how to write a *detailed* example in ielts writing task 2
Summary
TLDRThis video script offers a valuable tip for transforming abstract examples into detailed ones in writing. It emphasizes the importance of identifying abstract keywords in the text and making them specific through real-life examples. The speaker illustrates this with examples from IELTS essay questions, demonstrating how asking 'what' and 'how' questions can enrich the content with concrete details. The script also introduces the 'example-led paragraph' technique for a more focused and unified paragraph, crucial for achieving higher scores in writing assessments.
Takeaways
- 📝 The video aims to help those struggling with writing concrete, detailed examples by transforming abstract ideas into specific ones.
- 🔑 The key tip is to identify abstract keywords in the sentences already written and then make them more specific with real-life examples.
- 🎯 An example from 'IELTS 14 General Training' is used to illustrate the process of detailing the experience offered by offline stores compared to online shopping.
- 🗣️ Social experiences in offline stores are highlighted as a reason why they won't be replaced by online shopping, using coffee shops like Starbucks as a detailed example.
- ❓ The method of asking 'what' and 'how' questions is suggested to derive the necessary details for an example.
- 🛍️ A comparison is made between the social interaction at Starbucks and the impersonal nature of ordering coffee beans on Amazon to emphasize the point.
- 💡 The importance of having a single main topic in each paragraph for a higher score on writing tests is emphasized.
- 🚑 Another example from 'IELTS 17' discusses the drawbacks of relying on alternative medicines in emergency situations, using the abstract concept of 'tumor' for detail.
- 🛠️ The script suggests that rehabilitation programs teaching valuable skills to prisoners can help prevent re-offending, with coding as a specific example.
- 👨🍳 It's highlighted that the specific skill taught in rehabilitation doesn't have to be coding; any skill can be used as long as it's detailed.
- 🚀 The video introduces the 'example-led paragraph' technique, where an example is used directly to support a topic sentence without an explanation, as demonstrated with the topic of risk-taking.
Q & A
What is the main purpose of the video?
-The main purpose of the video is to teach viewers how to transform abstract examples into detailed and concrete ones when writing.
What is the simple tip shared in the video for writing detailed examples?
-The simple tip is to identify abstract keywords in the sentences you've already written and then make those keywords more specific using real-life examples.
What does the video suggest as a method to make abstract ideas more specific in writing?
-The video suggests asking 'what' questions to make abstract ideas more specific and to come up with concrete details.
Can you provide an example of how to use the tip from the video to write about offline stores offering social experiences?
-The video uses Starbucks as an example, explaining that people meet friends, talk about their lives, and enjoy their drinks there, which are experiences not available online.
How does the video suggest comparing offline stores to online stores in an example?
-The video suggests using details like buying coffee beans on Amazon and the impersonal nature of the transaction to contrast with the social interaction at Starbucks.
What is the importance of having only one main topic in every paragraph according to the video?
-Having only one main topic in every paragraph is important for achieving a high score on the writing test, as it ensures unity and focus in the writing.
What is an 'example-led paragraph' as mentioned in the video?
-An 'example-led paragraph' is a technique where an example is used directly to support the topic sentence without an initial explanation, as taught by IELTS Simon.
How does the video suggest dealing with a lack of knowledge about specific programs or initiatives when writing examples?
-The video suggests that it's not necessary to know specific programs like the Chen Zuckerberg Initiative; instead, one can use their own knowledge and life experience to make the abstract parts of their writing more specific.
What is the video's stance on the use of explanations before providing an example in a paragraph?
-The video suggests that explanations before providing an example are not 100% necessary, and one can directly use an example to support the topic sentence.
How does the video address the concern of some people who find it hard to think of examples?
-The video reassures viewers that as long as they have life experiences, they can come up with examples by using 'what' or 'how' questions to identify details.
What is the final advice given in the video regarding writing detailed examples?
-The final advice is to remember that the goal of writing an example is to back up what has been previously written with details, and to use 'what' or 'how' questions to help come up with those details.
Outlines
📝 Writing Detailed Examples
The first paragraph introduces a common issue in writing where abstract examples are repeated without adding detail. The video aims to provide a simple tip for transforming these abstract examples into detailed ones using real-life scenarios. It uses the example of the impact of online shopping on physical stores, suggesting that offline stores offer social experiences, like meeting friends at Starbucks, which online cannot replicate. The key is to identify abstract keywords and make them specific through 'what' questions, leading to a detailed and unified paragraph.
