6 Life Lessons I'd Give To My Younger Self
Summary
TLDRIn this reflective video, Anas, a UK-based doctor, shares six life lessons he's learned by the age of 29. He emphasizes the importance of listening to feedback, starting new endeavors regardless of age, maintaining consistency, not being overly concerned with others' opinions, establishing good self-care habits, and viewing oneself as average to stay grounded and motivated. His insights aim to inspire personal growth and effective life management.
Takeaways
- 🗣️ Takeaway 1: The importance of listening to feedback and learning to manage it effectively is crucial for personal growth, as opposed to the narrative of ignoring others' opinions for success.
- 🎈 Takeaway 2: Using the balloon analogy, being receptive to feedback allows for growth without the risk of bursting from too much input or remaining deflated from none at all.
- 🎾 Takeaway 3: It's never too late to start a new activity or pursue a passion, as demonstrated by the speaker's experience with learning tennis later in life.
- 🔁 Takeaway 4: Consistency is key in achieving success in any endeavor, whether it's content creation or physical training, and lack of it can lead to stagnation or regression.
- 🤔 Takeaway 5: People's opinions about you are not always a reflection of your true self, and focusing too much on pleasing others can detract from self-improvement.
- 💆♂️ Takeaway 6: Establishing good self-care habits early on can prevent long-term issues and contribute to overall well-being.
- 🍽️ Takeaway 7: Healthy lifestyle choices, such as diet and exercise, have long-term benefits that are evident in the vitality of older individuals in Mediterranean cultures.
- 🕴️ Takeaway 8: Seeing oneself as average can lead to a balanced perspective on life, promoting humility in success and resilience in the face of challenges.
- 🧠 Takeaway 9: Recognizing that most people are likely to be somewhere in the middle of the bell curve in terms of abilities, it's hard work and consistency that truly differentiate individuals.
- 🛑 Takeaway 10: Knowing when to stop and pivot is important, but maintaining a mindset of being average encourages continuous effort without being hindered by self-doubt or overconfidence.
Q & A
What is the main theme of the video?
-The main theme of the video is sharing life lessons learned by the speaker, Anas, who is a doctor working in the UK, with the aim of helping viewers draw benefits from his experiences.
What is the first lesson Anas talks about and why is it important?
-The first lesson is 'just shut up and listen.' It's important because being receptive to feedback is key to personal growth, despite the common narrative that one should only follow their own path without listening to others.
How does Anas describe the analogy of a balloon with feedback?
-Anas uses the balloon analogy to illustrate three outcomes of feedback: no growth without feedback, bursting from too much unfiltered feedback, and steady growth with a mechanism to release negative feedback, similar to a balloon with a small hole.
What is the second lesson Anas shares and why is it significant?
-The second lesson is 'it's never too late to start.' It's significant because it encourages viewers to begin new endeavors regardless of their age or perceived lateness, emphasizing that starting is better than not starting at all.
Can you provide an example from the script that illustrates the lesson about starting something new?
-Anas shares his personal experience of starting to play tennis at the age of 29, which shows that even if he had started earlier, he would have missed out on the experiences he had while playing in recent years.
What is the third lesson and how does Anas demonstrate its impact?
-The third lesson is 'consistency.' Anas demonstrates its impact by reflecting on his own experiences, such as the success of his YouTube channel due to consistent effort and the failures in weightlifting due to inconsistency.
What does Anas suggest about the importance of people's opinions of you?
-Anas suggests that while feedback can be important, ultimately it does not matter what most people think of you, as only a few people's paths will align with yours for a significant amount of time.
What is the fourth lesson and what does it imply about self-improvement?
-The fourth lesson is about realizing that 'everybody will move on.' It implies that self-improvement should be the focus, rather than trying to please everyone, as people's opinions can be transient.
How does Anas connect self-care habits to long-term benefits?
-Anas connects self-care habits to long-term benefits by using the example of skincare routines, which can prevent long-term issues like sun damage and scarring, and by drawing parallels to healthy eating habits in Mediterranean cultures.
What is the fifth lesson and why is it crucial for long-term well-being?
-The fifth lesson is to 'establish good self-care habits.' It is crucial for long-term well-being because simple daily habits can prevent long-term issues and contribute to overall health and happiness.
What perspective does Anas recommend for viewing oneself and why?
-Anas recommends viewing oneself as 'average' because this perspective can prevent feelings of inadequacy or arrogance, promote humility, and encourage consistent hard work without being deterred by perceived limits or gifts.
