How to Stop Being Awkward Around Girls

Summary

The video script offers practical advice for men on how to avoid awkwardness when interacting with women. It covers seven key points, including the importance of being present, maintaining calm energy, dressing well, avoiding signs of fear, using strategic first impressions, taking up space confidently, and the necessity of practice to improve social skills. The speaker emphasizes the need to observe and appreciate the person you're talking to, slow down the pace of conversation, and be mindful of body language and appearance to create a comfortable and engaging interaction.

Takeaways

• 😣 Overthinking can lead to awkwardness in social interactions; being present and observing the other person can help overcome this.
• 😌 Maintaining a calm demeanor and relaxed energy is crucial for avoiding awkwardness and creating a comfortable atmosphere.
• 👕 The way you dress can influence first impressions; it's important to dress in a way that reflects confidence and style.
• 😨 Physical cues of nervousness, like lip biting or darting eyes, can make others feel uncomfortable; awareness and conscious effort can help manage these behaviors.
• 😊 Holding eye contact and having a slight smirk can communicate confidence and interest, which are key to successful flirting.
• 🤝 First impressions are vital and can be influenced by factors like clothing, posture, and handshakes; it's important to make a strong initial impact.
• 🕒 Strategically managing the first 60 seconds of an interaction can set the tone for the rest of the conversation, even if you're naturally introverted.
• 🛋️ Taking up space confidently through body language can project comfort and ease, which is attractive in social situations.
• 🤔 Regular practice and reflection on social interactions can improve social skills over time, much like any other skill.
• 👥 Being part of a community or tribe that shares similar goals can provide support, accountability, and opportunities for growth.

Q & A

What is the main issue the video aims to address?

The video aims to address the issue of awkwardness when interacting with women and provides advice on how to overcome it.

What is the first piece of advice given to avoid awkwardness around women?

The first piece of advice is to stop getting stuck in one's head and instead observe the woman visually, which helps to be present and express oneself naturally.

What does the video suggest as a method to prevent overthinking while talking to women?

The video suggests observing something about the woman, either visually or based on her behavior, as a method to prevent overthinking.

What is the significance of the 'elevator picture' in the context of the video?

The 'elevator picture' is an example of an awkward interaction that the video uses to illustrate the importance of calm and relaxed energy during conversations.

How does the video define 'smooth' in the context of interacting with women?

In the context of the video, 'smooth' is defined as having calm, lower, and relaxed energy while conversing with women, which helps to avoid awkwardness.

What role does clothing play according to the video?

According to the video, clothing plays a significant role in non-verbal communication and can signal certain traits about a person to others before any interaction takes place.

What is the video's stance on the importance of first impressions?

The video emphasizes the importance of first impressions, stating that they can significantly influence how others perceive you and can persist despite later positive interactions.

What is the 'space game' mentioned in the video and why is it important?

The 'space game' refers to the amount of physical space one takes up during an interaction, which is important because it can convey confidence and comfort.

How does the video suggest one should approach the initial moments of meeting someone new?

The video suggests that one should bring their 'A-game' for the first 60 seconds of meeting someone new to make a strong, positive first impression.

What is the final advice given in the video for improving social skills around women?

The final advice is to treat social skills as something that can be improved through deliberate practice, similar to developing any other skill.

What is Beast Nation and how does it relate to the video's content?

Beast Nation is a community for men to work together on self-improvement, including a dating module and live calls for feedback, which relates to the video's focus on improving interactions with women.

Outlines

00:00

😅 Overcoming Awkwardness in Social Interactions

The speaker discusses the awkward moments he's experienced while interacting with women and introduces the topic of the video: seven behaviors to stop when around women to avoid awkwardness. He emphasizes the importance of being present and not getting stuck in one's head while conversing. The speaker shares a trick to observe women visually to prevent overthinking and to express oneself naturally, using a personal anecdote from Miami to illustrate the point.

