How to gain confidence — GUARANTEED 5 STEP METHOD

Summary

The video script delves into the concept of self-confidence, emphasizing that it is built through consistent effort and self-improvement, not by waiting for it to appear. It encourages viewers to outwork themselves, keep promises, and stay disciplined, using the metaphor of athletes' match-day confidence. The speaker shares strategies for building discipline, such as setting achievable goals and timetables, and the importance of surrounding oneself with positive influences. The script also touches on the impact of the content we consume and the significance of physical appearance in portraying self-respect, ultimately advocating for a mindful approach to personal development.

Takeaways

• 🤔 Confidence is not something that magically appears; it is built through consistent effort and self-improvement.
• 🏋️‍♂️ The metaphor of athletes illustrates that confidence comes from rigorous preparation and dedication to one's craft.
• 🔑 Developing character and skills is crucial for building confidence, as it provides tangible evidence of one's abilities.
• 🎯 Having an overarching goal and breaking it down into actionable steps can help in building discipline and achieving objectives.
• 🛏️ Small, consistent actions like making your bed every day can be a foundation for developing larger habits of discipline.
• 🗓️ Setting a timetable and committing to tasks, even when they seem trivial, is a practical way to build discipline and confidence.
• 🔄 The journey of self-improvement is not linear, but making incremental progress can lead to significant personal growth over time.
• 🧲 Surrounding oneself with positive influences and mentors can help in adopting successful habits and attitudes.
• 🚫 Recognizing and removing oneself from negative environments is essential for personal growth and the development of a healthy mindset.
• 🧘‍♂️ Spending time alone allows for self-reflection and the pursuit of personal goals without the distractions of negative influences.
• 🌟 Becoming a 'magnet' for like-minded individuals involves first developing oneself and then naturally attracting a supportive community.

Q & A

What is the main theme of the video script?

The main theme of the video script is about building confidence and self-discipline through self-improvement, setting goals, and surrounding oneself with positive influences.

What does the speaker mean by 'confidence is having an undeniable stack of proof'?

The speaker means that confidence comes from having tangible evidence of one's abilities and achievements, which validates one's self-worth and identity.

Why does the speaker use athletes as an example to illustrate confidence?

Athletes are used as an example because they demonstrate confidence on the field or court due to their consistent preparation and training, showing that confidence is a result of hard work and readiness.

What is the speaker's view on the role of education in developing confidence?

The speaker acknowledges the importance of education but suggests that it should not be the sole focus. He emphasizes that personal development outside of academic pursuits is crucial for building confidence.

How does the speaker suggest developing discipline?

The speaker suggests developing discipline by setting an overarching goal, breaking it down into practical steps, and setting a timetable to achieve these steps, starting with small, manageable tasks.

Why is it important to keep promises according to the speaker?

Keeping promises is important because it demonstrates self-discipline and commitment, which are foundational to building confidence and achieving personal goals.

What is the speaker's advice on building a good community?

The speaker advises recognizing negative situations, removing oneself from negativity, spending time alone to develop skills, and becoming a magnet for like-minded individuals by being a high-value individual.

How does the speaker relate the concept of a 'healthy diet' to mental health?

The speaker relates a 'healthy diet' to mental health by emphasizing the importance of consuming positive and uplifting content, rather than focusing solely on physical nutrition.

What role does physical appearance play in building confidence according to the speaker?

According to the speaker, physical appearance plays a significant role in building confidence as it is often the first impression others have of you. Taking care of one's appearance can also reinforce self-respect and self-investment.

How does the speaker suggest managing anxiety?

The speaker suggests managing anxiety by focusing on what one can control, bringing the mind back to the present moment, and not worrying about things beyond one's control.

What is the speaker's perspective on the importance of grades in education?

The speaker believes that while grades are important, they should not be the sole focus. Instead, the emphasis should be on developing effective study habits and learning from both successes and failures.

Outlines

00:00

🤔 The Essence of Confidence and Self-Development

The speaker begins by addressing the common question of confidence, challenging the audience to consider if they genuinely believe they deserve it. Confidence is described as an 'undeniable stack of proof' of one's identity, achieved through consistent effort and preparation, much like athletes who perform best when they've trained hardest. The speaker emphasizes the importance of developing character and skills, rather than passively waiting for confidence to emerge. They critique societal norms that discourage self-reflection and advocate for self-discipline and commitment to personal promises, even when emotions fade. The role of education is briefly mentioned, suggesting that it should be a tool for self-development rather than just following a prescribed path.

