6 Therapy Skills to Stop Overthinking Everything

Summary

Licensed therapist Emma McAdam discusses strategies to combat overthinking in this video. She outlines eight methods, including noticing and naming overthinking, setting limits on rumination, and redirecting thoughts to more productive areas. Emma emphasizes the importance of recognizing triggers and suggests scheduling 'worry time' to manage overthinking. The video, sponsored by BetterHelp, encourages seeking professional help for mental health and offers a 10% discount for their online counseling services.

Takeaways

• 🔍 Overthinking can manifest as rumination about the past, worry about the future, overanalyzing decisions, and social anxiety.
• 🤔 Recognizing and naming when you're overthinking is the first step to stopping it.
• 🕒 Setting limits on overthinking by scheduling 'worry time' can help manage rumination.
• 🚫 Distraction, while sometimes necessary, should be a temporary measure and not a long-term solution to avoid dealing with problems.
• 🌟 Redirecting thoughts to something more helpful, like focusing on the present moment, can reduce overthinking.
• 💡 Practicing attention shifting can help you choose which thoughts to engage with and which to dismiss.
• 📝 Writing down your thoughts can provide a structured way to deal with them and separate them from your immediate consciousness.
• 🌱 Shifting from abstract to concrete thinking can make problems more manageable and actionable.
• 🔄 Changing the channel on your thoughts, by focusing on what you can control, can be a powerful tool against overthinking.
• 🧘‍♀️ Mindfulness and cognitive diffusion exercises can help you separate from your thoughts and choose a more helpful focus.
• 👨‍⚕️ Professional therapy, such as CBT, ACT, or metacognitive therapy, can provide structured help to overcome overthinking.

Q & A

What is the main topic of the video presented by Emma McAdam?

The main topic of the video is how to stop overthinking everything, covering various types of overthinking and providing strategies to manage it.

What is an example scenario given in the script to illustrate overthinking?

The example scenario is receiving an email from one's boss requesting a meeting without stating the reason, leading to anxiety and overthinking about potential negative outcomes.

What is the outcome of the meeting with the boss in the example scenario?

The boss offers the viewer a promotion to a managerial position with increased responsibility and pay, which was not expected and shows that the worry was unnecessary.

How many types of overthinking are mentioned in the script?

Four types of overthinking are mentioned: rumination about the past, worry about the future, overanalyzing decisions, and social anxiety.

What is the first skill discussed to stop overthinking?

The first skill to stop overthinking is noticing and naming when you are overthinking.

What does the speaker suggest doing to become better at noticing overthinking?

The speaker suggests setting an alarm to check in with oneself hourly, identifying triggers, and asking others to point out when you are overthinking.

What is the strategy for setting limits on overthinking?

The strategy for setting limits on overthinking is to postpone or schedule rumination by setting aside a specific time to worry and stick to that schedule.

How does the speaker recommend redirecting thoughts to something more helpful?

The speaker recommends practicing attention shifting by using mindfulness or cognitive diffusion exercises and visualizing shifting thoughts as changing the channel on a remote control.

What is the importance of focusing on the present moment according to the script?

Focusing on the present moment helps to shift attention away from negative thinking and rumination, grounding oneself in the current experience.

How does the speaker suggest shifting from abstract to concrete thinking?

The speaker suggests shifting from abstract thinking by asking 'what' questions instead of 'why' questions, focusing on specific, actionable details rather than overgeneralizations.

What role does distraction play in managing overthinking according to the video?

Distraction is mentioned as a short-term technique to break the cycle of overthinking, but it should not replace living a life aligned with one's values.

What professional help is offered through BetterHelp as mentioned in the script?

BetterHelp offers professional licensed counseling with therapists through video chat, which can help manage overthinking.

What are some of the upcoming video topics related to overthinking mentioned in the script?

Upcoming video topics include dealing with depressive rumination and managing social anxiety.

Outlines

00:00

🤔 Understanding Overthinking

Emma McAdam, a licensed therapist, introduces the topic of overthinking and its impact on daily life. She uses a relatable scenario where an employee anxiously anticipates a meeting with their boss, leading to excessive worrying and sleepless nights. The scenario illustrates the common cycle of overthinking, which can affect focus and productivity. Emma explains that overthinking can take various forms, such as dwelling on the past, worrying about the future, overanalyzing decisions, or experiencing social anxiety. The video aims to provide eight strategies to break this cycle and live a more balanced life, with the first step being sponsored by BetterHelp, an online counseling service.