05:03

👕 The Impact of Wardrobe on First Impressions

This paragraph focuses on how one's attire can influence the way others perceive them, especially in social settings involving women. The speaker suggests that clothing can signal personality traits and should be chosen carefully, like leveling up a character in a video game. He promotes his own clothing line, Edge Lifestyle, offering a discount to viewers and highlighting the importance of stylish yet masculine clothing to avoid being labeled as awkward or unattractive before even speaking.

10:03

😟 Addressing Fear and Anxiety in Conversations

The speaker addresses the fear and anxiety that can arise when talking to someone attractive or intimidating, which can lead to subconscious behaviors that signal discomfort. He advises being aware of these cues, such as lip-biting or darting eyes, and consciously deciding to stop them. The speaker also recommends adopting a relaxed demeanor, maintaining eye contact, and using a slight smirk as a flirting technique to convey confidence and interest.

15:04

🤝 The Power of First Impressions and Body Language

The paragraph delves into the significance of first impressions and how they are formed within seconds of meeting someone. The speaker discusses various studies that highlight factors influencing first impressions, such as clothing style and posture. He then shares his strategy as an introvert to make a strong first impression by being overly confident and composed for the first minute of a conversation. Additionally, he touches on the importance of taking up space with proper body language to appear and feel more comfortable.

💪 The Importance of Practice in Social Skills

The speaker emphasizes that social skills, like any other skill, require deliberate practice to improve. He dispels the myth that confidence is a prerequisite for social skills and instead encourages viewing social interactions as opportunities for growth. The speaker suggests reflecting on each interaction to identify strengths and areas for improvement, comparing it to the process of building physical strength or improving skills like video editing.

🔗 Building a Supportive Community for Growth

In the final paragraph, the speaker introduces Beast Nation, a community designed to help men improve various aspects of their lives, including dating skills. He outlines the benefits of joining the community, such as access to a dating module, weekly live calls for feedback, and a network of like-minded individuals for support and accountability. The speaker invites viewers to learn more and join the community to take their social skills to the next level.

Keywords

💡awkward encounters

Awkward encounters refer to uncomfortable or embarrassing social interactions. In the video, the speaker discusses the theme of awkwardness when interacting with women and how it can lead to self-doubt. The script mentions 'extremely awkward moments' and 'awkward Energy' as issues that need to be addressed to improve social skills.

💡self-doubt

Self-doubt is the feeling of uncertainty in one's own abilities or worth. The video script talks about how awkward moments can lead to 'questioning ourselves' and feeling inadequate, such as 'making us feel like we're never going to be able to get a top tier girl.'

💡non-verbal communication

Non-verbal communication includes body language, eye contact, and other visual cues that convey messages. The script emphasizes the importance of maintaining eye contact and having a relaxed body language to avoid coming across as 'looking scared' or 'awkward'.

💡eye contact

Eye contact is a form of non-verbal communication that shows confidence and attentiveness. The video mentions the importance of 'holding eye contact the entire time' during conversations with women as a way to project confidence and show that one is actively listening.

💡confidence

Confidence is a belief in one's own abilities and self-assurance. The script repeatedly addresses the need for confidence in social interactions, such as 'fighting against that impulse' to appear nervous and instead projecting a 'chill vibe' by being calm and collected.

💡first impressions

First impressions are the initial judgments people make about others, often within seconds of meeting. The video discusses the impact of first impressions, stating that they 'will prevail and persist,' and advises viewers to focus on making a strong first impression to avoid being labeled as 'awkward' or 'insecure.'

💡strategic manipulation

Strategic manipulation in this context refers to the intentional use of certain behaviors to influence how one is perceived. The speaker mentions using 'strategic moves' to appear confident and composed within the first minute of meeting someone, which can set the tone for the rest of the interaction.

💡practice

Practice is the act of repeatedly performing an activity to improve skill. The video emphasizes that social skills, like any other, require deliberate practice. The speaker encourages viewing social interactions as opportunities for 'practice' and 'growth,' rather than as daunting challenges.

