Catastrophizing: How to Stop Making Yourself Depressed and Anxious: Cognitive Distortion Skill #6

Summary

In this insightful video, Emma McAdam, a licensed marriage and family therapist, delves into the concept of catastrophizing—the tendency to expect the worst—which fuels anxiety and depression. She illustrates the issue with a gripping story and offers practical strategies to combat this cognitive distortion, including embracing uncertainty, reframing negative thoughts, and focusing on positive goals. The video encourages viewers to face life's challenges with courage and vulnerability, fostering a healthier mindset.

Takeaways

• 😨 Catastrophizing is a cognitive distortion where one imagines the worst possible outcome in a situation, leading to anxiety and depression.
• 🛠️ The video provides three strategies to combat catastrophizing: ensuring good sleep, accepting uncertainty, and motivating through positive goals.
• 🚫 Catastrophizing often starts with a genuine setback and escalates into imagining disastrous consequences.
• 🧐 It's important to recognize catastrophizing thoughts, which often include exaggerated words like 'never', 'terrible', and 'fail'.
• 🤯 Catastrophizing can lead to a self-fulfilling prophecy where the negative expectations invite the problems one is trying to avoid.
• 💪 Challenging catastrophizing involves noticing the thought pattern, pausing to question its validity, and choosing more rational and helpful thoughts.
• 🛌 A good night's rest can improve one's ability to face challenges and reduce the impact of catastrophizing thoughts.
• 🤝 Accepting uncertainty as a part of life can help in developing emotional resilience against the negative effects of catastrophizing.
• 🏆 Motivating oneself through positive goals and values can be a healthier approach than using fear, which can lead to long-term depression and anxiety.
• 🔄 The process of overcoming catastrophizing includes noticing, pausing, exploring, and choosing better thoughts to replace the negative ones.
• 🌱 Embracing vulnerability and staying engaged in life despite the risks can lead to a more fulfilling life and prevent the paralysis caused by catastrophizing.

Q & A

What is catastrophizing according to Emma McAdam?

Catastrophizing is expecting the worst and interpreting current or future situations as catastrophes, which can lead to anxiety, depression, and a negative impact on one's life.

Why does Emma McAdam say catastrophizing can ruin your life?

Catastrophizing can ruin your life because it leads to anxiety and depression by imagining the worst possible outcomes, which can cause people to avoid opportunities and become paralyzed by fear.

What is the story of the man driving on a dark rural road and what does it illustrate?

The story illustrates the process of catastrophizing. The man gets a flat tire and, instead of calmly seeking help, he imagines a series of increasingly negative outcomes, leading to him reacting angrily and closing himself off from potential help.

How does catastrophizing start according to the script?

Catastrophizing often starts with a genuine setback, such as getting a flat tire, and then escalates as the person starts to imagine a series of negative outcomes, believing that something horrible is likely to happen.

What are the common examples of catastrophizing mentioned in the script?

Examples include an anxious person imagining losing control, a depressed person envisioning a future of constant sadness, a person fearing lifelong loneliness if they don't find love, and a teen feeling rejected if not included in a text group.

How does catastrophizing affect our motivation and opportunities?

Catastrophizing can lead to a lack of motivation and a withdrawal from life due to the belief that future outcomes are hopeless and dreary. It also closes individuals off to opportunities and options that might work, leading to a sense of paralysis.

Why do people continue to catastrophize despite its negative effects?

People continue to catastrophize because it serves a dysfunctional function, such as a coping strategy to avoid feeling risk or uncertainty, or because they believe that fear is the best motivator.

What are the three strategies Emma McAdam suggests to stop catastrophizing?

The three strategies are: 1) Start with a good night's rest to face challenges more bravely. 2) Accept uncertainty as a natural part of life and change how you think about anxiety. 3) Motivate yourself by what you want in life, using positive goals instead of fear.

How does Emma McAdam describe the process of challenging catastrophizing thoughts?

The process involves noticing when you are catastrophizing, pausing to question the validity of these thoughts, exploring alternatives, and choosing to replace them with more honest and helpful thoughts.

What is the role of vulnerability in overcoming catastrophizing according to the script?