05:03

🛌 Building Discipline Through Small, Achievable Goals

This paragraph delves into the concept of discipline, suggesting that it's a misunderstood and often elusive quality. The speaker proposes a methodical approach to building discipline, starting with an overarching goal and breaking it down into practical, actionable steps. Using the analogy of maintaining a relationship, the speaker illustrates how even simple tasks like making one's bed can be a foundational step towards self-discipline. The importance of setting a timetable and the inevitability of failure are acknowledged, with the speaker encouraging the audience to learn from these setbacks and to build progressively on their successes.

10:03

🧲 The Power of Positive Influence and Building Community

The speaker discusses the impact of the people around us on our personal growth, emphasizing the need to be mindful of the energies we allow into our lives. They share a personal experience where negative influences derailed their progress, highlighting the importance of setting boundaries and distancing oneself from negativity. The paragraph outlines steps to build a good community, starting with recognizing and leaving negative situations, spending time alone to develop oneself, and eventually becoming a magnet for like-minded individuals. The speaker stresses the importance of aligning with people who inspire and support one's goals.

15:05

🌱 Cultivating Personal Growth Through Selective Social Interactions

The speaker continues the discussion on community building by emphasizing the importance of recognizing and removing oneself from negative social environments. They suggest that one should protect their mental space like it's their most innocent friend and take steps to ensure that their goals and values align with those around them. The speaker encourages finding mentors and role models to emulate, as their positive energies can inspire and guide personal development.

20:08

👥 The Impact of Social Media and Thoughtful Community Building

In this paragraph, the speaker addresses the role of social media in one's life, advocating for a conscious effort to follow creators who inspire and teach, rather than those who induce negative feelings. They stress the importance of consuming content that contributes to personal growth and the building of supportive communities. The speaker also discusses the process of building a good community, which includes recognizing negative influences, removing oneself from such environments, spending time alone to develop skills and interests, and becoming a magnet for like-minded individuals.

25:08

💆‍♂️ Prioritizing Physical Health as a Reflection of Self-Respect

The speaker highlights the significance of maintaining a healthy physical appearance as a form of self-respect and a means to make a positive first impression. They discuss the importance of regular exercise, a balanced diet, grooming routines, and personal hygiene. The paragraph emphasizes that taking care of one's physical health not only influences how others perceive us but also serves as a subconscious message to oneself about the value and importance of personal well-being.

30:09

🚫 Controlling the Controllable and Letting Go of Anxiety

This paragraph focuses on the concept of controlling what one can and letting go of worries about the uncontrollable to reduce anxiety. The speaker suggests that being present and focusing on the moment are key to managing anxiety. They also touch on the idea that confidence comes from within and is not dependent on the opinions of others. The speaker uses the example of academic performance to illustrate how focusing on controllable factors, such as study habits and effort, can lead to improved outcomes and a sense of self-assuredness.

📚 Embracing a Growth Mindset in Education and Beyond

The speaker concludes by sharing personal insights on education, emphasizing that grades are not the sole measure of success but rather a byproduct of one's approach to learning. They advocate for a growth mindset, where both good and bad grades are opportunities to evaluate and improve study habits. The speaker expresses excitement about their new journey on YouTube, where they aim to guide others on their path of self-discovery and healing, encouraging them to recognize and embrace their potential.

Keywords

💡Confidence

Confidence in the video script is portrayed as a result of self-assurance and the accumulation of evidence supporting one's abilities and identity. It is linked to the theme of personal development and self-improvement. The speaker uses the metaphor of athletes to illustrate that confidence comes from consistent effort and preparation, rather than magically appearing.

💡Discipline

Discipline is discussed as a critical component of building confidence. It is defined as the ability to control oneself and adhere to a regimen or set of rules. The script emphasizes that discipline is not innate but must be cultivated through small, actionable steps, such as making one's bed every day as a starting point for developing a more organized life.

💡Self-healing

Self-healing is presented as a journey of personal growth and introspection. It involves recognizing and addressing negative patterns or influences in one's life. The script uses the term to describe the process of removing oneself from negative situations and people, which is essential for building a positive mental space and fostering self-improvement.