💡body language

Body language consists of the gestures, postures, and movements that express thoughts and feelings. The script advises against closed-off body language, such as 'crossing our arms and legs,' which can signal discomfort. Instead, it suggests taking up more space and maintaining an open posture to appear relaxed and confident.

💡social skills

Social skills are the abilities to interact effectively with others. The video's main theme revolves around improving social skills, particularly with women, by addressing common issues like awkwardness, self-doubt, and nervousness, and by learning to observe, be confident, and practice these skills.

Highlights

The importance of being present and not getting stuck in one's head while talking to women to avoid awkwardness.

A trick to overcome overthinking by observing something about the woman to stay present in the conversation.

The significance of calm and relaxed energy in conversations to prevent awkwardness and create a chill vibe.

How to use pauses and slower speech to project confidence and reduce nervous energy.

The impact of wardrobe on first impressions and the importance of dressing to signal confidence.

The psychological aspect of first impressions and how they can shape future interactions.

Strategic manipulation of initial interactions to create a positive first impression.

The concept of 'space game' and how taking up space can convey confidence and comfort.

The idea that social skills, like any other, require deliberate practice and continuous improvement.

The role of body language in conveying confidence, including maintaining eye contact and a slight smirk.

How to avoid subconscious signs of nervousness like lip biting and fidgeting during conversations.

The importance of observing and learning from each social interaction to improve future encounters.

The transformative power of treating social skills as a skill set that can be built over time.

The introduction of 'Beast Nation' as a community for men to improve their social and dating skills.

The benefits of having a support system and accountability in personal development, as offered by Beast Nation.

The concept that no one cares about you as much as you think, which can be liberating and empowering.

The realization that social interactions are not chaotic but can be controlled and improved with practice.

