Verbal and Nonverbal Communication

Summary

In this video, host Alex and guest Mary Daphne explore the intricacies of verbal and nonverbal communication. They discuss the complementary nature of these communication forms, the cultural nuances of nonverbal cues like emblems and illustrators, and the six ways nonverbal signals can interact with verbal messages, including reinforcing, substituting, turn-taking, complementing, emphasizing, and contradicting. The conversation also delves into nonverbal leakage and microexpressions, providing insights into how our body language can inadvertently reveal our true feelings.

Takeaways

• 🗣️ Verbal and nonverbal communication are experienced simultaneously and complement each other in expressing and receiving messages.
• 💬 Verbal communication is defined by the words and utterances we use, while nonverbal includes gestures, facial expressions, and vocal qualities like tone and pace.
• 🌐 Nonverbal cues, such as emblems, have specific meanings within a culture but can vary significantly across different societies.
• 🤔 The interpretation of nonverbal cues is not as straightforward as some might believe; cultural context plays a crucial role in understanding their meaning.
• 📚 Mary Daphne's YouTube channel focuses on helping millennials improve social skills in areas like relationships, productivity, and mental wellness.
• 🤸‍♂️ Illustrators are nonverbal cues used subconsciously to emphasize or add detail to what is being said, and they are not tied to a specific culture.
• 🔄 Nonverbal and verbal communication interact in six ways: repeating, substituting, turn-taking, complementing, emphasizing, and contradicting.
• 👍 Repeating involves reinforcing a verbal message with a nonverbal gesture, such as giving a thumbs up while saying 'Nice job'.
• 🤝 Substituting uses nonverbal cues in place of words, like a high-five instead of verbal congratulations.
• 🔄 Turn-taking in conversations can be signaled through nonverbal cues, such as leaning in to indicate someone else's opportunity to speak.
• 📊 Complementing enhances verbal messages with nonverbal cues, like using an upward gesture to indicate growth when discussing team progress.
• ⚠️ Nonverbal leakage occurs when nonverbal cues contradict verbal messages, revealing hidden emotions or intentions.
• 🃏 Microexpressions are brief, universal emotional expressions that can reveal true feelings despite attempts to conceal them.

Q & A

What is the main topic of the video?

The main topic of the video is verbal and nonverbal communication.

Who is the special guest featured in the video?

The special guest in the video is Mary Daphne, a YouTuber who helps millennials improve their social skills.

What are the two main types of communication discussed in the video?

The two main types of communication discussed are verbal communication, which includes words and utterances, and nonverbal communication, which includes gestures, facial expressions, tone of voice, etc.

What is an emblem in nonverbal communication?

An emblem in nonverbal communication is a gesture that has a universal meaning within a specific culture.

Can the meaning of emblems be different across cultures?

Yes, the meaning of emblems can vary significantly from one culture to another, as they are decided by a particular society.

What is the difference between emblems and illustrators?

Emblems are nonverbal cues with a specific cultural meaning, while illustrators are gestures used subconsciously to support or emphasize the words we speak, and are not tied to a specific culture.

How do verbal and nonverbal communications interact in real life?

Verbal and nonverbal communications interact in six ways: repeating, substituting, turn-taking, complementing, emphasizing, and contradicting.

What is nonverbal leakage?

Nonverbal leakage occurs when a person's nonverbal cues, such as body language and tone of voice, reveal their true feelings or intentions, contradicting their spoken words.

What is the significance of microexpressions in nonverbal communication?

Microexpressions are brief facial expressions that reveal a person's true emotions, and they are significant because they can provide clues to a person's concealed feelings, even if they are trying to hide them.

What advice does Mary Daphne give for understanding nonverbal communication across cultures?

Mary Daphne advises being mindful that nonverbal cues, especially emblems, are linked to their cultural context and can have different meanings in different cultures.

How can nonverbal communication be used to emphasize a point in a speech or presentation?

Nonverbal communication can be used to emphasize a point by using strong gestures, changing the tone of voice, volume, inflection patterns, pitch, or adding dramatic pauses.