💡Goal-setting

Goal-setting is highlighted as a fundamental step in developing discipline and confidence. The script explains that having clear, overarching goals helps to provide direction and motivation. It also suggests breaking down these goals into smaller, manageable tasks, using the example of organizing one's life to avoid sabotaging a significant relationship.

💡Accountability

Accountability is the concept of being responsible for one's actions and decisions. In the context of the video, it is tied to the idea of self-reflection and the recognition of one's shortcomings. The speaker mentions an 'accountability mirror' as a metaphor for self-assessment and the need to improve when one fails to meet their own standards.

💡Mentorship

Mentorship is introduced as a valuable asset in personal development. It refers to the guidance and influence of experienced individuals who can inspire and teach. The script suggests that surrounding oneself with mentors or role models can positively impact one's growth and success, as their 'energies' can subconsciously influence one's behavior and mindset.

💡Community

Community, in the script, refers to the group of people one surrounds oneself with. It is emphasized that the people in one's community can significantly affect one's confidence and personal growth. The speaker outlines steps to build a good community, including recognizing negative influences, removing oneself from negativity, spending time alone to develop skills, and becoming a 'magnet' for like-minded individuals.

💡Content Consumption

Content consumption is the act of engaging with various forms of media and information. The script discusses the impact of the content one consumes, particularly on social media, and how it can influence self-perception and motivation. It encourages viewers to curate their media intake by following creators who inspire and teach, rather than those who induce feelings of insecurity or lethargy.

💡Physical Appearance

Physical appearance is discussed in relation to self-respect and the impression one makes on others. The script argues that taking care of one's physical health and appearance, through exercise, grooming, and skincare, not only affects how others perceive you but also serves as a form of self-care that can boost confidence from within.

💡Control

Control, in the context of the video, is about focusing on the aspects of life that one can influence and letting go of the things beyond one's influence. The speaker advises against worrying about uncontrollable factors and instead encourages viewers to concentrate on personal development and self-improvement, which are within their control.

💡Anxiety

Anxiety is presented as a common issue that arises from focusing on future uncertainties and things outside one's control. The script suggests that reducing anxiety involves bringing one's mind back to the present moment and concentrating on what can be controlled, thereby fostering a sense of calm and confidence.

Highlights

Confidence is built through consistent effort and preparation, not by waiting for it to appear.

Athletes' confidence stems from their rigorous training and commitment to improvement.

The importance of developing character and skills to foster genuine self-confidence.

Society often teaches us to follow rather than to think critically and develop ourselves.

The role of discipline in building confidence and the challenge of maintaining it.

Creating an overarching goal to guide the development of discipline.

Breaking down larger goals into actionable steps to build discipline incrementally.

The non-linear journey of self-improvement and the importance of humility in recognizing our limitations.

The impact of the people around us on our confidence and personal growth.

Steps to build a good community that supports and encourages personal growth.

The need to spend time alone to focus on personal development.

Becoming a magnet for like-minded individuals by focusing on self-improvement.

The influence of the content we consume on our self-confidence and mindset.

The importance of a healthy physical appearance as a reflection of self-respect and confidence.

Investing in oneself through skincare, grooming, and personal care as a confidence booster.

Controlling what you can and letting go of worries about things beyond your control to reduce anxiety.

The perspective on school grades as a byproduct of effective study habits rather than the end goal.

The speaker's personal journey and commitment to helping others on their path to self-discovery.

