How to become DETACHED

Summary

In this insightful video, the speaker delves into the transformative power of detachment, a concept often misunderstood as emotional indifference. They clarify that detachment is about controlling emotions rather than being unaffected by them. The speaker guides viewers through a self-awareness journey to identify and manage unhealthy attachments, offering practical steps like understanding impermanence, seeking balance, and practicing acceptance. By embracing detachment, one can navigate life's complexities with a clear mind, ultimately living a more fulfilling and balanced life.

Takeaways

• 🧘 Detachment is about controlling your emotions rather than eliminating them, which differs from indifference.
• 💡 Healthy attachment is essential for human relationships, while unhealthy attachment stems from ego and desperation.
• 🔄 Understanding impermanence can help with detachment, as everything is transient and subject to change.
• 🤔 Self-awareness is crucial for identifying and addressing the root causes of unhealthy attachments.
• 📝 Journaling can aid in self-reflection to uncover the reasons behind attachments and insecurities.
• 💼 Unhealthy attachments often arise from unfulfilled needs or insecurities; addressing these can reduce attachment.
• 🏋️‍♂️ Balancing different areas of life can alleviate the feelings of attachment that stem from life imbalances.
• 🕊️ Practicing acceptance of life's difficulties and emotions can ease the struggle with attachment.
• 🌳 Seeking out new experiences can broaden perspective and reduce the intensity of attachments.
• 🚫 Setting boundaries with oneself can prevent falling into old patterns of attachment.
• 🏡 Making oneself the 'home' for fulfilling personal needs is key to reducing reliance on external sources for fulfillment.

Q & A

What is the main topic of the video script?

The main topic of the video script is 'Detachment', discussing its concept, importance, and how to practice it for personal growth and transformation.

Why does the speaker consider 'Detachment' a powerful concept?

The speaker considers 'Detachment' powerful because it has the potential to transform one's life and enable living a dream life by taking control of emotions instead of letting them control you.

What does the speaker mean by 'naturally detached person'?

A 'naturally detached person' refers to someone who appears to have an innate ability to control their emotions and not be overly affected by external situations or relationships.

What is the first step the speaker suggests to master the art of Detachment?

The first step suggested by the speaker is understanding that everything is impermanent, which is a core concept in Hinduism and Buddhism, implying that everything is constantly changing and transient.

Why is self-awareness important in the process of Detachment?

Self-awareness is important because it allows you to identify your biggest attachments, understand why you are attached to certain things, and start the process of addressing these attachments in a healthier manner.

What does the speaker mean by 'unhealthy attachment'?

Unhealthy attachment refers to a state where one is excessively dependent on or obsessed with someone or something, leading to emotional turmoil and a lack of control over one's emotions and thoughts.

How can fulfilling one's own needs help in reducing unhealthy attachments?

Fulfilling one's own needs helps in reducing unhealthy attachments by creating a sense of self-sufficiency and balance, preventing the development of coping mechanisms that rely on external factors for fulfillment.

What is the significance of seeking out new experiences according to the speaker?

Seeking out new experiences is significant as it broadens one's perspective on life, providing more data for the brain to process and deal with problems or attachments, leading to a more detached and wise approach to life.

Why is setting boundaries important in the practice of Detachment?

Setting boundaries is important because it helps to establish limits on what one can and cannot tolerate, preventing a downward spiral into unhealthy behaviors and attachments, and providing a way to bounce back during low periods.

What is the final step the speaker suggests for mastering Detachment?

The final step suggested by the speaker is making oneself the 'home', meaning becoming capable of fulfilling one's own needs and not relying on external sources for fulfillment, which leads to a balanced and detached mindset.

Outlines

00:00

🧘 Introduction to Detachment

The speaker introduces the concept of detachment, explaining it as a powerful tool for life transformation. They emphasize that detachment doesn't mean the absence of emotions but rather the control over them. The speaker also clarifies misconceptions about detachment and attachment, highlighting the importance of distinguishing between healthy and unhealthy attachments. They stress the negative impacts of unhealthy attachment, such as emotional turmoil and the inability to attract a desired life. The session begins with a deep breath exercise, encouraging viewers to prepare for a journey into a detached and unbothered era.

