Be a Loser if Need Be | The Philosophy of Epictetus

Summary

This video script explores the concept of being a 'loser' through the lens of Stoic philosophy, particularly the teachings of Epictetus. It challenges the societal focus on external achievements like wealth and fame, arguing these are insignificant compared to inner qualities such as contentment and tranquility. The script encourages viewers to let go of the fear of being seen as a loser and to prioritize personal happiness and freedom over external validation, suggesting that true success lies in achieving a state of bliss unaffected by the unreliable whims of external circumstances.

Takeaways

• 📚 Stoicism, as taught by Epictetus, values inner peace and happiness over external achievements like wealth and fame.
• 🤔 The fear of being seen as a 'loser' can lead to a life of suffering in pursuit of others' approval and societal validation.
• 💡 Success and competence are subjective and change with societal norms, culture, and personal perspectives.
• 🔑 Epictetus encourages letting go of 'lesser things' for a chance to achieve a state of bliss unaffected by external circumstances.
• 🏆 The societal definition of a 'loser' is linked to the failure to acquire external things, especially money and fame.
• 🏠 For some, success is a small business or a happy family, while for others, it's fame or social media following.
• 😅 Being labeled a 'loser' can be a double blow, implying both failure and ridicule.
• 🎯 Epictetus argues that true success lies in pursuing what is within our control, such as contentment and tranquility.
• 💭 Our perception of external objects often makes them desirable, rather than their inherent value.
• 🏁 The pursuit of external goods can lead to a loss of freedom and happiness, as they are unreliable and can be taken away.
• 🧘‍♂️ Epictetus suggests that being willing to be seen as a 'loser' in society's eyes can be beneficial for achieving inner peace and freedom.

Q & A

What is the main perspective of the video script on the concept of being a 'loser'?

The script suggests that being a 'loser' is not inherently negative. It emphasizes the Stoic philosophy of Epictetus, which values inner qualities and peace over external achievements and societal approval.

According to Epictetus, what are the things that are truly worth living for?

Epictetus believed that the things truly worth living for are inner qualities such as contentment, joy, right action, tranquility, and the power of restraint, rather than external achievements like wealth and fame.

Why does the script argue that the fear of being seen as a 'loser' can be detrimental?

The script argues that the fear of being seen as a 'loser' can lead to suffering and dependence on external validation, which ultimately gambles away our chances of true happiness and freedom.

What does Epictetus mean by 'lesser things' that we must be willing to let go of?

By 'lesser things,' Epictetus refers to external goods and societal achievements that are beyond our control and can be taken away easily, suggesting that we should prioritize inner qualities and peace over these.

How does the script define 'competence' and 'success', and why are they subjective?

The script defines 'competence' and 'success' as being in the eye of the beholder, suggesting that what one person considers competent or successful may differ from another's perspective, making these concepts subjective and dependent on individual and societal values.

What is the script's view on the pursuit of material possessions, extreme wealth, or Instagram fame?

The script views the pursuit of material possessions, extreme wealth, or Instagram fame as an unreliable path to happiness, as these are external and can be taken away quickly, and the pursuit often comes with significant personal sacrifices.

What does Epictetus suggest is the difference between how we perceive external objects and their true nature?

Epictetus suggests that the desirability of external objects comes not from their inherent nature but from our perception and judgment of them. He implies that it is our mental representation that makes them special, not their objective reality.

How does the script relate the concept of 'being a loser' to societal expectations and consumerist culture?

The script relates 'being a loser' to not conforming to societal expectations and consumerist culture, where success is often defined by the acquisition of money, fame, and other external markers of status.

What is the script's stance on the importance of public praise and reputation?

The script, following Epictetus, views public praise and reputation as fickle, unreliable, and often worthless, suggesting that they should not be the primary focus of one's life.

What advice does Epictetus give regarding the pursuit of inner peace and happiness?

Epictetus advises that to achieve inner peace and happiness, one should prioritize things within their control, such as personal virtues and attitudes, over external achievements and societal recognition.

How does the script suggest one should respond to being called a 'loser' by others?

The script suggests that one should respond by recognizing that being called a 'loser' is a matter of others' opinions, which are often based on superficial and external criteria, and not necessarily reflective of one's true worth or inner well-being.

