The One Thing You Can Do to Make a Narcissist Fear You And Why It Works

Summary

In this video, Rebecca Zung, a renowned expert on narcissism and high-conflict communication, shares strategies for dealing with narcissists. She explains that narcissists are driven by a need for 'narcissistic supply' and will go to great lengths to protect their image, which is their primary source of this supply. Zung advises that to make a narcissist fear you, one must threaten this image by creating a situation where they could be exposed, thus losing control and power over you. She emphasizes the importance of disengaging, maintaining control, and walking away as key tactics to reclaim your power and make a narcissist realize they no longer hold sway over you.

Takeaways

• 😎 Rebecca Zung is a recognized expert on narcissists and high-conflict communications.
• 🔍 Narcissists are driven by the need for narcissistic supply, which is a constant source of external validation.
• 🍫 Narcissists are likened to hollow chocolate Easter Bunnies, appearing full on the outside but empty within.
• 💎 The 'Diamond level' supply for narcissists is their image and reputation, which they fiercely protect.
• 🚫 To make a narcissist fear, one must threaten their most important source of supply, typically their image.
• 🤔 Understanding the narcissist's hierarchy of supply is crucial for formulating a strategy against them.
• 💡 The key to gaining power over a narcissist is to disengage emotionally and appear uninterested in their manipulations.
• 🚫 Disengaging and holding the power to expose the narcissist without actually doing so can make them fearful.
• 💪 Maintaining control and composure in the face of a narcissist's provocations is a sign of strength and power.
• 🛡️ Walking away and creating a strategy to leverage against a narcissist's supply can lead to them losing their grip on you.

Q & A

What is the primary motivation for a narcissist according to Rebecca Zung?

The primary motivation for a narcissist is the need for narcissistic Supply, which is an endless amount of validation and attention that fills their inner emptiness.

How does Rebecca Zung describe the inner state of a narcissist?

Rebecca Zung describes the inner state of a narcissist as being completely empty inside, comparing them to a hollow chocolate Easter Bunny that looks nice on the outside but is empty within.

What is the best form of narcissistic Supply according to the transcript?

The best form of narcissistic Supply, referred to as 'Diamond level Supply' by Rebecca Zung, is image and reputation, which is how they look to the world.

What is the lower tier of narcissistic Supply mentioned in the video script?

The lower tier of narcissistic Supply includes manipulation, smearing, controlling, and pushing others down to elevate themselves.

How can one make a narcissist fear them, as suggested in the transcript?

To make a narcissist fear you, one must threaten their source of Supply that is most important to them, which is typically their image and reputation.

What is the strategy to deal with a narcissist as outlined by Rebecca Zung?

The strategy is to disengage, maintain control, create leverage, and threaten the source of Supply where you can potentially expose them without actually doing so unless they continue their behavior.

Why is it important not to engage with a narcissist's provocations according to the script?

Engaging with a narcissist's provocations feeds their need for Supply and gives them control. Disengaging deprives them of this control and is a more effective strategy.

What does Rebecca Zung suggest as a way to maintain control when dealing with a narcissist?

Rebecca Zung suggests maintaining a calm demeanor, being composed, and staying excellent to remain unshakable and unstoppable in the face of a narcissist's attempts to manipulate.

How does Rebecca Zung recommend handling co-parenting with a narcissist?

Rebecca Zung recommends using an app or a parenting coordinator for co-parenting with a narcissist to minimize exchanges and stick to facts to avoid getting drawn into drama.

What is the ultimate goal when dealing with a narcissist, as per Rebecca Zung's advice?

The ultimate goal is to reclaim your power, walk away with strength, and not be emotionally hooked or controlled by the narcissist, thus taking back your life.

Outlines

00:00

🔍 Understanding Narcissists' Fear

Rebecca Zung, an attorney and expert on narcissists and high-conflict communication, introduces the topic of how to make a narcissist fear you. She explains that narcissists are driven by the need for narcissistic supply, which is the validation and attention they crave to fill their inner emptiness. The best form of supply for them is their image and reputation, which they will defend at all costs. The key to making a narcissist fear you is to threaten their most important source of supply, which could be different for each individual, such as a new relationship, a job, or public image. By understanding what drives them and identifying their primary source of supply, you can develop a strategy to gain leverage over them.

