Creating Your Identity Through the Method Acting Approach | Greg Bryk | TEDxQueensU

Summary

In this inspiring TEDx talk, the speaker reflects on the pivotal moments of self-discovery during university life and the transformative power of embracing one's identity as a creator. He shares his personal journey from playing football to acting, and the profound realization that led him to live a life of risk and adventure. The speaker encourages the audience to envision their ideal life, write it down, and actively become the person who can fulfill that vision, emphasizing the importance of creating one's own story before life's inevitable end.

Takeaways

• 🏠 The speaker feels a strong sense of familiarity and comfort at the university, akin to returning home after a long time.
• 🌟 The transition to adulthood and the future is both exciting and terrifying because of its uncertainty and unknown challenges.
• 🪞 Instead of asking 'Who am I?'—a question rooted in the past—people should ask 'Who do I want to be?', focusing on creating their future self.
• 🎭 The speaker shares a personal story of realizing they were living a life based on others' expectations and how they discovered their passion for acting.
• ⚖️ The speaker initially followed a path expected by others (becoming a lawyer) before discovering their true passion in acting, leading them to redefine their life.
• 🎓 A university drama professor helped the speaker see themselves as an artist, which was a pivotal moment in their journey to self-discovery.
• 🎬 The speaker emphasizes that life should be lived as a creative act, where one writes their own story and actively becomes the person they aspire to be.
• 💀 A powerful experience in a theater coffin led the speaker to realize the finality of life and the importance of living a life true to oneself, not just fulfilling others' expectations.
• 🚀 The speaker advocates for embracing risk, adventure, and self-discovery in life, rather than being confined by societal expectations.
• 📝 The speaker encourages the audience to envision their ideal life, write it down, and take actionable steps to become the person who can live that life.

Q & A

What is the speaker's main message in the speech?

The speaker's main message is to encourage individuals to take control of their lives by asking 'Who do I want to be?' rather than 'Who am I?' and to actively create and live the life they envision, rather than living by the expectations of others.

Why does the speaker advise against asking 'Who am I?'?

The speaker advises against asking 'Who am I?' because it is a question that ties you to the past, defined by others' expectations and perceptions. Instead, asking 'Who do I want to be?' allows for personal growth and creation of your own identity.

What significance does the speaker place on the concept of 'home' in the speech?

The speaker uses the concept of 'home' metaphorically to describe a place of comfort and familiarity that one leaves behind but still feels connected to. This symbolizes the personal journey and growth one undergoes after stepping out of their comfort zone.

How does the speaker's experience at university influence their perspective on life?

The speaker's university experience, including moments of self-reflection and an encounter with a professor who saw potential in them, was pivotal in shaping their perspective on life. It helped them realize the importance of creating their own path rather than following others' expectations.

What role does the speaker’s experience with acting play in their personal development?

Acting played a crucial role in the speaker’s personal development by allowing them to explore different identities and experiences, ultimately helping them discover who they wanted to be and how to live a life true to themselves.

Why did the speaker decide to quit playing football and pursue acting?

The speaker decided to quit playing football and pursue acting after a professor recognized their potential as an artist and actor. This opportunity allowed the speaker to explore a new path that felt more aligned with their true self.

What is the significance of the coffin scene in the speaker's story?

The coffin scene is significant because it represents the speaker’s confrontation with mortality and the realization that their life belongs to them alone. It symbolizes the decision to live a life of their own choosing, free from the expectations of others.

How did the character Jeremy Danvers influence the speaker's life?

The character Jeremy Danvers influenced the speaker by embodying qualities of strength, vulnerability, and integrity that the speaker admired and aspired to. The process of preparing for this role led the speaker to work on personal growth and become a better version of themselves.

What advice does the speaker give to the audience regarding their future?

The speaker advises the audience to get in front of a mirror, silence external voices, and ask themselves 'Who do I want to be?' They should then write down their vision for their life and take active steps to become the person who can live that life.

What does the speaker mean by saying 'all our stories are going to end in the same place'?

By saying 'all our stories are going to end in the same place,' the speaker is referring to the inevitability of death. This underscores the importance of living a life true to oneself, filling it with meaningful experiences and personal growth before it ends.

Outlines

00:00

🏡 Returning to a Familiar Place

The speaker expresses the feeling of returning to a place that feels like home, though it's been a long time since they were last there. They reflect on the significance of being at the university, likening it to the beginning of adult life. The speaker talks about the excitement and uncertainty of the future, the daunting question of 'Who am I?', and their own past experiences grappling with this question during their university days. They emphasize the importance of not fixating on self-criticism but instead asking, 'Who do I want to be?'

