If He's Sending Mixed Signals, Text Him THIS

Summary

This video script addresses the perplexing situation where a person feels intensely connected and showered with attention when physically with someone, yet experiences neglect and lack of communication when apart. The speaker outlines common mistakes people make in response to such behavior, emphasizing the difference between receiving attention and genuine romantic intention. They provide two specific text messages to help viewers navigate and potentially improve these relationships, advocating for clear communication and setting standards to avoid being stuck in a cycle of inconsistent connection.

Takeaways

• 🔥 The difference between attention and intention: Attention is temporary and based on convenience, while intention involves a long-term vision for a romantic relationship.
• 🚫 Recognizing red flags: Going 'hot and cold' indicates a lack of interest in making romantic progress and is a sign of prioritizing other aspects of life over the relationship.
• 🤔 Avoid mirroring behavior: Mimicking the inconsistent behavior of a partner can reinforce a cycle of inattention and may attract the wrong type of person.
• 💬 Importance of direct communication: Communicating feelings and expectations can help educate a partner on why their behavior is problematic and what is desired.
• 📉 Risk of playing 'cool': Trying to appear uninterested or 'cool' can attract the wrong partners and deter those who are genuinely interested in a deep relationship.
• 📝 Crafting the right message: When responding to a partner who has been distant, use a matter-of-fact tone that expresses surprise and a lack of closeness due to their behavior.
• 🤝 Emphasizing empathy: Acknowledge the partner's busy life while also expressing the importance of consistency and connection in a relationship.
• 💡 Valuing consistency: Explicitly state the value of consistent communication and connection, which is often lacking in a hot and cold dynamic.
• 💪 Being prepared for the outcome: Before sending a message that sets boundaries, ensure you are ready to accept any outcome, including the loss of the relationship.
• 🛑 Deciding your role: Determine whether you want to be a casual part of someone's life or the person who sets standards that are worth living up to.

Q & A

What is the main issue discussed in the video script?

The main issue discussed is the emotional inconsistency someone might experience in a relationship, where they feel a strong connection when together but are neglected when apart, leading to a 'hot and cold' dynamic.

What is the difference between 'attention' and 'intention' as mentioned in the script?

Attention refers to someone giving focus or interest in the moment, seeking a romantic experience without necessarily planning for the future. Intention, on the other hand, involves a deeper commitment and a vision for building a romantic relationship with progress and continuity.

Why is the 'hot and cold' behavior considered a red flag in relationships?

It's a red flag because it indicates that the person is interested in the romantic experience but not in making progress in the relationship, suggesting they may prioritize other aspects of their life over the romantic connection.

What is the second mistake people often make in response to the 'hot and cold' behavior?

The second mistake is mirroring the person's behavior by also going cold, which can either play into the hands of someone who enjoys the game of attraction and withdrawal or attract the wrong type of person who is energized by such a dynamic.

What is the recommended approach to dealing with someone who exhibits 'hot and cold' behavior?

The recommended approach is to withdraw attention but with direct communication about the dissatisfaction with their behavior, using the opportunity to educate them on why the withdrawal is happening.

Why is it important to communicate feelings in such a situation instead of playing 'cool'?

Communicating feelings is important because it reveals vulnerability, integrity, and character, which can attract the right kind of person who is looking for a genuine and deep relationship. Playing 'cool' can attract the wrong individuals and make the person invisible to those who desire a meaningful connection.

What should be the response if someone who has been distant suddenly expresses a desire to see you?

The response should express surprise and a sense of distance, acknowledging the lack of recent closeness and suggesting an assumption that both parties are not on the same page regarding the relationship.

How should one respond if the distant person provides excuses for their behavior?

One should acknowledge the excuses with empathy but also communicate their own values, such as consistency, and express the feeling of disconnect when apart, without pointing fingers or blaming.

What is the purpose of the text messages provided in the script?

The purpose of the text messages is to serve as a tool for clear communication, expressing feelings and expectations, and to potentially educate the other person on the need for consistency and commitment in the relationship.

What is the 'Momentum Texts' program mentioned at the end of the script?

The 'Momentum Texts' program is a resource designed to help individuals move their dating situations forward, providing strategies to avoid getting stuck in casual phases of dating or endless texting without progress.