How does Anas explain the potential downside of seeing oneself as either gifted or lacking potential?
-Anas explains that seeing oneself as gifted might lead to complacency and not reaching one's full potential, while seeing oneself as lacking potential could deter one from trying at all, thus limiting personal growth.
What is the final lesson and what does it suggest about our approach to life?
-The final lesson is to 'see yourself as average.' It suggests that our approach to life should be grounded in hard work and consistency, rather than being influenced by the uncertainty of our innate abilities or potential.
Outlines
🗣️ Embracing Feedback for Growth
Anas, a UK-based doctor, shares the first lesson from his life's experiences: the importance of listening and being receptive to feedback. He challenges the narrative that one must ignore others' opinions to succeed, highlighting the value of constructive criticism for personal development. Anas uses the analogy of a balloon and air to illustrate three outcomes of receiving feedback: stagnation without feedback, bursting from too much, and steady growth with proper management of feedback. He emphasizes the necessity of filtering out malicious input while embracing useful feedback to achieve one's full potential.
🎾 It's Never Too Late to Start
The second lesson focuses on the idea that it's never too late to begin a new activity or pursue a passion. Anas recounts his initial hesitation to start playing tennis at 14 due to feeling too old, only to pick it up in 2020 during the pandemic and quickly become proficient. He reflects on the missed opportunities and experiences had he started earlier, and encourages viewers to try new things without being deterred by age or perceived lateness, as the benefits of starting and persisting in an activity can be significant.
🔄 The Power of Consistency
In the third lesson, Anas discusses the impact of consistency in various aspects of life. He shares his success with creating content for his channel without prior experience, attributing it to consistent effort over time. Conversely, he admits to struggling with consistency in weightlifting, leading to a lack of progress. Anas emphasizes that consistency is crucial for achieving goals and that it's never too late to adopt this habit, as the long-term benefits can be substantial.
👥 The Transience of Others' Opinions
Lesson four addresses the significance and insignificance of others' opinions. Anas admits to having been self-conscious in his youth and acknowledges that while feedback is essential, it's also important to recognize that most people's opinions are fleeting and not always reflective of one's true character. He advises not to let the desire for universal likability detract from self-improvement, as it can lead to anxiety and compromised values. Instead, focus should be on personal growth, as people's paths diverge over time.
💆♂️ Establishing Self-Care Habits
The fifth lesson is about establishing good self-care habits. Anas shares his personal experience with acne, which worsened due to neglect and lack of a skincare routine. He uses this as an example to illustrate how simple daily habits can prevent long-term issues. He extends this concept to other areas such as diet and exercise, citing the health and vitality of elderly Mediterranean individuals as evidence of the long-term benefits of a healthy lifestyle. Anas encourages viewers to adopt habits that will benefit their future selves.
🧘♂️ Seeing Oneself as Average
The final lesson encourages viewers to see themselves as average, which Anas describes as a life-changing perspective. He explains that self-perception influences how one is treated by others and how one reacts to success and failure. Viewing oneself as average helps maintain humility and challenge disrespect, and it prevents disappointment from unrealized potential or the pressure of perceived superiority. Anas argues that hard work, research, and consistency are what truly differentiate individuals, and focusing on these controllable factors is more beneficial than fixating on one's position on an imaginary bell curve of ability.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Feedback
💡Consistency
💡Self-Care
💡Potential
💡Growth Mindset
💡Self-Perception
💡Opinion
💡Habit
💡Resilience
💡Authenticity
💡Perspective
Highlights
Lesson one emphasizes the importance of listening to feedback for growth, rather than disregarding all advice.
Being receptive to feedback is crucial for self-improvement, despite the discomfort it may cause.
The analogy of a balloon and air illustrates the balance needed in receiving feedback without being overwhelmed.
Lesson two encourages starting new activities regardless of age, using the speaker's experience with learning tennis as an example.
Consistency is key to achieving success, as demonstrated by the speaker's experience with video editing and weightlifting.
Opinions of others are less important than self-improvement and personal growth.
The importance of not seeking validation from everyone and focusing on self-improvement is highlighted.
Lesson four discusses the inevitability of people moving on and the importance of focusing on personal development.
Establishing good self-care habits early can prevent long-term issues, as illustrated by the speaker's experience with acne.
Healthy lifestyle habits, such as diet and exercise, contribute to long-term well-being and should be established early.
Seeing oneself as average can lead to a balanced perspective on life, promoting humility and hard work.
