Emotionally Abusive Narcissists Will Lose Their Minds IF Empaths Do These 10 Things

Tamie M Joyce
6 May 202220:09

Summary

TLDRIn this empowering video, Tamie M Joyce, a life coach specializing in codependency and narcissistic abuse recovery, outlines 10 strategies empaths can use to disempower narcissists. She advises showing awareness of their tactics, remaining non-reactive to provocations, practicing radical honesty, treating narcissists with indifference, and rejecting their influence. Further strategies include exposing their behavior, making unfavorable comparisons, ignoring them, cultivating genuine happiness, and establishing no contact. The video aims to help viewers regain control and peace in their lives.

Takeaways

  • 😑 The video discusses strategies for empaths to deal with narcissists, emphasizing safety and strength.
  • πŸ‘€ It's crucial for empaths to let narcissists know they're aware of their manipulative tactics without directly confronting them.
  • 🚫 Remaining non-reactive to a narcissist's provocations can disrupt their need for emotional intensity and drama.
  • πŸ—£οΈ Radical honesty, speaking the truth bluntly, can unsettle a narcissist who thrives on deception.
  • πŸ€·β€β™‚οΈ Treating a narcissist with indifference can challenge their sense of entitlement and self-importance.
  • 🚫 Rejection is a powerful tool against narcissists who fear abandonment and lack genuine self-esteem.
  • πŸ”¦ Exposure, putting a narcissist's behavior on display, especially in front of others, can be an effective strategy.
  • πŸ“‰ Unfavorable comparisons can undermine a narcissist's fragile self-worth, which is often based on external validation.
  • πŸ™…β€β™‚οΈ Ignoring a narcissist completely can starve them of the attention and emotional energy they crave.
  • 😊 Genuine happiness and peace can be a powerful statement of independence from a narcissist's influence.
  • ⛔️ Establishing and maintaining no contact demonstrates complete detachment and disinterest, a definitive move away from the narcissist.

Q & A

  • What is the main focus of Tamie M Joyce's channel?

    -Tamie M Joyce's channel focuses on empowerment life coaching, specializing in codependency and narcissistic abuse recovery for empaths, scapegoats, and awakening light leaders.

  • What is the intended audience for the strategies discussed in the video?

    -The strategies are intended for individuals who are dealing with average, non-violent, destructive narcissists and are in a safe and strong position to implement them.

  • Why are the strategies not suitable for individuals dealing with high-spectrum narcissists?

    -The strategies are not suitable for those dealing with high-spectrum narcissists because such individuals may become violent and the strategies could put the person at risk.

  • What is the first strategy suggested to cause a narcissist to lose their mind?

    -The first strategy is to let the narcissist know that you're onto them by showing it through your attitude and energy, making it clear that you see through their facade.

  • How can empaths use non-reactivity to affect a narcissist?

    -Empaths can use non-reactivity by refusing to acknowledge the narcissist's attempts to provoke, bait, or get an emotional reaction, thus depriving them of the emotional intensity they feed off.

  • What is the importance of radical honesty when dealing with a narcissist?

    -Radical honesty is important because it disrupts the narcissist's comfort with lies and deception, causing them to feel uncomfortable and threatened by the truth.

  • How does treating a narcissist with indifference affect them?

    -Treating a narcissist with indifference can drive them mad because they are used to being the center of attention and their existence being meaningful to others.

  • What fear do most narcissists have that can be exploited using the strategy of rejection?

    -Most narcissists have a deep fear of rejection and abandonment, which can be exploited by showing them that their opinion and actions have no impact on you.

  • What is the effect of exposure on a destructive narcissist?

    -Exposure can be terrifying for a destructive narcissist because it puts them on the spot in front of others, forcing them to confront their toxic behavior and potentially embarrass themselves.

  • How can unfavorable comparisons be used as a strategy against a narcissist?

    -Unfavorable comparisons can be used by highlighting situations where the narcissist is seen as inferior, which contradicts their view of themselves as superior and can cause them to scramble to maintain their self-image.

  • What is the significance of ignoring a narcissist in terms of their ego?