Transcripts

I've been doing social media for a

little bit now and this is probably the

most frequently asked questions let me

return it back to you do you believe

that you deserve to have confidence

like genuinely honestly let's take us to

Academia do you believe that you're

doing everything that you need to be

doing in order to have confidence

or are you sitting there with your hands

behind your back just waiting for

confidence to appear in your lap

you see confidence is having an

undeniable stack of proof that you are

exactly who you say that you are

it's about outworking yourself down

you see um we use this metaphor a lot um

on my pages but

when it comes to athletes right they are

so confident on the pitch on the court

on the field

why why is it just because they

magically got this confidence when a

million eyes are watching them

no no they're so confident on Match day

because they know that they've shown up

for themselves every single day prior to

game day

and they know that they've done

everything they can possibly do to be

the most prepared to be having the best

performance they can possibly have

you see that's how we got to treat a lot

of our lives right so many times we just

think that it's going to magically

appear for us but it won't

are you taking the time to develop your

character are you taking the time to

develop a skill

are you like genuinely like are you like

like think honestly about your life have

you been doing that

and to be honest I probably don't blame

you so much

um a lot of our lives especially in our

society teaches us to not think teaches

us to just follow the resume

you know I think school probably plays a

big role in this and this is coming from

a person that's getting bachelor's and

Masters in biomedical engineering so I'm

not against school by any means we'll

talk about that later in this video

um but you have to spend your time that

that isn't allocated towards School

especially for the younger ones watching

to develop yourself or maybe actually

use school to develop yourself right

keep your promises

keep them stay committed to your

promises long after the emotions in

which you originally set them in subside

because they will we've all experienced

this right and no man is free if they

cannot control themselves

and so you've got to stay disciplined

how do you do that right and I think

this is the part that bothers me a lot

because we see so many people on social

media say have discipline have it and

then you'll be good and that that holds

a lot of weight because it's a big part

of that is true but how do you build it

it's not easy it's not easy I bet all of

us that have tried have failed right

even if you've succeeded eventually

you've probably originally failed now

imagine how many people out there are so

down on themselves because they know

that they should be building discipline

but they don't know how to no one's ever

taught them so I'ma teach you we'll

break it down we'll break this down all

right so I think number one

have an overarching goal of why you want

to have that discipline in the first

place right so we need an example for

today's purposes so let's say that you

found

your significant other and she's perfect

she's everything that you've been

looking for and you want to do

everything that you can possibly do to

not sabotage that relationship now

that's pretty pretty admirable goal if I

say so myself so

that's number one number two

continue to break down that goal until

you get

a practical

actionable

step that you will actually do

now that was a lot but what do I mean

now

let's say that one part of you not

sabotaging this relationship is that you

want to be

having an organized life yourself right

like you find yourself so disorderly

um

like everything about you life is

disorderly and you know that that's

a place that you need to start at

in order to get to the ultimate goal of

not self-sabotaging a relationship

so let's break that down even further

do you do you make your bed in the

morning

do you

I know so many of you guys are probably

watching this saying oh that's so silly

that's such an easy thing to do is it

even if it's easy in the sense of you

don't necessarily need the most amount

of effort to get it that you don't need

the most amount of time to get it done

is it trivial by any means no because I

bet more than half of us watching this

don't make our beds in the morning we

wait on Mom and Dad to make our beds

right but it's not made at all that's a

problem

okay take some responsibility here so

let's start there that will be the most

broken down micro goal that we're gonna

aim to accomplish

okay and the number three set a

timetable for yourself

let's say for the next seven days you're

gonna make your bed

do it okay you're gonna of course the

number one thing to note to yourself is

actually make your bet successfully

accomplish the task at hand and I

guarantee even if you start with making

your bet a lot of us will fail with this

a lot of us after a week will pass that

uh something uh we relate to work one

day we were just rushing out of bed and

we forgot to do it

you can't even make your bed

you're talking about having a successful

fulfilling relationship

and you can't even keep yourself in

check like we have to break it down to

the point that we have humility to say

wow

we are so useless to the point that we

can't even do this and so if you can't

achieve that your responsibility would

be to look in that mirror the

accountability mirror and be like all

right how do I go further than that like

how how do I peel back another layer but

let's say for this example

um you successfully did it

you successfully made your bed for the

seven days now

you might be asking yourself oh do I

really have to start such a small small

task and small goal it seems again so

trivial

again I explain that it's not trivial

but another thing that you have to

