What to do with your life when you have High Functioning BPD- Eggshell Therapy and Coaching

Summary

The video script delves into high-functioning Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), a condition marked by internal turmoil and emotional pain that individuals often conceal behind a facade of normalcy. It discusses the defense mechanisms like splitting and dissociation that mask suffering, leading to a life of silent struggle. The script also addresses the unique challenges faced by those with high-functioning BPD, such as being overlooked for support due to their ability to maintain appearances. It explores the psychological dynamics, including counter-dependency and emotional anorexia, which contribute to this complex disorder. The narrative encourages a compassionate approach to healing, suggesting that reconnecting with and integrating the split-off parts of oneself is crucial for recovery and living a more authentic life.

Takeaways

• 😔 High-functioning BPD is characterized by the use of defense mechanisms such as splitting, dissociation, counter-dependency, and avoidance of feelings to cope with inner turmoil.
• 🌟 Despite appearing to function well externally, individuals with high-functioning BPD experience significant internal pain, including mood swings, emptiness, and fear of abandonment.
• 📈 There's a growing awareness of BPD and its impact, yet it remains stigmatized, and those with high-functioning BPD often suffer in silence without recognition or support.
• 🤔 The diversity of BPD symptoms can mislead, as those who internalize their pain rather than externalize it are often overlooked within the mental health system.
• 🏥 Mental health professionals may prioritize those with more dramatic symptoms, leaving those with high-functioning BPD to feel invalidated and without adequate support.
• 🧠 High-functioning BPD involves complex psychological mechanisms, including a split in one's psyche, which leads to a compartmentalization of trauma and a developed 'strong' persona.
• 🚫 Counter-dependency in high-functioning BPD is a defense against engulfment, leading to extreme self-reliance and a fear of needing others for emotional support.
• 💔 Emotional anorexia, or the refusal to accept love and affection, is a core mechanism in high-functioning BPD, often stemming from a belief of unworthiness or fear of attachment.
• 😶 Chronic emptiness and feelings of non-existence are common in high-functioning BPD, leading to a life devoid of true emotional connection and a sense of living on the sidelines.
• 🌱 Healing from high-functioning BPD involves reconnecting with the split-off parts of oneself, learning self-compassion, and integrating the inner child back into one's psyche.

Q & A

What is high functioning borderline personality disorder (BPD)?

High functioning BPD is a condition where individuals use multiple defense mechanisms such as splitting, dissociation, counter-dependency, and avoidance of feelings to cope with their symptoms. These individuals may appear to function well in society but suffer from mood swings, emptiness, and fear of abandonment internally.

Why is high functioning BPD often overlooked or misdiagnosed?

High functioning BPD is often overlooked because individuals with this condition can maintain a job, sustain friendships, and appear calm and competent on the surface. Their symptoms may only manifest in certain relationships or when triggered by specific events, making it difficult for others to recognize their struggles.

What are some of the psychological mechanisms that cause and perpetuate high-functioning BPD?

Some psychological mechanisms include a split in the psyche, counter-dependency, emotional anorexia, and chronic emptiness. These mechanisms are often a result of complex trauma and contribute to the individual's difficulty in forming healthy relationships and managing emotions.

How does the experience of complex trauma contribute to the development of high functioning BPD?

Complex trauma, often experienced in childhood, can lead to a psychic split where one part of the individual carries the trauma while the other part functions normally. This split can result in a disassociation from one's emotions and a reliance on defense mechanisms to cope with the trauma.

What is counter-dependency and how does it manifest in high functioning BPD?

Counter-dependency is a defense mechanism where individuals become overly self-reliant and avoid depending on others due to a fear of losing themselves or being abandoned. In high functioning BPD, this can lead to maintaining emotional distance and avoiding close relationships.

What is emotional anorexia, and how is it related to high functioning BPD?

Emotional anorexia is a refusal or difficulty in accepting love and emotional nourishment. In the context of high functioning BPD, it can manifest as a reluctance to trust intimacy and a fear of being hurt, leading to a denial of one's own need for attachment.

How does chronic emptiness affect individuals with high functioning BPD?

Chronic emptiness can lead to feelings of derealization or depersonalization, where individuals feel disconnected from their own body or life. It can also result in addictive behaviors as a means to fill an inner void and may contribute to a non-living state where individuals are unable to fully experience life.

What is the significance of the poem 'Not Waving but Drowning' in relation to high functioning BPD?

The poem 'Not Waving but Drowning' by Stevie Smith captures the predicament of individuals with high functioning BPD who may appear to be coping well on the surface but are actually struggling internally. It highlights the difficulty in recognizing and addressing the pain of those who do not outwardly display their suffering.

What is the first step towards healing for someone with high functioning BPD?

The first step towards healing is learning to trust oneself and recognizing that one is no longer a helpless child. It involves taking a compassionate stance towards one's own emotions and experiences, and expanding one's tolerance for a wider spectrum of life experiences.

How can individuals with high functioning BPD reintegrate their split-off parts?

Individuals with high functioning BPD can reintegrate their split-off parts by adopting a befriending stance towards their inner selves, acknowledging and comforting the parts that have been pushed into the shadows. This process involves recognizing and addressing the needs of the inner child, transforming the split-off parts into friendly messengers that signal the need for self-care and emotional expression.