    -Ignoring a narcissist can cause their ego to take a hit because they are not used to being disregarded and it shows that their attempts at manipulation and control are ineffective.

  • Why is becoming genuinely happy a strategy that can affect a narcissist?

    -Becoming genuinely happy is a strategy that can affect a narcissist because it demonstrates that you are thriving without them, which can cause them to feel irrelevant and lose their mind.

  • What does establishing and maintaining no contact with a narcissist signify?

    -Establishing and maintaining no contact signifies complete detachment and disinterest, depriving the narcissist of any attention or 'narcissistic supply,' which can be very distressing for them.

  • How can the strategies discussed in the video be further explored?

    -The strategies can be further explored by watching Tamie M Joyce's video 'How to Drive Narcissist Crazy' and engaging with her eight-week transformational coaching program 'The Freedom Class'.

  • What resources are available for those interested in working with Tamie M Coaching?

    -Resources include subscribing to the channel, watching the free web class, learning about the eight-week coaching program 'The Freedom Class', and applying for a one-on-one consultation or becoming a client through TamieMCoaching.com.

Outlines

00:00

🧐 Strategies for Empathic Self-Defense Against Narcissists

Tamie M Joyce, an empowerment life coach, introduces strategies for empaths to counteract narcissistic behavior. She cautions that these strategies are for individuals dealing with non-violent, yet emotionally abusive narcissists. The video aims to empower viewers by revealing ways to expose the narcissist's manipulative tactics, remain non-reactive to their provocations, and ultimately cause the narcissist to lose control. The first strategy is to make the narcissist aware that their tactics are recognized, using body language and demeanor to communicate this without direct confrontation.

05:01

😢 Maintaining Non-Reactivity to Disrupt Narcissistic Patterns

The second strategy discussed by Tamie is to remain non-reactive to a narcissist's attempts to provoke an emotional response. This includes not engaging in arguments or defensive reactions to their manipulative behavior. By doing so, the empath deprives the narcissist of the emotional intensity they crave, which can lead to their frustration and confusion. Tamie emphasizes that narcissists feed off emotional reactions and that a lack of such reactions can disrupt their manipulative patterns.

10:01

πŸ—£οΈ The Power of Radical Honesty in Dealing with Narcissists

Tamie introduces the third strategy: radical honesty. She suggests that being brutally honest can be a powerful tool against destructive narcissists, who are often uncomfortable with the truth. Tamie shares her personal experiences and explains that the truth has a vibrational frequency that is more powerful than any lie. By speaking the truth, especially when it challenges the narcissist's false narrative, the empath can disrupt the narcissist's sense of self and their manipulative tactics.

15:02

🚫 Inducing Narcissistic Discomfort Through Indifference

The fourth strategy involves treating the narcissist with indifference, which Tamie explains can be very destabilizing for them. Narcissists are accustomed to treating others with contempt, but when they are met with indifference, it challenges their sense of entitlement and self-worth. This strategy highlights the narcissist's double standards and can lead to their realization of their own insignificance in the eyes of the person they are trying to manipulate.

20:02

❌ The Impact of Rejection on Narcissistic Self-Esteem

In the fifth strategy, Tamie discusses the deep-seated fear of rejection that many narcissists harbor. She points out that beneath their confident exterior lies a fragile ego that is easily shattered by rejection. By showing a narcissist that their actions and opinions hold no sway, the empath can cause significant damage to the narcissist's self-esteem and sense of control.

πŸ”Ž Exposing Narcissistic Behavior in Public

Tamie's sixth strategy involves the fear of exposure that narcissists have. By putting the narcissist on the spot in front of others, their toxic behavior can be highlighted and their manipulative tactics exposed. This can be done by calling out their gossip, incompetence, or passive-aggressive behavior, and then maintaining silence, allowing the narcissist to further expose themselves.

πŸ“‰ Unfavorable Comparisons and the Narcissist's Fragile Ego

The seventh strategy is to exploit the narcissist's tendency to compare themselves unfavorably with others. Narcissists rely on external validation and competition to bolster their fragile self-worth. By drawing attention to these unfavorable comparisons, the empath can trigger the narcissist's insecurities and force them to confront their own inadequacies.

