You have to listen to yourself
Summary
TLDRThe speaker emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and authenticity over introspection and external validation. They argue that personal growth comes from embracing discomfort and change, and that true self-expression is not just about what we say or do, but also how we interact with the world. The script encourages nurturing positivity, being present, and treating oneself with kindness to foster a genuine understanding of oneself.
Takeaways
- 💡 We spend too much time thinking about who we are, instead of perceiving and expressing ourselves naturally.
- 🔍 Self-discovery is less about active learning and more about listening to how we feel in different situations.
- 🏃♂️ Running from discomfort is often running from personal growth, but embracing discomfort can lead to personal development.
- 📈 Growth comes from broadening our definition of self and making space for change, rather than confining ourselves to preconceived notions.
- 👁️ Self-awareness is about being present and noticing the parts of ourselves we often hide from the world and even from ourselves.
- 🎨 Expression isn’t limited to what we say or write; it involves how we interact with the world around us.
- 👍 It's important to recognize and appreciate yourself for simply being you, even in small achievements.
- 🌍 The universe is filled with signs of support, and it’s crucial to be present enough to recognize them.
- 💪 Positive growth happens when we are intentional about it, replacing bad habits with good ones instead of leaving a void.
- ❤️ True self-fulfillment comes from understanding and loving ourselves unconditionally, not from external validation or material success.
Q & A
What does the speaker suggest we spend too much time doing instead of truly perceiving ourselves?
-The speaker suggests that we spend too much time in thought, referencing things that aren't necessarily characteristic of us, rather than perceiving ourselves.
How does the speaker believe we can better express ourselves?
-The speaker believes that we can better express ourselves by listening to how we feel and how we are in certain situations, rather than running away from our feelings.
What does the speaker think is the key to personal growth?
-The speaker thinks the key to personal growth is the willingness to listen to oneself and the ability to create space for change and self-expression.
Why does the speaker say we should not disregard our feelings?
-The speaker says we should not disregard our feelings because running from our feelings is equivalent to running from ourselves.
What does the speaker mean by 'broadening your definition of who you are'?
-The speaker means that by expanding our understanding and acceptance of our multifaceted nature, we create space for growth and self-expression without being confined by a narrow self-image.
How does the speaker view the relationship between our aspirations and our self-expression?
-The speaker views our aspirations as integral to our self-expression, suggesting that they help define who we are and contribute to our personal progression.
What does the speaker suggest is the best way to deal with discomfort when seeking change?
-The speaker suggests that the best way to deal with discomfort when seeking change is to embrace it as a part of growth and to not avoid the parts of ourselves that seek change.
Why does the speaker believe it's important to be present and aware?
-The speaker believes it's important to be present and aware to truly see and understand all aspects of ourselves, especially the parts we may hide from the world and from ourselves.
What role does the speaker think external validation plays in our self-perception?
-The speaker thinks external validation can be misleading and that we should focus on internal validation and self-love to maintain a healthy self-perception.
How does the speaker define 'positive growth'?
-The speaker defines 'positive growth' as growth that occurs with intention and presence, leading to an agentic role in one's own change and development.
What does the speaker mean when they say 'our presence is the greatest gift we can give to ourselves'?
-The speaker means that by being fully present with ourselves, we can better understand and validate ourselves, leading to unconditional self-love and a fulfilling life.
Outlines
🧠 Embracing Self-Awareness and Expression
This paragraph explores how we often spend too much time thinking about ourselves rather than perceiving and expressing who we truly are. The speaker emphasizes that self-awareness comes from being present and listening to our feelings in different situations. Running away from discomfort is akin to running away from ourselves, and growth requires embracing change and expanding our definition of who we are. By allowing ourselves to see and accept every part of who we are, we can foster personal growth and self-awareness.