remember is that

this self-healing journey this

self-discovery journey

this working on Yourself Journey is

certainly not linear I think that's

something that people forget a lot of

times

but let's I think if we flip it that

it'll make a lot of sense for us like

how many times do we make a bad decision

and then it leads to two bad decisions

then leads to four bad decisions maybe

16 bad decisions

you see like that happens to us all the

time so it's like we'll make a bad

decision we'll make a bad decision we'll

make a bad decision and it'll go

crash burns

but it's the same idea in terms of

progress like if you make your bed sure

that might be like a slight little

increase for yourself

for those math people the slope might

not be that great

but I guarantee

if you can incrementally build on that

so the week following you add another

task for yourself that's not

substantially more complex than what you

started off with in terms of making your

bed

but just small progresses

it starts to build up it starts to build

up and it becomes this exponential curve

and then you'll find yourself at a place

that that you might not even recognize

Who You Are right like that's how much

you would have progressed and it will

all start with something as small as

making your bed the people around you

matter

they do and I know we've all heard that

before and probably most of us are still

not willing to admit it because I wasn't

willing to admit it

um I'll give you a good example of how

people's energies can impact your life

so when I was about one year into this

self-healing self-discovery journey of

mine I felt really good about where I

was like really good

um I felt really confident and I had

allowed someone to come into my life

and once I start recognizing some of

those red flags I didn't have the

courage to set those boundaries and to

remove myself from that situation

and so that person

if you're anything like me you invest a

lot in the people close to you right so

you'll spend a lot of time with them

they ruined everything that I built up

in that year prior everything I referred

back to all my old habits and I started

to follow a lot of the things that they

were doing not just the actions

themselves but the thought processes

like I was complaining a lot more

I was gossiping a lot more

and subconsciously too it wasn't like I

knew what I was doing it just happened

this happens because

so many times we underestimate the power

in which

people's energies can have on you

but but it works the other way too and

so

if you can find mentors or if you can

find people

that are good good role models for you

it'll do the same thing their energies

will just radiate onto you and you will

just naturally subconsciously follow a

lot of the things that made them

successful so find good people now this

brings me to a whole other thing though

I bet you're asking like

how do I build a good community

I feel that's any of our goals like

how do you build a good community and

again this is something that no one

really talks about but let me let me try

and break this down as well

I think there are four steps

first you recognize that you're in a

situation in which

there's too much negativity

you realize that the people around you

like your current friend group none of

them support you

you realize that they make fun of you a

lot that they make jokes at your expense

a lot that you realize that they don't

encourage you you realize that their

goals aren't big enough

for you

that's number one that you have this

mental space that you want to protect

like like it's your child I know I know

that might be exaggerating a little bit

but treat it like it's your most

innocent friend you want to do

everything that you can do to possibly

protect it that's how you protect your

mental space so number one is

recognizing the negative situation that

you're in that it's not good for your

mental space number two remove yourself

from that negativity

and this doesn't mean that you got to be

rude about it like I this isn't to say

that you're better than anyone it's just

that they have a value system and you

have your own and they're going to go to

places in which that value system will

carry out to and you will do the same

but you realize because their goals

aren't aligned with yours you need to

step away you need to remove yourself

from the negativity

again you don't have to be rude about it

if they say hey like we got a party

Friday

um

you you want to come out just be like

hey I'm working on

um X Y and Z and I just need some time

to do it but I hope you guys have a

great time that's all when you see them

in public you don't have to just

completely ignore them and shun them out

of your life you can say hi but you

don't have to necessarily associate all

your free time with them and this is

another part right like

people people underestimate

what going out like one of those nights

does to you on the weekend like the

weekends is meant to to

finally had the time necessary to

develop everything that you want to

develop if you're using that time to

party and all that like think about it

like after a party on Friday now you're

probably not feeling all that great

Saturday you're probably sleeping in

Saturday right and it puts you behind

all your goals for Saturday and Sunday

and so say that's not your Vibe I'm not

I'm not like saying that that if that is

your Vibe there's anything wrong with

you I'm talking to those individuals

that want to be doing something a little

bit different in their lives so then

number two it's removing your stuff from

that negativity number three

this is a part that you might not like

so much you have to spend time alone you

gotta be alone wolf

you just do because

once you remove yourself from the

negativity you're gonna recognize that

you have so much of this free space

and that free space in terms of time and

