Allowing Is What We Are, Not What We Do

Summary

The transcript delves into the exploration of emotions and the quest for happiness. It discusses the tendency to use external objects as distractions from internal discomfort, leading to a suppression of feelings. The speaker guides the listener to embrace awareness as an open, non-judgmental space that allows feelings to surface and be processed, rather than seeking to eliminate them. The dialogue emphasizes the importance of not clinging to temporary states of happiness but instead recognizing the enduring nature of awareness, which underlies all emotional experiences.

Takeaways

• 🧘 The script discusses the process of welcoming and allowing feelings to arise without the intention of getting rid of them, emphasizing the distinction between welcoming as a mental act and allowing as a natural state of awareness.
• 🌱 It highlights that the mind is conditioned to reject unpleasant feelings, and true acceptance comes from a state of awareness that is already allowing these feelings to exist.
• 🔍 The speaker suggests that the pursuit of lasting happiness is misguided if it's seen as a state that comes and goes, as all states are temporary by nature.
• 🌟 The script points out that the experience of happiness can be profound but is not the ultimate goal; instead, it's the awareness and openness to all feelings that is sought.
• 🕊️ There's an emphasis on the importance of not resisting feelings but rather facing them with courage and neutrality, which is the true nature of awareness.
• 🌌 The speaker describes a past experience of a prolonged period of happiness, suggesting it was a glimpse of the unchanging awareness, but not the ultimate reality.
• 🔑 It is suggested that the longing for a past state of happiness can be an obstacle to experiencing the deeper, more constant happiness that lies beneath the surface of changing feelings.
• 💡 The script encourages the listener to see themselves as the 'empty space' of awareness, where feelings are allowed to arise and pass without judgment or resistance.
• 🌈 There's a reminder that the goal is not to achieve a specific state of mind but to be present with whatever arises in the field of awareness, including discomfort and resistance.
• 🌱 The final message is about the importance of being sensitive to the impulse to get rid of feelings and instead, to simply be the awareness in which these feelings appear.

Q & A

What is the main issue the person is facing according to the transcript?

The person is struggling with the emergence of uncomfortable feelings as they have lost interest in using external objects as distractions. They are seeking a state of lasting happiness and peace, but are currently experiencing a mix of fear, tension, and anxiety.

What is the significance of the term 'welcoming feelings' in the context of the transcript?

In the transcript, 'welcoming feelings' refers to the act of consciously allowing and accepting uncomfortable or painful emotions without resistance, in order to process and release them, rather than avoiding or suppressing them.

Why does the person feel disappointed despite experiencing peace?

The person feels disappointed because they expected to immediately feel a state of peace and happiness upon becoming aware of their feelings, but instead, they are experiencing a layer of uncomfortable emotions that need to be processed before reaching a state of reliable, unconditional happiness.

What is the role of objects in distracting people from their feelings, as discussed in the transcript?

Objects, such as movies or material possessions, serve as distractions that keep people's attention focused away from their internal feelings. This focus on external objects prevents the surfacing of uncomfortable emotions, leading to a temporary alleviation of discomfort.

What does the speaker suggest as an alternative to 'welcoming' feelings?

The speaker suggests replacing the word 'welcoming' with 'allowing' to adopt a more neutral stance towards feelings. This shift in language is meant to emphasize that awareness is inherently allowing and there is no need to force a welcoming attitude with the mind.

How does the speaker describe the nature of awareness in relation to feelings?

The speaker describes awareness as an empty space that is already allowing feelings to arise without resistance. It is characterized by total openness and acceptance, and it does not require any effort to welcome or allow feelings.

What is the difference between seeking a state of mind and the true goal according to the transcript?

Seeking a state of mind, such as a past experience of happiness, is different from the true goal because states of mind are temporary and changeable. The true goal is to experience the underlying, unconditional happiness that is not dependent on temporary states.

Why does the person's longing for a past state of happiness hinder their progress, as per the transcript?

