#84 - How to Overcome Social Anxiety
Summary
TLDRIn this reflective episode, the speaker recounts an embarrassing moment of taking selfies in the dark, observed by a stranger. This leads to a broader discussion on the inevitability of looking silly at times in life, especially when trying new things or learning. The speaker encourages embracing this reality, suggesting that it's a natural part of personal growth and not something to fear. With humor and relatability, the episode reminds us to not take ourselves too seriously and to laugh at our own awkwardness, as it's a universal experience that others quickly move past.
Takeaways
- ๐ Embarrassing moments are a part of life and everyone experiences them at some point.
- ๐คณ The speaker recounts an embarrassing moment of taking selfies in the dark, which was witnessed by a stranger.
- ๐ Initially feeling embarrassed when realizing someone was watching, the speaker later accepts and laughs at the situation.
- ๐ญ The idea that everyone has moments where they look silly is a central theme of the episode.
- ๐ถโโ๏ธ The only way to avoid looking silly is by doing nothing, which is also a form of silliness.
- ๐ Taking action and trying new things often involves the risk of looking silly, but it's a natural part of the process.
- ๐ The speaker uses a humorous language mix-up as an example of a silly moment that was quickly corrected and laughed off.
- ๐ฅ Most people are understanding and forgiving of others' embarrassing moments, often laughing and then moving on.
- ๐ The speaker encourages the audience to not fear looking silly, as it's a universal human experience.
- ๐ช Accepting that you will sometimes look silly can make life easier and allow for personal growth without the fear of embarrassment.
- ๐ Being able to laugh at oneself is a sign of self-acceptance and can reduce the impact of others' opinions on one's self-esteem.
Q & A
What was the speaker doing on the balcony of the Airbnb?
-The speaker was having a smoke break and taking selfies with the flash on their camera.
Why did the speaker feel embarrassed?
-The speaker felt embarrassed because they noticed someone on the street who seemed to be watching them take selfies.
How did the speaker initially react to the embarrassment?
-Initially, the speaker felt self-conscious and questioned how long the person had been watching them.
What was the speaker's attitude towards the embarrassing moment later on?
-The speaker later let go of the embarrassment, accepting that it was a silly moment and not a big deal.
What is the main message the speaker wants to convey in the episode?
-The main message is that everyone looks silly at some point in their lives, and it's not a big deal; one should not be afraid of looking silly.
Why did the speaker mention learning a foreign language in the context of looking silly?
-The speaker used learning a foreign language as an example to illustrate that making mistakes and looking silly is a natural part of the learning process.
What is the speaker's view on people who do not look silly?
-The speaker suggests that the only people who do not look silly are those who are not doing anything, implying that inaction is the only way to avoid looking silly.
What example did the speaker give to illustrate the point about looking silly?
-The speaker gave the example of mistakenly saying 'pregnant' instead of 'embarrassed' in Spanish, which led to laughter and correction from friends.
What advice does the speaker give for dealing with the fear of looking silly?
-The speaker advises to surrender to the fact that everyone looks silly at some point and to laugh at oneself, which makes it easier to not take oneself too seriously.
How does the speaker relate the idea of looking silly to the process of learning?
-The speaker relates it by stating that learning and looking cool rarely happen at the same time, implying that it's okay to look silly while learning new things.
What is the title of the episode mentioned by the speaker?
-The title of the episode is 'Learning and Looking Cool Rarely Happen at the Same Time'.
Outlines
๐ธ Embarrassing Selfie Session
The speaker begins the episode with an apology for any background noise and reflects on an embarrassing moment from the past. This incident occurred in November when they were staying in an Airbnb in Bangkok. They were taking creative selfies on the balcony, which was also part of the bathroom, late at night. After taking several photos with the flash in the dark, they noticed a man on the street who seemed to be watching them. Initially embarrassed by the thought of being observed, they quickly let go of the feeling, realizing that everyone has moments where they look silly. The speaker uses this story to emphasize that it's okay to look silly and that it's a part of life, especially when trying new things or stepping out of one's comfort zone.
๐ Accepting Silly Moments in Life
Continuing the theme of looking silly, the speaker shares a humorous anecdote about a language mix-up where they mistakenly said 'pregnant' instead of 'embarrassed' in Spanish. They explain that such moments are common and should be taken lightly. The speaker encourages the audience not to fear looking silly, especially when learning a new language or trying new things. They argue that most people will laugh, make a few jokes, and then move on, without holding it against the person. The speaker concludes by advising the audience to accept that they will look silly at times and to laugh at themselves, which can make life easier and more enjoyable. The episode's message is that learning and looking cool rarely happen at the same time, and it's essential to embrace the process of learning, even if it involves looking a bit silly.
