how to create your ALTER EGO for ultimate CONFIDENCE | step by step guide, mindset shifts & tips

Tam Kaur
26 Jul 202424:04

Summary

TLDRIn this inspiring video, the creator reveals her journey from a shy, insecure individual to a confident, successful influencer with over 2 million followers. She attributes her transformation to the creation of an alter ego, which allowed her to adopt desired traits and overcome self-doubt. The video offers a step-by-step guide on developing one's alter ego for personal growth, emphasizing its psychological benefits and practical applications in enhancing self-control and confidence. By embracing a new persona, viewers are encouraged to step out of their comfort zones and achieve their full potential.

Takeaways

  • ๐ŸŒŸ The video's speaker, once a shy and insecure individual, transformed into a confident full-time influencer with over 2 million followers by creating an alter ego named 'Tam'.
  • ๐Ÿ”„ The concept of an alter ego is introduced as an alternate self with desired characteristics, which can be different from one's original self.
  • ๐ŸŽญ The alter ego is not about pretending but embodying the ideal traits until they naturally become part of oneself, akin to the 'Batman effect' in psychology.
  • ๐Ÿš€ The benefits of having an alter ego include increased self-control and confidence, allowing one to distance from past limitations and embrace new potential.
  • ๐Ÿค” The importance of understanding one's 'why' when creating an alter ego is emphasized, as it provides motivation and consistency throughout the process.
  • ๐Ÿ†• Creating an alter ego involves identifying new traits and characteristics that one wishes to embody, which can be inspired by admired individuals.
  • ๐Ÿ” Deep mapping of the alter ego involves understanding every detail of the new persona, ensuring a clear and effective transformation.
  • ๐Ÿ‘— Choosing an avatar for the alter ego may include adopting a new name or changing one's appearance to further distinguish the new identity.
  • ๐Ÿ“… Deciding when to bring out the alter ego is crucial, as it should align with specific situations or goals, not becoming a constant persona.
  • ๐ŸŽฏ Practicing the alter ego in various scenarios helps to integrate it into one's life, allowing for the traits to feel more natural over time.
  • โœ๏ธ The video concludes with homework prompts for viewers to reflect on their desired qualities, what holds them back, and how they would act without the burden of their past.

Q & A

  • What is the main message of the video about the speaker's personal transformation?

    -The main message is that the speaker, once a shy and insecure individual, has transformed into a confident full-time influencer with a large following by creating and embodying an alter ego named Tam, which helped her overcome her insecurities and achieve her goals.

  • What is the significance of having an alter ego according to the video?

    -An alter ego is significant as it represents an ideal version of oneself, free from past insecurities and limitations. It allows an individual to embody desired characteristics and behaviors until they naturally become part of their personality.

  • Why did the speaker choose to create an alter ego?

    -The speaker created an alter ego to reinvent herself and step out of her comfort zone. She was tired of her past self and wanted to adopt new traits such as confidence and social skills, which she believed were holding her back from achieving her desires.

  • What is the 'Batman effect' mentioned in the video?

    -The 'Batman effect' is a psychological strategy where an individual adopts an alter ego to move forward with confidence in stressful situations. It is a term used in psychology to describe the benefits of having an alter ego.

  • How does the alter ego provide greater self-control and confidence?

    -The alter ego provides greater self-control and confidence by allowing an individual to distance themselves from their past identity and immediate feelings, enabling them to approach situations more objectively and beneficially.

  • What are some practical steps to create an alter ego as outlined in the video?

    -The video outlines steps such as identifying the purpose of the alter ego, determining new traits, deep mapping of the alter ego's characteristics, choosing an avatar, defining values and core identity, deciding when to channel the alter ego, and practicing until it becomes natural.

  • Why is the 'why' behind creating an alter ego important?

    -The 'why' is important as it provides the motivation and consistency needed throughout the journey of embodying the alter ego. It helps to maintain the habit and ensures the alter ego serves its intended purpose effectively.

  • How can someone decide on the traits for their alter ego?

    -One can decide on the traits for their alter ego by identifying areas they wish to improve or the characteristics they admire in others. This could involve considering people they look up to and what qualities they possess that they would like to emulate.

  • What is the role of appearance in creating an alter ego?

    -Appearance plays a role in creating an alter ego as it helps to distance oneself from their original identity. Changing aspects of appearance, such as hairstyle, clothing, or accessories, can reinforce the new persona and make it easier to step into the alter ego's shoes.

  • How can practicing the alter ego in various situations benefit an individual?

    -Practicing the alter ego in various situations helps an individual to become comfortable with their new persona, allowing it to be integrated seamlessly into their life. It also provides opportunities to evaluate and adjust the alter ego as needed.

  • What book is recommended for further understanding of the alter ego concept?

    -The book recommended for further understanding of the alter ego concept is 'The Alter Ego Effect' by Todd Herman.

