Why Being Ugly is a Blessing.

James Ray Gregory
24 Feb 202108:31

Summary

TLDRThe speaker candidly discusses the personal journey of embracing their perceived 'ugliness' and how it has been a blessing. They recount childhood experiences of social exclusion, which taught them about the fickleness of people and the importance of self-acceptance. The script emphasizes the value of not seeking validation from others, drawing strength from one's convictions and moral compass, especially when it comes to standing up for what is right. The speaker finds confidence and peace in their faith, which provides a sense of validation independent of societal approval.

Takeaways

  • πŸ€” The speaker acknowledges being perceived as 'ugly' and reflects on how societal standards of beauty can affect one's self-perception.
  • πŸ” The script discusses the idea that 'ugliness' is defined by how one deviates from societal norms and media portrayals, such as those in Vogue or GQ.
  • πŸ‘€ The speaker shares personal experiences of feeling ostracized and 'radioactive' during childhood due to appearance, highlighting the harsh reality of social exclusion.
  • πŸ’” It is mentioned that the speaker learned at a young age about the fickleness of people and the pain of being abandoned by friends for superficial reasons.
  • 🀝 Despite the negative experiences, the speaker also found true friends in elementary school who have remained loyal, illustrating the existence of genuine relationships.
  • 🚫 The script emphasizes the importance of not seeking validation from others, whether through social media likes or physical appearance, as it is fleeting and unreliable.
  • πŸ’‘ The speaker finds a 'blessing' in being 'ugly' as it has taught them to value self-acceptance and to not be swayed by the opinions of others.
  • πŸ™ The speaker draws a connection between their experiences and spiritual beliefs, suggesting that being disliked for doing what is morally right can be a sign of righteousness.
  • πŸ’ͺ The script conveys a newfound confidence that comes from internal validation rather than external approval, which the speaker attributes to their 'ugliness'.
  • 🧐 The speaker observes that some of the most attractive people can be the most insecure, as their self-worth is contingent on the validation of others.
  • 🌟 The overall message is one of self-empowerment and the discovery of true value that comes from within, not from the judgments of society.

Q & A

  • What is the speaker's perspective on being considered 'ugly' by societal standards?

    -The speaker acknowledges that they are considered 'ugly' by societal standards but has come to terms with their appearance and sees it as a blessing in disguise.

  • How does the speaker describe their experience growing up and how it was affected by their appearance?

    -The speaker describes their childhood as being treated like they were 'radioactive', with people avoiding them due to their appearance, which they liken to being dangerous to others' social standing.

  • What lesson did the speaker learn from their experiences with people's fickleness?

    -The speaker learned that people are fickle and can turn their back on you for superficial reasons, but this also taught them the value of true friends who remained loyal despite their appearance.

  • How does the speaker view the quest for validation and acceptance in society?

    -The speaker views the quest for validation and acceptance as a futile pursuit that often leads to self-deprecation and a lack of self-worth, especially when it is based on physical appearance.

  • What does the speaker believe is the 'real blessing' of being considered 'ugly'?

    -The 'real blessing', according to the speaker, is the freedom to speak morally right and tell the truth without fear of consequences, as they have learned to be okay with not being accepted by others.

  • How does the speaker's faith influence their perspective on being 'ugly' and not being accepted by the world?

    -The speaker's faith provides them with a sense of peace and confidence, as they believe that being disliked by the world for doing what is right is a sign of being a true follower of Christ.

  • What does the speaker suggest is the source of their confidence and self-worth?

    -The speaker's confidence and self-worth come from their faith and doing what is morally right, rather than seeking validation from external sources or societal approval.

  • How does the speaker compare their own self-perception with that of attractive people they have known?

    -The speaker finds it paradoxical that some of the most attractive people they have known are the most insecure, as their self-worth is dependent on external validation and approval.

  • What is the speaker's advice for dealing with the pain of rejection or not being accepted by others?

    -The speaker advises finding peace in the fact that if one is doing what is right and gets persecuted for it, they should take comfort in their moral integrity and the validation that comes from their faith.

  • What role does the speaker believe their 'ugly' appearance has played in their personal growth?

    -The speaker believes that their appearance has accelerated their understanding of the superficiality of societal values and the importance of internal validation, leading to personal growth and self-assuredness.

  • How does the speaker define 'ugly' in the context of the script?

    -In the context of the script, 'ugly' is defined as not conforming to societal standards of beauty as portrayed in media like Vogue or GQ, and being further away from these ideals makes one more 'ugly' in the eyes of society.