05:02

🔍 Understanding and Identifying Attachments

The speaker delves into the process of identifying one's attachments, which are often rooted in unfulfilled needs or insecurities. They suggest self-awareness as a crucial step towards detachment, recommending viewers to list their attachments and rate them. By understanding the root cause of these attachments, individuals can address the underlying issues more effectively. The speaker shares a personal example of their attachment to work due to financial insecurity and how they've started to manage it through investments and seeking help, illustrating the process of transforming unhealthy attachments into healthier perspectives.

10:02

🌟 The Power of Perspective and Balance

The speaker discusses the importance of zooming out to gain perspective on situations that cause attachment, using the '5-year rule' to determine the long-term significance of current obsessions. They also advocate for becoming a solution-focused person, concentrating on controllable aspects of life rather than lamenting the uncontrollable. The speaker emphasizes the value of living in the present moment to avoid the suffering caused by dwelling on the past or future. They suggest hobbies, meditation, and journaling as tools to stay present and to break free from unhealthy attachments.

15:03

🛡 Acceptance and Comfort with Discomfort

Acceptance of life's difficulties and emotions is presented as a key component of detachment. The speaker encourages developing practices to handle strong emotions, such as deep breathing or other calming activities. They also introduce the concept of becoming comfortable with discomfort, suggesting that actively seeking out challenges helps to build resilience and reduces the impact of adversity. This approach trains the brain to handle difficult situations more effectively, thus diminishing the hold of attachments.

20:05

🚧 Setting Boundaries and Seeking Experiences

The speaker talks about setting personal boundaries as a tool for maintaining detachment, using the example of work-life balance and how gradually adjusting boundaries can improve mental health. They also stress the importance of seeking new experiences to gain wisdom and perspective, which can lessen the intensity of attachments. New experiences provide a broader understanding of life, making problems and attachments seem less overwhelming. The speaker encourages travel, meeting new people, and gaining varied interactions to enrich one's life experience.

🏡 Becoming One's Own Fulfillment

In the final paragraph, the speaker emphasizes the importance of self-reliance in fulfilling one's needs, which is central to achieving detachment. They argue that by fulfilling our own needs, we operate from a place of abundance rather than lack, attracting more fulfillment into our lives. The speaker advises focusing on self-fulfillment to become a balanced individual who seeks relationships and experiences for enrichment rather than out of necessity. This approach, they suggest, embodies and attracts a fulfilled life.

Keywords

💡Detachment

Detachment, in the context of the video, refers to the ability to control one's emotions rather than being controlled by them. It is not about being emotionless or unattached to anything but rather maintaining a healthy distance from things that could potentially lead to negative emotions or unhealthy obsessions. The video emphasizes that detachment is a powerful concept that can transform one's life by allowing individuals to live their dream life without being consumed by their emotions or attachments.

💡Emotions

Emotions are central to the discussion of detachment in the video. They are defined as the complex feelings that individuals experience in response to different situations. The video clarifies that detachment does not mean the absence of emotions but rather the ability to manage them effectively. It highlights the importance of not letting emotions dictate one's actions or decisions.

💡Unhealthy Attachment

Unhealthy attachment is a key concept in the video, describing a state where individuals become overly consumed by their feelings or obsessions towards someone or something. This can lead to emotional turmoil and a lack of control over one's thoughts and actions. The video uses the example of being attached to a person who does not reciprocate feelings, causing distress and the desire to become detached.

💡Self-Awareness

Self-awareness is presented as a crucial step towards mastering detachment. It involves recognizing and understanding one's own emotions, attachments, and the reasons behind them. The video suggests that by identifying the biggest attachments in one's life and questioning why they exist, individuals can gain a better perspective and start to address the root causes of unhealthy attachments.

💡Impermanence

Impermanence is a philosophical concept from Hinduism and Buddhism that everything is transient and constantly changing. The video uses this concept to encourage viewers to understand that attachment to things that are always changing is futile. Recognizing impermanence can help in letting go of attachments and focusing on the present.