Outlines

00:00

๐ŸŒŸ Overcoming Insecurities to Become an Influencer

The speaker shares a personal journey from being an insecure, shy girl to becoming a successful influencer with over 2 million followers. She discusses creating an alter ego named 'Tam,' which helped her gain confidence and achieve her goals. The video promises to teach viewers how to develop their own alter ego to unlock their potential and improve their self-perception. The speaker also promotes her social media, upcoming book, and an audiobook version with exclusive content.

05:01

๐ŸŽญ Embracing the Alter Ego for Personal Growth

This paragraph delves into the concept of an alter ego, explaining it as a tool for personal development rather than deception. The speaker clarifies that an alter ego is about embodying desired traits until they become natural. She shares her experience of using an alter ego to overcome shyness and become more sociable. The paragraph also references celebrities like Beyoncรฉ who have used alter egos to enhance their stage presence and confidence.

10:01

๐Ÿ›  The Step-by-Step Guide to Creating an Alter Ego

The speaker outlines a seven-step process for creating an alter ego, starting with identifying the 'why' behind its creation. She emphasizes defining new traits and deep-mapping the alter ego's characteristics, including their approach to various life situations. The paragraph discusses the importance of understanding the alter ego's values, core identity, and history to ensure it aligns with the individual's aspirations.

15:02

๐Ÿ‘— Defining the Alter Ego's Appearance and Activation

This section focuses on choosing an avatar for the alter ego, which may involve a new name or changes in physical appearance to symbolize the new identity. The speaker also discusses determining when to activate the alter ego, suggesting it's not a full-time identity but rather a tool used in specific situations to enhance confidence and performance.

20:04

๐ŸŽ– Practicing the Alter Ego Until It Becomes Second Nature

The final step in the guide encourages practice to make the alter ego feel natural. The speaker advises experimenting with the alter ego in various situations to evaluate its fit and influence on one's mindset. She emphasizes the importance of authenticity and adjusting the alter ego as needed to ensure it supports personal growth and confidence.

๐Ÿ“ Reflecting on Personal Qualities and the Path Forward

In the concluding chapter, the speaker provides reflective questions to help viewers identify the qualities they wish to possess and understand what might be holding them back. She prompts viewers to envision how they would act without the burden of past experiences, encouraging them to use this perspective to shape their alter ego and start their personal development journey.

Mindmap

Keywords

๐Ÿ’กInsecurity

Insecurity refers to a feeling of uncertainty and anxiety about oneself, often stemming from a lack of confidence. In the video, the speaker describes her past self as being plagued by insecurities, which affected her daily life and interactions with others. The concept of overcoming insecurities is central to the video's theme of personal transformation.

๐Ÿ’กAlter Ego

An alter ego is an alternate personality or identity that one adopts, often to exhibit characteristics they wish to have but feel do not come naturally. The video's narrative revolves around the speaker's journey from a shy, insecure individual to a confident influencer by creating and embodying an alter ego named 'Tam', which has helped her achieve success and self-acceptance.

๐Ÿ’กSelf-Belief

Self-belief is the confidence in one's own abilities and judgments. The speaker mentions a lack of self-belief as a barrier to achieving her desires. The video encourages viewers to develop self-belief through the creation of an alter ego, which can help in manifesting the desired traits and overcoming self-doubt.

๐Ÿ’กPublic Speaking

Public speaking is the act of addressing an audience in a formal setting. The video script mentions the speaker's initial fear of public speaking, which she overcame by adopting her alter ego. This skill is highlighted as an important aspect of her transformation and career development.

๐Ÿ’กConfidence

Confidence is a feeling of self-assurance and certainty in one's abilities. The video's theme emphasizes building confidence as a key to personal and professional success. The speaker's transformation into her alter ego is a testament to how confidence can be cultivated and used to achieve goals.

๐Ÿ’กPersonal Development

Personal development refers to the process of improving one's skills, abilities, and knowledge to enhance personal growth. The video provides a step-by-step guide to creating an alter ego as a method of personal development, allowing individuals to adopt new traits and behaviors that can lead to a more fulfilling life.

๐Ÿ’กSelf-Perception

Self-perception is how one views and evaluates themselves. The video discusses the importance of aligning self-perception with one's potential and goals. The speaker's story illustrates how changing her self-perception through her alter ego allowed her to break free from past limitations and achieve her desires.

๐Ÿ’กSocial Media Influencer

A social media influencer is an individual who has established credibility and influence over a particular audience in social media platforms. The speaker in the video is a full-time influencer with a significant following, using this role as an example of how embracing an alter ego can lead to a successful career in the digital age.

๐Ÿ’กSquarespace

Squarespace is a website building platform mentioned in the video as a tool for entrepreneurs to create websites and establish an online presence. It is highlighted as a resource that can support individuals in their personal and professional development, aligning with the video's theme of empowerment and growth.

๐Ÿ’กPsychological Strategy

A psychological strategy refers to a mental or cognitive approach used to achieve a particular goal or overcome a challenge. The concept of an alter ego is described in the video as a psychological strategy known as the 'Batman effect' in psychology, which helps individuals to face stressful situations with confidence.