🔍 Separating Expression from Self-Criticism
The speaker explains that it is crucial to detach personal attacks from specific expressions of ourselves. This separation allows us to analyze and improve situations without feeling attacked at our core. By understanding that searching for oneself is not about finding something new but realizing what is already present, we can better listen to and understand our emotions. Running from one’s aspirations and desires prevents true self-awareness, and others' perspectives of us are filtered through their own experiences, making self-definition a personal task.
🌍 Navigating Complex Interactions and Self-Validation
Here, the focus is on understanding that everyone has their own complex life, and not every reaction we receive is about us. It is essential to recognize our own complexities without constantly comparing ourselves to others. Desiring without expectation allows us to understand that what the world offers is often what we need, not necessarily what we want. The speaker highlights that validation and confidence must come from within, not from external factors. Understanding the distinction between internal desires and external realities is key to self-growth.
💡 The Importance of Intentional Growth and Self-Exploration
This paragraph delves into the role of conscious intention in personal growth. The speaker emphasizes that while growth happens naturally, positive growth requires deliberate effort. By being present and intentional in how we navigate challenges, we can transcend negative experiences. The speaker warns against relying on external comparisons for self-growth, noting that self-exploration and positive change must be grounded in one's internal understanding rather than external perceptions or comparisons.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Self-awareness
💡Expression
💡Change
💡Discomfort
💡Positivity
💡Negativity
💡Growth
💡Presence
💡Self-love
💡Authenticity
Highlights
We spend more time thinking about ourselves than perceiving ourselves.
Our identity is more easily expressed than thought or said.
We often disregard our inherent medium of self-expression.
Learning about oneself is about willingness to listen to one's feelings.
Running from our feelings is running from ourselves.
Discomfort arises from our understanding of who we are.
Growth comes from embracing the parts of ourselves that seek change.
Broadening our definition of self allows for personal growth.
True emergence as a person comes from self-awareness.
Self-awareness is characteristic of those who allow themselves to be aware.
It's important to listen to our feelings and attitudes.
Our interactions with the world contribute to our self-expression.
We need creative outlets to express ourselves.
Giving ourselves credit for being ourselves is important.
Having a positive mentality is an affirmation of self-love.
Being present allows us to see the signs of the universe's affection.
Our life is a reflection of our willingness to nurture positivity or negativity.
Nurturing positivity makes life easier and harder in a meaningful way.
Separating ourselves from situations helps in addressing problems.
Asking 'why' is important, but understanding the motivation behind asking is crucial.
Realizing that we are already here is more important than finding ourselves.
Allowing ourselves to be expressed is key to personal growth.
Recognizing ourselves as a friend and treating ourselves well is essential.
Conscious effort and intention are necessary for personal progression.
Growth happens when we are forced to be present, whether through positive or negative experiences.
Comparing ourselves to the outside world can lead to losing track of our true selves.
Our expression of self is not limited to our thoughts but also our actions.
Replacing bad habits with good ones is necessary for personal development.
Understanding and being happy with our self-understanding brings fulfillment.
Our presence is the greatest gift we can give to ourselves.