05:02

🎭 Discovering the Artist Within

The speaker recounts their experience taking a playwriting class, where a professor, Fred, saw artistic potential in them that they hadn't recognized. This professor's unique concept for a production of *Hamlet*—focused on identity and the mutable self—gave the speaker a chance to explore acting. This transformative experience led the speaker to leave behind their football career to pursue acting, a decision that was pivotal in their personal journey of self-discovery and creativity.

10:06

🎬 A New Path and Personal Transformation

The speaker describes how they immersed themselves in acting, moving to New York to study at a prestigious acting school. They explore the transformative power of the 'method' approach, which allows actors to deeply embody characters. This method became central to their life, though it also brought challenges, especially in balancing their identity with the roles they played. As they aged, they encountered a character that inspired them to work on themselves, leading to personal growth and fulfillment, both in their career and personal life.

15:07

📝 Becoming the Author of Your Own Life

The speaker concludes with a powerful message about self-empowerment and creativity. They encourage the audience to take control of their lives by envisioning the person they want to become and actively working towards that vision. By writing out their goals and taking steps to achieve them, individuals can craft a life that is uniquely theirs, filling it with the adventures and experiences they desire. The speaker emphasizes the importance of this journey, reminding the audience that life is finite, and the greatest tragedy would be not living it to its fullest potential.

Keywords

💡Identity

Identity refers to the understanding of who a person is, including their beliefs, values, and self-perception. In the video, the speaker explores the concept of identity through the question 'Who am I?', a question many people ask at pivotal moments in life. The speaker ultimately encourages the audience to shift from asking 'Who am I?' to 'Who do I want to be?', emphasizing the importance of creating one's identity rather than merely defining it based on past experiences or others' expectations.

💡Mirror

The mirror serves as a metaphor for self-reflection and the examination of one's life and identity. The speaker mentions looking into the mirror and asking 'Who am I?', symbolizing a moment of deep introspection. This act of looking in the mirror represents the critical self-assessment that many face when trying to understand their true selves, separate from external influences.

💡Expectation

Expectations refer to the preconceived notions and pressures placed on an individual by society, family, or peers. In the video, the speaker discusses how they were initially living according to the expectations of others, including pursuing a career in law because of family influences. The narrative shows how breaking free from these expectations was necessary for the speaker to discover their true passion and identity.

💡Creativity

Creativity is the act of bringing something new into existence, whether it's an idea, a piece of art, or a way of living. The speaker encourages the audience to think like artists and creators, focusing on 'Who do I want to be?' rather than limiting themselves with rigid definitions. This creative mindset allows for a dynamic and evolving identity, shaped by personal aspirations rather than external labels.

💡Risk

Risk involves taking actions that are uncertain and potentially dangerous but also offer the possibility of significant rewards. The speaker emphasizes the importance of embracing risk as part of a fulfilling life, noting that deciding to leave a safe, expected path (such as a career in law) for the uncertainty of acting was a pivotal moment in their journey. This willingness to take risks led to personal growth and the discovery of a more authentic self.

💡Adventure

Adventure signifies an exciting and challenging journey, often involving the exploration of unknown territories. The speaker advocates for living a life of adventure, filled with risks, challenges, and the pursuit of one's dreams. This concept is central to the idea of crafting one's identity through experiences and actively shaping the course of one's life rather than passively accepting it.

💡Self-Creation

Self-creation is the process of consciously shaping one's identity and life according to personal values and goals. The speaker introduces this concept by contrasting it with the idea of being defined by others. By asking 'Who do I want to be?' and taking deliberate steps to become that person, the speaker illustrates how individuals can actively create their own identities rather than passively accepting predefined roles.

💡Mortality

Mortality refers to the awareness of one's finite existence and the inevitability of death. The speaker confronts mortality during a pivotal moment in their acting career when they lie in a coffin to understand the theme of death in the play 'Hamlet'. This experience deepens their understanding of life’s brevity, motivating them to live a life true to themselves, free from the expectations of others.

💡Transformation

Transformation involves a significant change in one's character, outlook, or circumstances. In the video, the speaker undergoes a transformation from a person living according to others' expectations to someone who actively shapes their own identity and life. This transformation is highlighted by the speaker’s shift from pursuing law to embracing acting, illustrating the profound changes that can occur when one follows their true passions.

