The psychology of communicating effectively in a digital world | Helen Morris-Brown | TEDxSquareMile

Summary

This engaging talk explores the nuances of communication, particularly in the digital age, where nonverbal cues are absent. The speaker highlights how our brains are wired for face-to-face interactions and how digital communication often leads to misunderstandings. By managing expectations, offering genuine compliments, and treating digital conversations with the same respect as in-person ones, we can create more meaningful connections. The talk emphasizes the importance of predictability in interactions, ensuring that we do what we say we will, thereby fostering trust and positive associations.

Takeaways

• 😀 Humans are hard-wired to connect with others, and our most successful interactions happen face-to-face.
• 🧐 Nonverbal communication plays a crucial role in how we connect with others, which is often lost in digital communication.
• 🤔 Digital communication is a risk management exercise, and it's important to be mindful of how quickly we respond to avoid misunderstandings.
• 😬 Miscommunication is more frequent in digital formats because we perceive less risk and engage our filters less often.
• 🤷‍♂️ We are all novices in digital communication, and mistakes are common, so learning from them is essential.
• 👀 Matching expectations in communication is crucial, as mismatches can cause discomfort and stress.
• 💬 To connect effectively, treat digital communication as you would a face-to-face conversation: be clear, respectful, and prompt.
• 😊 Giving genuine compliments can create positive associations and strengthen connections.
• 📅 Managing expectations by doing what you say you'll do builds trust and smooth interactions.
• 👍 Using appropriate emojis can help convey tone and emotion, especially in apologies and informal interactions.

Q & A

What is the main point the speaker makes about human connection within the first few seconds of the video?

The speaker emphasizes that human connection happens almost instantly, and within just five seconds, people unconsciously start judging and processing sensory information to determine if someone is worthy of their attention.

Why does the speaker mention that nonverbal communication is essential in face-to-face interactions?

The speaker highlights that nonverbal communication plays a crucial role in connecting with others because it provides additional information that helps in assessing and responding to people more effectively.

What challenge does the speaker identify when communicating through digital media?

The speaker points out that digital communication lacks the richness of nonverbal cues, making it harder to connect effectively and increasing the risk of misunderstandings.

How does the speaker compare the safety of digital communication to other scenarios?

The speaker compares digital communication to shouting at other road users from the safety of a car or yelling at people in the street, noting that the perceived distance reduces the threat and makes people more likely to act impulsively.

What does the speaker suggest as a way to improve digital communication and reduce misunderstandings?

The speaker suggests that managing expectations and taking the time to think through responses can help control the risk of mistakes in digital communication, thus improving interactions.

Why does the speaker discuss the importance of matching expectations in communication?

The speaker explains that matching expectations is key to building trust and maintaining successful relationships because unmet expectations cause discomfort and can damage connections.

What is the significance of the Rubik's Cube example in the context of communication?

The Rubik's Cube example illustrates how surprising someone or mismatching their expectations can cause their brain to work harder, leading to discomfort and affecting their perception of the interaction.

How does the speaker connect the science of behavior with digital communication?

The speaker relates behavioral science to digital communication by explaining how our brain's reward system influences our feelings of satisfaction or discomfort in interactions, both online and offline.

What advice does the speaker give for improving communication in a digital world?

The speaker advises matching expectations, being sincere with compliments, and treating text-based communication as if it were face-to-face by being prompt, polite, and thoughtful in responses.

How does the speaker suggest handling mistakes in digital communication?

The speaker suggests acknowledging mistakes quickly and sincerely, possibly using emojis to soften the apology, especially when communicating with younger people.