energy right that's what space consists

of

you use it to finally

tackle some of the goals that you had in

life

like whether it's you want to start

social media

whether it's you want to pick up an

instrument

whether it's you want to develop your

skills in a sport

whatever it is you get time to do that

whether it's you trying to make money

and start a business like whatever that

is you have the time to do that right so

initially it's gonna it's gonna be

lonely right like it's okay if you guys

are on step three right now it's lonely

like originally it's lonely but once you

start

fulfilling that those empty spots that

you would use to hang out with friends

with

um to actually develop your own skills

it becomes a lot less lonely

number four

this is the part that's the coolest

you become the magnet in which

like-minded individuals come together

and grow together

you get that you become the magnet in

which you would track like-minded

individuals together and to grow

together

you see so many times we we spend

energy

seeking the right groups of people

and there's definitely time and place

for that don't get me wrong

but what we don't do is take those steps

that I just recognized because if you

don't take those prior steps right when

you do find high value individuals that

you want to keep as a community you

might not be able to keep them around

for long you might not be able to

contribute to the group you know like if

you find some really successful people

and you're able to put on a mask

originally and be like Oh I got my life

together oh I can contribute to this

group oh I'm a high value individual

myself

you get six months down the road your

true colors are gonna start to show and

that group might not be willing to stay

stick around for you and they don't need

to it's not their job to to bring you up

entirely from scratch it's your it's

your job

to have gone through that healing

journey by taking on those previous

three steps

so that when a community is attracted to

you because you're the magnet in which

like-minded people come

you're ready for

I think that is how you build a good

community that encourages you that

supports your goals that tells you that

that hey you look good today and you

actually believe it

that's how you attain confidence you got

a good crew around you of high value

individuals you know that that okay

people's energies they can have such an

impact on you but I'm chilling like I'm

good because I know the people I

surround myself with subconsciously

don't make me better change the content

that you consume change it start there

so many times we think that a healthy

diet is only about the foods that we

consume for our stomach but I'm telling

you it's not a healthy diet is all about

the thoughts that you feed to your mind

and your soul but that happens that

Source comes from all places in our

lives

but let me start with the content that

you consume first right like social

media is a part of our lives but it

doesn't necessarily have to be a

negative one are there creators out

there that make you feel lethargic and

feel bad about yourself and feel really

insecure after you consume their content

absolutely those are the ones to stay

away from those are the ones I hope you

unfollow right after this video actually

go ahead right now do it I do believe

that there are creators out there that

inspire you

I believe that there are creators out

there that teach you I believe that

social media and the internet is a great

source to learn it's a great place to

build some of those communities that

you're looking for but if you are

constantly consuming

reality TV shows in your free time

and then you're wondering why you're not

confident

does that does that make sense like

does it genuinely no it doesn't make

sense because you're not using any of

those contents to actually improve

yourself right and so if you've got to

be spending time on social media and you

don't necessarily want to completely cut

it out of your life I also think that's

viable if you're not capable of

distinguishing the two

um then follow creators that actually

are good for you so revamp your feed so

many of you guys are following like even

3 000 people how many of those three

thousand people are actually better in

your life

and how much of those three thousand

people are you actually able to consume

the content that's too many people right

maybe there's like 150 50 people from

school you got like your family and

friends

and then the rest should be just

creators that inspire you to do what you

want to be doing so if you want to be

doing social media follow creators that

teach you how to do social media

follow

um David Goggins I follow him that that

inspires you to outwork your own

limitations right so change the content

that you consume if you change the

content that you consume you have the

self-confidence that grows from within

but it's not necessarily just media

right it's also about the people around

you right like if you're going to Joe

and you say Joe

I just achieved

um

X goal let's say that you got a really

good grade on your

um exam

but let's say Joe's in that class and

Joe did not do so well on that exam is

Joe going to you and saying oh like of

course it's because you're tryhard

is Joe doing that

forget Joe

ignore Joe remove Joe

because so many times the encouragement

that we get from our friends are so fake

and you know that

you don't need that you need people in

your life that even if they did poorly

on it they're like wow like that's so

incredible I know that you work really

hard because it matters to you if if

you're Joe you should be trying to learn

from your friend be like hey hey um hey

June like can you uh teach me how to

um study for our next

drink exam

like that's the type of friends that you

need so the the content is definitely

social media like definitely media in

general because it's become so ingrained