Vulnerability is the potential for both success and getting hurt. It is essential in overcoming catastrophizing because it requires staying engaged even when there's a risk of things not going perfectly, which is the only alternative to guaranteeing failure.

How does Emma McAdam relate acceptance and commitment therapy to dealing with catastrophizing?

Acceptance and commitment therapy helps in dealing with catastrophizing by training individuals to get better at feeling and opening themselves up to the emotions that come with living the life they value. This approach helps in embracing life and its risks, joys, and loves, which can lead to overcoming catastrophizing.

Outlines

00:00

😨 Understanding Catastrophizing

Emma McAdam introduces the concept of catastrophizing, a cognitive distortion where individuals anticipate the worst possible outcomes in various situations, leading to anxiety and depression. She uses a narrative of a man stranded with a flat tire to illustrate how catastrophizing can escalate from a minor inconvenience to imagined catastrophic scenarios, affecting one's actions and emotions. The summary highlights the negative impacts of catastrophizing on mental health and the tendency for such thought patterns to become habitual, leading to a cycle of depression and anxiety.

05:07

🤯 The Consequences of Catastrophizing

This paragraph delves into the detrimental effects of catastrophizing on an individual's life. It explains how expecting the worst can paradoxically invite negative outcomes, as the man in the story exemplifies by slamming the door on potential help. Catastrophizing is shown to lead to a cycle of depression by reducing serotonin and dopamine levels, and it can also incite anxiety by perceiving threats everywhere. The paragraph discusses the dysfunctional reasons behind catastrophizing, such as using fear as a coping mechanism or a misguided form of motivation, and emphasizes the importance of recognizing and changing these thought patterns.

10:12

🛌 Strategies to Combat Catastrophizing

Emma provides actionable strategies to help viewers overcome the habit of catastrophizing. She suggests starting with ensuring adequate sleep to reduce hypersensitivity to threats and increase resilience. Accepting uncertainty as a part of life is the second strategy, which involves reframing how one perceives anxiety and building emotional muscles to handle uncomfortable emotions. The third strategy is to motivate oneself with positive goals and values rather than fear. The paragraph outlines a cognitive-behavioral approach to ending catastrophizing, which includes noticing, pausing, exploring, and choosing more rational thoughts over catastrophic ones.

15:13

💪 Embracing Vulnerability and Growth

The final paragraph emphasizes the importance of embracing vulnerability and staying engaged with life despite the risks of failure or rejection. It discusses the process of acceptance and commitment therapy, which encourages individuals to feel their emotions fully and live according to their values, even when faced with uncertainty and risk. The summary points out that by challenging catastrophizing thoughts and choosing more helpful perspectives, one can achieve a more fulfilling life. The paragraph concludes with a note on the remake of the video to improve its quality and effectiveness in conveying the message.

Keywords

💡Catastrophizing

Catastrophizing is the act of expecting the worst possible outcome in any situation, often leading to anxiety and depression. In the video, it is described as a cognitive distortion where individuals interpret difficult situations as being unmanageable and disastrous. The man in the story catastrophizes by imagining the farmer will be hostile and even violent, which prevents him from seeking help.

💡Anxiety

Anxiety is a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome. The video discusses how catastrophizing can lead to anxiety by causing individuals to envision negative outcomes, such as failing a test and subsequently facing a series of unfortunate life events.

💡Depression

Depression is a mental health condition characterized by persistent feelings of sadness, hopelessness, and a lack of interest or pleasure in activities. In the context of the video, catastrophizing is linked to depression because the constant expectation of the worst can lead to a bleak outlook on life and a lack of motivation.

💡Cognitive Distortion

A cognitive distortion refers to a biased or irrational way of thinking that can lead to inaccurate perceptions and emotional distress. The video presents catastrophizing as a common cognitive distortion where individuals exaggerate the negative aspects of a situation, leading to unnecessary anxiety and depression.

💡Jack

In the video, the 'jack' is a tool used to lift a car when changing a tire. The story uses the absence of a jack to symbolize a setback that triggers the man's catastrophizing thoughts. His inability to change the tire without a jack leads him to imagine a series of negative outcomes when seeking help.