Transcripts

I've had some extremely awkward moments

with the women you from Boston are you

uh I mean I've been living here for a

year but you haven't learned the the

streets yet no not yet

okay one final question I promise one

final question what's your phone

number there you go that was painful to

watch I know but if you're watching this

video then I imagine you've also had

your fair share of awkward encounters

with women that not only feel awkward in

that moment but they kind of make us

question ourselves and make us feel like

we're never going to be able to get a a

top tier girl because we just make them

feel uncomfortable so what we're going

to do in this video is take a look at

seven things that you need to stop doing

immediately around women I can pretty

much guarantee you're doing at least

three or four of these things and once

you remove all of them which is actually

pretty easy once you're aware of it no

longer are you going to have that

awkward Energy number one cut off the

head so from my experience hardest part

about talking to women is that I'd

always get stuck in my head I'd be

second guessing the thing that I was

about to say because maybe she would

think I look like a loser if I say that

or maybe she's not going to find it

funny or maybe it's the wrong time to to

tell her I think she's cute and ask her

out and then you got all these thoughts

comp posibly eating up your brain and

you're unable to actually be present

with the women and just like naturally

express yourself so here's the little

trick I learned that allowed me to

finally get out of my head and and stay

the [ __ ] out yeah yeah yeah I saw your

like cheetah skirt thingy uh-huh I was

like oh this girl is cute oh okay so

that clip was from 2 weeks ago back when

I was in Miami approaching some women on

the street with Coach Kyle and before I

tell you do you know what it is he did

there he used the trick and the trick is

simply to observe the girl because when

you're observing the girl visually and

you pick out something about her like

the cheetah skirt thingy she was wearing

no longer can you get stuck in your head

you can't be in your head and observing

someone at the same time What do you do

tonight I'm just going at my friend's

house right now it's your night she

lives yeah she lives she Saturday past

the party stage P the party stage

honestly I can appreciate that I can

appreciate now this is the second way

that this can be done this was another

approach from that day in Miami and I

observed something about her but it

wasn't something visual I observed that

based on the fact on a Saturday night

she was going to hang out at her

friend's place ah it seems like this is

a chill girl who's passed the party

stage and again it prevented me from

getting stuck in my head and it came

across as this really intuitive flirting

when you're talking to girls stop

worrying about what you're going to say

next and just let yourself observe them

number two smooth is calm let's roll

another approach clip this one is is a

bit older I have to like I I have to

have like elevator picture did you have

for Halloween last night no no

no what now when I watch that it makes

me cringe a little bit and I'm not

saying that it was a complete failure

and I didn't do anything right at all

but it seemed awkward it probably seemed

awkward to you also and for sure that

means it seemed awkward to the girl

right it is frustrating because I

actually do think I did a lot of things

right there but I did this one critical

thing wrong let's compare it to another

conversation so you can see what I'm

talking about would you ever live

anywhere else New York really I don't

love New York I love New York you like

you're layback but you kind of like like

the hustle and bustle and you see with

that one and look I'm not saying I'm the

smoothest operator in the world I'm far

from it but that one felt just a lot

more confident I looked like a much

cooler guy there can you spot the one

critical thing that I did differently

ready here it is in the first clip the

awkward one I had relatively higher

energy levels I was speaking a bit

faster a bit louder even in the second

one the cooler one I had much more calm

lower relaxed energy and I know you

might be thinking no no [ __ ] Bro of

course you got to be relaxed when you're

talking to girls you can't be freaking

out but a lot of times we also think we

have to bring a high energy level and

what I'm saying what I've realized that

was the biggest game Cher for me is by

trying to be almost overly relaxed and

overly calm like you can't overdo it it

creates this really this really chill

Vibe when talking with the girl so I

like to slow my words down kind of like

this when she answers me I'm going to

let there be a pause for a second while

I'm just nodding along and then I'm

going to reply it's like instead of

jumping to the next thing to say I'm

fighting against that impulse even if I

feel a bit nervous inside and forcing

myself to slow down and low down that

energy level as much as possible bro

when you're operating like this it's

impossible for the girl to feel awkward

people only feel that awkward cringy

energy when you have too much energy

number three Mark Zuckerberg so if you

see this guy who happens to be Mark

Zuckerberg walking down the street and

you notice he's about to approach a girl

he's starting to talk to a girl what do

you think how do you think it's going to

go I can tell you for sure this version

of Mark

Zuckerberg it's going to be awkward bro

he's not going to be able to pull it off

like he's not a cool guy forget about

the billions he has for this example by

