Learning to Be Grateful Can Increase Happiness | Dr. Ike Shibley | TEDxPSUBerks
Summary
TLDRThe video explores the concept of happiness, emphasizing the importance of gratitude. It delves into historical perspectives on happiness, such as Aristotle's views, and modern psychological insights from Dan Gilbert. The speaker discusses how people often mispredict what will make them happy and stresses the need to focus on present gratitude rather than future expectations. Practical advice is given through examples like building a treehouse and Mitch Albom's 'Tuesdays with Morrie,' illustrating how small daily gratitudes can enhance overall happiness. The talk concludes with a personal story about finding gratitude in everyday moments.
Takeaways
- 😊 Happiness is the one aim in life that doesn't need justification, as stated by Aristotle.
- 🤔 Humans are not good at predicting what will make them happy, according to cognitive psychologists like Dan Gilbert.
- 🏠 Material possessions, such as a big house, often come with unforeseen downsides that can lead to unhappiness.
- 🌞 True happiness should be pursued in the present moment, rather than waiting for future events or conditions to change.
- 🙏 Practicing gratitude involves appreciating what you have, rather than focusing on what you want.
- 😟 Acknowledging the real fears and anxieties we face is important, but so is balancing them with gratitude.
- 🌳 Optimism can take different forms, such as working towards building something (like a treehouse) rather than passively hoping for it.
- 📚 Small, everyday pleasures are significant and contribute to overall happiness, as illustrated in 'Tuesdays with Morrie' by Mitch Albom.
- 📝 Creating a detailed gratitude list can enhance your appreciation for the little things in life.
- 🐕 Observing simple, joyful behaviors, like those of a dog, can help cultivate gratitude and happiness.
Q & A
What is the main topic of the video script?
-The main topic of the video script is happiness, specifically focusing on the concept of gratitude as a means to achieve happiness.
Who is Aristotle, and what is his view on happiness?
-Aristotle is an ancient Greek philosopher who claimed that happiness is the one aim in life that doesn't need justification.
What does the speaker suggest about the human ability to predict happiness?
-The speaker suggests that humans are not very good at predicting happiness, often misunderstanding what will truly make them happy.
Who is Dan Gilbert, and what is the premise of his book 'Stumbling on Happiness'?
-Dan Gilbert is a cognitive psychologist who wrote 'Stumbling on Happiness,' with the premise that people often muddle through life, misjudging what will make them happy.
What is the connection between the song 'Soak Up the Sun' by Sheryl Crow and the concept of gratitude?
-The song 'Soak Up the Sun' by Sheryl Crow is used as an example to illustrate the concept of gratitude, with the line 'it's not about getting what you want, it's about wanting what you've got.'
What did Franklin Delano Roosevelt say about fear in his inauguration speech?
-Franklin Delano Roosevelt said in his inauguration speech that 'the only thing we have to fear is fear itself,' emphasizing the power of fear over our emotions.
What is the speaker's stance on dealing with anxiety and anger?
-The speaker acknowledges that anxiety and anger are real emotions but suggests that cultivating gratitude can help manage these feelings while not ignoring the world's problems.
What is the book 'Tuesdays with Morrie' about and how does it relate to the script's theme?
-'Tuesdays with Morrie' is a book about a writer named Mitch Albom reconnecting with his college professor, Morrie Schwartz, who is dying of ALS. The book resonates with the script's theme by teaching the importance of finding pleasure in the little things, which aligns with the concept of gratitude.
What is the example of a tree house used to illustrate in the script?
-The tree house example is used to illustrate two forms of hopefulness: one where a child wishes for a tree house as a gift, and another where the child is hopeful about earning enough to build one, showing a proactive approach to happiness.
What is the speaker's suggestion for cultivating gratitude?
-The speaker suggests making a gratitude list, being specific about what one is grateful for, and practicing gratitude daily as a way to enhance happiness.
How does the speaker describe the importance of the little things in life?
-The speaker emphasizes the importance of the little things by sharing Morrie's response about what he would do if he had his health back for one day, highlighting the value of simple pleasures like watching the sunrise or having intimate conversations.
Outlines
😀 Happiness and Gratitude
The speaker begins by discussing happiness and gratitude, highlighting the historical perspective of Aristotle who viewed happiness as the ultimate goal in life. They delve into the flawed human ability to predict happiness, referencing Dan Gilbert's book 'Stumbling on Happiness'. The speaker points out that people often misjudge what will make them happy, such as a big house, and how these misconceptions can lead to unhappiness. They emphasize the importance of gratitude, citing Sheryl Crow's lyrics, and suggest that focusing on what we have rather than what we want can lead to greater happiness. The speaker also acknowledges the reality of fear and anxiety in life, rejecting the idea of ignoring problems and instead advocating for a balanced approach to cultivating gratitude amidst life's challenges.
