Top Ten Things Celebrities Have Always Wanted To Say To Dave | Letterman

Letterman
24 Feb 202204:26

Summary

TLDRIn a humorous skit, various celebrities from the 'Top 10' list share what they've always wanted to say to Dave, host of a late-night show. With witty remarks from Alec Baldwin, Barbara Walters, Steve Martin, and others, the script is filled with playful jabs and compliments. Highlights include Chris Rock's comment on the show's new host and Bill Murray's closing joke about owing Dave money, showcasing the camaraderie and humor of the late-night circuit.

Takeaways

  • 🎉 The script is a humorous top 10 list about things someone has always wanted to say to Dave, a late show host.
  • 🏠 Takeaway 10: Alec Baldwin appreciates Dave's geographically convenient talk show for its proximity to his home.
  • 🌍 Takeaway 9: Barbara Walters humorously connects Dave's cologne to that of Muammar Gaddafi, implying a similarity.
  • 💉 Takeaway 8: Steve Martin's plastic surgery is mentioned as both necessary and a mistake in a sarcastic tone.
  • 📺 Takeaway 7: Jerry Seinfeld expresses mock concern about what he will do when Dave's show ends, but then reassures himself that he will be fine.
  • 🎭 Takeaway 6: Jim Carrey playfully accuses Dave of being an overactor, suggesting a theatrical style of hosting.
  • 🤝 Takeaway 5: Chris Rock jokes about the show being given to another white guy, implying a lack of diversity in television hosts.
  • 🎬 Takeaway 4: Julia Louis-Dreyfus sarcastically thanks Dave for involving her in another disappointing series finale, indicating a running joke.
  • 🏈 Takeaway 3: Peyton Manning humorously compares his role in comedy to Dave's, suggesting an inverted sense of humor.
  • 👩 Takeaway 2: Tina Fey is thanked for proving that men can be funny, inverting the common notion that women are the comedians.
  • 💰 Takeaway 1: Bill Murray ends the list with a joke about owing Dave money, implying a friendly relationship and a light-hearted debt.

Q & A

  • What is the theme of the top 10 list presented in the script?

    -The theme of the top 10 list is 'things I've always wanted to say to Dave,' with each item being a humorous comment or joke directed at the host, Dave.

  • Who is the first guest mentioned in the top 10 list and what is the joke about them?

    -The first guest mentioned is Alec Baldwin, and the joke is that Alec's talk show is the most geographically convenient to the speaker's home.

  • What is the humorous connection made between Dave and Muammar Gaddafi by Barbara Walters?

    -The humorous connection is that Dave and Muammar Gaddafi wear the same cologne.

  • What is the joke about Steve Martin's extensive plastic surgery?

    -The joke is that Steve Martin's extensive plastic surgery was both a necessity and a mistake.

  • What does Jerry Seinfeld say about what he will do when Dave goes off the air?

    -Jerry Seinfeld jokes that he initially had no idea what he would do when Dave goes off the air, but then he thought of something and realized he would be fine.

  • What is the comment made by Jim Carrey about Dave's acting skills?

    -Jim Carrey jokingly comments that he has always found Dave to be a bit of an overactor.

  • What does Chris Rock say about the new host of his show?

    -Chris Rock jokes that he is glad his show is being given to another white guy, implying a sarcastic comment on racial diversity in television.

  • What is the humorous remark made by Julia Louis-Dreyfus about a series finale?

    -Julia Louis-Dreyfus humorously thanks Dave for letting her take part in another 'hugely disappointing' series finale, indicating a playful jab at the endings of TV shows.

  • What is Peyton Manning's joke about Dave's role in comedy?

    -Peyton Manning humorously says that Dave is the comedy equivalent of what he (Peyton) is to comedy, suggesting a nonsensical comparison since Peyton is a football player, not a comedian.

  • What does Tina Fey say about Dave's contribution to proving men can be funny?

