LIFE SKILLS PRACTICE AND APPLICATIONS | Dr. BABY SHARI PADIYATH | TEDxPeacePublicSchoolKottakkal

Summary

This insightful script delves into the concept of life skills, distinguishing them from knowledge and emphasizing their importance in personal and professional development. It discusses the necessity of self-awareness, empathy, effective communication, and critical thinking in navigating social interactions and conflicts. The speaker also highlights the significance of coping skills in managing emotions and stress, advocating for a balanced approach to life's challenges and the cultivation of a socially responsible attitude.

Takeaways

• 📚 Skills are different from knowledge; they are abilities acquired through practice, such as swimming or driving.
• 🌐 Life is complex and difficult to define, involving existential questions about our existence before and after birth.
• 🌟 Life skills are crucial for personal and professional success, initially emphasized due to concerns about HIV/AIDS among youngsters.
• 🧠 Self-awareness is a foundational life skill, enabling the development of other skills and understanding one's own strengths and limitations.
• 🤝 Empathy is a significant social skill, though it must be balanced to avoid being overwhelmed by others' emotions.
• 🗣️ Effective communication is vital, including the ability to assert oneself and understand different communication styles.
• 🤔 Critical and creative thinking are essential for decision-making and problem-solving, encouraging out-of-the-box ideas and individualism.
• 🤝 Interpersonal relationship skills are crucial for social beings, influenced by societal norms and stereotypes.
• 🏋️‍♂️ Coping skills, including emotional and stress management, are necessary for dealing with life's challenges and maintaining balance.
• 🧘 Stress is inevitable, but it can be managed through problem-focused or emotion-focused approaches, tailored to individual needs.
• 🌐 The application of life skills is primarily social, emphasizing the importance of attitude, social responsibility, and social awareness.

Q & A

What is the distinction between knowledge and skill according to the speaker?

Knowledge is new information that one can use or share, while a skill is a capacity or ability acquired through practice, similar to learning how to swim or drive.

Why did the World Health Organization (WHO) start focusing on life skills?

The WHO began to focus on life skills due to the increased number of HIV positive cases and AIDS-related deaths among youngsters, realizing that certain abilities could help individuals withstand peer pressure and avoid unhealthy conditions.

What is the importance of self-awareness in developing life skills?

Self-awareness is crucial as it helps in developing other skills. It allows individuals to understand their strengths, limitations, and how to utilize their capacities in social surroundings.

How does empathy play a role in social skills?

Empathy is an important social skill that allows individuals to put themselves in others' shoes. However, it needs to be balanced and scientifically understood to avoid being harmful.

What is the significance of effective communication in life skills?

Effective communication is vital as it helps in expressing oneself clearly and assertively, which is crucial in various situations, including dealing with harassment or misunderstandings.

What are the different styles of communication mentioned in the script?

The script mentions aggressive, passive, and assertive styles of communication, emphasizing the importance of selecting the appropriate style based on the situation.

Why is it challenging to understand and manage one's emotions?

Emotions have a biological and hormonal basis, making them difficult to control. However, the expression of emotions can be learned and managed, which is essential in social interactions.

How does the speaker define critical thinking and its importance?

Critical thinking is defined as the ability to think deeply and creatively, which is important for making informed decisions, solving problems, and navigating through life's complexities.

What are coping skills, and why are they essential?

Coping skills are abilities that help individuals deal with crises, difficulties, and various encounters. They are essential for managing emotions, stress, and maintaining balance in life.

How does the speaker describe the role of stress in life and its management?

The speaker describes stress as inevitable and something that needs to be managed rather than eradicated. It involves identifying the cause, addressing it if possible, and using problem-focused or emotion-focused approaches.

What is the speaker's view on the application of life skills in society?

The speaker believes that life skills should be applied in a social context with a focus on attitude, social responsibility, and social awareness, making the skills meaningful and beneficial.

Outlines

00:00

🧠 Understanding Life Skills

The speaker begins by defining life skills as capacities or abilities that are acquired over time, unlike knowledge which is simply information. They emphasize the importance of life skills in personal and professional life, highlighting their role in resisting peer pressure and maintaining health. The concept of life skills was initially explored in the context of HIV/AIDS prevention among youth. The speaker also discusses the difficulty in self-awareness and the need for introspection to understand one's own strengths and limitations. They conclude by stating that life skills are foundational and essential for developing other skills.