💡Solution-Focused

Becoming solution-focused is a strategy highlighted in the video to achieve detachment. It involves concentrating on what one can control and not dwelling on uncontrollable factors. The video suggests that by shifting from a victim mentality to a solution-focused mindset, individuals can reduce their feelings of attachment and obsession over things beyond their control.

💡Present Moment

Focusing on the present moment is a central theme in the video for overcoming attachment. It is the idea of being fully engaged in the current activity or experience, rather than being lost in thoughts of the past or future. The video suggests that by practicing mindfulness and presence, individuals can reduce their attachment to past events or future anxieties.

💡Acceptance

Acceptance is the act of embracing the reality of life's challenges and emotions without resistance. The video discusses the importance of accepting difficult situations and emotions as a natural part of life. By practicing acceptance, individuals can better manage their reactions to these challenges and reduce the intensity of their attachments.

💡Discomfort

Becoming comfortable with discomfort is a concept introduced in the video as a means to grow and develop resilience. It means seeking out and embracing challenging experiences that push one's boundaries. The video suggests that by training the brain to tolerate discomfort, individuals can build strength to face adversity without becoming attached to outcomes.

💡Boundaries

Setting boundaries is a practice recommended in the video to maintain detachment. Boundaries are limits that individuals set for themselves to define what they can and cannot tolerate. The video uses the example of setting a work stop time to illustrate how boundaries can help prevent falling back into old patterns of unhealthy attachment.

💡New Experiences

Seeking out new experiences is presented as a way to gain perspective and reduce attachment in the video. New experiences provide a broader understanding of life and help individuals see that problems and attachments are not as significant as they may initially seem. The video encourages viewers to travel, meet new people, and engage in diverse interactions to enrich their life experiences.

💡Fulfillment

Fulfillment, in the context of the video, refers to the state of being satisfied and feeling a sense of completeness. The video emphasizes the importance of self-fulfillment, where individuals learn to meet their own needs and desires. This self-reliance reduces the tendency to form unhealthy attachments to external sources for happiness or security.

Highlights

Introduction to the concept of Detachment and its potential to transform one's life.

Detachment does not equate to the absence of emotions or attachments, but rather controlling emotions instead of being controlled by them.

The distinction between healthy and unhealthy attachment and their impact on human relationships.

Unhealthy attachment often stems from unfulfilled needs or insecurities.

The importance of understanding that everything is impermanent as a step towards detachment.

Self-awareness as a crucial step in identifying and addressing one's biggest attachments.

The process of questioning and journaling to understand the root of one's attachments.

Finding healthy ways to fulfill needs or address insecurities to overcome unhealthy attachments.

The significance of creating balance in life to reduce unhealthy attachments.

Using the '5-year perspective' technique to evaluate the importance of current obsessions.

Becoming a solution-focused person to reduce the victim mentality and attachment.

Focusing on the present moment as a method to combat attachment and increase mindfulness.

Practicing acceptance of difficult situations and emotions as part of life's journey.

Becoming comfortable with discomfort to strengthen resilience against adversity.

Setting personal boundaries to maintain a healthy detachment and prevent falling into old patterns.

Seeking out new experiences to gain perspective and reduce the intensity of attachments.

Making oneself the 'home' by fulfilling one's own needs to achieve a balanced and fulfilled life.

