What To Do If She Has a Boyfriend BUT You Want Her

Coach Kyle

7 Apr 202304:23

Summary

TLDRThe video script delves into the complexities of women's desires in relationships, highlighting the dichotomy between attraction and security. It suggests that women may seek external relationships to fulfill unmet needs, such as excitement if their current partner provides stability but lacks allure. The speaker shares personal anecdotes to illustrate how understanding a woman's unaddressed desires can lead to a successful pursuit. The narrative also touches on the concepts of pre-selection and hypergamy, emphasizing the importance of demonstrating value and trustworthiness over time to win a woman's affection.

Takeaways

👥 Relationships can be lacking in certain aspects, leading individuals to seek fulfillment elsewhere.
💔 Even in strong relationships, attraction can fade, causing dissatisfaction and a search for excitement.
🔒 When a partner provides security and protection, the individual may seek external attraction and excitement.
💡 Understanding the dynamics of a relationship can reveal what is missing and how one might fill that void.
🔄 People often seek the opposite of what they currently have, as seen in the transition from one relationship to another.
🤔 Long-term attraction and satisfaction are complex and can evolve over time, leading to new desires.
👂 Listening to someone's relationship struggles can provide insight into their unmet needs and desires.
🚀 Demonstrating qualities that are missing in someone's life can make you an attractive alternative.
🌟 Being the 'fun' or 'adventure' person can be appealing, even to those in relationships, as a form of escape.
📈 Consistently showing up as a better option over time can lead to being considered a more suitable partner.
📚 The speaker offers a coaching program to help improve communication and dating skills, addressing blind spots and goals.

Q & A

What is the main issue some women face in relationships according to the transcript?
-The main issue some women face in relationships, as described in the transcript, is the lack of a certain element that they are seeking to fill, such as attraction, connection, security, or trust, depending on what is missing in their current relationship.
What does the transcript suggest about the role of attraction in a relationship?
-The transcript suggests that attraction is a crucial element in a relationship, and its absence can lead to dissatisfaction, even if other aspects like security and trust are present.
What is the term used in the transcript to describe a man who can spark attraction in a woman's life?
-The term used in the transcript to describe such a man is 'a dude that can spark the attraction and create that lustful kind of an effect'.
How does the transcript describe the relationship dynamic where a woman feels secure but lacks attraction?
-The transcript describes this dynamic as one where the woman has her safety, security, and protection needs met, but the relationship is dull and lacks the excitement and attraction that she craves.
What is the term 'pre-selection' mentioned in the transcript, and how does it relate to attraction?
-Pre-selection refers to the phenomenon where a person is seen as more attractive because they are already chosen or desired by others. In the context of the transcript, it's a factor that can increase attraction in a relationship.
What is the term 'hypergamy' mentioned in the transcript, and how does it relate to relationships?
-Hypergamy is the practice of marrying or forming relationships with individuals of higher social status. In the transcript, it's mentioned as a real phenomenon where a woman may be drawn to a man who is perceived as a better option over time.
How does the transcript suggest a woman might seek to fill the void in her current relationship?
-The transcript suggests that a woman might seek to fill the void by either stepping out of her current relationship to find what's missing, or by being attracted to someone who can provide that missing element.
What is the advice given in the transcript for someone who wants to understand a woman's needs in a relationship?
-The advice given is to engage in conversation with the woman, preferably as a friend, to understand what is missing in her current relationship and potentially become the solution to that void.
How does the transcript describe the strategy of being 'the fun adventure guy'?
-The strategy of being 'the fun adventure guy' involves not focusing on the woman's current relationship status and instead being the source of excitement and adventure, similar to a 'rock star' persona.
What is the long-term approach suggested in the transcript for someone to become a better option in a woman's life?
-The long-term approach involves consistently demonstrating that you are a better option over time, showing pre-selection, and being present in her life, which can lead her to consider you as a more attractive and suitable partner.
What is the offer presented by the speaker at the end of the transcript?
-The speaker offers a coaching program where he will work one-on-one with individuals to analyze and improve their communication, pickup skills, and overall approach to dating and relationships.

