#84 - How to Overcome Social Anxiety

Real English Radio
1 Apr 202409:30

Summary

TLDRIn this reflective episode, the speaker recounts an embarrassing moment of taking selfies in the dark, observed by a stranger. This leads to a broader discussion on the inevitability of looking silly at times in life, especially when trying new things or learning. The speaker encourages embracing this reality, suggesting that it's a natural part of personal growth and not something to fear. With humor and relatability, the episode reminds us to not take ourselves too seriously and to laugh at our own awkwardness, as it's a universal experience that others quickly move past.

Takeaways

  • ๐Ÿ˜… Embarrassing moments are a part of life and everyone experiences them at some point.
  • ๐Ÿคณ The speaker recounts an embarrassing moment of taking selfies in the dark, which was witnessed by a stranger.
  • ๐Ÿ‘€ Initially feeling embarrassed when realizing someone was watching, the speaker later accepts and laughs at the situation.
  • ๐Ÿ’ญ The idea that everyone has moments where they look silly is a central theme of the episode.
  • ๐Ÿšถโ€โ™‚๏ธ The only way to avoid looking silly is by doing nothing, which is also a form of silliness.
  • ๐ŸŒŸ Taking action and trying new things often involves the risk of looking silly, but it's a natural part of the process.
  • ๐Ÿ˜„ The speaker uses a humorous language mix-up as an example of a silly moment that was quickly corrected and laughed off.
  • ๐Ÿ‘ฅ Most people are understanding and forgiving of others' embarrassing moments, often laughing and then moving on.
  • ๐Ÿ  The speaker encourages the audience to not fear looking silly, as it's a universal human experience.
  • ๐Ÿ’ช Accepting that you will sometimes look silly can make life easier and allow for personal growth without the fear of embarrassment.
  • ๐Ÿ˜† Being able to laugh at oneself is a sign of self-acceptance and can reduce the impact of others' opinions on one's self-esteem.

Q & A

  • What was the speaker doing on the balcony of the Airbnb?

    -The speaker was having a smoke break and taking selfies with the flash on their camera.

  • Why did the speaker feel embarrassed?

    -The speaker felt embarrassed because they noticed someone on the street who seemed to be watching them take selfies.

  • How did the speaker initially react to the embarrassment?

    -Initially, the speaker felt self-conscious and questioned how long the person had been watching them.

  • What was the speaker's attitude towards the embarrassing moment later on?

    -The speaker later let go of the embarrassment, accepting that it was a silly moment and not a big deal.

  • What is the main message the speaker wants to convey in the episode?

    -The main message is that everyone looks silly at some point in their lives, and it's not a big deal; one should not be afraid of looking silly.

  • Why did the speaker mention learning a foreign language in the context of looking silly?

    -The speaker used learning a foreign language as an example to illustrate that making mistakes and looking silly is a natural part of the learning process.

  • What is the speaker's view on people who do not look silly?

    -The speaker suggests that the only people who do not look silly are those who are not doing anything, implying that inaction is the only way to avoid looking silly.

  • What example did the speaker give to illustrate the point about looking silly?

    -The speaker gave the example of mistakenly saying 'pregnant' instead of 'embarrassed' in Spanish, which led to laughter and correction from friends.

  • What advice does the speaker give for dealing with the fear of looking silly?

    -The speaker advises to surrender to the fact that everyone looks silly at some point and to laugh at oneself, which makes it easier to not take oneself too seriously.

  • How does the speaker relate the idea of looking silly to the process of learning?

    -The speaker relates it by stating that learning and looking cool rarely happen at the same time, implying that it's okay to look silly while learning new things.

  • What is the title of the episode mentioned by the speaker?

    -The title of the episode is 'Learning and Looking Cool Rarely Happen at the Same Time'.

Outlines

00:00

๐Ÿ“ธ Embarrassing Selfie Session

The speaker begins the episode with an apology for any background noise and reflects on an embarrassing moment from the past. This incident occurred in November when they were staying in an Airbnb in Bangkok. They were taking creative selfies on the balcony, which was also part of the bathroom, late at night. After taking several photos with the flash in the dark, they noticed a man on the street who seemed to be watching them. Initially embarrassed by the thought of being observed, they quickly let go of the feeling, realizing that everyone has moments where they look silly. The speaker uses this story to emphasize that it's okay to look silly and that it's a part of life, especially when trying new things or stepping out of one's comfort zone.