🌳 Optimism and the Power of Gratitude
In this paragraph, the speaker uses the metaphor of a tree house to illustrate two types of hope: one where you wish for something to be given, and another where you actively work towards achieving it. They advocate for the latter, encouraging optimism in making things better. The speaker then references the book 'Tuesdays with Morrie', where the character Morrie teaches the importance of finding pleasure in simple daily activities. The speaker emphasizes the value of cultivating gratitude in everyday life, sharing a personal anecdote about a morning walk with his dog. They suggest creating a gratitude list, focusing on specific details to truly appreciate the blessings in life, and encourage the audience to practice gratitude daily, following Sheryl Crow's advice to appreciate what one already has.
🙏 Embracing Gratitude for a Happier Life
The speaker concludes by reinforcing the message of gratitude. They suggest that practicing gratitude can lead to a happier life, urging the audience to try it out. The speaker thanks the audience and ends the talk with applause, indicating a positive reception of the message shared. The emphasis is on the transformative power of gratitude and the speaker's belief in its ability to enhance one's happiness and overall well-being.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Happiness
💡Gratitude
💡Aristotle
💡Cognitive Psychologists
💡Dan Gilbert
💡Stoicism
💡Optimism
💡Anxiety
💡Franklin Delano Roosevelt
💡Tree House
💡Gratitude List
Highlights
The talk focuses on happiness and gratitude, exploring their relationship and how cultivating gratitude can lead to happiness.
Aristotle's view that happiness is the ultimate aim in life that doesn't need justification is discussed.
The common logical chain of wanting material things to achieve happiness is critiqued, highlighting our poor ability to predict what will make us happy.
Dan Gilbert's book 'Stumbling on Happiness' is mentioned, which argues that people often misjudge what will make them happy.
The idea that happiness is not about getting what you want, but wanting what you have, is introduced using Sheryl Crow's lyrics.
The speaker emphasizes the importance of not ignoring real-world problems while cultivating gratitude.
Franklin Delano Roosevelt's famous quote about fear is referenced to discuss the reality of fear and anxiety in life.
The speaker argues against stoicism and instead encourages finding happiness by realizing what we have and being optimistic about our potential.
The concept of two types of optimism is introduced: hoping for things to be given and hoping to achieve things through effort.
The story of Mitch Albom's book 'Tuesdays with Morrie' is shared to illustrate finding pleasure in simple things.
Morrie's response to a question about what he would do if he had his health back for one day emphasizes the value of ordinary activities.
The idea that cultivating gratitude is a daily practice is introduced, with the speaker sharing their personal morning walk experience.
The speaker provides a detailed example of a gratitude list, encouraging specificity to truly appreciate what one has.
The importance of noticing and appreciating small details in life, like the changing of leaves in fall, is highlighted.
The speaker suggests that gratitude can be practiced mentally while engaging in everyday activities like walking.
The talk concludes with a call to action for the audience to reflect on what they are grateful for and incorporate gratitude into their daily lives.
The applause at the end signifies the positive reception of the talk and its message on happiness and gratitude.
Transcripts
[Music]
happiness that's what I'm here to talk
to you about we're gonna talk about
gratitude in ways that are maybe a
little different we're gonna talk about
a gratitude list I'm gonna give you a
little history of happiness so I'm in
academic we're gonna have to go back and
talk about Aristotle Aristotle claimed
when he thought about happiness that it
was the one aim in life that didn't need
a justification and sometimes in class
I'll have students think about why
they're actually attending class and
they usually say well it's because I
want to get a good grade in this course
and why do you want a good grade in this
course well I want to get a college
degree and why do you want a college
degree well I want to get a good job why
do you want a good job well I want to
make money and why do you make money
because I want to buy shiny things and
and why do you want shiny things because
they'll make me happy and why are you
happy oh I'm done the logical chain I'm
happy just being that's happiness the
problem is that as human beings were not
very good at predicting happiness
cognitive psychologists in the 20th and
21st century have explored this dan
Gilbert wrote a book called stumbling on
happiness and his premise was that we
just kind of muddle our way through we
think things like oh if I have a big
house I'll be happy but then we forget
that a big house if we want to buy it we
have to live further away from where we
work and now we're commuting and then we
come home and we're miserable in our big
house so we can't always think about
future predictiveness will say things
like I can't wait till winters over I'll
be happy then now I'll be happy when
this cough ends know where we want to be
happy now and we want to do that through
gratitude so I'll use a mod
philosopher Sheryl Crow cuz in soak up
the Sun she had the line it's not about
getting what you want it's about wanting
what you've got and that's gratitude the
problem is that we sometimes think that
there's a lot of mess in the world right
and so we have to cope with anxiety we
have to cope with anger at the beginning