The impact of self-perception on how others treat you and the importance of self-respect are discussed.
The concept that most people are average and that hard work and consistency are what differentiate individuals is explored.
The potential pitfalls of believing oneself to be either exceptionally gifted or lacking in abilities are outlined.
The importance of not letting self-perception limit one's efforts or potential is emphasized.
The video concludes with the advice to continue working hard and not be deterred by self-perceived limits or gifts.
Transcripts
okay so six lessons that I've learned
from me being on this Earth for almost
29 years touching 30 my name is anas I
am a doctor working in the UK and in
today's video I thought I'd collate some
of these lessons into one simple quick
video so that you can draw some benefits
from them because some of them I didn't
listen to some I only learned quite late
and yeah hopefully it's useful for you
lesson number one just shut up and
listen I know it sounds very aggressive
but let me land here one of the things
that I've noticed in the last few years
is that there's often this narrative
that is pushed that in order to be
successful you need to basically stop
listening to what everybody else is
telling you I don't know why I went
American day but you need to stop
listening to what everyone else is
telling you and just do what the hell
you want to do all the time it's that
story of the underdog you know where
someone is just starting off and they've
got all of these haters and everyone's
telling them that they can't do
something and you can't do this and you
can't do that and despite hearing all of
this they come out successful and these
stories are often true and we find them
really inspiring right but what I've
also learned is that sometimes this sort
of mindset is not really conducive for
growth and it's not great for a lot of
us what people will actually not tell
you is that most people who do great
things did it with the help of loads of
other people people do not improve
without listening to others personally I
found that as a rule it's far more
beneficial to be receptive to feedback
and instead finding a way to effectively
manage that feedback as it comes in and
look it's true that along the way most
of us will meet people who are malicious
people who will say things and do things
with a pure intent of bringing us down
but then this doesn't mean that everyone
else who gives us constructive feedback
is doing it out of malice or is doing it
in order to be harmful and this is true
no matter how uncomfortable or
distressed hearing something bad about
yourself can be being able to
effectively manage feedback is probably
the most important lesson you'll take
away from this
video let me give you a visual example
and in this example you I or all of us
are like balloons right and feedback in
this example is depicted by air and we
can kind of figure out where this
example is going to go because we know
that balloons usually are inflated by
air so going on from this in this
example there are three possibilities
when you take balloon and air outcome
number one the balloon doesn't receive
any air so when the balloon doesn't
receive any air it just stays the same
right it stays deflated it doesn't
really grow and eventually it doesn't
fulfill its purpose as the balloon this
is exactly the same as someone who
doesn't take any feedback in at all they
stay static they stay the same the
mistakes they make they continue to make
they're unaware of them their faults and
weaknesses will be with them for the
rest of their life and that way they
never really reach their full potential
and they eventually don't even fulfill
their purpose outcome number two the
balloon receives loads of NOS of air it
becomes over inflated and eventually it
pops this is the similitude and I know
that's a big word of someone who listens
to everything that everyone else tells
them they take it in and eventually they
crack this leads them to becoming hurt
broken and traumatized and it leads to a
negative feedback loop where the more
they listen the worse off they get
outcome number three the balloon gets
loads and loads of air
similar to the other example but in this
case it has a small hole so that as it
receives the air some of that air
escapes and it prevents it from
eventually bursting and eventually you
know that balloon will also pop just
like all humans won't live forever but
at least that balloon will continue
growing and it will stay inflated for
much longer and this example is similar
to the person who is receptive to
feedback you know they allow the air to
get in they allow the input to come in
but they have a way of filtering out the
bad air or they have a way of managing
the bad feedback they get and it doesn't
affect them in a bad way when they get
bad feedback because they just ignore it
they take in the useful feedback and
they disregard the crappy stuff and you
know I've thought this many times
there's been so many occasions where
I've met someone maybe in a social
setting or in a work setting or whatever
where I've noticed something that they
haven't noticed about themselves and
I've seen them receive some sort of
feedback like in a subtle way by others
but instead of taking it in and making a
change what they do is they just justify
it and I've been a culprit of this
myself a few times where I've been given
feedback and in some way internally I've
reacted badly to it and it's made me
feel a type of way it is in those
moments that we need to sort of catch
ourselves and assess The credibility of
that feedback and decide you know do we
take this in and make a change or do we
just kind of ignore
it lesson number two it's never too late
to start even if you think that it's too
late and I remember one particular day
in 2009 I had just moved to the UK I had
basically no friends and I was trying to
find something new to do and I had the
thought of starting to play tennis so I
