14 Life Lessons I Wish I Knew Earlier
Summary
TLDRCe script de vidéo partage les leçons apprises par l'animateur après son diplôme universitaire et dans le monde réel. Il souligne l'importance de considérer qu'on est moins intelligent que les autres pour prendre de meilleures décisions et apprendre plus, la difficulté de gagner le respect des autres et la nécessité de changer son comportement pour améliorer sa réputation. Il met en avant l'efficacité de la bonne volonté, la valeur de la négociation, l'humilité et la compréhension que le succès et l'échec sont cycliques. L'animateur encourage à se concentrer sur l'apprentissage continu et à ne jamais prendre les choses pour acquises.
Takeaways
- 🧠 'Assume you're dumber than everyone else' - Adopting a mindset of humility can lead to better learning and decision-making as it opens you up to listening and learning from others.
- 🗣️ 'Stop talking to start learning' - Being quiet and attentive allows for greater absorption of knowledge and insights from others.
- 🔑 'Respect yourself to gain respect from others' - Changing one's behavior to align with self-respect can gradually shift how others perceive and respect you.
- 🎯 'Control your narrative with clear messaging' - Equip others with the right words to describe what you do, ensuring your message is accurately conveyed.
- 📚 'Read fewer, but better books' - Focus on reading quality books multiple times to deeply internalize the knowledge rather than skimming through many mediocre ones.
- 🏆 'Champions allocate their time differently' - Success often comes from eliminating distractions and focusing on a singular goal with ruthless efficiency.
- 💰 'Goodwill compounds faster than money' - Building positive sentiment and influence over others can lead to exponential growth in your network and opportunities.
- 💀 'Your legacy is fleeting' - Recognize the impermanence of life and the limited influence of others' opinions on your path.
- 🏋️♂️ 'Extraordinary accomplishments come from ordinary actions, consistently done' - Commitment to consistent action, regardless of the task's perceived ordinariness, leads to significant achievements.
- 🛠️ 'Do things worth doing, well' - Prioritize quality over quantity in your work, understanding that excellence requires time and dedication.
Q & A
Quel est le premier enseignement tiré de l'expérience après le collège?
-Le premier enseignement est que l'on prend de meilleures décisions et qu'on apprend plus en supposant qu'on est moins intelligent que tout le monde.
Pourquoi est-il important d'écouter plutôt que de parler pour apprendre et prendre de meilleures décisions?
-On ne peut pas apprendre si l'on parle constamment, et pour prendre de meilleures décisions, il est nécessaire d'apprendre et d'écouter les autres.
Quelle a été la leçon apprise concernant le respect d'autrui et comment cela a-t-il été changé?
-La leçon est que le respect le plus difficile à gagner est celui que l'on se doit à soi-même. L'auteur a changé son comportement en commençant par respecter lui-même, ce qui a progressivement influencé la perception des autres.
Comment équiper les gens avec les mots pour décrire ce que vous faites est-il important?
-Il est important d'équiper les gens avec des mots simples pour qu'ils puissent communiquer ce que vous faites, car sinon, ils ont du mal à décrire votre entreprise ou vos produits.
Pourquoi est-il préférable de lire un livre de qualité plusieurs fois plutôt que de lire cinq livres médiocres?
-Lire un livre de grande qualité plusieurs fois permet une compréhension plus profonde et une application pratique des connaissances, tandis que lire de nombreux livres médiocres ne conduit pas nécessairement à un changement de comportement.
Quelle est la différence entre les champions et les autres en termes d'allocation du temps?
-Les champions allouent leur temps différemment, étant plus sélectifs et prêts à sacrifier des choses pour se concentrer sur leurs objectifs, ce qui les rend plus efficaces.
Comment la bonne volonté se compare-t-elle à l'argent en termes de compound?
-La bonne volonté se compounde plus rapidement que l'argent car elle est basée sur les sentiments et l'influence sur le comportement des personnes, ce qui peut se propager rapidement.
Quelle est la perspective de l'auteur sur la mort et comment cela influence son approche de la vie?
-L'auteur considère que la mort est une évidence et que peu de temps après, les gens oublient les autres. Cela lui permet de mettre en perspective l'importance des opinions des autres et de se concentrer sur ses propres objectifs.
Pourquoi les accomplissements extraordinaires proviennent-ils de faire des choses ordinaires pendant des périodes extraordinaires?
