Never Run Out of Things To Say on a Date

Stirling Cooper

17 Jun 202210:20

Summary

TLDRIn this video, Sterling Cooper, an award-winning adult film star and former high-class male companion, offers advice on keeping conversations flowing during dates. He shares various conversation starters and strategies to reveal a woman's values, dreams, and desires. Cooper emphasizes the importance of making the woman talk more, as it increases her investment in the interaction. He provides questions that lead to effortless conversation, such as asking about high school experiences, travel aspirations, and dating in different cities, all while subtly demonstrating your own attractive qualities.

Takeaways

😀 Stay engaged in conversation by asking questions that reveal a person’s values, dreams, and desires.
💬 On a first date, aim to get the other person to talk more, which increases their investment in the interaction.
🗣️ Ask questions about her past, like 'What were you like in high school?' to learn about her development and personality.
⏳ Another revealing question: 'If you could travel back to any point in history, where would you go?' This uncovers interests and knowledge.
👀 A fun question to ask: 'What’s it like dating [city] guys?' This sets the stage for playful, relatable conversation.
😅 Discuss funny or awkward experiences by asking about 'worst date horror stories,' which also allows you to subtly highlight your high standards.
🔮 Ask 'If you could give your 12-year-old self advice, what would it be?' to explore their regrets, vulnerabilities, and goals.
🕵️‍♂️ Play a voyeuristic game, like guessing if other couples around you are having sex or the stage of their relationship, to bond.
🌍 Ask about travel dreams with 'If you could go anywhere in the world, where would it be?' to learn about their aspirations and share your experiences.
📚 Tailor conversation topics to your own expertise, like asking about books, movies, or other interests, to keep the conversation flowing and demonstrate knowledge.

Q & A

Who is the speaker and what is their background?
-The speaker is Sterling Cooper, an award-winning adult film star and former high-class male companion. He provides advice on improving one's sex life and dating skills.
Why is it important to keep a conversation flowing on a first date?
-Keeping a conversation flowing is crucial for building rapport, revealing values, and creating a comfortable and natural connection. It also helps the person feel invested in the interaction, increasing the likelihood of success in dating.
What are some of the key strategies mentioned to facilitate conversation on a date?
-Key strategies include asking questions that reveal personal values, dreams, and desires. Examples include asking about high school experiences, hypothetical historical periods of interest, or worst date horror stories. These questions keep the conversation engaging and insightful.
How can asking 'What were you like in high school?' help in a conversation?
-This question allows a person to reflect on their past and share how their values and personality developed over time. It gives insight into their background and creates an opportunity for them to elaborate on their personal growth.
What is the purpose of the question, 'If you could travel back to any point in history, where and when would you go?'
-This question helps reveal the person's knowledge and passion for history, as well as their interests and values. It can also lead to deeper discussions about personal desires and aspirations.
How does asking 'What's it like dating [city] guys?' contribute to the conversation?
-This question is designed to elicit a candid response about the local dating scene, leading to a shared understanding or camaraderie. It often opens the door for lighthearted, playful exchanges about dating experiences.
Why is sharing a 'worst date horror story' effective on a date?
-Sharing a worst date story encourages humor and vulnerability while allowing each person to showcase their standards and values. It also creates a light and engaging conversation dynamic.
What does the question 'If you could go back in time and give your 12-year-old self advice, what would it be?' reveal?
-This question uncovers personal regrets, insecurities, and life lessons, providing insight into a person’s vulnerabilities and how they've learned from past experiences.
What is the 'Are they [ __ ]?' game and how does it work in a dating context?
-The 'Are they [ __ ]?' game involves observing other couples in a bar or lounge and guessing their relationship status or dynamic. This playful activity encourages bonding, creates a sense of shared conspiracy, and showcases social awareness and body language interpretation.
How can you tailor travel-related questions to your own interests if you're not well-traveled?
-If you're not well-traveled, you can adjust the question to align with your personal expertise, such as asking about favorite books, movies, or other interests. This allows you to demonstrate your knowledge in your specific area while keeping the conversation engaging.

Outlines

00:00

🗣️ How to Avoid Awkward Silences on Dates

Sterling Cooper, an award-winning adult film star and former high-class male companion, shares tips on how to keep a conversation flowing during a first date. He emphasizes the importance of guiding the conversation to learn about the other person’s values, dreams, and desires. Cooper highlights the irony that while men need to carry conversations on a first date, women often talk more when in a relationship. He advises asking questions that allow women to talk about themselves, making the conversation feel natural and effortless.

05:01

🎓 First Date Conversation Starters: High School and Values

Cooper shares one of his favorite first-date questions: 'What were you like in high school?' This question encourages the other person to reflect on their past and helps to reveal their values and the path that led them to who they are today. He suggests men should be prepared with their own answers, subtly framing them to highlight their attractive qualities. Another powerful question he suggests is about traveling back in history, which can reveal someone’s interests and knowledge.

10:01

🤔 The Ultimate Intimacy-Building Questions

Cooper explains a question he always asks: 'What's it like dating [city] guys?' This question builds intimacy and allows for shared experiences about dating, making the conversation playful and engaging. He follows up with another personal question: 'What’s your worst date horror story?' This question allows both people to exchange funny stories while subtly demonstrating Cooper's high standards in dating.

