What The Ultimate Study On Happiness Reveals

Summary

本视频探讨了幸福人生的要素，包括财富、成功事业和人际关系的重要性。研究发现，虽然许多人认为金钱和职业成功是幸福的关键，但长期研究显示，良好的人际关系对健康和幸福有更大的影响。保持身体健康和积极参与社交活动，被证明可以延长寿命并提高生活质量。视频强调，即使在现代社会中人们越来越孤立，培养和维护亲密关系对于实现幸福生活至关重要。

Takeaways

• 💰 金钱和财富是许多人认为对幸福生活至关重要的因素。
• 💼 成功的职业生涯和经济财富对人们很重要，但并非所有人都有一个具体的目标数字。
• 🔍 研究表明，人们并不擅长判断什么会让他们真正感到幸福。
• 🎉 中大奖如彩票可能会带来短暂的幸福感，但长期来看，许多人并不会比普通人更快乐。
• 🧠 人们的记忆不可靠，这影响了对幸福因素的研究，因为记忆往往会重构。
• 📚 哈佛成人发展研究是一项长期研究，自1938年以来一直在追踪人们的生活，以了解什么使人们幸福。
• 🏥 良好的身体健康对长寿和健康生活至关重要，包括合理饮食、规律运动和避免不良习惯。
• 👫 人际关系不仅让我们更快乐，还让我们更健康，有助于延长寿命。
• ❤️ 高质量的亲密关系比婚姻状况或社交网络的广度更为重要。
• 🚫 孤独感对健康有害，与吸烟或肥胖等其他风险因素的危害相当。
• 💔 社会孤立和孤独感正在增加，这已成为一个全球性的健康问题。
• 🏃‍♂️ 适度的体育活动可以显著降低死亡风险并延长寿命。
• 🧘‍♀️ 能够独处并感到满足是一种技能，但即使是喜欢独处的人也需要人际关系。
• 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 当人们回顾生活时，他们最自豪的是与家人、朋友和社区的关系，而不是职业成就或财富。
• 💼 工作成就和金钱并不直接导致幸福，但有意义的工作可以。
• 💵 根据研究，年收入达到一定水平后，更高的收入并不会显著提高情感幸福感。
• 🤝 人际关系是幸福感和身体健康的重要预测因素，应该被视为一种可以培养的实践。

Q & A

视频中讨论的最重要的问题是什么？

视频中讨论的最重要的问题是：什么导致了一个幸福的生活？

视频中提到的人们普遍认为什么可以带来幸福？

视频中提到，许多人认为金钱和财富是带来幸福的重要因素。

2018年的调查显示，大约多少比例的大学新生希望变得富有？

2018年的调查显示，大约83%的大学新生希望变得富有。

哈佛成人发展研究开始于哪一年，并且它主要研究什么？

哈佛成人发展研究开始于1938年，主要研究人类发展、心理健康和身体健康。

哈佛成人发展研究最初是如何开始的？

哈佛成人发展研究最初是由两组哈佛研究者分别开始的两项独立研究，一项跟踪268名哈佛年轻男性，另一项跟踪波士顿最贫困家庭的456名男孩。

哈佛研究中发现，哪两个因素对幸福和健康生活至关重要？

哈佛研究发现，照顾好身体健康和拥有高质量的人际关系对幸福和健康生活至关重要。

根据哈佛研究，照顾好身体健康为什么对长寿有益？

因为良好的身体健康习惯如合理饮食、规律运动、不吸烟不酗酒以及预防性医疗保健等，可以延长寿命并保持健康。

孤独感对健康有哪些潜在的危害？

孤独感被证明与多种健康问题有关，包括增加心脏病和中风的风险，以及可能加速认知衰退和增加患痴呆症的风险。

视频中提到的BetterHelp是做什么的？

BetterHelp是一个在线平台，它连接用户与经验丰富的持牌治疗师，提供电话、视频聊天或消息交流形式的咨询服务。

哈佛研究中，人们在80多岁时最自豪和最后悔的是什么？

在哈佛研究中，人们在80多岁时最自豪的是与他们的关系有关的事项，例如成为一个好的老板、父母、朋友或导师。而最大的遗憾是很多人表示他们应该少工作，多花时间与他们关心的人在一起。