05:01

🚫 Disengaging from Narcissistic Control

In this paragraph, Rebecca emphasizes the importance of disengaging from the control of a narcissist. She advises not to respond to their provocations or attempts to manipulate, as this only feeds their need for control. Instead, she suggests maintaining a calm demeanor, staying composed, and focusing on your own strategy and leverage. By being emotionally disengaged and not caring about their attempts to provoke a reaction, you can reclaim your power and turn the tables on them. This approach leaves the narcissist at a loss, as their power is based on controlling you. Rebecca encourages viewers to join her Facebook group and access her free resources to learn more about dealing with narcissists.

10:03

🛡️ Shielding Yourself from Narcissistic Attacks

Rebecca discusses strategies for dealing with narcissists in various relationships, including co-parenting. She suggests using technology to minimize communication and sticking to facts to avoid engaging in drama. The goal is to maintain a neutral and factual response, depriving the narcissist of the emotional reaction they seek. By not taking the bait and disengaging, you protect yourself and prevent the narcissist from feeding off your emotions. Rebecca also promotes her Shopify store as an example of how to take control of your life and business, and she encourages viewers to sign up for Shopify's services. She ends by reminding viewers of their strength and the power they have to reclaim their lives from narcissists.

Keywords

💡Narcissist

A narcissist is an individual with an inflated sense of self-importance, often requiring excessive admiration and lacking empathy for others. In the context of the video, Rebecca Zung discusses how to deal with narcissists, particularly focusing on how they operate by seeking 'narcissistic supply' to fill their inner emptiness. The video aims to empower viewers to understand and counteract the manipulative behaviors of narcissists.

💡Narcissistic Supply

Narcissistic supply refers to the admiration, attention, or validation that narcissists crave to maintain their self-esteem. The video explains that this supply is essential for narcissists as they feel empty inside and need constant external validation. Rebecca Zung uses the analogy of a 'Hollow, chocolate Easter Bunny' to illustrate their outward appearance of confidence masking an inner void.

💡High Conflict Communications

High conflict communications describe interactions characterized by intense, unresolvable disputes often involving manipulation and power struggles. Rebecca Zung, as a high conflict communications expert, discusses strategies to handle such communications, particularly with narcissists, in the video.

💡Image Reputation

Image reputation is the perception that others have of an individual, which is crucial for narcissists as it forms their 'diamond level supply.' The video emphasizes that threatening a narcissist's image reputation can make them fear, as they will go to great lengths to protect and defend how they appear to the world.

💡Disengagement

Disengagement in the video refers to the act of withdrawing from interactions with a narcissist, which can be a powerful strategy to regain control and power. By disengaging, one can deprive the narcissist of the emotional fuel they need, thus diminishing their influence.

💡Leverage

Leverage in this context is the strategic advantage one can have over a narcissist, often by holding information or control over something important to them. The video suggests using leverage to threaten the narcissist's supply, which can make them fear the loss of control.

💡Control

Control is a central theme in the video, where narcissists are depicted as seeking to control others to maintain their power and supply. Rebecca Zung advises viewers on how to resist this control and become the one with the upper hand in the relationship.

💡Co-parenting

Co-parenting with a narcissist is highlighted as a challenging scenario where maintaining boundaries and minimizing conflict is crucial. The video suggests using technology or third-party coordinators to manage interactions and avoid engaging in the narcissist's drama.

💡Shopify

Shopify is mentioned as an e-commerce platform that enables businesses to sell products online easily. In the video, Rebecca Zung promotes Shopify as a tool that can help viewers grow their businesses, which is a form of self-empowerment and taking control of one's life, a theme resonant with dealing with narcissists.

💡Emotional Fuel

Emotional fuel in the video refers to the emotional energy that narcissists extract from others to feed their egos. By disengaging and not providing this emotional fuel, one can weaken the narcissist's power over them, as the narcissist relies on this energy to maintain their self-image.

Highlights

Rebecca Zung introduces herself as a globally recognized expert on narcissists and high-conflict communications.