Mindmap
Keywords
๐กself-portraits
๐กembarrassment
๐กreflection
๐กsilliness
๐กaction
๐กacceptance
๐กlaughter
๐กlearning
๐กmistakes
๐กperspective
๐กself-acceptance
Highlights
The speaker starts by apologizing for any background noise during the recording.
They reflect on past experiences and share an embarrassing moment from November last year in Bangkok.
While staying at an Airbnb, they decided to take selfies on the balcony at night using the flash.
After taking several selfies, they noticed someone on the street seemingly watching them.
The speaker initially felt embarrassed but then let go of those feelings.
They share the idea that everyone looks silly at some point in life and it's not a big deal.
The speaker uses a humorous example of mistakenly saying 'pregnant' instead of 'embarrassed' in Spanish.
They emphasize that people tend to laugh and move on from embarrassing moments, rather than dwelling on them.
The speaker encourages the listener to not be afraid of looking silly, especially when learning something new.
Surrendering to the fact that you will look silly at times can make life easier.
Being able to laugh at yourself is a sign of self-acceptance and not taking oneself too seriously.
The speaker argues that learning and looking cool rarely happen at the same time.
They suggest that when you're learning, looking silly is a natural part of the process.
The episode concludes with the message that everyone looks silly at some point and it's okay.
The speaker encourages the listener to embrace the fact that they will look silly and to not let it hold them back.
Transcripts
let me start this episode by offering my
apologies for any noise that you hear
from the street sitting by my window
having a smoke break real quick and I
was just thinking to myself reflecting
on the past past experiences things I've
learned things I've done things I've
said things I've seen places I've
been reflecting on the past and uh I
don't know why or how but this
embarrassing moment popped into my head
this was I guess November last year I
had just come back to Bangkok from
Indonesia and I was staying in this
Airbnb until I found an apartment anyway
at the Airbnb there was this little
balcony area where you could go outside
smoke it was also part of the bathroom
so you could wash your hands anyway I
was out there having a smoke break as
well and it was night time it was dark
outside and so I'm sitting there smoking
just chilling and I don't know why or
where the idea came from but I had the
idea to start taking some selfies like I
used to really be into photography and
when I didn't have any models to
photograph I just got really good at
photographing myself like doing
self-portraits and many different
creative ways I was always trying to
find a new way to do it right and so
that's I guess where I got the idea from
so I turned on the flash on my camera
and started trying to take some creative
selfies right I was like oh it's going
to be dope it's going to be different
it's going to look edgy it's going to be
some cool [ย __ย ] so I'm snapping flick
after flick after flick and after I
don't know like 45 seconds of that or a
minute of that just snapping picture
after picture in the dark mind you
flashing again and again I look over to
my right and I would say I don't know
like 50 M 60 M from me there was this
dude in the street who seemed to be
looking at me like watching me do what I
was doing and I don't know if he was or
not he was too far for me to actually
see his eyes but it seemed like he was
looking in my direction watching me
[ย __ย ] snap all these selfies
so of course in that moment you know I
see him and I'm like you know that
moment when like you realize somebody
was watching you do something that's
kind of silly you know sitting there
like snapping photos of yourself
especially selfies even if it's not
actually silly it just look silly you
know what I mean you're just standing
there snapping pck after pick after pick
it's it's just [ย __ย ] silly dog so I
saw him and I thought he was looking at
me and of course in that moment I feel a
bit embarrassed it's like oh damn long
has he been standing there watching me
[ย __ย ] uh do this goddamn photo shoot
with myself did he see all of that right
but you know at this point in my life
like even embarrassing moments like that
you might feel embarrassed initially but
then kind of just let it go it's like it
is what it is if he was watching me do
what I was doing it's like ain't nothing
I can do about that you know what I'm
saying so it just is what it is and I
let it go anyway fast forward to now and
for whatever reason that moment popped
into my head and I just couldn't help
but laugh at myself cuz it's one of
those things that's really not a big
deal like if you don't have anybody to
take a picture of you and you want a
picture of yourself you take a picture
of yourself it's not a big deal but it
just looks and feels silly especially
when you know somebody's watching you do
it right and as I was laughing at myself
thinking about the moment I just ended
up saying to myself like so what bro
everybody looks silly at some point
everybody looks silly at some point and
this is the point of the episode this is
what I wanted to share with you is the
fact not the idea the fact that all of
us look [ย __ย ] silly at one point or
another in life and it's no big deal bro
the only people that don't look silly
are the people who aren't doing
[ย __ย ] and I don't mean that as a shot to
people who aren't doing [ย __ย ] if you like
to sit around doing nothing if you like
