Limitless Journey | Anita Peter | TEDxSJCETPalai

Summary

The speaker, a 43-year-old woman, shares her journey from being labeled a rebel and troublemaker to discovering her passions for music, dance, and acting. Despite societal and familial pressures to conform, she pursued her dreams, facing rejections and physical limitations in the entertainment industry. She eventually found solace in dance, theater, running marathons, and even riding a Harley-Davidson. Her story emphasizes the importance of self-respect, accountability, and resilience, encouraging others to embrace their true selves and find happiness in their unique paths.

Takeaways

• 🎸 Early in life, the speaker was considered a rebel and struggled with memorization and concentration, but had a passion for music and mimicking.
• 🏆 Despite societal expectations to pursue traditional careers like doctor or engineer, the speaker's family encouraged education but limited her freedom to explore her passions.
• 🎭 The speaker's desire to learn dance and acting was hindered by societal norms and her family's concerns about her safety.
• 🎓 The speaker faced academic challenges, particularly with subjects requiring memorization, and struggled with the expectations of her economics professors.
• 💔 The speaker's aspirations in acting were met with rejection due to her marital status and physical attributes not aligning with industry standards.
• 🚫 The speaker experienced depression and a lack of support, which led her to seek help from various doctors and to question societal norms about gender roles.
• 💃 She found solace and a new passion in dance, even incorporating her child into her practice and eventually performing in theater.
• 🏃‍♀️ The speaker discovered running and marathons as a means of personal liberation and empowerment, embracing physical activity as a form of self-expression.
• 🏍️ The speaker's love for riding motorcycles, a traditionally male-dominated activity, challenged gender stereotypes and represented her journey towards self-acceptance.
• 🔑 The speaker emphasizes the importance of self-respect, accountability, and resilience as key values in overcoming life's challenges.
• 🚗 She concludes by encouraging others to look beyond external influences and to find inspiration from within, focusing on personal growth and happiness.

Q & A

What was the speaker's early life like, and how did others perceive her?

The speaker describes her early life as that of a rebel and an abnormal person. She was perceived as unsteady, unintelligent, unable to concentrate, and always causing trouble for her family.

What creative activities did the speaker engage in during her youth?

The speaker was involved in singing, playing the guitar and keyboard, and recording her music. She would layer her own vocals and instrumentals using tape recorders, a process she enjoyed without knowing it was called mixing.

How did the speaker's talent for mimicry and dancing manifest in college?

In college, the speaker was a very good mimic and enjoyed dancing to anything that made her feel happy. She participated in informal dance and won many prizes at the university level.

What were the societal and parental expectations that influenced the speaker's career choices?

The societal and parental expectations were for her to become a doctor, engineer, or something involving math and science, which were the conventional career paths at the time.

Why did the speaker struggle with her studies in science and economics?

The speaker struggled with memorization and questioning the relevance of certain subjects, which led to her being branded as arrogant and having no future in science. In economics, she faced issues with the need to memorize extensive theories that were later deemed not accepted.

What was the speaker's family's view on her pursuing dance and acting?

The speaker's family was protective and believed a daughter should be safe, so they limited her options. Her mother suggested that after marriage, she could do what she wanted, making marriage a key to her freedom.

How did the speaker's aspirations to act face societal and industry barriers?

The speaker faced barriers such as societal expectations of married women and industry standards regarding physical attributes. Directors offered her roles that were not in line with her aspirations, focusing on her marital status and body measurements.

What impact did the speaker's experiences have on her mental health?

The speaker's experiences led to feelings of depression and a search for peace through various doctors. She faced criticism and was even labeled as having a mental problem by some.

How did dance become a significant part of the speaker's life and recovery?

Dance became a form of therapy for the speaker. She started learning dance and incorporated it into her daily life, even practicing with her baby. Eventually, someone noticed her talent and invited her to do theater.

What major life decision did the speaker face, and how did she handle it?

