Stop Porn Thoughts Forever! w/ Dr. Trish Leigh

Summary

In this insightful video, Dr. Trish Leigh addresses the recurring issue of pornographic thoughts and their impact on the brain. She explains these thoughts as a call for healing and offers two strategies: an 'offensive plan' for creating a dopamine-rich life through enjoyable activities and relationships, and a 'defensive plan' for dealing with intrusive thoughts by replacing them with healthy fantasies or grounding oneself in reality. Dr. Leigh encourages viewers to take control of their brain to prevent it from controlling them.

Takeaways

• 🧠 The brain may generate pornographic thoughts as a response to stress or a need for stimulation and calming.
• 🔄 These thoughts are not inherently sexual but are a call for healing and a signal that the brain is seeking a way to regulate mood.
• 💡 The speaker suggests that the brain might be functioning too quickly and needs a break when intrusive thoughts occur.
• 📉 The use of porn can lead to feelings of anxiety, depression, and lack of motivation, which in turn can trigger a cycle of seeking relief through porn.
• 🛠️ An 'offensive plan' involves setting up a life that naturally produces dopamine through work, relationships, and hobbies, reducing the reliance on porn for mood regulation.
• 🕒 Patience and self-compassion are necessary during the transition period as the brain relearns to seek dopamine from healthier sources.
• 🤝 The importance of maintaining social connections and repairing relationships for emotional support and dopamine production is highlighted.
• 🎯 The speaker emphasizes the value of having something to look forward to, such as hobbies or social events, as a way to crowd out pornographic thoughts.
• 🚫 A 'defensive plan' includes not engaging with the intrusive thought but replacing it with a healthier fantasy or grounding oneself in reality.
• 🏖️ Swapping out sexual fantasies with non-sexual, joyful memories or anticipations can provide a healthier form of dopamine release.
• 🏡 Creating a pleasant and dopamine-producing environment can help in grounding one's thoughts and reducing the appeal of pornographic fantasies.

Q & A

What is the main topic discussed in the video by Dr. Trish Leigh?

The main topic discussed in the video is how to deal with intrusive porn thoughts, understand what triggers them, and strategies to stop them from recurring.

What does Dr. Trish Leigh suggest is the underlying cause of porn thoughts in the brain?

Dr. Trish Leigh suggests that porn thoughts are a call for stimulation or calming, often a response to stress or boredom, and a way for the brain to seek dopamine.

What are the two types of thoughts that Dr. Trish Leigh mentions in the script?

The two types of thoughts mentioned are euphoric recall, which involves memories of past experiences, and fantasies about future encounters or situations.

According to Dr. Trish Leigh, what is the significance of these thoughts in terms of healing?

Dr. Trish Leigh explains that these thoughts are a call for healing, indicating that they are not sexual in nature but rather a signal that something needs attention or change in one's life.

What is the 'offensive plan' that Dr. Trish Leigh recommends to deal with intrusive thoughts?

The 'offensive plan' involves setting up a life that naturally produces dopamine through enjoyable activities, relationships, and hobbies, thus reducing the reliance on porn for dopamine release.

How does Dr. Trish Leigh suggest changing one's daily routine to avoid stress and intrusive thoughts?

She suggests taking breaks throughout the day to do things one enjoys, maintaining social connections, repairing relationships, and engaging in hobbies to create a balanced day filled with lower levels of dopamine.

What are the two strategies Dr. Trish Leigh provides for immediate response when an intrusive thought occurs?

The two strategies are: 1) Replacing the intrusive thought with a healthy fantasy thought, and 2) Grounding oneself in reality by focusing on immediate, dopamine-producing elements in the environment.

How does Dr. Trish Leigh define a 'healthy fantasy thought'?

A 'healthy fantasy thought' is a non-sexual thought that brings joy and produces dopamine, such as thinking about a favorite vacation, a funny event, or a cherished person.

What does Dr. Trish Leigh mean by 'grounding in reality' and how does it help with intrusive thoughts?