-Les accomplissements extraordinaires sont le résultat de la persévérance et de la discipline dans des actions répétitives et ordinaires, ce qui avec le temps, conduit à des résultats significatifs.
Quelle est la stratégie de l'auteur pour déterminer si une tâche est valable la peine d'être faite correctement?
-L'auteur évalue d'abord si une tâche est valable la peine d'être faite du tout, puis il détermine si elle mérite d'être faite correctement en fonction de l'investissement de temps et des résultats escomptés.
Comment la négociation est-elle vue par l'auteur et en quoi cela a-t-il appris à le faire différemment?
-L'auteur a appris que presque tout est négociable et qu'il faut comprendre les besoins des autres et les siens propres pour parvenir à un accord où toutes les parties gagnent, sans négliger ses valeurs.
Quelle est la définition de l'humilité selon l'auteur et comment cela influence-t-elle le statut social?
-L'humilité est définie comme l'augmentation du respect pour les autres plutôt que la diminution de soi. Elle permet d'augmenter le statut social en donnant plus au groupe que ce que l'on reçoit en retour.
Comment l'auteur a-t-il géré ses émotions et ses attentes pour se concentrer sur son propre chemin?
-L'auteur a adopté une perspective où il considère que les actions des autres sont motivées par leur propre désir de se sentir mieux, ce qui lui a permis de se détacher des jugements et de se concentrer sur ses propres objectifs.
Quel est le cycle que l'auteur décrit pour la réussite entrepreneuriale et comment cela influence-t-il sa philosophie?
-L'auteur décrit un cycle de réussite entrepreneuriale où l'échec conduit à l'apprentissage, qui conduit à la réussite, qui conduit à la complaisance, qui conduit à l'échec. Il s'efforce d'identifier et de surmonter rapidement les leçons à apprendre pour avancer.
Pourquoi l'auteur est-il prêt à payer pour rendre les vérités évidentes et comment cela affecte-t-il sa vision de l'entrepreneuriat?
-L'auteur est prêt à payer pour accélérer le processus de découverte de vérités évidentes car cela lui permet de voir le monde plus clairement et d'améliorer sa stratégie entrepreneuriale, réduisant ainsi l'impôt de l'ignorance.
Outlines
😌 Leçons apprises après le collège
Le narrateur partage les 13 leçons qu'il a apprises après son diplôme et souhaite avoir su plus tôt. La première leçon est qu'en se considérant comme moins intelligent que les autres, on prend de meilleures décisions et on apprend plus. Il a appris cela en se rendant compte qu'en parlant toujours le plus, il en apprenait moins sur les autres. Il a également appris que le respect est gagné en changeant son comportement et en commençant par se respecter soi-même. Il souligne également l'importance de donner aux gens les mots pour décrire ce que l'on fait, ce qui est crucial pour la communication et la marketing des entreprises.
📚 L'efficacité de la lecture répétée
Le narrateur discute de son approche de la lecture, expliquant qu'il achète de nombreux livres mais ne les lit pas tous en entier. Il préfère lire plusieurs fois les livres qu'il estime valables jusqu'à ce qu'il puisse enseigner leur contenu. Il croit que cela permet une meilleure compréhension et un changement de comportement, ce qui est essentiel pour apprendre réellement quelque chose. Il mentionne également que les livres anciens sont souvent meilleurs car ils sont écrits avec l'intention de transmettre des connaissances plutôt que pour gagner de l'argent ou de la notoriété.
🏆 L'importance de la concentration et du sacrifice
Le narrateur explique que les champions ne possèdent pas quelque chose de spécial, mais plutôt ils manquent de certaines choses que la plupart des gens ont, comme le temps pour les distractions. Il souligne que les champions牺牲 plus et ont une focalisation singulière, ce qui les mène à réussir. Il partage également sa propre expérience où il a pris du temps à apprendre la valeur de dire non aux choses non essentielles pour se concentrer sur les objectifs importants.
💸 La bonté se cumule plus vite que l'argent
Le narrateur discute de la notion que la bonté (Goodwill) se cumule plus rapidement que l'argent. Il explique que la bonté est une forme d'influence positive sur les autres et que cela peut se multiplier rapidement, contrairement à l'argent. Il mentionne que la bonté peut être convertie en argent à un moment donné, mais le focus devrait être sur la construction de l'audience et la bonté, qui se développent de manière exponentielle et sont免税的.