05:01

๐Ÿ˜… Accepting Silly Moments in Life

Continuing the theme of looking silly, the speaker shares a humorous anecdote about a language mix-up where they mistakenly said 'pregnant' instead of 'embarrassed' in Spanish. They explain that such moments are common and should be taken lightly. The speaker encourages the audience not to fear looking silly, especially when learning a new language or trying new things. They argue that most people will laugh, make a few jokes, and then move on, without holding it against the person. The speaker concludes by advising the audience to accept that they will look silly at times and to laugh at themselves, which can make life easier and more enjoyable. The episode's message is that learning and looking cool rarely happen at the same time, and it's essential to embrace the process of learning, even if it involves looking a bit silly.

Mindmap

Keywords

๐Ÿ’กself-portraits

Self-portraits refer to photographs taken by the subject of the image, usually of themselves. In the script, the speaker mentions their interest in photography and their skill in taking self-portraits, particularly when they didn't have models to photograph. This concept is central to the story of the embarrassing moment when the speaker was taking selfies on a balcony, which someone on the street seemed to be watching.

๐Ÿ’กembarrassment

Embarrassment is a feeling of self-consciousness, shame, or awkwardness caused by one's actions or circumstances. The script revolves around the theme of embarrassment, particularly the speaker's realization that someone might have seen them taking selfies. The speaker uses this moment to reflect on the universality of feeling embarrassed and the importance of not letting it hold one back.

๐Ÿ’กreflection

Reflection involves deep thought or consideration about past experiences or actions. The speaker begins the script by mentioning their reflection on past experiences, which leads to recalling the embarrassing selfie incident. This concept is integral to the video's theme of learning from and accepting moments of silliness.

๐Ÿ’กsilliness

Silliness is the quality of being funny or absurd, often in a light-hearted or endearing way. The speaker uses the term to describe actions that may seem foolish or out of the ordinary, such as taking selfies in the dark or making a language mistake. The script emphasizes that everyone experiences silliness and that it's a natural part of life and learning.

๐Ÿ’กaction

Action refers to the process of doing something rather than being passive. In the script, the speaker suggests that taking action, especially when trying new things, can lead to moments of silliness. The message is that it's better to take action and potentially look silly than to do nothing at all.

๐Ÿ’กacceptance

Acceptance is the act of embracing or being at peace with a situation or aspect of oneself. The speaker encourages the audience to accept that they will look silly at times and that this acceptance can lead to a more relaxed and enjoyable life. Acceptance is key to the video's message of self-compassion and not taking oneself too seriously.

๐Ÿ’กlaughter

Laughter is the physical expression of amusement or joy, often in response to something funny or absurd. The script uses laughter as a way to illustrate how people react to silliness, suggesting that a moment of laughter can quickly move on without lasting judgment or negative consequences.

๐Ÿ’กlearning

Learning is the process of acquiring new knowledge, skills, or understanding. The speaker connects learning with the likelihood of looking silly, as trying new things can result in mistakes or awkward moments. The video's theme includes the idea that learning and looking cool rarely happen at the same time, emphasizing the importance of embracing the learning process despite potential embarrassment.

๐Ÿ’กmistakes

Mistakes are errors or incorrect actions. In the context of the script, mistakes are associated with language learning, where the speaker humorously recounts a mix-up between 'embarrassed' and 'pregnant' in Spanish. This example serves to show that mistakes can lead to moments of silliness but are a natural part of learning and personal growth.

๐Ÿ’กperspective

Perspective refers to a particular attitude, way of thinking, or viewpoint. The speaker encourages the audience to change their perspective on silliness, suggesting that it's all about how one views their own actions and those of others. The video's message is that adopting a more forgiving and humorous perspective can make life easier and more enjoyable.

๐Ÿ’กself-acceptance

Self-acceptance is the recognition and positive regard of oneself, including one's flaws and imperfections. The script emphasizes the importance of self-acceptance in dealing with moments of silliness, stating that being able to laugh at oneself is a sign of a healthy self-acceptance that can alleviate the sting of embarrassment.

Highlights

The speaker starts by apologizing for any background noise during the recording.

They reflect on past experiences and share an embarrassing moment from November last year in Bangkok.

While staying at an Airbnb, they decided to take selfies on the balcony at night using the flash.

After taking several selfies, they noticed someone on the street seemingly watching them.

The speaker initially felt embarrassed but then let go of those feelings.

They share the idea that everyone looks silly at some point in life and it's not a big deal.

The speaker uses a humorous example of mistakenly saying 'pregnant' instead of 'embarrassed' in Spanish.

They emphasize that people tend to laugh and move on from embarrassing moments, rather than dwelling on them.

The speaker encourages the listener to not be afraid of looking silly, especially when learning something new.

Surrendering to the fact that you will look silly at times can make life easier.

Being able to laugh at yourself is a sign of self-acceptance and not taking oneself too seriously.

The speaker argues that learning and looking cool rarely happen at the same time.

They suggest that when you're learning, looking silly is a natural part of the process.