Outlines

00:00

🤔 Redefining 'Loser' Through Stoic Philosophy

This paragraph explores the concept of being a 'loser' and challenges the societal norms that define success and failure. It introduces Stoic philosopher Epictetus, who believed that true success lies in internal virtues rather than external achievements. The paragraph discusses the fear of being seen as a 'loser' and how this fear can lead to a life of dependence on external validation. It emphasizes the importance of letting go of 'lesser things' and suggests that being a 'loser' in the eyes of society could be a price worth paying for inner peace and freedom. The paragraph also mentions a book, 'Stoicism for Inner Peace,' which contains more Stoic wisdom.

05:01

🏅 The Fickleness of Public Praise and the Pursuit of True Happiness

The second paragraph delves into the sacrifices one must make to achieve public recognition, using the example of an Olympic athlete. It questions the value of such sacrifices and contrasts them with the Stoic belief in pursuing inner qualities like contentment and tranquility. Epictetus is quoted to emphasize that only things within our control are worth pursuing, and the rest should be considered secondary. The paragraph also discusses the difference between the perception of external objects and their true nature, urging us to question the societal herd mentality that equates being a 'loser' with failure.

10:02

💡 The Price of Freedom: Choosing Philosophy Over Vulgarity

In the final paragraph, the discussion centers around the costs associated with different life choices, highlighting the trade-offs between pursuing external validation and seeking inner peace. It presents Epictetus' view that a true philosopher prioritizes happiness and freedom over material wealth and social status. The paragraph uses quotes from Epictetus to illustrate the idea that being willing to lose everything external can lead to an unconquerable mental state. It concludes by suggesting that being labeled a 'loser' by others might actually be advantageous, as it frees one from the pressures of conforming to societal expectations.

Keywords

💡Loser

The term 'loser' is defined by Merriam-Webster as a person who is incompetent or unable to succeed. In the context of the video, it is a label often associated with societal failure to attain conventional markers of success like wealth and fame. The video challenges this notion by suggesting that being seen as a 'loser' by societal standards does not necessarily equate to a lack of personal fulfillment or happiness, as per the teachings of Epictetus.

💡Epictetus

Epictetus was a Stoic philosopher whose teachings are central to the video's message. He emphasized that true happiness comes from within and is not dependent on external achievements or the opinions of others. The script uses his philosophy to argue that the pursuit of external validation can lead to a loss of inner peace and freedom, and that being willing to be seen as a 'loser' in the eyes of society can be a path to true contentment.

💡Success

Success in the video is portrayed as a subjective concept that varies greatly depending on individual perspectives and societal standards. It is often tied to external achievements, but the video suggests that this conventional definition of success can be limiting and may not lead to true happiness. Epictetus' philosophy posits that success should be redefined to include inner qualities like contentment and tranquility.

💡Wealth and Fame

Wealth and fame are presented in the script as societal benchmarks for success. However, they are also depicted as 'lesser things' according to Epictetus, which are transient and unreliable sources of happiness. The video implies that an overemphasis on these external markers can lead to a loss of freedom and inner peace, which are more valuable according to Stoic philosophy.

💡Inner Peace

Inner peace is a key concept in the video, representing a state of contentment and tranquility that is independent of external circumstances. It is contrasted with the pursuit of wealth and fame, which are seen as sources of temporary satisfaction. The video suggests that inner peace is a more reliable and enduring form of happiness, aligning with Epictetus' teachings.

💡Freedom

Freedom in the context of the video refers to the liberation from the constraints of societal expectations and the pursuit of external validation. It is closely tied to the concept of inner peace and is seen as a state that can be achieved by letting go of the need for approval and material possessions. Epictetus' philosophy encourages embracing this freedom as a path to true happiness.

💡Stoicism

Stoicism is a school of philosophy that emphasizes self-control, rationality, and the acceptance of things that are beyond our control. The video uses Stoic principles, particularly those of Epictetus, to argue that happiness and fulfillment are internal states that are not contingent on external achievements or societal approval.

💡Pursuit

The pursuit in the video refers to the relentless chase after societally defined goals such as wealth, fame, and social validation. It is depicted as a potentially futile and self-defeating endeavor that can overshadow the acquisition of more profound and enduring inner qualities like contentment and tranquility.