💀 La mort et l'opinion des autres
Le narrateur aborde la perspective de la mort et comment cela affecte notre perception de l'importance des opinions des autres. Il mentionne que peu de temps après notre décès, la plupart des gens oublieront notre existence, ce qui devrait nous amener à nous poser la question de combien d'importance devons-nous accorder aux opinions des autres sur la façon de vivre notre vie. Il suggère que nous devrions ignorer les opinions des autres sauf si celles-ci viennent de personnes qui ont un intérêt à notre réussite et la compétence pour nous donner des conseils.
🏋️♂️ Réussite extraordinaire par l'accumulation de petites choses
Le narrateur soutient que les accomplissements extraordinaires proviennent de faire des choses ordinaires pendant des périodes extraordinaires. Il partage son expérience personnelle de jeunesse où il croyait qu'il fallait ajouter constamment de nouvelles choses à son 'plateau' et dire oui à toutes les opportunités. Il a appris plus tard que la concentration sur une seule chose et la persévérance dans cette action, malgré les distractions et les nouvelles opportunités, est ce qui mène à la réussite.
🛠️ Faire les choses correctement ou ne les faire pas du tout
Le narrateur discute de la différence entre faire les choses correctement et simplement les faire. Il mentionne qu'il a pris des raccourcis et n'a pas fait les choses correctement lorsqu'il était jeune, ce qui a eu un impact sur la qualité de son travail. Il souligne l'importance de comprendre que si quelque chose est valable la faire, il faut le faire correctement et le temps que cela prend pour le faire correctement est essentiel pour la réussite à long terme.
💼 Tout est négociable, sauf vos valeurs
Le narrateur explique qu'il a appris que presque tout est négociable, y compris les prix, les termes et les relations. Il partage son expérience de négociation initiale où il croyait que tout était un échange équivalent, mais plus tard, il a compris que le but de la négociation est de trouver un accord où toutes les parties se sentent meilleures. Il souligne l'importance de ne pas négocier sur ses valeurs et de trouver un équilibre entre les besoins actuels et futurs de toutes les parties impliquées.
🙏 L'humilité est une vertu
Le narrateur discute de l'humilité et comment il a appris que cela ne signifie pas penser moins de soi mais plutôt penser plus des autres. Il explique que le statut et le respect viennent de donner plus au groupe que ce que l'on reçoit en retour. Il partage son expérience de jeunesse où il croyait qu'il fallait posturer pour gagner le respect des autres, mais plus tard, il a réalisé que le respect vient de servir les autres et d'augmenter leur statut.
😔 Le bonheur vient de l'acceptation de soi-même
Le narrateur partage son introspection sur la tristesse et la colère de sa jeunesse, qui provenaient de ses propres attentes et de la pression de se sentir insuffisant. Il explique comment il a changé sa perspective en se concentrant sur l'acceptation de lui-même et en comprenant que les autres agissent souvent pour se sentir mieux eux-mêmes. Cette acceptation lui a permis de se concentrer sur l'action plutôt que sur la recherche de la validation extérieure.
🔄 Le cycle de l'échec, de l'apprentissage, de la réussite et de la complaisance
Le narrateur décrit le cycle naturel de l'échec, d'apprentissage, de réussite et de complaisance, soulignant que cela n'est pas une destination mais un cycle continu. Il mentionne que la réussite est souvent suivie de complaisance, ce qui mène à l'échec, et que l'objectif est de passer rapidement à travers le cycle pour éviter la complaisance et de continuer à apprendre et à croître. Il encourage à voir l'échec et la réussite comme des étapes vers la réussite et à ne pas s'arrêter dans le complaisance.
💡 Acheter la connaissance pour voir la réalité plus clairement
Le narrateur conclut en disant qu'il paierait n'importe quel prix pour voir les vérités évidentes plus clairement. Il compare la lutte pour la réussite en entreprise à essayer de viser un objectif avec un bandeau sur les yeux, soulignant l'importance de voir la réalité comme elle est pour être plus efficace. Il mentionne qu'il est prêt à payer pour se débarrasser des fausses vérités et à acquérir des connaissances qui lui permettront de voir le monde de manière plus précise et de réussir dans le jeu des affaires.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Apprentissage
💡Réputation
💡Négociation
💡Humilité
💡Bonheur
💡Complaisance
💡Échec
💡Ordinaire
💡Statut
💡Valeur
Highlights
Assume you're dumber than everyone else to make better decisions and learn more.