the way obviously that can help but if I

see this Mark Zuckerberg step steing

onto the street and walking up to a girl

my head's turning I'm thinking bro this

guy's about to drop some game and that

is because the outfit that you're

wearing signals certain things about who

you are to the world around you so if

you roll up looking like awkward Mark

doesn't matter how confident you are or

what you say she's already labeled you

as as kind of an awkward guy he he ain't

got it and that's why I would challenge

you to start looking at your wardrobe

the same way you look at leveling up

your character in a video game the same

way you want him to be wearing the dope

AR the looks cool it looks badass think

about your your style the same way

because the clothes you're wearing they

tell the story of who you are before

someone meets you you cannot be wearing

these clothes to make you look like an

older dude or or or a nerdy dude or or

the game's over before it's begun and

that is why I created Edge lifestyle so

guys could have a place to get simple

stylish Basics to give you that

masculine Edge without going too far and

looking like this fashion NOA tryhard

because you're watching the video I'll

hook you up with the coupon code that

will get you 20% off the the entire

website I'd recommend you grab a pair of

our bestselling joggers these are just

the cleanest everyday pants they're

packed with insane four-way stretch for

Next Level Comfort they have the

perfectly tapered fit not too baggy not

too tight and they're available in a

variety of styles if you like wearing

jeans our premium denim jeans cannot be

beat they got built-in stretch so your

package feels comfortable all day long

and they come in a tapered fit or my

personal favorite the slightly more

relax look and to elevate your T-shirt

game I'd recommend our premium hinley

tea the perfect summer t-shirt and our

enhanced mesh te for the gym it makes

you look jacked and let's be real

there's a lot of attractive girls at the

gym just click that first link in

description or go to Edge lifestyle.com

to shop now that discount code for 20%

off is going to expire in 3 days so

don't sleep on it number four looking

scared so um one one

second

uh uh yeah number four uh number four

when we're in a situation that's scary

to us like talking to a girl that

shouldn't be scary right because

logically we know the worst thing that

happened is rejection but we're in that

situation our base instincts take over

and we start expressing that discomfort

through Visual or physical cues like

biting our lips our eye contact darting

around moving quickly picking at your

fingernails and these things will make a

girl or a guy if you're talking to a guy

it will make them feel uncomfortable and

they'll make them think that you're very

awkward person and I know it's a lot

easier said than done it's difficult to

cut these things out because they're

subconscious like I would always kind of

pick up my lips that that was my thing

so first of all be aware you probably

already know and recognize which of

these Tendencies you have whenever you

catch yourself doing it make a conscious

decision to stop is also going to help

to have that overly relaxed Vibe even if

you're forcing it because when you're

talking more slowly and moving more

slowly it's naturally going to prevent

you from doing some of this [ __ ] and

third make it your intentional Focus to

do the following two things with your

body language when you're talking to a

girl number one is eye contact when

she's talking to you you should hold eye

contact the entire time and politely be

nodding along this shows her that you're

listening and eye contact also is a a

very subtle cue of confidence because

when we're not confident when we're

scared we struggle to hold that eye

contact and second while you're doing

this holding that eye contact and

nodding along also add a slight smirk to

your face not a big cheesy smile like

this that's awkward man but a slight

smirk like this this is the single

biggest flirting trick that I've ever

used cuz when I'm talking to a girl and

I'm doing that it immediately

communicates that I'm into you it

doesn't matter what I'm saying and it

also communicates that I'm comfortable

and I'm confident around you I'm not

scared seriously try this out the next

time you're talking to a girl if there's

one thing you take from this video make

it be this and then watch as the whole

vibe of the conversation changes number

five strategic manipulation you know

it's funny to me that I've been able to

meet these guys like a Wes Watson or a

Jay Waller and be able to sit down with

them like calmly like we're friends guys

like that would have intimidated me in

the past big time and this is how I pull

it off the same way that I'd pull off

talking to a 10 out of 10 girl like it's

nothing so I would never tell you to

manipulate

someone but this maybe qualifies a

little bit as manipulating someone so

look from psychology we know that first

impressions are literally everything

2009 study found that factors ranging

from clothing style to posture play a

significant role into how people make

their Impressions about you 2011 stud

found that a limp handshake can make you

appear overly passive the study's done

that show it takes about 7 seconds for

people to make their minds up about you

and the wild thing is another study

founds that first impressions will

prevail and persist no matter how many

new positive experiences someone has

with you later on so with all this in

mind I've made this strategic decision

in my life because I'm an introvert and

a lot of times people watch the videos

and they're like you're not a [ __ ]