Outlines

00:00

🗣️ Introduction to Verbal and Nonverbal Communication

The video script begins with an introduction to the topic of verbal and nonverbal communication, featuring a special guest, Mary Daphne, who is a YouTuber focusing on social skills, relationship, productivity, and mental wellness. The video aims to explore how verbal and nonverbal cues complement each other in communication. Verbal communication is defined as the use of words and utterances, while nonverbal communication encompasses gestures, facial expressions, tone of voice, and other non-linguistic cues. The script challenges the idea that nonverbal cues have universal meanings, inviting Mary to discuss the nuances of nonverbal gestures, including emblems with universal meanings within a culture and illustrators that are unique to individuals and situations.

05:03

🌐 Cultural Impact on Nonverbal Gestures

This paragraph delves into the cultural aspects of nonverbal communication, highlighting the concept of emblems, which are nonverbal cues with agreed-upon meanings within a specific culture. Mary Daphne shares an anecdote from her teaching experience in Istanbul, emphasizing the importance of cultural context in interpreting gestures, as the same emblem can have different meanings in different cultures. The paragraph also explains illustrators, which are nonverbal cues used subconsciously to support verbal communication, and how they can vary based on the individual, timing, and situation. The discussion includes the natural use of illustrators even when no one is present to see them, such as during phone conversations.

10:05

🤝 Interactions of Verbal and Nonverbal Communication

The script outlines six ways in which verbal and nonverbal communication interact: repeating, where nonverbal cues reinforce verbal messages; substituting, where gestures replace words; turn-taking, which uses nonverbal cues to manage conversation flow; complementing, where nonverbal cues enhance verbal messages; emphasizing, which involves using gestures and paralinguistics to stress a point; and contradicting, where nonverbal cues conflict with verbal messages, leading to potential misunderstandings. The paragraph also touches on the concept of 'tells' in poker and 'nonverbal leakage' in communication, where concealed emotions can inadvertently be revealed through nonverbal cues, including microexpressions that are universal across cultures.

🏔️ Real-Life Example of Nonverbal Leakage

In the final paragraph, Mary Daphne shares a personal story about a skiing adventure with her husband, providing a real-life example of nonverbal leakage. Despite verbally agreeing to a challenging backcountry trip, her physical reactions such as trembling hands, heavy sweating, and furrowed eyebrows betrayed her true feelings of fear and anxiety. This anecdote illustrates how nonverbal cues can reveal our internal state, even when we attempt to hide it through our words. The story concludes with a humorous reflection on the incident and a reminder to the viewers to check out Mary's channel for more insights on communication.

Keywords

💡Verbal Communication

Verbal communication refers to the use of words and other utterances to express oneself. It is a fundamental aspect of human interaction and is central to the video's theme, which explores how verbal and nonverbal cues work together to convey messages. In the script, verbal communication is defined as the words we use, and it is contrasted with nonverbal communication to highlight the different ways we express ourselves.

💡Nonverbal Communication

Nonverbal communication encompasses all the aspects of communication that do not involve words, such as facial expressions, gestures, tone of voice, and body language. It is a key focus of the video, which discusses how nonverbal cues complement, substitute, or even contradict verbal messages. The script provides examples like the thumbs up gesture in American culture and the use of illustrators to emphasize the role of nonverbal communication in expressing emotions and intentions.

💡Emblems

Emblems are nonverbal cues that have a specific and universal meaning within a particular culture. They are an important part of the discussion on nonverbal communication in the video. The script mentions that emblems, such as the thumbs up for approval or circling an index finger by the ear to indicate craziness, are culturally determined and can have different meanings in different societies.

💡Illustrators

Illustrators are nonverbal gestures that are used subconsciously to support and clarify the verbal message being conveyed. They are unique to the individual, situation, and timing, and are not tied to a specific culture. In the script, Mary Daphne explains that illustrators help paint a picture with our words, such as using big sweeping gestures to express excitement when saying 'It's so great to see you.'