Talking less allows for more learning and better decision-making.
Let others edify you by talking about themselves to learn more about them.
Respect yourself first to earn respect from others.
Change your behavior to improve your reputation.
Equip people with simple language to describe your business or products.
Reading one great book multiple times is more valuable than reading many mediocre ones.
Older books often have better content due to the author's intent to transmit knowledge.
Read a book multiple times until you can teach its content.
Behavior change is the true measure of learning from a book.
Champions allocate their time differently, often sacrificing more.
Goodwill compounds faster than money and can be translated into it when desired.
People forget about you quickly after you die, so ignore others' opinions unless they have your best interest.
Extraordinary accomplishments come from doing ordinary things for extended periods.
If it's worth doing, it's worth doing well.
Be willing to negotiate everything except for your values.
Humility is about increasing your regard for others, not decreasing it for yourself.
When you're sad, your focus is on feeling better, which can limit your actions and progress.
Failure leads to learning, which leads to success, which can lead to complacency and back to failure.
Paying to make obvious truths real for oneself can greatly accelerate success.
Transcripts
13 lessons I learned after graduating
college from The Real World that I wish
I had learned earlier the first is that
you make better decisions and you learn
more by assuming that you're dumber than
everyone else the reason this was
something that took me a long time to
learn is that when I was in college it
was all about showing how smart you were
it was about talking more in the group
meetings about raising your hand more in
the classroom I took that and started
translating in the real world and I
realized that I didn't learn very much
because I was the one talking all the
time and it only took a few times of me
getting introduced to somebody someone
would introduce us and I would basically
spend the whole time blabbering on about
how great I was and how much I knew only
to find out later that this person was
way above me in business and whatever
things that I was pursuing at the time
and then I felt tons of Shame and
embarrassment about how stupid I was for
doing that I had to shift the way that I
talked to new people and the way that I
entered rooms and I'll be real I still
talked probably too much but at least
being aware of that lesson as early as
it could I wish I had learned it earlier
fundamentally you can't learn if you're
talking and so if you're trying to learn
then not talk talking is the first
requisite for doing that and if you want
to make better decisions than you need
to learn this was a big Epiphany I had I
got introduced once to somebody I was
walking peripherally after I had left
and somebody else went up to them and
was like do you know who that guy is and
in that moment I realized that my
positioning was now Sky High because I
didn't have to be the one to say it the
idea that I realized was how can I get
other people to edify me because what I
had to allow people to do was to make
the same mistake that I used to make
which is that someone young someone
inexperienced someone less aware
whatever would come up and then start
posturing themselves and blathering on
about everything that they're doing and
me I might be way ahead of them but I
would listen and see if there's anything
interesting and so on that conversation
I learned more than they did I learned
what type of person they are I learned
where they're at with their career if
they had anything interesting that would
be worth following up with they learned
nothing they felt good about themselves
and then later would feel bad about
themselves when that other person went
over and told them and so I was like of
these two scenarios which would I rather
do would I rather have someone have a
conversation with me and then not know
who I was but be able to learn because
that's the that's the worst case
scenario or would I rather blather on
learn nothing either I am above them and
then they're like well [ __ ] that guy he
brags or I'm below them and I'm the
[ __ ] so I stopped doing that so that
was lesson number one lesson number two
was that the hardest respect to earned
is one zone what I realized and this was
something that was really hard for me is
that I had a pretty bad reputation in
the very beginning of my college career
in all of my high school career and it
was because I drank too much I was
irresponsible I slept around a lot and I
wasn't representing the tempers that I
wanted to be and so I felt ashamed of
the behaviors that I did but I didn't
change them and so it was only through a
conversation I had with my father where
I said how do I change my reputation how
do I get these people to stop saying
this stuff and I thought there was some
like PR marketing angle that I could
take that I could control the narrative
and he said why don't you stop being a
piece of [ __ ] and he said that in his
own you know in his own words and I was
like that can't be it I'll figure out a
way when parents talk to kids they're
listening but they're not listening that
really stuck with me and I started
thinking about it and so I said like
well if I wanted to be somebody who's
respectable what would I do and so then
I try to start acting in that way to be
someone who's respect my own I would
earn and so when I started doing that
nothing changed externally people still
treated me like I was a piece of [ __ ]
and they were probably right but my
behavior began to change and then slowly
so did my reputation but it started with
me trying to respect myself first and
then others began to respect me as a
result if you want to control what
people think control what they say this
is the third lesson I learned and this
is more of a business marketing lesson
but if you want to talk about products
and services you have to equip people
with the words to describe what you have
because otherwise you're asking them to
solve the problem of how to describe
your business and if right now you can't
even figure out how you're going to
describe your business and you own the
darn thing how do you expect them to do
it in half second when they're telling
their friend and so this is really about
equipping people with simple language so