to chill that's to you more power to you
bro but that's not the point I'm just
saying the only way you can avoid
looking silly at some point is by
sitting around and doing absolutely
nothing because just by taking action
you're running the risk of looking silly
especially if you're doing something
that you don't normally do something
that you've never done before something
that's not familiar to you you're going
to look silly bro at some
point and it's no big
deal it's really not a big deal and to
prove this to you I'm going to give you
the the following example I know a lot
of y'all listening to this speak Spanish
it's your mother tongue
mies you are going to know exactly what
I'm talking about so here's an example
for you if I say if we're talking in
Spanish and I show you in like a a funny
video of me dancing as a kid I'm dancing
to like Michael Jackson or something
trying to do the Thriller dance I'm
showing you a video on my
phone and it's you me and let's say
three other friends we're all speaking
Spanish right right you guys watch this
video you're laughing at me my cheeks
turn red I start to blush it's
embarrassing and I say ah
it's some of y'all might be laughing
right now and that's because you know
what I'm trying to say and what I
actually said when I say imas you know
I'm trying to say embarrassed but that's
a false friend between English and
Spanish instead of saying I'm
embarrassed I actually said I'm
pregnant which is neither true nor
possible right so it's silly it's not
that big of a deal but it's silly it
makes you laugh and then you teach me no
no no no you mean gono you mean
embarrassed ashamed Noto you're not
pregnant right just a silly moment where
you correct me we all laugh about it and
then we just move the [ย __ย ] on with our
lives right you're probably not going to
sit there for the next hour talking
about how [ย __ย ] stupid I am making fun
me and [ย __ย ] no it's just a silly moment
bro it's not a big deal would you guys
look at me differently if you heard me
say okay no you wouldn't you probably
laugh and be like no no no no no this is
the correct word this is the word you're
looking for and then we would just move
on with our
lives
right so I want you to remember that the
next time you're afraid of looking silly
remember a simple example just like that
and how if you were in the position of
the person witnessing an embarrassing
moment you probably wouldn't make a big
deal about
it you might laugh for a little bit and
then just let it go and what I'm trying
to get you to consider is that most
people are just like you in that sense
if you say or do some silly [ย __ย ] most
people might laugh a little bit make a
couple jokes give you a hard time and
then they just move on with their lives
it's not that big of a deal especially
when we're talking about speaking a
foreign language bro I mean this is
universal this can apply to anything in
life but definitely a foreign language
is not a big
deal you're going to look silly at some
point we all look silly at some point
and like I said the only way you can
avoid that is by sitting at home doing
nothing going nowhere and talking to no
one which depending on who you ask is
also silly it's all about
perspective so just get that through
your head bro you're going to look silly
at some point and if you can just
surrender to that
fact life will be so much easier for you
if you can just surrender to the fact
that you will look silly and in the
moments when you do look silly instead
of feeling anxious or looking for a way
to get out of it or trying to talk your
way out of it or explain yourself just
surrender to the fact that right now
it's your turn to look
silly yesterday it was somebody else's
turn tomorrow it's going to be somebody
else's turn but right now it's your turn
you look silly
bro you look silly so if you can just
surrender to that fact you might even be
able to laugh at yourself and that is
the best position to be
in when you've accepted yourself at such
a level or to such an extent that you
can just laugh at yourself then who
gives a [ย __ย ] who else is laughing at you
cuz you're laughing at
yourself you don't really care Who's
laughing at you at that point because
you are capable of laughing at yourself
you're not taking yourself too seriously
you've accepted that you're not perfect
you've accepted that you're going to
[ย __ย ] up sometimes you're going to look
silly people are going to disagree with
you some people won't like you other
people will love you it's just what it
is bro once you can accept that
everything becomes easier
bro cuz learning and looking cool rarely
happen at the same time episode number
60 that's what it's all about learning
and looking cool rarely happen at the
same time so while you're learning while
you're doing new things you're probably
going to look silly bro and it's not
that big of a deal and if you don't
believe me refer back to the example I
gave you a couple minutes ago just think
about any time that somebody trying to
learn your language said some silly [ย __ย ]
was it the end of the world no did you
try to crucify them no did you try to
make them feel like [ย __ย ] no you just
laughed about it and then moved on with
your life which is what most people are
going to do the next time you say or do
some silly
[ย __ย ] so that's what I wanted to put on
your brain today my friend think about
it consider it write it about it do
whatever you got to do but just remember
man we all look silly at some point and
it's no big deal
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