The Secret to Being Happy | Jaya Row | TEDxGatewaySalon

Summary

The video script explores the nature of happiness, challenging the notion that it comes from external objects. It suggests happiness is internal, linked to the fulfillment of desires versus the number of desires held. The speaker proposes a formula for happiness and emphasizes reducing desires to increase happiness, ultimately aiming for 'infinite happiness' by recognizing our inherent fullness. The script encourages viewers to upgrade their desires, find joy in the achievements of others, and contribute positively to society for true happiness.

Takeaways

• 😀 Happiness is not found in external objects but within the mind, as the same object can bring pleasure to one person and displeasure to another.
• 🌟 Our pursuit of happiness is often misguided, as we may be chasing after a mirage while the true source of happiness lies elsewhere within ourselves.
• 🍃 Happiness can be mathematically represented as the ratio of fulfilled desires to harbored desires, suggesting that we can increase happiness by either fulfilling more desires or reducing the number of desires we hold.
• 🔄 The paradox of indulgence is that the more we indulge in sense enjoyments, like eating mangoes, the less enjoyment we derive from them, indicating a diminishing return on pleasure.
• 💼 The purpose of work extends beyond profit or paycheck; true fulfillment in work comes from the joy found in the activity itself, as seen in the enthusiasm of athletes like Nadal.
• 👫 Relationships can provide intense happiness, as couples in love may not feel physical discomfort due to the emotional fulfillment they experience, but this too can shift to neurosis over time.
• 🎓 Intellectual pursuits, such as the desire for a PhD, can bring significant joy, but this happiness is not absolute and can be overshadowed by the desire for more.
• 💡 The key to happiness is to focus on reducing desires (the denominator in the happiness formula) rather than just fulfilling more desires (the numerator).
• 🧘‍♂️ True happiness is achieved when desires are reduced to zero, leading to a state of infinite happiness where external additions or subtractions have no impact.
• 🌱 Desires arise from a perceived emptiness in our lives, but this emptiness is not real; we are already 'full' and only need the knowledge of our inherent fullness to be content.
• 🌟 Our true nature is that of 'infinite-aires,' and by recognizing this, we can shift from seeking happiness externally to finding it within ourselves.
• 🤝 The ultimate path to happiness is through adding value to others and working to make others happy, which in turn brings us true fulfillment and joy.

Q & A

What is the central theme of the speech?

The central theme of the speech is the exploration of happiness and how it is not found in external objects but within the mind, and the concept that reducing desires can lead to increased happiness.

What is the analogy used to explain the intermittent nature of happiness?

The analogy of eating chocolate with foil is used to explain that happiness can be enjoyed but is periodically interrupted by bouts of sorrow, similar to the foil in the chocolate.

What is the main formula presented for achieving happiness?

The main formula presented for achieving happiness is Happiness = Number of desires fulfilled / Number of desires harbored.

How does the speaker suggest we can increase our happiness?

The speaker suggests that we can increase our happiness by either increasing the number of desires fulfilled or, more effectively, by decreasing the number of desires we harbor.

What are the four avenues through which people typically seek happiness according to the script?

The four avenues through which people typically seek happiness are sense enjoyment, action, relationships, and intellectual pursuits.

Why does the enjoyment from eating mangoes diminish over time?

The enjoyment from eating mangoes diminishes over time due to the law of diminishing returns, where the more you indulge, the less you enjoy.

What is the difference between the way people go to work on a Monday morning and how Nadal feels when he goes out to play?

The difference lies in the motivation and fulfillment behind their actions. People going to work may not look excited as they might be driven by profit or paycheck, while Nadal is ecstatic because he is doing what he loves and enjoys.

How do relationships contribute to the feeling of happiness as per the script?

Relationships contribute to happiness by providing emotional thrills that can make physical inconveniences seem insignificant, as illustrated by couples not feeling the heat or discomfort on Marine Drive because they are in love.

What is the concept of 'infinite-aires' mentioned in the script?

The concept of 'infinite-aires' refers to the idea that we are all inherently complete and full, but we are ignorant of this reality and instead go out seeking fulfillment from external objects.

How does the speaker suggest we reduce our desires?

The speaker suggests that we reduce our desires by picking a higher desire, as our desires naturally evolve and grow as we mature, leading to the abandonment of lesser desires.

What is the final piece of advice given by the speaker for achieving true happiness?

The final piece of advice given by the speaker is to upgrade our desires, identify with larger entities such as family or nation, and work to make others happy, as this is when we will truly be happy.