Wisdom for when you LIKE someone: 3 Tips - Whiteboard Series

Summary

This video offers Christian advice on navigating romantic feelings. It emphasizes discerning between the idea of someone and their reality, aligning paths with shared values, and growing in selfless love. Using biblical examples like Samson and Delilah, it advises evaluating if someone is truly good for you and encourages maintaining friendships with genuine care, regardless of romantic outcomes. It concludes with practical tips and a reminder of Jesus' love.

Takeaways

• 💭 Recognize the difference between loving the idea of someone and the person themselves. Just because you feel a strong attraction doesn't mean the relationship is right for you.
• 📜 Use biblical examples, like Samson and Delilah, to understand the consequences of being misled by love and not discerning the true character of a person.
• 🔍 Assess whether the person you're interested in aligns with your life path and spiritual growth. Are they supportive of your faith and goals?
• 👣 Consider the direction of your life and whether the person you like would encourage and support your walk with God or potentially hinder it.
• 🤔 Ask yourself hard questions about your motivations for being with someone. Is it because of genuine love and compatibility, or due to superficial reasons?
• 🌟 Look for overlapping paths with the person you admire. Are your life goals and values in harmony, and would they contribute positively to your journey?
• 💔 Accept that you may not end up with the person you admire, and see this as an opportunity for spiritual growth and learning about love.
• 👫 Cultivate a genuine friendship with the person you like, focusing on their well-being and representing Christ in your interactions, regardless of the relationship's outcome.
• 🌱 Grow in love by being selfless and serving others, using your feelings for someone as a chance to develop deeper compassion and understanding.
• 🙏 Seek advice from those with experience in love and relationships, such as married couples, to gain wisdom and guidance.
• ❤️ Remember that no matter the complexities of love, Jesus loves you unconditionally and should be the foundation of all your relationships.

Q & A

What is the main theme of the video script?

The main theme of the video script is providing guidance for Christians on how to handle feelings of love and attraction towards someone, with a focus on discerning the person's character and compatibility with their spiritual journey.

What biblical story is used to illustrate the importance of discerning the reality of a person's character?

The story of Samson and Delilah from Judges 16:4-6 is used to illustrate the importance of discerning the reality of a person's character and not being misled by love or feelings.

Why did the Lords of the Philistines approach Delilah in the story?

The Lords of the Philistines approached Delilah to entice Samson and find out the secret of his great strength, with the intention to overpower and bind him, offering her 1100 pieces of silver as a reward.

What lesson can be learned from Samson's relationship with Delilah?

The lesson from Samson's relationship with Delilah is that love or feelings of love can sometimes lead us to be rash and make poor decisions, especially when it comes to trusting someone who may not have our best interests at heart.

What does the video suggest about the difference between loving the idea of someone and loving the person themselves?

The video suggests that it's important to distinguish between loving the idea of someone, which may be based on superficial qualities or fantasies, and truly loving the person for who they are, including their character and actions.

What does the term 'overlapping paths' refer to in the context of the video script?

The term 'overlapping paths' refers to the idea of evaluating whether the person you are attracted to shares similar life goals, values, and spiritual direction as you, which is important for a healthy and supportive relationship.

How does the Book of Amos relate to the concept of walking together in agreement?

In the Book of Amos, God's desire to walk with Israel in a direction of blessing and protection is contrasted with Israel's disobedience and rebellion, leading to the concept that walking together in agreement is essential for a harmonious and purposeful relationship.

What questions should one ask themselves when considering the compatibility of a potential partner?

One should ask themselves about their own life goals, passions, and ambitions, and then consider whether the potential partner would support and encourage these aspirations, or if they might be a hindrance.

What advice does the video give regarding the approach to friendship with someone you admire?

The video advises to be a genuine friend to the person you admire, not just with the intention of pursuing a romantic relationship, but because they are a person with a soul who may need support and friendship.

What biblical passage is cited to encourage believers to look out for others' interests?

Philippians chapter 2, verses 3 to 4, which encourages believers to act without selfish ambition or conceit, and to consider others' interests as more significant than their own.

What is the final piece of advice given in the video regarding love and relationships?

The final piece of advice is to grow in love, be selfless, and serve the person you admire in love, regardless of whether the relationship develops into something more, and to seek advice from those with experience in marriage.

Outlines

00:00

💘 Discerning Love: Reality vs. Idea

This paragraph discusses the importance of distinguishing between the idealized image of a loved one and their true nature. It uses the biblical story of Samson and Delilah to illustrate how love can cloud judgment and lead to negative outcomes. The key takeaway is that Christians should be cautious and discerning in their romantic feelings, ensuring that they are not misled by their emotions but rather consider the true character and intentions of the person they are attracted to.

05:03

🛤️ Finding Common Paths in Love and Faith

The second paragraph emphasizes the significance of shared life paths and values in a relationship, especially from a Christian perspective. It references Amos 3:1-3 to highlight the importance of agreement and unity in direction. The summary points out the need to evaluate whether a potential partner aligns with one's spiritual journey and life goals. It suggests asking oneself if the person would support and encourage one's walk with God, and whether their lifestyle and ambitions are compatible with one's own.

🌱 Growing in Love Through Selfless Friendship

This paragraph offers advice on how to approach unrequited feelings or admiration by focusing on building a genuine friendship. It draws from Philippians 2:3-4, encouraging believers to look beyond their own interests and to practice humility and care for others. The summary explains that even if a romantic relationship does not develop, the experience can be valuable for personal growth in love and service. It advises treating the admired person with the love and respect that Jesus would, regardless of the relationship's outcome.