🤔 The Challenge of Writing Examples
This paragraph discusses the difficulty of writing detailed examples and how to overcome it by using the 'what' and 'how' questions to identify abstract parts of an argument and make them concrete. It presents the topic of alternative medicines and their limitations in emergency situations as a case study. The paragraph emphasizes the importance of life experience in creating relevant examples, such as the Chen Zuckerberg Initiative's coding program in prisons, to illustrate rehabilitation efforts that can prevent ex-prisoners from reoffending.
🚀 Example-Led Paragraphs
The final paragraph introduces the concept of an 'example-led paragraph', a technique where an example is used directly to support a topic sentence without an explanation. It demonstrates this method using the advantages of taking risks, with examples of quitting a job or ending a relationship that may cause short-term pain but lead to long-term gain. The paragraph concludes by encouraging the use of detailed examples to unify the paragraph around a single topic, which is crucial for achieving high scores in writing assessments.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Abstract Example
💡Concrete Example
💡IELTS
💡Topic Sentence
💡Socialization
💡Non-conventional Medical Treatments
💡Rehabilitation Programs
💡Risk-Taking
💡Example-Led Paragraph
💡Writing Test
💡Culinary Skills
Highlights
The video provides a simple tip for transforming abstract examples into detailed ones without creating new content.
Identify abstract keywords in your written sentences and make them specific with real-life examples.
Offline stores offer social experiences that online stores cannot, such as socializing in places like Starbucks.
Use 'what' questions to make abstract ideas more concrete and detailed in examples.
Details such as meeting friends, talking about life, and enjoying drinks at Starbucks exemplify the social aspect of offline stores.
Comparing offline and online stores with detailed examples, such as buying coffee beans on Amazon, helps illustrate the lack of social interaction.
The importance of having only one main topic in each paragraph for a higher score on writing tests.
Writing detailed examples by asking 'what' or 'how' questions based on abstract parts of the explanation.
The video demonstrates using detailed examples to support the negative impact of alternative medicines in emergency situations.
Non-conventional treatments may delay necessary actions like immediate surgery for tumors, leading to missed opportunities for cure.
The example of the Chen Zuckerberg Initiative teaching coding skills in prisons to help ex-prisoners find jobs.
Using one's own knowledge and life experience to create relatable examples, such as teaching culinary skills in prisons.
The format of starting with a topic sentence, providing explanations, and then supporting with an example can be simplified.
The technique of writing an example-led paragraph by directly using an example to support the topic sentence, skipping the explanation.
Examples like quitting a job you hate or ending an unhealthy relationship illustrate the short-term hurt of making a risky move.
The advantage of taking risks is exemplified by adults who stop relying on their parents' financial support to pursue their dreams.
The video concludes by emphasizing the goal of using details to back up previously written content and maintaining paragraph unity.
Transcripts
Hello, friends. If you have trouble writing concrete, detailed examples,
this video is definitely for you. When writing an example, you may find
yourself just repeating what you’ve just written instead of using details to support your idea.
In today's video, I'm gonna share with you guys one simple tip for transforming your
abstract example into a detailed one. So, the tip I am talking about is that
in your example, you don’t create anything new. You simply identify the abstract keywords
in the sentences you’ve already written, and then make those abstract keywords more
specific using real-life examples. Let’s look at this question
in ielts 14 general training. By the way, general training task
2 questions may appear in academic tests. The growth of online shopping will one day
lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree?
So, my opinion is that I disagree that all offline stores will close their doors one day.
And my first reason is that offline stores offer customers experiences that are unavailable online.
Now, before we give an example, we can first explain this topic sentence a little bit.
What kind of experience can offline stores offer that online stores cannot?
Offline stores can offer us social experiences, don’t they?
This is because these stores are more than just places to shop;
they are also where people socialize. Now, we really need a detailed example.
Otherwise, this paragraph will be too short and abstract.
Guys, I'm not saying it's easy to write a detailed example,
but it's really really not that hard. All you need to do is identify the
abstract keywords in the sentences that you’ve already written.
and then make those abstract keywords specific by asking yourself “what” questions.