they can communicate what you do so for
example at acquisition.com the mission
when I started the business was to
document and share the best practice of
building world-class companies most
people don't know what that means and so
I have now and we probably will shift
the language to make real business
education available to everyone they
functionally mean the same thing but
giving people the words to describe it
in a way that they understand allows me
to give them more so they can explain to
somebody else you get more out of
reading one book that's great five times
than out of reading five mediocre books
I don't read many books and what I mean
by that is I buy lots of books I skim
most of them and quickly realize that
it's not worth reading and so then I
toss them aside because just because
someone wrote a book doesn't mean you
need to finish it has nothing to do with
you it means that they didn't organize
it well I have found that books that are
older in general tend to be better
because the reason the person wrote it
was a different intention they wrote it
because they wanted to transmit
knowledge to the Next Generation whereas
the people who write books now are
either writing for money writing for
notoriety or writing them to sell other
[ __ ] if you find books where the author
is actually writing because they want
you to convey knowledge to the Next
Generation those tend to be better books
in my experience because the intent is
to actually teach not to persuade slight
difference when you do find those gems I
have realized that if I read something
once end to end I still don't know it
yet I will read a book two times three
times four times five times until I can
teach the book when I feel like it is
worth learning and then once I have like
squeeze the book for everything that it
has to the point where I can convey the
message to somebody else like I can
teach the concepts of the book which is
something that I've done many times or
I'll actually make a presentation on the
book so that I can wrap my own
Frameworks around how I can remember it
that's where a lot of these Frameworks
come from is because it's me trying to
make sense of the world in a way that I
can remember if your behavior doesn't
change as a result of reading a book and
it means you've learned nothing which
means it was a waste of time and many
people who read books are just wasting
their time because their behavior
doesn't change and so I consolidate once
I find something that's good I plug
everything I possibly can into it and
suck the juice out of it so that I can
change my behavior as a result which
comes from the Frameworks and how I
think about it how deeply do you
understand the knowledge of the book
there's a handful of books that if you
just did them for the rest of your life
you'd win because if you just did how to
make friends and influence people and
you put it into your DNA you would be
successful number five is that most
Champions do not have something that you
do not they lack something that you have
it's a different thought process because
if all of us have the exact same hours
per day it means that they're allocating
their time differently many times they
eliminate things that you are still
doing they have sacrificed more they
have given up things that you have
continued to have on your tree 3 as
branches that are distracting from
growing up Champions when I look at the
people who are further ahead of me
they're even more ruthless with their
time they even have lower tolerance for
friends family people around them that
are not at the bar that they hold
themselves to for me going through
college or you know when I was younger I
always thought it was about adding to
your plate saying yes to everything
saying yes to opportunity say yes say
yes yes when all I did was I just
completely got distracted and spread
super thin what most Champions have is
singular focus and they are willing to
say no to everything else and that took
me too long to learn six is that
Goodwill compounds faster than money
like if you actually think about what
Goodwill is it's that you have positive
sentiment and you have a degree of
influence over a person's Behavior
that's what good will is if one person
has Goodwill with you and then shares
your stuff with somebody else and you
create Goodwill in that next person you
can double your Goodwill or 10x your
Goodwill in a matter of 12 weeks 10xing
your money in a matter 12 weeks is very
very unlikely Goodwill because it's
based on audiences and humans can
compound significantly faster than money
can and when I realized that that
Goodwill could be translated into money
if I so desired at a future date then I
realized and rather than focusing on the
money that I'm trying to make today
water and I focus on the compounding
vehicle that compounds at a much faster
rate than money does that compounds
tax-free by the way building the
audience is tax free and then when you
choose to have the conversion event you
can do that at your own choosing but if
you focus on the audience you focus on
the Goodwill that will grow
significantly faster than any kind of
monetary move but you can still
translate that later into money when you
want seven is that you're going to die
two weeks after you die most people have
forgotten about you and six months after
you died no one will talk about you and
if they're not caring enough then then
it certainly doesn't matter what they
think about your life now because if
that's the most significant event that's
going to happen in your life which is
that you stop living how much
credibility or weight should we give to
other people's opinions on what we
should do with our lives in my opinion
very little unless the person has a
vested interest in seeing you succeed
comma and the context to provide the
advice most of the times it's just worth
ignoring because they're trying to live
their own life and they're projecting
their own beliefs and experiences on you
and you've spent all this time trying to
improve your own view of reality the the
beliefs that you've shed and shifted
that they have not and so what they
believe to be true is what they're
casting on to you and if you don't like
the life they have then I don't think
it's worth listening to eight
extraordinary accomplishments come from
doing ordinary things for Extraordinary
periods of time this is just me speaking
about me but when I was younger my
action showed that I was more impatient
I always was willing to sacrifice what I