💡Authenticity

Authenticity is the quality of being genuine and true to oneself. The speaker advocates for living an authentic life, one that is not merely a reflection of others' expectations but is instead aligned with personal desires and values. This theme is central to the speaker's message, as they encourage the audience to write and live their own stories, thereby ensuring that their life is a true expression of who they really are.

Highlights

The speaker emphasizes the sense of returning home, even if it's a place they left long ago, creating a connection between the past and present.

The speaker discusses the excitement and fear of facing an uncertain future, a common experience for students on the brink of adulthood.

The speaker challenges the audience to think creatively by asking 'Who do I want to be?' rather than 'Who am I?', encouraging a forward-looking mindset.

The speaker shares a personal story about shaving their head and mailing the hair to their mother as a dramatic response to existential questioning.

The concept of living according to the expectations of others is explored, highlighting the tension between personal desires and external pressures.

A turning point occurs when the speaker is encouraged to see themselves as an artist and actor, leading to a transformative experience in a play.

The speaker recounts a pivotal moment when they were cast as Hamlet, marking the beginning of their journey into acting and self-discovery.

The metaphor of the coffin, representing mortality and personal identity, serves as a powerful realization for the speaker about living authentically.

The speaker decides to live a life filled with risk, adventure, and personal ownership, inspired by their experience with Hamlet.

The move to New York City to pursue acting symbolizes the speaker's commitment to their newfound identity and passion.

The speaker describes their journey through various acting roles as a continuous process of becoming new characters, reflecting a fluid sense of self.

A specific role, Jeremy Danvers, leads the speaker to personal growth, including therapy and volunteering, as they strive to embody the character's traits.

The end of the acting role leaves the speaker questioning their identity again, illustrating the ongoing challenge of self-discovery.

The speaker integrates lessons from self-help teachings and acting techniques to create and live out their ideal life, emphasizing the power of personal choice.

The final message encourages the audience to take control of their own story, envisioning and actively becoming the person they want to be, before life ends in 'a wooden box for one.'