根据哈佛研究，金钱和成就是否真正使我们幸福？

根据哈佛研究，金钱和成就可以是幸福的一部分，但更重要的是有意义的工作和深入的人际关系。

为什么人们很难意识到关系对幸福的重要性？

人们很难意识到关系的重要性，因为关系像我们呼吸的空气一样，是自我们记事前就存在的，我们往往认为它们是理所当然的，而不是有意识去培养以增加幸福感。

Outlines

00:00

💰 财富与幸福的关系探讨

视频首先提出了一个关键问题：什么能带来幸福的生活？多数人认为金钱和财富是幸福的重要组成部分。视频中提到，许多人认为拥有财富和成功事业是重要的，但同时也指出人们通常不擅长判断什么能让自己真正幸福。例如，中彩票似乎应该让人幸福，但研究表明，许多彩票得主在最初的幸福感消退后，并不比普通人更幸福。此外，人们的记忆不可靠，通常只能记住经历中的片段，这被称为重构记忆，这影响了对幸福因素的研究。

05:01

🧬 长期研究揭示幸福与健康的秘密

视频介绍了自1938年以来一直在进行的一项长期研究，这是关于人类发展的最长研究。研究最初由两组哈佛研究人员独立进行，一组跟踪哈佛学生，另一组跟踪波士顿最贫困家庭的孩子。这些研究最终合并为哈佛成人发展研究。研究显示，良好的身体健康和照顾自己的方式对长寿和健康至关重要。例如，规律运动可以显著降低死亡风险并延长寿命。此外，良好的人际关系不仅让我们更快乐，还让我们更健康，寿命更长。

10:01

👫 人际关系对健康和幸福的重要性

视频强调了人际关系对健康和幸福的重要性。研究表明，拥有更强社交联系的人在任何给定年份的存活可能性增加了50%。婚姻尤其对寿命有显著影响，已婚人士通常比未婚人士活得更久。然而，孤独感和社交隔离对健康有严重的负面影响，孤独感的危险程度与每天吸半包烟或肥胖相当。社交关系不佳与心脏病和中风的风险增加有关。

15:03

🏠 重视关系投资：幸福与健康的基石

视频讨论了现代社会中人际关系投资的重要性。研究表明，与亲人共度时光对于防止由于孤独和社交隔离引起的健康问题至关重要。良好的人际关系可以调节情绪和压力，帮助身体从压力中恢复。孤立的人可能长时间处于应激状态，导致慢性炎症和皮质醇水平升高，这会逐渐损害身体系统。因此，与亲人共度时光是保持健康和幸福的关键。

20:03

🤔 反思现代生活中的社交趋势

视频指出，现代社会中人们与朋友的社交互动时间从2003年的每天60分钟减少到2020年的20分钟。技术改变了人们的交流方式，线上连接往往取代了更丰富的面对面交流。尽管内向者可能不需要太多的社交刺激，但人类连接是必不可少的。研究表明，孤独感和社交隔离都增加了早逝的风险。哈佛研究表明，最幸福的人是那些投入于与伴侣、朋友、家人和社区的关系中的人。

💡 建立和维护人际关系的建议

视频最后给出了关于如何建立和维护人际关系的建议。建议人们将关系视为一种日常实践，就像身体锻炼一样，需要持续的努力和投入。那些在关系中表现最好的人是那些日复一日、周复一周地与他们关心的人保持联系的人。视频鼓励观众不要放弃生活中的这一方面，因为关系可以在任何年龄发生变化，而且许多变化是积极的。

Keywords

💡幸福

幸福是视频中探讨的核心主题，指的是一个人内心的满足和愉悦状态。视频中通过多个研究和调查，探讨了财富、事业成功、人际关系等因素与幸福感之间的关系。例如，视频提到了哈佛大学的长期研究，发现良好的人际关系比物质财富更能带来幸福感。

💡财富

财富在视频中被提及为影响幸福感的一个重要因素。人们普遍认为拥有财富是幸福生活的重要组成部分，但视频通过研究数据指出，超过一定收入水平后，财富对幸福感的提升作用有限。例如，2010年的研究发现年收入约75,000美元以上时，情感幸福感并不会因收入增加而提高。

💡人际关系

人际关系是视频中强调的另一个关键因素，它与个体的幸福感和健康紧密相关。视频指出，亲密和支持性的人际关系能够提供情感支持，减少压力，从而对身心健康产生积极影响。例如，哈佛大学的研究显示，满意的婚姻关系是预测晚年幸福和健康的强有力因素。

