Being a dusty un chosen weirdo isn’t that bad!

Summary

In this introspective video, the creator discusses the unexpected benefits of not being the center of attention or a 'main character.' She candidly shares her personal experiences with loneliness and feeling unchosen, yet finds empowerment in the freedom that comes from having fewer societal expectations to meet. She advocates for detachment from the superficial judgments of others, embracing one's own reality, and finding joy in simply existing. The video encourages viewers to redefine success on their terms and to find strength in their individuality.

Takeaways

• 📢 The video discusses the positive aspects of not being a main character or being 'irrelevant' in social contexts.
• 🔑 The speaker emphasizes that there are benefits to being free from societal expectations and pressures.
• 🏠 The feeling of loneliness is explored, suggesting that it stems from being different and not having a strong support system.
• 💡 The idea is presented that being the 'strongest person in the room' can lead to a sense of isolation, but also to freedom.
• 🤔 The speaker reflects on personal experiences and how they cope with feeling unchosen by family, friends, and the world.
• 🧘‍♀️ Detachment is highlighted as a coping mechanism, achieved through practices like yoga and walks, to find inner peace.
• 💭 The importance of internal dialogue and living in one's head is mentioned as a way to navigate external negativity.
• 🚫 The speaker rejects societal norms and expectations, choosing to exist on their own terms rather than conform.
• 🌟 The concept of 'yin and yang' is used to illustrate the balance needed in society, where the existence of one group often relies on the existence of its opposite.
• 💪 The video concludes by encouraging viewers to find their own way to be happy and exist freely, regardless of societal acceptance.
• 🤷‍♀️ The speaker acknowledges the difficulty of their mindset and the judgment they face for not fitting into traditional gender roles or expectations.

Q & A

What is the main theme of the video?

The main theme of the video is exploring the positive aspects of not being a main character or not being in the spotlight, and how this can lead to a sense of freedom and less pressure.

What does the speaker mean by 'the perks that come with being irrelevant'?

The speaker is referring to the benefits of not being the center of attention or not having high expectations placed upon oneself, which can lead to less stress and more personal freedom.

What personal experiences does the speaker draw from in the video?

The speaker draws from her own experiences of feeling lonely and unchosen by her family, friends, and the world, which has led her to develop coping mechanisms and a unique perspective on life.

How does the speaker describe her personality type?

The speaker describes her personality as logical, straightforward, and blunt, which she feels is similar to a stereotypical male personality and is often judged or not accepted in society.

What coping mechanisms does the speaker mention using to deal with her feelings of loneliness and rejection?

The speaker mentions using yoga and going on walks as ways to learn detachment and find peace within her own mind, away from the judgments and pressures of the outside world.

What does the speaker mean when she says 'the world is fake'?

The speaker is expressing her belief that the external world and the opinions of others are not as real or important as one's own thoughts and feelings, which can provide a safe haven.

How does the speaker view the concept of 'popular kids' and 'lame kids'?

The speaker views the concept as a societal construct where the power and value of popular kids are dependent on the existence of those who are considered less valuable or 'lame', suggesting a need for balance and opposites in society.

What does the speaker suggest is the key to finding happiness despite not being accepted by others?

The speaker suggests that the key to finding happiness is to detach from the need for others' acceptance, to exist freely, and to find joy in one's own existence without relying on external validation.

Why does the speaker believe that being called 'confident' is ironic?

The speaker finds it ironic because she is simply existing and being herself, without trying to prove or assert anything. The label of 'confident' is a reflection of societal expectations and the contrast between her natural state and the world's perception.

What advice does the speaker give to those who feel they have nothing and are not accepted?

The speaker advises that even in the absence of external validation or material possessions, one is still alive and has the ability to find another way to live and be happy, emphasizing the importance of self-acceptance and resilience.

Outlines

00:00

😔 Embracing Loneliness: The Perks of Being Unnoticed

The speaker introduces the concept of finding the 'bright side' of not being a main character or someone of significance in the eyes of others. They discuss their personal experiences with loneliness and feeling unchosen by family, friends, and the world. Despite the emotional toll, they highlight the freedom that comes with having no expectations to meet, as fitting in often brings the pressure of fulfilling certain standards. The speaker also touches on their coping mechanisms, such as detaching from the world and finding solace in their own thoughts, which they find more genuine and safe than external interactions.

05:01

🧘‍♀️ Detachment and Self-Acceptance: Finding Inner Peace

The speaker delves into the practice of detachment as a means to cope with societal pressures and judgments. They share their personal journey of learning detachment through yoga and walks, which has helped them find a safe haven in their own mind. The speaker emphasizes the importance of not participating in conversations or situations that do not align with one's values or personality. They also discuss the struggle of being true to oneself in a world that often demands conformity, and the relief found in accepting and embracing one's own identity, even if it is not widely accepted by others.

