How to Improve Your Sentence Structure
Summary
TLDRIn this educational video, Tutor Phil introduces six techniques to enhance essay writing by improving sentence structure. He emphasizes sentence cleanup, eliminating redundancy, using active voice, removing informal phrases, and cutting out unnecessary words like 'there is' and 'the fact that.' Each technique is illustrated with examples to demonstrate how to craft more direct, concise, and impactful sentences, ultimately leading to stronger essays.
Takeaways
- π Sentence Cleanup: Remove unnecessary words without changing the meaning to make sentences more concise and elegant.
- π Eliminate Repetition: Identify and remove redundant words or phrases to avoid repetition and enhance clarity.
- π£οΈ Use Active Voice: Transform passive sentences into active ones to make the writing more direct and engaging.
- π« Avoid 'You': Replace sentences starting with 'you' with more formal alternatives suitable for academic or professional writing.
- π‘ Eliminate 'The Fact That': Start sentences with the actual subject instead of using the filler phrase 'the fact that'.
- π Get Rid of 'There Is/There Are': Replace this phrase with a more direct statement of the subject and verb for a stronger impact.
- π Focus on the Subject: Identify the real subject of the sentence and make it the focus for improved clarity and impact.
- βοΈ Continuous Refinement: Keep refining sentences by removing unnecessary elements until they are as concise as possible without losing meaning.
- π Shorter Sentences Can Be Better: Concise sentences can be more effective if they convey the same message with fewer words.
- π Expand Essays Thoughtfully: While conciseness is key, there are legitimate ways to expand essays without being wordy, which are detailed in a separate tutorial.
Q & A
What is the main topic of the video by Tutor Phil?
-The main topic of the video is to provide six simple techniques for improving sentence structure in essays.
What is the first technique mentioned by Tutor Phil for sentence improvement?
-The first technique is called 'sentence cleanup', which involves removing unnecessary words without losing the sentence's meaning.
How many steps are there in the 'sentence cleanup' technique?
-There are two steps in the 'sentence cleanup' technique: 1) Ask if you can cut out words without losing meaning, and 2) Repeat this process until the sentence can no longer be shortened without losing meaning.
Can you provide an example of sentence cleanup from the video?
-An example given is changing 'Many people say that when childhood finishes, problems begin to exist' to 'Many people say that when childhood finishes, problems begin' by removing the unnecessary verb 'to exist'.
What is the purpose of eliminating repetition in sentences?
-Eliminating repetition makes sentences more concise, clear, and elegant by removing redundant or synonymous words.
How does using the active voice improve a sentence?
-Using the active voice makes a sentence more direct and engaging by clearly identifying the subject performing the action.
What is the fourth technique mentioned by Tutor Phil for sentence improvement?
-The fourth technique is to get rid of the word 'you' to make sentences more formal and suitable for academic or professional documents.
Why should the phrase 'the fact that' be avoided in writing?
-'The fact that' is considered a junk phrase that can be removed to make sentences more direct and focused on the actual subject.
What is the issue with starting sentences with 'there is' or 'there are'?
-'There is' and 'there are' are junk phrases that can make sentences needlessly lengthy and can be replaced with a more direct approach focusing on the real subject.
What should be done if removing words results in a significantly shorter essay?
-If the essay becomes too short, Tutor Phil suggests looking at his blog for a tutorial on four effective ways to expand an essay while maintaining quality.
How does the technique of removing 'you' from sentences improve formality in writing?
-Removing 'you' helps to avoid directly addressing the reader, which can be informal. It shifts the focus to the subject matter, making the sentence more suitable for academic or professional settings.
Outlines
π Sentence Cleanup Technique
Tutor Phil introduces the first technique for improving essay sentence structure: sentence cleanup. This involves two steps: first, questioning whether words can be removed without changing the sentence's meaning, and second, repeating this process until the sentence cannot be shortened further without losing its essence. Examples are provided to demonstrate how removing unnecessary words can result in more elegant and direct sentences, which are preferable in academic and professional documents.
π Eliminating Redundancy
The second technique focuses on eliminating repetition in sentences. By identifying and removing redundant or repetitive words or phrases, sentences can be made more concise and clear. Examples illustrate how removing synonyms such as 'complete' in 'complete total stranger' or 'continuously' in 'continuously used and adapted' can enhance the sentence's impact and form. The summary also compares the word count before and after the revisions to emphasize the effectiveness of this technique.
π’ Formalizing Sentences with Active Voice
Tutor Phil explains the importance of using the active voice in academic and professional writing. By identifying the subject performing the action and rephrasing sentences to reflect this, the sentences become more direct and engaging. The example provided shows the transformation of a passive sentence into an active one, highlighting the clarity and strength gained by this technique.