💡Uncertainty

Uncertainty refers to the state of being unsure or the inability to predict an outcome. The video encourages viewers to accept uncertainty as a natural part of life. It suggests that embracing uncertainty can help reduce the tendency to catastrophize and lead to a more fulfilling life.

💡Mindfulness

Mindfulness is the practice of being fully present and engaged in the moment without judgment. The video suggests using mindfulness and meditation as a way to develop emotional resilience and to better handle the anxiety that can accompany catastrophizing thoughts.

💡Motivation

Motivation in the video is discussed in the context of using fear versus using positive goals to drive behavior. Fear-based motivation, such as catastrophizing, is said to be unsustainable and can lead to negative emotions, whereas motivation derived from personal values and aspirations can be more effective and fulfilling.

💡CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy)

CBT is a form of psychological treatment that helps individuals understand and change thought patterns that lead to harmful actions or feelings. The video outlines a CBT approach to ending catastrophizing, which includes noticing, pausing, exploring, and choosing more rational thoughts to replace the catastrophic ones.

💡Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)

ACT is a psychological approach that helps individuals develop psychological flexibility by accepting the present moment and committing to actions that align with their values. The video mentions ACT as a process that trains individuals to feel emotions fully and embrace the risks and rewards of living according to their values, which can counteract the effects of catastrophizing.

💡Vulnerability

Vulnerability in the video is presented as the willingness to face uncertainty, risk, and even potential emotional pain. It is contrasted with the tendency to catastrophize, which can lead to avoidance and missed opportunities. Embracing vulnerability is seen as a path to success and personal growth.

Highlights

Catastrophizing is defined as expecting the worst and can lead to anxiety and depression.

Emma McAdam introduces three actionable steps to stop catastrophizing.

A story illustrates the process of catastrophizing, involving a man with a flat tire and escalating negative thoughts.

Catastrophizing is identified as a cognitive distortion that interprets situations as unrecoverable catastrophes.

Examples are given of how catastrophizing can manifest in different scenarios, such as school tests and relationships.

The negative impact of catastrophizing on motivation and opportunities is discussed.

Catastrophizing can lead to a cycle of depression by reducing serotonin and dopamine levels.

The role of catastrophizing in anxiety is explained, including the fight/flight/freeze response.

The reasons behind catastrophizing are explored, including as a coping strategy and a misguided form of motivation.

The importance of changing thought patterns to avoid the negative effects of catastrophizing is emphasized.

Strategies to combat catastrophizing include getting a good night's rest and accepting uncertainty.

The video suggests using positive goals and values as motivation instead of fear.

A Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) approach to ending catastrophizing is outlined.

The process of noticing, pausing, exploring, and choosing thoughts is described as a method to challenge catastrophizing.

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is introduced as a process to embrace life's emotions and values.

The video concludes with an encouragement to face life's risks and joys courageously.

The video is a remake to improve upon a previous version, showing a commitment to providing quality content.

Transcripts

Hi, everyone. I'm Emma McAdam. I'm a licensed  marriage and family therapist. And in this  

video we're going to talk about catastrophizing,  which is expecting the worst. Catastrophizing  

is an excellent way to make yourself anxious and  depressed and completely ruin your life. Oh, yeah,  

and I'm going to teach you three things you can do  to stop catastrophizing. So let's talk about that.

Late one night a man was driving along a dark  rural road. He was out far from any towns,  

and he was just trying to get home. All of  a sudden he hears a loud bang and the thump  

thump thump of a flat tire. He's irritated, but no  need to panic; he knows how to change a tire. So  

he gets out of the car, he gets into the trunk, he  pulls out the spare tire and the lug wrench. And  

then he realizes with a sinking feeling that his  jack is missing. You can't change a tire without a  

jack. Then he checks his phone and he doesn't have  reception. So now he's stuck. As he's wondering  

what to do, he looks down the road and he sees  a porch light a long ways away. It looks like a  

little farmhouse. And he decides to walk over and  ask the farmer if he could borrow a jack. The walk  

was long and dark. And at one point he trips over  a pothole and he falls and he tears a hole in his  

pants. And he just he keeps stumbling along in  the dark, worrying about what he's going to do.  

It's dark, it's late, and he starts to imagine  what will happen when he reaches the farmhouse.  

