Developing A Competing Interest | Episode 009 Video Game Addiction
Summary
TLDRThe video script addresses the issue of gamers feeling directionless and powerless in life, contrasting the false sense of progress in gaming with the lack of real-world achievement. It emphasizes the importance of distinguishing between desires and values, asserting that true values are what drive behavior and provide fulfillment. The speaker suggests introspective exercises to identify personal values, which can lead to automatic motivation and a change in behavior, ultimately helping gamers to develop a meaningful direction in life.
Takeaways
- ๐ฎ Gaming can give a false sense of direction and progress, which may not translate to real life satisfaction.
- ๐ The feeling of being directionless is a common struggle among gamers, leading to a sense of powerlessness in life.
- ๐ก To develop a real direction in life, it's important to distinguish between desires and meaningful interests based on personal values.
- ๐ Many gamers value performance in games, which can drive behavior but may not necessarily lead to overall life fulfillment.
- ๐ค Gamers often lack introspection and the ability to reflect on their thought processes due to the immediate feedback provided by games.
- ๐ Writing down experiences of fulfillment can help clarify personal values and is a recommended exercise for self-reflection.
- ๐ Values are what truly motivate behavior and provide a sense of fulfillment, unlike mere desires which are more ephemeral.
- ๐ญ The process of identifying values often requires externalizing thoughts onto paper to gain a clearer perspective on what truly matters.
- ๐ Once values are clarified, motivation tends to arise naturally, propelling individuals towards meaningful action.
- ๐ The script emphasizes the importance of not relying solely on thought, but taking action to write down and reflect on personal values.
- ๐งโโ๏ธ The concept of Dharma, or duty, is hinted at as a potential topic for further exploration in the next part of the discussion.
Q & A
What is the main issue that gamers feel according to the transcript?
-The main issue that gamers feel is a sense of powerlessness and directionlessness, where they struggle to find meaning and progress in their lives outside of gaming.
How does gaming provide a false sense of direction?
-Gaming provides a false sense of direction through the structured progression of levels, character upgrades, and game achievements, which gives the illusion of advancement but lacks real-life impact.
What is the difference between desires and values as discussed in the transcript?
-Desires are what one wants, like material possessions or experiences, and they may not drive behavior. Values, on the other hand, are what one cares deeply about and feels fulfilled by, which can motivate and drive behavior.
Why do gamers play to the point of exhaustion before going to bed?
-Gamers play to the point of exhaustion to avoid the terrifying feeling of realizing they haven't made real progress in life, as the sense of progress from gaming doesn't translate to real-life accomplishments.
What is a competing interest and how does it relate to values?
-A competing interest is an activity or goal that is driven by one's values and provides a sense of fulfillment. It competes with gaming for attention and time, offering a more meaningful direction in life.
What exercise is suggested in the transcript to help clarify one's values?
-The exercise suggested is to write down in 500 words about a time when one felt fulfilled, which helps in reflecting on what truly matters and brings about a sense of fulfillment.
Why is it important to write down one's thoughts on fulfillment instead of just thinking about it?
-Writing down thoughts provides an external source of reflection, allowing for a more objective look at one's strategies and thought processes, which gamers often lack due to the immediate feedback provided by games.
How does the concept of Dharma mentioned at the end of the transcript relate to the discussion on values?
-Dharma, which means duty, can be seen as a form of value that drives one's actions and provides a sense of purpose, aligning with the idea that understanding and acting on one's values can lead to meaningful behavior change.
What is the role of motivation in the context of this script?
-Motivation is presented as an automatic response to understanding and clarifying one's values. It is what drives behavior and helps individuals move towards what they truly care about, as opposed to desires which may not lead to action.
How does the script suggest that gamers can get control over their gaming habits?
-The script suggests that gamers can get control over their habits by developing a competing interest, which involves understanding and acting on their values, thus providing a more meaningful direction in life.
What is the common mistake that gamers make when trying to understand their values, according to the transcript?
-The common mistake is assuming they can think through the values exercise in their head without writing it down, which the script advises against due to the gaming-shape of the brain that relies on external feedback.
Outlines
๐ฎ Finding Direction in Life Through Gaming
In this paragraph, the speaker addresses the common issue among gamers of feeling powerless and directionless. They explain that while gaming provides a false sense of progress, it doesn't translate to real-life achievements, leading to a sense of emptiness. The speaker suggests that the first step to finding a true direction in life is to differentiate between desires and meaningful interests. They emphasize the importance of identifying values that genuinely fulfill individuals, rather than just desires that are ephemeral. The speaker uses the example of competitive gamers who value performance in games, illustrating how understanding one's values can drive behavior and motivation.
๐ Clarifying Values to Motivate Action
The speaker continues by discussing the practical steps to identify personal values. They recommend writing down a detailed account of a time when one felt truly fulfilled, as a way to reflect and gain clarity on what truly matters. The speaker points out that gamers often lack the ability to reflect on their thought processes due to the immediate feedback provided by games, which can hinder self-awareness. By externalizing thoughts on paper, individuals can objectively analyze what they value and why they felt fulfilled. The speaker asserts that once values are clarified, motivation will naturally arise, driving behavior towards meaningful goals. They caution against merely thinking about values internally, as this can be less effective due to the influence of gaming on the brain.