Transcripts

hello hello my lovelies today we are

going to talk about Detachment now I

have spent the last couple of years

really studying the concept of

Detachment understanding it practicing

it firstly because whenever people meet

me and interact with me I somehow come

across as a naturally detached person

whatever that means and then people seek

advice and they want to know how I do it

but more importantly because I

understand how powerful this concept is

how it has the true potential to

transform your life to take it in any

direction that you want to to truly get

you to live your dream life and that is

why I want to share it with you guys but

before we begin I want you guys to take

a deep breath with

me now go grab a glass of water and a

notebook because you want to take notes

and get ready to enter your detached and

unbothered era first of all let's

understand what Detachment is and what

it is not Detachment does not mean that

you don't have emotions detachment M

does not mean that you don't feel

anything and attachment also does not

mean that you don't get attached to

anything those things would qualify as

in difference in a nutshell Detachment

just means that you control your

emotions and your emotions don't control

you notice that whenever you seek

Detachment right if you are wanting to

get detached it has happened because you

have gone through a period of unhealthy

attachment a period where the thought of

someone or something completely consumes

do and because of that you faced so much

emotional turmoil that you now want to

become detached and you must have

noticed that I said unhealthy attachment

because not all attachment is bad

because attachment forms the core of

Human Relationships right whoever tells

you that love without attachment is pure

and all of that that is not true both

attachment and love are biological

processes that help us bond with other

human being and it's very very important

to make that distinction because when

you are operating from a place of secur

attachment your relationships are stable

the things in your life are well

balanced you are able to attract and

move towards your goals in a healthy way

but when you have an unhealthy

attachment to something you are

operating from a place of ego you are

operating from a place of desperation

and you are operating from a place of

wanting to chase after something and

this basically means that whatever it is

that you're attached to whatever it is

that you have that unhealthy attachment

to is actually controlling you and your

mind and your thought process and you

don't have any control over it so

basically this whole combination what it

does is your ego does not allow you to

let it go because well ego because

you're chasing after it you justify all

of the actions and the behaviors and the

thought process you have along the way

which means you are constantly

gaslighting yourself into ignoring your

intuition and ignoring your rational

part of the brain and because you're

constantly chasing that thing and are

still unable to get it that makes you

desperate and because you become

desperate that leads to negative

emotions like hopelessness shame guilt

embarrassment and all of these are lower

vibrational frequency emotions which

means that you get stuck in a vicious

cycle of feeling unhealthy attachment to

something not being able to fulfill it

and then continuing in this Loop of

negative emotions and these emotions

never let you vibrate at a higher

frequency which means you're not really

able to attract the kind of life that

you want for yourself and that's why we

have to fix it so let's figure out how

you can Master the art of Detachment and

remember that it is a skill and you get

better at it with practice step one is

understanding that everything is

impermanent now this is a core concept

or a core philosophy in both Hinduism

and Buddhism and what it tells us is

that everything in the world including

us including every single atom and cell

in the universe is constantly changing

it is transient and because it's

transient everything will go away one

day it is never going to stay in our

lives forever which makes this entire

concept of getting attached to something

that is constantly changing a very

futile exercise just having this

understanding knowing this in the back

of your head actually helps a lot with

focusing on attachment Detachment and

letting things go the next step is

becoming self-aware and this is the

biggest step because change starts with

awareness okay for this you first want

to Iden ify what your biggest

attachments are uh and it does not have

to be attachments from your whole life

just currently what are the three four

five biggest things that you feel so

desperately attached to and what you can

also do is just write them down and then

have like a scale of 1 to five in front

of them where five is the highest number

of attachment and one is the lowest and

you rank all of them on that scale and

when you look at it up top it will give

you like a perspective a bird's eye view

of what your attachment or like what

area of your life do most of your

attachment ments exist in and why we are

doing this is to understand why we are

attached to these things in the first

place if you start to question yourself

and journaling is a practice that helps

with this if you question yourself why

am I attached to XYZ particular thing

let's say you are attached to this guy

that you have a crush on and you're

constantly obsessing over him and you're

like oh my God why doesn't he like me

back or oh why can't I be with him he's

my soulmate and I just love him so much