in our lives change the content that you

consume but also again change the

content in in terms of the thoughts that

are being presented to you by the people

closest to you your physical appearance

is really important

and before any of you guys say oh June

that sort of surface level none of that

stuff really matters let me try and

explain myself okay just give me a

minute um but before I talk about the

why let's talk about what like what what

do I mean by healthy physical appearance

are you training enough

are you watching what you put in your

body in terms of food and drink do you

have a proper grooming routine do you

have a skincare routine do you have a

hair care routine

are you wearing cologne and deodorant on

a regular basis do you shower regularly

like really like rewind what I just said

and

answer yes or no

and this is for my guys too right like

this isn't just like

a skincare routine and if you have

longer hair your hair care routine and

wearing cologne and deodorant that

really is so important it's so important

for you as well and the earlier you

start the better right and so

um ask yourself yes or no and then let's

talk a little bit about why this is

important because this is our first

impression it is it just is right and so

when someone looks at you and when you

um first introduce yourself to them they

subconsciously think

about your physical appearance right and

they think oh they don't look like they

do any of those things that I just first

mentioned

they're like um maybe this person

doesn't respect themselves right and so

why would I need to respect that

and yes do I believe your personality

and the energy that you bring is all way

way way way more important absolutely

but does your physical appearance a lot

of times get your foot in the door to

even be able to Showcase that

unfortunately yes

so take care of your physical health and

and also you feel good you look good

that's a real thing right like if you're

wearing clothes that you that you like

like I like this brown shirt like I like

the necklaces that I'm wearing I like

the accessories that I'm wearing

um I train regularly I eat healthy

when I look at myself I look good and

then I feel good right like I know that

when I'm going up to meet someone that I

have my best self on right and so it's

so important to take care of your

physical health because it's a

representation of you outwardly

get me this outwardly about your respect

to yourself but also inwardly

also inwardly also inwardly like and you

taking care of yourself and going to the

gym

you eating healthy you

um

take care of your skin

my guys take care of your skin taking

care of your hair

to carrying over clothes

it subconsciously tells yourself that

you matter like oh I I'm actually

important enough to spend time to invest

my energy as well as my money to better

those things because I'm at it's like

this it's like so many of our Lives we

spend just draining ourselves trying to

help others like just training ourselves

and people will take and take and take

and take and take but you never spend

that time and energy and money on

yourself right like like go like it none

of this stuff has to be super expensive

right like go and buy yourself like a

skincare routine set right like so here

let me break no for those that don't

know anything about taking care of your

skin you need something to remove the

dirt and the gross stuff off your face

and then you need healthy stuff to put

onto your face so you nourish it right

but to break it down all you need is a

face wash you need a lotion and

sunscreen sunscreen because oh if you if

I hear anybody say like huh uh I don't

burn easily I don't need yes you do you

do because when you get acne because we

all get acne I get acne it it it does

something called hyperpigmentation right

and that's when your face gets a little

bit like those red spots on your face

and those things don't go away for a

while if you're in the sun it makes

those spots even darker wear sunscreen

so that's a simple skincare routine

right

um go buy yourself a good smelling

cologne like I I think I I wear

something is I wear something really

simple it's like Dolce Gabbana like I

forget what it's called Light Blue for

men I don't know something like that

it's like 30 bucks on Amazon

it smells incredible and last me like

five months

oh you you're spending like 30 bucks on

like

two Chipotle bowls okay I'm a huge fan

of Chipotle all my good friends know

this but you're willing to spend 30

bucks on your food in like a matter of

two days you're not willing to invest in

smelling good for like entire six

month alone

or like a five dollar deodorant stick

come on right like invest in yourself

because you are outwardly telling people

that you care about yourself that you

respect yourself but more importantly

inwardly that's a great source of your

confidence when you're subconsciously

telling yourself I'm willing to invest

in me because I am important and

deserving of that investment control

what you can control

stop worrying about everything else in

this world

um it's funny because naturally I think

we're inclined to worry about everything

that we can't control and that gives us

a ton of anxiety right so another

question I get a lot is like how do you

how do you

um decrease your anxiety

and there's actually a really cool video

that I just saw about this

um but it gets at the idea that I always

talk to you guys about it and it is

bring yourself back bring yourself back

literally bring yourself back a lot of

times when we are anxiety stricken it's

because we are so much in the future

mentally while our physical bodies are

still here in the present bring your

mind that's so out there in the future

with things that they can't control and

bring it back with its physical body

reunite those two because in the moment

that's all that you can control so