π« Avoiding Informal Phrases
This section addresses the issue of informality in writing, particularly the use of 'you' at the beginning of sentences. Tutor Phil suggests identifying the real subject of the sentence and rephrasing it to avoid directly addressing the reader. The summary includes examples of how to restructure sentences to be more formal and suitable for academic or business reports.
ποΈ Removing 'The Fact That'
The fourth technique targets the removal of the phrase 'the fact that,' which is often unnecessary and can be replaced with a more direct reference to the subject. Examples demonstrate how rephrasing sentences to start with the actual subject, such as 'Britain's vote to leave the European Union,' can make them more impactful and clear.
π ββοΈ Cutting Out 'There Is/There Are'
The final technique discussed is the elimination of 'there is' and 'there are' phrases, which can be replaced with more direct statements about the subject. By identifying the real subject and verb, sentences can be rewritten to be more concise and to the point. The summary provides examples of how this technique can transform sentences into more effective and professional statements.
Mindmap
Keywords
π‘Sentence Cleanup
π‘Filler Words
π‘Eliminate Repetition
π‘Active Voice
π‘Passive Voice
π‘Formal Language
π‘The Fact That
π‘There Is/There Are
π‘Conciseness
π‘Elegance in Writing
π‘Word Count
Highlights
Six simple techniques are introduced to improve sentence structure in essays.
Technique 1: Sentence cleanup involves cutting out unnecessary words to maintain meaning.
Example given of removing 'to exist' from a sentence for conciseness.
Technique 2: Eliminate repetition by removing redundant words or phrases.
Example of removing 'complete' from 'complete total stranger' to avoid redundancy.
Technique 3: Use active voice to make sentences more direct and engaging.
Example of changing passive 'needs to be continuously used and adapted' to active voice.
Technique 4: Remove the informal word 'you' to make sentences more formal.
Example of rephrasing 'you have to be able to have feedback' to a formal structure.
Technique 5: Avoid the phrase 'the fact that' as it is unnecessary.
Example of rewriting a sentence to focus on the actual subject rather than 'the fact that'.
Technique 6: Eliminate 'there is' or 'there are' to make sentences more concise.
Example of removing 'there are' from a sentence about people wanting to lose weight.
Writing wordy sentences is not a good way to add content to essays.
A tutorial on four effective ways to expand essays is available on the tutor's blog.
Shorter sentences can be better if they convey the same meaning more concisely.
The importance of removing filler words to make sentences more punchy and direct.
A comparison of original and improved sentences to demonstrate the impact of the techniques.
Transcripts
hi i'm tutor phil and in this video i'm
going to give you six
simple ways to improve sentence
structure in your essays i'm going to
give you six
techniques and let's get right to it
technique number one is called
sentence cleanup and it consists of two
steps
step one ask yourself this question can
i cut out one or more words from this
sentence without it losing its meaning
and step two simply keep repeating step
one
until the sentence can no longer be
shortened without losing its meaning
let's do an example
many people say that when childhood
finishes problems begin to exist
well let's ask ourselves what can we
remove what can we get rid of in the
sentence
and make sure that the sentence still
says what it wants to say
now is the phrase is the verb to exist
really necessary here let's cross it out
and read the sentence many people say
that when childhood finishes
problems begin see that's a much better
much more elegant sentence it's shorter
and we have eliminated
a little piece of filler that verb to
exist is just not necessary there
let's do another example this one comes
from a personal statement
i am someone who is dedicated and
determined to be a success in this field
for which i have developed a keen
interest what we're doing is we're
looking for filler
words and what occurs to me is that the
word someone i am
someone who is is really not necessary
it's not necessary to say that let's see
let's cross out someone who is and read
the sentence
i am dedicated and determined to be a
success in this field for which i have
developed a keen interest
see how much more punchy how much more
direct the sentence is
this improved version of the sentence
will work much better in a personal
statement
and make a much better impact alright
technique number two
eliminate repetition and let's do an
example she was a
complete total stranger to brian park
we're looking for a way to remove
words or phrases that are redundant or
repetitive what is the difference
between a
complete total stranger and a
total stranger so we cross out complete
and read the sentence she was a total
stranger to bryant park
see this is already much better why
because complete and tall are synonymous
the author is just repeating herself now
let's do step two
and ask ourselves can we do this again
what is the difference between a
total stranger and a stranger well a
stranger is a stranger right
let's cross out polo and read the sons
again
she was a stranger to brian park there
we go
now we have a perfect sentence why
because we have removed things that
just don't belong there now this is a
shorter and much more elegant sentence
let's do another example a quality
improvement plan needs to be
continuously used
and continuously adapted all the time
the sample sentence comes from
a real essay now what stands out right
away now the word continuously