10:02

🚫 Breaking Free from Societal Constructs: The Power of Nonconformity

In this paragraph, the speaker challenges the societal constructs of popularity and acceptance, arguing that these are artificial measures of worth. They discuss the concept of balance and the necessity of contrasting groups for others to feel superior. The speaker rejects the idea of needing validation from others and chooses to exist on their own terms, free from the pressures of fitting into societal norms. They encourage others to find happiness and fulfillment outside of conventional expectations, emphasizing the importance of self-acceptance and the strength found in simply existing.

Keywords

💡Main character

In the context of the video, 'main character' refers to someone who is central to a story or situation, often receiving attention and having a significant impact on the narrative. The speaker contrasts this with their own experience of being 'irrelevant,' suggesting a lack of centrality or importance. The video explores the unexpected benefits of not being the 'main character,' such as fewer expectations and the freedom that comes with being overlooked.

💡Perks

The term 'perks' in this video script denotes the advantages or benefits that come with a particular situation or status. The speaker discusses the 'perks' of not being a main character, which include a lack of societal pressure to conform to certain expectations and the freedom to exist without the burden of others' judgments.

💡Loneliness

Loneliness is a feeling of sadness or emptiness due to a lack of company or companionship. The speaker mentions being a 'lonely person' and feeling unsupported, which is central to the video's theme of exploring the emotional experience of being on the periphery of social circles and the coping mechanisms that arise from this state.

💡Expectations

Expectations are beliefs or anticipations about what will happen or what someone should do. The video discusses how not being the center of attention means fewer expectations to meet, which can be liberating for those who feel the pressure to conform to societal norms or the desires of others.

💡Detachment

Detachment in the video refers to the practice of emotional or mental separation from external situations or people. The speaker talks about learning detachment through activities like yoga and walks, which helps them cope with the feeling of being unchosen and unvalued by creating a safe space in their mind.

💡Rejection

Rejection is the act of refusing to accept or regard someone or something. The video script mentions that those who are not the main character have already faced rejection, which paradoxically sets them free from the fear of it, as they have nothing left to lose.

💡Existence

The concept of 'existence' in the video is about simply being and living one's life without the need for external validation or recognition. The speaker uses the term to describe their approach to life, focusing on their own experience rather than seeking the approval of others.

💡Bullied

To be 'bullied' means to be subjected to aggressive or intimidating behavior. The speaker touches on the fear of being one's natural self due to the risk of bullying, but suggests that accepting one's situation and detaching from the negativity can be a form of empowerment.

💡Yin and Yang

Yin and Yang is a Chinese philosophical concept that represents the duality and interconnectedness of seemingly opposite forces. The speaker uses this concept to illustrate the idea that for there to be popular or successful individuals, there must be those who are seen as less so, and that this dynamic is not necessarily something to aspire to.

💡Logical

Logical refers to thinking or reasoning in a clear, consistent, and sound manner. The speaker describes their personality as logical and straightforward, which contrasts with societal expectations for certain gender roles, and this difference has led to feelings of being judged and misunderstood.

💡Confident

Confidence is a feeling or belief in one's abilities or qualities. The speaker notes that they are often called 'confident' for simply existing and being themselves, which highlights the societal tendency to label those who do not seek validation as confident, rather than just comfortable in their own skin.

Highlights

The speaker discusses the unexpected benefits of not being a main character or 'irrelevant', suggesting that there are perks to not being in the spotlight.

The video's creator shares personal experiences to cope with feelings of loneliness and the inability to rely on others for support.

A strong person needs someone stronger to protect them, but when you're the strongest in the room, it can lead to a sense of loneliness.

The absence of expectations when nobody cares about you can be liberating, as there's no pressure to meet others' standards.

The speaker describes a mindset of accepting negative labels from others without feeling the need to prove them wrong, embracing a carefree existence.

Being conventionally attractive can be burdensome, as it requires constant effort to maintain that status, whereas embracing one's flaws can lead to freedom.

The speaker emphasizes that what's real is what's in one's head, suggesting that internal dialogue is more meaningful than external interactions.

Detachment from societal expectations and judgments is presented as a way to find safety and sanity in one's own thoughts.

The speaker has learned detachment through practices like yoga and walks, which help in coping with external negativity.

Choosing not to participate in conversations or aspects of the world that are not aligned with one's values is a form of self-preservation.

The speaker's personality, which is logical and straightforward, contrasts with societal expectations for women, leading to a sense of non-acceptance.

The idea of 'taking one's L' (loss) with pride and existing authentically, rather than trying to fit in, is presented as a form of empowerment.

The speaker reflects on the difficulty of being judged for one's personality and appearance, and the decision to stop seeking acceptance.

Detachment is key to avoiding the negative impact of people who cannot understand or appreciate the speaker's mindset.