    -Tina Fey jokes that she thanks Dave for finally proving that men can be funny, which is a playful reversal of the common stereotype that women are the funny ones.

  • What is the final joke made by Bill Murray about owing Dave money?

    -Bill Murray humorously states that he will never have the money he owes Dave, but then quickly corrects himself to say it's the Late Show friends who owe Dave, adding a twist to the joke.

Outlines

00:00

🎙️ Top 10 List Introduction

The script opens with a presenter introducing a special top 10 list titled 'Top 10 Things I've Always Wanted to Say to Dave'. It is noted as the last list and features frequent late show guests who are also good friends. The presenter expresses gratitude to these guests for their time, talents, and generosity, setting the stage for a humorous and light-hearted segment.

🤔 Comedic Roast of Talk Show Hosts

The first part of the top 10 list humorously roasts various talk show hosts and celebrities. Alec Baldwin is thanked for having a geographically convenient show, Barbara Walters is playfully teased about sharing cologne with a controversial figure, and Steve Martin's plastic surgery is both acknowledged and mocked. Jerry Seinfeld jokes about what he'll do after Dave's show ends, and Jim Carrey humorously critiques Dave's acting skills.

🏆 Celebrities' Comedic Contributions

Continuing the list, Chris Rock expresses faux relief that Dave's show is being passed on to another white host, Julia Louis-Dreyfus sarcastically thanks Dave for involving her in a disappointing series finale, and Peyton Manning inverts the roast by complimenting Dave's comedic skills. Tina Fey is thanked for proving that men can be funny, adding another layer of humor to the segment.

💸 Bill Murray's Debt to Dave

The top 10 list culminates with Bill Murray, who jokingly acknowledges a debt owed to Dave. This sets up a punchline that the debt is not personal but rather a playful nod to the camaraderie and support among the late show community. The segment concludes with a collective thanks to everyone involved, promising a return after a break.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡Top 10 List

A 'Top 10 List' is a format commonly used in talk shows and other media where a list of ten items or points is presented, often humorously. In the video, this format is used to express things the guest has always wanted to say to Dave, the host, making it the central theme of the segment.

💡Talk Show

A 'Talk Show' is a television or radio program where the host engages in conversation with guests, often including discussions, interviews, and comedic segments. The script is from a talk show, and the humor directed at Dave, the host, is a key element of the show's entertainment value.

💡Guests

In the context of a talk show, 'guests' are individuals invited by the host to participate in the program, contributing to the discussions and adding variety to the content. The script mentions several guests by name, indicating their importance to the show and their relationship with Dave.

💡Humor

Humor is a form of entertainment that involves the use of wit, satire, or irony to provoke laughter or amusement. The script is filled with humorous remarks directed at Dave and other guests, showcasing the comedic nature of the segment.

💡Dave

'Dave' refers to the host of the talk show, presumably David Letterman given the context of the script. He is the central figure to whom the 'Top 10 List' is addressed, making him a key part of the video's theme and content.

💡Geographically Convenient

The term 'geographically convenient' refers to a location that is easy to reach or close to the point of reference. In the script, Alec Baldwin uses this phrase to humorously thank Dave for the proximity of his talk show to Baldwin's home.

💡Cologne

Cologne is a type of fragrance that is applied to the skin. In the script, Barbara Walters humorously compares Dave's cologne to that of Muammar Gaddafi, using hyperbole to create a comedic effect.

💡Plastic Surgery

Plastic surgery refers to a medical procedure that alters or reconstructs parts of the body, often for cosmetic reasons. Steve Martin's mention of 'extensive plastic surgery' in the script is used humorously to imply that his appearance has changed significantly.

💡Comedy

Comedy is a genre of entertainment that is intended to make people laugh. The script frequently references comedy, with several guests making jokes about Dave's role in the comedy world and their own contributions to it.