Longing for a past state of happiness hinders progress because it keeps the person focused on a temporary experience rather than the present moment and the underlying awareness that is always present. This longing prevents them from fully engaging with and releasing their current feelings.

What is the advice given for dealing with sleepless nights filled with uncomfortable feelings?

The advice is to establish in one's experience the understanding that they are the empty, aware space in which feelings appear, and to be that knowingly without any impulse to change or get rid of the feelings.

How does the speaker differentiate between the mind and awareness in terms of handling feelings?

The speaker differentiates by stating that the mind is conditioned to reject unpleasantness, whereas awareness is an open, empty space that inherently allows all feelings without resistance. The mind cannot truly welcome feelings; it is awareness that does so without effort.

Outlines

00:00

🔍 Embracing Inner Feelings for True Happiness

The speaker discusses the paradox of trying to welcome feelings in order to eliminate them, suggesting that this approach is counterproductive. Instead, they propose a shift in perspective from actively 'welcoming' to simply 'allowing' feelings. The speaker emphasizes that awareness, like an empty space, inherently allows feelings to arise without judgment. They argue that the mind is conditioned to reject unpleasantness, and thus cannot truly welcome such feelings. The key is to recognize that awareness has already allowed these feelings to exist, and there's no need for further action. The speaker encourages letting go of the desire for a specific state of happiness and instead to be present with whatever feelings arise, as this is where true, lasting happiness resides.

05:02

🌟 The Illusion of Seeking Lasting States of Happiness

In this paragraph, the speaker addresses the futility of chasing temporary states of happiness, likening them to clouds that pass over the ever-present blue sky of awareness. They recount a personal experience of a prolonged period of happiness that eventually faded, illustrating the transient nature of such states. The speaker clarifies that the longing for a specific state of happiness is a form of attachment to an object, which is not the ultimate goal. The true objective is to recognize the unchanging awareness that underlies all experiences. The speaker advises to let go of the desire to return to past states and instead to face and accept the current feelings without resistance, as this is the path to uncovering the deeper, enduring happiness that is always present.

10:06

🧘‍♂️ Overcoming Resistance to Experience True Awareness

The speaker delves into the concept of resistance to feelings and how it perpetuates suffering. They suggest that the desire to return to a past state of happiness is a form of resistance that hinders true awareness. The speaker encourages fully embracing the present moment, including any feelings that arise, by recognizing oneself as the empty, aware space in which these feelings appear. They advise against the urge to manipulate or eliminate feelings, instead promoting a state of non-resistance and observation. The speaker highlights the importance of sensitivity to the impulse to resist feelings and the need to simply be the aware space, which inherently contains and allows all experiences without judgment or desire for change.

Keywords

💡Awareness

Awareness, in the context of the video, refers to the conscious perception and attention to one's thoughts, feelings, and surroundings. It is the state of being mindfully present and engaged with the current experience. The video emphasizes that awareness is not something we do, but rather something we are, and it is inherently open and accepting of all experiences, including emotions and sensations. For example, the speaker mentions that 'awareness has already allowed them,' indicating that the act of being aware naturally encompasses all feelings without judgment.

💡Emotional Discomfort

Emotional discomfort is the feeling of unease or distress that arises from internal emotional states. The video discusses how individuals often seek external objects or distractions to avoid facing this discomfort. The speaker suggests that instead of trying to eliminate these feelings, one should face them with courage and neutrality, as they are part of the human experience. An example from the script is the speaker's encouragement to 'just totally face these feelings until there's no resistance to them.'

💡Resistance

Resistance, in the video, is the act of opposing or fighting against one's feelings or experiences. It is portrayed as a barrier to true emotional freedom and happiness. The speaker argues that resistance perpetuates the very feelings we seek to avoid, and that by accepting and allowing these feelings without resistance, we can move towards a state of peace. The script illustrates this with the question, 'What's the worst thing these feelings could do to you?', suggesting that the fear of feelings is often worse than the feelings themselves.