Transcripts

this is nice to be here it feels a

little bit like home a home that I went

away from from a long time but home

nonetheless and this is an exciting time

for you University Wow I vaguely

remember that shameless plug for TEDx it

feels like square one of the adult life

you're about to build and it's exciting

just outside that door feels like the

future is waiting for you and it's a big

future and it's dark and it's thrilling

and it's terrifying because it's

uncertain and it's unknown and I'm sure

more than one of you have woken up in

the middle of the night and you've

walked to the bathroom you flip on the

light and you've stared yourself in the

mirror and you had a good long look and

you asked yourself Who am I Who am I

that's a big question that's a very

that's a very heavy and dangerous

question that's like existential time

when I was in university I stood in

front of that mirror and I looked at

myself and I said Who am I and I picked

up a razor blade that was sitting beside

the sink and I started to shave my head

and then I mailed that hair to my mother

I have never been shy of the great

dramatic gesture but it is a big

question Who am I in most of you be

prone to ask that question at this time

in your life but today I'm going to say

don't ask that question

you see Who am I is the question of the

critic now it's the historian it's the

mapmaker it feels kind of like you're

taking out a sharpie and you're drawing

an outline of your body and it's

permanent and you can't escape it and it

comes from instead I want you to think

like an artist I want you to think like

a creator I want you to ask the question

who do I want to be see that question

start something in yourself I'm a

movement forward a movement away but

also towards the becoming I came to

Queens in 1990 Wow as I know never cried

the TED talk I came from Winnipeg

Manitoba and I came to Queens University

to study English literature and to play

football for the golden gales and I came

dressed in borrow'd robes not not

literally but I came as many of you do

dress any expectations of my parents and

my friends and my family my teachers in

the community and everyone that loved me

and raised me in wonder what was best

for me but what they thought was best

for me was usually what they knew and

what they had experienced the map they'd

already drawn and that me that I saw

when I looked in the mirror was really

just a reflection of all of those eyes

as they'd watched me grow up seeing me

not necessarily how I was but as they

wanted to see me after I graduated with

a degree in English literature I was

going to become a lawyer go to law

school my dad was a lawyer I grew up

with lawyers that was a life that I

could see because I kind of lived it

and when we're growing up we have

certain skills that are encouraged in

others that are left to fade away

particularly the skills that are

encouraged or if they fit the narrative

the people that are writing the story

for you because that's really what

you're doing at this stage in your life

you're acting in a story that someone

else has written for you

the other big thing about about coming

to a place like this is you you know you

come with what they think is best but

you also come with the missed

opportunities and the regrets and the

dreams unlived of those people that sent

you forward I came to play football at

Queen's and I loved playing football a

very good football player it was a very

good program but I also knew that one of

my dad's great regrets in life was that

he didn't get to play university

football even though he was an excellent

player because he had to go work in a

butcher shop every day after class to

pay for his education and I can remember

seeing him at Richardson Stadium the

first practice that I had as a freshman

and him watching me in this looked on

his face and I realized that I was not

just the hero of my sort but I was the

hero of his story and how important my

life was to him and it was touching but

I realized that it wasn't my own life

yet in third year the fates interceded

and I say fates because I'm a flake and

even if I denied that everybody who

knows me would just say Greg no you are

a flake but the fates interceded and I

was taking a playwriting class as an

elective with a wonderful professor of

drama fred urine RIA and Fred gave me an

extraordinary gift because he put up

another mirror in front of me and he saw

something in me that I had never seen in

myself

he saw an artist and he saw an actor and

the gift that Fred gave me is he allowed

me to see myself in that at the end of

my third year he approached me and he

said Greg I'm going to be putting on a

production of

Hamlet next year and it's a very

interesting concept he had it sort of

really really honed in on the question

of identity and the mutable self and his

concept was that all the different

actors in the cast would play Hamlet at

various stages in his life and we would

have masks and we'd transfer identity

and one act would become Hamlet and then

someone else and it was really a

fascinating idea the mutable

self-identity as fluid and he said would

you like to audition for this play and I

looked at him and I said yes and I was

saying yes to him but I was also saying

yes to the me that I could now see in

his eyes

so third year ended talked to my

football coaches said gentlemen we won

the Vania Cup but I think I'm going to

try a new adventure I started

auditioning for this playing fourth it

was quite a long process three weeks

different actors would be reading the

part different stage that the plague

chemistry reads character reads and it

sort of went on in that way and it was

fascinating to watch the different

actors becoming Hamlet for just a moment

and at the end of about three weeks Fred

called me aside at the end of one of

these audition rehearsals he said Greg

I've had this idea for this play in my

head since I was a young man in theater

school myself and this is probably going

to be my last Hamlet but I ever direct

I'd like to scrap my concept and I'd

like you to play Hamlet alone I think he

felt that it was important for me

somehow this extraordinary is young I

there Ginoza eternally confident what

could go wrong the same night that I was

cast as Hamlet I kissed the woman who

has now been my wife of over 20 years

for the first time

the next month for the next month

I was racing from rehearsals at this

theater to her little third-floor

walk-up on Aberdeen and I was falling in

love with acting and falling in love

with her and there was this great tumult

in me and I was running so fast away

from what I was but I didn't know where

I was running yet but I was just I was

just going and I also had to play Hamlet

I knew nothing about acting at all zero

but I I knew that the play had something

to do with mortality and identity to be

or not to be that is the question Who am

I

big questions I thought I got to get

inside this somehow I have to understand

this in my body now the set for that

play was was very simple bare stage very

little costuming and on the stage there

was a riser and in that riser there was