05:00

💬 Empathy and Communication

This paragraph delves into the importance of empathy and effective communication as crucial life skills. Empathy is described as the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, which is not only beneficial but can also be harmful if overdone. The speaker mentions that empathy should be balanced with a scientific understanding. Communication skills are also discussed, emphasizing the need for assertiveness, especially in situations like sexual harassment. Different styles of communication, such as aggressive, passive, and assertive, are explored, highlighting their appropriate uses. The speaker also includes a humorous exercise to demonstrate the importance of listening and non-verbal communication.

10:01

🤝 Interpersonal Relationships and Critical Thinking

The speaker discusses interpersonal relationship skills, noting how warmth and approachability can influence social interactions. They touch on societal issues such as gender discrimination and stereotypes that can affect these relationships. Critical thinking is then introduced as a vital skill, with the speaker explaining the importance of making decisions and solving problems creatively and critically. They argue that conflicts can be beneficial in personal, familial, and organizational contexts, as they lead to negotiations and strategies. The speaker encourages the development of critical thinking from childhood, emphasizing its role in facing life's crises.

15:01

🤯 Coping with Emotions and Stress

In this paragraph, the speaker addresses the management of emotions and stress as essential life skills. They explain that while emotions have a biological basis and are uncontrollable, their expression can be managed. The speaker discusses the concept of emotional labor and its importance in social interactions. Stress is defined as a feeling of imbalance due to insufficient resources to face a situation. The speaker suggests that stress management, rather than eradication, is the goal, and outlines two approaches: problem-focused and emotion-focused. They also discuss the importance of identifying the cause of stress and addressing it, whether through cognitive restructuring or problem-solving techniques. The speaker concludes by emphasizing the personal nature of stress management and the need for professional support in severe cases.

Keywords

💡Life Skills

Life skills refer to the abilities and capacities that individuals acquire to navigate various aspects of life, both personal and professional. In the video, life skills are discussed in the context of their importance in withstanding peer pressure and managing personal and professional challenges. The speaker emphasizes that these skills are not just about knowledge but about the practical application of that knowledge in real-life situations.

💡Cognitive Capacity

Cognitive capacity in the video is mentioned in relation to the learning process in the brain. It is the ability to process information, think critically, and make decisions. The speaker uses this term to highlight how skills are not just learned but are ingrained in our cognitive processes, allowing us to act independently and make informed choices.

💡Peer Pressure

Peer pressure is a social influence that can lead individuals, especially youngsters, to engage in behaviors they might not otherwise choose. The script discusses how certain life skills can help individuals resist peer pressure, thereby preventing them from engaging in unhealthy behaviors such as substance abuse, as mentioned in the context of HIV positive cases.

💡Self-Awareness

Self-awareness is the ability to recognize one's own emotions, strengths, and limitations. In the video, it is presented as a foundational life skill that helps in developing other skills. The speaker suggests that self-awareness is crucial for personal growth and understanding one's place in society, as it allows individuals to reflect on their actions and behaviors.

💡Empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. The video discusses empathy as a social skill that is essential for effective communication and building relationships. It is highlighted as a skill that needs to be developed and balanced, as excessive empathy can be detrimental, while a lack of it can hinder social interactions.

💡Communication

Communication is the act of conveying information or ideas through speech, writing, or behavior. The script emphasizes the importance of effective communication in various contexts, such as education and professional environments. It also touches on different styles of communication, including assertive, passive, and aggressive styles, and how they can impact interactions.

💡Assertiveness

Assertiveness is the ability to express one's thoughts, feelings, and beliefs in a direct, honest, and appropriate way. In the video, assertiveness is discussed in the context of standing up for one's rights and communicating effectively. The speaker clarifies that assertiveness is not about being aggressive but about expressing oneself in a respectful manner.

💡Interpersonal Relationships

Interpersonal relationships refer to the connections and interactions between individuals. The video highlights the importance of developing skills to maintain healthy relationships, such as understanding others' perspectives and managing conflicts. The speaker uses examples like the behavior of a favorite teacher to illustrate how interpersonal skills can influence social interactions.

💡Critical Thinking

Critical thinking is the ability to analyze information objectively and make logical conclusions. The script discusses critical thinking as a crucial skill for making informed decisions and solving problems. It is presented as a skill that needs to be nurtured from childhood to help individuals navigate complex situations in life.