05:05

🛠️ Tools to Combat Overthinking

The video continues with the first skill to combat overthinking: noticing and naming. Emma emphasizes the importance of recognizing when one is overthinking and suggests verbalizing it or having someone else point it out. She also advises learning one's triggers to anticipate and manage overthinking episodes. Emma shares a personal experience where she was overthinking after a meeting and how acknowledging it helped her. She suggests setting reminders to check for rumination and provides practical advice on setting limits on overthinking by scheduling 'worry time' and using writing as a tool to externalize and manage worries.

10:07

🚫 Setting Limits and Redirecting Thoughts

Emma discusses setting limits on overthinking by postponing rumination to specific times, which can be scheduled on a calendar. This approach trains the brain to expect a designated worry period, reducing its constant nagging. She recommends daily worry time with a time limit to demonstrate seriousness about managing overthinking. The video then explores attention shifting, suggesting that one can learn to separate from their thoughts and choose which to entertain. Emma introduces the concept of using a 'remote control' for thoughts, advising viewers to shift focus from negative thinking to more helpful channels, such as gratitude or actionable items within one's control.

15:09

🌿 Present Moment Awareness and Concrete Thinking

The fourth strategy presented is to shift focus to the present moment, using senses to anchor oneself in the current environment and away from negative thoughts. Emma encourages viewers to engage with their surroundings and bodily sensations to break the cycle of rumination. The fifth strategy involves moving from abstract to concrete thinking, replacing vague, unhelpful questions with specific, actionable ones. This shift helps in identifying small, manageable steps towards improvement rather than getting stuck in a loop of unproductive self-reflection.

🔄 Shifting to Values and Considering Distraction

Emma advises shifting focus from overthinking to one's values, which can guide actions towards a more meaningful life. She suggests that overthinking can lead to isolation, and it's essential to reverse this by taking small steps towards what one values. The video also touches on the use of distraction as a short-term technique to break the cycle of overthinking, cautioning against letting it become an avoidance mechanism that detracts from living a fulfilling life.

👩‍⚕️ Seeking Professional Help

The final paragraph discusses the benefits of therapy in managing overthinking, mentioning approaches like CBT for rumination, ACT for cognitive diffusion, and metacognitive therapy. Emma encourages viewers to seek help if overthinking is significantly impacting their life and assures that upcoming videos will delve into specific strategies for dealing with depressive rumination and social anxiety.

Keywords

💡Overthinking

Overthinking refers to the excessive and repetitive contemplation of a situation or problem, often leading to unnecessary stress and anxiety. In the video, overthinking is the central issue being addressed, with the speaker providing various strategies to manage it. For example, the speaker describes a scenario where an individual overthinks a meeting with their boss, leading to worry and sleepless nights.

💡Rumination

Rumination is a form of overthinking where one repeatedly ponders over past events, often with a negative bias. It is one of the four types of overthinking mentioned in the video. Rumination is linked to feelings of regret and can prevent individuals from moving forward, as illustrated by the speaker's discussion of its impact on mental health.

💡Worry

Worry is a term used in the video to describe the anxiety and concern about future events or outcomes. It is another type of overthinking that can lead to a constant state of unease and distraction. The video provides strategies to manage worry, such as scheduling 'worry time' to limit its impact on daily life.

💡Overanalyzing

Overanalyzing is the act of examining a decision or situation in excessive detail, often leading to indecision and increased stress. It is one of the types of overthinking discussed in the video. The speaker advises viewers to be aware of this tendency and to practice setting limits on the time spent overanalyzing decisions.

💡Social Anxiety

Social anxiety is the fear of social situations that may lead to embarrassment or humiliation. It is mentioned as a type of overthinking in the video. The speaker uses the example of questioning one's actions in social settings, such as wondering why one said something, to illustrate how social anxiety can lead to overthinking.

💡Triggers

Triggers are situations or events that provoke a specific response, such as overthinking. In the context of the video, triggers are identified as a key component in managing overthinking, as recognizing them can help individuals prepare to deal with the tendency to ruminate. The speaker suggests learning one's triggers to better control overthinking.

💡Attention Shifting

Attention shifting is the act of deliberately changing the focus of one's thoughts from a negative or unhelpful train of thought to a more positive or constructive one. The video emphasizes this as a skill that can be learned and practiced to combat overthinking. The speaker provides examples of using mindfulness exercises to shift attention away from overthinking.

💡Mindfulness

Mindfulness is a mental state of being fully present and engaged in the current moment, which can help in managing overthinking by redirecting focus away from repetitive thoughts. The video suggests using mindfulness practices to become more aware of one's thoughts and to shift attention to the present moment.