went online and I did a few Google
searches but then I also thought like
flip I'm 1450 which now in hindsight is
is you know super young people would
have started playing tennis at seven or
8 years old and I would be so behind
that you know there was no point in
starting at all and so that fleeting
thought which I definitely had because I
remember I had it never really
materialized until Co in 2020 where you
know we were all released and allowed to
go out and I decided to pick up tennis
quite seriously streets across England
were bursting with people today eager to
break free of lockdown and that summer I
play tennis almost every day because I
just graduated from uni I was you know
free every day to do whatever I wanted I
became quite decent to where I can play
like I can play a proper game I can hold
the rally I can hold my own amongst the
people that I
[Applause]
know but then this takes me back to my
initial thought what would have happened
if I had actually taken that fleeting
thought quite seriously and I had
started playing tennis at 14 and 15 I
was completely Paralyzed by the thought
of being too old and so I let it deter
me from even trying at all I think about
how much better I would have been had I
started at that time and what
experiences I missed out on not starting
at that time I would have had literally
14 or 15 years of experience in my belt
right now but then I also think about
how amazing it's actually been that I
eventually did start you know had I
thought that you know I was too old at
21 and not started then I would have
missed out on all of these experiences
I've had in the last you know 3 to four
years of playing I've played probably a
few hundred games at least 1 thousand
hours of tennis and it's been pretty
good the main takeaway point from this
is try new things it's not really too
late and when you do try those things
keep doing it and don't stop basically
lesson number three and this is going to
sound cliche but really important
consistency consistency is something
we've heard about over and over again
but it's hard to truly appreciate unless
you know you reflect on its impact into
your own life so for example let me
reflect on it now anytime that I started
something new and I've been consistent
with it amazing things have happened for
example this channel I started with no
editing experience having never gone to
University for it having never attended
some sort of course but after being
consistent I was able to produce great
stories do animations and you know learn
about film making that's one example of
consistency the other side is for
example training training for me has
largely been a failure specifically
weightlifting in the last 10 years I
have tried to be consistent with
weightlifting so many times I'll do it
for 3 4 months and make amazing progress
and then as soon as something comes up
like exam or some sort of life event
training is the first thing that comes
off my to-do list and so you know I
regress backwards and this happened over
and over and over again probably more
than 15 years to be honest and it makes
me think now what would have happened
had I just stayed consistent with it
what sort of insane progress
unimaginable progress would I have made
if I had just stuck with it and having
said all of that it's not too late now
either but there's definitely been a
loss to some of that inconsistency
that's
happened lesson number four everybody
will move on or at least most people I
remember in my younger days although I
don't want to admit it I did have a sort
or a sense of self-consciousness at
times I'll tell myself I don't really
care what people think but there has
been a small element of that regardless
of my age but I feel that I've also
learned that with the caveat that
people's feedback is important and so
what people think of you can be
important at times it does not actually
matter what people think of you most
people will only cross paths with you
for a very short time and there are only
a few whose paths will align with yours
the people who cross paths with you will
form an opinion of you they might not
like the way you dress the way you speak
your religion your values where you're
from and a lot of that will also be
projected onto you and might not even be
true at all on one hand there might
actually be something wrong that you
need to fix you know you might just be a
very rude person and it makes you
dislikable or you have no empathy in
which case that is actually something
that you need to change if you find that
you're always disliked and everyone's
giving you negative feedback all the
time there might actually be a basis to
it but if you find that XY Z person
doesn't like you for whatever reason and
after some proper reflection you come to
the conclusion that there's no actual
valid reason for it then do not hesitate
to fully move on quick time always
working and trying to get everybody to
like you takes away your focus from
actual self-improvement there is a very
fine balance here to be likable is
actually a good thing but to try and be
liked when someone dislikes you for no
valid reason just brings you anxiety and
then you try harder to be liked and you
bend your values and principles which
leads to being more disliked all the
while you'll never see these people in 2
years 5 years or even 10 years instead
focus on becoming a better version of
yourself in the absence of other people
in that equation the people that was
around at 10 years old are not the same
people that was around at 20 years old
who are not the same as those that I'm
around now so remember focus on yourself
and people will just continue moving
on lesson number five establish good
self-care habits when I was around 19 to
20 not 1920 not that old I started
having really bad acne breakouts and at
the time I thought I guess this is just
part of growing up I just accepted it
and decided not to do anything about it
I also thought that you know I shouldn't