💡Opinions of Others

The opinions of others are portrayed as transient, unreliable, and often delusional in the video. They are seen as external factors that can influence one's self-perception and happiness negatively. The video encourages viewers to become indifferent to these opinions in the pursuit of inner peace and true freedom.

💡Happiness

Happiness in the video is presented as an internal state that is not dependent on external achievements or the approval of others. It is closely associated with the Stoic concept of contentment and is posited as a more meaningful and sustainable form of joy than the fleeting pleasures derived from material possessions or social status.

💡Contempt

Contempt in the video is used to describe an attitude of indifference or disregard towards things that are beyond one's control, such as wealth, fame, and the opinions of others. It is presented as a necessary mindset for achieving inner peace and freedom, as per Epictetus' teachings.

Highlights

The concept of 'being a loser' is subjective and varies with societal views on success and competence.

Stoic philosopher Epictetus emphasizes the insignificance of wealth and fame compared to internal values.

Epictetus suggests that the fear of being seen as a loser leads to suffering for external validation.

External goods are unreliable and can lead to dependency, hindering true happiness and freedom.

Epictetus advocates letting go of 'lesser things' for a blissful state unaffected by external circumstances.

The video explores an alternative perspective on life's importance beyond societal definitions of success.

The book 'Stoicism for Inner Peace' offers further insights into Stoic philosophy for personal tranquility.

Competence and success are fluid concepts, changing with social, cultural, and religious contexts.

Consumerist and capitalist societies often link 'loserdom' with the lack of money and fame.

Being labeled a 'loser' can imply ridicule and a perceived failure to meet societal expectations.

Epictetus questions the desirability of material possessions and external fame for true happiness.

The pursuit of wealth and fame is unreliable and comes with significant personal sacrifices.

Epictetus distinguishes between external appearances and true inner qualities, which are more valuable.

He argues that only inner qualities like contentment and tranquility are within our control and worth pursuing.

Epictetus encourages viewing societal labels like 'loser' with indifference to achieve inner peace.

The transcript challenges the notion that being a 'loser' is inherently negative, suggesting it could lead to freedom.

Epictetus' philosophy suggests that prioritizing inner well-being over external validation can lead to true happiness.

The transcript concludes by emphasizing the importance of wisdom and strength in choosing what truly benefits one's life.

Transcripts

Is being a loser a bad thing?

It depends on how you look at it.

Stoic philosopher Epictetus said some valuable things about what we generally pursue in life.

Achievements that today’s society views as hallmarks of success, like wealth and fame,

Epictetus saw as insignificant compared to the things that are truly worth living for

and can only be found within.

He observed that the ongoing pursuit of achievement and validation withholds us from acquiring

something far superior: a blissful state unchanged by the whims of the unreliable outside circumstances,

including the opinions of others.

But we’re so afraid to be seen as losers that we're willing to suffer in exchange for

other people’s approval.

What a sad state of being in, as by putting our money on external goods, we become dependent

on them and gamble away our chances of being happy and free.

According to Epictetus, we must be willing to let go of what he called “lesser things.”

And if that means that we become total losers in the eyes of society, then that’s a price

worth paying.

This video doesn’t advocate for neglecting oneself or self-harm: quite the contrary,

from a Stoic point of view.

It explores the philosophy of Epictetus, showing a different way to determine what’s important

in life, the concept of “being a loser,” and why being “seen” as a loser doesn’t

have to be a bad thing.

By the way, you’ll find more Stoic wisdom in this book - Stoicism for Inner Peace - which

contains my collected works on remaining calm and focused.

You’ll find a link in the description.

What is a loser?

The Merriam-Webster dictionary provides us with a definition that fits the subject of

this video, and I quote:

: a person who is incompetent or unable to succeed

End quote.

But competence and success are in the eye of the beholder.

When is someone competent?

Some people would regard a person as competent, while others would see that same person as

incompetent.

The same goes for success.

When is someone successful?

Building and running a small business like a hair salon is a success for many people.

For others, success means putting people on another planet.

The definitions of competence and success are continuously changing with the zeitgeist,

depending on certain social atmospheres and sectors of the population and also on culture

and religion.