The concept of balance is introduced, suggesting that for every 'popular' or 'attractive' person, there must be an 'unpopular' or 'unattractive' counterpart.

The speaker argues that by detaching from societal games and not seeking validation, one can find freedom and happiness independently.

The video concludes with the message that not being accepted can lead to less pressure and more freedom to live life on one's own terms.

Transcripts

hey guys

what is up so y'all see the title of the

video

today

we are jumping into

the bright side of not being a main

character the the the perks that comes

with being irrelevant the perks that

comes with nobody caring about you

because there are perks [ __ ]

before we go any further make sure to

subscribe to my channel [ __ ] get me to

100k bye y'all sorry i lied i'm back

listen

this is things that i've done to help me

cope with my own personal experience i'm

not a professional anything do you know

what personal experience means go look

up personal that means it's me we're

talking about me do you understand so

i'm not telling you to take this advice

if you decide to take this advice and

you die whose fault not mine not mine

okay

okay

i'm not a professional anything i'm

literally a random 20 year old girl

with no credentials okay

bye

so first of all i want to get into

loneliness i've always been a lonely

person because i've always been

somebody with a different type of

personality and i've always felt like

whenever i need somebody to to defend me

to vouch for me they can never do it

because really think about it most

people can't even show their true

personalities so how can these

weak-minded people ever defend me so

even when i'm grouped up with family and

friends and all this i just have this i

just have it in the back of my mind that

if something was to happen right now you

couldn't even go to bat for me because

you're such a weak person you know when

you're when when you're a strong person

you need someone stronger to protect you

and so when you're the strongest person

in the room the most strong-minded

person in the room you feel so lonely i

feel like everybody around me is a

complete let down like you can't abandon

you can't abandon your beliefs and

choose me i feel unchosen

i feel unchosen by

my my family my friends i feel unchosen

by the world

and that is very depressing y'all that

is very depressing but hold on

don't start crying yet don't start

crying yet

because there's perks to this [ __ ] it's

perks to this lifestyle

when nobody cares about you

there's no expectations [ __ ] you have

no expectations to meet

do you understand what i'm saying when

you fit in when you fit in and everybody

likes you you have a certain expectation

that you need to meet day by day and if

you don't meet that expectation

you're gonna face rejection which is so

scary

but people like me we've already been

rejected there's already nobody there so

in a way we've been set free do you

understand what i'm saying

let me get into how my brain works i'm

the type of person if you call me stupid

a bunch of times

then i'm just gonna accept the fact that

i'm stupid and i'm just gonna continue

to move through life a lot of people

whenever they get caught stupid they're

gonna try to prove the person wrong

which i don't think that's a bad thing

just a lazy [ __ ] like me i don't like

to prove people wrong i like to just

exist you know what i mean i just i'm

just like a free you know i'm a hippie i

just want to exist so like it's the same

concept with being called ugly if you

call me ugly enough i'm gonna be like

this all right

and i'm gonna move with the flow

[Music]