why doesn't he love me back now we do

this to figure out why we are attached

to the things that we are attached to

why do we feel this desperate sense of

longing for these things most of our

attachments in life come from some need

that has remained unfulfilled some

insecurity that we have that is not

being fulfilled by any other mean right

so our Obsession our attachment comes

from there so when you do this exercise

you will figure out oh why do I have

this attachment why do I have this

unhealthy attachment it's because of

this need to give you my example I am

extremely attached to my work and it is

like level five attachment so I figured

out I did this exercise and I tried to

figure out why I was doing this and it's

because of this insecurity around money

that I have that if I don't work hard

enough and if I don't continue to work

all of the time I will not have enough

money for Financial Security that need

for Financial Security is actually

fueling this unhealthy attachment that I

have with my work so similarly I want

you guys to figure out what is that

insecurity or that need that is actually

fueling that unhealthy attachment okay

after that basically you want to do a

little bit of an exercise and figure out

how you can actually fulfill that need

or uh quash that insecurity in a healthy

manner so again coming back to the work

example I realized that continuing to

work hard and hard and hard and just

giving my work all of my time is not the

way to actually fulfill that need for

security because there is only so much

time that I have as an individual

there's only so much energy that I have

and it is not a good idea to spend all

of my time working because if I continue

to do that I will create an imbalance in

other areas of my life like my

relationships and when that imbalance

happens it will cause unhealthy

attachments in that area so what is a

healthy way that I can deal with my

obsession with work one way is to invest

my money so that my money is making

money and I don't have to obsess over

work to feel that sense of security and

honestly making Investments has helped

me a lot the second thing that I've

started doing is asking people for help

asking my close people my friends my

family for help whenever I need it

whenever I'm getting overburdened third

thing I've done in this regard is set

boundaries with my clients with my work

so that it is not consuming me all of

the time which is why you will not see

me posting 10 videos in a month because

I have to create that sense of balance I

need to get the best content out to you

guys so in a similar way I basically

need you to figure out whatever it is

your attachment is how can you fulfill

it in a healthy way and the final step

of this self-awareness process is to

create balance in your life seek out

balance in your life the balance that we

just talked

about attachments it's not a constant

thing right it's not like it's always

present in life whenever these periods

happen it happens because there is some

sort of imbalance in life maybe we're

not fulfilled in our career maybe we are

not fulfilled in our relationships maybe

we are not fulfilled in our friendships

maybe we are not giving ourselves enough

time and that imbalance actually leads

to this period of unhealthy attachments

so one of the simplest Solutions is

after you figured out all of these

attachments whatever you have is just to

strive for more balance in your life

whatever area of your life you're not

able to give time to whatever area of

your life feels unfulfilled start giving

it a little more time and when that

balance comes back up when the scal

Tipping in your favor you will

automatically see that all of those

unhealthy attachments start to leave you

okay that was a super super in-depth

point but super important and with that

we move on to the next one which is zoom

out of the situation and take a bird's

eye view of the situation whenever

you're obsessing over something remind

yourself to take a step back and ask

yourself will this matter in 5 years

this is one of my favorite hacks for

beating unhealthy attachments just

asking myself if this will even matter

in 5 years if it's not going to matter

in 5 years does it really make sense

that I'm spending so much of my energy

so much of my thought process on this

thing right now and 99% of things in

life guys will not matter in 5 years

that boy that you're crushing over that

client that you're obsessing over that

thing that your boss said to you that

thing that somebody else said about you

that M Auntie said about you is not

going to matter in 5 years so wasting

your energy wasting your time on it is

just such a pointless thing to do and

this ties back with our point on

impermanence which is like the basis of

Detachment anyways step three become a

solution focused person and this is one

of the easiest ways to become a more

detached person as well and how you do

this is by focusing on the things that

you can control and not just constantly

crying and complaining about the things

that you can't control a lot of people

are stuck in victim mentality which

means that they are constantly about oh

my God why did this happen to me oh my

God why does that person not love me why

did I lose my job why did that person

say this thing to me if you are stuck in

that zone you need to start focusing on

what you can control and not what other

people are doing external circumstances

are rarely ever in our control what is

in our control is our thoughts our

actions and our reactions and once you

start to focus on them it will one take

