NEVER EVER do this in your marriage! | Advice For Muslim Couples | Islamic Psychology | Haleh Banani

Haleh Banani, M.A. Clinical Psychology
11 May 202209:05

Summary

TLDRIn this video, Hala Badani emphasizes the detrimental impact of addressing marital disputes through text messages. She explains that texting grievances can escalate conflicts and create negative associations with communication. Instead, Hala advocates for resolving issues face-to-face, where tone and context are clearer. She advises using text messages for positive affirmations or practical needs, not for airing complaints. Hala also offers a free PDF on her website with seven tips to improve marriages, encouraging couples to invest in learning effective communication and conflict resolution skills to enhance their relationship.

Takeaways

  • πŸ’” Never address disputes or frustrations in your marriage through text messages.
  • πŸ“± Texting complaints can create a negative association with your spouse's messages.
  • 😞 Misinterpreting tone in text messages can escalate conflicts.
  • 🚫 Avoid texting when angry; it often leads to more frustration and unresolved issues.
  • ❀️ Use text messages to express love, miss someone, or request small tasks like picking up groceries.
  • πŸ—£οΈ Resolve conflicts face-to-face to avoid misunderstandings and negative assumptions.
  • πŸ’‘ Taking responsibility for your contributions to conflicts can improve your marriage.
  • πŸ‘« Improving your mood and effort in the relationship can lead to better interactions with your spouse.
  • πŸ› οΈ Learning conflict resolution and marriage skills is crucial for a healthy relationship.
  • πŸ“˜ Download the free 'Seven Gems to Save Your Marriage' PDF for guidance and practical tips.

Q & A

  • What is the main message Hala Badani is conveying in this video?

    -Hala Badani advises against resolving marital conflicts through text messages, emphasizing that face-to-face communication is essential for effective conflict resolution.

  • Why does Hala Badani discourage resolving conflicts via text messages?

    -She discourages it because text messages often lead to misinterpretation of tone, escalation of conflicts, and a negative association with communication from one's spouse.

  • What are the three appropriate uses for text messaging in a marriage, according to Hala Badani?

    -Text messages should be used to express love, express that you miss your spouse, and ask them to pick up items from the grocery store.

  • What potential negative outcomes does Hala Badani mention about using text messages for conflict resolution?

    -Negative outcomes include escalated arguments, misinterpretation of messages, emotional disconnection, and avoidance of communication.

  • What alternative does Hala Badani suggest for resolving conflicts?

    -She suggests resolving conflicts face-to-face, emphasizing the need to learn proper conflict resolution skills.

  • What are some benefits of face-to-face communication in conflict resolution, as mentioned in the video?

    -Face-to-face communication allows for better understanding of tone, immediate clarification of misunderstandings, and a more personal connection.

  • What does Hala Badani say about the anticipation of communication from a spouse?

    -She mentions that anticipation of communication should be positive and exciting, not dreaded due to constant negative messages.

  • How does Hala Badani recommend handling feelings of frustration in a marriage?

    -She recommends addressing frustrations in person rather than through text messages, ensuring a constructive and calm discussion.

  • What does Hala Badani say about taking responsibility in a marriage?

    -She advises individuals to take responsibility for their contributions to issues and not to punish their spouse through coldness or distance.

  • What resources does Hala Badani offer for improving marriage communication skills?

    -She offers a free PDF titled 'Seven Gems to Save Your Marriage' available on her website, which includes tips and strategies for improving marital communication.

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Related Tags
Marriage TipsConflict ResolutionHealthy CommunicationRelationship AdviceAvoid TextingPositive InteractionsMarriage CounselingIslamic GuidanceEmotional SupportPsychological Tips