The Art of Receiving Feedback | Priti Shah | TEDxWCC
Summary
TLDRThe speaker shares personal experiences about receiving feedback in challenging situations, including job interviews at General Motors and an internship at Disney. They emphasize the importance of mastering the skill of receiving feedback, viewing it as a gift for growth. The talk outlines four steps for effectively receiving and applying feedback: acknowledging the feedback, staying open to it, confirming its meaning, and taking action. The speaker encourages a mindset shift to see feedback as an opportunity for improvement and to foster a culture of open, constructive communication in all aspects of life.
Takeaways
- 💼 Confidence can leave a lasting impression, even without direct experience in a field, as seen in the speaker's interview at General Motors.
- 🎯 Mastering the ability to receive feedback is crucial to turning challenges into opportunities for personal and professional growth.
- 🤔 Feedback may not always be constructive or diplomatic, but it’s important to empower oneself to be open to others' perceptions.
- 🛠 The first step to improving from feedback is mastering the skill of receiving it openly, without immediate defensiveness.
- 🌱 The speaker's cultural and linguistic challenges shaped their growth, learning to thrive through curiosity and openness, despite early setbacks at Walt Disney.
- 🎁 Feedback is a gift—acknowledging, opening, and assessing it allows for personal development, even if the initial message feels uncomfortable.
- 🔄 The four steps to receiving feedback: 1) Acknowledge the gift, 2) Open and assess it, 3) Confirm its value, 4) Use it for improvement.
- 💬 Open dialogue and curiosity can help in understanding the true intention behind feedback, rather than rushing to defense or explanations.
- 🧠 Feedback can be either solicited or unsolicited; embracing both types helps build resilience and continuous improvement.
- 🤝 Creating a culture of open, constructive feedback enhances collaboration, trust, and positive growth in all aspects of life.
Q & A
What was the speaker’s initial reaction to feedback during their interview at General Motors?
-The speaker reacted confidently to the hiring manager's question about their lack of engineering experience. Despite not having a relevant background, they declared confidently that they could do the job, which impressed the hiring team.
How did the speaker’s cultural background and upbringing affect their experience with feedback at Walt Disney?
-The speaker grew up in a low-income household with illiterate parents, which challenged their communication and professional skills. Despite negative feedback at Walt Disney, they embraced a mindset of curiosity and growth, turning criticism into an opportunity to improve.
What are the four steps the speaker suggests for receiving feedback?
-1. Acknowledge the gift and thank the giver. 2. Open and assess the gift by investigating the feedback. 3. Confirm the nature and value of the feedback. 4. Use the gift by taking action on the feedback.
What does the speaker mean by ‘acknowledge the gift’ in relation to feedback?
-‘Acknowledge the gift’ means recognizing that the person giving feedback has something valuable to share. It involves thanking the person and approaching the feedback with a positive and open mindset.
Why does the speaker encourage staying open and asking questions when receiving feedback?
-The speaker encourages openness and curiosity to fully understand the feedback. Asking questions helps to uncover the true value of the feedback and avoids defensive responses, which can block learning opportunities.
What does the speaker recommend doing if you don't agree with the feedback received?
-If you don’t agree with the feedback, the speaker suggests saying thank you and setting it aside for later. You may not see its value immediately, but it could be useful in the future.
How does the speaker suggest that feedback can be non-verbal?
-The speaker notes that feedback can be both tangible and intangible, such as non-verbal communication. For instance, a toddler learning to walk receives feedback from their environment (falling or running into things) that helps them adjust their behavior.
What personal growth did the speaker experience after receiving harsh feedback at Walt Disney?
-Despite being told that they were not smart, sharp, or punctual, the speaker chose to learn from the feedback and delivered high-quality projects on time. This allowed them to leave the internship on favorable terms.
Why does the speaker emphasize thanking the feedback giver even when the feedback is negative?
-Thanking the feedback giver, even when the feedback is negative, helps to close the feedback loop. It shows appreciation for the insight, builds trust, and fosters collaboration, even if the feedback isn’t immediately acted upon.
How can we benefit from both solicited and unsolicited feedback, according to the speaker?
-The speaker advises staying open to all forms of feedback, whether solicited or unsolicited. Even unexpected feedback can offer valuable insights that contribute to personal growth and improvement.
Outlines
👋 Starting the Journey: Receiving Feedback
The speaker introduces the idea that everyone receives feedback differently and shares a personal example. When they first interviewed at General Motors, despite lacking prior engineering experience, they confidently responded to a challenging question from the hiring manager. Their assertiveness impressed the team, leading to a 12-year career at General Motors. This highlights the importance of mastering how to receive feedback and using it to create winning moments. Even when feedback seems unconstructive or incorrect, learning to handle it effectively can be empowering.