Outlines

00:00

🔄 The Dynamics of Attraction and Relationship Fulfillment

This paragraph discusses the complexities of women's desires within relationships. It suggests that women may seek to fill a void in their lives, whether they are in a relationship or not. The speaker describes two scenarios: one where a woman is in a relationship with a strong provider but lacks attraction, and another where the woman is with someone who offers high attraction but lacks comfort and connection. The paragraph also touches on the idea of hypergamy and pre-selection, where women may be drawn to someone who can provide what they are currently lacking in their lives. The speaker uses personal anecdotes to illustrate his points, highlighting the importance of understanding what a woman might be missing in order to potentially become a solution to her needs.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡Attraction

Attraction in the context of the video refers to the initial pull or chemistry that draws two people towards each other. It is a crucial element in romantic relationships, often characterized by physical appeal, emotional connection, and a sense of excitement. The speaker mentions that some women might be in relationships where the attraction has faded, leading them to seek it elsewhere, as seen in the example where a woman moves from a relationship with high attraction but low comfort to one with high comfort but low attraction.

💡Provider

A provider in this video script is someone who offers security, support, and resources in a relationship. The term is used to describe a partner who may not be particularly attractive or exciting but offers stability and reliability. The speaker discusses how some women might be in relationships with strong providers but lack the excitement and attraction, leading them to seek fulfillment in other ways.

💡Connection

Connection in the video is about the emotional bond and understanding that forms between two people in a relationship. It involves trust, shared experiences, and a sense of being understood. The speaker uses the term to describe a relationship aspect that some women might prioritize, such as feeling secure and emotionally supported, even if the attraction is not as strong.

💡Security

Security in this context refers to the sense of safety and protection that a person feels in a relationship. It can be emotional, financial, or physical. The speaker mentions that women in relationships with strong security might not seek it externally, but instead look for other aspects like attraction or excitement.

💡Trust

Trust is a fundamental aspect of any relationship, indicating a belief in the reliability, truth, or ability of another person. In the video, trust is mentioned as a component of a strong relationship that provides a sense of safety and assurance. It is one of the elements that women might seek in a partner, especially if they feel it is lacking in their current relationship.

💡Pre-selection

Pre-selection is a concept used in the context of dating and attraction, suggesting that being desired by others can increase one's attractiveness to a potential partner. The speaker mentions pre-selection as a strategy to demonstrate desirability and increase one's appeal in the eyes of a woman, which can be a factor in attracting her away from her current relationship.

💡Hypergamy

Hypergamy is the social practice of marrying or forming relationships with someone of higher social status. In the video, it is used to describe the tendency of women to seek partners who are perceived as better or more desirable over time. The speaker suggests that demonstrating superior qualities and options can make a man more attractive as a potential partner.

💡Craving

Craving in this context refers to a strong desire or longing for something that is currently lacking or missing in one's life. The speaker discusses how women might crave certain aspects in their relationships, such as attraction or security, and how fulfilling these cravings can be a driving force in their decisions about relationships.

💡Dynamic

Dynamic in the video refers to the overall pattern of interaction and relationship between two people. It encompasses the balance of attraction, connection, security, and trust. The speaker uses the term to describe the different aspects of a relationship that might be lacking or in need of improvement, such as the balance between attraction and comfort.

💡Demonstration

Demonstration in this video script is about showing or proving something through actions rather than words. The speaker talks about demonstrating one's value and desirability over time to a woman, suggesting that actions speak louder than words in convincing her that you are a better option in a relationship.

💡Coaching Program

A coaching program in this context is a service offered by the speaker where individuals can work one-on-one with him to improve their communication, pickup skills, and overall approach to dating and relationships. The speaker mentions this as a way for viewers to apply the concepts discussed in the video and achieve their goals with women.

Highlights

Women in relationships may be deprived of certain aspects they seek to fill, such as attraction or security.

Some women in relationships have strong providers but lack attraction, leading them to seek it elsewhere.

A woman with a secure relationship might still crave attraction and excitement.

A woman's next relationship might be chosen to compensate for what was lacking in the previous one.

Attraction and comfort are often sought in different relationships, indicating a balance is desired.

The speaker dated a woman who sought comfort and connection after a relationship high in attraction but low in security.

Understanding a woman's current relationship dynamics can help predict what she might be missing.

Engaging in casual conversations with a woman can reveal what aspects of her relationship she is unsatisfied with.

Being a non-judgmental friend can allow a woman to open up about her relationship issues.

Observing what a woman is missing can potentially position you as a solution to her needs.

The speaker's girlfriend was initially in a relationship that lacked the excitement she craved.

Demonstrating pre-selection and maintaining your own life can make you an attractive alternative.

Being the 'fun guy' can be appealing even when a woman is in a relationship, offering a different kind of attraction.

Understanding a woman's relationship and demonstrating you are a better option over time can lead to success.

Hypergamy and pre-selection are real concepts that can influence a woman's choice in a partner.

Building trust and showing you are a better option can eventually lead a woman to consider you as a partner.

The speaker offers a coaching program to help improve communication and dating skills.