The speaker faced the decision of moving to a new city due to her husband's job transfer, which threatened her budding theater career. Despite the challenges, she chose to move and adapt, using resources like Google to find new opportunities.

What values and advice does the speaker emphasize for personal growth and happiness?

The speaker emphasizes respect, accountability, and resilience as key values. She advises focusing on what makes one happy, accepting oneself, and being open to inspiration from within rather than external factors.

Outlines

00:00

🎼 Journey of a Misunderstood Creative Soul

The speaker, a 43-year-old individual, reflects on their life as a misunderstood rebel with a passion for music and performing arts. Despite early struggles with concentration and societal labels, they found solace in creating music with tape recorders and mimicking, which earned them recognition in college. The societal expectation to pursue traditional careers like medicine or engineering conflicted with their creative interests. Their journey through education was fraught with challenges, particularly with subjects requiring memorization. The speaker's family was conservative, limiting their opportunities to explore their passions until they were married, which was seen as the key to freedom to pursue their dreams.

05:03

🎭 Overcoming Barriers in the Acting World

After marriage, the speaker sought to pursue acting but faced numerous obstacles, including societal expectations of married women and physical attributes not aligning with industry standards. Despite looking young for their age and having acting opportunities, they were often typecast in roles that didn't satisfy their desire for meaningful transformation. The speaker's passion for acting was met with rejection and stereotyping, leading to a period of depression and self-doubt. However, they found solace in learning dance, even incorporating their infant daughter into their practice, which eventually led to opportunities in theater and television, although these did not bring complete happiness due to the constant need for external approval.

10:05

🏃‍♀️ From Despair to Empowerment Through Physical Activities

The speaker's life took a turn when their husband's job transfer threatened their budding acting career. In a new city, feeling desperate, they found solace in running, which led to participation in marathons, and later, in motorcycling. These activities not only provided a sense of freedom and empowerment but also challenged traditional gender roles and stereotypes. The speaker emphasizes the importance of self-acceptance, challenging societal norms, and finding happiness in one's own identity. They share a powerful message about resilience, respect, accountability, and the importance of not being confined by others' opinions or expectations.

15:06

🚀 Embracing Life's Limitless Journey with Resilience

In the concluding paragraph, the speaker shares life lessons and values that have helped them navigate through challenges. They metaphorically describe life as a car journey, where the rearview and side mirrors represent past influences and scars, but the focus should be on moving forward. The speaker encourages embracing one's true self, finding inspiration from within, and not being limited by external factors. They leave the audience with three core values—respect, accountability, and resilience—which have been instrumental in their personal growth and journey towards self-discovery and empowerment.

Keywords

💡Rebel

A 'rebel' is an individual who resists or defies authority or societal norms. In the video, the speaker identifies as a rebel early in life, which signifies their nonconformity and resistance to the expectations placed upon them. This is a central theme of the video, as it sets the stage for the speaker's journey of self-discovery and defiance of societal norms.

💡Concentration

Concentration refers to the ability to focus one's attention on a single task or object. The speaker mentions a lack of concentration as a personal trait, which could imply difficulties in traditional educational settings that require sustained focus. This keyword is relevant as it contrasts with the speaker's later achievements in creative pursuits that do not necessarily require the same type of concentration.

💡Memorization

Memorization is the process of committing information to memory. The speaker expresses a struggle with memorization, which is a common requirement in traditional education systems. This keyword is significant as it highlights the speaker's challenges with conventional learning methods and foreshadows their journey towards finding alternative paths to express their creativity and intelligence.

💡Mixing

In the context of music, 'mixing' refers to the process of combining multiple tracks to create a cohesive piece of music. The speaker describes their early attempts at creating music by layering recordings, which is a form of mixing. This keyword is important as it showcases the speaker's creativity and their instinct for creating art without formal training.

💡Mimic

A 'mimic' is someone who can imitate the behavior or speech of others convincingly. The speaker mentions being a good mimic in college, which is relevant to the theme of the video as it demonstrates their talent for performance and ability to capture the essence of different personalities, a skill useful in acting and other performing arts.