Outlines

00:00

πŸ˜” Embracing Ugliness: A Social Perspective

The speaker reflects on their personal experience of being considered 'ugly' by societal standards, which are often defined by media and fashion. They describe the negative treatment they received growing up, being avoided as if they were 'radioactive'. This early exposure to rejection and superficial judgments taught them about the fickleness of people and the importance of true friendship. The speaker also discusses the dichotomy of human nature, where they found genuine friends alongside the superficial ones. They emphasize that being 'ugly' has been a blessing in disguise, as it has allowed them to understand the value of self-acceptance and the futility of seeking validation from others.

05:01

πŸ›‘οΈ The Blessing of Ugliness: Moral Confidence

Continuing the narrative, the speaker explores how being perceived as unattractive has given them a unique form of confidence. This stems from not needing to conform to societal expectations or seek external validation. They argue that this has allowed them to speak the truth and act morally without fear of social repercussions. Drawing parallels to religious teachings, the speaker suggests that being disliked for doing what is right is a sign of righteousness. They contrast this with the insecurities of attractive individuals who rely heavily on external validation. The speaker concludes by asserting that their true validation comes from a higher power and doing what is morally right, which has been a significant lesson learned from their experiences.

Mindmap

Keywords

πŸ’‘Ugly

In the context of the video, 'ugly' is used to describe a person's physical appearance that does not conform to societal beauty standards, as exemplified by the speaker's self-deprecating remarks about their blackheads, hairline, and paleness. The video's theme revolves around the idea that being considered 'ugly' can lead to a deeper understanding of societal superficiality and the development of inner strength and self-acceptance.

πŸ’‘Blessing

The term 'blessing' is paradoxically used in the video to describe the positive aspects that arose from the speaker's perception of being 'ugly.' It suggests that the experience of being different or unaccepted can lead to personal growth, resilience, and a more profound understanding of human nature and societal values.

πŸ’‘Societal Standards

Societal standards refer to the norms and expectations set by society regarding what is considered beautiful, acceptable, or desirable. In the script, the speaker contrasts their appearance with those seen in 'Vogue' and 'GQ,' indicating that those who do not meet these standards are deemed 'ugly,' which is a central theme of the video.

πŸ’‘Self-Acceptance

Self-acceptance is the process of embracing one's own identity, including physical appearance, without being overly concerned with others' opinions. The speaker mentions being 'okay with the way I look,' which is a key part of the video's message that true confidence comes from within, not from external validation.

πŸ’‘Validation

Validation in this video refers to the need for external approval or acceptance, often sought through social media likes or the opinions of others. The speaker criticizes this need, stating that it can lead to a lack of self-worth and an overemphasis on superficial qualities.

πŸ’‘Persecution

Persecution is the act of being mistreated or harassed, often for holding beliefs or attitudes that are different from the majority. The speaker mentions that standing up for what is right can lead to persecution, but this is seen as a blessing because it indicates alignment with higher moral principles.

πŸ’‘Friendship

Friendship is portrayed in the video as a relationship that can be tested by societal pressures. The speaker reflects on childhood friendships that endured despite their 'ugly' appearance, illustrating the idea that true friends are not influenced by superficial judgments.

πŸ’‘Insecurity

Insecurity is the feeling of being unsure of oneself, often stemming from a lack of self-confidence. The video contrasts the speaker's self-acceptance with the insecurity of others, particularly attractive individuals who may rely on external validation for their self-worth.

πŸ’‘Moral Integrity

Moral integrity refers to the quality of having strong moral principles and the courage to act according to those principles, regardless of the consequences. The speaker emphasizes that being 'ugly' has allowed them to speak the truth and act morally without fear of rejection.

πŸ’‘Confidence

Confidence in the video is depicted as an internal quality that comes from self-acceptance and moral integrity, rather than external validation or physical attractiveness. The speaker's confidence is a result of their realization that they do not need to conform to societal standards to be valuable.

πŸ’‘External World

The 'external world' in this context refers to the societal and environmental factors that influence an individual's self-perception and actions. The speaker discusses how their 'ugliness' has led them to find value and validation from within, rather than seeking it from the external world.

Highlights

The speaker reflects on being perceived as 'ugly' and how it has shaped their life experiences.

Society's standards of beauty are contrasted with the speaker's personal experiences of being treated as ugly.

The impact of physical appearance on social interactions and how it was like growing up feeling 'radioactive'.

Early realization of the fickleness of people and the harsh reality of social hierarchies based on appearance.

The dichotomy of experiences with both superficial and genuine friendships during formative years.

The speaker's acceptance of their appearance and the development of a sense of self-worth independent of societal approval.