💡Series Finale

A 'series finale' is the final episode of a television series. Julia Louis Dreyfus' reference to a 'hugely disappointing series finale' is a humorous jab at the end of a show, implying that it did not meet expectations.

💡Over Actor

An 'over actor' is a term used to describe someone who is overly dramatic or exaggerated in their acting. Jim Carrey's comment about Dave being an 'over actor' is a playful jab at Dave's performance style on the show.

💡Debt

In the context of the script, 'debt' is used metaphorically by Bill Murray to express a sense of gratitude or obligation to Dave, suggesting that he could never fully repay Dave for the opportunities given to him.

Highlights

Alec Baldwin thanks Dave for his geographically convenient talk show.

Barbara Walters humorously notes that Dave shares the same cologne with Muammar Gaddafi.

Steve Martin jokes about his extensive plastic surgery being both necessary and a mistake.

Jerry Seinfeld expresses uncertainty about what he'll do when Dave goes off the air, humorously followed by Dave's reassurance.

Jim Carrey playfully critiques Dave as an overactor.

Chris Rock expresses relief that Dave's show is being given to another white guy, with Dave humorously denying involvement.

Julia Louis-Dreyfus sarcastically thanks Dave for letting her be part of another disappointing series finale.

Peyton Manning humorously compares his role in comedy to Dave's, saying it doesn't make sense.

Tina Fey thanks Dave for proving that men can be funny, a playful compliment.

Bill Murray humorously addresses his debt to Dave, with a twist ending that it's the Late Show staff he owes.

The list is presented as a farewell to Dave, highlighting the contributions of his guests.

Each guest provides a unique and humorous insight into their relationship with Dave.

The top 10 list format allows for a light-hearted roast of Dave by his celebrity friends.

The humor in the list ranges from self-deprecating to playful jabs at Dave.

Dave's responses to the list show his quick wit and ability to handle the jokes.

The list serves as a testament to the camaraderie and humor shared among the late-night talk show community.

The finale of the list ends on a note of gratitude to the Late Show staff and audience.

Transcripts

play00:00

i think this is a a pretty good list considering  it's our last list and uh uh the category top 10  

play00:06

things i've always wanted to say to dave  ah yeah now listen to this presenting  

play00:12

tonight's top 10 list 10 frequent late  show guests and good friends of ours

play00:20

once again top 10 things  

play00:24

and let me just thank them in advance i  appreciate their time their talents and  

play00:28

their generosity top 10 things i've always  wanted to say to dave number 10 alec baldwin

play00:37

of all the talk shows yours is most geographically  convenient to my home thank you Alec thank you

play00:49

number nine barbara walters  

play00:53

dave did you know that you wear the same cologne  as muammar gaddafi yes yes barbara i do know that

play01:08

number eight steve martin your extensive  plastic surgery was a necessity and a mistake

play01:25

number seven jerry seinfeld dave i have no  idea what i'll do when you go off the air  

play01:32

you know i just thought of something i'll be fine

play01:38

thank you jerry it's very nice here

play01:45

and i think jerry may have a benefit later

play01:53

number six jim carrey honestly dave i've  always found you to be a bit of an over actor

play02:15

number five chris rock

play02:20

i'm just glad your show is  being given to another white guy

play02:35

you know i had nothing to do with that

play02:39

uh number four julia louis dreyfus

play02:44

thanks for letting me take part in  another hugely disappointing series finale

play03:08

i had nothing to do with that either

play03:12

number three peyton manning dave you  are the comedy what i am to comedy

play03:23

it doesn't make any sense

play03:27

oh my god

play03:31

number two tina fey thanks for  finally proving men can be funny

play03:46

i like that

play03:50

uh things i've always wanted to say  to dave number one bill murray ladies

play04:04

dave i'll never have the money i owe you oh  no it's our friends here at the late show  

play04:14

thank you everybody we'll be right back folks

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Late ShowCelebrity SkitHumorRoastDave LettermanTop 10 ListComedyTV ShowGuestsEntertainment