So, the concept of being a “loser” is pretty fluid, vague, and fundamentally means

nothing more than what other people make of it.

However, suppose we put this idea of “loserdom” in the context of today’s consumerist, capitalist

societies.

In that case, we see that it’s deeply linked to acquiring external things, especially money

and fame.

People have a specific overall picture of what they need to be complete, which varies

across the board.

For many, it’s a well-paying job, a good-looking partner, the 2.3 kids, and the white picket

fence.

For others, this picture includes having a large following on social media and a large,

interesting social circle that serves as proof of desirability.

And what if you don’t comply with the overall picture?

Then you’re a loser.

You’re incompetent of acquiring what’s generally desired and thus, unable to succeed

in life.

Tragically enough, being a loser is a double whammy.

It means that you not just failed in the eyes of others but also that you’re ridiculed

because of it.

But how desirable is it to have what we ought to have in the first place?

And how bad is it to be ridiculed if we don’t have it?

Here’s where Epictetus comes in.

What is it that we want?

What makes material possessions, extreme wealth, or Instagram fame so appealing?

Simply put, it’s their promise of happiness that makes us want to pursue them.

We fantasize about a world in which boatloads of people adore us while enjoying cocktails

on the beach, raking in the comments and likes on our social media pages.

How great this must feel.

And for a while, such a life may be great, but eventually, we’ll get used to it and

return to our baseline happiness, which now comes with a much bigger price tag.

Epictetus didn’t hold these external goods in high regard.

He described them as weak, slavish, and, most importantly, beyond our control.

In chasing things like wealth and fame, we pursue the unreliable, as we chase what can

be taken away in a heartbeat.

Also, the pursuit of these things comes with a significant cost: a price that many are

willing to pay, but they sacrifice a lot doing so.

As an example, he uses someone who wants to “conquer at the Olympic games,” which

is, today, still a pursuit that, if one succeeds, generates lots of respect.

But he also urges us to consider the sacrifice we have to make and the extent to which this

benefits us.

I quote:

You must conform to rules, submit to a diet, refrain from dainties; exercise your body,

whether you choose it or not, at a stated hour, in heat and cold; you must drink no

cold water, nor sometimes even wine.

In a word, you must give yourself up to your master, as to a physician.

Then, in the combat, you may be thrown into a ditch, dislocate your arm, turn your ankle,

swallow dust, be whipped, and, after all, lose the victory.

End quote.

So, is this worth it?

Is it wise to undergo such toil, just for, as Marcus Aurelius put it, “a clacking of

tongues?”

Especially if we think public praise is fickle and can change into public shame in the blink

of an eye?

“These things are not consistent,” said Epictetus.

And he emphasized that only things within our control are worth pursuing, which are

inner qualities like contentment, joy, right action, tranquility, and the power of restraint.

The rest is overrated and belongs on the backburner.

Epictetus repeatedly distinguishes between what things are and the appearance we have

of them in our minds.

For example, he tells us that there’s a difference between how we see our loved ones

and what they truly are.

Even though a man sees his wife and children as unique and desirable above all other wives

and children, they’re still just human beings like everyone else.

How they appear in our minds makes them special to us, not what they are in themselves, without

our judgment.

We can apply this logic to everything external.

What makes the object we chase so desirable?

Is it the object in itself?

Or is it the way we perceive that object?

We are often and unsurprisingly a flock of sheep that want what they want simply because

everyone else wants it.

Also, we don’t want what everyone else doesn’t want, which is being a loser.

Now, not that it’s inherently wrong to want what others want.

In many cases, what the majority pursues can be beneficial regarding health and well-being.

But in many other cases, it’s not.

And it takes some wisdom and common sense to determine if we’re better off not pursuing

what everyone else seeks.

Epictetus prioritized a state of happiness and freedom over anything else and stated

that we should be willing to quit the things that impede it.

If that means that we are losers in the eyes of others, then so be it.

What’s so bad about being a loser?

Is it truly an unfortunate fate?

Or do we perceive it as unfortunate because others make it so?

Let’s say we’ve got enough to satisfy our basic needs, but we have pretty much nothing

going on in all other areas of life.

We don’t have interesting social circles, we don’t have partners, we have no social

media followers, and the jobs we work aren’t great or unique.