Transcripts
I think when it comes to learning about
ourselves we spend more time in thought
about it than actually perceiving
ourselves and I feel like that's simply
because we don't realize that who we are
is much more easily expressed than it is
thought or said and when I say that I
really just mean that I feel like we
spend too much time in reference to
things that aren't necessarily
characteristic of us in saying that I
think we're more easily expressed and
thought and said I'm saying that the way
which we choose to articulate ourselves
or the way we choose to speak through
whatever language or whatever medium we
we need to to express ourselves we
disregard the fact that there already is
a medium that exists which is
you I feel like in learning about
yourself is not really about your you
know effort to learn about yourself but
more so your willingness to listen to
how you feel and how you are in certain
situations and I feel like in a lot of
ways to run from your feeling is to run
from yourself I feel like a lot of times
we spend time running away from the
parts of ourselves that seek out change
simply because it's uncomfortable but I
find that this discomfort is never
really with I guess the world around us
or the circumstance but more so
ourselves and our understanding of who
we are and sometimes I understand uh
feeling as if who you are or attributing
more to yourself somewhat jeopardizes
who you thought you were but I feel like
it's that
jeopardizes to growth it's almost like
the more you pull yourself into a cage
the more you keep yourself stagnant the
more contradictions will exist as it
pertains to your character and I find a
lot of comfort in sort of broadening
your definition of who you are to the
point where it doesn't matter how much
you attribute to yourself or how much
you gain because you've already created
enough space for that to exist and I
feel like that's where you truly emerge
as a person or at least start to take
your steps towards becoming who you
really are becoming aware of who you
really are because I feel like that type
of awareness is only characteristic of
um people who allow themselves to be
aware of it you know you have to give
yourself enough perception and you have
to open your eyes and be present enough
to see all the parts in pieces that you
sort of hide from the world especially
hide from yourself and I don't think
it's only just important to see I think
it's also very important to listen I
feel like our feelings and our attitudes
and the way we express ourselves and
each and everything that contributes to
the steps that we take in our
progression towards ourselves our goals
or
aspirations help us Define who we are I
feel like who we are being expressed is
not necessarily just like me writing or
me talking or me you know saying
something very characteristic of that
expression but also me interacting with
the world around me or interacting with
everything around me I feel like a lot
of things in life aren't necessarily
just that single expression like if I
write something it's not not necessarily
just me that's not all I am that's not
the only way I can express myself to see
myself but I feel like sometimes we need
those creative Outlets or those simple
things that sort of bring us back to
ourselves or make us feel most like
ourselves in order to sort of express
ourselves to us because I feel like a
lot of times our gratitude is not
necessar necessarily misplaced but you
know underrepresented I feel like we
don't give ourselves enough credit for
being ourselves and sometimes you need
to patch your on the back just for being
alive or being able to I guess want to
sort of continue to grow and I feel like
having that mentality or even wanting
better for yourself is sort of a
affirmation of your own love for
yourself and I feel like there's a lot
of signs out here I feel like everything
in a way is a sign of the universe's
affection and it's just important to be
present enough to see them I feel like
in making your life intimate it's not
necessarily about being delusional but
taking what you need to take from the
world I feel like all these things sort
of exist at the same time when it comes
to our positivity and negativity and
what's out there and when they say
you're either living your own personal
heaven or hell I feel like it's very
true it's just about how much you're
willing to nurture each one in order to
allow it to be expressed in your
character and when it comes to me there
was definitely a time where I feel like
I nurtured negativity but nowadays I try
to nurture the positive and since I've
been doing that like in all honesty
everything in my life has gotten easier
and in a lot of ways it's gotten harder
and when I say it's gotten hard I don't
necessarily mean my perception but in
terms of what I actually do I feel like
it's more difficult stuff but it's easy
but it's only easy because of the
affirmation and the positivity I posit
in myself you know to realize that it's
possible means I too can do it and I try
not
to degrade myself mentally at all like
even if I do bad on something or even if
if I express myself in a way I feel like
it's unbefitting of myself in the moment
I don't take it as a personal attack to
my character but a personal attack to
that specific instantiation of my
expression and I feel like once you
separate yourself from the situation in
that sense it makes it easier to see
your expression and to actually attack