💡Approval

Approval is the act of giving formal agreement or consent. Throughout the video, the speaker seeks approval from various authority figures, such as professors and directors, which is a common theme in personal growth narratives. The speaker's quest for approval reflects the struggle many individuals face when trying to balance personal aspirations with societal expectations.

💡Transformation

Transformation refers to a profound change in form, appearance, or character. The speaker expresses a desire for transformation through acting, indicating a yearning to step into different roles and lives. This keyword is central to the video's theme, as it encapsulates the speaker's drive to explore and express their identity beyond the constraints of their initial circumstances.

💡Standards

Standards are established levels of quality or attainment. The speaker discusses the industry standards for physical attributes in acting, which they do not meet, highlighting the discrimination and rigid expectations they faced. This keyword is significant as it underscores the societal pressures and the struggle for acceptance on one's own terms.

💡Depression

Depression is a state of low mood and aversion to activity that can affect a person's thoughts, behavior, feelings, and sense of well-being. The speaker mentions slipping into depression due to the challenges they faced, which is a critical aspect of the narrative as it illustrates the emotional toll of their journey and the resilience required to overcome these challenges.

💡Resilience

Resilience is the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties. The speaker concludes the video with a discussion on resilience, emphasizing its importance in their life. This keyword is central to the video's message, as it encapsulates the speaker's ability to bounce back from adversity and the importance of maintaining flexibility and strength in the face of life's challenges.

💡Accountability

Accountability is the willingness to accept responsibility for one's actions. The speaker values accountability, suggesting that it is essential to own one's successes and failures. This keyword is important as it reinforces the video's theme of personal growth and the importance of self-reliance in navigating life's challenges.

Highlights

The speaker began as a rebel and was considered abnormal and unsteady in her early life.

She had a natural talent for music, playing guitar and keyboard, and enjoyed recording her own music.

The speaker was a good mimic and enjoyed dancing, winning prizes at the university level.

Despite her interests, societal and parental expectations led her to study subjects she didn't excel in, like maths and science.

She faced branding and negative labels from teachers and professors due to her questioning nature.

The speaker's family was protective and only allowed her to pursue her interests after marriage.

Her husband was supportive of her dreams, but societal norms and expectations still limited her opportunities.

The speaker faced rejection in the acting industry due to her marital status and physical attributes.

She experienced depression and sought help from various doctors without finding peace.

Dance became a significant part of her life, providing a sense of freedom and joy.

The speaker was invited to do theater, which was a turning point in her journey towards self-expression.

Her career in theater and television provided some happiness but also came with a constant need for approval.

A job transfer for her husband led to a significant decision that affected her career and personal life.

The speaker discovered running and participated in marathons, finding a new passion and sense of accomplishment.

She also rediscovered her love for riding motorcycles, challenging gender norms and societal expectations.

The speaker emphasizes the importance of self-acceptance and not being confined by societal labels.

She shares her values of respect, accountability, and resilience as keys to overcoming life's challenges.

The speaker encourages others to find inspiration within themselves and not to be limited by others' experiences.

She concludes by emphasizing the importance of focusing on one's own journey and not being hindered by the past.

Transcripts

[Music]