The revelation that seeking validation from others can lead to a life of insecurity and a lack of genuine self-confidence.

The importance of finding validation from within rather than relying on external approval or societal acceptance.

The empowerment that comes from understanding and accepting oneself, even when not fitting societal norms.

The speaker's belief that their 'ugliness' has provided them with a unique perspective and strength of character.

The idea that being different or 'ugly' can lead to a deeper understanding of moral values and the courage to stand up for what is right.

The correlation drawn between the speaker's experiences and biblical teachings about acceptance and persecution for righteousness.

The speaker's confidence stemming from their faith and moral compass rather than external validation.

Reflections on the paradox of attractive individuals often being the most insecure, highlighting the emptiness of seeking validation through appearance.

The speaker's early life lessons on the importance of self-worth and the dangers of societal validation obsession.

The conclusion that being 'ugly' has been a blessing in disguise, fostering resilience, self-reliance, and a strong moral foundation.

Transcripts

play00:02

okay

play00:03

how being ugly is a blessing

play00:07

how being ugly is a blessing look at me

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look

play00:11

at all my blackheads look at that look

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at my hairline look at how pale i am

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i almost become invisible as i as i walk

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back

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true story right see let's define ugly

play00:26

we know what ugly is not

play00:29

ugly is not what's on vogue ugly is not

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what's on you know

play00:33

gq that's not ugly society has a

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standard and everybody who does not meet

play00:38

that

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they fall short and the further along

play00:42

you get

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in terms of how you look physically you

play00:46

become more and more ugly

play00:48

before the further you look from gq the

play00:50

further you look from you know

play00:51

uh whatever women's magazine there is

play00:54

you're ugly

play00:56

and that's how the world will see you

play00:57

and that's how society will treat you

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and i and i'm standing here to explain

play01:02

to you how

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i was treated as such i'm ugly

play01:07

now i am okay with the way i look you

play01:09

know i think i live a little i don't

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look good you know a little bit you know

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but i understand that in a way i am ugly

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because

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even further from how everybody can see

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there's a natural way of things i am not

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that

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i am not the natural look i stick out

play01:27

so imagine having to so i'll i'll go

play01:30

through

play01:31

how it was when i grew up when i grew up

play01:33

it was

play01:36

everybody treats me like i'm radioactive

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some people would come to come in

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contact with me some people would want

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to get to know me

play01:44

but mostly everybody around me

play01:45

especially in elementary school

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it was almost like being around me was

play01:49

dangerous to their health

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it was it was like being around me

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um tainted their reputation as

play02:01

a social in a social hierarchy sense

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like

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if you were a cool person hanging around

play02:06

me was not cool because look look at

play02:08

look at

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i look like a freaking

play02:12

like one of the mushrooms you see in

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your garden growing on the white ones

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or like an ipod charger or something

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like i i'm just like i literally stick

play02:19

out

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so

play02:24

at a young age i got to understand that

play02:26

like

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i got to understand just how naturally

play02:31

evil people are

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because they only really care about

play02:34

themselves

play02:36

because hanging around me even though we

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would laugh and even though we would be

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friendly with each other

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because you didn't want other people to

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look at you a certain way

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oh we can't hang out that's just one

play02:47

example

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but how was that a blessing how is that

play02:50

a blessing because what it taught me at

play02:52

a young age is that

play02:55

people are very fickle and they will

play02:57

they will turn their back on you

play03:00

your friends will do it people you just

play03:02

people you just meet

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people will be insulting they'll they'll

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hurt you for no reason because

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well they might they might have the

play03:10

reasons but it doesn't necessarily

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matter what the reasons are

play03:14

but it's okay because i also got to

play03:18

experience

play03:19

friends who i still know to this day in

play03:22

elementary school

play03:23

who stuck with me from kindergarten

play03:27

literally to

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now i know people who are

play03:32

not like that so there's a dichotomy

play03:37

but i didn't i didn't i didn't go to

play03:39

saying oh man i hate these people you

play03:40

know what i'm saying

play03:41

i can't believe people like that why why

play03:43

why does the world have to be like this

play03:44

and then all of a sudden i i shoot up a

play03:46

school or

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all of a sudden i become um you know