💡Happiness

Happiness, as discussed in the video, is not just a fleeting emotional state but a deeper, more enduring sense of well-being that arises from within. The speaker distinguishes between temporary happiness, which is dependent on external circumstances, and a more profound, unconditional happiness that exists beneath the surface of our emotional fluctuations. The video suggests that true happiness is found by embracing and transcending our emotional experiences rather than seeking to escape them.

💡Mindfulness

Mindfulness is the practice of purposely focusing one's attention on the present moment and accepting it without judgment. In the video, mindfulness is presented as a way to acknowledge and welcome all experiences, including those that are uncomfortable or painful. The speaker encourages the listener to practice mindfulness as a means to observe and allow feelings without the need to change or eliminate them, as exemplified by the phrase 'be courageous and just totally face these feelings.'

💡Distraction

Distraction, in the context of the video, refers to the tendency to shift one's attention away from internal feelings and towards external objects or activities. This is often done as a means to avoid dealing with uncomfortable emotions. The speaker points out that this avoidance can prevent individuals from experiencing deeper, more lasting happiness, as it keeps them from confronting and integrating their emotional experiences. The script mentions that 'most people are addicted to objects' as a form of distraction.

💡Unconditional Happiness

Unconditional happiness is a state of inner peace and contentment that is not dependent on external circumstances or conditions. The video suggests that this type of happiness is the ultimate goal, as it is not subject to the ups and downs of temporary emotional states. The speaker contrasts this with the temporary happiness that comes and goes, indicating that true happiness is found by embracing all feelings without resistance, as stated in the line 'the reliable, unconditional happiness which is underneath them.'

💡Allowing

Allowing, as used in the video, is the act of permitting or accepting feelings and experiences without resistance or judgment. It is presented as a more neutral and effective approach than trying to actively 'welcome' feelings, which can imply a forced or insincere acceptance. The speaker advises replacing the word 'welcoming' with 'allowing' to better reflect the natural, non-judgmental nature of awareness. An example from the script is the suggestion to 'replace the word welcoming with allowing' to better align with the nature of consciousness.

💡Consciousness

Consciousness, in the video, is described as the fundamental awareness that underlies all experience. It is portrayed as an open, empty space that allows all thoughts, feelings, and sensations to arise and pass without resistance. The speaker uses the analogy of a room to illustrate how consciousness is inherently accepting and does not need to be conditioned to allow experiences. The script states that 'consciousness or awareness is already allowing these feelings,' highlighting its passive yet all-encompassing nature.

💡Longing

Longing, as discussed in the video, refers to the desire for a particular state or experience to return or continue. The speaker cautions against longing for past experiences of happiness, as it can prevent one from experiencing the deeper, more enduring happiness that is always present. Longing is seen as an attachment to temporary states, which can lead to disappointment when those states inevitably change. The script includes a reflection on a past period of happiness that 'faded' and the speaker's advice to 'forget about the state' and focus on the present.

💡Neutrality

Neutrality, in the context of the video, is the state of being impartial or not showing bias or preference towards any particular experience. The speaker encourages adopting a neutral stance towards emotional discomfort, which involves facing feelings without the desire to change or eliminate them. This approach is seen as a way to reduce resistance and suffering. An example from the script is the advice to 'be more neutral' when dealing with feelings, suggesting that a balanced, non-reactive attitude is key to true emotional freedom.

Highlights

The individual's question reveals a desire to eliminate certain feelings.

The act of welcoming feelings is actually a way to release them, not to keep them.

There is a sense of peace, but not the happiness that typically arises from being aware.

Attention to external objects can temporarily distract from internal discomfort.

Losing interest in objects allows suppressed feelings to surface.

The expectation of immediate peace and happiness may not align with reality.

The peace and happiness that exist are underneath the surfacing feelings.

The mind is conditioned to reject unpleasantness, making it difficult to welcome certain feelings.

Awareness is like an empty space that already allows feelings without judgment.