hi I'm 43 years old and I stayed right

because I love the reaction that I get

let's begin with something who I was I

was a rebel

an abnormal person unsteady Dumbo stupid

a person who could not concentrate and a

person who always was a trouble to her

family well these were the feathers that

I got on my calf pretty early in life I

still don't have an explanation but I

could never memorize education does not

belong begin from school neither does it

end there that's what is said I used to

sing I used to play the guitar and the

keyboard I used to record my music or I

used to sing play the guitar record on

one tape recorder then I would play that

and record on another tape recorder so I

would get the guitar my song I would

take seconds and play the piano along

with it I didn't know it was called

mixing but I enjoyed doing that I used

to be a very good mimic when I was in

college I used to dance not the formal

classical dance but anything that made

me feel happy I would dance so at the

university level I would get a lot of

prizes but then there - I got a tag

because my parents wanted me to be a

doctor so the options in front of us

those days were either doctor engineer

and probably accounts or whatever and

everything required maths it needed

science and it needed something that I

need to memorize

I took science and then God saved my

patients I took a change because I used

to ask questions there and any time I

asked a question either my book was

thrown out of class

or they would say get out and I was an

obedient child I did so there came the

branding that you are an arrogant person

and you have no future because if you

are a science student

there is no use if you are interested in

all this and I was given several titles

by my professors from there came

graduation again matha was not good at

so the options were mats mmm I don't

think you can do it

biology no chemistry no physics or you

don't have brains for that history oh

you are not good at memorizing and all

that okay accounts Maps once again

numbers it would be a problem okay take

economics so I took economics and little

did I know that you needed to memorize

three four pages and five pages and the

last line would be this theory is not

accepted because of this for God's sake

I asked my professor why the hell did I

have to buy her all this if you are

going to tell me this is not accepted so

then they she told me if you don't know

what history is you cannot change

history so I said tell me about the

history that made a difference and it

still continued some element of it not

something that is thrown away and she

would tell me my sister too was an

economics student and she would say your

sister was way ahead of you she was

never like you

she had a focus alright so these were

the brandings that I get and then I

wanted to learn dance I wanted to get

into acting but you can't blame my

family because they always felt a

daughter was unsafe outside so my mother

put only one option in front of me that

would give me the freedom to explore the

world ahead she said after you get

married do what you want

so marriage was that key all right the

key that would make me see the world

outside by the way it was a love

marriage the first love marriage

probably in my family when my mother

told me that after marriage you can do

what you want my only aim in life or the

goal was to find a husband I had a

friend and I married him and he knew

what all I wanted in life but

unfortunately he too was caught in the

so-called prescribed life of society

you're married you are the husband right

so he comes back from office and we both

were looking at each other there were

times when we used to get irritated and

I told my husband I want to act I really

want to add it was not about the fame

but then I got my opportunities to meet

a couple of directors I met them and I

at 32 I looked like a 26 year old okay

and they would see me and they'd say oh

so are you studying I'll say no I'm in

Bangalore in Bangalore do you live with

your family I say no I'm living with my

husband and child and they would say oh

then it's a problem and I said why can't

I act they said no because you are

married it is a problem I said but it's

all about acting and I look nice you

said I look young no but still okay we

can do something for you you probably

can be the wife of a 50 year old or you

can be the sister of a 50 year old or

you could be the hero ins friend these

were the options I got I wasn't ready

for that

not because of anything I was interested

in acting because I was interested in

the transformation the transformation of

getting into a character or the life so

that I as an actor could impact create

an impact I was not interested in being

the prop on screen I just was not

interested from there I was so upset

and then another thing that I realized

was to be an actor you need certain

things to qualify and something I could

not do anything much about that was my

physical attribute of my upper body not

being as big as is recommended as per

industry standards directors openly told

me that and they would ask me so what is

the measurement I would tell them they

said no that would be a problem and I

said no is the movie going to be about

this they said no but there is a

standard and our audience needs that so

I said that is why makeup is there they

said no it won't work

I just looked at him come on we are

living in an era when movies are made

and you know what all if we can make

extraterrestrial Star Wars can be made

can't you just recreate something of

your requirement I was so depressed and

who do I tell all this to I started

hating my physicality I slowly went

slipped into depression I did go from

Doctor to doctor in search of peace some