๐Ÿ’กIdentity

Identity refers to the characteristics that define a person, including their beliefs, values, and behaviors. The video's narrative is centered around the้‡ๅก‘ (reshaping) of identity through the creation of an alter ego. It discusses how one's identity can be limiting and how adopting a new identity can lead to personal transformation and empowerment.

Highlights

The speaker transformed from a shy, insecure individual into a successful full-time influencer with over 2 million followers.

The concept of an 'alter ego' is introduced as a tool for personal growth and overcoming insecurities.

Tam, the speaker's alter ego, is not her real name but a persona she adopted to embody her ideal self.

The video provides a step-by-step guide on creating an alter ego to unlock one's full potential.

An alter ego is described as an alternate self with desired characteristics that don't come naturally.

The 'Batman effect' in psychology refers to using an alter ego to move forward confidently in stressful situations.

The benefits of having an alter ego include greater self-control and confidence by distancing oneself from past limitations.

The speaker's personal journey illustrates how adopting an alter ego can lead to a successful career and personal growth.

The importance of having a clear 'why' for creating an alter ego is emphasized for motivation and consistency.

Viewers are encouraged to identify new traits they wish their alter ego to possess, such as confidence or social skills.

Deep mapping of the alter ego involves understanding every detail of the new persona, including reactions to different situations.

Choosing an avatar for the alter ego, including a new name or appearance, helps to distance from the old self.

Defining the alter ego's values and core identity involves creating a backstory that supports the desired traits.

Deciding when to bring out the alter ego helps to create boundaries and ensures authenticity in other areas of life.

The advice to 'act until it's natural' encourages practice of the alter ego in various situations for integration.

Homework questions are provided at the end of the video to help viewers reflect on their journey towards creating an alter ego.

A book recommendation, 'The Alter Ego Effect' by Todd Herman, is given for further understanding of the concept.

Transcripts

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I was a shy girl who hated her

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appearance thought her personality was

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boring only ever thought about her

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insecurities all day long was so scared

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of talking to new people that she was

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basically living life on mute mode had

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no self-belief and doubted whether she

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would actually be able to get all of the

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things that she desired which inevitably

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sabotaged the lifestyle that she lived

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every single day that same girl is now a

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full-time influencer with a combined

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following of over 2 million followers

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she talks and is perceived for a living

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she openly chose that lifestyle she does

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public speaking she networks she's been

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on a whole billboard she makes new

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friends she found the confidence to

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model and she's built an entire career

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off of just being who she is that very

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same person who hated herself who was so

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insecure about who she was how is that

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even possible because she created an

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alter ego and that girl was me Tam who

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many of you know me as but the truth is

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Tam cor isn't even my real name name

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it's actually the name that I assigned

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to my Alter Ego who I've been going by

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as since 2019 cuz see when I was 19

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years old and starting University I was

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so done with being this girl because I

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knew that somewhere in me I had the

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potential and hopefully that one day I

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would be able to be this girl and I

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eventually got there because the truth

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is that you already have all of the

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knowledge all of the skills and all of

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the confidence you would ever need the

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only thing that is stopping you from

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getting there is the fact that your

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self- perception hasn't caught up to

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your full potential and by the end of

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this video that is no longer going to be

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a problem for you you are about to learn

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in this video the power and benefits

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that having an alter ego brings what it

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fully means a step-by-step guide to

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creating yours and then of course we're

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going to end the video with practical

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steps to get you set on your journey

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before we get into it be sure to follow

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me on my other socials where I always

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post exclusive b-size self-development

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content a lot of you already knew that

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this video was coming because I already

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posted some Ulta ego content on my

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Instagram you can also check out my

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Snapchat and Facebook where I post even

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more content on a daily basis through

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the links Below in the description and

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you can pre-order my book which is

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literally coming out in a few weeks I

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actually recently recorded the audiobook

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version of it where I do an exclusive

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Q&A at the end of the audiobook reading

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so you can click the link below in the

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description because it's available to

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pre-order worldwide and if you pre-order

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it rather than waiting to buy it on the

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release day you'll actually be

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supporting me and this book so much

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because the more pre-orders the book

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gets the higher it will rank in book

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charts this video has also been brought

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to to you by Squarespace Squarespace is

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an all-in-one website platform that is

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designed to help entrepreneurs stand out

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and succeed online regardless of their

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current knowledge or expertise meaning

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if you are a beginner and your 2024 goal

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was to set up a business and you have no

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idea how like you literally don't even

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know what the first step is Squarespace

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has got you covered because whether you

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are that beginner who's just starting

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out or if you're a little bit more

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experienced in the business world and

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you're managing a growing brand

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Squarespace has so many tools to help

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you on your Journey no matter what your

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needs they make it so easy to create a

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example if you're just starting out then

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Squarespace has an entire blog feature