💡Creativity

Creativity is the ability to come up with new ideas, concepts, or ways of doing things. In the video, creativity is discussed as a skill that extends beyond artistic expression, such as dancing or painting. It is emphasized that everyone has the potential for creative thinking, which can be cultivated and expressed in unique and individualistic ways.

💡Stress Management

Stress management involves strategies and techniques to cope with stress and maintain mental and emotional well-being. The video discusses stress as an inevitable part of life that needs to be managed rather than eliminated. It mentions different approaches to stress management, such as problem-focused and emotion-focused methods, and the importance of identifying and addressing the causes of stress.

Highlights

Definition of skill as a capacity or ability acquired through practice, distinct from knowledge.

Life's complexity and the difficulty in defining it, relating to the elements of the body and the earth.

Life skills are essential for withstanding peer pressure and have been linked to personal and professional development.

Importance of self-awareness as a foundational life skill that leads to the development of other skills.

The challenge of looking inward to understand one's own strengths and limitations.

Interdependence of humans and the impossibility of being completely independent, emphasizing the need for culture and togetherness.

The role of empathy as a social skill, its development, and the potential harm of an overemphasis on empathy.

The theory of mind as a system in the brain that works differently from empathy, aiding in understanding others.

The experiment involving raising the right hand and touching the chin to illustrate non-verbal communication.

The significance of effective communication in various contexts, including sexual harassment cases.

Different styles of communication, including assertive, aggressive, and passive, and their appropriate applications.

The importance of interpersonal relationship skills in social interactions and overcoming biases and stereotypes.

The necessity of critical and creative thinking for decision-making and problem-solving.

The benefits of conflicts in personal, familial, and organizational contexts for negotiation and strategy development.

Coping skills and management skills for dealing with crises, difficulties, and stress.

The biological and hormonal basis of emotions and the possibility of controlling emotional expressions.

Stress as an inevitable part of life that requires management rather than eradication.

Two approaches to stress management: problem-focused and emotion-focused.

The personalization of stress management techniques based on individual needs and lifestyles.

The importance of social context, attitude, and social responsibility in the application of life skills.