💡Cognitive Diffusion

Cognitive diffusion is a psychological technique used to reduce the impact of negative thoughts by changing their meaning or the way they are perceived. The video mentions cognitive diffusion as a skill that can be learned to manage overthinking, such as by visualizing thoughts as something external that can be changed or controlled.

💡Locus of Control

Locus of control refers to the degree to which individuals believe they have control over the events that affect them. In the video, the speaker discusses the importance of shifting thoughts to focus on aspects of life that are within one's control, as a way to reduce overthinking and increase personal agency.

💡Therapy

Therapy is a professional service provided by licensed therapists to help individuals address and manage personal issues, including overthinking. The video mentions BetterHelp as a platform for accessing therapy and describes it as a valuable tool for gaining customized support to improve mental health and break the cycle of overthinking.

Highlights

Introduction to the problem of overthinking and its impact on daily life.

Description of a common scenario that triggers overthinking.

The realization that overthinking can lead to unnecessary worry.

Identification of four types of overthinking: rumination, worry, overanalyzing, and social anxiety.

Introduction to eight ways to stop overthinking.

Sponsored content about BetterHelp and its services.

The first skill to stop overthinking: noticing and naming.

Learning to identify triggers for overthinking.

The importance of setting limits on overthinking.

Scheduling worry time as a strategy to manage overthinking.

Practicing attention shifting to redirect thoughts.

Using the present moment as an antidote to overthinking.

Shifting from abstract to concrete thinking to break the cycle of overthinking.

Focusing on personal values to redirect overthinking.

The role of distraction as a short-term technique to stop overthinking.

The benefits of professional therapy in addressing overthinking.

Upcoming videos on specific types of overthinking and how to deal with them.

Conclusion and call to action for viewers to apply the learned skills.

Transcripts

Hi, everyone. I'm Emma McAdam.  I'm a licensed therapist.  

And in this video we're going to be talking  about how to stop overthinking everything.

Okay. Your boss emails you. He wants to meet  with you in two days. He doesn't say why.  

Your heart drops. You feel sick. "What did I do  wrong?" you think. Uh "He's gonna fire me," you  

think. You spend the next two days obsessing over  every little thing that you've done, every little  

thing he said. You're looking for clues at night.  You lay awake. Your brain won't shut up. It just  

rehashes everything at work over and over and  over. And then during the day you have a hard  

time focusing. You struggle to complete tasks. You  catch yourself zoning out and just worrying about  

what he's going to say. You start asking your  coworkers and managers for any clues. Your spouse  

is getting tired of hearing your endless worries.  And finally the time comes for your meeting,  

and you walk into his office with your heart just  sinking. Your boss looks stressed. He looks tense.  

"Take a seat," he says, and then he tells you  that the manager above you is quitting and he was  

wondering if you'd like to take the role. It comes  with more responsibility but also better pay.  

He tells you that he's heard a lot of good things  that you're doing and that he thinks you're  

perfect fit for the job. You're thrilled. And  while the new position will take some training,  

it's a great move for you. You breathe a sigh  of relief. All that worrying was for nothing.  

You say thank you, you smile, and you leave the  office. Then as you walk out, you immediately  

start obsessing about why you were such an  idiot to worry so much. "What's the matter  

with me?" you say, and then you start worrying  about your new job. "Will I be good enough?  

Can I handle it?" And the cycle of overthinking  starts all over again. Does that sound familiar?  

If you're an overthinker, you know this cycle  well. And it's easy to feel helpless to stop  

the constant cycle of overthinking and worrying.  Now, there's at least four types of overthinking:  

rumination about the past, worry about the future,  overanalyzing decisions, and social anxiety - as  

in, you know, "Why did I say that?" Right? But  you can learn the skills to stop overthinking.  

So in this video you're going to learn eight ways  to stop overthinking and get back to living your  

life. This video is sponsored by BetterHelp, where  you can get professional licensed counseling from  

the comfort of your own home. BetterHelp  employs licensed therapists in your state  

or your region who you can contact through video  chat, and they can help walk you through the  

thought patterns that are super destructive to  help you improve your mental health. Now, therapy  

is this amazing process where you get customized  support on the issues that you're working on,  

and I think it's a pretty incredible process.  BetterHelp just makes it a lot easier to access  

that therapist. So if you'd like to learn more,  please check out the link in the description  

for 10% off. The very first skill to stop  overthinking is noticing and naming. Right?  

So rumination or overthinking is a bad habit  that we're often not aware that we're doing.  

So the very first thing is to get really good at  identifying overthinking and just say it out loud:  

"I'm overthinking." You could also ask someone  to point it out to you. Another way to get good  

at noticing is to learn your triggers. What  time of day are you most likely to ruminate?  

