Pourquoi j'attire toujours les mauvais hommes ?

Summary

In this coaching video, relationship expert Alex Corman offers advice to women struggling with attracting the wrong type of man. He discusses the importance of self-worth, shifting the focus from trying to please men to expecting them to fight for affection. Corman emphasizes avoiding early emotional investment, maintaining independence, and trusting one’s instincts. He also cautions against being swept up in grand gestures too soon, as they may reflect superficial attraction rather than genuine love. Ultimately, Corman encourages women to take control of their love lives, prioritize their happiness, and avoid toxic relationships.

Takeaways

• 😀 Women often attract the wrong men due to ingrained patterns and societal education about love.
• 😀 The first step to changing this pattern is to stop asking 'What can I do to please him?' and instead focus on making him work to win you over.
• 😀 Projection is a common issue: women tend to imagine a future with a man too quickly, which makes it easier for men to lose interest.
• 😀 Men are natural 'hunters,' and when a woman becomes too emotionally invested too soon, the man loses the challenge and stops pursuing her.
• 😀 It is essential for women to maintain their own lives and not let their relationships define their entire existence. This prevents unhealthy dependence and control.
• 😀 The hope that someone can change, especially when their behavior is already negative, is a dangerous mistake. Listen to your intuition.
• 😀 Happiness in love should not be postponed. If someone doesn't meet your standards now, they are unlikely to change, so don't accept less than you deserve.
• 😀 Over-the-top gestures from a man early in a relationship can signal instability, not genuine affection. Beware of men who move too fast.
• 😀 When a man moves quickly in a relationship—like proposing or planning trips early—it may reflect his desire to impress rather than a deep connection.
• 😀 To attract a healthy relationship, focus on actions, not words. If someone shows inconsistency or makes unrealistic promises early on, be cautious.

Q & A

What is the core message that Alex is conveying to women in this video?

The core message is that women need to stop putting men on a pedestal and start valuing themselves. They should stop constantly trying to please men and instead focus on making men work for their attention and affection.

Why does Alex emphasize the concept of 'inverting the situation' in relationships?

Alex emphasizes 'inverting the situation' to remind women that they should not chase after men or seek validation from them. Instead, they should position themselves as the prize, requiring men to earn their affection.

What is meant by the idea of 'projection' in relationships?

Projection refers to the tendency of women to quickly imagine a future with a man, often based on limited interactions. This emotional investment can lead to an imbalance, where the man doesn't need to do much to win her over.

How does Alex suggest women should approach emotional investment in relationships?

Alex suggests that women should maintain their personal lives and interests outside of the relationship. Over-investing emotionally too early can lead to dependency and unhealthy dynamics, especially with men who may not have genuine intentions.

What is the danger of hope and the expectation that a man will change?

Alex warns that holding onto hope that a man will change, especially when he exhibits toxic behaviors, is a mistake. Women should listen to their intuition and act when they notice red flags, rather than waiting for him to improve.

Why does Alex warn against paying too much attention to what a man says in the beginning?

Alex points out that early declarations of commitment, such as marriage proposals or grand gestures, can often be superficial. A man who is too quick to make these moves may be more interested in the image he has of the woman rather than a genuine, lasting relationship.

What is the relationship between emotional investment and self-worth in attracting the right man?

Emotional investment should be balanced with self-respect and self-worth. Alex emphasizes that women need to stop seeking validation through men and instead recognize their own value, ensuring they don’t settle for less than they deserve.

How can women avoid falling into unhealthy relationship patterns?

Women can avoid these patterns by setting boundaries, not rushing into emotional investment, and keeping their independence. They should be cautious when a man is moving too fast, as it could indicate ulterior motives.

What role does intuition play in relationships according to Alex?

Intuition is crucial. Alex believes that women often know when a man is not right for them or when a relationship is unhealthy. Trusting this intuition and taking action early on can prevent emotional pain and help women avoid toxic relationships.

Why does Alex advocate for women to be cautious when men make grand gestures early in the relationship?

Alex warns that grand gestures too soon, like quick marriage proposals or lavish trips, can be a sign of instability. They may reflect the man's desire to impress rather than a true commitment to the relationship. Women should look for consistency and sincerity over flashy acts.