the problems that led to that whatever
circumstance cuz I feel like asking why
is important but why you're asking why
is the more important attribute to to
anything that we're curious about
especially with ourselves I feel like in
our quest to find ourselves we lose it
because we're trying to search for
something that's already here and that's
already been here all long and I've said
it in videos before it's not really
about finding yourself but realizing
that you're already here and in
realizing that you're already here you
have to be present enough to see what is
here and I think that's the point of
listening to your expression or
realizing that you're more easily
expressed than
said and I feel like when it comes to
that it's really just about
how much you
allow and how much you give to yourself
in regards to that because I feel like
running from yourself isn't necessarily
just you know you're disregarding of
your feelings but you're disregarding of
your aspirations you're disregarding of
whatever you feel is inherent to you and
I'm not saying you have to do anything
um Grand in order to be yourself but I'm
saying in in an effort to understand
yourself or effort to understand your
certain expression and instantiation in
this world there has to to be some type
of subject and if you're not going to be
the medium at which you use to to sort
of see yourself then all you're left
with is how other people see you and how
other people see you is only seen
through the medium of
themselves and I'm not saying that
everyone's perspective of you was biased
I'm not saying that you know you can't
be way somebody said you were but what
I'm saying is if you're going to have
any definition for yourself which I
think you we should have you know you
have to be the one to get it I feel like
you have to vest your foundation a lot
of times in yourself in order to have
that type of Integrity to move forward
with yourself cuz it life is a very
difficult road and it definitely gets
lonely especially if the person you're
with all the time isn't someone you like
namely yourself that's why I feel like
it's important to recognize yourself as
a friend and treat yourself like one cuz
if you don't treat yourself like a
friend then you're just taking up your
own space for no reason and if you take
a space I feel like you might as well
use it you know I feel like a lot of
conscious effort and conscious intention
has to go into your progression as a
person especially if you want to do so
intimately and in a way that I feel like
is beneficial cuz while I say stuff like
this I think that people are going to
grow regardless I feel like growth is
sort of a thing that happens no matter
what but in terms of Positive Growth and
being an agent for your own change I
feel like that's where the presence and
intention comes in because I feel like
our growth really only happens in
periods where we're forced to be present
whether that be a negative experience or
a POS POS but in an effort to be present
on your own I feel like we're able to
sort of transcend those obstacles of
those negative experiences that we call
like sometimes character development
moments to the point
where you're no longer being based and
your your change and in who you are and
your growth as a person isn't
necessarily based on anyone but you and
I feel like a lot of times you can't
compete where you don't compare and we
compare ourselves to the outside world
and and so many things around us to the
point where I feel like we lose track of
who we really are and who we really are
I feel like is not the
thought and I was reading a book about
this earlier cuz I I sort of got trapped
in in myself you know thinking oh I'm
exactly as I think myself to be which is
at some in some cases true I feel like
our expression is exactly as we think it
but in limiting ourselves to the
confines of our mind I realize we're
subject to our own change and our own
bias simply because we think so and that
might sound like a little farfetched but
I feel like who we are isn't necessarily
just how we think you know there's also
a fundamental Foundation to it and I
feel like that's where the affirmation
needs to come in cuz I feel like a lot
of who we are isn't necessarily A a
thought thing but a rehearse thing and
that's why I feel like you have to break
the habit of being yourself a lot of
times in regards to that expression in
regards to that you know comfort with
life you know I feel like it's a
practice thing to see the world in sort
of an unstressed way cuz an unstressed I
se an unstressed world I feel like the
more we squint our eyes and search the
more we have obscure Vision we lose
everything around ourselves the more we
look for ourselves in things that aren't
us and that's why I feel like it's
important to sort of stay within
yourself when it comes to your
expression and especially your
perception of it cuz I feel like a lot
of times we look at our reflection we
look at how we're perceived and we take
that personally when I feel like a lot
of things in life aren't necessarily
personally but but personal to whatever
the subject of whatever you're
expressing yourself to like if I go up
to a person and they're having a bad day
and I'm just being myself and they take
me wrong or they they don't like it or
they they just shut it down it's
important for me to recognize that not
everything is inherent to me you know
everyone has their own complex life and
it's important to realize you have your