introvert bro well when I make a YouTube

video of course I have to be talking the

whole time or there' be 12 minutes of

silence

that'd be real awkward but I am an

introvert and I do not enjoy meeting new

people and that is why I make the

Strategic move for that first minute

those first 60 seconds of the

conversation to bring my [ __ ] aame

because look if I was to meet you on the

street right now and you came up all

nervous and scared biting your nails and

looking at the ground it doesn't matter

if you got comfortable 5 or 10 minutes

later or I saw you next week and you

were super confident and strong I'm

still going to see you as like the

insecure weak guy which is kind of

depressing but it means that the reverse

is also true that if you were chit in

your pants but but you composed yourself

came up to me made strong eye contact

gave me a firm handshake and spoke

really confidently and calm for the

first 60 seconds even if 5 minutes later

you're nervous as [ __ ] I've already

decided in my mind Hey this is a cool

confident dude I like this guy and for

me this was a game changer because it

allowed me to take a lot of pressure off

of myself that I don't always always

have to be you know at the top of my

social game I just have to be at the top

of my social game when I first meet a

girl I can go in there you know get

everything right those first 60 seconds

talk to her very directly and 5 minutes

later if I say some simpy [ __ ] like oh

yeah like what's the uh you know what's

the weather going to be this weekend

it's looking good what are you going to

do this weekend well if I started week

she would look at that as this awkward

weak ass conversation but if I started

strong she' probably just be like oh

this guy's cool and I like him we're

just talking about the weather now

number six space game so another very

subtle part of non-verbal communication

is how much space do you take up it's a

very simple concept that a lot of guys

[ __ ] up because if I was sitting here

now talking to you and I was kind of

like you know like this taking up less

space we tend to like cross our arms and

cross our legs when we're a little bit

less comfortable you be like who you

going be who the [ __ ] is this guy what

YouTube video am I watching this guy's

scared as [ __ ] now I'm not saying to do

like one of these big like mans spreads

cuz if you're watching the video and I

was you know out here like this you'd

also be like what what's wrong with this

guy but you want to comfortably take up

more space when you're sitting it might

look like this and lean back as well

that adds to that relaxed Vibe and if

you're standing up it's the same thing

as well try not to be you know hunched

over with your feet close together your

hand in your pocket a little bit wider

stance you know shoulders back take

advantage of the environment around you

this is not only going to make you

appear more comfortable but it's

actually going to make you feel more

comfortable as well number seven Ai and

I'm not talking about artificial

intelligence but we talking about

practice man what are we talking about

practice not a game not a game not a

game we talking about practice yes sir

we're talking about practice and we're

talking about Alan Iverson AI not

artificial intelligence because here's

the thing social skills is the same as

any other skills but a lot of times we

look at it as like oh I just don't have

the confidence so I can't work on it bro

I didn't have the confidence most of my

life I told you I'm an I don't even like

doing this type of [ __ ] but I've learned

that it is a skill and like any other

skill it requires practice and that

doesn't mean just going out and spam

approaching 10 grills a day and

continuing to be awkward it means

deliberate practice each time you go out

and start some conversations with the

girl or go on a date afterwards think

for a moment what did I do well well you

know I I did hold good eye contact when

I went up to talk to her that was good

and what could I improve on well I do

think a minute into the convers ation I

I started to to to get too focused in my

head about what I had to say next no no

longer was I observing her like each

time you talk to a girl is a practice

opportunity it's an opportunity to grow

and to improve and to challenge yourself

and if you look at it that way you're

very quickly going to start to improve

versus if you just keep looking at it as

this chaotic part of your life that you

don't really have influence over what

you're going to stay awkward around

girls forever it's a conscious Choice

yes there's going to be emotions and

fear and awkwardness involved you have

to go through but if you treat it the

same as going to the gym and building up

that strength over time or making

YouTube videos and building up your

camera presence and your editing

abilities over time well then it's going

to start to predictably improve over

time until you're a regular OG and look

if this is something you've been

struggling with for a long time and it

feels like you're going at this alone

none of your friends are also working on

this skill and and it's just never going

to change well that is why I created

Beast Nation Beast nation is a tribe of

like-minded men who are working together

to level up in all areas of their life

not only is there a step-by-step dating

module to help you quickly master your

dating life you get weekly live calls

with myself to get my feedback on your

situation and you get access to the

Beast Nation tribe where you can quickly

find like-minded men in your city so you

can finally have that wingman to go out

with and hold you accountable you can

click the link below to learn more watch

some testimonials of real guys who are

part of Beast nation and join up now and

if you're serious about getting to that

next level then you need to watch this

video next it's about how I realized

that no one one cares about me and how

that completely changed my life and

allowed me to stop giving a [ __ ] what

other people thought about me cuz that

held me back for years click there to

watch that now and I'll talk to you in

the next video Stay beastly