💡健康

健康是视频中讨论的与幸福密切相关的一个概念。保持良好的身体健康，如适当的饮食、规律的锻炼等，对延长寿命和维持健康状态至关重要。视频中提到，身体活动不仅能减少死亡风险，还能保护认知健康，降低认知衰退和痴呆的风险。

💡孤独

孤独在视频中被描述为一种有害于个体身心健康的状态。研究表明，感到孤独的人更容易受到心脏病和中风等疾病的威胁，且孤独感与每天吸半包烟或肥胖对健康的危害相当。例如，视频中提到美国卫生局长宣布孤独为新的公共卫生流行病。

💡成就

成就在视频中指的是个人在职业或其他领域取得的成功和荣誉。虽然社会常常将成就视为幸福的象征，但视频通过研究指出，与人际关系相比，成就对幸福感的贡献有限。例如，哈佛大学的研究参与者在回顾生活时，更倾向于提到他们的关系而非成就。

💡工作

工作在视频中被提及为影响幸福感的一个因素。有意义的工作可以提升个体的幸福感，但单纯的职业成就并不等同于幸福。视频中提到，人们应该追求有意义的工作，而不是仅仅为了金钱或名誉。

💡婚姻

婚姻是视频中讨论的一个重要的人际关系领域。良好的婚姻关系对个体的幸福感和健康有着积极的影响。然而，视频也指出，质量低的婚姻可能对健康产生负面影响，甚至比离婚更糟。例如，研究显示，与伴侣关系满意的人在晚年时记忆力保持得更久。

💡锻炼

锻炼是视频中提到的一种对身体和心理健康都有益处的活动。规律的锻炼不仅能降低死亡风险，延长寿命，还能减少认知衰退的风险。视频中提到，即使是每天15分钟的锻炼，也能显著提高健康水平和生活质量。

💡社会联系

社会联系在视频中被强调为对个体幸福和健康至关重要的一个因素。拥有强大的社会联系网络可以增加生存的可能性，减少孤独感。然而，现代社会中，人们越来越多地依赖在线社交，这可能降低了社会联系的质量。例如，视频中提到社交参与的时间从2003年的每天60分钟减少到2020年的20分钟。

💡自我反思

自我反思是视频中提到的一种个人行为，指的是个体对自己的行为、目标和价值观进行深思熟虑。通过自我反思，人们可以更好地理解什么对他们来说真正重要，从而做出更有利于自己幸福和健康的选择。例如，视频最后提到，许多人在回顾生活时，最自豪的是与他们的关系有关的成就，而不是职业或金钱上的成功。