πŸ™…β€β™‚οΈ Ignoring the Narcissist to Starve Their Emotional Needs

Tamie's eighth strategy is to ignore the narcissist completely, which can starve them of the attention and emotional energy they crave. By not responding to their attempts at communication or engagement, the empath can cause the narcissist to feel ignored and unimportant, which can be a powerful blow to their ego.

😊 Pursuing Genuine Happiness as a Form of Narcissistic Disruption

In the ninth strategy, Tamie suggests that the pursuit of genuine happiness and peace can be a form of revenge against a narcissist. By focusing on one's own well-being and happiness, the empath can demonstrate that they are no longer affected by the narcissist's behavior. This can cause the narcissist to feel irrelevant and unable to control the empath's emotional state.

πŸ”’ Establishing No Contact as a Final Barrier Against Narcissism

The final strategy presented by Tamie is to establish and maintain no contact with the narcissist. This complete detachment demonstrates that the empath has given up on the narcissist entirely and is no longer interested in any form of interaction. This can be a powerful statement of self-preservation and a clear message to the narcissist that their behavior is no longer tolerated.

πŸ“ž Seeking Support and Resources for Healing and Recovery

In the concluding part of the script, Tamie offers her coaching services to those who need support in healing and recovering from narcissistic abuse. She provides various ways to engage with her platform, including subscribing to her channel, watching her free web class, joining her eight-week coaching program 'The Freedom Class', and applying for one-on-one consultations.

Mindmap

Keywords

πŸ’‘Narcissist

A narcissist, in the context of this video, refers to an individual with a personality disorder characterized by a grandiose sense of self-importance, a lack of empathy, and a constant need for admiration. The video discusses strategies for dealing with such individuals, particularly in the context of their manipulative and emotionally abusive behaviors.

πŸ’‘Empaths

Empaths are individuals who are highly sensitive to the emotions and feelings of others. In the video, the speaker addresses empaths and provides guidance on how they can handle interactions with narcissists, suggesting that their sensitivity can be both a strength and a vulnerability in such relationships.

πŸ’‘Codependency

Codependency is a behavioral pattern in which a person relies excessively on others for approval, support, and a sense of identity. The video mentions the speaker's specialization in codependency, which is relevant to understanding the dynamics of relationships with narcissists, as codependent individuals may be particularly susceptible to manipulation.

πŸ’‘Narcissistic Abuse

Narcissistic abuse refers to the emotional and psychological mistreatment that can occur in relationships with narcissists. The video's theme revolves around strategies for empaths to protect themselves from such abuse and to cope with the aftermath of it.

πŸ’‘Emotional Manipulation

Emotional manipulation is a tactic used by narcissists to control and influence others by playing on their emotions. The script discusses how narcissists exploit the empathetic nature of others for their own benefit, which is a key aspect of narcissistic abuse.

πŸ’‘Non-Reactivity

Non-reactivity, as discussed in the video, is the act of not responding emotionally to provocations or negative behaviors. It is presented as a strategy for empaths to disempower narcissists by withholding the emotional reactions they seek.

πŸ’‘Radical Honesty

Radical honesty is the practice of being completely truthful, even when it may be uncomfortable or difficult. The video suggests that this approach can be particularly effective in dealing with narcissists, as it challenges their tendency to deceive and manipulate.

πŸ’‘Indifference

Indifference, in the context of the video, refers to a lack of interest or concern towards the narcissist's actions or opinions. It is posited as a powerful tool for empaths to assert their autonomy and to deny the narcissist the emotional engagement they crave.

πŸ’‘Rejection

Rejection is the act of dismissing or not valuing someone's input or presence. The script explains that narcissists, who often have a deep-seated fear of rejection, can be significantly affected when they are met with indifference or outright rejection.

πŸ’‘Exposure

Exposure, in the video, means to publicly reveal or highlight the negative traits or behaviors of a narcissist. It is suggested as a strategy to confront the narcissist's actions in a way that can lead to their discomfort or self-reflection.