🌟 Overcoming Cultural Barriers with Feedback
The speaker recounts a tough experience at Walt Disney World where they were told they lacked sharpness and were often late. Coming from a strong cultural and low-income background, they struggled with communication skills. However, instead of feeling punished, they embraced the feedback and used their curiosity to learn and grow. This led to delivering high-quality projects and leaving on favorable terms. The speaker encourages the audience to view all feedback as a potential gift and to use it to propel themselves to success, even if it initially feels harsh.
🧠 Rethinking Feedback: Beyond Just Words
Feedback isn’t always verbal—it can be tangible or intangible. The speaker gives an example of a toddler learning to walk, who adjusts based on physical experiences. Reading books like *How to Win Friends and Influence People* can also impact how we relate to others. Through a show of hands, the speaker confirms that most people have benefited from feedback in some form. Whether in work, school, or personal life, feedback helps us learn how we impact our environment and how it impacts us.
🔑 Step-by-Step Guide to Mastering Feedback
The speaker outlines four steps for receiving feedback effectively: 1) Acknowledge the gift and thank the giver, assuming there’s value in what they share. 2) Open and assess the feedback with openness and curiosity, asking questions to uncover its value. 3) Confirm the nature of the feedback by paraphrasing it to ensure understanding. 4) Use the feedback to take action, even if that means simply acknowledging it and setting it aside for later use. The speaker stresses that mastering these steps fosters trust and helps us grow, whether the feedback is positive or negative.
🤔 Handling Tough Feedback Scenarios
The speaker presents a scenario where a peer tells you your work is awful and discusses possible responses. They encourage the audience to choose from options like seeking to understand the peer’s viewpoint, showing vulnerability by admitting a desire to improve, or simply thanking the peer. The speaker suggests that all responses, except defensiveness, are valid. They emphasize the importance of creating a culture of open feedback and invite the audience to have conversations with those around them to encourage compassionate and intuitive feedback sharing.
🚀 Building a Culture of Open Feedback
The speaker concludes by encouraging the audience to think about how they can create a culture of open feedback in their lives. This is just the beginning of their journey toward embracing feedback as a tool for personal and professional growth. By having open discussions with others and being receptive to feedback in all its forms, they can improve the quality of their daily lives. The message is that feedback, even when unsolicited, is a gift that can help propel individuals toward greater success.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Feedback
💡Confidence
💡Curiosity
💡Cultural Background
💡Professional Growth
💡Communication Skills
💡Receiving Feedback
💡Empowerment
💡Openness
💡Non-verbal Communication
Highlights
Feedback can be received in various ways, and confidence plays a big role in how we react to it.
Even without direct engineering experience, confidence helped the speaker secure a job at General Motors.
Receiving feedback can sometimes feel uncomfortable or incorrect, but mastering it leads to growth.
Feedback comes in different forms, both verbal and non-verbal.
Personal story of facing challenging feedback at Walt Disney World, but using it to fuel professional growth.
Learning from hardship or criticism can be key to future success.
Feedback is not always delivered diplomatically, but it can still offer valuable lessons.
The four steps to mastering feedback: acknowledge, open, confirm, and use the feedback.
It's important not to fear feedback but to stay curious and ask questions.
Feedback can be tangible or intangible, like the example of a toddler learning to walk.
Acknowledging the feedback giver and expressing gratitude is the first step.
Implementing feedback through action shows growth and strengthens relationships.
How to handle both positive and negative feedback without defensiveness.
Cultural background and communication challenges can influence how feedback is received.
Feedback helps develop self-awareness and can propel you towards success.