So, offline stores, what offline stores exactly? Speaking of socialization, I immediately think of
coffee shops like Starbucks. Places to shop.
What do people buy at a Starbucks store? They buy coffee and drinks, don’t they?
Socialize: How do they socialize? They talk, they chat with each other.
Sometimes, I ask myself “how” questions, But most of the time, I find that asking “what”
questions is the best way to come up with details. We can also make this part more specific.
What do they talk about? All sorts of things.
They may meet there and talk about work stuff, or catch up on life.
But since the example should be about socialization, “catching
up on life” would be better. Now, we have three details.
Let’s write our example. For instance, at Starbucks,
people meet friends and talk about their lives while enjoying their drinks.
Look how detailed this example is. And don’t forget that, in our example,
we can compare offline stores to online stores as we did in the topic sentence.
When writing about online stores, it doesn’t matter
whether you use Amazon or eBay as an example. The important thing is that your Amazon or eBay
example needs to contain details. How can we come up with details?
We identify the abstract parts and then ask ourselves “what” questions.
So, we buy coffee and drinks at Starbucks. What do we buy on Amazon?
We buy coffee beans on Amazon. Placing a coffee bean order through an impersonal
Internet store, such as Amazon, will never allow this level of satisfying social interaction.
Just like the Starbucks example, this Amazon example is also full of details.
Now, let’s end the paragraph with a conclusion sentence.
This means that there will always be a place for retailers who offer socialization.
As you can see, the key to writing a detailed example
is to include details like “meeting friends”,
talking about their lives”, “enjoying their drinks”, and “placing a coffee bean order”.
How can we come up with details like these? Well, we identify the abstract ideas we've already
written and then make them specific by asking ourselves what-questions or “how” questions.
By doing so, you will not only have a detailed example, but also your entire paragraph will
have only one main topic, since you are not writing new ideas. You are simply using details
to support what you’ve just written. And having only one main topic in every
paragraph is so important for getting a 7 or higher on the writing test.
That’s it for this paragraph. You can read the full essay on my site ieltsessaybank.com
The link will be in the description down below. Now, let me give you another example.
This essay question is from IELTS 17. Let’s read the question first.
Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and
treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or
a negative development? This is a tough question.
Let’s see how using detailed examples to support what we’ve already written
can make the writing process easier. So, my opinion is that the increasing
popularity of alternative medicines and treatments is a negative development,
and one of my reasons is that non-conventional medical treatments
would not be as useful in emergency situations. “Non-conventional medical treatments” is a synonym
for “alternative medicines and treatments.” Let’s first expand this topic
sentence using reasons.
They take time to work, whereas conventional treatments
are developed to take effect fast. So, they take time to work.
Why is this a bad thing? It’s a bad thing because
If people with conditions or symptoms that need to be relieved right away opt
for alternative therapies, they might miss the window of opportunity to cure their diseases.
Now, in order to come up with an example full of details,
we need to first identify the abstract parts of this explanation.
People with conditions or symptoms that need to be relieved right away.
Remember how we can make it concrete? We can make it concrete by asking
ourselves “what” questions. What condition exactly?
I don’t know many medical terms but at least I know “tumor” and “cancer”.
need to be relieved right away. What treatment might tumor
patients need right away? They may require immediate
surgery to remove their tumor. Consider patients who require
tumor removal as soon as possible. This part is also quite abstract.
A window of opportunity is a period of time during which some action can
be taken that will achieve a desired outcome. So, what opportunity specifically might they lose?
They might lose the opportunity to remove the tumor when it can still be removed.
If they delay surgery in the hopes that a non-mainstream treatment would work,
the tumor might grow and spread to other parts of their bodies.
This paragraph is done. Hopefully, by now,
writing examples has become easier for you. Remember all you need to do is identify the
abstract parts of what you’ve already written, and then use concrete details to support them.
How can we come up with details? We come up with details by asking
ourselves “what” questions or “how” questions. Some people are like, oh, this is so hard,
I can’t think of any example. Let me tell you, as long as you have life
experience, which is something you obviously have, then you can come up with examples.
Let me show you. Let’s look at this question.