away your victim mentality it will stop

you from feeling sorry for yourself

constantly and it will make you look at

things objectively and when you look at

things objectively there is very little

scope for Obsession because practicality

the Practical side of the brain wins

step four focus on the present now this

is one of the most difficult things to

do in life because most people are

either stuck thinking about the past

whatever has happened and feeling guilty

shameful horrified or just regretful

about whatever has happened in the past

or they're constantly dreaming about a

future and dreaming is not just a bad

thing but obsessing over your future is

the zone that we don't want to be in

right but most people just are either

there or here actually most people are

in the past few in the future nobody is

in the present right and the present is

the only moment we have it is the only

moment that is real everything else is

imagined and is never going to come back

so again this entire concept of vag and

Hinduism and non attach mment in

Buddhism will tell you that most of the

suffering in our lives is self-created

it's in our head and it's not happening

in reality and that is so so true and

you can fix that by staying in the

present by being present in everything

that you do whether it's sipping a glass

of water or whether it's working on a

project whether it's writing or whether

it is just sitting and meditating

silently being present being in this

moment as much as you can is actually

the solution into attachment and one

other great thing that you can try here

is to pick up a new hobby something that

you are interested in something that

you're passionate about because when

you're doing that thing things like

Pottery cooking art anything that

involves multiple senses you are unable

to focus on anything on the outside and

that keeps you in the present moment for

as long as you're doing that and this is

such a great hack to bring yourself to

the present meditation is of course

another one journaling is the third one

but I say these things multiple times so

I'm not going to get into the depths of

the explanation here step five start

practicing acceptance this again goes

hand inand with the principle of Vaga

with the principle of nonattachment

accepting that difficult situations are

going to come in life accepting that you

have to deal with difficult situations

and also accepting that you have to deal

with difficult emotions it's not just

the difficult situations that make life

difficult it is also the difficult

emotions that come with them that make

life difficult but if you fundamentally

understand the fact that difficult

emotions are a part and parcel of life

that they are going to happen no matter

what it becomes easier to deal with them

because you know that they're already

coming if that makes sense and if you

still feel unprepared whenever these

heavy emotions hit I suggest having a

practice in place that will calm you

down in the moment so something like

taking five deep breaths whenever you

feel these burst of triggering emotions

or negative emotions do a practice like

5 day breaths or drink a glass of water

and then then you decide how to react

and just that little bit of friction in

between can help you out so much I am

not even kidding step six is become

comfortable with

discomfort ah I love this this is such a

beautiful concept because while growth

exists outside of comfort zone I'm sure

you have all heard this quote by now it

has been said to death on every single

self- development channel in the

universe but what does it really mean to

become comfortable with discomfort it

means that you actively seek out things

that are challenging for you things that

make you uncomfortable and when you do

this your brain actually gets trained to

accept tolerate and also Embrace

difficult situations and feelings your

brain is already prepared to handle

these situations you will never feel

overwhelmed in these situations

including feeling you know that

obsessive attachment with something if

you are constantly training your brain

to fall in love with discomfort to

become comfortable with discomfort

you're actually training your brain to

stand very very strong in the face of

any adversity in life and then

attachment becomes a very very small

part of that step seven is to set

boundaries with yourself boundaries are

nothing but limits that you set on what

you can and cannot tolerate and how you

can and cannot behave right and we do

this fundamentally because any practice

including this practice of detachment is

not a linear trajectory linear meaning

line so if you start practicing

Detachment today you might go good for a

week and then suddenly fall back into

your old trap and then you come back up

and this wavy form keeps on going till

you reach a point where you suddenly

feel like oh you know I have become this

person who is very detached so because

it's not like a straight line and

because it's like wavy and has its highs

and lows we want to have a practice of

setting boundaries with ourselves so

that we know that whenever we are in

down in the trenches whenever we are in

that low period we know what our limit

is like right so that that limit can

help us bounce back that limit can help

us come back and that is why boundaries

are so important so that you don't just

continue going in a downward spiral you

know when to hit bottom and come back up

and boundaries help you do that to a

large extent so for example right now I

have an unhealthy attachment to work for

instance and I set a boundary for myself

that I will stop working at 8:00 p.m.