The farmer will probably already be in bed.  He'll probably be cranky about being woken up.  

But the man keeps walking. And as he walks through  the dark, other thoughts come to him. What if the  

farmer doesn't have a jack? Farmers have guns.  What if he pulls that out? The farmer's probably  

going to sic a huge dog on him. What if the farmer  realizes that the man's alone and he robs him?  

He thinks, "I don't deserve to be treated that  way. None of this is fair." And at this point  

the man is scared, but he's also getting angry.  He knows that this farmer is going to be a jerk,  

but he still needs his jack. So he walks up to  the front door and he knocks. And as he waits  

for a response, he imagines this angry farmer  screaming at him, threatening him, chasing him,  

shooting him. And he hears footsteps. The door  swings open, and a man says, "Can I help you?"  

And the stranded man, all red-faced and  angry, yells, "I don't want your dang  

jack anyway!" and he grabs the door and  he slams it shut and he storms away. Now,  

catastrophizing is a common cognitive distortion  or thinking error. It's when we think of a current  

or future situation as a catastrophe. So for  example, you worry that you're gonna fail a test,  

and then you imagine what would happen when you  do fail. You're gonna get kicked out of school.  

You're going to end up working a dead-end job,  fail at life, and die homeless on the street.  

And all of this because of a test at school.  Catastrophizing is imagining the worst.  

It's taking a difficult situation and  interpreting it as being horrible, terrible,  

and unrecoverable. We all know that person who if  they get a B on a test wails, "I'm failing math."  

Right? Many of us have had a parent who when  we didn't want to do our chores, they said  

something like, "Oh, if you don't do your chores,  your college roommates will hate you and no one  

will want to marry you." Right? Like in the story  about the jack, catastrophizing often starts with  

a genuine setback, like getting a flat tire in  the middle of nowhere. But then the thinking error  

turns that reality into a belief that something  horrible is likely to happen. "I'm gonna get shot  

or robbed and attacked." Right? At its root,  catastrophizing is about our habitual response  

to challenges or shortcomings. So take a second  pause, this video, and ask yourself how do you  

think about failure? When these habits, these  thinking habits become part of a repeated pattern,  

they lead to depression or anxiety, and people  tend to imagine that they'll never be able  

to recover. So here's some common examples.  Someone with anxiety imagines losing control  

of himself. So for example, a man with a panic  disorder predicts that if he goes to the mall  

on a weekend afternoon, he'll have a panic attack  ,and then he predicts that having a panic attack  

would be a catastrophe rather than  just being really uncomfortable.  

Or a woman with depression envisions herself being  depressed forever and never feeling happy again.  

Or a 30-year-old man imagines himself never  finding love and imagining that if he doesn't,  

he will be plagued by intense feelings of  loneliness 24/7 from now until he dies.  

Right? Or a teen equates not being in a text  group with being totally rejected by everyone.  

So how does catastrophizing mess us up? We have  all experienced some tragedies in our life,  

including painful rejection or failure, and I  think that we trick ourselves into believing  

that if we can expect the worst we can prevent  it. But in reality, usually the exact opposite  

happens. So think about the man from the jack  story. Because he feared getting rejected,  

he slammed the door shut himself. He cut  himself off from the opportunity to get  

the solution he needed because he was thinking  about everything that could go wrong. Seeing  

the worst often invites the worst. Not only  do we cut ourselves off from opportunities,  

but we invite the exact problems we're hoping to  avoid. So if we go into a conversation expecting  

the other person to get defensive, we often lead  off by being harsher or more rigid, inviting the  

other to be more defensive. If you expect that  your crush will reject you if you ask her out,  

then you don't ask her out. You end up alone on  the weekend. Catastrophizing invites depression.  

When we imagine a future that is bleak,  threatening, or hopeless, then our brain  

responds by putting out less serotonin and  dopamine. These are the happiness, pleasure,  

and motivation chemicals. So why be happy or  hopeful when the future is impossibly dreary?  

This leads to a cycle of withdrawal from life, a  lack of motivation, and a pattern of depression.  