πŸ’‘No Contact

No contact is the act of completely cutting off communication and interaction with a person, in this case, a narcissist. The video emphasizes the importance of establishing and maintaining no contact as a means of self-preservation and healing for empaths.

πŸ’‘Happiness

Happiness, as discussed in the video, is portrayed as a state of well-being and contentment that can be chosen and cultivated. It is suggested that achieving happiness independently of the narcissist can be a powerful way for empaths to demonstrate their resilience and move beyond the abusive dynamic.

Highlights

Tamie M Joyce introduces herself as an empowerment life coach specializing in codependency and narcissistic abuse recovery.

A warning is issued for those in jeopardy of being harmed by a narcissist, indicating the strategies are for dealing with non-violent toxic individuals.

Highlighting the first strategy: Letting the narcissist know you're aware of their manipulative tactics through attitude and energy.

The importance of remaining non-reactive to a narcissist's attempts to provoke an emotional response is emphasized.

Radical honesty as a powerful tool against destructive narcissists, causing discomfort due to their unfamiliarity with truth.

Treating narcissists with indifference can destabilize them, contrary to their entitled behavior.

Rejection is a potent strategy against narcissists who fear it deeply, despite their outward confidence.

The fear of exposure among narcissists and how putting them on the spot can be an effective strategy.

Unfavorable comparisons and the narcissist's inability to cope when they perceive themselves as inferior.

Ignoring a narcissist completely can starve them of the attention they crave, causing emotional distress.

Becoming genuinely happy as a strategy to unsettle a narcissist, showcasing a life well-lived without them.

Establishing and maintaining no contact demonstrates complete detachment and disinterest, a powerful statement of self-worth.

How Tamie M Coaching offers support through subscription, free web classes, and an eight-week coaching program.

The invitation for those needing immediate help to apply for coaching and make progress in their healing and recovery.

The transcript's focus on strategies for empaths to deal with narcissists, promoting self-awareness and empowerment.

The transformative potential of the strategies for those recovering from codependency and narcissistic abuse.

Transcripts

play00:00

- What does it take to cause the narcissist to

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be the one to lose their mind for a change?

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Well, in today's video

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I'm giving you 10 things empaths can do to

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cause the narcissist to be the one to lose their mind.

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You don't wanna miss this.

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Let's get started.

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(bright music)

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Hello, friends. Welcome back to my channel.

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My name is Tamie M Joyce.

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I'm an empowerment life coach specializing

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in codependency and narcissistic abuse recovery

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for empaths, scapegoats, and awakening light leaders.

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If you're new to my channel, a very special welcome.

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Please take a second to say hello

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and introduce yourself in the comment section below.

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And don't forget to subscribe and hit that bell

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so you never miss a new video.

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So let's talk about 10 things that empaths can do to

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cause narcissists to lose their ever loving minds.

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But first, a word of warning.

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What I'm about to share with you applies to those

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of you who know you're not in jeopardy of being harmed.

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You know that you're safe, you're confident, and strong.

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It applies to those of you who are dealing

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with your average pain in the neck, toxic human,

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otherwise known as the destructive narcissist.

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In other words, the empathy impaired emotional manipulator

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who feels entitled to target

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and exploit others in any number of ways,

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the emotionally and psychologically abusive narcissist

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whose toxicity is problematic,

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but isn't likely to stoop so low as to become violent.

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These strategies are not meant

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for those of you who are dealing

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with more high spectrum and therefore dangerous narcissists.

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If you're dealing with someone who is likely to

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become violent in any way and may harm you

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or anyone else who's vulnerable, this video is not for you.

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Got it?

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Good.

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Now with that out of the way,

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let's dive into the 10 things that empaths can do to

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cause the narcissist to lose their mind.

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Number one, let them know you're onto them.

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Don't tell them,

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show them with your attitude and your energy.

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Let your facial expression

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and the vibe you carry say it all.

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Done right, you're letting them know

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that you see right through them.