play03:49

hurtful to others because i'm trying to

play03:51

inflict

play03:52

how i'm feeling on them

play03:55

it's a blessing because god kind of like

play03:58

showed me like look it's so it's all

play04:00

right man it's okay

play04:02

it's okay to what it's okay to not be

play04:04

accepted by the group and this

play04:07

is the point of this video see

play04:10

everybody wants to be accepted everybody

play04:13

seeks validation

play04:14

whether they're contorting their body

play04:15

and they're trying to poke out their

play04:16

butt and they're sitting on a bathroom

play04:18

sink

play04:18

and they're taking a selfie to show on

play04:21

instagram for a bunch of likes

play04:23

whether they got their shirt off and

play04:24

they're trying to show their six-pack

play04:26

and how much they can lift in the gym

play04:29

whether they're trying to

play04:32

show the shell of a person that they are

play04:34

when they spend massive amounts of money

play04:36

and they and they have all these

play04:37

trinkets that they can show to the world

play04:40

to say look look validate me please

play04:43

approve me

play04:44

please everybody see i don't i don't

play04:46

want to do that i don't want to do that

play04:48

it's easier for me not to do that

play04:51

i think it was because i'm ugly

play04:55

because as i'm ugly i understand that

play04:57

it's okay to not be accepted

play04:59

people didn't like me in high school in

play05:01

kindergarten in college

play05:03

right now at the walmart i walk to

play05:06

whenever i sit on a bus stop

play05:08

people don't like me because the way i

play05:09

look but some will

play05:11

but most importantly it's okay because

play05:14

i'm not dead yet

play05:15

no one accepts me a lot of people don't

play05:17

accept me people run away from me

play05:19

people gawk at me because of my skin

play05:22

color but it's okay

play05:23

i'm not dead it's all right

play05:27

everything's gonna be all right but how

play05:29

does this translate to what i'm

play05:31

to the to the real blessing and here's

play05:33

the real blessings

play05:38

i can speak what's morally right i can i

play05:41

can say

play05:42

i can tell people the truth because i

play05:44

don't care

play05:45

about the consequence of how they feel i

play05:48

can be who i need to be and who i'm

play05:50

supposed to be and who i know god wants

play05:51

me to be

play05:52

because

play05:57

i'm okay with the consequence of people

play06:00

shunning me

play06:01

people hating me now i know i know i'm

play06:05

gonna go there i'm gonna go there a

play06:06

little bit i'm gonna go there a little

play06:07

bit on you

play06:09

see the bible says followers of christ

play06:12

says

play06:12

followers of me will be hated because

play06:14

they first hated me

play06:16

so it's only natural that they're gonna

play06:18

hate you

play06:20

but you rejoice in that you find you

play06:23

find

play06:24

comfort and peace in that and the fact

play06:26

that you're doing the right thing and

play06:27

that's the

play06:28

and that is the method as to which you

play06:31

will know

play06:32

when you are not a friend of the world

play06:35

when the world does not like you

play06:37

that's when you know you're doing things

play06:38

right now obviously i'm not talking

play06:41

about

play06:41

you know if you become like a like a jew

play06:44

killer or something like that or

play06:47

or you like lynching people i'm not

play06:48

talking about that i'm saying when you

play06:50

stand up for what's right

play06:52

and you get

play06:55

persecuted for it whether it be on a

play06:58

small scale or in a pig

play07:00

find peace in that because you know that

play07:03

your your validation comes from

play07:06

up top it doesn't come from people

play07:09

around you

play07:10

and that's what i'm trying to explain i

play07:12

have a confidence because i'm ugly

play07:14

i have a confidence that i i've been

play07:17

with people with

play07:18

with women who are very pretty but they

play07:21

are the most

play07:22

insecure schizophrenic people you'll

play07:24

ever meet they

play07:25

they they don't like themselves and i

play07:27

don't get it it's like the most weirdest

play07:28

thing

play07:30

some of the most attractive women are

play07:32

like

play07:34

they're the most fragile things on the

play07:37

planet

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in the mind and the spirit and the heart

play07:40

because

play07:41

they don't know they're lifeless their

play07:44

life

play07:44

exists in a vacuum of validation that's

play07:47

just one example

play07:50

but i had i had to i had to grow up very

play07:53

very early

play07:55

as a child to understand these things

play07:58

not saying that i had to do it but god

play08:00

showed me these things god spoke to me

play08:01

god

play08:02

god drew me to these these to these

play08:04

realities

play08:06

at a young age and it helped it helped

play08:09

who i am today

play08:11

see now i got real confidence now i have

play08:14

real value because it doesn't come from

play08:18

the external world it is not the it's

play08:21

not that's not the focal point

play08:22

of my validation my validation comes

play08:25

from god

play08:26

and doing what's right blessing

play08:29

blessings all right

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Related Tags
Self-AcceptanceSocietal StandardsInsecurityValidationConfidenceBeauty StandardsPersonal GrowthMoral CourageSocial RejectionInner Strength