The word 'welcoming' may be too positive; 'allowing' is a more neutral term.

Consciousness inherently allows feelings without resistance.

The nature of consciousness is openness and allowance, not something that needs to be achieved.

The test of truly welcoming feelings is the willingness to live with them indefinitely.

Physical discomfort can be alleviated, but emotional discomfort requires facing the feelings.

The worst that feelings can do is limited; they cannot truly harm the essence of a person.

Longing for a past state of happiness is a longing for something impermanent.

The happiness experienced was real but is now sought as a state, which is limiting.

The true goal is not to reproduce a state but to be aware of the underlying consciousness.

The resistance to feelings is what perpetuates them, not the feelings themselves.

Simply being aware of being the 'empty space' of awareness can help with the acceptance of feelings.

Transcripts

your question can betrays your desire to

get rid of these feelings your question

betrays the fact that you are welcoming

these feelings in order to get rid of

them that is not welcoming feelings but

having spoken about happiness and there

is certainly peace I mean there's been a

feeling of peace most most of the time

but the feeling of happiness which isn't

what what would normally arise when when

being aware of being aware just yeah

thumbs up it's not it is not there and

yes but but what's happening in your

case that has your as you're losing

interest in objects you're no longer

distracting yourself with objects and

all these this fear and tensions and

anxieties they're all beginning to

bubble up as you rightly described this

morning something caught your attention

you gave your attention to it and that

temporarily alleviated the discomfort of

your feelings and in fact this is why

most people are addicted to objects

because as long as our attention is

exclusively focused on the movie or

whatever it is there's no room for these

feelings to come up so these difficult

unpleasant painful feelings I kept

suppressed as a result of our

exclusively focusing on objects so in

your case you've lost interest in

objects or at least you've lost interest

in objects as a means to provide lasting

happiness so now there is this big space

in you which would previously have been

filled by your attending to objects and

into this big space all these feelings

are bubbling up which have been kept so

successfully

at bay all these years and it's a bit of

a disappointment to you because you were

expecting that immediately there would

be a feeling of peace and and happiness

the peace and happiness is there but

it's there it's underneath all these

feelings that they they have to come up

and work through the system

before we get to the reliable

unconditional happiness which is

underneath them so yes you're doing the

right thing except that you still have a

this lingering feeling here you're no

longer directing your attention towards

objects in order to get rid of the

feelings you're now welcoming them in

order to get rid of them so you just

just just that final little refinement I

don't know how to make that refinement

it's not something you you again when

you say that you you betray the fact

that you are trying to welcome your

feelings with your mind you are trying

to discipline your mind to welcome

something which to be honest is not

welcome and and you know you should be

so you're trying harder with your mind

but your mind just can't quite do it and

then your question is one how do I do

that with the mind you're quite right

you cannot do it with the mind the mind

cannot accept the mind is conditioned to

reject what is unpleasant or painful

it's you can't do it with the mind

fortunately it's not necessary to do it

a mind awareness is like an empty space

it is already allowing these feelings

the fact that you're feeling them means

it's too late awareness has already

allowed them so get rid of the word

welcoming it's too positive it's too

it's too active replace the word

welcoming it's too positive is too

loving yeah be more neutral

who replaced the word welcoming with

allowing and see that consciousness or

awareness is already allowing these

feelings it's it's or what you're

wanting to happen it has already

happened you are this empty space and

these feelings are now bubbling up into

this space that's it you've done it

there's nothing more you need to do

they're already present in you it's too

late for this room to reject all of us

are sitting here we're already here it's

already accepted us it doesn't need to

start working on us in order to accept

us its nature is to accept us the space

of this room cannot resist us awareness

it's like that in other words don't see

this welcoming it's something you do

with your mind this welcoming is what we

are not what we do all this allowing the

nature of consciousness is total

openness total allowing a total absence

of resistance we don't have to make it

like that we don't have to discipline

consciousness to be allowing it can't be

any other way so do you mean just seeing

this it's it's like that anyway that the