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where any question you would ever have

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they are there with a full article and a

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for example making sure your website is

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SEO friendly setting up new email

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your business is growing and you are

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gaining as much traffic as you possibly

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can to make sure you can make your

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business as successful as possible as

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soon as it basically starts whereas if

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you are already managing a growing brand

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there are so many different tools for

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you to take advantage of as well you can

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now take advantage of Squarespace AI

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online easier than ever and if you're

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like me and you're in the social media

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want to be selling products on your

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online shop not to worry because

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Squarespace is giving solutions to

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absolutely everybody you can sell

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the list goes on so you guys can go to

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squarespace.com for a free trial and

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whenever you're ready to launch you can

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come back to this video and click my

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squarespace.com /am cor because through

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that link you will get 10% off your

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first purchase of a website or a domain

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chapter one the power and benefits of

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the alter ego so what is an alter ego an

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alter ego is basically an alternate self

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one that is different from your original

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or current self and most importantly a

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version of yourself that has all of the

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characteristics that you wish to have

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but just don't feel come to you

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naturally it's you stepping into to the

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ideal version of yourself one Without

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Limits and to quickly clear up any

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misconceptions no isn't fake or acting

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or pretending or deceiving others okay

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this is simply embodying the ideal

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characteristics you wish to have until

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they naturally become a part of you it's

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still you being yourself just you

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without any baggage without any past

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without any insecurities without the

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conditioning that other people have

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given to you by telling you what you are

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and are not capable of see an alter ego

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is like you but just on Fresh paper it

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does not take into account your

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embarrassing moments your failures your

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mistakes or other people's opinions it

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doesn't remember the fact that you've

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been shy and quiet for the last few

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Decades of your life it's literally like

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waking up one day and saying I feel like

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being a public speaker today and then

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just doing it because you're actually

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able to and there's no inner critic in

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your mind that's like oh but you can't

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do that because you're this this and

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this you're nothing this is a brand new

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day of your life you get to be whatever

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you want to be and I'll give you a

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personal example of how this has worked

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within my life so my entire life I was

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super shy and timid couldn't make new

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friends couldn't speak to new people

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really didn't like myself you know

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everything I said in the intro of this

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video so I was 19 and starting

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University I was going to a new city

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there was no one from my school that was

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going to be there and I thought this is

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the perfect moment to reinvent myself I

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was so sick and tired of being the same

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person every single day when I didn't

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even like that person so I thought okay

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I'm going to reinvent myself I want to

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be a social butterfly I want to be able

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to talk to strangers here and there I

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want a huge friendship group I want to

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be at all the parties I want to be the

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life of the party so how the hell do I

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get over there when I'm currently here

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and I can barely say 3 and so all I did

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was I imagined myself in my head but

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what I would look like if I had all the

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confidence in the world how would I walk

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how would I talk how would I act how

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would I approach certain situations you

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know when I'm walking in on the first

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day of University what would I do right

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now in my comfort zone of what I've

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always known versus what would the

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version of me with loads of social

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confidence do and I started to think

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about it that way but we'll get fully

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into the alter ego tutorial in Chapter 2

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so how do we actually know if having an

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alter ego works well one your favorite

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celebrity probably has one Beyonce lady

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gaggar and niik LGE all Ed one just to

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name a few Beyonce's alter ego is called

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Sasha fist Beyonce herself has said in

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interviews that she had to make this

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Alter Ego she gave the ult ego an

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entirely different name because Beyonce

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herself was so quiet and shy in real

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life and felt very socially awkward that

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she had to separate herself from who she

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had been to be able to have a confident

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and assertive onstage presence so that

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she could succeed in her career she did

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that so many times that she said

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whenever she started to hear music put

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some high heels on and think about Sasha

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F she immediately medely turned into her

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Alter Ego her posture was different her

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walk was different everything about her

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felt different even down to the way that

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she spoke she said that she used this

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Alter Ego strategy for a few years until

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she felt that she matured enough that

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she didn't even need to use it anymore

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and this is what I mean guys like you

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will do it enough times that it will

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start to become a part of your regular

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personality and all of those traits you

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once thought that you would never be

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able to have or felt so far away from

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the true version of you will literally

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come to you so easily and then two it's

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literally a psychological Strate and in

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Psychology having an alter ego is

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referred to as the Batman effect in

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Psychology they say to use this strategy

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when you feel like you're in a stressful

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situation and you want to move forward

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with confidence and having an alter ego

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in that situation helps you do it as

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long as you choose your Alter Ego wisely

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and you let them take charge you will be

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able to move forward in literally any

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situation okay so now that we understand

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what it actually is why should we even

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do this what are the benefits the main

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benefit of having an alter ego is that

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it gives you greater self control and

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confidence this is because creating your

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own Alter Ego is a form of

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self-distancing you are distancing

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yourself from the identity that you have

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always known and been comfortable with

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but in a way has been holding you back

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in many aspects it's also a really great