Highlights

金钱和事业成功是人们认为通向幸福生活的重要因素。

2018年调查显示，超过半数的大学新生希望事业成功，83%希望变得富有。

彩票中奖者的幸福感在初期高峰后，往往不会比普通人更幸福。

人们的记忆不可靠，称为重构记忆，影响对幸福感的研究。

自1938年以来的长期研究，跟踪人们的整个生活，研究选择如何影响幸福感。

哈佛成人发展研究是深入研究人类发展的最长研究。

研究表明，良好的身体健康对长寿和健康有巨大益处。

每天15分钟的锻炼可以减少14%的死亡风险，延长三年的预期寿命。

锻炼还保护我们的认知健康，减少认知衰退和痴呆的风险。

人际关系不仅让我们更快乐，还让我们更健康，帮助我们活得更久。

拥有更强社会联系的人，生存的可能性平均增加了50%。

孤独感与每天吸半包烟或肥胖一样，对健康构成危险。

孤独感增加心脏病和中风的风险，对社会关系的研究显示。

美国卫生局局长宣布孤独感为新的公共卫生流行病。

孤独感与认知衰退和痴呆的风险增加有关。

人际关系的质量比数量更重要，对健康和幸福有显著影响。

亲密关系中的满意度是预测80岁时幸福和健康的最强指标。

人际关系是情绪和压力的调节器，有助于身体恢复平衡。

与亲人共度时光是预防慢性压力对身体系统损害的关键。

社交参与度从2003年的每天60分钟下降到2020年的20分钟。

技术改变了我们的交流方式，往往用在线连接取代了面对面的高质量联系。

无论是内向者还是外向者，人类都需要人际连接。

哈佛研究表明，最幸福的人是那些投入关系的人。

哈佛研究参与者在80多岁时最自豪的是与他们的关系有关的事情。

哈佛研究参与者最大的遗憾是花了太多时间工作，而没有与亲人共度更多时光。

成就和金钱并不一定会让我们更快乐，但有意义的工作可以。

2010年的研究发现，年收入超过75,000美元后，情感幸福感没有改善。

2022年的研究显示，收入越高，幸福感越高，特别是在最幸福的群体中。

人际关系的重要性常被忽视，但科学研究表明它是幸福和健康的极大预测因素。

建立人际关系应被视为一种日常实践，通过小行动持续培养。

即使在人生的晚年，许多事物仍可以改变，不应放弃培养人际关系。

Transcripts

- This video is about one of the most important questions:

what leads to a happy life?

- Realistically, money.

- Being wealthy is definitely a big aspect of it.

- To save a lot of money.

- Money. - Money.

- Earning money.

- It's very important to be rich.

- It's easy for people

to say they don't care about having money

and that money can't buy happiness,

but that's really not true.

- 'Cause I would rather cry on a yacht

than in a like a Subaru.

(both laugh)

- [Derek] Clearly, having a successful career

and financial wealth are important to people.

Is there a number in mind? Something you wanna get to?

- At least a million.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

- In a survey from 2018

of around a hundred thousand college freshmen,

about 55% said they wanted to be successful in their career

and 83% reported that they wanted to become rich.

But do these accomplishments really increase happiness?

Well, that's what I wanna find out in this video.

But how do you study what makes people happy?

Well, you can ask them.

What's gonna make you happy?

- Um. - Uh.

- Uh. - Uh.

- Ooh.

- [Derek] But people aren't really good

at judging what will make them happy.

Winning the lottery seems like it should make you happy.

- What!? (sister screams)

What!? What!?

- [Derek] But numerous studies on lottery winners

find that after the initial surge of happiness wears off,

many are no happier than the rest of us.

Some are, in fact, more miserable than they were beforehand.

- 'Cause you don't see as many people as you used to see.

Obviously, you become slightly isolated,

I think in some ways.

- Yeah, I agree.

- Another problem is that people's memories aren't reliable.

- We only detect, encode and store in our brains

bits and pieces of the entire experience in front of us.

It's called reconstructed memories.

It happens to us

in all the aspects of our lives all the time.

- Most studies on happiness find older people

and ask them to recall what made them happy.

But as we've just seen, memory is unreliable.

So a better way to conduct a study

would be to follow people throughout their entire lives,

capturing the choices they make

and how those affect their happiness.

That is really hard to do.

But there is one study like this

that's been running since 1938.

Now, 85 years is a long time to run a study

so it has been passed down

from one generation of researchers to the next.

It's currently run by its fourth director, Robert Waldinger.

What is the claim to fame then of the study?

- You know, the claim to fame is that it is,

as far as we know, the longest study of human development

that's ever been done.

The longest study of any depth.

These are studies that take deep dives into people's lives

and their mental and physical health.

- [Derek] The study actually began as two separate studies

by two groups of Harvard researchers

that didn't know about each other.

The first group followed 268 young men from Harvard

to find out how they would develop into early adulthood.

- So of course,

if you wanna study normal young adult development,

you study all white guys from Harvard, right?

(Derek laughs)

You know, it's one of those limitations.

- [Derek] The second group studied 456 boys

from middle school onwards

from Boston's poorest and most disadvantaged families.

- So there were these two studies,

both meant to be studies of what goes right in development

and how we predict who does well as they grow up.

- Eventually, the two studies merged into one:

The Harvard Study of Adult Development.

At the start of the study, the participants were interviewed

and received extensive physical examinations.

And as they grew, they entered all walks of life.

Some of them became bricklayers and doctors

and factory workers and lawyers,

and one even became president of the United States.

(presidential music)

Every two years, researchers ask them questions

about their lives.

Like, "If you could stop working without loss of income,

would you, what would you do instead?

How often do you feel isolated from others?

True or false, life has more pain than pleasure."

And other questions about their marriage,

career, friendships, and their physical and mental health.

While the study started with just 724 participants,

over time, their spouses and children

were also included in the study.

So how many people are we talking about in total

who have been part of the study?

- Between 2,500 and 3,000 people altogether in the study.

- [Derek] And as technology improved,

so did the methods of data collection.

- We now draw blood from DNA.