of his administration Franklin Delano
Roosevelt gave his inauguration speech
with the famous line that the only thing
we have to fear is fear itself
but fear is real and I want to show you
that I'm not Pollyanna I'm not
encouraging you to just forget about all
the problems in the world because there
are some when you give your teenage
child the keys to a car it is the you
near impossible not to be anxious and
when a car cuts you off it's impossible
not to sometimes get angry we get upset
when we think about health care costs
and we get anxious when we think about
whether that cost is going to lead to
something more serious or that lump on
my neck is something more dangerous we
live with that anxiety so we have to
somehow keep that at bay while we're
cultivating gratitude but we talk about
health care costs and that leads us to
government and if you want to be anxious
or angry there are plenty of media
pundits who will be able to get you both
just turn on any kind of media source
and you'll be there we also worry about
whether this is Hurricane Ike 2008
hurricane we worry about when the next
hurricane might be but we also worry
about whether it's going to rain
on the picnic we have planned and we
worry when it snows and we worry about
the wildfires in California and the
tornadoes in the Midwest we worry about
a lot of things so I am NOT saying
there's nothing to worry about and I'm
also not encouraging you to do what the
Roman philosophers there's a school of
thought that says stoicism is the way to
handle these kind of problems where you
just learn to accept everything it's
okay that's not my argument either my
argument is that we need to try to be
happy by realizing we have a lot and
being optimistic about what we can
accomplish so let's use the example of a
tree house let's say a 12 13 year old
once once a tree house I'm gonna give
you two possibilities
one is the Christmas possibility please
Santa bring me a tree house I want to go
up on Christmas morning and look out and
see a tree house that's one form of
hopefulness the other form is I hope I
can make enough money on my lemonade
stand to buy the resources that I need I
hope I can understand the directions
when I find them and I hope I can corral
enough family and friends to help me
build this tree house that's a different
kind of optimism and that's the kind of
optimism that I'm encouraging so we're
grateful but we can still make things
better so I want to wrap up here with a
story about my dog and my wife but also
before I do that there's a book called
Tuesdays with Maurey about a writer
named Mitch Albom who was a sports
writer and he reconnected with his
college professor so this was a book
that resonated with me Morrie Schwartz
was dying of ALS amyotrophic lateral
sclerosis which is Lou Gehrig's disease
and he was bedridden and Mitch would
come and visit him and one of the
lessons that were
we tried to teach Mitch was that you can
find pleasure in a lot of little things
and so one of the times they're talking
Mitch asked Morrie if he could have his
health back for one day what would he do
and more he thought about it said he'd
have a nice big breakfast and then he'd
he'd go for a walk
he'd have lunch with just one or two
friends so they could have intimate
conversation he'd relax a little in the
afternoon he'd have a big dinner of
pasta and then he'd dance a niche
thought it's so mundane like don't you
have a bucket list don't you want to do
something exciting and then Mitch
realized what more he was trying to
teach him which is it's the little
things that matter like people often
come back from shore vacations and say
oh so relaxing I watch the Sun Rise the
Sun rises everywhere does it matter
where you are you can watch the Sun Rise
you don't need a vacation to do that
cultivating gratitude is kind of a daily
thing so what I want to do at the end
here is to just give you an example of
what a gratitude list might be like and
you can do this people do this with
collages people do it in their phone I
tend to do it in my mind while I'm
walking so I was up at 6 o'clock this
morning and this is the scene that I had
this is actually last year's photo but I
tried to find one that was gonna mirror
this morning's walk so I was with I was
with my dog my wife was sleeping but I
could say things like oh I'm grateful to
be married to my best friend and I'm
grateful to walk with my dog but that's
not enough for a gratitude list what you
want for a gratitude list is to get
specific so let me show you I'm grateful
for fall weather I'm grateful that
leaves change colors because my eyes
appreciate them I'm grateful that I can
sense the change
in temperature I love the way cool air
feels on my skin I'm grateful for the
Burks Conservancy for maintaining these
trails I'm grateful that I live only
five minutes away this is never sink
Mountain and I am grateful that most of
the people that walk on never sing are
incredibly respectful there's almost no
trash there's a really well marked trail
I'm grateful that I was able to train my
dog to stay off leash because I really
like walking her off leash she's very
well behaved but I also like that she's
always excited no matter what talk about
gratitude watch a dog and you'll see
gratitude that's that's the specifics
that we want to cultivate so I would
encourage you maybe after this is over
on your way home talk to people talk
about what you're grateful for think
about it and try to do it just a little
every day this isn't a big change in
your life it's just following Sheryl
Crow's advice right it's about getting
it's not about getting what you want
it's about wanting what you've got so
try gratitude I think you'll be happier
thanks
[Applause]
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