Grounding in reality involves pulling one's focus away from fantasies and anchoring it in the present environment, using elements that naturally produce dopamine, like pictures or objects that bring joy.

What is the 'pivot plan kit' that Dr. Trish Leigh mentions for creating a grounding experience?

The 'pivot plan kit' is a tool provided in Dr. Trish Leigh's program to help individuals create a personalized plan for grounding themselves and dealing with intrusive thoughts by focusing on real-life dopamine producers.

How can viewers get more help from Dr. Trish Leigh if they are interested in her programs?

Viewers can reach out to Dr. Trish Leigh through her website, DrTrishLeigh.com, to explore her programs and find one that suits their needs for dealing with intrusive thoughts.

Outlines

00:00

🧠 Rewiring the Brain for Porn Thoughts

Dr. Trish Leigh discusses the brain's response to pornographic thoughts and offers strategies to manage them. She explains that these thoughts are a call for healing and can be triggered by the brain seeking stimulation or a way to de-stress. The summary includes the importance of understanding the brain's need for dopamine and how to retrain it to seek fulfillment from healthier sources like work, relationships, and hobbies. Dr. Leigh introduces the concept of an 'offensive plan' to proactively set up a life that naturally produces dopamine and a 'defensive plan' for when intrusive thoughts occur, emphasizing the need for patience and self-compassion during the transition.

05:01

🛡️ Managing Intrusive Thoughts with a Defensive Plan

This paragraph delves into the defensive plan for dealing with intrusive thoughts. Dr. Leigh advises against engaging with the thought and instead suggests replacing it with a healthy fantasy or grounding oneself in reality with dopamine-producing activities. She provides examples of how to swap out sexual fantasies for non-sexual ones, like reminiscing about a favorite vacation or a humorous event. The summary also touches on the importance of creating an environment that is conducive to joy and productivity, using personal anecdotes to illustrate how finding humor in everyday situations can be a source of dopamine.

10:03

🌟 Creating a Dopamine-Rich Environment for a Healthy Mind

The final paragraph focuses on the importance of creating an environment that stimulates dopamine production in a healthy way. Dr. Leigh emphasizes the need to pull oneself out of unhealthy fantasies and back into reality, where dopamine can be naturally obtained. She suggests personalizing one's space with items that bring joy, such as pictures of loved ones or favorite places, to create a calming and motivating atmosphere. The summary highlights the benefits of this approach in maintaining a positive mindset and provides an invitation to join Dr. Leigh's 90-day program for further guidance on managing the brain's response to stress and stimulation.

Keywords

💡Intrusive thoughts

Intrusive thoughts are unwanted, involuntary ideas that can be distressing or disturbing. In the context of the video, these thoughts are linked to pornographic content and can occur even when one is engaged in other activities like working. The video discusses how these thoughts are a signal for the brain to seek stimulation or calming, often as a response to stress or boredom.

💡Euphoric recall

Euphoric recall refers to the pleasant memories or fantasies about past experiences that can evoke a strong emotional response. The script mentions that some people might have euphoric recall about past relationships or fantasies about future ones, which can be a form of intrusive thought related to the theme of the video.

💡Dopamine

Dopamine is a neurotransmitter associated with reward, motivation, and pleasure. The video emphasizes the role of dopamine in the brain's response to pornographic thoughts, suggesting that these thoughts can trigger a dopamine release, creating a cycle of seeking stimulation to achieve the same pleasurable state.

💡Stress regulation

Stress regulation is the process of managing and coping with stress. The script discusses how intrusive porn thoughts can be a call for stress regulation, indicating that the brain is seeking ways to de-stress, such as through the release of dopamine.

💡Offensive plan

In the video, an offensive plan is a proactive strategy to combat intrusive thoughts by setting up a lifestyle that naturally produces dopamine through enjoyable activities, relationships, and hobbies. It's about creating a balanced day that provides lower levels of dopamine spread across various aspects of life.