The importance of understanding what drives a narcissist in order to make them fear you.

Narcissists are driven by a need for narcissistic Supply, which leaves them feeling empty inside.

The two-tier hierarchy of narcissistic Supply: image and reputation versus manipulation and control.

Narcissists will protect their image and reputation at any cost, which is the best form of Supply.

To make a narcissist fear you, threaten their most important source of Supply.

Creating a situation where a narcissist fears exposure can make them realize you hold the power.

Disengaging from a narcissist and reclaiming your power is a key strategy.

The importance of not playing by a narcissist's rules and maintaining control.

How narcissists use control and fear to maintain power over you.

The concept of 'diamond level' Supply and its significance in a narcissist's life.

Rebecca advises not to defend, justify, or explain when dealing with a narcissist.

The strategy of walking away and maintaining control to make a narcissist fear you.

How narcissists self-destruct when they can't get a reaction from you.

The power of disengaging and creating a strategy to leverage against a narcissist.

Practical advice for co-parenting with a narcissist and keeping interactions neutral.

Rebecca's recommendation to use technology to minimize contact with a narcissist in co-parenting situations.

The final call to action to join Rebecca's community and access her resources for dealing with narcissists.

Transcripts

narcissists constantly do things to make

you fear them but what's one thing that

you can do to make them fear you I'm

going to tell you in this

video hey I'm Rebecca zung I'm a

globally recognized narcissist and high

conflict Communications expert attorney

and best-selling author of the book slay

the bully heading negotiate with

narcissist and win and if you're new to

this channel welcome welcome welcome I

am so glad that you're here go ahead and

hit that subscribe button and turn on

your notifications so that you never

miss out on any of my powerful content

and it's all designed to help you take

back your power and take back your life

from narcissist and any high conflict

people in your life and if you're

already part of this community I'm so

glad that you're here now let's dive

into what it we're talking about today

which is the one thing that you can do

to make a narcissist fear you let's talk

first about what drives a narcissist

because that's what we have to talk

about in order to get a narcissist to

fear you so what drives a

narcissist is narcissistic Supply they

feel totally and completely empty inside

I've often said they're like that Hollow

chocolate Easter Bunny they look really

nice on the outside but very empty on

the inside they need an endless amount

of narcissistic Supply but that

Supply is something that ends up totally

in depleting you so you are really just

Superfluous they'll take it from whoever

from wherever wherever they can get it

from you happen to be around then that's

fine I know they they they act like

you're totally and completely special

and all of that but really it's because

they know what they need to say they

know what they need to do in order to

get that Supply from you they're

survivalists and they've been working on

this from the beginning you know their

brain just doesn't work the same as

other people's brains you can't take

this personally okay but you do have to

understand understand this the pathology

of it of what's going on here in the

hierarchy of Supply there is the best

form of supply and then there's a lower

tier of Supply the best form of Supply

which I call Diamond level Supply is

image reputation how they look to the

world they will protect and defend that

at any cost and then there's the

lowlevel supply which is manipulation

and smearing and controlling and pushing

other people down so that they feel good

when it comes to

negotiations they'll still take it all

right they want it all or Communications

or whatever it is how to get a nurses is

to fear you what do you have to do you

have to threaten a source of Supply

that's more important that's most

important that's their thing that's

their uh and that's image you have to

figure that out and then that informs

everything else that you do so what is

that for them well it's G to be

different for every narcissist in some

way it could be their new girlfriend it

could be the judge it could be their

employees it could be their employer it

could be their celebrity fans right you

know whoever but or it could be all of

it all of the above but you got to know

so that you can figure out your strategy

so you can figure figure out what to do

so what's the one thing that you can do

to make a narcissist fear you create

something that's going to threaten that

they're going to look bad threaten that

you're going to expose them and then not

expose them because if you do then your

Leverage is gone slowly start to go you

know what I don't fear you anymore I'm

disengaged aging from this because I

don't need you anymore I'm not afraid of

you because the thing that keeps a

narcissist in power is that they have

control over you that they have this F

spali thing over you that they believe

that you are under their spell so the

one thing that you can do to make a

narcissist fear you is they realize that

not only are you no longer under their

spell or under their control but you're

you're disengaging and not only do you

not care but you hold the cards over