The episode concludes with the message that everyone looks silly at some point and it's okay.

The speaker encourages the listener to embrace the fact that they will look silly and to not let it hold them back.

Transcripts

play00:00

let me start this episode by offering my

play00:02

apologies for any noise that you hear

play00:04

from the street sitting by my window

play00:06

having a smoke break real quick and I

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was just thinking to myself reflecting

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on the past past experiences things I've

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learned things I've done things I've

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said things I've seen places I've

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been reflecting on the past and uh I

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don't know why or how but this

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embarrassing moment popped into my head

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this was I guess November last year I

play00:30

had just come back to Bangkok from

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Indonesia and I was staying in this

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Airbnb until I found an apartment anyway

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at the Airbnb there was this little

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balcony area where you could go outside

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smoke it was also part of the bathroom

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so you could wash your hands anyway I

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was out there having a smoke break as

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well and it was night time it was dark

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outside and so I'm sitting there smoking

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just chilling and I don't know why or

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where the idea came from but I had the

play00:56

idea to start taking some selfies like I

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used to really be into photography and

play01:01

when I didn't have any models to

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photograph I just got really good at

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photographing myself like doing

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self-portraits and many different

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creative ways I was always trying to

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find a new way to do it right and so

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that's I guess where I got the idea from

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so I turned on the flash on my camera

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and started trying to take some creative

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selfies right I was like oh it's going

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to be dope it's going to be different

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it's going to look edgy it's going to be

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some cool [ย __ย ] so I'm snapping flick

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after flick after flick and after I

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don't know like 45 seconds of that or a

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minute of that just snapping picture

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after picture in the dark mind you

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flashing again and again I look over to

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my right and I would say I don't know

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like 50 M 60 M from me there was this

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dude in the street who seemed to be

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looking at me like watching me do what I

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was doing and I don't know if he was or

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not he was too far for me to actually

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see his eyes but it seemed like he was

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looking in my direction watching me

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[ย __ย ] snap all these selfies

play02:00

so of course in that moment you know I

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see him and I'm like you know that

play02:04

moment when like you realize somebody

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was watching you do something that's

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kind of silly you know sitting there

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like snapping photos of yourself

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especially selfies even if it's not

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actually silly it just look silly you

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know what I mean you're just standing

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there snapping pck after pick after pick

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it's it's just [ย __ย ] silly dog so I

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saw him and I thought he was looking at

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me and of course in that moment I feel a

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bit embarrassed it's like oh damn long

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has he been standing there watching me

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[ย __ย ] uh do this goddamn photo shoot

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with myself did he see all of that right

play02:39

but you know at this point in my life

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like even embarrassing moments like that

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you might feel embarrassed initially but

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then kind of just let it go it's like it

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is what it is if he was watching me do

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what I was doing it's like ain't nothing

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I can do about that you know what I'm

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saying so it just is what it is and I

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let it go anyway fast forward to now and

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for whatever reason that moment popped

play03:01

into my head and I just couldn't help

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but laugh at myself cuz it's one of

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those things that's really not a big

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deal like if you don't have anybody to

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take a picture of you and you want a

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picture of yourself you take a picture

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of yourself it's not a big deal but it

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just looks and feels silly especially

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when you know somebody's watching you do

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it right and as I was laughing at myself

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thinking about the moment I just ended

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up saying to myself like so what bro

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everybody looks silly at some point

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everybody looks silly at some point and

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this is the point of the episode this is

play03:34

what I wanted to share with you is the

play03:37

fact not the idea the fact that all of

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us look [ย __ย ] silly at one point or

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another in life and it's no big deal bro

play03:45

the only people that don't look silly

play03:48

are the people who aren't doing

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[ย __ย ] and I don't mean that as a shot to

play03:54

people who aren't doing [ย __ย ] if you like

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to sit around doing nothing if you like

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to chill that's to you more power to you

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bro but that's not the point I'm just

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saying the only way you can avoid

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looking silly at some point is by

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sitting around and doing absolutely

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nothing because just by taking action

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you're running the risk of looking silly

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especially if you're doing something

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that you don't normally do something

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that you've never done before something

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that's not familiar to you you're going

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to look silly bro at some

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point and it's no big

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deal it's really not a big deal and to

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prove this to you I'm going to give you

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the the following example I know a lot

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of y'all listening to this speak Spanish

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it's your mother tongue

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mies you are going to know exactly what

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I'm talking about so here's an example

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for you if I say if we're talking in

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Spanish and I show you in like a a funny

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video of me dancing as a kid I'm dancing

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to like Michael Jackson or something

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trying to do the Thriller dance I'm

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showing you a video on my

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phone and it's you me and let's say