had today to get the quick Buck I you
know I was always I was Shifty like that
because I just thought that that was how
it worked I thought there was some
Shortcut I didn't know about and I would
see the guys on stages being like this
is what we do we do the basics and we do
a lot of it I was like they're just
trying to hold the secrets back and I'm
here to tell you that that is not true
like I wish I could go and shake my
college self and be like if you do one
thing for a very long period of time you
will get very good at it and it will
Compound on to itself and maybe I would
listen to me if I mean if future self
showed up in my living room now I would
totally listen to him but you know what
I mean and so I can't do that so the
next best thing I can do is try and
Shake You by the collar the thing that
makes the action extraordinary is the
commitment to it not the nature of the
action itself working out and doing reps
is not extraordinary if you saw one set
of a workout from me at the gym you
wouldn't think oh this guy is amazing
look at them quads
it's the fact that you do it for 23
years is what compounds on itself if you
listen to one guy make one phone call
you listen to one major league baseball
player one at bat nothing about that is
extraordinary it's the dedication to
doing it over and over and over and over
again despite feeling like there's
better opportunities despite people
approaching you with new and exciting
things but saying that you're committed
to the original Vision you had and that
reality has not changed in such a way
that your native beliefs are no longer
true you said I believe that X Y and Z
is true and as long as that remains to
be true then I will continue on this
path for an extraordinary period of time
and that not the action itself but your
commitment to the action is what makes
someone extraordinary nine if it's worth
doing it's worth doing well this is a
really great saying I shortcuted so much
stuff when I was younger I just wanted
to like get it done get it done get it
done rather than doing it well there's
kind of two ways you can take the saying
which is why I like it so much is that
if it's worth doing it's worth doing
well because many times I was doing
things that were not worth doing I
didn't have the time to do things well
because I was doing so many things that
were not worth doing the first criteria
is what problem are we solving what am I
hoping to accomplish is this worth doing
at all because if it is worth doing then
I have to understand that to do it comma
right to do it well it's going to take
this much time now given that is it
still worth doing and if it passes that
test of a being worth doing in the Long
Haul and because it is worth doing worth
doing well then it gives us this lens
through which to see the activities we
do so that we can prioritize the things
that will make us the most money are
going to get us closer to the goals we
have and so younger me had more energy
than me does now I make way more money
than younger me did is because I do
fewer things and I do different things
than I did then and now if I write a
book I'll take a year on writing the
book because if it's worth doing it's
worth doing well because I understand
that taking one year today will mean
that that book might sit and sell and
distribute itself to millions of people
over the next 50 years or 100 years or
after I'm dead compared to me just
putting words on a page that are pretty
good and then shipping it and I think
the vast majority of people don't get
the difference between good and great
the Ocean between good work and great
great work is vast it's five times ten
times the work to go from something good
to something great which is why you have
to be really selective about the few
things you choose to do that are worth
doing and in being worth doing worth
doing well 10. be willing to negotiate
everything except for your values and so
there were so many things when I was
coming up that like in college even
right after college is jobs like I
always just took things at face value so
prices terms relationships everything I
took it face value so whatever someone
presented I said yes or no to I have now
realized that virtually everything is
negotiable people present with basically
their best bad guess and they're hoping
that someone takes them by the hand and
says you know that makes no sense what
if we did it this way what problem are
you solving what problem am I solving
and then ask the right questions to get
someone else's true desires and wants
and then knowing what your own true
desires and wants and what you're
willing to give up allows you to make
better deals and so I used to think of
negotiating as a zero-sum game and it's
not at all you can find a way where both
parties get better than they were before
which is the entire point that is how
negotiating works if you're doing it
well and so I didn't understand that I
thought everything was an armrest so I
thought everything was like this for
that Tit for Tat like no give and I also
thought really short about it I was like
I was trying to get one over I was
ruthless with vendors I swung in the
other direction so first I didn't
negotiate anything and then I found out
you could negotiate and then tried to
get everyone to give me their last penny
but then I realized that this long term
doesn't create good relationships and
they will not be loyal to you at all
which long term has a more negative
impact than giving them the extra 10 and
having an amicable relationship you want
to negotiate everything except for your
values I negotiated everything in that
second example including my values
because I was doing business in a way
that was contrary to the values that I
wanted to espouse wanted to embody
because the deals we do with
acquisition.com for example like I could
probably ask for significantly more than
I do and I've had many times for people
like I want to give you this I'm like I
don't want that because I don't think
you know what that means this is what I
think is fair today and in 10 years and
so it's balancing both your need today
your need in 10 years and their need
today and there needed 10 years and you
have those four points and you try and
find the closest point given your
reality and you can explain that this is
how you're thinking through it with them
and I think they will appreciate all
four data points on the map to come to
the best solution for today and tomorrow
11.