You know, DNA wasn't even imagined in 1938.

We measure messenger RNA, DNA methylation,

we bring people into our laboratory,

we deliberately stress them out

and then see how quickly they recover from stress.

Looking at heart rate variability, for example,

looking at cortisol deposited in hair,

because that seems to be a long-term measure

of circulating cortisol.

But all of these new methods are in the service

of studying the same big phenomena

of human wellbeing.

- So what do 85 years of research

across entire human lives teach us

about a healthy and happy life?

- Two huge takeaways really.

One is no surprise.

It's that if you take care of your physical health,

it has huge benefits, not just for your longevity,

but for how long you stay healthy.

Eating well, getting regular exercise,

not abusing alcohol or drugs, not smoking,

getting preventive healthcare,

exercise is hugely important.

- [Derek] A Taiwanese study looked at the medical data

of 416,000 healthy people between 1996 and 2008.

Eight years later, they followed up with each person

to look at the link between exercise and mortality.

They found that people who exercised just 15 minutes a day

had a 14% reduced risk of dying,

and a three year longer life expectancy.

Every additional 15 minutes of exercise

decreased the risk of dying by an extra 4%.

A large meta-analysis from 2008 confirms

that people who are physically active

have a reduced risk of dying

during the timeframes investigated in each study.

Exercise also protects our cognitive health.

A meta-analysis from 2014 found

that participants with higher levels of physical activity

had a 35% reduced risk of cognitive decline

and a 14% reduced risk of dementia.

- And then the big surprising finding is, relationships,

not just keeping us happier,

but keeping us healthier and helping us live longer.

- It's not just the Harvard study.

There's now a whole list of studies

that show the importance of relationships

to human happiness and health.

They teach us three main lessons.

The first is that relationships are great for our health.

In 2010, researchers looked across 148 studies

with a total of more than 300,000 participants.

They found that, on average,

people with stronger social connections

had a 50% increased likelihood of survival

for any given year.

Being married, in particular,

has a large impact on how long people live.

- There's one study, I think it's pretty well respected,

that suggests that married men

live 12 years longer on average than unmarried men

and married women live seven years longer on average

than unmarried women.

Marriage is always a better deal for men on all parameters

than it is for women. (Derek laughs)

And it's not because you have a marriage license, right?

It's because people living together

in an intimate partnership

tend to keep each other healthier.

You have somebody who's kind of watching,

looking out for you.

It's a very real, concrete effect.

- If feeling well-connected to others

makes us happier, healthier, and extends our lives,

then what happens if we feel disconnected?

- There's a researcher, Julianne Holt-Lunstad,

out of the University of Utah,

who did a meta-analysis of a whole slew of studies

of the physical effects of loneliness.

And her calculation was that being lonely

is as dangerous to your health

as smoking half a pack of cigarettes a day,

or as dangerous as being obese.

- [Derek] Feeling disconnected from others

also makes you more prone to disease.

A large meta-analysis from 2016

found that poor social relationships

were associated with a 29% increase in risk of heart disease

and a 32% increase in risk of stroke.

- So these have real sort of quantifiable consequences

when we look at studies of thousands of people.

- One caveat is that most studies

on the health effects of loneliness

focus on people aged 50 and older.

(clock ticking)

And loneliness is on the rise.

- The U.S. Surgeon General today

declared a new public health epidemic in America.

Loneliness.

- We're now finding that one in two adults

report measurable levels of loneliness

and it turns out that young people are most affected.

And here's why this is so concerning.

It's because we've realized

that loneliness is more than just a bad feeling.

It has real consequences

for our mental and physical health.

- The UK has appointed a minister of loneliness.

Many, many countries are concerned

about this breakdown in social connection.

- A question about loneliness,

like, what does that look like?

Because, obviously, everyone experiences

some periods of loneliness.

So you know, when does it become sort of really detrimental

and how do we define that?

- Well, loneliness is different from being alone, right?

So you can be alone and quite content,

and many people are, in fact.

The ability to be content when you're alone

is quite a skill and it's a wonderful ability.

Loneliness is that subjective experience

of being less connected to people than you wanna be.

And that's why, you know, you can be lonely in a crowd.

We're all on a spectrum between extroversion,

you know, wanting lots of people in our lives,

and introversion, actually needing a lot of solitude

and not wanting a lot of people,

a lot of people are stressful for introverts.

And what we know is that neither one is healthier, right?