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And when they realize that you see through them,

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that you're onto them, that you know what's behind the mask,

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when they know that you know just how toxic,

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fragile and inadequate they actually are,

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when they know that you know how fragile their ego is,

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how fragile their false sense of self is,

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and how fragile, inadequate and inferior

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their fake phony facade really is,

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along with all the false bravado,

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or in the case of the covert narcissist,

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what a complete and utter BS the ongoing

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and never ending victim story is,

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it's game over.

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And that alone can drive a narcissist insane.

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Number two, remain completely non-reactive.

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If you wanna drive a narcissist crazy,

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whatever you do, do not react.

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And what I mean by this is refuse to acknowledge

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their attempts to provoke you, to bait you,

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to hook your attention,

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and inspire an emotional reaction from you.

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In other words, refuse to engage, respond,

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argue or defend yourself.

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Just refuse to fight back.

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Narcissists need emotional intensity.

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They need drama and chaos in order to feel alive.

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And they literally feed off of your emotional reactivity,

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which is why they work so hard to trigger it.

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Because in their sick mind,

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this is how they remind themselves just how special,

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superior and important they are.

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In addition, they especially need a target,

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someone whom they can project onto.

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And what do they project?

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All of their deeply buried guilt shame

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and self-loathing, their own destructive attitudes,

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behavior, and relationship crimes.

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When you refuse to engage, when you refuse to fight back,

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when all of their cheap shots, hurtful criticism,

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personal attacks, and full blown projections,

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meaning all of their deeply buried shadow self

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that they carry subconsciously,

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again, their own guilt, shame, and self-loathing,

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when they're dumping all of their crap onto you,

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and all of it is met with a flat line unemotional,

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non-reactivity, a complete blank stare,

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poker face, if you must.

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But the point is, when you hold this posture

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their nonsense has nowhere to land.

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They aren't getting their hit of narcissistic supply,

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no emotion, no energy equals no supply.

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And when you do this

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and their attacks and projections don't land,

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you don't take on any of their stuff.

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They literally cannot unburden themselves of

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the heavy load they carry.

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And let's be clear, it's their load to deal with.

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It's not your stuff.

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And it's certainly not your responsibility.

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So if you must say something,

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simply say in as calm and unemotional

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a tone as you can manage,

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"I understand.

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Here's the thing.

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You don't get to take your pain out on me anymore."

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And silence, not another word.

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This isn't a reaction.

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This is delivering information, period.

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So remember, narcissists need a chosen target,

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a human dumping ground,

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for the express purpose of unburdening themselves

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from their deeply buried disowned shadow.

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All the stuff they carry subconsciously

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that they cannot own, accept,

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or acknowledge about themselves.

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So when you refuse to react,

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when you refuse to get into the ring with them

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to roll around in the mud with them,

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when you refuse to engage or fight back,

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if you remain completely flatline

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and totally non-emotional and non-reactive,

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their stuff has nowhere to land

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and they don't get to feel the relief of having

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dumped it all over you.

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The result of this level of detached self-control

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and emotional maturity on your part

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is precisely how the narcissist learns

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to the extent to which they're powerless over you.

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And nothing will drive a narcissist crazy,

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nothing will cause a narcissist to lose their

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mind faster than realizing they're powerless over you.

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Powerless to manipulate you, to affect you,

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to control you, completely and utterly powerless.

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Number three, radical honesty.

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Few things will drive a destructive narcissist crazy

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faster than the truth.

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Cold, hard facts, baby.

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In other words, being brutally honest to a fault.

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Trust me, I grew up surrounded by people of this silk.

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I dated a bunch of them in my past life,

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and even worked with a few in my previous career.

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And I can tell you looking back,

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the thing that drove the most nuts

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about me was my pension for the truth,

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my tendency to speak my mind and call it as it is.

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It was fine for them to say whatever they wanted to,

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but nobody else gets to speak up or speak out.

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And here's a fun fact.

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The truth has a vibrational frequency

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1,000 times more powerful than any lie ever will.

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That's why the truth wins every time.

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Maybe not immediately or instantaneously,

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but in the end you can count on it.

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And those of us who carry this level

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of honesty in our field are highly disruptive

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and disturbing for the destructive narcissist.

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Even when we don't open our mouths,

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they can't quite put their finger on it,

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but something about us makes them very uncomfortable.