[Music]
humility this is a big one because I
want to be a different voice on this
because I have heard all over the
Internet recently people saying humility
is stupid if you looked up what the word
means you wouldn't want to be it because
if you look it up on Google it says
thinking less of oneself this is why
looking and defining terms is important
because if you look at Merriam-Webster
for example it's lack of Pride or
arrogance I don't think people would say
you wouldn't want that I was like no I
think I think people are okay not being
popular arrogant I think that's okay but
even more so and the definition that I
have taken on is actually the exact
opposite of that which is it is not
decreasing your regard for self but
increasing your regard for others that's
from Clayton Christensen who's a Harvard
Professor go to the human I thought that
posturing when I was younger was the
thing that would get people to like me
but what I realized later was that you
gain status by giving more to the group
than you get this is especially true for
guys it's probably true for girls but I
can't speak to that if you want to gain
status the way you do it is by
sacrificing more for the group that
everyone else does if you want to gain
status in a company you give more to the
company than anyone else does more than
company gives you back because what do
they do they reward that behavior the
group rewards the person who gives to
the group it's how it works the people
who take from the group they only go in
to get status from the group end up
getting banished by the group and batted
down because everyone wants to keep that
person down because they don't serve
anyone else and so it was only by
realizing that I had to give my life in
order to get it I had to give status I
had to serve because when you serve
someone you're giving them status you're
increasing your guard for others when I
gave status I got it back when I gave
respect first I would get respect back
and it was understanding that group
dynamic which is what made me president
of the fraternity that I was in all of
these things started compounding when I
realized that truth and if you do that I
promise you you will have all the status
you want 12.
the happy man has a thousand Wishes the
sad man has won this is a little bit
more of a heartfelt one for me because
when I was younger I was definitely
angrier probably darker in general and a
lot of that came because I had
expectations that were fictitious real
or otherwise from other people in my
mind that existed who were constantly
judging the behaviors and actions I was
doing every day and were telling me that
I was not enough in some ways that
created and reinforced behaviors that I
still continue to this day in terms of
the actions I take but the way that I
feel and think about them has shifted
when you are sad you want to not be sad
that's the main focus you want to feel
better and many times people will take
the short-term way of getting out of
that which is alcohol drugs Etc because
in the moment they can feel better
everyone just wants to feel better and
so when I think about things that I used
to think people were wronging me right
you know get all angry and I'd spin
myself out I use a different frame now
which is they just wanted to feel better
do you think it had nothing to do with
me and they just wanted to feel better
about themselves and that's given me a
lot of Peace about many of the things
that used to anger me being able to
quiet the hundreds of non-existent
voices in my head that were constantly
judging the activities that I was doing
and labeling them good or bad or good
enough or not good enough Etc took up a
tremendous amount of my attention and
because of that all of my focus was on
feeling better and so I couldn't
actually have any energy left over to do
stuff because all I was focused on was
feeling better and all I was spending
all my day was in my head trying to not
feel like [ __ ] and doing both short and
long-term things to do that and so it
was only when I came up with a mantra
which I have said before but [ __ ]
happiness which sounds ironic because I
said the person who's happy is a
thousand wishes but in choosing not to
admit the deficiency between my current
state and the future state of what I
desire to be I was able to accept where
I was and then the deficiency of not
being good enough not being happy enough
disintegrated in my mind and then I was
able to focus on just doing things and
then when I started doing things I
started making progress when I started
making progress I started looking back
and feeling proud of how far I had come
because it wasn't about the many voices
outside it was about the only one that
mattered and so that shift is what I
think genuinely from Spirit social
standpoint is the thing that was able to
give me the strength to do some of the
things we have done but I wouldn't have
been able to ever start on this path
because I was paralyzed about what I
thought other people were going to think
about me only to realize that they
weren't thinking about me at all 13.
