why we struggle with discipline (& how to improve)
Summary
TLDRThis video encourages viewers to embrace self-love through discipline and create their own path, free from societal expectations. The speaker highlights the importance of small, consistent changes in habits rather than seeking overnight success. By focusing on what truly serves personal growth, individuals can align their daily lives with their dreams and goals. The video also emphasizes the value of self-reflection, patience, and a personalized timeline for success. Ultimately, it's about trusting your inner guidance and gradually building a life that reflects your desired reality.
Takeaways
- 😊 Self-love is about choosing what works best for you, not following society's rules for success.
- 🌱 2023 is a year to implement lessons learned from previous years and take action on what aligns with your goals.
- 🧘♀️ Listen to your inner guidance system and take your own unique path toward success.
- 💪 Discipline, when done out of love and not shame, is an important act of self-care and growth.
- 🌸 It's okay to take time to ease into new habits; change doesn't happen overnight.
- 📅 Focus on small, consistent changes instead of seeking immediate results or overnight success.
- 🔍 Take time to evaluate what's no longer serving you and adjust your habits accordingly.
- 📝 Create a clear timeline and action plan for your goals to stay organized and focused.
- 🎯 Shift focus from end goals to aligning your daily habits with the person you want to become.
- 🏡 Real estate investing is highlighted as a means of building passive income and wealth, with tools like Arrived making it accessible.
Q & A
What is the main theme of the script?
-The main theme of the script is self-empowerment and personal growth, encouraging people to create their own reality by implementing discipline, self-love, and focusing on what serves their individual path, rather than following societal expectations.
How does the speaker suggest we approach discipline?
-The speaker suggests approaching discipline from a place of self-love rather than shame. They emphasize that developing healthy habits should be done out of care for oneself, rather than as a punishment or reaction to societal pressures.
Why does the speaker emphasize small changes over major life overhauls?
-The speaker emphasizes small changes because they believe that success and transformation come from gradual, consistent efforts, rather than expecting immediate or overnight success. Small adjustments in daily habits are seen as more sustainable and effective in the long run.
What does the speaker say about societal expectations and productivity?
-The speaker challenges societal expectations around productivity, noting that society often pressures people to wake up early, make a lot of money, or follow strict routines to be considered successful. They argue that true success is defined by personal rules and what works best for each individual.
What is the significance of the winter season according to the speaker?
-According to the speaker, the winter season is a time for rest, reflection, and going inward. It’s a period to evaluate what’s no longer serving you and to prepare for growth and action in the spring, rather than feeling pressured to immediately be productive.
How does the speaker view the relationship between the journey and the end goal?
-The speaker encourages focusing on the journey rather than obsessing over the end goal. They believe that enjoying the process of growth and learning is key, and that being fixated on immediate results can lead to frustration and burnout.
What advice does the speaker give for setting goals in 2023?
-The speaker advises breaking down goals into smaller, manageable steps and creating systems around them. They suggest setting a timeline and focusing on consistent actions rather than expecting instant success.
What role does self-awareness play in the speaker’s approach to personal growth?
-Self-awareness plays a critical role in the speaker’s approach. They encourage listeners to tune into their own inner guidance and desires, rather than following external influences, in order to align with their true purpose and path.
Why does the speaker suggest taking an inventory of habits?
-The speaker suggests taking an inventory of habits to identify which ones are helping or hindering progress toward a desired reality. This reflection allows individuals to make informed adjustments to align more closely with their goals.
What does the speaker mean by 'discipline is self-love'?
-The speaker means that discipline, when approached from a place of love and care for oneself, is a form of self-respect. It’s about creating structure and habits that support well-being and personal growth, rather than being something negative or restrictive.