⏳ Reflecting on Regrets and Life Lessons

One of Cooper's favorite questions is, 'If you could go back in time and give your 12-year-old self advice, what would it be?' This question uncovers insecurities, regrets, and areas where someone feels they could have done better. It helps identify vulnerabilities and potential red flags while also providing insight into the other person’s aspirations and unachieved goals. Cooper suggests this question can also be useful for gauging emotional depth.

👀 The Fun and Revealing ‘Are They [___]?’ Game

Cooper introduces a voyeuristic game called 'Are They [___]?', where a couple observes other couples in a bar or lounge, guessing their relationship dynamics. This game creates a sense of ‘us vs. the world,’ establishing a comfortable, fun atmosphere. It also allows you to showcase knowledge of human interactions and body language, which Cooper considers attractive traits in dating. The game enhances connection and reveals insights into both partners' perceptions.

🌍 Exploring Travel Desires and Expertise

Cooper recommends asking about travel destinations, as it reveals the other person’s dreams and desires. This question also allows him to subtly showcase his extensive travel experience without appearing boastful. He suggests adapting the question based on your expertise, whether it's history, books, or movies, allowing you to guide the conversation into an area where you feel confident and knowledgeable.

💡 Additional Dating Tips and Practical Advice

In the final paragraph, Cooper concludes by promoting additional dating advice through his playlist. He emphasizes that there is much more to learn about dating, hinting at the value of his further content for those interested in mastering first-date conversations and beyond.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡Conversation Flow

This refers to the smooth, continuous exchange of dialogue without awkward pauses. In the video, the speaker emphasizes the importance of keeping the conversation flowing during a first date to maintain engagement and connection. He suggests using specific questions and topics to prevent silence and make the interaction feel natural.

💡First Date

A significant social interaction where two people, often meeting for the first time, try to get to know each other better. The speaker provides advice on how to handle conversations during a first date, aiming to create a relaxed and seamless experience that leads to a successful outcome.

💡Values, Dreams, and Desires

These are the personal beliefs, ambitions, and wishes that define an individual's motivations and character. The video suggests that revealing these aspects of someone’s life through conversation topics can help build a deeper connection, making the conversation more engaging and meaningful.

💡Open-Ended Questions

Questions that invite the other person to elaborate on their thoughts and experiences rather than answering with a simple yes or no. In the video, open-ended questions like 'What were you like in high school?' or 'If you could travel back in time, where would you go?' are recommended to stimulate a rich dialogue that encourages deeper interaction.

💡Self-Disclosure

The process of revealing personal information about oneself. The speaker emphasizes that sharing stories and experiences, especially in response to the questions asked, can make a person appear more attractive and relatable. This helps in building a rapport by making the conversation feel less forced.

💡Dating Horror Story

A humorous or negative story about a past dating experience. The speaker suggests sharing such a story to entertain the other person and subtly highlight high personal standards, which could increase attraction. This also serves as a way to shift from formal conversation to more personal and engaging storytelling.

💡Us vs. the World Dynamic

A conversational technique that creates a sense of unity between two people by positioning them as a team observing or interacting with the outside world. The speaker suggests this dynamic through games like 'Are They [expletive]?' to build rapport and comfort by making it feel like both people share a secret or inside joke.

💡Body Language

Non-verbal cues and physical behavior that communicate feelings and attitudes. The speaker emphasizes the importance of reading and interpreting body language during the suggested dating games, such as observing other couples to make judgments about their relationships, which helps showcase one's social intelligence.

💡Demonstrating Expertise

The act of subtly showcasing knowledge or skill in a particular area. The speaker discusses how asking the right questions, like 'Where would you travel?' or 'What’s your favorite book?' can allow someone to demonstrate their expertise in travel, literature, or history, which can be attractive traits in a dating context.

💡Storytelling

The act of sharing personal experiences or narratives to engage the listener. The speaker suggests having pre-prepared stories, such as a dating horror story or travel adventures, which can be framed in a way that highlights attractive qualities, such as confidence, standards, or worldly knowledge, during a first date conversation.

Highlights

Avoid awkward silences on dates by learning key conversation techniques.

Lead the conversation on a first date, but aim to get her to talk more for deeper engagement.

Women enjoy talking about themselves, so ask questions that allow them to share their values, dreams, and desires.

Prepare answers to potential questions to present yourself in an attractive and confident way.

Ask 'What were you like in high school?' to learn about her background and development.

Use questions that lead to effortless conversation, like 'If you could travel back to any point in history, where would you go?'

Ask 'What’s it like dating [city] guys?' to create a dynamic of familiarity and shared experiences.

Ask 'What’s your worst date horror story?' to prompt lighthearted, playful storytelling.

The 'If you could go back in time and give your 12-year-old self advice, what would it be?' question reveals insecurities and vulnerabilities.

Play the 'Are they [expletive]?' game to analyze couples’ dynamics and body language together in a subtle, playful manner.

Ask 'If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go?' to explore her dreams and reveal your own experiences.

Demonstrate your expertise by tailoring questions to your strengths, such as asking about history, books, or movies.

Reframing questions allows you to share personal experiences and stories without seeming boastful.

Asking about travel preferences can create engaging conversations and allow you to demonstrate your knowledge subtly.

Choosing conversation topics based on your expertise lets you showcase your strengths while keeping the conversation flowing.