failure leads to learning learning leads
to success success leads to complacency
complacency leads to failure and so a
lot of times I remember thinking that
like there was a destination but I think
the actual entrepreneurial cycle it's
not a destination it's not linear it's
cyclical and so that's why I talk about
entrepreneurship in terms of Seasons
because there are Cycles where you learn
a lot right I used to say this a lot
where I'd say either the business is
growing or I am either I have learned
lessons and I am applying those lessons
to the business and the business is
growing or the business is not growing
and has problems and now I am the one
receiving the lessons from the business
and until I learned the lesson that I'm
supposed to learn the business will
cease to grow until I have learned this
lesson until I beat this boss at this
level and the difference between video
games in real life is that sometimes in
order to beat that boss you're not doing
it in 10 minutes it might take you 10
years recognizing that you are not above
the cycle but that that cycle is
inevitable because you have failure
learning success complacency the goal is
if you can identify that how quickly can
you get back to learning success
learning success and try and skip the
complacency step altogether it still
happens to a degree when I can start
feeling the feelings and it's rearing
its head I'm aware of it and it allows
me to speed through it faster into the
same degree I stop labeling things as
good or bad because if I'm failing it
means I'm about to go through learning
and I see learning is good and on the
flip side if I'm succeeding I succeeding
is good and so either way they lead to
my success and framing it that way took
a lot of the judgment and the label and
the depression around not achievement
away from me and also when things are
good it allowed me to not be so high on
my Supply because I knew that whenever
things were good everything is good is
followed by something that is not as
good and so you always have regression
to the mean right you have regression to
the mean and so things are amazing then
it means they can only go down from here
if things are terrible it means it can
only go up 14 is that I would pay any
amount of money to make obvious truths
real for me there is a reality that no
one can see right now true reality and
no one can see it because we are shape
by the many things that we've been told
throughout our lives and many of those
things were not true much of the path of
Entrepreneurship in my opinion is
shedding these false truths so that you
can see the world more clearly if you
see these business people are super far
ahead and all of a sudden it's like they
can lose it and then they can get it all
back in and things seem so seamless for
them it's because they have a more
accurate view of reality than you do and
so imagine trying to hit a target with a
blindfold on you're just gonna keep
missing and keep missing and keep
missing now imagine there's a guy next
to you who's got a blindfold on too but
it's clear and he's just nailing it and
you're like what the hell I'm doing the
same thing with my wrist I'm doing you
know I've got I've got all this
technique down it's simply because he
sees the Target and he sees all the
environment around it more clearly than
you do and for me the whole concept of
ignorance tax and ignorance debt has
been one that I have taken with me for
life and I actually heard this a speaker
said this on stage and he was actually
using it as a close for the audience he
said how much is not making a million
dollars a year costing you he's like
well if you make fifty thousand dollars
a year right now he said it cost you
nine hundred and fifty thousand dollars
a year to not not know how to make a
million dollars and I thought about that
and I was like [ __ ] we were paying a
Debt Service to a false reality in order
to get the real one and so for me I will
pay any amount of money to speed that
process up to see the world more clearly
in a way that is true and if the views
that I have do not serve me and someone
else is further ahead of me in the game
than they are better at the game of
business than me in some way and in that
way I can learn of them doesn't matter
what they're doing some people are like
oh this guy's unethical this guy's you
can learn from everyone if they're
making more money than you you can learn
from them and so taking that and taking
my ego head off right taking my ego hat
off and saying like I'm the student here
this guy's better in some way what does
he believe to be true about the world I
don't or what do I believe to be true
that isn't and simply trying to observe
to see those realities is something that
I will always pay for if you're a
company and you're doing 10 million
dollars or more acquisition.com would
like to help you get 200 million if
that's you go to acquisition.com
everybody else enjoy all the free stuff
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