No Freaking Speaking: 3 Techniques for Managing Speaking Anxiety

Summary

This script addresses the common fear of public speaking, with 85% of people reportedly feeling nervous. It suggests that anxiety can be managed rather than overcome, as it serves a purpose in focusing our energy. The speaker introduces techniques such as greeting anxiety, reframing the speaking situation as a conversation, and becoming present-oriented to reduce nervousness. These strategies are supported by academic research and aim to make the audience comfortable, which is essential for effective communication.

Takeaways

• 🗣️ Most people are nervous about public speaking, with 85% admitting to it and the remaining 15% likely understating their anxiety.
• 🔄 Anxiety is a universal fear, often ranked among the top fears alongside more extreme scenarios like terrorist attacks or identity theft.
• 👍 Anxiety can be beneficial, providing energy and focus, but it's important to learn to manage it rather than trying to eliminate it completely.
• 🤗 Audiences can feel uncomfortable when watching a nervous speaker, which can create an awkward atmosphere and hinder message delivery.
• 📢 As a communicator, the goal should be to make the audience feel comfortable, which is essential for them to effectively receive the message.
• 🧘 Mindful attention can help manage anxiety by acknowledging it as a normal response to doing something of consequence, thus preventing it from escalating.
• 🔄 Reframing the speaking situation from a performance to a conversation can reduce anxiety and make the interaction feel more natural and less pressured.
• ❓ Using questions in presentations can create a more dialogic and engaging experience, making the audience feel more involved in the conversation.
• 💬 Adopting conversational language and avoiding formal, distancing language can help in making the presentation feel more like a discussion rather than a lecture.
• ⏱ Being present-oriented, rather than worrying about future consequences, can reduce nervousness by focusing on the current moment and the task at hand.
• 🏋️‍♂️ Techniques such as physical activity, listening to music, or saying tongue twisters can help bring oneself into the present moment and warm up the voice.

Q & A

What percentage of people feel nervous when speaking in public according to the speaker?

According to the speaker, 85% of people feel nervous when speaking in public.

What is the speaker's view on the fear of public speaking compared to other fears?

The speaker believes that fear of public speaking is a ubiquitous fear and is among the top fears that people have, even comparing it to being caught in a surprise terrorist attack or having one's identity stolen.

Why does the speaker use the word 'manage' instead of 'overcome' when talking about anxiety?

The speaker uses the word 'manage' because they believe that anxiety is not something to be completely overcome, but rather something that can be helpful by providing energy and focus, and it indicates the importance of the task at hand.

How does the speaker describe the typical audience's reaction to a nervous speaker?

The speaker describes the audience's reaction as feeling uncomfortable and awkward when watching a nervous speaker, with some nodding and smiling or others disengaging.

What is the role of a communicator according to the speaker?

According to the speaker, the role of a communicator is to make the audience comfortable so they can receive the message, regardless of whether the message is harsh or pleasant.

What is the first technique the speaker suggests to manage anxiety when speaking?

The first technique suggested by the speaker is to greet the anxiety when the symptoms begin to appear, acknowledging it as normal and natural to prevent the anxiety from spiraling out of control.

What does the speaker mean by reframing the speaking situation?

Reframing the speaking situation means changing the perspective from performing to having a conversation, which can help reduce anxiety and make the interaction more natural.

How can questions be used to create a conversational mode during a presentation?

Questions can be used to involve the audience and create a two-way interaction. They can be rhetorical or polling, and they can be used to structure the presentation by listing questions to be answered instead of bullet points.

What is the purpose of using conversational language when speaking?

Using conversational language helps to reduce the distance between the speaker and the audience, making the presentation more inclusive and less formal, which can help manage anxiety.

What is the significance of being present-oriented when speaking to manage anxiety?

Being present-oriented helps to reduce worries about future consequences and allows the speaker to focus on the current moment, which can decrease nervousness.

Can you provide an example of how to become present-oriented as suggested by the speaker?

The speaker suggests several ways to become present-oriented, such as doing physical activity like push-ups, listening to music, counting backward, or saying tongue twisters to focus on the present moment.

Outlines

00:00

😨 Managing Public Speaking Anxiety

This paragraph addresses the common fear of public speaking, with 85% of people reportedly feeling nervous about it. The speaker suggests that anxiety can be beneficial, providing energy and focus, but it needs to be managed. The audience's comfort is emphasized as crucial for effective communication. The speaker proposes techniques based on academic research to manage anxiety, starting with acknowledging it when it arises, which can prevent it from escalating. The paragraph also discusses the audience's reaction to a nervous speaker, noting that it's uncomfortable and unhelpful for the speaker.