💡Defensive plan

A defensive plan, as mentioned in the script, is a set of immediate actions to take when an intrusive thought occurs. It involves not engaging with the thought and replacing it with a healthier alternative, thus breaking the cycle of seeking dopamine from the intrusive thought.

💡Fantasy

Fantasy in this context refers to mental images or scenarios that are not based in reality but can be emotionally engaging. The video discusses the need to replace sexual fantasies that trigger intrusive thoughts with healthier, non-sexual fantasies that can still provide a dopamine boost.

💡Hijacker

The term 'hijacker' is used metaphorically in the video to describe the intrusive thoughts that take control of one's attention and emotions. The goal is to 'trick' this hijacker by redirecting the dopamine release to healthier sources, thus regaining control over one's thoughts.

💡Grounding

Grounding is the act of bringing one's focus back to the present reality, often used as a technique to manage anxiety or intrusive thoughts. The video suggests using immediate environmental stimuli or personal connections as a means of grounding to counteract the effects of intrusive thoughts.

💡Dopamine-producing activities

Dopamine-producing activities are those that naturally stimulate the release of dopamine in the brain, leading to feelings of pleasure and reward. The script encourages finding and engaging in such activities as part of both the offensive and defensive plans to manage intrusive thoughts.

💡Pivot plan kit

A pivot plan kit, as mentioned in the video, is a tool or set of resources designed to help individuals create a plan for managing their thoughts and behaviors. It's part of the defensive strategy to quickly shift focus away from intrusive thoughts and towards healthier alternatives.

Highlights

Dr. Trish Leigh introduces her two best tips for dealing with intrusive porn thoughts.

Intrinsic porn thoughts are a call for healing, not a sexual desire.

The brain's response to stress or boredom can manifest as porn thoughts.

Anxiety, depression, and lack of motivation are linked to hyper-arousal created by porn consumption.

The brain may need a break or stimulation to regulate mood and reduce hyper-arousal.

An offensive plan is suggested to create a life filled with dopamine-producing activities.

A defensive plan involves immediate strategies to handle intrusive thoughts as they occur.

Taking breaks and engaging in enjoyable work aspects can help manage intrusive thoughts.

Maintaining daily social connections is crucial for an open mind and mood regulation.

Repairing and fostering relationships can provide natural dopamine boosts.

Hobbies and interests outside of work can serve as healthy dopamine sources.

Fantasizing about non-sexual, joyful experiences can replace unhealthy thoughts.

Creating a pleasant and dopamine-producing environment can help ground the mind.

Dr. Leigh emphasizes the importance of patience and grace during the rewiring process.

The transition to a dopamine-balanced lifestyle takes time and should be approached with flexibility.

Dr. Leigh offers a 90-day program to help individuals create a pivot plan for mental grounding.

The final message is to control your brain or it will control you, highlighting the importance of mental autonomy.

Transcripts

Porn thoughts. Why they keep intruding in your mind

on your porn, brain rewire journey and how to stop them for ever.

I'm Dr. Trish Leigh.

I'm going to share with you my best two tips in this video.

But first, what we're going to talk about is what's happening in your brain

that makes those porn thoughts fire up

Secondly, what we're going to talk about is what they mean for you.

They are a call for healing and nothing more.

They're not even sexual.

So first, what's going on in that brain?

Secondly, what do they need?

And third, what you can do about it?

My best two tips.

So let's dig in.

Number one, what happens in your brain when you have a porn

thought or an intrusive thought or euphoric recall?

So what it can be is either images

or literally the scenes of what you've been consuming.

Some people have euphoric recall or fantasy

about people that they've been with in the past.

Others have fantasy of people that they want to be with in the future.

But let's say you're working away and you know you're at work

and your brain has a porn thought pop into it.

It is a call for stimulation or calming.

It is a call to de-stress.

Most of the time, or possibly, that you need

a break to bring that hyper arousal down.