Transcripts

dear lovable friends hope you stay fine

with my 25 years experience in the field

of psychology today i thought of talk to

you on the topic life skills what is

meant by skill if i am giving you a new

piece of information that will be a

knowledge for you

where you can use that knowledge

when somebody will be asking you

about that or when you find somebody who

is not

aware of all those things but the skill

is different skill is a capacity or

ability that we acquire like you learn

how to swim

how to drive a vehicle there was a time

you may be sitting in the bank of a pond

putting your leg in the cold water and

feel the coldness and feel like how nice

if i can sleep but for swimming you just

have to jump into water somebody should

be there to help you support you and

make a practice and a day will come when

you will be swimming without the support

of anybody that is skill the skill is

something like a capacity

where the cognitive capacity will be

like a learning in the brain and about

life

life is something very difficult to

define and i

i'm not able to do that but still just

think

where were you

before

taking birth into this world where will

you go

after your death

studies say that

the elements that is there in the body

that is already there in this earth

and this is just like a state

and in the organism we are receiving

certain kind of a duration

so what is life skill

life skill is something related and we

began to think about life skill

when w ho was being concerned about the

increased number of hiv positive cases

in youngsters

and there was more statistics related

with aids related death

like that studies were conducted

worldwide and it was found that if we

have certain kinds kinds of abilities

we can withstand

the peer pressure which will be leading

to this kind of unhealthy conditions the

study is extended it was found that if

you acquire life skills that will be

very helpful for us in our personal and

professional life

so

there comes the core life skills

and today i am talking about that

when we think about

people that you know

sometimes we feel that how they are

behaving like this they are educated but

in behavior something

like it's not as expected like now

suppose you talk to a fifth standard boy

we will get astonished to see that what

all things they know they'll thought

about plants animals maybe food chain

and we'll talk about organization and

we'll say that i have done projects i

have i am doing a

seminar and things like that but even

when you reach up to the post doctor

level nobody will be asking you what

kind of a person you are

which means that it is very difficult

for us to look into oneself and see

what kind of a person we are

we think about life we can see that life

is impossible for human beings without

the support of science

just to cut an umbilical cord we are in

need of a blade at least

which was a raw material in the earth

and that happens to become a weapon

or a kind of supporting system

when that happens to go through human

intelligence through number of people

when we think about being independent

understand the fact that that is

something

impossible for us we just have to

understand the need for culture the need

for togetherness then only human beings

can just live and move on

just to understand these kinds of things

we understand what we are

it is very difficult to look at oneself

and see what strength we have what our

limitations we have how we can

understand the social surroundings and

utilize our capacities over there that

is why who called this skill as a mother

skill when we have self-awareness that

help us to develop into many other kinds

of skills

suppose

some of your friends or colleagues talk

about their issue

you are such a nice fellow so that what

you think is okay i can console them

i can advise them i just have heard

about certain things so that i can

narrate certain things so that's why i

has to extend them to life

of course those kinds of things are very

good

but suppose you have a pain in your

stomach

occasionally it is coming it is

disturbing you

what will you decide

you will decide to go to an expert

where you are in need of the highest

level of technology you need a

scientific diagnosis you need a painless

treatment is it what you intend for

what happens when you put yourself into

that position the things are changing

that is another kind of very important

social skill which can be called as

empathy it is very difficult for us to

put ourselves into the true of others

but when that comes things are different

while talking about empathy today during

one through what's happened all

you might have heard about number of

narrations and

advices related with empathy development

studies also they say that empathy is

not a kind not a kind of skill which has

to be flourished in a very high level

and see that that is very wonderful no

over empathy response also will be

harmful for us

and studies also say that functional mri

study says that our brain has got a

system which is quite differently

working other than empathy and lead to

theory of mind which means that

we can

do certain kinds of support kind of

extension

when theory of mind has to be developed

so even when you talk about empathy it

has to be understood scientifically too

okay are you listening me

yeah you just do as i say you just raise

your right hand

wave like this okay keep your hands

straight now fold your small finger

ring finger middle finger and thumb only

for your finger pointing upwards okay

bring your hands down and touch your

chin see how many of you are touching

your sin

you are touching your cheek right okay

even when we are communicating even when

you are listening see

especially teachers and parents have to

listen to the fact that you know people

will be reading not simply our words

we are communicating in a number of ways

so that communicating effectively that

is the another kind of life skill

many a time when we deal with analysis

of cases related sexual harassment and

all we could find that it is not a

stranger or a sudden coming to the

person and doing that kind of harassment

it might have started even very earlier

the victim is not communicating thing

effectively it's not simply lack of

communication capacity it is not

communicating effectively and there

comes the importance of assertive style

of communication or different varieties

of communication and told and many of

you know that you know assertive

communication is something if you have

an answer the communication also should

be

really bringing it out that kind of

content itself so some people say that

saying no is assertiveness but it is not

saying no to your duties saying no to

your responsibilities when somebody is

violating your right

then you have to say no and people you

also used to ask is this the only way to

communicate no there are different

styles of communication like aggressive

communication passive style of

communication is that something needed

very much needed when the nature create

anger that is highly needed for us anger

help us to self-protect anger help us to

fight against certain injustice there

are situation where we have to pass you

sometimes we have to obey because that

will be our responsibilities and duties

that will be the need of the hour

sometimes we will be taking into

consideration the relationship as more

important so that we may not be

asserting ourselves so things are

different we should be able to

understand different styles of

communication and selecting accordingly

okay you may have a favorite teacher

why do you like that teacher the most