05:02

🗣️ Techniques for Conversational Presentation

The second paragraph delves into specific techniques to transform a presentation into a conversation, making it more engaging and less anxiety-inducing. The speaker highlights the use of questions to involve the audience and create a dialogic atmosphere. Conversational language is encouraged to make the speaker appear less distant and more relatable. The paragraph also touches on the importance of being present-oriented to reduce nervousness, suggesting methods like physical activity, listening to music, or saying tongue twisters to focus on the moment and warm up the voice.

10:02

🧘‍♂️ Present-Oriented Anxiety Management

The final paragraph wraps up the discussion on managing anxiety by emphasizing the importance of being present. It suggests that worrying about future consequences can increase nervousness, and by focusing on the present, one can alleviate this anxiety. The speaker shares personal research and anecdotes, including the example of a professional speaker who does push-ups to ensure he is in the present moment before speaking. The paragraph concludes with an interactive element, inviting the audience to say a tongue twister to practice being present and warm up their voices.

Keywords

💡Anxiety

Anxiety is a feeling of nervousness or fear, often accompanied by physical symptoms such as increased heart rate or sweating. In the video, it is defined as a common experience for many people, especially when speaking in public. The script emphasizes that anxiety is not something to be completely overcome, but rather managed, as it can provide energy and focus, indicating its importance in the theme of public speaking.

💡Public Speaking

Public speaking refers to the act of addressing an audience in a formal setting. The script identifies it as a common fear, ranking among the top fears of Americans, and discusses the need to manage anxiety associated with it. Public speaking is central to the video's theme, as it is the context in which the audience's discomfort and the speaker's nervousness are discussed.

💡Mindful Attention

Mindful attention is the practice of being fully present and aware of one's experiences without judgment. The video suggests using mindful attention to greet anxiety symptoms as they arise, which can help prevent the anxiety from escalating. This concept is crucial as it provides a technique for managing the anxiety felt during public speaking.

💡Reframe

To reframe means to change the way one sees or understands something. In the context of the video, reframing is a technique where the speaker changes their perspective on public speaking from a performance to a conversation. This shift in mindset is suggested as a method to reduce anxiety and make the speaking experience more comfortable.

💡Conversation

A conversation is an interactive communication between two or more people. The script encourages viewing public speaking as a conversation rather than a performance, using questions and conversational language to engage the audience. This approach is highlighted as a way to make both the speaker and the audience feel more at ease.

💡Present Moment

The present moment refers to the current, immediate experience without concern for the past or future. The video discusses the benefits of being present-oriented to reduce nervousness by focusing on the here and now, rather than worrying about future outcomes. Techniques such as tongue twisters are suggested to help achieve this state of presence.

💡Techniques

Techniques in this context refer to the methods or strategies suggested in the video to manage anxiety during public speaking. These include greeting anxiety, reframing the speaking situation, using conversational language, and becoming present-oriented. The term is central to the video's message as it provides practical tools for the audience to apply.

💡Audience

The audience is the group of people attending and listening to the speaker. The script discusses the importance of making the audience comfortable, as their comfort level affects their ability to receive the speaker's message. The audience's reaction to a nervous speaker, such as nodding or disengaging, is also mentioned, illustrating the impact on the speaker.

💡Participation

Participation in the video refers to the involvement of the audience in the speaking event, such as answering questions or repeating tongue twisters. It is used as a method to create a more conversational and less formal atmosphere, thereby reducing the speaker's anxiety and making the audience feel more engaged.

💡Tongue Twister

A tongue twister is a phrase that is difficult to articulate properly, often used for amusement or to improve pronunciation and speech fluency. In the video, the speaker uses a tongue twister as an example of a technique to become present-oriented and warm up the voice, thus helping to manage anxiety before speaking.

Highlights

85% of people report feeling nervous when speaking in public, suggesting that anxiety is a common and normal experience.

Anxiety can be beneficial, providing energy and focus, but it's important to learn how to manage it effectively.

Audience members often feel uncomfortable when watching a nervous speaker, which can negatively impact the communication.

As a communicator, it's crucial to make your audience feel comfortable so they can effectively receive your message.

Greeting your anxiety and acknowledging it can help prevent the anxiety from spiraling out of control.