because what the [ __ ] can i do

what the [ __ ] can i do all i can do is

consistently survive now hold on imagine

you're uh let's say you're a

conventionally attractive person

look at you having to fight for your

life every single day to stay in that

conventionally attractive spot

sounds like a lot of work to me when you

can just take your l

and live freely

here's the thing you may think oh my god

being unchosen is so

you know lonely you feel unwanted you

feel unvaluable

but hold on that's that's where we get

into some things

the world is fake what's real is what's

in your head i'm gonna sound like a

crackhead [ __ ] today

so lately i've just been living in my

head

because whenever i'm talking to people

it's i just don't feel like i'm talking

to real people like you're you're moving

your mouth but nothing you're saying is

making sense so i'm just looking but the

oh the only real conversation that's

going on is in my head and maybe i'm a

crackhead maybe i'm a crackhead and

maybe

maybe i need help

but it's just safer in here where things

make sense than out here where nothing

makes sense i've had so many people

recently tell me that they're so scared

to be their natural self because they're

going to get bullied

which is valid because getting bullied

sucks

but if you really think about it

i don't know you you just you just

accept your faith and you detach from it

like okay

y'all don't like me

i don't know you just keep it moving you

just keep it moving you just

i don't know you have to detach from the

world honestly

learning detachment and how have i

learned it i've learned it through yoga

and

going on walks things like that yoga is

really what really helps me right now

learning detachment is so much better

because why would you want to be

attached look at what we're living in

look at where we're living in land of

the fake land of judgmental

land of negativity land of low

vibrations when you you don't have to be

associated with that you can just live

in your brain where everything is safe

so now when i have conversations with

people the way that i cope because my

issue was i have this way that i want to

live life and whenever people talk to me

and they and the way that they talk the

things that they talk about i just hate

it so much

i just

i don't know you can just leave the

conversation you don't have to

participate you don't have to

participate in conversation you don't

have to participate in this world i mean

yes you have to go to work and stuff but

you you can really find a safe heaven

haven in your head

let me tell you me personally my

personality has never been hyped the

traits that i have in my personality

because let me be honest with y'all

i'm a very logical thinking

you know straightforward

blunt type person

i feel like my personality is very

similar to a stereotypical male

personality and having that type of

personality as a girl is not acceptable

they don't want logical they want

whimsical and emotional and not that i'm

not emotional i'm definitely emotional

but y'all do you see how i think like

the way that i think is like you know

like building blocks like straight lines

that's kind of how like i feel like a

lot of men think like i don't know

my personality has been judged for so

long my face has been judged for so long

that i was i'm like you know what

you know what i'mma let y'all have that

[Music]

i'm just gonna take my l officially

y'all won i'm gonna let y'all have that

because let me tell you why

trying hard to be accepted

is too much work

for me every single day i have to try so

hard to like

you know you know how many [ __ ]

personalities i use i have like 17

personalities that i put out there

because just being my real personality

is just not acceptable just being a very

you know it's not even like i'm a

carefree person but i guess i seem

carefree it's just not acceptable as a

person that looks like me i'm supposed

to sit in misery

about and think about all the people who

don't want me and i'm just supposed to

talk about how insecure i am 24 7. i

can't do that i want to catch a vibe i

want to catch moms i want to have fun i

want to breathe

this life isn't real and it's like

actually hold on let me be real let me

be real

i would love to live in a world where

i was just accepted because let's be

real that's easier that's easier

but that's not the case and there's only

so much you can do about stuff see how i

told you i'm very logical that's just

not the case and i can't morph into a

different person tomorrow all i can

really do is take my l and go to [ __ ] to

sleep like i don't know what else to say

another thing that's been really hard is

not a lot of people have the mindset

like me so

a big issue that i've been dealing with

right now is people

looking at me looking at the things that

i go through and being like oh my gosh i

could never

and i hate when people say that because

it's like just that sentence

the sentence is negative i don't know

how to explain it

that sentence of i could never do what

you do

it has a low vibrational vibe to it and

it's like they're trying to pull you

down back to hell with them but you have

to detach from those type of people

that's why i was saying i'm living in my

brain so anytime people talk about stuff

that i don't like i'm like this this is

not real

i'm like this there's no way this is not

real this is not real i'm not here right

now i'm inside what he's talking about

they're just confused like i don't know

them i'm not associated with them like

just complete

detachment i'm trying to not respond to

negative things to people who are in

such dark places

because why would i even go to your dark

place to speak to you let me stay in my

light and airy free place

and catch vibes and have fun the

craziest thing about

having

being on my mindset is that

what have i been getting called a lot

recently confident

confident

i am not confident i'm existing

the fact that i'm called confident

for existing

the world is a dark place and y'all got

a lot of issues going on you'll have a

lot of issues going on that this is a

big deal for me to just be

you see

you see what the issue is with just

being being someone that just bees

let's get into let's get into bullies

let's get into let's get into popular

kids and lame kids

now

for there to be popular kids think about

this for there to be popular kids there

has to be lame kids that envy

the popular kids and that's how they get

their power do you understand what i'm

saying people need

people to be pathetic and have low value

so that they can have high value do you

understand let's get into the yin gang

sign [ __ ] because i'm so obsessed with

it and balance

equal and opposite reactions if somebody

is beautiful somebody has to be ugly

if somebody is popular somebody has to

be lame if somebody is rich somebody has

to be poor so what if

we get rid of the poor people the

conventionally unattractive people what

if we get rid of the unpopular kids who

can't exist anymore popular people

conventionally attractive people and

they need they need us to have power

and now that i've separated myself from

this game that y'all are playing i've

decided i don't want to play anymore

i'll just take my l with pride you know

what i mean i'll just take my own with

pride and i'll leave it's an issue

because you're not able to thrive off of

my misery y'all hear me i'll be in

listen to me y'all

you're a person right now and you get

snow [ __ ] or you have no man

you have you you nobody likes you right

let me tell you you're still breathing

you're still here you're still existing

if you really needed those things when

you didn't have it you would have died

but you didn't die [ __ ] you're alive

you're alive

so you can find another way to live you

can find another way to be happy there's

always another way [ __ ]

they want us to think there's only one

way and if we don't have that one way we

should just be at home depressed crying

and throwing up nah [ __ ]

i'm here i'm existent i'm thriving

so yeah

the bright side to

not being accepted

is

less expectations

that's it

that's it i've always had a small amount

of expectations on me you have nothing

to lose when you are not chosen you

really have nothing to lose so you can

really be free you know what i mean

you know what i mean

all right that was like a short video

but that's the end bye y'all