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way to detach because whenever you're in

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a difficult situation it allows you to

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distance yourself from your immediate

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feelings and instead look at something

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more objectively and from a stance

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that's going to benefit you rather than

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think oh my God I don't know what to do

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now and Alter Ego is my favorite thing

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because it means that you can finally

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remove yourself from the past that's

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been holding you back this entire time

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just like I said at the beginning of the

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video you already have all of the

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knowledge and confidence you need so why

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doesn't it come out because your

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self-perception hasn't caught up your

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self-perception a lot of us most of the

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time is stuck at a moment in the past so

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many of us are like okay but I used to

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make these mistakes or this is what I

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used to do or this has been my

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experience up until now okay so what

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you're telling me that your past

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something that is over and done with and

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no longer exists is forming your current

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identity In This Moment For What it

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literally makes no sense we make the

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biggest mistakes of allowing our past to

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create a belief system an identity for

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us that no longer aligns with Who We Are

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Who We Are gr into and where we are

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going because think about it this way if

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you right now in this moment are not

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100% happy with what you've got and you

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can think of at least three ways of ways

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you'd like to change or adopt a

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different mentality or personality then

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that right there just goes to show

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everything you've done up until this

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point didn't get you your desired result

play09:58

so then why are you still using the past

play10:01

the thing that evidently did not work to

play10:03

keep forming your future to allow all of

play10:05

that past noise to Define who you are

play10:08

and where you should go when it clearly

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didn't get you what you wanted now is

play10:11

the time to change to create a new

play10:13

identity and a new mindset the only

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reason we ever experiened self-doubt is

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because we are using the person we have

play10:20

been to Define who we are now and it's a

play10:22

lot more complicated than you think and

play10:24

another personal example from me is when

play10:26

I was 19 and I made my alter ego and I

play10:28

thought I'm going to to do all of these

play10:30

confident activities it was working I

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was making friends I was talking to

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people I was succeeding in my goal but

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my internal confidence wasn't quite

play10:37

there yet I knew exactly how to play the

play10:39

part but I just didn't genuinely feel

play10:42

like it but why wouldn't I I was doing

play10:44

everything to prove that I was now a

play10:46

person who could talk to people and make

play10:47

friends and I was proving my old self

play10:48

wrong but I didn't feel that way on the

play10:50

inside because my self-perception was

play10:52

still stuck at the person I was at 15

play10:54

years old every single time I thought of

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myself I had flashbacks to my awkward

play10:58

teen self because that is what I was

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used to that is the identity I had been

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stuck with for so many years I got

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flashbacks of times that I was too

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afraid to speak to people or I never

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stepped outside of my comfort zone or

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other people got more opportunities or

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made more friends than I ever did

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because I never stood out or spoke and

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because all of those memories were

play11:16

coming to the surface when I was

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thinking about who I was it meant that I

play11:19

was stuck in a place in the past that

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had nothing to do with who I was now

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because all of the people that I was

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meeting would have had no idea that I

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was that shy and that timid before and

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so it was time to allow self-perception

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to match with my new current identity

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you have to remember that we all have

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conditioning on who we are how you do

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one thing is how you do everything so if

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you have this really stubborn idea of

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who you are in your head or what your

play11:42

weaknesses are such as I'm really lazy

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and I procrastinate a lot when I do work

play11:46

and that is your core thought about your

play11:48

identity and who you are when it comes

play11:50

to work situations that is going to

play11:52

manifest itself in every other area of

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your life because that one part of you

play11:56

is starting to form your entire identity

play11:58

but when you adopt an Al ego like

play11:59

Beyonce did with SAS or you simply just

play12:02

start thinking of yourself in third

play12:03

person so that you detach from who you

play12:05

have been and all of the mistakes that

play12:07

you used to make it will actually allow

play12:09

you to stick to your goals because now

play12:10

you don't have any of that baggage

play12:12

holding you back this helps when you're

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trying to stick to your exercise goals

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to your business plan or just to your

play12:17

personal development and lastly for this

play12:19

chapter can anyone do it the answer is

play12:22

yes this is because you and everyone

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else around you we can all think of at

play12:26

least one example where we have changed

play12:28

our persona or our Identity or our

play12:30

personality to suit the situation or the

play12:33

people around us you don't act in the

play12:35

way that you do at work at home you

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don't act the same way with your friends

play12:38

than you do with your family and vice

play12:40

versa it just keeps changing you know

play12:42

how to adopt a different Persona in

play12:44

different situations to benefit yourself

play12:46

and to fit into different groups you

play12:48

probably have completely opposite

play12:50

personalities depending on who you're

play12:51

hanging around with where you are in

play12:53

which situation so if you can do little

play12:55

things like that every single day I

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promise you you can create an alter ego

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to get of your weaknesses build on your

play13:00

strengths and become a stronger more

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powerful version of yourself than you