Outlines
💪 Overcoming Society's Expectations and Creating Your Own Path
The speaker reflects on how societal pressures make us feel inadequate if we don't conform to certain expectations, like waking up early or earning a specific income. They emphasize that these standards are not universally true and that everyone has the power to create their own reality. The speaker believes the years 2020 to 2022 brought significant transformation and awakening, revealing what no longer serves us—whether it’s people, thought patterns, or institutions. Moving forward, they encourage a focus on aligning with one's true desires and purpose in 2023, without making excuses.
🧘♀️ Embracing Self-Discipline with Love
This section explores the importance of discipline as a form of self-love. The speaker shares their personal journey of balancing relaxation and discipline, emphasizing that implementing healthy habits is a way of honoring oneself. They argue that discipline shouldn't come from guilt or shame but from love and the desire to protect and nurture oneself. The speaker encourages shifting perspective on habit-building, focusing on how positive changes can align us with our desired realities.
🌱 Small Changes Lead to Big Results
The speaker stresses that success is not achieved overnight. They advocate for making small, consistent changes to habits and routines, drawing from insights in the book *Atomic Habits*. These small changes, when built upon over time, lead to significant improvements. The speaker also cautions against focusing too much on the end goal, as doing so can cause frustration. Instead, they encourage enjoying the journey of self-improvement and staying present in the process of growth.
🎯 Planning and Goal Setting with Systems in Mind
The speaker explains their approach to goal-setting, breaking down goals into yearly, monthly, weekly, and daily tasks. They emphasize the importance of creating a timeline and building systems rather than solely focusing on the outcome. For example, they outline their own goal of learning about real estate investing and explain how they plan to achieve it through small, daily steps. They advocate for a structured, yet flexible approach to personal growth that allows for continuous progress.
📅 Visualization and Staying Attuned to Your Inner Guidance
The final section highlights the importance of self-reflection and inner guidance in goal setting. The speaker encourages taking time to meditate, journal, or pray to align with one’s true desires and goals. They also suggest creating a vision board to visualize goals more tangibly. The speaker reiterates the need to follow one’s own path, free from societal expectations, and to prioritize personal timing and intuition when planning for the future.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Self-love
💡Discipline
💡Societal expectations
💡Personal reality
💡Transformation
💡Divine purpose
💡Habits
💡Journey
💡Winter season
💡Goal setting
Highlights
You can create your own reality by choosing rules that work best for you and recognizing the power in that choice.
The years 2020 to 2022 were transformative, revealing what no longer serves people and prompting personal and collective awakenings.
2023 is a year of applying lessons learned, shifting focus to what truly serves you and aligning your life with your goals.
It's important to stop making excuses and start focusing on how to attract abundance and make positive changes in life.
Discipline is a form of self-love, and implementing healthy habits should come from a place of love, not shame.
You should take inventory of what is no longer serving you, whether that’s people, thought patterns, or institutions like your job.
Avoid subscribing to societal pressure; focus on your inner guidance and divine timing rather than external expectations.
Making small changes every day is more effective than expecting overnight success or drastic transformation.
It’s essential to focus on enjoying the journey, not just obsessing over the end goal or results.
Systems are more important than just goals: create a structure for consistent action, like breaking down goals into yearly, monthly, weekly, and daily tasks.
Vision boards and detailed planning can help visualize your goals in the material world and align your current self with your future aspirations.
Winter is the perfect time to reflect, spend time alone, and plan what you want to embody in the upcoming year.
Atomic habits emphasize the power of small, consistent changes that lead to sustainable success rather than relying on big, one-time efforts.
Pay attention to personal synchronicities and inner guidance rather than external opinions when setting goals for yourself.
The focus should be on self-awareness and understanding what steps are necessary to align with your future, even if that process takes time.