Reframing public speaking as a conversation rather than a performance can reduce anxiety and create a more engaging experience.

Using questions in your presentation can create a dialogic, two-way interaction that makes the audience feel more involved.

Incorporating conversational language can help you connect with your audience and make your presentation feel more inclusive and less formal.

Focusing on the present moment rather than worrying about future consequences can help reduce nervousness and improve performance.

Engaging in physical activity, such as push-ups, can help ground you in the present and alleviate pre-speech anxiety.

Listening to music or focusing on a specific song can help athletes and speakers get into the zone and be present before their performance.

Counting backward by tough numbers or saying tongue twisters are simple techniques to help you focus on the present moment and reduce anxiety.

Warming up your voice with tongue twisters can help you feel more present and confident before speaking in public.

Participation and audience engagement, such as repeating tongue twisters, can help alleviate anxiety by focusing your attention on the task at hand.

Managing anxiety effectively is crucial for communicators to deliver their message successfully and connect with their audience.

Transcripts

so let's get started with anxiety

management 85% of people tell us that

they're nervous when speaking in public

and I think the other 15% are lying okay

we could create a situation where we

could make them nervous too in fact just

this past week a study from Chapman

University asked Americans what are the

things you fear most and among being

caught in a surprise terrorist attack

having identity your identity stolen was

public speaking among the top five was

speaking in front of others this is a

ubiquitous fear and one that I believe

we can learn to manage and I use that

word manage very

carefully because I don't think we ever

want to overcome it anxiety actually

helps us it gives us energy helps us

Focus tells us what we're doing is

important but we want to learn to manage

it so I'd like to introduce you to a few

techniques that can work and these

techniques are based on academic

research but before we get there I'd

love to ask you what does it feel like

when you're sitting in the audience

watching a nervous speaker present how

do you feel just shout out a few things

how do you feel uncomfortable

uncomfortable I heard many of you going

yes uncomfortable it feels very awkward

doesn't it so what do we do now a couple

of you probably like watching somebody

suffer okay but most of us don't so what

do we do we sit there and we nod and we

smile or we

disengage and to the nervous speaker

looking out at his or her audience

seeing a bunch of people nodding or

disengage that does not help okay so we

need to learn to manage our anxiety

because fundamentally your job as a

communicator rather regardless of if

it's planned or spontaneous is to make

your audience comfortable because if

they're comfortable they can receive

your message and when I say comfortable

I am not referring to the fact that that

your message has to be sugarcoated and

nice and for them to hear it can be a

harsh message but they have to be in a

place where they can receive it so it's

incumbent on you as a communicator to

help your audience feel comfortable and

we do that by managing our anxiety so

let me introduce you to a few techniques

that I think you can use right away to

help you feel more

comfortable the first has to do with

when you begin to feel those anxiety

symptoms for most people this happens in

the initial minutes prior to

speaking in this situation what happens

is of us begin to feel whatever it is

that happens to you maybe your stomach

gets a little gurgly maybe your legs

begin to shake maybe you begin to

perspire and then we start to say to

ourselves oh my goodness I'm nervous

uhoh they're going to tell I'm nervous

this is not going to go well and we

start spiring out of

control so research on mindful attention

tells us that if when we begin to feel

those anxiety symptoms we simply greet

our anxiety and say hey this is me

feeling nervous I'm about to do

something of

consequence and simply by greeting your

anxiety and acknowledging it that it's

normal and natural heck 85% of people

tell us they have it you actually can

stem the tide of that anxiety spiraling

out of control it's not necessarily

going to reduce the anxiety but it will

stop it from spinning up so the next

time you begin to feel those anx anxiety

signs take a deep breath and say this is

me feeling

anxious I know notice a few of you

taking some notes there's a handout that

will come at the end that has everything

that I'm supposed to say okay can't

guarantee I'm going to say it but I

you'll have it there in addition to this

approach a technique that works very

well and this is a technique that I help

do some research on way back when I was

in graduate school has to do with

reframing how you see the speaking

situation most of us when we are up

presenting planned or spontaneous we

feel that we have to do it right and we

feel like we are performing how many of

you have ever acted done singing or

dancing I'm not going to ask for

performances now okay many of you have

we should note that we could do next

year maybe a talent show of alums it

looks like we got the talent there

that's

great so when you perform you know that

there's a right way and a wrong way to

do it if you don't hit your the right

note or your right line at the right

time at the right place you've made a

mistake it messes up the audience it

mess messes up the people on stage but

when you present there is no right way

there's certainly better and worse ways