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ever have been chapter number two the

play13:06

step-by-step guide to creating your

play13:08

Alter Ego now you might want to take out

play13:10

some paper Okay a pad and a pen because

play13:12

these are seven in-depth steps in order

play13:15

of creating your Alter Ego by the time

play13:17

this video is done you are going to be

play13:18

sorted I promise you step number one is

play13:20

the why this is where you start figuring

play13:22

out the purpose of your Alter Ego why

play13:25

the hell are you even creating an alter

play13:27

ego in the first place is it to get rid

play13:28

of some weaknesses is it to adopt some

play13:30

new personality traits is it to feel

play13:32

more confident when it comes to public

play13:33

speaking to be better in Social

play13:35

scenarios to just feel some more inner

play13:37

confidence in your life to be a better

play13:38

performer the list goes on your why

play13:41

needs to be so strong this is a very

play13:43

popular concept when it comes to

play13:45

business plans and even self-development

play13:48

because it's the thing that keeps you

play13:49

consistent on your journey if you're

play13:51

just like I'm going to make an alter ego

play13:52

because I feel like it would be cool and

play13:54

I would be hotter little bit fickle and

play13:56

you might not remember it because

play13:57

throughout this process you need to know

play13:59

the most detail about your Alter Ego to

play14:01

first of all be able to step into their

play14:02

shoes a lot better but also to make sure

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that this is a consistent habit that you