Consequently, people call us losers, implying that we are somehow less than those who utter

this observation.

Being perceived as ‘less’ by others frightens people, as it’s a direct attack on their

egos: the stories they tell themselves about themselves.

But is one truly less because he lacks certain external circumstances?

Is someone rich and famous better than someone poor and unknown?

According to Epictetus’ logic, such reasoning is pretty nonsensical.

I quote:

These reasonings are unconnected: “I am richer than you, therefore I am better”;

“I am more eloquent than you, therefore I am better.”

The connection is rather this: “I am richer than you, therefore my property is greater

than yours;” “I am more eloquent than you, therefore my style is better than yours.”

But you, after all, are neither property nor style.

End quote.

Our outside circumstances don’t say much about our inner well-being, which is truly

important from a Stoic point of view.

Yet, we find them very important, so much so that we’re willing to sacrifice our happiness

and freedom to be seen as ‘sufficient’ and not as ‘less’ by the masses.

So, again, being a loser isn’t a bad thing in itself.

It’s what we make of it.

If we see things like public praise, reputation, and the estimation of others, just as they

are, namely: opinions that are fickle, unreliable, often worthless, based on delusion and false

appearances, and totally beyond our control, we may find it easier to become indifferent

to them.

Then, we’ll realize that being a loser is not terrible.

Being a loser doesn’t hinder our ability to be happy and free; trying so hard not to

be, does.

I quote:

Let death and exile, and all other things which appear terrible, be daily before your

eyes, but death chiefly; and you will never entertain any abject thought, nor too eagerly

covet anything.

End quote.

No matter what direction we decide to go, we’ll have to pay the price nonetheless.

The question is: what price are we willing to pay?

Epictetus makes a clear distinction between these two options, as he stated: “Be either

a philosopher or one of the vulgar.”

Being vulgar (the option most people choose) comes with a cost: our inner well-being.

We pay the price required to attain what’s considered desirable, like wealth and praise,

meaning that we exchange our freedom, health, and inner peace, to participate in the rat

race and to keep up with the Joneses.

Being a philosopher means that we pay the price of probably not having, or at least

not pursuing, what the vulgar want.

So, it’s very likely that we live a very sober, obscure, simplistic lifestyle, devoid

of external pleasure: in the eyes of many, the archetypical loser.

But, according to Epictetus, a true philosopher always puts inner peace and happiness above

everything else, even work, money, and hunger.

I quote:

If you want to improve, reject such reasonings as these: “If I neglect my affairs, I'll

have no income; if I don’t correct my servant, he will be bad.”

For it is better to die with hunger, exempt from grief and fear, than to live in affluence

with perturbation; and it is better your servant should be bad, than you unhappy.

End quote.

But although this may sound a tad extreme, Epictetus is leastwise consistent in prioritizing

what he thinks is truly valuable.

To be unconquerable by anything, we must be willing to lose everything.

Anything external we hold on to, even the most minor thing, automatically wields power

over our mental state.

Leaving all this behind is a tough road, with many obstacles, little external recompense,

and even loss and resistance.

I quote:

You’ll have to forego your ease, work hard, leave people behind, be despised by menials,

be laughed at, and get crumbs at best when it comes to recognition and position – in

all affairs.

Consider these costs, and see if you’re willing to pay them to gain peace, freedom

and tranquillity.

If you’re not willing, stay away from philosophy.

End quote.

So, you’re a loser in other people’s eyes?

Are you laughed at and even despised?

At first sight, this might seem a terrible thing.

The reputation of being a loser looks like a weak and pitiful position.

But it also has its advantages, namely, that we don’t conform to other people’s rules

and maintain the energy that we would’ve otherwise spent on what Epictetus called “lesser

things,” just to be seen as sufficient.

In short, being a loser comes with the benefit of ‘not paying the price for not being one.’

And, ironically enough, that could make a loser a winner.

Drawing from Epictetus’ words, one must have the wisdom to decide what’s truly beneficial

and the strength to stick with that consistently, with a disregard for things like praise, riches,

power, and social standing.

As he stated: “(..) don’t wish to be a general, or a senator, or a consul, but to

be free; and the only way to this is a contempt of things not in our own control.”

Thank you for watching.