every single day right I set this

boundary for the last 6 months earlier I

used to work till 11:30 12 at night and

I would just shut down and go to sleep

and it was becoming obsessive so then I

decided to set this boundary of stopping

work at 8:00 p.m. in the evening and

what that ended up doing even though

initially I was never able to stick to

that 8:00 p.m. deadline from 11:30 in

the night the deadline came down to 9:30

p.m. and that 2hour difference made such

a huge impact to my stress levels to my

mental health slowly that has shifted

down to 8:30 p.m. so now I'm already at

8:30 p.m. and this is what I mean by the

not linear trajectory right I was not

able to go directly from 11:30 to 8:00

p.m. that would have meant cutting like

4 hours of work time but I have managed

to bring it down to like 8:30 p.m. in

the last 6 months and that is what

setting boundaries does when you have

that mental note when you know that this

is where your cut off is slowly your

brain starts to accept it and not go

beyond it and that is what I want you to

do with whatever attachment you have

right now now we come to step eight

which is seeking out new experiences

constantly older people generally in

life who have more wisdom are also more

detached the older they get the more

detached they become the less they

have to give about other things in life

why does that happen that happens

because their brain has that many years

of experience about life about

interacting with people about how

problems span out about about how

Solutions pan out all of that experience

is there like data in their head and

that is why when new problems arise or

when new attachments arise their brain

has a lot more perspective to take in

and make that judgment and that

attachment that problem does not seem as

big so obviously one way to do this is

to grow old and by the time you're 90

you'll be well fairly less detached as

compared to you are what you are at 20

but the other way to do this is to

actually go and seek out new experiences

travel as much as possible meet as many

new people as possible talk to as many

new people as possible if you can't get

out of the house do it online don't fall

for scams don't fall for traps where

people passow you in their jaw of like

love and all of that and take money from

you all of that no but make it a point

to interact with as many people as you

can as much interaction as possible

because the more you interact the more

experience you gain the more data your

brain has to deal with the problems that

arise in your life the kind of

attachments that you have for example

let's say you're obsessed with a crush a

boy or a girl that you know you really

want to be your boyfriend or girlfriend

or partner or your soulmate you feel

like oh my God why are they not like me

back and then you talk to 10 other

people and see that they have gone

through similar in their lives at

that point in time and you see that they

dealt with it in their own way they

didn't die and they were able to come

out of it and now they're leading like

very healthy lives and that gives you

data set oh my God that this is possible

so I don't have to stay stuck in that

attachment and uh maybe there are better

things in life for me things like that

right so seeking out new experiences

just increases your perspective on life

and that perspective actually gives you

a new lease on life and that my friends

is so powerful when it comes to dealing

with unhealthy attachments and finally

we come to step number nine which is

perhaps the most important in the entire

list and that is making yourself your

home you remember how in the first point

we talked about finding healthy ways to

fulfill the needs that you have that are

actually leading to these unhealthy

attachments most of these can be solved

by making yourself your home but what

does that mean adabi it means that you

as an individual are capable of giving

yourself whatever you are seeking in an

individual capacity you have all of the

power to do that it may not seem like

that right now but it is 100% true the

human body and the human mind and the

human spirit are extremely extremely

powerful and you have to understand this

because if you let those needs stay

unfulfilled for very very long you will

almost always develop unhealthy coping

mechanisms unhealthy attachments to try

and fulfill them which is why whatever

needs arise in your life figure out a

way to fulfill them for yourself this

will mean that you have yourself to fall

back on whenever hits the fan

whenever things go wrong in night

because if you continue to wait for

something else or someone else to go

fulfill a need that you have you might

just end up waiting forever but when you

start to fulfill your own needs you

become a well balanced person you don't

seek out relationships you don't seek

out things in your life because of a

lack of them in your life you seek them

out because you want them because they

will add to your life because they will

make you even more fulfilled and you

attract what you constantly thinking

about if you don't fulfill your own

needs you are always operating from a

place of lack you are always operating

from a mindset that oh my God this needs

to be fulfilled and somebody else is

going to come and do that and when

you're operating from that mindset you

never going to attract that you're

always going to attract that lack of

fulfillment you attract what you embody

and if you embody fulfillment you will

attract more fulfillment and the way to

embody fulfillment is to fulfill your

own needs focus on fulfilling your own

needs even if you get like a percent of

the way there you'll be better off than

just waiting for an an arbitrary person

or thing to come fulfill your needs so

we have actually unpacked a lot in this

video and uh I tried to simplify the

words you guys uh because a lot of you

guys said that you needed simpler words

um I will try and focus more on this

going forward but the thing is that this

is my vocabulary like this is how I

speak in real life and I have actually

grown up speaking in English which is

why English communication comes a lot

easier to me but I will definitely try

and make it as simple as possible for

you guys so easy to understand and easy

to follow and with that don't forget to

check out this video next because it was

made especially for you and I will see

you guys in the next one I love you so

so much thank you thank you so much for

100k I was just about to say goodbye

without saying this but I'm so grateful

for all of you and uh I love you and I

will see you guys in the next one bye