people

do not say it is because of the subject

expertise alone they say that the

teacher has got a general kind of

behavior she or he approaches me very

nicely she just look into my eyes

and i know that you know some kind of

warmth is coming things like that that

is nothing but interpersonal

relationship skill that is highly needed

for

for the social beings and extending our

social responsibility we feel that we

have interpersonal relationship skill

but there are so many kinds of social

expert that will be influencing us just

like of gender discrimination some

stereotype that will be there in our

life we feel that

certain kinds of others

so-called others cannot come closer to

us to what extent they can come

sometimes even because of the religious

beliefs we are detached by from many

parts of the society many groups of the

society that affects our

kind of secularism and social behavior

when i come to the thinking skill that

also is very wonderful uh thinking

critically and creatively how far we are

jumping into decision that is is that

increasing our complexities in life

of course the life will be a series of

failures and conflicts sometimes we feel

that we just have to escape from

conflicts do conflicts have any benefits

of course it has benefits it has

benefits in the personal familial and

organizational context when there will

be conflict conflicts we can understand

the fact that the party is engaged or

the participant has equal rights to open

up their opinion and come to certain

kinds of negotiations only when the

conflicts are continuing we are think

about certain kinds of other

interventions or else even in

organization when we think critically

the conflicts will be bringing us to

certain kinds of negotiations strategies

and plans which has to be continued in

the further development so thinking

critically is highly needed and that has

to be a quality or a capacity for

children and adolescents so as to face

their crisis in the life and but when we

think about creativity people used to

say that oh that person is dancing oh

and another person is singing very well

and he is also painting very well but i

don't have that kind of creativity see

critical thinking is something different

if you think out of box if you have a

new unique style if you are becoming

individualistic that shows you are

create having creative thinking capacity

and studies say that almost everybody

has creative thinking capacity we just

have to identify that facilitate and

come to euron's style of expressions

about decision making and problem

solving

that has to be

developed like a skill from childhood

onwards if we are getting an opportunity

to engage in family budgeting

considering certain kinds of issues

facing certain issues that will work

like a behavioral vaccine like that that

will be there in our character and can

be utilized whenever necessary so only

when we are encountering with the

situation these kinds of skills can be

developed

and still another group of skills are

called as coping skills or management

skills

so that we can deal with the crisis deal

with the difficulties deal with the

different kinds of encounters easily

when these skills are being developed

those are coping with emotions and

coping with stress

how we get different kinds of emotions

the emotions has got a biological basis

it has got a hormonal basis and we have

no control over it so how can we control

our emotion is it something possible

the expression of emotions can be

controlled it can be learned the teacher

may be having so much so much aggression

and will be just like

crushing the baby but will be saying

that oh come on why don't you do like

that because the situation demands that

the job situation demands that even when

we are in the organizational setup when

we are working what happens is

the situation demands certain kinds of

control of our emotions and this is just

like we are doing an emotional labor we

are getting salary for controlling our

emotions too and that is highly needed

in the social interactions about stress

what is stress if you feel that your

resources are not enough to face certain

situation that leads to certain kinds of

imbalances certain changes in the

homeostasis that is called as stress and

stress will be having a number of causes

it can be biological physical or

psychological your guilt may be working

or it can even be social so study says

that this is quite inevitable we cannot

just escape from stress so stress have

to be managed we are not thinking about

eradication of stress but management of

stress isn't it so how can we manage

stress of course when a stress is there

the course has to be identified and just

see whether cause can be addressed or

not

that is the first thing we have to do

and there are two ways of stress

management it is called as problem

focused approach an emotion focused

approach

a mother who identified that her baby is

hearing impaired she is highly depressed

she thought about a suicide but after

some encounters she says that oh i

thought that

this baby is from god

god might have thought that why this

lady has to be selected as the mother

god has a purpose

he might have seen some kind of

qualities in me that is by that is why

this baby is given to me

so the thinking differs

the management differs nothing is going

to happen for the situation but the way

the person thinks the cognitive

restructuring will be working so as to

face the situation in a better way

so sometimes it can be emotion based

management but many a time we can also

think about a problem focused method

where the reason has to be found out the

reason has to be addressed the reason

can be sometimes your ageism the reason

can be sometimes your perfectionism the

reason can be certain kind of gender

bias that you carry you identify that

and try to address in some way or the

other that has to be the mechanism why

you are talking about a yoga or a stress

management technique like relaxation or

meditation

is that the technique that we have to

use

when i think about public in general i

never support these kinds of system that

can be done by an affluent society very

well but you think about the society in

general people are there working in the

agricultural sector or in the

construction structure or they they are

running for their daily wages or they

are laborers do you think that these

kinds of techniques can be done

the people will be having their own

personal style of dealing with stress

some people say that i'll just sit and

relax for some time i'll just drink a

coffee i'll just go for walk i'll just

move away from the situation i will call

my favorite friend i'll be sometimes

going to beach and just watching the

waves for some time

all these are different styles of stress

management people select for they

themselves very personally so these are

the techniques that will be working

wonderfully if you find a person

having high stress and their daily life

is highly affected out of it

you just refer that person for a

professional support of course therapies

are available for which stress

management can be addressed

at the same time when we talk about all

these different kind of skills

don't think that this is the kind of

skills which will be leading us to

victory and will be encountering with

competitions and things like that when

we think about application of these

skills understand that this is becoming

applicable only in a social context your

attitude is important as our social

responsibility is important how we are

socially aware is important then only

the skills will become meaningful