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It's the raise of truth in our field.

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Maybe not consciously,

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but on some level they sense that frequency

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and they don't like it.

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It threatens to expose them and all the lies they live by.

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So learn to use radical honesty to your advantage.

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The thing is, narcissists are so comfortable

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with lies and deception that this level

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of honesty is completely foreign to them.

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And it causes them to squirm

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in ways that can be fascinating to watch.

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Don't forget.

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Narcissists are highly manipulative

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and have a very fragile sense of self.

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When you stop telling them what they want to hear,

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and instead start telling them the cold, hard truth,

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what no one else has the strength

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or courage to say to their face,

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in particular, when they've backed themselves into a corner,

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they'll likely disappear and fast.

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And in my opinion, that's a very good thing.

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Can you imagine something as simple as the truth

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being that kind of powerful?

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A mentor of mine used to say,

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"The truth is always good enough."

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Words I will live by forever.

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Number four, treat them with indifference.

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Treating a destructive narcissist

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to a healthy dose of indifference

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will drive them absolutely mad.

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Narcissists feel entitled to treat others

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with unwarranted and unprovoked contempt and disdain.

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But when the tables turn,

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they're often completely destabilized.

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They can't figure it out.

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It's a classic case of rules for thee,

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but not for me scenario,

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the double standard.

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They can treat others like absolute goo on their shoe.

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But the moment they realize

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their existence means nothing to you,

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you're completely and utterly indifferent to their presence

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or whatever it is they think they have to offer,

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it drives them crazy.

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Which brings me to my next point.

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Number five, rejection

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Don't be fooled by the false persona, the mask.

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Although they hide it well,

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the majority of narcissists have a deep fear

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of rejection and abandonment.

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Now, while they might appear on the surface to

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be very confident and have strong self-esteem,

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this is often no more than an act, a facade.

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Underneath their false bravado is a fragile,

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insecure and immature ego that needs constant bolstering.

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And few things can shatter that false confidence

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like rejecting them.

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When you show a narcissist that their opinion

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has zero sway over you,

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that their antics, control dramas,

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power dynamics, toxic gossip,

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all the loyalty conflicts they create,

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the perceptions they're busy trying to manipulate,

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all the nonsense that they bring to the table,

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when you show them that you couldn't care less,

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you're completely unaffected,

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not the slightest bit interested or impressed

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or bothered in any way,

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they know full well they're being rejected

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and that blows their mind.

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They have no idea what to do with that.

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Now comment below and let me know

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whether or not you'll be using any

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of these strategies to turn the tables

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and permanently change the game

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with the destructive narcissist in your life.

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Let me know in the comment section below,

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and if you'd like to learn more about the possibility

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of working with me

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in my eight-week transformational coaching program,

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"The Freedom Class",

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there is a link in the description below

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where you can apply to see if you qualify

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for a free one-on-one consultation with either myself

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or a member of my team.

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Number six, exposure.

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The thread of exposure is terrifying

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for a destructive narcissist.

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And this actually isn't hard to do.

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All you have to do is put them

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on the spot in front of others.

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Now this might take some strength

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and courage on your part that you've yet to develop,

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but assuming you're safe and you're feeling strong

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and relatively bulletproof,

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putting the narcissist on the hot seat,

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especially in front of others can be very effective.

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For example, you can easily do this

play11:29

by exposing their toxic gossip for what it is.

play11:32

Just say something like,

play11:34

"Yeah, that's none of my business,"

play11:37

or, "That sounds like a personal problem.

play11:41

Perhaps you should keep that to yourself."

play11:44

And then not another word.

play11:45

You've highlighted their shitty behavior for what it is.

play11:48

There's nothing more to say.

play11:50

Other options could be exposing their obvious incompetence,

play11:54

the extent to which they exaggerate,

play11:56

or calling them out when they're being passive aggressive.

play12:00

Like for example, "Did you just roll your eyes at me?

play12:04

Interesting. Good to know."

play12:07

And then silence.

play12:08

Not another word.

play12:09

No matter what they say, stay calm.