Where are you most likely to overthink? Is it at  work? Is it when you're alone? Is it when you're  

at the bar? What kind of situations trigger  it? Just try to predict it. So if you're most  

likely to overthink something right as you  go to bed or right after a social situation,  

prepare yourself to notice it so that you  shift your focus to something more helpful.  

Once I was in a meeting and I said some stuff  that was a little bit, I don't know, emotionally  

reactive about a situation that we were working  as a team to deal with, and afterwards I texted  

everyone in the meeting. I was like, "Oh, guys,  I'm sorry I said that," and someone pointed out  

to me, "Emma, you're overthinking it." And I  was like, "You know what, you're right. I am,"  

and that helped me to separate myself from kind  of the distress around that situation. If you're  

struggling to catch yourself overthinking, you  could also set an alarm on your phone to go off  

once an hour, and um then when that phone goes  off just check and see if you're ruminating,  

how much you've been ruminating that hour.  And you just track it for a week. Right?  

So in general most people tend to ruminate when  they have nothing to occupy their attention.  

Okay. So now that you've gotten good at noticing  when you're overthinking, we're going to take two  

approaches. The first approach is setting limits  on overthinking, and the second approach is to  

learn a bunch of ways to redirect your thoughts  to something more helpful. Okay. So let's start  

with some limits. So the second strategy with  overthinking is to postpone or schedule your  

rumination. And I'm using the terms rumination  and overthinking interchangeably here. Right?  

So if you're gonna schedule or postpone your  rumination, say, "I'll deal with this later" or  

"I'll worry about this at 2 pm." You can put it on  your calendar. Right? This sends a message to your  

brain to stop nagging you because you're going  to address the issue. This is super powerful,  

and you'll learn that you really have a lot  more influence over your worry than you thought.  

Now, if you're just starting out with noticing  your your worries and starting to postpone them,  

a really great practice is to schedule worry time  every day for one month just to show your brain  

that you're serious about this, and then you just  set a time limit on how long you're gonna worry or  

problem solve. So you'll say, "Okay. Every day at  2 pm I will work on, I will worry for 35 minutes,  

and then I'll go back to doing what's important  to me." And remember - I really like this saying  

- "Never worry in your head. Do it on paper. Write  it down." Right? There's a lot of different ways  

to write it down. You can do a free-write. Do a  locus-of-control activity, a pros and cons list,  

or a brain dump. And when you schedule that  worry, it shows your brain that there's a time  

and a place for worry and a time and a place for  not worrying. When you set those limits on it,  

your brain will - your brain likes boundaries.  It likes boundaries. So schedule worry. Okay.  

Number three: Now that we've set some limits,  it's time to practice attention shifting. Your  

brain is a thought machine. It's going to  constantly crank out hundreds of thoughts  

an hour. But you don't have to believe everything  you think. So just because the thought is loud or  

frequent or intense, it doesn't mean it's true or  helpful. There's a deeper you than your thoughts.  

Now, you are the referee. So you can learn  to separate yourself from your thoughts,  

and when you do that you get to choose which  thoughts you'll buy and which ones you won't. This  

is a skill that you can learn. You can practice it  with mindfulness or cognitive diffusion exercises.  

And I've made a bunch of these on my channel. So  check those out if you'd like to learn them. Now,  

as you get good at noticing your thoughts,  it can also help people if they visualize  

shifting thoughts as changing the channel.  So imagine that you've got a remote control  

for your thoughts, and you click the channel  button to shift what you want to be focused on.  

So you might shift from just compulsive  worry to, oh, what are you grateful for? Or  

you might shift from thinking about all the  things you can't control to what can you  

control. Or you might shift from seeing everything  as awful to, oh, what might be a more helpful way  

of thinking about this situation? So usually  when we're talking about changing the channel,  

it means we're switching to things that are really  specific, that are in your locus of control,  

and that are action-oriented. These channels  tend to be more helpful uses of your energy  

than just sitting there spinning your mental  wheels. Okay. So number four: Now that you've  

learned to catch yourself when you're overthinking  and to watch those thoughts instead of getting too  

sucked into them, now you're going to learn some  really practical ways to shift your thinking to  

something more helpful. Nature abhors a vacuum,  so if you just try to stop overthinking or if you  

aren't choosing where to put your focus, you may  fall back into the habit of rumination. So let's  

start with an antidote that's always available  to us. It's the present moment. So I'm going to  

ask you to turn your attention away from your  inner world of negative thinking and turn your  

attention toward the outer world of your present  moment. That includes the people you're with  

or the activities you're doing. And we can  demonstrate this with a window with words on it.  