💡Cultural Context

Cultural context is the background of shared beliefs, practices, and behaviors that influence the interpretation of gestures and other nonverbal cues. The video emphasizes the importance of cultural context in understanding emblems, as the meaning of a gesture can vary significantly from one culture to another. The script provides the example of the thumbs up gesture being offensive to Middle Eastern exchange students in Turkey.

💡Turn-Taking

Turn-taking is a nonverbal communication strategy used in conversations to indicate when someone would like to speak or has finished speaking. It is one of the ways that nonverbal and verbal communication interact, as discussed in the video. The script describes how one might use a gesture to signal to another person, like Jimmy, that they have the opportunity to speak in a group conversation.

💡Complementing

Complementing is a way that nonverbal communication can enhance a verbal message. It involves using gestures or other nonverbal cues to support and clarify what is being said. In the script, the concept is illustrated with the example of gesturing an upward chart to complement a verbal report of a team's progress, thereby emphasizing the point of growth.

💡Emphasizing

Emphasizing is the use of nonverbal communication to strengthen or highlight a verbal message. It can involve gestures, tone of voice, volume, inflection, and pacing. The video script mentions that emphasizing can be particularly important in speeches, presentations, or pitches, where strong gestures or dramatic pauses can add impact to the spoken words.

💡Contradicting

Contradicting occurs when nonverbal cues conflict with the spoken words, creating a mixed message. This concept is explored in the video as an interesting aspect of how nonverbals can sometimes reveal true feelings or intentions that are not aligned with the verbal message. The script gives examples such as smiling while claiming to be in pain, which can appear sarcastic or insincere.

💡Nonverbal Leakage

Nonverbal leakage refers to the involuntary leakage of true emotions or intentions through nonverbal cues when someone is trying to conceal them. It is a significant concept in the video, which discusses how nonverbal cues can reveal hidden feelings, even when verbal communication suggests otherwise. The script explains that nonverbal leakage can include tone of voice, body gestures, and microexpressions, which are brief facial expressions that can indicate underlying emotions.

💡Microexpressions

Microexpressions are fleeting facial expressions that reveal a person's true emotions, often occurring too quickly to be consciously perceived. They are relevant to the concept of nonverbal leakage discussed in the video. The script describes microexpressions as universal indicators of emotions such as happiness, surprise, fear, anger, sadness, disgust, and contempt, which can provide insight into a person's feelings despite their verbal statements.

Highlights

Introduction of Mary Daphne, a YouTuber who helps millennials boost social skills with a focus on relationships, productivity, and mental wellness.

Mary Daphne's channel link is provided in the video description for viewers to subscribe and support.

The video's main point is the simultaneous observation of verbal and nonverbal communication and their complementarity.

Definition of verbal communication as words and utterances used for self-expression.

Definition of nonverbal communication as all communication beyond words, including appearance, gestures, facial expressions, tone of voice, pacing, and pauses.

Discussion on whether nonverbal cues have specific meanings and the introduction of the concept of emblems and illustrators.

Explanation of emblems as nonverbal cues with universal meanings within specific cultures, with examples.

Cultural differences in the interpretation of emblems and an anecdote from teaching in Istanbul, Turkey.

Description of illustrators as subconscious gestures that complement verbal communication, unique to the individual, timing, and situation.

Examples of how illustrators can vary based on context, such as excitement versus nervousness in a meeting.

The six ways nonverbal and verbal communication interact, including repeating, substituting, turn-taking, complementing, emphasizing, and contradicting.

Details on how nonverbal behaviors can reinforce, substitute for, or signal turn-taking in verbal communication.

How nonverbal communication can complement, emphasize, or contradict verbal messages, with examples provided.

Introduction of the term 'tell' from poker and 'nonverbal leakage' from researchers to describe nonverbal cues that contradict verbal communication.

Explanation of nonverbal leakage as a sign of concealed emotions and its prevalence in studies on deception.

Discussion on microexpressions as brief, universal emotional expressions that can reveal true feelings despite verbal statements.

A personal anecdote illustrating nonverbal leakage during a skiing adventure, highlighting the power of subconscious nonverbal cues.

Invitation for viewers to follow Mary Daphne's channel and engage with her through the pinned comment.