own and if you can recognize that you
have your own complex life it's
important to not live in reference to
anyone else's complexity but your own
now I'm not saying you can't be
interested in other people at all or
interested in any other thing but I feel
like there's a certain type of curiosity
you can have without questioning
yourself I feel like that's what a sort
of Desiring without expectation is sort
of is sort of grounded on understanding
that what you want and what you feel
like is inherent to you or you want to
be a part of you is not
necessarily in reference to what you
expect to happen you know the world
gives you what you need and not always
what you want and what the world doesn't
give to you you have to give to
yourself and I feel like a lot of times
it's that validation aspect and that
security aspect and that confidence and
whatever pieces and parts of ourselves
we feel like we need to validate with
external
things and I'm realizing our value is
never really been in material because
we're always looking for some sort of
external solution to an internal problem
and a lot of times the problems that we
have internally aren't really problems
as much as they are confrontation with
the idea of
ourselves and
when it comes to confrontation with that
idea I feel like it's more important to
posit positivity while you're
confronting it than negativity I feel
like we can't grow out of negativity or
at least we can't grow positively out of
negative stimulus in that way I feel
like you have to give your energy and
attention to whatever you want to be
present within that thing you you can't
replace your bad habits with absence you
know you have to replace them with
something good otherwise it's going to
be filled in by whatever the world
chooses to throw in in that spot and if
you don't open it yourself then I feel
like it makes life less intimate it
makes whatever feels that vacancy your
vacancies within yourself it makes them
less I wouldn't even say genuine but
less
intentional and I feel like our positive
intention towards creating a better
version of us creates that comfort that
we have in the world cuz if you can't
necessarily not only say pick and choose
each part of you but if you can't
understand why a certain part of you is
present or if you can't
understand your own responsibility in
your I
guess attainment of
self then I don't necessarily
know what the point is
of I guess that sort of self-
exploration I feel like a lot of what we
are and a lot of what we do is really
for self-exploration
like if I go out into this this field or
if I have these aspirations or I have
this this and other I feel like it's
because we attribute so much of
ourselves to that which we desire that
when we actually you know take the steps
to get what we desire we feel good but
it's not necessarily because we get what
we desire but because we feel like parts
of ourselves are being learned about or
are being experienced in that
acquisition of whatever we it is that
we're doing and that's why I feel like
the subtle importance should always be
placed on the self and I don't
necessarily mean that in any type of
selfish way but in a in a sort of
awareness kind of way understanding that
what motivates you at the end of the day
is always going to be you and if you're
conscious enough to realize that then
you're conscious enough to instill
motivation in just being
yourself and I feel like any type of
fulfillment or any type of comfort with
life isn't necessarily from you gaining
everything you want but you gaining an
understanding of yourself in being happy
about that
understanding because if you can wake up
with yourself and be happy for who you
are and be happy that you exist then no
matter what you do and no matter what
you face it will be
worthwhile even the negativity I
experience sometimes I laugh at like
I'll literally be like oh that's that's
funny that happened or like the world is
so beautiful or so complex because
things like that can exist but I can't
have that perspective if I'm constantly
questioning why it is that I exist
you know I feel like if we take a space
we might as well use it and we're here
and if we're going to be here we might
as well be here and in saying that I
really just means our our presence is
the greatest gift that we can give to
ourselves because if we can be present
with ourselves we're able to sort of see
who we are and if we can see who we are
we can validate ourselves with evidence
and if you can validate yourself with
evidence then you can learn to love love
yourself without condition because who
you are will be the Baseline of Your
Love or your the condition of you your
love and as long as you continue to be
yourself or as long as you continue to
be in general then your life will be
filled with the love that you place in
it um all that to say I think we're more
easily expressed than said um and if you
made it this far in the video thank you
so much and if you didn't make it this
far in the video thank you so much I
really do appreciate all you guys for
watching and tuning in um make sure you
guys are taking care of yourself
treating yourself like a friend and
doing what you need to do in order to I
guess persist you know hit up that
friend check on them check on yourself
pat yourself on the back do a couple
push-ups and give yourself a round of
applause all in all thank you keep being
yall keep being great
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