Catastrophizing also invites anxiety. It  forces our brain to see threats and failure  

everywhere. And our brain responds to perceived  threats with a very real physical fear response,  

the fight/flight/freeze response. And this  contributes to social anxiety, general anxiety,  

panic attacks, and more. Expecting the  worst makes us hopeless and depressed  

about the future. It makes us unmotivated. Why  try if I'm just gonna fail? And it also enables  

us to wallow in self-pity. Catastrophizing  closes us off to opportunities and options  

that might work, and it leads to this sense of  paralysis. So if catastrophizing is so harmful,  

why do we keep doing it? At this point I've  got to pause because some of you out there  

have started this super unhelpful thought process  of "Yeah, why am I such an idiot? I am so broken.  

See, I am defective because I do this stuff."  Okay. You need to stop that. Take a deep breath.  

You are not defective. You might be doing  something that's not working well for you,  

but that doesn't mean you're bad or broken. It  means you can change and get feeling better.  

So if you need to, pause this video and take a  second to be kind to yourself and practice some  

courage. Changing how we think takes work, but you  can do hard things. Okay. So let's go back to the  

question, why do we catastrophize? Well, it serves  a function, albeit a dysfunctional one. We do it  

for one of two reasons. Number one: preparing  for the worst is a coping strategy, preventing us  

from feeling risk or uncertainty. So if I expect  myself to fail, I won't be disappointed if I do.  

If I reject myself first, then I don't have  to worry that my crush will do it to me.  

Catastrophizing is an attempt to avoid feelings,  to protect ourselves from feeling sadness or  

worry. But the crazy thing is that when we try  not to feel, we often end up more depressed and  

anxious. So expecting the worst also justifies us  for not even trying, and it attempts to excuse our  

failure before we put in any effort. So no wonder  it feels more comfortable than putting your heart  

out there. It's comfortable in the short term, but  it crushes the joy out of life in the long run.  

When you catastrophize, you're not risking  failure, but you can't have success. You're not  

getting rejected, but you're still alone on the  weekend. Okay. Dysfunctional function number two:  

sometimes we think or we've been trained to  believe that the best motivation is fear,  

that in order to motivate ourselves to study or to  go to work we have to predict doom and gloom. Fear  

as motivation works briefly, but in the long run  it makes us depressed and anxious and overwhelmed  

and less functional. Let me use a school anxiety  example. So a kid's not going to school because of  

anxiety. The parents also feel anxious about this,  so they go into a room and say, "You have to get  

up or else you are going to ruin your life. You  have to go to school or you'll never get a good  

job," etc., etc. And in the short term this gets  the kid out of bed and into school. But then she  

spends the rest of her day worrying about being  a failure, and the next day she has even more  

anxiety and it's even harder to get motivated  to go to school. So do you do this? Do you  

try to give yourself a pep talk but it's really  more of a fear talk? We or our parents may have  

used fear in the past as a strong motivator, but  it's just not a sustainable source of motivation.  

So let's find something that's more functional  than our self-justifying, self-defeating  

catastrophizing. So first off, try to start with  a good night's rest. When we're sleep-deprived,  

we're hypersensitive to threats and we're less  resilient in the face of challenges. When you're  

rested you'll have a greater ability to face  these challenges bravely. Okay. Number two: accept  

uncertainty as a natural and acceptable part of  living a wholehearted life. This is a fundamental  

life skill that can be developed and practiced.  It involves changing how you think about anxiety.  

So instead of labeling anxiety as bad or harmful  or terrible or "I can't handle it," you say,  

"Well, this is uncomfortable, but it won't  injure me." You say, "I can do hard things."  

Courage is not the absence of fear but the  judgment that something else is more important.  

So living life is about embracing acceptable risk  and the anxiety that comes with it as a normal and  

natural and helpful part of life. And as you do  this, you build up emotional muscles to experience  

uncomfortable emotions. And you can also practice  this by doing mindfulness and meditation or just  

doing something every day that scares you. Okay.  Number three: motivate yourself by what you want  

in life, by what you value and you hope instead of  trying to use fear. So these are called positive  

goals. So instead of saying, you know, "Oh, I have  to go to school so that I don't die homeless on  

the street," you say, "I choose to go to school  because I want to be a therapist when I grow up."  