Transcripts

- This week we're gonna be talking about

verbal and nonverbal communication.

And we have a special guest with us,

my YouTube friend Mary Daphne.

And she is going to be helping us out.

So let's get into it.

(upbeat music)

I'd like to introduce you to my friend Mary Daphne.

She has her own YouTube channel.

Hey, Alex.

Thanks for having me on your channel.

I am so excited to be here.

Mary Daphne's channel helps millennials

boost your social skills with a focus on relationship,

productivity, and mental wellness.

And at any point you can find the link

to her channel in the description below this video.

So please take a look, Subscribe,

and show her some support.

The main point of this video is that we observe

verbal and nonverbal communication at the same moment.

We don't usually separate these when we express ourselves,

and we don't usually separate them

when we are listening to somebody else communicate.

We experience them all at the same moment.

So, both of these complement each other.

A basic definition of verbal communication

is the words and other utterances

we use to express ourself.

Not surprising.

Nonverbal communication is all of the rest.

It's how you look, like your gestures and your face,

and also how you sound,

like your tone of voice, pacing, and pauses.

So, clearly verbal communication has specific meaning.

And some people think

that nonverbal communication works the same way.

Some people claim that they can literally read

your nonverbals as if they know the secret code.

But is that really the case?

That's what we're gonna talk about.

Let's ask Mary Daphne what she thinks.

Do nonverbal cues, like gestures,

have specific meanings or not?

- You know, Alex, that's a very interesting question.

One way we can think about nonverbal gestures

is in emblems and illustrators.

Emblems are the nonverbal cues

that have a universal meaning within a specific culture.

For example, if we're talking about American culture,

when we give a thumbs up, we know that means good job.

Or, circling our index finger next to our ear means

that person is totally crazy.

A really cool thing to note, however,

is that emblems are decided by a particular society.

This means that in one culture

a gesture could be very different

from what it denotes in another culture.

I remember when I was teaching a communication class

in Istanbul, Turkey and there were some

Middle Eastern exchange students

who were offended by the thumbs up gesture because it means

something derogatory in their cultural context.

So, we have to be mindful

that while emblems can have agreed upon meanings,

they're inextricably linked to their cultural context.

And so, the meaning can vary significantly

from culture to culture.

Now, illustrators are interesting because unlike emblems

we use these automatically and subconsciously

to illuminate the words we're speaking.

It helps us paint a picture that our words are expressing.

They're not explicitly taught to us or tied to a culture.

They're often unique to the person, timing, and situation.

Let's say someone's excited to see their friend.

In addition to saying, "It's so great to see you,"

they use big sweeping gestures with their arms.

These gestures signal joy and excitement.

On the flip side, if you're in a high-stakes meeting

and are super nervous, you're probably going to be

more reserved with your illustrators,

possibly using stiff or jerky movements.

And if you think about it, we still use these nonverbals

even if no one's there to see them,

such as when we're on the phone.

They're deeply rooted in our communicative behavior.

You know what's funny, Alex?

When I'm editing my YouTube lessons,

I don't even realize that I'm using illustrators

because they just flow naturally.

- Yeah, that's a good point.

And I'm sure most people would likely agree.

They don't usually think about the exact gestures they use.

And by the way, I will link to all of the sources

that we are talking about in the description

below this video, so you can take a look at those.

So, in addition to emblems and illustrators,

could you give us more detail

about how verbal and nonverbal communication overlap?

How do these work together?

- There are six different ways that nonverbal

and verbal communication interact in real life.

So, the first one is repeating.

You can think of this one as the nonverbal behavior

reinforcing the verbal message.

In other words, you're repeating your message

because you are essentially saying the same thing.

For example, saying, "Nice job,"

while giving a thumbs up achieves this.

Or, you might say, "Don't interrupt me,"

while putting your hand out as repetition.

The second one, substituting.

So, with substituting you're using a gesture

or some other form of nonverbal communication

in place of a word.

For instance, you might give a high-five instead of saying,

"Wow, that's awesome, congratulations."

Number three, turn-taking.

This one is about relying on nonverbal communication

to signal turn-taking.