Transcripts
we always want the best for ourselves
because we love ourselves and it can be
hard to truly feel like that sometimes
because Society teaches you that if
you're not doing this then you're not
doing enough or if you're not making
this much money then you're not good
enough here or if you don't wake up at
5am every single day then you can't
possibly be successful and be rich it's
not true none of it is true you can
really truly make the rules of your own
reality because you are living in your
own world there is so much power in you
deciding what rules work the best for
you I feel like the year is 20 28 to
like 2022 we're very deep heavy
transformative years for a lot of us
there's been a huge Collective Awakening
that's been happening a lot has been
revealed to us a lot of us are
discovering more of what we want out of
life more of what our Divine Purpose is
outside of the programming of society
and what other people have taught us we
should want and think and believe and I
feel like more than anything it's really
showed us what is no longer serving us
what people what thought patterns and
habits what institutions may be like
your job or maybe even school what
things are no longer serving you on your
divine plan and your unique path to
becoming again who it is that you feel
you should actually be and 2023 I think
is a year where we are finally putting
those lessons into practice how can you
physically change your reality what can
you do on your in your day-to-day life
to make your reality more aligned to the
reality that you are dreaming of that's
what I think a lot of us are being
tasked with and we've done that right
we've done a little bit of that work in
the past few years but I think 2023 is
really the year that we stop making
excuses we stop sitting around and
thinking about what it is that we don't
want and we really start focusing on
what we do want we really start focusing
on what it is that is serving us how we
can attract abundance into our lives and
what work we need to do in order to get
there and I really want to speak in this
video specifically about some ways that
you can do this some ways that I least I
am putting that into practice and before
we get too far into the video I do want
to say I know it's a new year and I know
there's a million and one videos out
there right now about how to be
productive and how to be your best self
and how to take action right now and
maybe you don't feel that motivated or
that inspired right this second and
that's totally okay I know I didn't the
day the New Year came but someone
actually commented this on my channel
and it was really helpful for me and
that was reminding me that we are not we
don't have to subscribe to what Society
is telling us just because it's a new
year and just because the calendar marks
a shift in our energies in a transition
yes that is happening but that doesn't
mean that it's happening right away
we're still in the winter season we're
still in this season of rest of
hibernation of going Inward and really
looking at ourselves and our homes right
being inside a lot more and spring is a
lot of times that season for us to
Blossom and to bloom and to put more
things into action and start doing more
things I really encourage you to not
look at what other people are telling
you you should be doing and really
following the guidance of your inner
system you know yourself better than
anyone else you know yourself better
than I know you so really truly trust
yourself and trust your own Divine
timing as you're kind of keeping these
things in mind because maybe you're
feeling ready and motivated to implement
discipline and structure and all that
stuff and change right now but maybe
you're not and that's okay either way I
know for me I'm kind of like taking my
time slowly but surely easing into this
new reality but it's not going to be an
automatic switch it's just not how life
works so anyways first thing I think
it's really important to keep in mind
this year is that discipline is
self-love this is something that I
really struggled with and something that
if y'all have been following me for a
while y'all know as I entered into my
soft girl feminine era I was like let's
just chill let's just Vibe I'm over
Society in the 3D I don't want to follow
any of the rules and I just want to go
on my own pace as I kind of fell deeper
and deeper into that I started to
realize that there's actually a lot of
power in having discipline I think the
key to this is doing things out of love
instead of doing them out of Shame
whatever good habits you want to start
implementing whatever bad habits you
want to get rid of you're doing these
things because you love yourself not
because you're in trouble not because
you're a bad person or you've been a bad
person or you've been doing a bad job we
always want the best for ourselves
because we love ourselves and it can be
hard to truly feel like that sometimes
because Society teaches you that if
you're not doing this then you're not
doing enough or if you're not making
this much money then you're not good
enough here or if you don't wake up at
5am every single day then you can't
possibly be successful and be rich it's
not true none of it is true you can
really truly make the rules of your own
reality because you are living in your
own world there is so much power in you
deciding what rules work the best for
you so for example if you're the kind of
person who's on Tick Tock right before