Okay. I never said that as a kid, but you get  the idea. Right? Choose what you do want in  

life. Break it down into small goals, and then  just bravely work toward those little by little.  

Okay. So here's the classic CBT approach to ending  catastrophizing. So number one: just start by  

noticing when you are catastrophizing. What are  the words you use? Are they things like never,  

terrible, fail, rejected, awkward? Anything that's  an exaggeration, making things out to be worse  

than they are. And then getting better as well  at noticing what are the situations you tend to  

catastrophize about? And, you know, write down  what it looks like when you do it. Ask a family  

member or a friend to point it out to you. Right?  So this is the first step in emotion processing.  

It's observing, it's getting better at noticing  what's going on with your thought patterns and  

your behaviors. Then the second step in emotion  processing is to pause. Right? So just because  

you think something doesn't mean it's true. Just  because you feel something doesn't mean you have  

to believe it. So now is a great chance. Just  slow it down. Take a deep breath. Number three is  

explore. Right? Challenge those thoughts. Right?  Just because you think something doesn't mean it's  

true. Learn to notice and gently question your  thoughts. You don't have to believe everything you  

think, but you also don't need to beat yourself  up for having these thoughts, like saying things  

like, "Oh, what's the matter with me? Why do  I always think this way?" That's also not very  

helpful. So instead, like, get better at noticing  your thoughts and letting them pass through. This  

is another skill from acceptance and commitment  therapy. It's called cognitive diffusion, and  

you can practice it with activities like Leaves  on the Stream or the skills I teach in my video

How to Stop Intrusive Thoughts and  Overthinking. So I'll link those below.  

Okay. Number four is choose. Right? Replace those  thoughts with something more honest and more  

helpful. So once you start to notice this type  of thinking, you pause and you explore it. You  

can bravely pick up your emotional sword, and  you can begin to combat this kind of thinking  

with more honest and more rational thoughts,  thoughts that line up more with who you want to  

be and your values. And some of the ways I like to  do this are to think things like this: "Okay, even  

if something bad did happen, I could learn from  it. It wouldn't be the end of the world," etc.  

So here's a couple of examples. Say someone  says something like, "Oh no, I am such an idiot.  

I already made a mistake on this report;  I'm never gonna finish it. Or if I do,  

it's gonna be so flawed that it won't matter.  I'm gonna get fired no matter what." Okay. Wait.  

Pause. That's not true. Okay. Let's explore some  alternatives here. "Everybody makes mistakes." Uh  

okay. "I'm only human." There's another one.  "I'll fix this mistake, and if I need to ask  

for help I can. But I'm just gonna keep working  hard and try to be more careful in the future."  

Or something more like, "Oh, nobody's gonna  fire me for a mistake or two in a report."  

Okay. See how we're replacing the catastrophizing  thoughts with thoughts that are a little bit more  

helpful? Okay. Here's another example: someone  says something like, "Oh, I can't believe I said  

that to my boyfriend. He's gonna leave me for  sure this time." Okay. Let's replace that with  

maybe like, "Oh, I shouldn't have said that to  my boyfriend. I really need to learn how to talk  

kindly when I'm upset. I'm gonna apologize and try  to make it right. Hopefully he'll understand and  

accept my apology and we'll both learn something  from this." Okay. So challenging catastrophizing,  

this approach, it requires us to stay engaged even  when there's a risk of things not going perfectly.  

And this is called vulnerability, the potential  for success and also for getting hurt. But the  

only alternative is to guarantee failure by  cutting yourself off before you even try.  

So I'm a big fan of acceptance and commitment  therapy. It's it's a process which basically  

trains you to get better at feeling, to  open yourself up to the emotions that come  

with living the life you value - love, joy  and sadness and worry and hope, excitement,  

anxiety. As you come to wholeheartedly  embrace life and your goals and your values,  

you'll get better and better at living with some  risk, and you'll be rewarded with lots of good  

things happening to you all the time. May good  things come to you as you courageously face life  

and the risks, joys, loves that come with it. For  those of you who are long-time followers, you may  

have noticed that this video is a remake of one  of my old videos, and that's because that video  

had a couple things that needed to be improved. So  I hope you don't mind me making a better version  

of my video on catastrophizing. So  thank you all for watching. Take care.