a coffin built into the stage that could

come out in the coffin would stand in

his Claudius his throne and it also be

the the coffin for the gravedigger with

York's skull and I thought I'm really

afraid of death

I was afraid of death and I'm afraid to

death now and I'm sure that will

continue right up until the last breath

but I wanted to confront that I wanted

to understand what what's he struggling

with so I snuck into the theater one

night with a little pocket watch that my

grandfather had given me and I snuck up

onto the stage and I lifted the lid of

the coffin I got inside and I closed the

lid and I put the watch beside my ear

tick tick tick tick thumb this little

watch on my heart just filling this

coffin another was lying there through

the night I had two really meaningful

realizations for myself one that that

tick tick tick that beat beat that that

drum beat that marching army would end

in silence

and I would end in a box and the second

realization that became very physically

obvious in that moment is that box is

built for one there would be no room for

all the expectations of all the people

that had looked at me in a certain way

that had ideas from my life my life

would fit in there and I decided in that

moment that I was going to live a life

of a risk and heartbreak and adventure

and glory and failure and he was going

to be mine I popped out of that coffin

and I I did Hamlet and I decided I want

to be an actor and what does it act to

do I had no idea but I'm going to

immerse myself I'm gonna become an actor

so my Daniele and I we packed a little

tiny suitcase we hopped on a train we

went to New York City because if you

want to be an actor you go to New York

City in my mind that's what I knew I

didn't know much but I knew acting was

happening there so I go I get into this

amazing school Circle in the Square

Theatre School on Broadway school

Benicio del Toro went there Philip

Seymour Hoffman amazing curriculum is a

real balance between classical acting

and some of the techniques of the method

now the method is very misunderstood the

method is just really a way of becoming

the character in the circumstances so

truthfully that you live and experience

the character that the author is created

is a wonderful gift to give yourself in

service of the words the idea of someone

else to literally become someone new

because an author imagined it so that

was my life learning to act role to role

becoming someone new every time which

was exciting for me probably really

frustrating for my wife and kids but

that was it you move beyond each time

there'd be a new author and a new

character and a new me and then in

between those moments there'd be this

emptiness because I was living a

creative life but I wasn't creating my

life and I was stepping forward in the

dark and that tomorrow and tomorrow and

tomorrow out there into a future that I

didn't know where I was going to know

what shape I should take that happened

for the next couple of decades there was

Kies there was Lowe's good times and bad

and then one character appeared on the

her

right about the time I was turning 40

and I was having a big Who am I mom and

there's a character named Jeremy Danvers

in a series only come bitten based on a

very successful series of novels by

woman named Kelly Armstrong and and I

wanted this character it was the pack

alpha of a family of werewolves but he

was in my mind's eye the way he was

written he was the perfect embodiment of

masculinity he was strong and decisive

but he was also vulnerable and he could

compromise and he could listen I wanted

that part but I got that part and then I

looked at myself in the man I realized I

don't measure up the Who am I is not

worthy for that character so I went to

work on myself I mean beside the obvious

grow your hair grow your beard learn to

throw an axe I worked with a therapist

who specialized in male energy and anger

to deal with issues of myself I learned

to ground myself I meditated I

reinvested myself into my marriage into

my kids

I studied crawled Maga I boxed I

realized that this character was a great

mentor so I started to volunteer with

at-risk young men in the inner city of

Toronto teaching them acting in the

pursuit of this vision that this author

had I changed and I became someone

better I became someone fuller and my

life was fuller for the experience and

then of course like all shows it ended I

felt slightly lost Who am I I had no

answer I still had characteristics of

this character that I so loved but I

didn't have the form to live him in you

know that I had this thought I've been

an actor for so long I've in and out of

characters in the service of the author

the words are on the page that's my

guidepost I do everything I have to do

to become that person I become that

person through the actions I take the

repeated actions you practice them and

practice them and practice them until

you are them and you know I've been

gifted in my lost moments with the great

great teachings of Tony Robbins and Jack

Canfield and Jim Rohn and lists and

visualization and intention and all of

those tools and I just needed to bring

them together in some great artistic

venture because that's my bent

as well why can't I just write to life I

want to leave and decide what character

would have to the air of that story and

then just go become that nun I close my

eyes and I start to think like what

would my dream life look like oppa the

adventure that I would want to lead look

like and who is the guy to live that

life I started doing it I started doing

that it was the most amazing artistic

endeavor of my life writing me and then

becoming me write the part and then act

like a method actor and become it and

you have this amazing choice you have

this amazing ability to be an artist and

to be a creator and that doesn't mean

you have to be an actor that doesn't me

have to go into a life of the yards it

means you have to create your life and

empower yourself because I'm gonna tell

you something that tick tick tick of the

clock and this thumb thumb thumb ball of

your heart is now now now now and it

will end so today I want you to go home

and I want you to get in front of a

mirror and get real still and very quiet

and close your eyes and drown out all

the voices that you've heard growing up

that have told you who you should be and

close your eyes and you open your

imagination and ask yourself who do I

want to be and you go and you get a pen

and you start writing out everything

that comes to you trust your heart trust

your gut write it down write it down

write it down and then once you have

this story these broad strokes this

outline who is the person that would

best serve that hero's journey and then

take active steps to become that person

because you have that power you have

that power and all our stories are going

to end in the same place and it is a

wooden box for one

and it would be the greatest tragedy of

your life if you did not fill that box

with the hero of the greatest adventure

that you could imagine thank you

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

you