they go to sleep and you're recognizing
that that is no longer serving you it
can be hard to let that go when it can
feel like a lot of pressure that like oh
my gosh it's 10 p.m right now and I'm
still scrolling through Tick Tock what
is wrong with me and then you feel this
shame and then you feel this guilt and
then you're mad at yourself when you're
coming from that place of fear and anger
of oh no I did something wrong so I need
to change it's not going to help you but
when you start shifting your perspective
and realizing that oh I'm putting my
phone away because I honor myself and I
love myself and I want to give my mind
that time to settle down and to relax
and to not have other people in my ear
in my subconscious mind before I fall
asleep or right when I wake up even when
you start recognizing that you're doing
these things to protect yourself in the
same way you would protect a little girl
or a little kid who doesn't know any
better when they go about doing things
they're not healthy for them when you
start having that loving perspective for
yourself discipline and healthy habits
become a lot easier because you realize
you're doing these things out of love
instead of out of Shame so as you're
starting to plan and look at you know
what habits you want to start
implementing and what habits you want to
get rid of for this new year I really
encourage you to start looking at it
from a healthy perspective and when you
find yourself getting into a negative
cycle or a negative way of thinking
about them take a step back go within
and really ask yourself what it is that
you truly want out of life what again
what do you want your reality to look
like recognize that you deserve to have
that reality right and these habits that
you're going to be implementing are for
you to get closer to that reality that
you already deserve also I think it's
really important to recognize that it's
not going to be an overnight thing as
you start kind of trying to implement
new things new habits you are not going
to be an overnight success manifesting
whatever it is that you want out of life
whether that be just more money you
quitting your job you traveling
somewhere any of the any whatever it is
you want it's a journey and I talk about
this a lot on my channel but oftentimes
we get so focused this on the outcome
the results that we want that end goal
that we take ourselves out of the
present and we stop enjoying the journey
but in reality the whole point of this
life is to enjoy the journey of getting
anywhere that you want to get so you are
not going to be an overnight success
with anything that you are trying to
implement because that's not the point
it wouldn't be fun if you were it
wouldn't be fun if you woke up tomorrow
and you had nothing that you need to
change nothing that you needed to
improve and you were just life was
perfect it would not be fun anymore
there would be no point in living
because you've had it all and there's
nothing else to learn so even thinking
about like a healing journey and trying
to be your best self spiritually
mentally that is not going to ever have
an end goal they're constantly evolving
we're constantly growing spiritually so
stop focusing so much on an end goal yes
have goals don't get me wrong have goals
have things that you're working towards
but don't Focus so much on that end
result I say all the time focus on the
journey and do not obsess over being an
overnight success and do not obsess over
being perfect right away because you're
going to get frustrated with yourself
you're going to burn yourself out and
you're going to be
a month into the new year and you're
going to feel like giving up and that's
not the way that you want to approach
your goals I really encourage you this
year focus on making small changes doing
small things small adjustments to your
habits into your routines until you
start to feel more in flow with
everything I'm reading this book right
now called a tap Atomic habits highly
highly recommend it and he basically
talks about this you know when you're
whenever you're trying to make any kind
of change in your life it's not really
about making this one big Grand gesture
and suddenly again your life is just
completely different when you wake up
the next day it's really about making
small changes every single day and as
you make more and more small changes as
you adjust maybe your morning routine a
little bit every single day the small
things that you start doing become more
automatic and that's when you start to
add more changes in your life it's not
just about becoming again an overnight
success suddenly you know posting one
time on YouTube and hoping that your
channel is just gonna pop off right that
is an amazing an amazing hope and dream
to have but it's not just about that
right it's about figuring out how you
can build a system so you can be
consistent and so you can build on it
more and more instead of trying to focus
again on this overnight change so I
really encourage you if you haven't
already start taking an inventory of
your habits and your current systems and
start figuring out what little
adjustments you can make to again
further shift into the reality that you
want to align to so I think the winter
is the perfect time to do this I did
this a lot in December and I feel like
I'm still doing this quite a bit right
now where I'm really just sitting with
myself spending a lot of time alone to
be honest and really just asking myself