Like introverts are perfectly healthy.

They just may need one or two really solid relationships

and don't want a lot more people.

Nothing wrong with that at all.

Whereas extroverts may want lots of people in their lives.

- [Derek] So the second lesson is

that it's not how many people you know or see,

or even whether you're married or not,

because a bad marriage can be worse

for your health than getting divorced.

Instead, it's about the quality

of your close relationships that matters.

- When we'd followed all the original people

out to their 80s we said,

"Okay, what data actually are the best predictors

at age 50 of who's gonna be happy

and healthy at age 80 as opposed to sick or dead?"

And we thought we were gonna be looking

at blood pressure and cholesterol level at age 50

as the strongest predictors.

It was their relationships.

It was particularly their satisfaction

with their marital relationships

that was the strongest predictor.

- And relationships don't just keep us happier

and physically healthier,

they also protect our brains.

People who are in secure relationships in their 80s,

where they feel that they can rely on the other person,

find that their memories stay sharper for longer.

And people who feel lonely,

well, their memories fade quicker.

A study of retired U.S. adults found

that the rate of cognitive decline

was 20% higher over 10 years for those who felt lonely.

A meta-analysis from 2018 further confirms

the detrimental effects of loneliness,

finding that it also increased the risk of dementia.

But there's still a big open question:

what is it about the relationships

that makes them particularly healthful or helpful?

- The best hypothesis,

for which there's some pretty decent research now,

is that relationships are emotion regulators.

They're stress regulators.

So stressful things happen every day

to many of us, right?

So then what happens?

Well, the body goes into fight-or-flight mode,

blood pressure goes up,

respirations become more rapid,

circulating stress hormone levels rise.

But then the body is meant to go back to equilibrium

after that normal fight-or-flight response

when we face a challenge.

If I can come home and there's somebody here to talk to,

I can literally feel my body calm down.

What we are pretty sure happens

is that people who are isolated, that they're more likely

to stay in a kind of chronic fight-or-flight mode.

And that what that means is

that they have higher levels of circulating cortisol,

higher levels of chronic inflammation,

and that those things gradually wear away body systems.

So that's how, for example,

chronic stress can predict coronary artery disease,

but also arthritis and also type-two diabetes

because of this common mechanism

that breaks down multiple body systems.

- The key to preventing this breakdown is simple.

Just spend a little more time

with the people you care about.

Unfortunately, we seem to be doing the exact opposite.

Before going into why we're doing the exact opposite,

this part of the video was sponsored by BetterHelp.

There are many things

that can negatively impact our happiness.

It could be stress or fear or a clinical mental health issue

like depression or anxiety.

But regardless of which one it is,

therapy can help you by giving you the tools

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And that's where BetterHelp comes in.

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Just whatever's the most comfortable version

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And it's easy to sign up, there's a link in the description.

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Clicking on that link both helps support this channel

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or click that link in the description below.

So I want to thank BetterHelp

for sponsoring this part of the video.

And now, back to the importance of relationships.

There is an alarming trend in our society.

- [Newsreader] Social engagement with friends decreased

from 60 minutes a day in 2003

to just 20 minutes a day in 2020.

- The technology has fundamentally changed

how we interact with one another

and how we communicate with one another

and, unfortunately, has often replaced

what used to be rich in-person connections

with online connections, which often are of lower quality.

- Now, you may say you're an introvert

and you don't need to spend much time with people

to feel good.

And while it's true that introverts and extroverts

need different amounts of social stimulation,

both need human connection.

In 2015, Holt-Lunstad and her colleagues

looked at the data of 70 independent studies

with more than 3 million total participants.

Similar to other studies,

they found that the subjective feeling of loneliness

increased the risk of premature death by 26%.

But they also looked at

the objective measure of social isolation,

how much time you're actually spending with other people.

And they found that social isolation

increased the risk of premature death by 29%.

And unfortunately, introverts are more at risk

of being socially isolated.

Just like many young people today,

many participants from the Harvard study

also believed that money and achievement

were what they should go after to have a good life.

But what this study and plenty of others show

is that the people who were the happiest

were those that leaned into their relationships

with their partner, friends, family, and community.

And when they were in their 80s

the researchers asked them, what are you most proud of

and what is your biggest regret?

- Many people said that they were proudest

of something to do with their relationships.

So it could be, "I was a good boss, I was a good parent,

I was a good friend, I was a good mentor."