๐ Exploring the Concept of Dharma
In this brief paragraph, the speaker teases the upcoming discussion on the concept of Dharma, which they describe as 'duty'. They suggest that this Eastern concept will be explored further in the continuation of the talk, hinting at a deeper dive into understanding one's purpose and responsibilities in life. This sets the stage for a potentially philosophical and cultural exploration of values and motivations.
Mindmap
Keywords
๐กCompeting Interest
๐กPowerless
๐กDirectionless
๐กFalse Direction
๐กDesire
๐กValues
๐กFulfillment
๐กIntrospection
๐กMotivation
๐กExternal Feedback
๐กDharma
Highlights
Gamers often feel powerless and directionless in life, which contrasts with the false sense of progression provided by video games.
The false sense of direction in gaming can lead to feelings of emptiness and fear, causing gamers to play excessively to avoid confronting these feelings.
Understanding the difference between desires and meaningful interests is crucial for developing a genuine direction in life.
Desires are ephemeral and do not motivate behavior effectively, unlike values that drive action and fulfillment.
Values are identified by reflecting on activities that make one feel fulfilled and are distinct from mere desires.
Competitive gamers often value performance in games, which can be a driving force for their behavior.
Introspection is key to uncovering values that are not immediately apparent and can lead to a more fulfilling life.
Writing down experiences of fulfillment can help clarify values and is a recommended exercise for self-reflection.
Gamers may lack the capacity for self-reflection due to the constant external feedback provided by games.
Externalizing thoughts on paper is essential for gamers to gain self-awareness and reflect on their values.
Once values are clarified, motivation arises naturally and can lead to significant life changes.
Motivation is not a matter of willpower but an automatic response to understanding one's values.
The concept of Dharma, or duty, will be explored in the continuation of the discussion, suggesting a deeper exploration of values and purpose.
Gamers are encouraged to engage in exercises that reveal their true values to counteract the numbing effect of gaming.
The speaker emphasizes the importance of writing down reflections rather than just thinking about them due to the shaping influence of games on the brain.
The process of identifying and clarifying values is presented as a practical step towards gaining control over gaming habits and finding a meaningful direction in life.
Transcripts
now we're gonna dig into a little bit of
how to find that competing interest so
one of the problems that a lot of gamers
feel is when I talk to them they feel
powerless like they feel like they can't
get control over their lives they feel
like they have things that they want to
do in life and they're just not able to
do them but the deeper thing that
affects a lot of gamers is that a lot of
y'all actually feel not just powerless
but directionless you feel like you're
not moving anywhere in life it's not
just about not being able to move it's
about not even knowing where you want to
go and feeling directionless is one of
the worst feelings that a gamer can
possibly have and one of the problems
with gaming is that gaming gives you the
sense of false direction if you think
about a video game there's a sense of
progress right you go to this world and
then you do this level and then you go
to this other world and you do this
level you level your character up you go
to the later stages of the game so
there's this there's the sense of
progress and as human beings we are
wired to want to progress in some way
the problem is that that sense of
progress that you get through the game
while it sort of scratches the itch of
progressing in a temporary way when you
go to sleep at night you feel like you
haven't really done anything and I mean
that can be one of the most terrifying
feelings in the world and that's why
gamers play to the point of exhaustion
before they go to bed so how is it that
you can start to develop a direction in
life I think the first thing that you
have to do is understand the difference
between doing something with meaning and
doing something that is a desire so what
I mean by that is if I ask a game or
like where do you want to be ten years
from now most of the answers that they
come up with are actually desires
they're not actually true interests
they're not things that they value so
I'll give you an example so if I ask
someone you know where do you want to be
in ten years they'll say like oh you
know I'd like to be a millionaire like
I'd like to have my own house you know
I'd like to be married I'd like to you
know travel internationally and go to
video game tournaments they'll say like
all this kind of stuff and that's just
those are just kind of desires they're
just like
it's just like stuff you want right you
can go down the street and you can ask
anyone like what do you want and they'll
be able to tell you all kinds of stuff
but desires don't actually really Drive
your behavior they don't motivate you
and you may think that they motivate you
but they really don't because if they
did motivate you then you'd be moving
towards those goals right so by
definition that random stuff that's kind
of ephemeral and and
out in the ether that stuff that you
want those kinds of desires are the
kinds of things that it would be nice if
I had that that's really what that
thought is it's not really a true desire
stuff that motivates you some stuff that
actually gets you out of your out of the
chair and gets your ass moving in a
direction is what I call a competing
interest and those competing interests
depend on values and so what is a value
values are something that when you move
in that direction you feel fulfilled so
the first question that I would ask
gamers is what makes you feel fulfilled
what is it that actually gives you a
sense of like wow I really did something
good today what is it that makes you
feel like you've got the biggest dick on
the planet what is that thing that
really makes you feel like man I am
awesome and the funny thing is that a
lot of gamers that I talk to what they
actually value is performance in the
game and that may not be what you want
to value but let's just be clear let's
be honest with ourselves about what you
care about a lot of the gamers that I
work with are actually competitive