Some ex-prisoners commit crimes after being released from prison. What do you
think is the cause? How can it be solved? So, this paragraph answers the second
question of how we can solve the problem of ex-prisoners committing crimes after
they are released from prison. let’s look at this example.
For example, the Chen Zuckerberg Initiative launched a program in some American prisons
that teaches prisoners how to code, and some of them even went on to work for
technology companies after their release. Some people are like, oh, I don’t know
the Chen Zuckerberg Initiative. I can’t write examples like this.
You don’t need to know the Chen Zuckerberg Initiative.
All you need to do is make what you’ve already written more specific.
So, here we have: There should be rehabilitation programs
in place to teach inmates valuable skills that will help them find a job and become productive
members of society after incarceration. In the example, I used “how to
code” to support “valuable skills”, and used “work for technology companies”
to support “productive members of society.” All it matters are details like these.
Whether we mention the Chen Zuckerberg Initiative is not important at all.
We could simply say that for example some prisons teach prisoners how to code,
and some of these people have gone on to work for technology companies after they are released.
You are definitely capable of writing examples like this one
using your own knowledge and life experience. It doesn’t necessarily have to be coding skills.
You could use “culinary skills” or any other skill that you feel comfortable writing about.
If we use culinary skills, we can say that some prisons teach prisoners culinary skills
and some of these people have gone on to work for 5-star hotels after their release.
Alright, so far, the format we've used is to start with a topic sentence,
then provide explanations, and then support what we’ve written with an example.
But do you find that sometimes it’s so hard to explain your topic sentence?
Don’t worry.
The explanation part is actually not 100% necessary.
You can actually directly use an example to support your topic sentence.
I learned this technique from IELTS Simon. He calls it an example-led paragraph.
Now, I’m going to show you how to write an example-led paragraph using
this question in IELTS 17. Let’s read the question.
It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their
personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?
So, my opinion is that I think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages.
in Body Paragraph 1, I’m going to discuss one of the advantages.
Here’s my topic sentence: Making a risky move may hurt a person short term.
But why may making a risky move hurt a person short term?
I really can’t explain. It’s not a big deal. I’ll skip the explanation part and directly
provide an example. The method is the same.
I will simply make abstract parts concrete by asking myself “what” questions.
What kind of risky move exactly? This is so easy.
It could be quitting the job you hate, or ending an unhealthy relationship.
Hurt a person short term. Let’s make it concrete.
How can quitting the job you hate hurt you short term?
You may lose the income needed to sustain your current expensive lifestyle.
How may end an unhealthy relationship hurt you short term?
You may lose the financial support that your partner provides.
You may have to find a new place to live and cover expenses like rent,
utilities, and groceries on your own. Developing this topic sentence suddenly
becomes so easily if we directly write an example without giving an explanation.
Here’s my example. Take, for example,
adults who are psychologically controlled by their parents because they still receive
financial support from them. If they stop relying on their parents so that they can be free to go
after their dreams, they may face the short-term downside of losing the comfort their parents'
money provides. The same can be true of making a career change that involves a big pay cut.
This is the risk they take, and this is the short-term loss they may face.
This is an example full of details. This paragraph is not finished,
but I’m gonna stop here. You can read the full essay on my site.
The link will be in the description down below. I know a lot of you guys have trouble developing
your paragraphs. I hope this video has made that easier for you.
Remember that the goal of writing an example is not to create something new.
The goal is to use details to back up what we've previously written and we can ask ourselves "what"
or "how" questions to help us come up with details. In this way, not only will our example be concrete
and specific, but our entire paragraph will be unified into one single topic.
And don’t forget that if you have trouble using reasons to support your topic sentence,
you can skip the explanation and directly give an example.
That’s it for today. If you learned something useful,
please consider subscribing so that you won’t miss new videos like this.
Thanks for watching. See you soon.
Browse More Related Video
Analytical Writing in 3 Simple Steps
Beware of nominalizations (AKA zombie nouns) - Helen Sword
How to Write Complex Sentences for IELTS Band 7 - The World's Largest FREE IELTS Course!
How to Use Examples Correctly in IELTS Writing Task 2
Essay Writing Skills | Part-1 | By Dr. Muhammad Rafi Mujahid | SILAH | Jauharabad | Khushab
AICE History Paper 1 a
5.0 / 5 (0 votes)