people even told me she has a mental

problem and then I just couldn't handle

it more I started learning dance my

daughter was one year old and I just

started and I didn't have a support

system so I used to take her with me in

the bassinet I took her I started

learning really well I used to dance

with her I used to tie her on my back

and I used to dance and while I used to

cook I used to practice after putting my

baby to sleep I used to practice and

slowly-slowly dance started getting my

becoming my life from there it so

happened that somebody saw me and asked

me Anita would you like to do theater

I said I'm married I have a child and I

have poor vital statistics so he said

why are you telling me that I said no

just in case you find out later I don't

want to lose my character in the play he

said Anita your character name is

Vader bhaskar it is a central character

in the sense everybody's character is

very prominent in a play that's how it

is but your character is right from the

beginning of the play to the end I could

not believe it

and there was Vader busker from there

there are little little what I would say

television and this that I did but that

never gave me happiness because at every

point of time I was seeking approval

from everybody else

and then as I established myself

then came the biggest decision of my

life

I was establishing and slowly finding my

grounding when my husband got his job

transfer to a new city and just as I was

laying the foundation and the foundation

was getting strong lot of discussions

went but the only choice was I needed to

go there to save everything that we had

it was groundbreaking for me but I went

I was so desperate and you know

something the Millennial babies or the

millennial they are lucky Google Google

saved me completely I typed I want to

run ok I want to run away from Hyderabad

and they popped up run in Hyderabad be

so and so time in so-and-so place and it

was a Saturday and there was a number

given I reached there and I saw a group

of people running I ran through the

pocket which was four kilometers and

trust me each time I ran I said did we

complete four kilometres did we and no

you just completed 50 meters 100 meters

that's how I started I loved that

feeling that I got and then through this

run they told me about the biggest event

in Hyderabad that is a marathon that was

held I went straight away and registered

for the marathon I didn't know what

American was I registered for the 21

kilometer from a dancer I moved on to a

runner and then I used to ride a bike

when I was 16

my parents didn't know that and I'm

sorry I didn't tell you I once again

started writing bought a harley-davidson

my husband bought one for himself and I

encouraged him to buy because I knew

this was there and then he bought the

bike not realizing that his wife would

ride more I have completed 10,000

kilometers on the harley-davidson and he

has completed his 2500 so the point I

would like to make here is for the men

you are constantly told that if you cry

you're not a man if you feel confused

you're not a man be a man don't wear

pink because you will be a woman don't

wait because everything is

compartmentalized but can I tell you one

thing if you if a color is going to

decide your gender if wearing pink is

not going to make you a man you were

never born a man in the first place if

doing something like riding a motorbike

or getting out in the dark is going to

question the fact that remember you are

a woman you have no right to do that

you were never a woman in the first

place and when you are able to identify

with in your about your gender and you

come out in the open

trust me it is amazing to have both

within you the true reality is

acceptance

ask yourself within what is it that I

really want what is it that makes me

happy I would say life is like driving a

car you have the rearview mirror you

have the side mirrors what I was is the

rear view mirror and the side mirrors

the people who either created a scar

within me or had an effect on me

are the sight mirrors so I have the rear

view mirror I have the side mirrors I

choose to continue my journey because it

is a limitless journey and I have the

power within in this limitless journey I

need

to see the rearview mirror and the side

mirrors because that is what helps me

plan my travel isn't it but if I choose

to only stare into the rearview mirror

or the side mirrors I will never be able

to go on if I have reached this far it

is to go ahead in life you can be

inspired by somebody else's story but to

find inspiration from within you have to

be open you need all the humility and

you have to have some element of

substance within you you may hear a lot

of inspirational talks trust me they

really make a difference in your lives

but try not to focus about the little

things that they went through or the

sadness they went through because

empathy or sympathy is a killer what I

want you to focus on is the way they

bounced back what are the qualities they

had the three words I would like to

leave you with are the three words I

carry with me as my value cuts one is

respect second is accountability and the

third is resilience respect yourself

your priority is you what lies within

you your priority is your happiness

respect others never burn bridges

because you never know which bridge will

take you back

accountability be accountable for your

actions whether you fail or whether you

succeed it is your problem it is your

responsibility failures don't mean the

end of the world

failures means it is time for another

beginning that's it and the third is

resilience you need to bounce back and

to bounce back you have to be really

flexible it's okay that's it so with

that I thank you all very much

you