gamers and they want to be like on the
top 100 of the ladder and they want to
like compete and they want to be the
best in the game and that's actually
what they care about that's what they
value which is why they practice so hard
day after day after day you can see how
when you really understand that the
value is to be the best person in the
game it drives behavior on its own and
you may say well then I'm because
like if I value playing video games then
how can I move forward in life doesn't
that just mean I'm gonna play a bunch of
video games yes that's kind of true but
the good news is that gamers have a lot
of people actually have a lot of values
that they're not even aware of and this
is where introspection comes into play
this is where as a
or what you can actually sit down and do
is a series of exercises to figure out
and clarify what your values are and
when you start to recognize your values
when you start to say like oh actually
this is something that I care about I
want to do this this is something that's
really important to me the motivation
will follow that clarification of values
the motivation actually kind of comes
automatically for example let's say that
here in this this Hall you know like
someone walks in with a gun and then
starts like shooting at people like
that's awful and that's been happening
in a lot of schools which is absolutely
crazy if you look at what those people
do they actually value their lives right
like like the students in schools that
get shot up value their lives which is
why they try to preserve them it's
something that's really important to
them it sounds kind of silly and stupid
but if you think about it what motivates
that person what motivates someone to
escape death is just a value for life
and that's a really powerful motivator
and it's one of the most powerful
motivators you can have the neat thing
is that if you can figure out values
outside of just a preservation of life
which most biological beings have you
can also find motivation that'll make
you move forward in life so the way that
I'd say so let's talk a little bit
practically how do you figure out what
your values are so I'd start by you know
grab a piece of paper and write down
like in one-page like write 500 words
about a time where you felt fulfilled
actually sit down and do the exercise
and this is really important because
gamers tend to think a lot but they
actually don't aren't good at reflecting
or criticizing their own thought process
and if you think about this this is a
little bit tangential but when you play
a game a gamer comes up with an idea of
what's gonna work and then they go into
the game and then they get told based on
the game whether the idea works or not
right like let's say I have a strategy
to take down a boss and when I go in
with in with that strategy the reason I
know the strategy works or doesn't work
is because the game actually tells me I
don't have to reflect on my thought
process or my strategy myself because
the game is gonna provide me with the
feedback
and since gamers spend so much time
coming up with strategies but have an
external source of feedback on what they
come up with they don't develop the
capacity to reflect and objectively look
at their strategies even though you guys
think you're able to do that you're
actually not very good at that so what
you need to do is use that get some
external source of feedback by putting
it on a piece of paper so write down in
500 words on one piece of paper what
makes you feel fulfilled and when you do
that then you'll have the ability it'll
be on a piece of paper it'll be external
and then you can look at it you can read
it and then you can reflect on it and
when you do that try to figure out okay
what is what is it that I really care
about that I've written here why did I
feel fulfilled what is it about me that
big why does this make me feel fulfilled
and then you'll start to get a
clarification of what your values are
and once you start clarifying what your
values are the neat thing is that the
motivation will come kind of on its own
and we've talked a little bit about
motivation and how motivation is not
willpower right like when I when I
really need to take a I'm motivated
to find a bathroom that has nothing to
do with willpower it's not like I'm
forcing myself to use the bathroom in
fact you need willpower to restrain
motivation because to not in my
pants right now I actually need to use
my willpower to like you know keep my
anus puckered tight and not myself
and so that requires energy but the
motivation to find a bathroom is
automatic and is gonna drive my behavior
so when you find your values when you
clarify what your values are you guys
will be amazed the motivation is gonna
come on its own and then your life will
start to change but don't fall into the
trap that most gamers fall into which is
that I don't need to do this exercise I
can just think through it in my head I'm
telling you guys you can't do that you
actually need to externalize upon a
piece of paper because of the way that
games shape your brain because games are
the ones that give you external sources
of feedback on your thought process so
you really have to actually sit down and
write it out on a piece of paper you'll
be surprised at what actually comes out
because the first five sentences you can
think of in your head
but the rest of the stuff I guarantee
you is gonna be something that you have
not thought about before so just to kind
of recap the way that you really get
control of your gaming is through
developing a competing interest and the
way that you really figure out what a
competing interest is is to clarify your
values and you have to understand that
your values are very different from your
desires stuff that you just want like
yeah I like I want to be President to
the United States or I want to own 50%
of Amazon or 50% of Google like yeah
sure you want that but that's not that's
not actually gonna cause you to change
your behavior whereas understanding what
your values are is gonna evoke emotion I
mean a motivation and that motivation is
going to come automatically and your
behavior will start to change on its own
but you've got to clarify your values
first we're gonna take a short break but
when we come back I'm gonna tell you
guys a little bit about something from
kind of the eastern side and we'll talk
a little bit about this word called
Dharma which means duty
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