play12:12

Or better yet, smile subtly,

play12:14

and watch the narcissist go on to further expose themselves

play12:18

for exactly who and what they are.

play12:21

You can also ask them a direct question in front of others

play12:24

that they can't legitimately answer without risking exposing

play12:27

and embarrassing themselves.

play12:28

Works like a charm.

play12:30

And if you like these strategies and you wanna go deeper,

play12:33

be sure to check out my video,

play12:35

"How to Drive Narcissist Crazy", right here.

play12:38

Number seven, unfavorable comparisons.

play12:42

No one suffers from comparisonitis more than a person

play12:47

with a destructive narcissist personality pattern.

play12:50

Life for them is a constant and nonstop,

play12:53

never ending competition in which they must come

play12:57

out on top or win at all costs.

play12:59

And they're not above competing with their own children,

play13:03

stepchildren, nieces, or nephews,

play13:05

in particular, which everyone happens to have been cast

play13:08

as a family scapegoat.

play13:09

And they'll do this in a desperate attempt to shore

play13:13

up their fragile sense of self and the false image

play13:16

they work so hard to convince you is the truth

play13:19

of who they are.

play13:20

To a narcissist, their value in self-worth

play13:23

is directly tied to external factors,

play13:26

such as physical appearance, social status, authority,

play13:30

possessions, who they know and what they,

play13:33

their partner and/or their offspring do for a living.

play13:36

This type of so-called self-worth is fragile at best

play13:40

because it's dependent on, again,

play13:43

external factors and a competitive perspective.

play13:46

In other words, narcissists can only feel good

play13:49

about themselves when they compare themselves

play13:51

to others and feel superior as a result.

play13:54

But they have a really hard time coping when

play13:58

the comparison is not in their favor,

play14:01

or they come up short and are seen as inferior in some way.

play14:04

So all you have to do is shine a light

play14:07

on the unfavorable comparison,

play14:08

and then sit back and let the narcissist do the rest.

play14:12

Remember, a fundamental narcissistic trait

play14:14

is viewing themselves as superior, above others,

play14:17

and therefore entitled to special treatment, privileges,

play14:21

or favor as a result.

play14:23

When reality contradicts this view,

play14:25

a narcissist will scramble

play14:27

as their ego defenses go into maximum overdrive.

play14:31

They'll try to minimize or ignore the situation,

play14:34

attack their perceived rival,

play14:36

or find a way to boost their status

play14:38

in a desperate attempt to win the game of one upmanship.

play14:42

If you've ever watched this play out,

play14:44

you know just how pathetic it can be.

play14:47

Number eight, ignore them.

play14:50

Do not them any attention, zero, nothing, nada.

play14:55

Don't return their phone calls, do not respond to text,

play14:58

do not reply to their emails, give them nothing.

play15:01

In fact, if you're smart,

play15:03

you're not even opening and reading that nonsense.

play15:06

This is how you starve a narcissist to death

play15:09

both emotionally and energetically,

play15:12

and drive them out of their mind in the process.

play15:14

And if you can't ignore them entirely for any reason,

play15:18

then ignoring them is often no more complicated

play15:21

than not taking anything they do or say seriously.

play15:25

In other words, you fully have a whatever attitude

play15:30

and you don't so much as bat an eyelash in response

play15:32

to the drama, the chaos, the bullying, the toxicity,

play15:35

or the idle threats.

play15:37

in doing so, you're fundamentally highlighting the fact,

play15:40

and I do mean fact,

play15:42

that you're dealing with an entitled emotional toddler

play15:45

in an adult's body who is suffering

play15:48

from egotistical delusions of grandeur.

play15:51

They know it and you know it.

play15:53

By ignoring their grandiose stories

play15:56

and all the virtue signaling that they do all day,

play15:59

their ego takes a huge hit.

play16:02

They aren't succeeding in manipulating and controlling you

play16:05

or your perception and therefore they lose.

play16:08

And on that note, number nine, get happy.

play16:12

Seriously, if you wanna drive a narcissist crazy,

play16:16

any narcissist in your life, no matter who they are,

play16:19

find a way to become the happiest person you know.