what it is that I want in this next year
again what it what do I need to walk
away from what is no longer serving me
but also what do I need to start doing
to embody who it is that I want to be
and also who do I want to be a lot of
times I feel like we think that we need
to have everything figured out all of
our goals all of our plans for the next
year as soon as the New Year comes but
you may find as you sit with your
yourself a little bit more again go into
meditation Journal pray do whatever
works best for you you may start to feel
yourself being called to different
things that you weren't normally called
to before so really pay attention really
listen to again your inner guidance
system pay attention to what's going on
in your daily life what synchronicities
you're noticing and again you may start
to find that there's a path for you that
you feel really called to once you start
doing that more and more you may start
to find yourself being called to write
this down to take notes to maybe make a
vision board a vision board is a really
great way to kind of put that
visualization into like the actual 3D
material world and then from there I
really just like to plan out everything
I break down my goals through like
yearly monthly weekly and then even
daily to do so I timeline my entire year
I break it down into quarters and then I
really just list out in each quarter
what are the major things happening and
placing your goals in that timeline so
you maybe have a goal of starting a
YouTube channel and that's awesome but
don't don't just say that you have a
goal starter YouTube channel in 2023
have that in your timeline know that you
want to start your YouTube channel by
March of 2023. I just think having a
timeline is a really good way to shift
your goals from these like ambiguous
things in this list to an actual
timeline that you can build an action
plan around and then you can kind of
shrink things down to your monthly goals
I like to get really specific with these
things so I have like my work goals but
I also have like my spiritual and my
body goals how much time do I want to
dedicate to learning a certain topic
every single month what are those topics
how am I going to do that and then also
how am I going to break that down week
by week and then you can also break that
down day by day I think it's just really
important as you're doing this to focus
on systems and not just goals so as
you're planning out your month what can
you do week to week and also day to day
to further align yourself to who it is
that you want to be don't Focus again so
much on that end goal and focus more on
aligning your current self to your
future dream self so for example for me
one of my major goals for 2023 is
learning more about investing in real
estate investing specifically I want to
build more passive income I want to
build my wealth and I just really want
to learn more about how to do that so
I'm really trying to make a plan of like
okay how can I do that day to day like
at least for like 30 minutes to an hour
in the morning and one platform that
I've been using to do this is called
arrived and I want to plug them really
quickly because they are the sponsor of
today's videos shout out to them a ride
if you guys have never heard of them is
a real estate crowdfunding platform that
actually makes it really easy to get
into real estate investing with as
little as a hundred dollars so you go on
the platform and they actually have
properties that they have hand selected
and done a lot of research on that you
yourself can invest in with other people
and start making Returns on obviously
real estate is one of those things that
takes a while to kind of get into if you
are interested in buying your own home
or investing in it but arrived is
amazing because it makes it very
accessible to invest in real estate and
just to learn more about the end
industry they actually have a whole
section on their website where you can
learn more about real estate real estate
investing and learn more about how to
kind of make more money off of their
website I'm going to leave my link to
them down below if you guys want to
check them out I just want to shout them
out because I just think it's an amazing
new platform that I've kind of been
getting into and I know that a lot of us
have goals of building passive income
and again growing our wealth in 2023 so
I think arrive is an amazing way to do
that and yeah shout out to them again
for sponsoring today's video and I know
that 2023 there is so much for us to
accomplish and to do but I just really
encourage you to again First Look within
on yourself spend these next few weeks
these next few months this season or
spend whatever time you need honestly to
really go within and make sure that you
know what it is that you want to be
doing don't Focus so much on what other
people are doing don't focus on what
Society is telling you listen to
yourself listen to your spirit and
really take that time to go inward so
you know where it is that you're being
guided to go in 2020 three so hopefully
this is helpful you guys I love you guys
so much I hope you guys are doing well
and having an amazing start to your New
Year let me know in the comments down
below what do you really focus on in
this current season
um to better yourself and to again
further align your reality to where it
is that you want to be and I will see
you guys in the next one
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