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three other friends we're all speaking

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Spanish right right you guys watch this

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video you're laughing at me my cheeks

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turn red I start to blush it's

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embarrassing and I say ah

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it's some of y'all might be laughing

play05:15

right now and that's because you know

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what I'm trying to say and what I

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actually said when I say imas you know

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I'm trying to say embarrassed but that's

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a false friend between English and

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Spanish instead of saying I'm

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embarrassed I actually said I'm

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pregnant which is neither true nor

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possible right so it's silly it's not

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that big of a deal but it's silly it

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makes you laugh and then you teach me no

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no no no you mean gono you mean

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embarrassed ashamed Noto you're not

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pregnant right just a silly moment where

play05:49

you correct me we all laugh about it and

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then we just move the [ย __ย ] on with our

play05:53

lives right you're probably not going to

play05:55

sit there for the next hour talking

play05:57

about how [ย __ย ] stupid I am making fun

play05:59

me and [ย __ย ] no it's just a silly moment

play06:01

bro it's not a big deal would you guys

play06:04

look at me differently if you heard me

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say okay no you wouldn't you probably

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laugh and be like no no no no no this is

play06:11

the correct word this is the word you're

play06:13

looking for and then we would just move

play06:14

on with our

play06:17

lives

play06:18

right so I want you to remember that the

play06:21

next time you're afraid of looking silly

play06:23

remember a simple example just like that

play06:25

and how if you were in the position of

play06:28

the person witnessing an embarrassing

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moment you probably wouldn't make a big

play06:33

deal about

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it you might laugh for a little bit and

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then just let it go and what I'm trying

play06:40

to get you to consider is that most

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people are just like you in that sense

play06:45

if you say or do some silly [ย __ย ] most

play06:49

people might laugh a little bit make a

play06:50

couple jokes give you a hard time and

play06:53

then they just move on with their lives

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it's not that big of a deal especially

play06:57

when we're talking about speaking a

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foreign language bro I mean this is

play07:00

universal this can apply to anything in

play07:01

life but definitely a foreign language

play07:04

is not a big

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deal you're going to look silly at some

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point we all look silly at some point

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and like I said the only way you can

play07:11

avoid that is by sitting at home doing

play07:13

nothing going nowhere and talking to no

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one which depending on who you ask is

play07:17

also silly it's all about

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perspective so just get that through

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your head bro you're going to look silly

play07:24

at some point and if you can just

play07:26

surrender to that

play07:28

fact life will be so much easier for you

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if you can just surrender to the fact

play07:32

that you will look silly and in the

play07:34

moments when you do look silly instead

play07:36

of feeling anxious or looking for a way

play07:38

to get out of it or trying to talk your

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way out of it or explain yourself just

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surrender to the fact that right now

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it's your turn to look

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silly yesterday it was somebody else's

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turn tomorrow it's going to be somebody

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else's turn but right now it's your turn

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you look silly

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bro you look silly so if you can just

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surrender to that fact you might even be

play07:57

able to laugh at yourself and that is

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the best position to be

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in when you've accepted yourself at such

play08:05

a level or to such an extent that you

play08:07

can just laugh at yourself then who

play08:09

gives a [ย __ย ] who else is laughing at you

play08:10

cuz you're laughing at

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yourself you don't really care Who's

play08:14

laughing at you at that point because

play08:15

you are capable of laughing at yourself

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you're not taking yourself too seriously

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you've accepted that you're not perfect

play08:21

you've accepted that you're going to

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[ย __ย ] up sometimes you're going to look

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silly people are going to disagree with

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you some people won't like you other

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people will love you it's just what it

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is bro once you can accept that

play08:32

everything becomes easier

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bro cuz learning and looking cool rarely

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happen at the same time episode number

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60 that's what it's all about learning

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and looking cool rarely happen at the

play08:47

same time so while you're learning while

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you're doing new things you're probably

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going to look silly bro and it's not

play08:52

that big of a deal and if you don't

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believe me refer back to the example I

play08:57

gave you a couple minutes ago just think

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about any time that somebody trying to

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learn your language said some silly [ย __ย ]

play09:03

was it the end of the world no did you

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try to crucify them no did you try to

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make them feel like [ย __ย ] no you just

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laughed about it and then moved on with

play09:12

your life which is what most people are

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going to do the next time you say or do

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some silly

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[ย __ย ] so that's what I wanted to put on

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your brain today my friend think about

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it consider it write it about it do

play09:24

whatever you got to do but just remember

play09:25

man we all look silly at some point and

play09:29

it's no big deal

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Related Tags
Self-ReflectionEmbarrassmentLife LessonsHumorPersonal GrowthSelf-AcceptanceLearningLaughterSillinessAuthenticity