play14:06

can maintain to get all of the benefits

play14:08

from it step two new traits this is

play14:11

where you figure out all of the new

play14:12

characteristics you want your Alter Ego

play14:14

to have and majority of the time these

play14:16

are going to be things that you feel

play14:17

that you lack or you struggle with and

play14:19

just don't come too naturally it can be

play14:20

personality traits it can be values it

play14:22

could even be Hobbies the way they talk

play14:24

the way they move their mannerisms so

play14:26

for me it was the ability to talk to

play14:28

people to show myself on camera I wanted

play14:30

the value that I was confident in my own

play14:32

skin without having to change anything

play14:34

about myself that I was really secure in

play14:36

my authentic self- expression so I could

play14:38

go out as overdressed as I like without

play14:39

worrying about other people's

play14:40

perceptions of me and so on but if you

play14:42

are struggling with this part A really

play14:44

helpful tool is to think about people

play14:46

that you admire this could be people you

play14:48

know in real life these could be

play14:49

celebrities people you look up to in the

play14:51

media and actually think why do I admire

play14:53

them you don't admire people just

play14:55

because they're pretty and they seem

play14:56

cool everybody admires different people

play14:58

because they align with the potential

play15:00

that we all have within ourselves you

play15:02

can recognize Beauty in other people

play15:04

because you too have that beauty within

play15:05

yourself so why are your Idols your

play15:07

Idols why do you admire That Celebrity

play15:09

so much is it their confidence is it

play15:11

their work ethic it's really like asking

play15:13

yourself what would X do what would

play15:15

Beyonce do what would your idol do in a

play15:17

certain situation and then starting to

play15:19

replicate that energy in a way that

play15:21

suits you and your life step number

play15:23

three is deep mapping this is where you

play15:26

need to start understanding every little

play15:28

ins significant detail of who your Alter

play15:31

Ego is cuz think about it we are

play15:33

creating a whole new persona like a

play15:35

whole new person I know there're still

play15:37

you but they are You Without Limits okay

play15:39

and let's say you're like 20 years old

play15:40

watching this video you might be 16 you

play15:41

might be 30 that is quite a few Decades

play15:44

of your life where you have been

play15:45

building the current identity you have

play15:47

you have all of these memories to back

play15:49

it up you have all of this knowledge

play15:50

interactions with others everything this

play15:52

new persona that you are creating today

play15:54

doesn't have any of that so you need to

play15:56

have the responsibility of creating that

play15:58

for them because honestly the worst

play15:59

mistake you can make when it comes to

play16:01

creating an alter ego is confusion okay

play16:03

if they're confident but you don't know

play16:04

much else about them you wouldn't know

play16:06

how they would approach a stressful

play16:07

situation are they more assertive are

play16:09

they classy and laid-back and detached

play16:11

if you don't know your Alter Ego inside

play16:13

and out then it's going to make the

play16:14

stepping into their shoes and acting as

play16:16

them in certain situations very

play16:18

ineffective because you're not even

play16:19

going to know what they're going to do

play16:20

and that is going to prompt you to step

play16:22

back into what you're comfortable with

play16:23

which is the person you have been this

play16:25

entire time so when it comes to deep

play16:27

mapping some questions to ask yourself

play16:29

is how would they act in a stressful

play16:31

situation how do they approach their

play16:33

career how do they approach dating what

play16:36

is their mindset when it comes to

play16:37

romantic relationships how would they

play16:39

act when they are being mistreated and

play16:41

they're starting to feel a little bit

play16:42

angry like what is their response how

play16:44

would they act if they fell in love how

play16:45

would they go about fixing a bad day

play16:47

what does a good day look like to them

play16:49

if they were on a stage about to do some

play16:50

public speaking what is their approach

play16:52

to that are they more comedic or do they

play16:54

take it super seriously is it loads of

play16:56

preparation is it being goofy

play16:57

freestyling it and all o your authentic

play16:59

energy to flow step number four is to

play17:02

pick your avatar this is the super fun

play17:05

and girly part this is where you get to

play17:06

decide how your Alter Ego appears now

play17:08

it's very common when you're creating an

play17:10

alter ego to give them a different name

play17:12

cuz like I said before this is

play17:14

distancing yourself from yourself so

play17:16

another name is really helpful just like

play17:18

I said tamour isn't actually my real

play17:19

name I'd never gone by that name until I

play17:22

was 19 so it really helped kind of leave

play17:24

my past baggage behind but another

play17:26

really helpful solution is to change up

play17:28

your appearance a little bit it can be

play17:30

super subtle maybe you'll get some

play17:31

highlights maybe you'll cut your hair

play17:32

one thing I did at one point was get a

play17:34

nose piercing just cuz I wanted to feel

play17:36

something you can change up your makeup

play17:38

look you can stop wearing makeup you can

play17:40

finally start dressing in your real

play17:42

authentic style rather than following

play17:44

Trends this is all about self-expression

play17:46

for me personally fashion is a really

play17:48

big thing and an outfit really decides

play17:50

how I strut out that day if I've barely

play17:52

put any effort in and I'm just in sweats

play17:54

that shows in my body language and how I

play17:56

show up to things but when I am

play17:57

channeling tamc cour energy I'm always

play17:59

in heels I'm always in a cute fit I'm

play18:01

always decked out in my jewelry I've

play18:03

always got a nice full face of Glam On

play18:05

I've always done my hair and I've got my

play18:06

extensions in like I'm feeling like that

play18:08

girl and then that shows through my

play18:10

mannerisms that energy literally flows

play18:12

from me step number five values and core

play18:15

identity this is a little bit similar to

play18:17

deep mapping but rather than assessing

play18:19

how they would approach certain

play18:20

situations now we are thinking about the

play18:22

back story of your Alter Ego this is

play18:24

where you figure out their values what's

play18:26

important to them where do they want to

play18:27

go in life what do they value you what

play18:29

do they not care about as much what are

play18:30

their preferences what are their

play18:32

strengths what are they motivated by and

play18:34

if you really want to get technical with

play18:35

it since this is a new person what has

play18:37

been their history up until this point

play18:39

because your history has influenced you

play18:41

a lot and if maybe you've struggled in

play18:42

the past maybe you had really difficult

play18:44

time in school or in a workplace now

play18:46

that's started to kind of dampen your

play18:47

confidence a bit maybe their history and

play18:49

their memories are all confident ones

play18:51

maybe it's that they've always succeeded

play18:53

that every task they approach they do

play18:55

and fulfill with ease they are just that

play18:57

kind of person they are the AAR student

play18:58

student maybe they're a really good

play19:00

athlete they've been in every gifted

play19:02