Transcripts
good morning
so all of us receive feedback
differently
here's an example of how I have received
feedback when I was first hiring into
General Motors almost 12 years ago
so even though I didn't have even though
I studied engineering my previous
position was not related to the
engineering field at all so when I was
in the interview with the General Motors
hiring manager he asked me why anyone
would hire me with no prior engineering
experience
so I declared to him very confidently
saying because I know I can do the job
so
because of my confidence and ability to
react to his question assertively I
impressed the hiring team and have been
employed with General Motors for almost
12 years
so
look at your life and see how you can
react to feedback
how can you create winning moments in
your own life by mastering the ability
to receive feedback
sometimes information coming at us may
not feel that it's credible or that it's
based on inaccurate information or the
theater advice will do you more harm
than good
feedback may not be diplomatic or
constructive at times however with the
right tools we can Empower ourselves to
receive this type of information
and be more inclusive of others
perceptions of ourselves
because in order to receive feedback or
science or give feedback the first step
is to be able to master the skill at
receiving feedback
so I'll give you an example of when I
first experienced the pixie death of
Disney
so even though I'm in a first generation
american-born citizen due to my very
strong cultural and low-income
upbringing and the illiteracy of my
parents English is my second language
so it's first drastically challenged on
my communication and professional skills
with my first professional employer Walt
Disney World in Orlando Florida
the leaders at the time told me that I'm
not smart I'm not sharp and I'm late all
the time
so I had a choice at this time either I
can see the situation as though I'm
being punished or that I can learn and
grow from it since while my parents did
not teach me the communication skills I
needed they did teach me to be curious
and open and try to learn as much as I
can out of every moment for that reason
I was able to turn the criticism around
and deliver high quality projects on
time leaving my internship on very
favorable terms with my leaders and
peers so I challenge you to take the
same action for yourself and how you can
see the advantage of the information of
that's around you as a gift
I guarantee when you start doing this
you'll see that everything surrounding
you has a benefit and goodness because
at the end of the day the things that
bring you hardship are the very same
things that Propel you to success
so I'd like to level set and how we
think of feedback since traditionally
it's more thought of just as dialogue in
feedback forms however feedback could be
tangible or intangible with non-verbal
Communications as well so for example
if toddler learning to walk maybe the
toddler runs into a wall or Falls and
they they have to condition themselves
to to feel that feedback tangibly to
figure out how to get from point A to
point B or reading a book like How to
Win Friends and Influence People
and that might influence impact us on
how we interact with the people around
us
so with our show of hands how many of
you would say that that feedback has
helped you improve at work school at
home or other environments
yeah yeah for most of us if not all of
us have benefited from feedback
since feedback can be tangible and
tangible with uh just observation
whether how that environment impacts you
and how you impact that environment
so let's look at these four steps on how
we can receive feedback to help us even
improve our lives even more so step
number one acknowledge the gift thank
the giver assume the giver has something
of value
to share with you step number two open
open an assess the gift investigate with
the with the messengers trying to say if
you don't open the package of the of the
message and fear it due to thinking that
you might be Bamboozled with with what
they're trying to tell you you'll never
receive the reward and what they're
trying to tell you so instead try to
come from a place of openness and
curiosity and ask questions such as
where's the value and what they're
saying where's the gift here
what can I learn from what they're
saying what did I say or do that might
have created any misperception
what can I do to ensure the feedback is
addressed and try to stay open just keep
asking the questions until you discover
what they're trying to tell you and try
not to defend or explain yourself
because once you start doing that you
lose the opportunity to find the true
reward and what they're trying to tell
you
step number three confirm the nature and
the value of the gift put into words
what you understood the message that's
trying to tell you and ask if you
understood it correctly this really
helps the other person feel understood
and less defensive on their end
step number four use the gift take
action if you can see the value and what
they're trying to tell you
let's give her a no and it doesn't have
to be through direct dialogue it can
just feed through implemented behaviors
or some way to show how that feedback
has made a positive impact on you and if
you don't accept what they're trying to
say you can still just say thank you and
put on the shelf and set it aside you
might use it later you don't know this
closing of the loop with the feedback
messenger really helps establish trust
collaboration and partnership and these
four steps can be used for gaining from
any type of feedback whether it's
criticism or positive feedback some
people have a hard time receiving
positive feedback and have a hard time
just saying thank you without
explanation so these four steps can be
used for any any type of feedback so
sometimes feedback is not given just
informal settings sometimes it's given
to us just as information and catches us
off guard so let's try to think of ways
how we can receive solicited or
unsolicited feedback and let's talk
through a scenario here
so the scenario here is where a peer
tells you nicely your work is awful and
this peer could be a roommate it's
telling you that you're the way you fold
your socks is terrible or your or your
classmate is telling you that your
portion of a team project
is is inaccurate it was it was not done
right or that your boss tells you that
the promotion that you've always wanted
you're not ready for so how would you
respond to that
and you can you know choose more than
one option whatever resonates with you
by show of the handsome we'll go through
this one by one so how many of you would
choose a
I'd like to I'd like to understand your
Viewpoint as a response to this scenario
yeah since I'm sure of hands
how many of you would choose B I wanna
I've been wanting to improve on this
yeah showing some vulnerability there
and then how about C thank you for
making it making me aware of this yeah
so
and then how about D why are you the Way
You Are
so of course all of these are acceptable
for receiving the gift and feedback
except for maybe the last one I
appreciate everyone's honesty
so think about how you might implement
this into your life how can we create
this culture of open feedback I would
encourage you to talk to the people that
are close to you and share your thoughts
and ideas around this
this is really just the start of your
journey and exploring feedback and
igniting the conversation of how we can
compassionately and intuitively receive
the information around us to help us
improve our daily lives and and just the
quality of our life thank you so much
foreign
[Applause]
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