them now you're so no longer interested

you're so disengaged and you can turn

the tables on them youve reclaim your

power you're the one who's in control

you are the one who is ready to walk

away you're the one who has all the

strength you're the one who has all the

power you're the one who's like I don't

even need this anymore but I will expose

you if you keep coming after me and the

more you have your strength the more you

have your power the more you are

thinking I don't even care what you do

you suck the lit life out of what

they're saying what they're doing and

they're going you know what I'm going to

smear you or whatever and you're like I

don't care what you say I'm walking away

from you you really don't care you

really are no longer emotionally hooked

in you really are completely

disengaged from whatever baits whatever

triggers they try to throw out at you

then they are completely at a loss they

won't know what to do because their

power

lies in the control they have over you

so if they no longer have that and

you're abandoning them and you also have

something over them then they have

completely lost their grip over you

you're pulling the rug out from them

they don't have your emotional

fuel there's nothing left to feed their

ego does this make sense give me a yes

in the in the comments if this is making

sense to you if you're so ready to do

this I want you to join my free private

Facebook group narcissist negotiators

right now and I want you to grab my free

Crush my negotiation prep Playbook right

now so that you can get started so if

you're in a personal relationship with a

narcissist in a boss relationship or a

close friend no matter what it is

they're sending you hurtful insults

they're out there twisting reality

smearing you don't defend yourself

because you know I always say never Jade

I always wear Jade but never Jade never

justify argue defend or explain don't

try to set the record straight you don't

need to do that you don't need to

respond to their provocations you don't

need to feed the drama you need to walk

away you need to create strategy

leverage anticipate focus on you

maintain control the harder they try to

get a reaction out of you they're going

to self-destruct because that's what

Happ happens they always are the worst

right before they're ready to give up so

the real power lies in disengaging

Walking Away maintaining control

creating your strategy your leverage

threatening that source of Supply where

you can potentially expose them and then

you're no longer playing by their rules

and that my friends is the way that you

can make a narcissist fear you and

that's why it works because you're

threat threatening that diamond level

source of Supply that confronts the

thing that means the most to them it's

something they desperately will want to

protect desperately I promise you that

this will work it works in professional

situations it works in personal

situations no matter what kind of

situation you're in it's a boss it's a

colleague it's with whoever it's with

when ever it's in any situation you

maintain your calm demeanor you're

composed you stay excellent they will

not be able to get at you and you will

be the one who's unshakable you will be

the one who's Unstoppable this will also

protect your peace you will have that

invisible shield down around you that I

talk about all the time you no longer

manipulated you're no longer controlled

they lose their power they back off and

they have to direct their toxic energy

elsewhere because they have to get

supply from some somewhere they just

won't get it from you and you know what

you can send them light butt over there

I know that co-parenting with a

narcissist is no fun so for those of you

who are out there going I have a

co-parent I get that you just have to do

it through an app or something so that

you can try to have it as little

exchanging as possible use a parenting

coordinator if you have to or make sure

you have a very very specific agreement

as specific as possible stick to the

facts avoid getting drawn into the drama

so if they say you're always late

picking up the kids because you don't

care about them just respond I will be

there at 5:00 p.m. a scheduled you don't

need to go take the bait you don't need

to don't go don't don't go don't go down

there keeping your responses neutral

factual deprive them of the reaction

that they're looking for they're trying

to provoke you don't go there disengage

protect yourself you're like Wonder

Woman with the bullets or Superman with

the bullets off your chest off your

wrist not me I'm not there they want to

have this false sense of superiority it

masks their deep seated feelings of

inadequacy this works if you like this

make sure you like this video hit like

hit share and make sure that you have

subscribed here hit that notification

Bell well Shopify helps Millions sell

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however they want including me at shop.

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touch of a button from your smartphones

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slvest life and I will see you in the

next video the next video that that I

want you to watch is why covert

narcissists are dangerous remember you

have the power to reclaim your life from

a narcissist you're stronger you're

smarter and I will see you there

remember today is a great day to start

negotiating your best life you guys are

the best