program they are so naturally talented

play19:04

you can make it up as you go so that

play19:06

your alter ego's history and experience

play19:08

matches who you want them to be today

play19:10

and how confident they are step number

play19:12

six the when this is really important

play19:15

because this is when you're going to

play19:16

decide when to actually bring out your

play19:19

Alter Ego in your life because it's not

play19:20

going to be 24/7 your authenticity is

play19:23

really really important and for some

play19:24

people like Beyonce for example the

play19:26

alter ego only comes out in the

play19:28

workplace for me especially when I'm on

play19:30

camera or when I'm at certain events

play19:32

that's when tamc energy comes out but I

play19:34

know on the inside I am such an

play19:36

introvert like I'm such a home body and

play19:38

I do separate myself from that a lot of

play19:40

the time because that would sabotage me

play19:41

in my career but I love to also

play19:44

appreciate that part of myself that's

play19:45

where self L comes in so it's really

play19:47

important to kind of create those

play19:48

boundaries and those spaces where it's

play19:50

like this is when I'm going to channel

play19:51

you and this is when I get to be who I

play19:53

want to be without thinking too much

play19:55

about it but then again for other people

play19:56

your alter ego might just be super simp

play19:58

Le and it might just be an Avenue for

play20:00

you to try and develop your confidence

play20:02

until it naturally becomes a part of you

play20:03

in which case you might Channel it every

play20:05

single day and lastly for this chapter

play20:08

step number seven act until it's natural

play20:11

I really encourage you to experiment

play20:12

with your Alter Ego in the beginning

play20:14

stages as often and as frequently in as

play20:17

many situations and with as many people

play20:19

as you possibly can I'm talking when you

play20:21

are going to get your morning coffee you

play20:23

are making small talk with the bista if

play20:25

that is what aligns with who your ulter

play20:26

ego is or if you are going to see a

play20:28

friend at super casual occasion you are

play20:30

going turning up in your most

play20:32

overdressed authentic expressive outfit

play20:35

because that is exactly what your alter

play20:36

ego would do okay you are practicing at

play20:38

home at how you would do public speaking

play20:40

about how you would talk to people and

play20:41

work the room at a party or at a

play20:43

networking event this is basically so

play20:45

that you can get as much practice as you

play20:46

can in different scenarios so that your

play20:48

Alter Ego becomes used to you ASAP

play20:50

because it will take some time to start

play20:52

to adopt this new persona and integrate

play20:54

them seamlessly within your life and the

play20:56

more practice you get the better plus it

play20:58

allows you to evaluate and chop and

play21:00

change it if you feel like it doesn't

play21:01

really suit you or it's too far from

play21:03

your authenticity really see how it

play21:05

feels how it shows up maybe how other

play21:07

people respond to it whether your

play21:08

behavior Can adapt to it and how it's

play21:11

influencing your mindset and that brings

play21:12

us to the final chapter chapter number

play21:14

three homework this is very common at

play21:16

the end of all of my YouTube videos and

play21:18

podcast episodes shout out self-obsessed

play21:20

on all platforms check it out in the

play21:22

description if you haven't already so

play21:23

yeah if you're new here at the end of

play21:25

every video or podcast episode I always

play21:26

give a list of practical tips to make

play21:28

sure that you start your journey

play21:30

straight away because chapter 2 of this

play21:31

video covered all of the Practical steps

play21:33

and guide on how to create your Alter

play21:35

Ego I want to do something a little bit

play21:37

different with the homework chapter

play21:38

today instead I'm going to give you guys

play21:40

some questions to either think about or

play21:42

Journal about I highly recommend that to

play21:44

really help you form an effective

play21:46

strategy that is going to be personal to

play21:48

you and really work for you from here

play21:50

because an alter ego is different to

play21:52

absolutely everybody question number one

play21:54

what qualities do you wish you had do

play21:55

you wish you were a natural performer

play21:57

more outspoken Fashion Icon Smarter with

play22:00

money question two now journal or have a

play22:02

think about what is actually preventing

play22:04

you and holding you back from having

play22:05

those qualities is it self-doubt is it

play22:07

fear is it the worry about being

play22:10

perceived and judged by others is it

play22:12

backlash from friends or family is it

play22:14

your past mistakes or the fact that you

play22:15

might have failed before or is it just

play22:17

the fact that your current identity

play22:19

doesn't match up the more detailed you

play22:20

can answer this and really get behind

play22:22

the fact of what are your blockages the

play22:24

better you can then create and form your

play22:26

Alter Ego that doesn't have any those

play22:28

things question number three if tomorrow

play22:30

was the first day of your life how would

play22:32

you act how would you be when you wake

play22:33

up how would you approach your work day

play22:35

how would you feel knowing that you have

play22:37

no past you've made no mistakes no exes

play22:40

no messy breakups no mistakes no

play22:42

embarrassing moments how would you live

play22:44

how would you carry yourself knowing

play22:46

that you had all of the knowledge and

play22:47

all of the wisdom with none of that past

play22:49

experience nothing to fear because

play22:51

nothing's ever gone wrong in your life

play22:52

before and finally now that you know

play22:54

exactly what you want to have and what

play22:56

might be holding you back from that and

play22:57

what you would do if you didn't have any

play22:59

of that past baggage what would your

play23:01

Alter Ego do walk act talk speak like

play23:03

and it links back to that entire mapping

play23:06

process now you've really gotten into

play23:08

all of the detail as to what's gotten

play23:10

you to this point and how you can get to

play23:12

the next point but before this video

play23:13

ends I actually discovered a book that

play23:15

I'd love to recommend to you guys it's

play23:16

called the alter ego effect by Todd

play23:18

Herman so if you guys really like this

play23:20

concept and you want to learn more about

play23:21

it then that is something that you guys

play23:23

can add to your reading list I really

play23:24

hope that you guys enjoyed this video

play23:26

and I can't wait for you all to start

play23:28

your journey be sure to comment down

play23:29

below and let me know what is your ult

play23:31

ego's name going to be are you going to

play23:32

start this journey feel free to message

play23:34

me on Instagram and give me a follow on

play23:36

social platforms to keep up with all of

play23:37

the new advice that I will be putting

play23:39

out on a daily basis thank you so much

play23:41

for watching till the end and all of the

play23:42

support you guys give me I appreciate

play23:44

you so much and I will see you same time

play23:46

next Friday for a brand new video and

play23:48

there'll also be a brand new video on my

play23:49

second YouTube channel tomor Vlogs every

play23:51

Sunday be sure to check it out bye

play23:54

[Music]

play23:59

me my

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Related Tags
Alter EgoPersonal GrowthSelf-ConfidenceInfluencer LifePublic SpeakingSocial AnxietyIdentity ShiftSelf-DevelopmentCareer SuccessMindset Change