control what you can control and

um if you allocate the time necessary

and the energy necessary to focus on

yourself and to control the things that

you can control like like for example

you can't control what Joe says about

you I don't like if he's a joke but you

can't you can't control what Joe says

about you but you can't control how you

feel about yourself like what is

confidence it's it's not about walking

into a room wearing oh this Joe and

Sally care about me do they notice me do

they think they don't look good no

confidence is I don't care what Jill and

Sally has to say I feel good I know that

I put in the time I know that to put in

the preparation necessary to look this

good I know that I know that that I

brought in the preparation to to be

knowledgeable about this subject that

we're going to be talking about so

that's all that matters I feel good

about me because I know what I can

control I can't control what they're

gonna think I'm gonna give school as an

example because I know a lot of us are

students and I'm a student right let me

talk to you guys about something that

was probably the most eye-opening thing

ever I remember when I was about 16

years old I know this because I was part

of my youth group and my pastor had said

hey June like how are you doing so well

in school and do you mind teaching some

of the younger kids coming up and I told

them that it's funny because I don't see

school in the way that most people see

school like I don't see school as all

about attaining grades now this is

coming from like an all honor student in

high school taking all those AP classes

and a bsms biomedical engineering degree

student currently in his fourth year on

a Dean's List

3.75 GPA or whatever the case may be

like this is someone that that succeeds

really well telling you that it's not

all about the grades right but the

grades become a byproduct of your

perspective on it so then hear me out so

you might not necessarily be able to

control

getting good grades every single time

because you can't control what's

necessarily going to be on the exam and

if your teacher just happens to make it

really difficult one day

um you can't control that and that's

okay it's not it's not about getting

good grades all the time but what do I

do when I get a good grade or a bad

grade if I get a good grade I'll do this

oh okay so my studying habits that led

up to that work I'm gonna continue

building on it if I study for x amount

of time for this one class and it was

sufficient for me to have a good grade

maybe I'm like okay maybe I can decrease

the time a little bit there like I don't

want to decrease it too much because I

know that it's working but maybe because

I'm doing good in that class I can

decrease the time spent on a little bit

and so I can allocate it to another

class that might have a little bit more

difficulty in

okay

um I know that I know that taking notes

this way was successful because I got a

good grade I'm gonna continue to take

notes that way

on the flip side if you get a bad grade

it's not the end of the world it's not

you're gonna graduate this is what you

do you look at it you say okay well

that kind of sucks but that's all right

because I'm gonna

look at it and say hey maybe I got to

spend a little bit more time on this

subject or maybe I'm just not

efficiently using my type stuff maybe I

should study better

how do I study better

um how many office hours did I go to for

my professor how many times did I email

my teacher oh only like twice this week

maybe I should bump that up to four or I

didn't go to any office hours maybe I

should go to one or

um how many of my friends did I reach

out to for help about this stuff zero

maybe I should reach out to one or two

um how much

did I raise my hand in class uh just

just like four times this week I should

bump that up to six

like there are things that you can

control and I guarantee the good grades

will follow it's like people will tell

you oh this is the best study tip and

study habits that you need to have right

but if you don't if you just think that

those are gonna be like Lifesavers for

you you're in for a rough ride because

those things aren't might not like

necessarily work for you right but what

does work for you is looking at the

things that you've done prior and

building on the good things and fixing

the bad things

that's all natural you take a step back

a few months after doing that you're

like whoa that's cool my grades like

rose and maybe what's linear maybe you

had some good grades you get a bad one

and then it went up and then it went up

then went down again and then went up

but at that end point versus your first

point I guarantee there's a difference

and that range

that's all a product of the work that

you put in

in terms of what you can control and

that should wrap up part one of how to

gain confidence

um as many of you guys know this is my

very first video on YouTube

um I've been doing Tick Tock and

Instagram for the last two and a half

three years just I haven't been able to

grow those accounts pretty substantially

but

um I think I'm gonna enjoy this live

um I really do feel that there's nothing

more fulfilling than trying to help you

guys in this self-discovering

self-healing journey that we're all on

and I just hope that that

I can show how much potential that all

of you have

you know I think a lot of times the

greatest fears are not that we are

inadequate or incapable of achieving

something it's that we are capable that

we may be powerful beyond measure and

it's that small voice and I started

calling us to be doctors or lawyers or

biomedical Engineers or musicians

that are actually our callings and that

we would be really good at it like

that's our fear but never taking the

chance on it so I'm gonna teach you guys

as much as I possibly can on this

journey

um and I couldn't be more exciting I

love you all and have a wonderful day