feelings are there just like the room is

there and the birds yes it's seeing and

feeling seeing feeling that what you are

is the space of awareness the open empty

resistance less space of awareness and

from from from that one's point of view

these feelings are allowed for us to be

present for as long as they wish to be

present there is no motivation in

awareness to get rid of them it's the

finite mind that says I want to get rid

of them

and I'm doing this practice called

welcoming in order to get rid of them

that's why I say and I'm sure you've

heard me say this before sometimes that

the the test of whether we're really

welcoming our feelings is can I live

with this feeling forever and the answer

must be yes if the answer is no then we

know that we are welcoming our feelings

in order to get rid of them and that's

not welcoming and that's just more

agenda of the separate self but they

they do become I mean they change all

the time but they do become very

uncomfortable and it's it's hard to be

completely neutral about that if you're

in physical discomfort of course make

yourself as comfortable as you can but

if you're an emotional discomfort then

be courageous and just totally face

these feelings until until there's no

resistance to them

what's the worst thing these feelings

could do to you the feelings can't do

anything to me

it it's more that's I suppose I I want

so much what I had a few years ago it

was it was for about three and a half

months and I I suddenly woke up and the

whole world had her changed completely

changed and there was there was never I

mean for all of that time there was

never any negative emotion about

anything any specific negative feelings

or any nonspecific negative feelings

like like these ones it was it was just

an amazing period of wonderful happiness

when everything everything was right

even though things in my life was going

wrong in some ways and I and then it

faded and I've still it that it has to

be possible yeah to get back get back

there where it was no effort to be aware

of being aware it just happened but it

wasn't lasting happiness it was a state

it felt lasting at the time I did felt

lasting at the time but time has shown

that he wasn't lasting and if you are if

you're longing for that you're longing

for a state you're longing for something

that comes and goes you're longing for

an object your happiness is still

invested in objects

it's passed it was it was limited in

time it may have been wonderful but it

was limited it's not what you really

want

yes if it could have lasted forever then

he would be what you want but anyone

that ever had a moment of happiness if

that moment could have lasted forever

that would be what they want so you did

this moment lasted for three and a half

months but it passed and now you're

longing for it to come back in other

words you're longing for a state of the

mind to come back what you want is not a

state of the mind all states of the mind

by definition change it's not possible

to have a state of the mind that doesn't

change states of the mind by definition

that's what a state is it comes and goes

so what is still present now that was

present during those three and a half

months just the the understanding that

that that I that I am just your

awareness and there aren't a little bits

that it's but it's a it stayed as an

intellectual understanding it comes and

goes as a feeling understanding I'm not

saying that the experience you had them

wasn't a genuine experience of happiness

it was it was like the like the patch of

blue sky peeping through the clouds it

looks as if it has a limit to it in fact

the blue sky doesn't have a limit to it

so yes it may have been a it was

obviously a very real experience you

were having but you you're now

conceiving of it as a state and you're

seeking it as a state you're looking to

reproduce that state you want it to come

back again

and that's preventing you from going in

your - in your experience to where that

happiness really resides because you're

looking for it in a place where it isn't

you want to get rid of these feelings in

order to experience that state know you

it's the opposite you have to get rid of

the feeling of wanting to go back to

that state and face your feelings you

want to get rid of the feelings and go

back to that what you want is on the

other side of your feelings or

underneath your feelings forget about

the state totally open yourself in that

you don't even need to open yourself be

knowingly the openness in which all

these feelings appear until these

feelings until there's no resistance in

you to them

it's your resistance to the feelings

that is perpetuating them just just try

it if you have another sleepless night

just when you when these feelings are

coursing through you just establish in

your experience I am the empty space the

empty aware space in which these

feelings are appearing and I'm just

going to be that knowingly without the

slightest impulse to do anything to

these feelings

it's not even something you have to do

just notice that you are that already be

very sensitive to the impulse to get rid

of these feelings