really be caring about skin related
stuff anyway this meant that it
continued getting worse because I wasn't
doing anything about it Formed scarring
and there are some scars that to this
day will not go away unless there's some
more invasive intervention and you know
what minor it's not a big deal in the
grand scheme of things but there are
some lessons that you can actually
extract from this example this is
something that could have been easily
and simply prevented and addressed
through a simple skincare routine it
would have treated acne prevented the
acne and so I would have had any
long-term complications at all and this
would have also meant that I would reap
the long-term rewards of having a
consistent skincare routine like you
know stopping sun damage and whatever
this is just one example of how simple
daily habits can prevent long-term
issues and your future self will thank
you for making those decisions today and
as I said this is a minting right we can
extrapolate this example to loads of
other things like for example healthy
eating one of the things that surprised
me when I travel to places like Spain
and Italy the Mediterranean in general
is that you know when you're walking the
street you see some quite elderly people
maybe in their 80s 70s but they look
really well for their age you know
they'd be walking around comfortably
with their shopping bags walking the dog
and you think wow is this 8-year-old
moving around like their 55 this is
contrary to many other places in the
world and and I know this as a medic
these people have lived active
Lifestyles they've been eating much
healthier than other people in other
parts of the world and this has meant
that decades and Decades of a healthy
lifestyle has led to a long-term reward
establishing healthy habits like Diet
exercise hygiene spiritual habits will
not only make you feel good right now
but also make you feel good in the long
term
and now lesson number six see yourself
as average this is something that I've
been implementing for quite some time
and is of the most life-changing
perspectives I've had see the way you
see yourself impacts firstly yourself
but also others and the way they behave
around you in a huge way it affects the
way people treat you because if you see
yourself as not deserving of respect or
good treatment then other people will
test you and they will treat you the way
you accept to be treated on the other
hand if you see yourself as above others
deserving of praise and admiration for
things you haven't done then you'll be
disappointed depressed and hate yourself
and others but if you see yourself as
the same as others no more and no less
then you'll challenge disrespect and
remain humble in the face of failure or
success and in fact I would say it
directly affects your ability to succeed
there's no doubt and it's obvious that
some people are better at certain things
than others or they have the potential
to be better at certain things than
others genetic variation or
socioeconomic background or location or
who you have around you money Etc all
have an impact they all mean that some
people have the advantage over others
some people have the advantage in
athletics or in academics or in
entrepreneurship or manual labor or
whatever but as a general rule variance
amongst people will follow a normal
distribution or otherwise the bell curve
you have a few people at the top and a
few people at the bottom but most people
are in the middle so the question that
comes out of this is how should knowing
this arbitrary fact affect our decision
making for me the answer is it shouldn't
affect it at all and the reason for that
is we don't actually know where we lie
on that curve there's no reliable way of
figuring out where we can plot ourselves
on that curve we don't know if we might
be at the top we don't know if we might
be at the bottom and the most likelihood
is that we'll be somewhere in the middle
with everyone else and so the logical
conclusion from this is that for the
most part the differentiating factor
between all of these people and all of
us in the middle is going to be to name
a few hard work the amount of research
you do your consistency and these are
all things that we can actually have an
impact on things that we can affect and
take control of giving too much weight
to the possibility of being at the top
or being at the bottom of this belt
curve can actually be detrimental take
for example a person who wants to be a
computer scientist and they want to
build this huge app that does amazing
things right if for example they see
themselves as a low IQ individual what
might happen is that they might stop
prematurely or alternatively it might
deter them from trying at all which
means that they will definitely not
reach their full potential if for
example they see themselves as having
been gifted right gifted this ability
from God that they just have a knack for
crunching numbers and solving problems
they may feel like because they've been
gifted they don't need to put in as much
work as everyone else and eventually
years and years down the line they find
themselves stuck in the same position
that they were before and they may find
that even if true that they've been
gifted with some potential they don't
actually reach that potential and
they've held themselves back essentially
this is completely different to the
person who sees themselves in the middle
they'll continue working hard and they
won't be phased by the possibility that
they've reached their limit already and
again they'll work hard despite the
possibility that they've been gifted in
this area and all in all they will just
continue reaching New Heights there is
literally no lost to this mindset it's a
win-win no matter what happens except
that there's a very tiny caveat that we
also need to know when to stop and pivot
our attention and focus to other things
but I think that is a different video
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