It's it's easy to get really focused on these  words, but if we shift our focus to what's beyond  

them, we can see that even if this thought exists  there's a beautiful world right here, right now.  

So in this moment I'm going to ask you to use  your senses. What can you see in the here and now?  

Get out of your mind and into your body.  What can you feel in your body right now?

Can you notice yourself breathing?

We can shift to noticing the present  moment, and that can move us away  

from these repetitive, ruminative  thoughts. Now, this is a skill,  

and I know it can be really hard.  When I'm stressed about a big problem  

it's hard not to dwell on it. But you can learn to  shift your attention. And the more you practice,  

the easier it becomes. Okay. Number five  is learn to shift from abstract thinking to  

concrete thinking. So abstract or vague thinking  sounds like overgeneralizations. It sounds like  

things like, "Oh, why can't I ever get my needs  met? Why can't I be happy like my friends?"  

It leads to self-loathing and helplessness. So  instead of focusing on these big, vague problems,  

focus on one or two details, and look for  small things that you can actually act on.  

And this involves asking kind of the right kind of  questions. So "why" questions almost always lead  

to a cycle of rumination. For example, you know,  "Why am I such a failure? Why are people so  

hateful? Why am I so depressed? Why do I overthink  so much? What's the matter with me?" Right? Not  

one of these questions leads to action. I had a  client who I told that "why" is now a swear word.  

Every time he brings it up, he has to put money in  a swear jar. So his wife started calling him out  

on it, and he was able to catch himself using it  all the time and then start to shift to something  

better. So instead of saying, "Why me? Why do I  have to deal with depression?" he started asking,  

"What is one small thing I can do today for my  mental health?" And he usually ended up going  

for a walk outside or reading a book, and both  of these were more helpful than pondering why  

he was depressed. Let me give you another  example. So instead of asking, you know,  

"Why can't I ever succeed at a relationship?" you  could ask "whats." You could - instead of asking,  

"Why can't I ever succeed at relationships?" you  could ask, "What is one relationship skill I can  

work on?" Now, if you don't know where to start,  I've got a whole course with 30 relationship  

skills. Right? So it's much more practical to  pick one step to work on than it is to ask, "Oh,  

why am I such a failure at relationships?"  Okay. Number five: Shift from overthinking  

to your values. Focusing a lot on overthinking is  not going to stop it. Obsessing about overthinking  

is not going to stop it. Because when it comes to  thoughts, trying to make them go away backfires.  

It's like the proverbial pink elephant. If  you try not to think about a pink elephant,  

then you do. Now, before we can even start to  change overthinking, we have to know what we  

do want more of in our life. So instead of just  distracting yourself, let's get good at shifting  

to what you really care about. You can retrain  your brain to use its energy in a helpful way.  

So this might include being more present with our  kids, being able to relax, taking helpful action,  

or living a meaningful life. So if you want  to shift from this chronic overthinking,  

you may want to ask yourself what  is most important to you right now?  

Or what do you want your life to be about?  With overthinking, your tendency is to withdraw  

and isolate, so you need to reverse that, even  if it's just one step at a time. So explore your  

values. Um you could do the values exercise  from video 26 in my How to Process Emotions  

course if you want to get clear on this. And that  whole course is on YouTube. It's on a playlist  

um called How to Process Your Emotions. Okay.  Number six: The last skill is distraction.  

Distraction is one of my least favorite tools  because it can so quickly lead to avoidance,  

which actually makes problems worse because when  we're avoiding life, we're also avoiding the  

things we care about. So it's obvious that you  can temporarily stop overthinking by endlessly  

watching Netflix or scrolling through TikTok,  but then your life starts to lose its meaning  

and its purpose and its joy. But but  since we are trying to rewire a bad habit,  

you can use distraction as a short-term technique  to basically try to break those ruts. Just don't  

let distraction take over living the life that you  value. You've got to face your problems directly,  

and then spend time doing something else that you  actually care about, like gardening or exercising.  

Now, if overthinking is interfering with  your life, it's awesome to get some help.  

Therapy is cool, and it can be really helpful.  There's a couple of approaches a professional can  

take to help you. There's CBT for rumination, ACT  is really good at teaching cognitive diffusion,  

and also there's metacognitive therapy. And I'll  link to an article below if you want to learn more  

about that. Now, in upcoming videos we're going  into a lot more detail about very specific steps  

you can take to deal with depressive rumination,  which is overthinking about the past and regrets  

and mistakes. And then in another video on social  anxiety, you'll learn skills to stop worrying  

about what you said and, you know, obsessing about  what other people think about you. So I hope you  

stay tuned. I hope you find this video helpful.  Thank you so much for watching, and take care.