Nobody said, "I made a fortune," right?

Nobody even said, you know, "I won the Nobel Prize,"

which a few people did.

It wasn't about those badges of achievement, right,

that we think of as, "Oh, that's what we gotta get

to feel like we've had a meaningful life."

Everybody looking back mentioned their relationships.

The biggest regret was particularly among the men,

'cause this was the World War II generation.

They said, "I wish I hadn't spent so much time at work,

I wish I had spent more time with the people I care about."

- So what about our original question?

Do achievements and money really make us happy?

Well, according to the Harvard study,

badges of achievement do not necessarily make us happier,

but doing meaningful work can.

And what about money? Does that make us happier?

Well, there's a famous study from 2010

by Daniel Kahneman and Angus Deaton

that found that above an income of around $75,000 a year,

there is no improvement whatever

in the measures of emotional wellbeing.

But 11 years later,

Matthew Killingsworth studied data

on 33,000 employed U.S. adults

and he found that higher incomes

corresponded to higher levels of wellbeing.

So he wrote, "There was no evidence

for an experienced wellbeing plateau above $75,000 a year,

contrary to some influential past research."

In 2022, Kahneman and Killingsworth set out

to resolve the conflict with Barbara Mellers as a mediator.

When they analyzed Killingsworth's data,

they discovered an interesting pattern,

depending on how happy people were relative to others,

earning more resulted in different increases in happiness.

For each income level,

they divided people into groups based on their happiness,

low, medium, high, and so on.

And they found that below a threshold

of roughly a hundred thousand dollars a year,

a higher income was associated

with more happiness for all groups.

But if you go above that threshold,

then for the unhappiest group,

a further increase is not associated with more happiness.

However, for all the happier groups,

higher incomes do seem to lead to more happiness.

And the real twist is

that those who are the happiest to start with

stand to gain the most with increasing income.

Relationships, meaningful work,

and money all play a role in our happiness.

So why can it be so hard

to realize just how important relationships are?

- You know, if you think about it,

relationships have been there

since before we have memory, right?

So they're like the air we breathe,

we take 'em for granted.

So you don't think about that as something you cultivate

in order to make yourself happy.

We don't think about that at all.

And yet, when we study it scientifically,

we find that that turns out to be an enormous predictor

of happiness as well as physical health.

- What's gonna make you happy?

- Um. - Uh.

- Uh. - Uh.

- Um. - Uh.

- Being wealthy is definitely a big aspect of it.

But that loving family is kind of like the foundation of it.

You know what I mean? - Realistically, money.

But like building deep connections

with people are what's going

to make me happy. - [Derek] That's awesome.

- Having like good relationships with other people.

- You raise a family.

- Have a family and provide.

- Friends and family.

- Seeing my family happy, that's all I really care about.

- Giving back to the community

where you came from, the world.

- A strong family base just to come home to every night.

- Yeah. I wanna get married, have a ton of kids.

I want to- - How many is a ton?

- Probably like five-ish, six.

- That's a- - As many as I can afford.

(Derek laughs) So.

- In fact, when I interviewed people,

I was pleasantly surprised

to see how many identified the importance of relationships.

So if you could give people advice

on what to start doing today to start being happier,

what suggestions would you make?

- To think about it as analogous with physical fitness,

if you go out today, you don't come home

and say, "I'm done.

I don't ever have to do that again," right?

It's like a practice, right?

That the people who were best at relationships

were the people who made it a practice

day after day, week after week,

to stay connected to the people they cared about.

You know, to talk on the phone, to go for walks,

to have coffee, to do whatever, to play basketball.

The people who took those actions again and again regularly

were the people who stayed very connected

and stayed happy that way.

So what we propose is

that this is a practice we can cultivate

and that there are tiny actions that people can take.

We have many stories of people

who thought that they were no good at relationships,

that they were never gonna have happy lives.

And then it changed.

And many times it changed when they didn't expect it.

So like, we have a story about one man

who really didn't have a good marriage

and was kind of distant from his kids,

didn't have any friends.

And then when he retired,

he joined a gym and he found this group of friends

that became, for the first time, a kind of tribe for him.

And that's just one example

of how our lives take these twists and turns

that we usually can't predict,

that we don't expect.

And many of those turns are in positive directions.

The message that the science tells us

is don't give up on this aspect of your life.

'cause many things can change at any age.

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