is used twice so we definitely need to
get rid of one of them
and let's do it and let's read the
sentence a quality
improvement plan needs to be
continuously used and adapted
all the time okay this is already a lot
better
can we do this again is there another
redundancy here
well let's see what about all the time
isn't all the time the same thing as
continuously again these are synonyms
let's get rid of one of them
a quality improvement plan needs to be
continuously used and adapted
there we go now that's a sentence let's
compare the versions
so version 1 a quality improvement plan
needs to be continuously used and
continuously adapted
all the time this one is 15 words a new
improved version
is a quality improvement plan needs to
be continuously used and adapted
11 words does shorter necessarily mean
better well if you can say the same
thing in fewer words
then yes next technique use the active
voice
and let's take as an example our
sentence from the previous technique
a quality improvement plan needs to be
continuously used and adapted
this sentence employs the passive voice
now how do we turn this into
an active voice well we need to ask
ourselves
who is doing the using and adapting
of the improvement plans in a company or
a corporation
who uses and adapts improvement plans
while the management does right we infer
that from the sentence
well if we know that now we can use the
active voice
managers should continuously use and
adapt a quality
improvement plan there we go now it's a
much better sentence why because
it's in active voice technique four get
rid of the word
you now let's do an example you have to
be able to have some feedback from a
consumer
see this sentence is not formal enough
either for academic
or a professional document if you're
writing a college paper
or if you're writing some kind of a
business report you really can't use a
sentence that begins with the word you
you have to be able to have some
feedback from a consumer it's too
informal you're addressing the reader
directly that is the problem
how do we remove the word you well we'll
look for the real subject
what is the real subject here the
sentence is really about
feedback it's not about you it's about
feedback
so why not make the sentence about
feedback
rather than you so what we'll do is
we'll begin the sentence with the actual
subject
and let's do it feedback from a consumer
is necessary see that's exactly what a
sentence really says
so first we begin the sentence with the
real subject
and then we make sure that we tweak the
rest of the sentence to
conform to the new format let's compare
the versions
version one you have to be able to have
some feedback from a consumer
12 words feedback from a consumer is
necessary
six words now as you can see the second
sentence is really
fit for either a college paper or a
business
report the second sentence is no problem
it's formal
it's direct it's punchy it just works
now you can say
fill if i keep doing this to my
sentences
then pretty soon i will have a 500 word
essay instead of a thousand word essay
in other words i'm losing words here and
i need words
well let me tell you something writing
wordy sentences
is not a good way to add content to your
essay
and knowing that you need ways to add
words to your essays and to expand them
i put together a tutorial in which i
show you four legitimate and effective
ways to expand
an essay it's on my blog and i have the
link in the description
technique 4 get rid of the phrase the
fact that
the fact that is really a junk phrase
let's do an example
the fact that britain voted to leave the
european union
sent shockwaves across europe well what
actually
sent shockwaves across europe was it the
fact that britain voted
or was it the actual subject what is the
actual subject what is the real subject
here
the real subject is the vote of the
british people
so what will do it again we'll begin the
sentence
with the actual subject britain's vote
to leave the european union
sent shockwaves across europe see how
much better the sentence is
why because we got rid of this junk
phrase
the fact that and we're starting the
sentence
we're making the sentence about the
actual subject
let's do another example the fact that
the summer was very hot
made them reconsider staying in town
again what is the real subject here
is it the fact or is it the summer
well the summer seems to be the real
subject the sentence is not really about
the fact
it's about the summer and let's rewrite
it
summer heat made them reconsider staying
in town let me see how this works
because what is the fact that the summer
was very hot
well it's simply summer heat summer heat
is the fact that the summer is very hot
so why not just make the sentence about
the actual subject which is
really summer heat and as a result we
have a much better
more elegant sentence and finally get
rid of there is there are
now this is another junk phrase there is
there is another junk phrase that
makes sentences needlessly lengthy
here's an example
there are many people who want to lose
weight well again
what is the real subject here well the
real subject
is people or many people if we use the
phrase there is there
are then there becomes the subject and r
becomes the verb but that's not really
the case the
reality of the sentence is that many
people
actually want to lose weight many people
is the subject and to lose weight is the
verb
so let's rewrite it let's cross out
there are and let's cross out who
because that's another junk word that
needs to be added because we're using
the iran and let's read an improved
sentence
many people want to lose weight there we
go
see it's a much better more direct and
punchy sentence
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