Let's imagine you're in a group conversation

and you notice that Jimmy hasn't gotten a chance

to say anything yet.

Noticing that you might lean in

and do an outwardly gesture facing Jimmy

to signal that maybe they would like to say something.

Number four, complementing the verbal message.

So with complementing, you can think of enhancing

your verbal message with nonverbal communication.

You can use complementing to drive home a point,

or to clarify a message.

For example, if you're giving your manager

a rundown of your team's epic progress this quarter,

you might gesture an upward chart signaling growth.

Number five, emphasizing.

If I'm looking to really emphasize my point,

I might use a strong gesture.

But, I could also leverage paralinguistics,

which includes tone of voice, volume,

inflection patterns, and pitch.

Or, I might change my word pacing,

or add some dramatic pause for that extra oomph.

These are a few examples of ways

to truly accentuate your verbal message,

especially in the context of a speech,

presentation, meeting, or a pitch.

And the last one, number six, contradicting.

This one is pretty interesting.

This occurs when your nonverbals

contradict your spoken words.

So, for instance, let's imagine a friend

tells you they are in so much pain but they're smiling.

These are contradictory, right?

Or, imagine that a friend tells you

that they had so much fun hangin' out,

but they have a deadpan look on their face.

It almost seems sarcastic, right?

Well, even if they're not being sarcastic,

it sticks out like a sore thumb because what they're saying

does not match how they are saying it.

- That's a really helpful lesson.

On the last point, contradiction,

there is a related term for this

when our nonverbal communication doesn't match up

with our verbal communication.

In a poker game they call this a "tell"

to see if you're bluffing.

Researchers call this nonverbal leakage.

And even if you say how you feel with your words,

other feelings can leak out through your nonverbals.

So can you tell us a little bit more about this?

- I love the terminology for this concept

because it is such a visceral image.

We can think of nonverbal leakage

as our gestures blowing our cover, so to speak,

when we're attempting to conceal something.

For example, if we verbally express one thing

but our body language, facial expressions,

and tone of voice are screaming something else entirely,

our nonverbals are leaking into our words

and altering our message.

In other words, there's a disconnect

between what we're saying and how we're saying it.

Research shows that in studies on deception,

98% of people expressed nonverbal leakage

when they were trying to hide a charged emotion

like anger, jealousy, depression, or dishonesty.

So, viewers might be wondering, well,

what does nonverbal leakage look like?

Tone of voice is a huge giveaway, and so are body gestures

that misalign with the verbal message.

But, there's also something called microexpressions

where an emotion will flash across the person's face,

but you'll have to pay close attention or you'll miss it,

because these happen as fast

as 1/15th to 1/25th of a second.

The seven microexpressions,

happiness, surprise, fear, anger, sadness,

disgust, and contempt are universal

and exist across most cultures.

Funny story, on a recent skiing adventure,

my husband decided it would be fun for us to go bootpacking,

meaning climbing up the mountain

outside of the ski resort bounds.

I was mortified because not only had I not been skiing

in over 10 years, I had never been backcountry

where I would have to carry my skis up an icy mountain

with all of my heavy gear on.

But you know, I could see

that he was really excited about this,

so I said, "Sure, that's awesome."

But as I said that my hands were trembling,

I was sweating profusely,

and my eyebrows were deeply furrowed.

Major nonverbal leakage, right?

Well, fortunately I had my face mask and goggles on

so he couldn't see any of it.

It wasn't until after we made it down the mountain

that I fessed up about how nervous I was.

Much funnier in retrospect.

- That's a great example about how microexpressions

and nonverbal leakage work,

and how our nonverbal and verbal communication

can sometimes send a mixed message.

So, thank you for helping us out today, Mary Daphne.

It was great to have you on the channel.

- That was a lot of fun.

Thank you so much for having me, Alex.

- So, I encourage you to follow the link

in the description below the video

to take a look at Mary Daphne's channel.

Also, she'll be making a comment

that I will pin to the top of the Comments section.

You can just click on her name

and get to her channel that way, and be sure to say hi.

So, God bless and I will see you all soon.