but there is no one right way so we need

to look at presenting as something other

than performance and what I'd like to

suggest is what we need to see this as

is a

conversation right now I'm having a

conversation with a 100 plus

people rather than saying I'm performing

for you but it's not enough just to say

this is a conversation I want to give

you some concrete things you can do

first start with questions questions by

their very nature are dialogic they're

two-way what was one of the very first

things I did here for you I had you

count the number of fs and raise your

hands I asked you a question that gets

your audience involved it makes it feel

to me as the presenter as if we are in

conversation so use questions they can

be rhetorical they can be polling

perhaps I actually want to hear

information from you in fact I use

questions when I create an outline for

my presentations rather than writing

bullet points I list questions that I'm

going to answer and that puts me in that

conversational mode if you were to look

at my notes for today's talk you'll see

it's just a series of questions right

now I'm answering the question how do we

manage our

anxiety Beyond questions another very

useful technique for making us

conversational is to use conversational

language many nervous nous speakers

distance themselves physically if you've

ever seen a nervous speaker present he

or she will say something like this

welcome I am really excited to be here

with

you they pull as far away from you as

possible because you threaten us

speakers you make us nervous so we want

to get away from you we do the same

thing linguistically we use language

that distances ourselves It's Not

Unusual to hear a nervous speaker say

something like one must consider the

ramifications or today we're going to

cover step one step two step three

that's very distancing language to be

more conversational use conversational

language instead of one must consider

say this is important to you we all need

to be concerned with do you hear that

inclusive conversational language has to

do with the pronouns instead of step one

step two step three first what we need

to do is this the second thing you

should consider is

here use conversational language so

being conversational can also help you

man manage your

anxiety the third technique I'd like to

share is research that I actually

started when I was an undergraduate here

I was very fortunate to study with Phil

zimbardo of the Stanford Prison

Experiment Fame many people don't know

that Zim actually was instrumental in

starting one of the very first shinness

institutes in the world and especially

in the country and I did some research

with him that looked at how your

orientation to time influences how you

react

and what we learned is if you can bring

yourself into the present moment rather

than being worried about the future

consequences you can actually be less

nervous most of us when we present are

worried about the future consequences my

students are worried they're not going

to get the right grade some of you are

worried you might not get the funding

you might not get the support you might

not get the laughs that you want all of

those are future States so if we can

bring ourselves into the present moment

we're not going to be as concerned about

those future States and therefore will

be less nervous there are lots of ways

to become present

oriented I know a professional speaker

he's paid $10,000 an hour to speak it's

a good gig he gets very nervous he's up

in front of crowds of thousands behind

the stage what he does is a 100 push-ups

right before he comes out you can't be

that physically active and not be in the

present moment now I'm not recommending

all of us go to that level of exertion

because he starts out of breath and

sweaty right but a walk around the

building before you speak that can do it

there are other ways if you've ever

watched athletes perform and get ready

to do their event they listen to music

they focus on a song or a playlist that

helps get them in the moment you can do

things as simple as counting backwards

from a 100 by tough numbers like

17 I'm going to pause because I know

people in the room are trying yeah gets

hard after that third or fourth one I

know my favorite way to get present

oriented is to say tongue twisters

saying a tongue twister forces you to be

in the moment otherwise you'll say it

wrong and it has the added benefit of

warming up your voice most nervous

speakers don't warm up their voice they

Retreat inside themselves and start

saying all these bad things to

themselves so saying a tongue twister

can help you be both present oriented

and warm up your

voice remember I said today we're going

to have a lot of participation I'm going

to ask you to repeat after me my

favorite tongue twister and I like this

tongue twister because if you say it

wrong you say a naughty word and I'm

going to be listening to see if I hear

any naughty words this morning okay

repeat after me it's only three phrases

I slit a

sheet a sheet I slit she and on that

slitted sheet I

sit oh very good no shits

excellent very good now in that moment

in that moment you weren't worried about

I'm in front of all these people this is

weird this guy's having me do this you

were so focused on saying it right and

trying to figure out what the naughty

word was that you were in the present

moment that's how easy it is so it's

very possible for us to manage our

anxiety we can do it initially by

greeting the anxiety when we begin to

feel those

signs we can do it when we reframe the

situation as a

conversation and we do it when we become

present oriented those are three of many

tools that exist to help you manage your

anxiety