Now, if you're a person who's stuck on the couch, you still might have hyper

arousal going on.

But it also is a call for stimulation because you're bored or you lack

motivation that comes from hitting the easy button and going into the screen.

It creates the feelings of anxiety and depression and lack of motivation.

Difficulty thinking We know this, but it creates it,

and then it will call to you to solve it,

keeping you trapped in this cycle forever.

So I want you to know that what is happening in your brain

is likely your brain is going too fast.

So if you've been working for a while and your brain's like, hmm,

and it has this intrusive thought pop in, it is time for a break.

But I want you to know, number two, that that thought is just a call to de-stress.

It's a call to regulate your mood.

And we're going to do it in two ways.

The ways we're going to do it is number one, we're going to set up

an offensive plan, one that's actually going to take us through this journey.

Number two, we're going to set up a defensive plan

and there's two strategies that you can do my best to tips.

And there's two strategies that you can use

in the very moment that that thought pops in.

OK, so we go back to your at work and this thought pops into your mind.

Your offensive plan is that ahead of time,

you are going to set up your life so that it's dopamine producing.

And the caveat here is that's going to take a little time,

because if you've trained your brain like a puppy just to go back into the screen

and hit the easy button and get the dopamine flood, it

takes a little while to train your brain that now

it goes to work, it goes to relationships, it goes to hobbies.

It balances itself across your day with lower levels of dopamine.

Instead of going into a day that stresses you out

and then you take the edge off with porn.

Now your day is going to fill you with enjoyment,

but that transition and that transformation takes a little bit of time.

So you have to have patience and grace with yourself during that time frame.

But so in the meantime, you're working away and the thought comes in.

The offensive plan is you take breaks throughout your day

and you do the things that I've been teaching you to do.

You do the aspects of your work that you like, and you can

especially do them later in the day and get through the grind early.

Then you make sure you have connection in your life

daily, even if it's texting an accountability partner.

If it's chatting with friends, if it's touching base

with your parents, connect with other people and connect with many people.

That is the way that you get open mind from relationships.

Repair your relationship with your honey if it's on the rocks.

Because of this situation, if you don't have a honey, go to places

where you might meet a like minded person that you could attract with your energy.

That's how you get dopamine

from relationships and of course, get out there and do your hobbies.

That is the offensive plan, but I want you to know about it in this way.

Flexible schedule your life so that it's getting dopamine

across your days and across your life.

That's how you can ward those thoughts off, because now you'll

start thinking about the basketball game you have on Saturday.

You'll start thinking about dinner with friends you have on Thursday, you'll

start thinking about the cool work project that you can't wait to get started on.

And when you have those new thoughts, you're going to push out

those old thoughts that call for de-stressing.

So often man offense wins the game. Remember that?

OK, so what is your defensive plan?

The thought pops in and you're working.

Your defensive plan is to not grab that thought.

Do not grab that thought. You run away.

You do not walk away from that thought.

You're going to replace it.

So the first way that you can replace an unhealthy fantasy

thought is to replace it with a healthy fantasy thought.

So here's the idea.

A sexual thought pops into your mind and it starts the dopamine flowing.

And you might feel it physically.

You need to stop that thought and swap it out for a healthy thought.

That, of course, is going to produce less dopamine in the short run.

But in the long run, you need to train your brain, your little puppy.

You need to train that brain that when it's stressed, it's going

to get lower levels of dopamine and it's going to have to work for it a little bit.

And the way that it works is think about your favorite vacation ever.

Think about something funny that happened to yesterday.

Think about your favorite person.

Swap out the fantasy thoughts.

I'm literally cracking up in my mind right now, and I know this isn't funny

because you know how stories are in the retell.

We have had this pile that needs to be donated of stuff

that my husband cleaned out because he's making himself a man cave.

So it's ridiculous.

I should put a picture of it on my Instagram account.

It is a pile of stuff.

And so then he just put one of those blue moving blankets over it.

It's in the garage.