play16:22

Legitimately, genuinely, authentically happy,

play16:26

really happy and at peace.

play16:29

Make the decision to start living your best life

play16:31

as your best self,

play16:32

whatever you have to do to get there,

play16:35

and let the narcissist eat their heart out when you do.

play16:38

I promise you they will.

play16:40

What most people don't realize

play16:42

is that happiness is a choice and you can choose it.

play16:45

Now, admittedly, this may take some work on your part,

play16:47

in particular, if you've been narcissistically abused,

play16:50

and you have yet to begin your healing and recovery work.

play16:53

But I promise you this,

play16:54

if you take the focus off of the narcissist

play16:57

and instead pour all of your time, energy, attention,

play17:01

and resources focusing on your own healing

play17:03

and recovery process,

play17:05

you can become the happiest, healthiest person you know.

play17:08

How do I know?

play17:09

Because I've done it and I help others do it every day.

play17:13

And here's what I know for sure.

play17:15

When you are busy living a good life, genuinely happy,

play17:19

seriously productive, thriving, feeling good, doing well,

play17:23

minding your own business, just doing your thing,

play17:26

and the narcissists can see even from a distance

play17:29

just how good life has become for you without them,

play17:33

they know you're not the least bit curious about them,

play17:36

what they've got going on, what they're up to,

play17:39

or who they're doing it with,

play17:40

because you're just too darn happy to notice or care,

play17:44

that probably more than anything

play17:46

will cause a narcissist to lose their mind.

play17:48

And if you want help with that

play17:50

go TamieMCoaching.com and click on programs and reviews,

play17:54

and learn how you can become the happiest person you know.

play17:57

Number 10, establish and maintain no contact.

play18:02

When you establish and maintain no contact

play18:05

with a narcissist, especially over the long term,

play18:08

what you're really demonstrating is

play18:10

that you've given up on them entirely.

play18:12

You've closed the door and walked away for good.

play18:15

This is not a negotiation

play18:16

and it's definitely not a game.

play18:19

It's absolute and complete detachment on all levels.

play18:22

Absolute and complete disinterest on all levels.

play18:26

I couldn't care less.

play18:27

I love me more and you are dead to me, period.

play18:31

No attention, no energy, no care, no concern,

play18:34

no narcissistic supply, which boils down to no contact.

play18:39

And for the record, this doesn't make you bad,

play18:42

wrong, heartless, unfeeling, unloving, unkind,

play18:47

or any less of an empath,

play18:49

or less spiritual than you might otherwise be.

play18:51

What it makes you is wise, strong, happy, healthy,

play18:56

and peaceful, all good things.

play18:59

How can Tamie M Coaching help you?

play19:01

Four ways.

play19:02

Number one, subscribe to my channel

play19:04

and click that notification bell to make sure

play19:06

you get my new video every Friday.

play19:08

Number two, watch my free web class by clicking

play19:12

on the link in the description below.

play19:14

You'll learn about my personal journey

play19:16

and professional experience through decades of research

play19:19

specific to healing and recovery from codependency

play19:22

and narcissistic abuse.

play19:23

You'll also learn about some powerful strategies

play19:26

that you can begin to use today.

play19:28

Number three, if you're not sure where to start

play19:31

but you wanna come and learn from my team and I,

play19:33

and you'd like to be supported

play19:34

by a stellar community of like-minded people who are focused

play19:38

on solutions that actually work,

play19:40

you can learn more

play19:41

about my eight-week transformational coaching program,

play19:43

"The Freedom Class", by going to TamieMCoaching.com

play19:47

and clicking on programs and reviews for all the details.

play19:50

And number four, if you want some help right now

play19:53

because you've got a burning issue,

play19:54

you need something solved,

play19:56

you want a break free

play19:56

from painful relationship patterns permanently

play19:59

and actually make lasting progress

play20:01

in your healing and recovery,

play20:03

go to TamieMCoaching.com and click

play20:05

on "apply now" to learn how to become a client.

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Related Tags
EmpowermentNarcissistic AbuseEmpathsHealingRecoverySelf-CareToxicityCoachingEmotional ManipulationLife Coach