And when you pass our house, you can see in our garage

from this kind of main street in our neighborhood.

He put this blue moving blanket on top of it.

And there's these two masks that actually we got on our honeymoon.

They're from somewhere like in the Caribbean.

They're cool, actually, but they're getting old.

These two masks sitting on top of them, which it's literally

like a junk pile covered in a blanket that's decorated.

It's so ridiculous.

So he's talking about the file today, and I come back in

from taking the kids to school

and they have masks in the pile as masks on it. It's so tidy.

My husband's very tidy,

but the fact that we are donated this pile, I know it's not funny to you,

but literally it's very dopamine producing to me.

It cracks me up, and that's something that happened this morning.

And that's the thing that happened to me this morning.

They'll be a thing that happens to me

this afternoon, and they'll be a thing that happens to me tonight

because I look for those funny moments in my days and I get them.

That's what I want you to do.

Swap out that thought and swap it in for something that produces dopamine.

And I hope you can find the joy in a pile of crap that needs to be donated.

I hope you can find that because that's the spice of life.

And when you do that across your days, I'm telling you life changes.

You don't need to go into the easy button.

It's all there for the taking in the world.

Set up the offensive plan of a life that brings you joy.

Now, of course, my life is a little grueling too,

because that was on my way back from school after

I got five kids ready to go to school breakfast, lunch PSAT.

Today, I had to find a graphing calculator,

which literally we own three of them, and it took me an hour to find one.

Actually, Decland had to loan Fiona hers because I never found another one,

but I could still find the joy in all of that.

That's what I want for you.

OK, so that's the that is the defensive plan.

But going back to your offensive plan, connect your real life,

but you can connect it in fantasy, swap the fantasy out.

Now secondarily, and this one's actually better

pull your head, pull your mind,

pull your brain back out of fantasy

and ground it in the real world.

Have something in your immediate environment that's dopamine producing.

So put a picture of your honey right there if he or she brings you joy.

Put a picture of your favorite beach

that you like to go to or your favorite Mountain View.

Put pictures here or set up your environment so that you love it.

I love my office.

It's so peaceful.

This is literally one of my favorite places to be.

So when I sit here and I bring myself back into my reality,

my reality is very dopamine producing.

It calms me. It makes me feel good.

It makes my brain juice up and want to do 100 hours of work

because I've created an environment that feels that way.

If your environment isn't like that.

Create an environment that you find dopamine producing.

It might be different for you than it is for me.

This is very peaceful, and this is very much my vibe.

So create that in your actual present life.

Pull your head out of fantasy back into your reality where you can get dopamine.

So I want to just reiterate them, and they will wrap up the two ways

that you can keep those thoughts

from intruding in your mind and you can switch them real quick

is either switch the fantasy from sexual to non-sexual, so that becomes

healthy fantasy fantasizing about the vacation you're going to take.

Thinking about the funny thing that happened to you?

Healthy thoughts. Healthy fantasy.

See, that will give you dopamine, you're going to trick your brain into thinking

the dopamine that just got released has to do with this other healthy

fantasy or number two pull your brain out of fantasy .

Pull it back into your

immediate environment and give it something dopamine producing.

And so when people join my program, I have them create a pivot plan

kit with things that do just that.

So if you want in on that,

get into my 90 day program so you can create your own grounding.

Kick back in reality because it's awesome and it works.

OK, so those are the two tips.

What we're doing is we're swapping out that dopamine drip that started.

We're tricking your hijacker into thinking the dopamine is coming

from healthy fantasy or your real life and no longer those thoughts.

That's how they're going away,

and you'll have those new beautiful thoughts of your life replacing it

so that you can crack up about your junk pile.

OK, if you're looking for help on this journey, reach out to me.

I would absolutely love to help you if it feels good.

I have programs that are affordable in different shapes and sizes.

Go over to DrTrishLeigh.com Check it out.

And if it feels good, I'd love to see you.

And until next time, control your brain or it'll control you.