Keywords

💡Love

Love in the context of the video refers to the strong affection and attachment one feels towards another person. It is central to the theme as the video discusses how Christians should navigate their feelings of love for someone. The script uses the story of Samson and Delilah to illustrate the potential dangers of being misled by love, emphasizing the need to discern the true nature of the person one loves.

💡Christian

A Christian, as mentioned in the script, is a follower of Jesus Christ and his teachings. The video is tailored to a Christian audience, providing guidance on how to approach romantic feelings within the framework of Christian values and principles. It suggests that Christians should be cautious and consider their faith when evaluating their romantic interests.

💡Delilah

Delilah is a character from the biblical story in Judges 16, used in the script as an example of someone who was not genuinely in love with Samson but instead exploited his affection for her own gain. This character serves as a cautionary tale about the potential pitfalls of love when one person's intentions are not pure.

💡Discernment

Discernment is the process of carefully considering and making judgments about something. In the video, discernment is advised when evaluating one's feelings for another person. It is about distinguishing between the idealized image of a person and their true character, as illustrated by the contrast between Samson's perception of Delilah and her actual intentions.

💡Reality

Reality, in this context, refers to the true state of affairs or the actual character of a person, as opposed to an idealized or imagined version. The video encourages viewers to assess their romantic interests based on reality rather than on infatuation or superficial qualities.

💡Overlapping Paths

Overlapping paths is a concept that suggests compatibility in life direction and values. The script uses this term to advise viewers to consider whether their romantic interests share similar life goals and spiritual paths, which is crucial for a harmonious Christian relationship.

💡Selfish Ambition

Selfish ambition is a term from Philippians 2:3, used in the script to describe a motivation driven by personal gain rather than the welfare of others. The video contrasts this with the Christian value of humility and considering the interests of others, particularly in the context of romantic relationships.

💡Humility

Humility is the quality of being modest and not overly proud or self-centered. The script encourages Christians to practice humility in their relationships, valuing others' needs and interests above their own, which aligns with the teachings of Philippians 2:3-4.

💡Service

Service, in the context of the video, means the act of helping or doing work for others without expecting anything in return. It is presented as a way to express love and care for someone, whether or not a romantic relationship develops, reflecting the teachings of Jesus to love one's neighbor.

💡Friendship

Friendship is a close and supportive relationship that the video suggests should be the foundation for any romantic relationship. It emphasizes the importance of being a genuine friend to someone you admire, regardless of whether that friendship leads to a romantic partnership.

💡Marriage

Marriage is a legally or formally recognized union of two people. The script discusses marriage in the context of Christian relationships, suggesting that one should consider whether a potential partner would be supportive and encouraging of their faith and life goals, which are important factors for a successful marriage.

Highlights

The feeling of love can consume your mind and affect your daily thoughts.

Christians should discern whether their feelings are based on reality or just an idealized version of the person.

The story of Samson and Delilah illustrates the dangers of falling for someone who doesn't have your best interests at heart.

Love can sometimes cause rash decisions and blind us to a person's true character.

It's important to ask yourself if you like someone for who they are or for the idea of being with them.

The Book of Amos emphasizes the importance of walking in agreement with God's will.

Israel's disobedience and rebellion led to punishment, highlighting the need for alignment with God's path.

Consider whether the person you like shares your life goals and values.

Ask yourself if the person would support your walk with God and encourage your spiritual growth.

Think about whether the person would be a hindrance or a help in your life's journey.

Philippians 2:3-4 encourages believers to look out for others' interests and not just their own.

You may not end up with the person you admire, but God can use them to teach you valuable lessons.

Being a friend to someone you admire is important, regardless of whether it turns into a romantic relationship.

Treat the person you admire as you would want to be treated, in a loving and selfless manner.

Love can be messy, and seeking advice from those with experience in marriage can be beneficial.

As you navigate love and romance, remember that Jesus loves you unconditionally.

Transcripts

[Music]

so I'm sure we've all had that special

someone that makes our heart smile it's

something about the way they look or

smile or laugh and the thought of them

consumes our minds they're the first

thought when we wake up and the last

thought when we fall asleep

so if you're a Christian what are you

supposed to do when you feel this way

you've come to the right place whether

you have a certain someone in mind have

Ambitions for marriage or can provide

some insight for a friend who's in love

here's some tips on what you should do

if you like someone tip number one

discern idea versus reality Judges

chapter 16 Verses 4 to 6. afterward it

happens that Samson loved a woman in the

valley of sorek whose name was Delilah

and the Lords of the Philistines came up

to her and said to her entice him and

find out where his great strength lies

and by what means we may overpower him

that we may bind him to afflict him and

every one of us will give you 1100

pieces of silver so Delilah said to

Samson please tell me where your great

strength belies and with what you may be

bound to afflict you now Samson was a

judge of Israel who fell madly in love

with the woman named Delilah but despite

her beautiful appearance she was someone

who never loved Samson and was the cause

of his downfall here's the lesson just

because you're in love with someone

doesn't automatically mean they're good

for you love or feelings of love rather

can cause us to be rash and downright

dumb sometimes we can be like Samson

where we end up falling for someone who

doesn't have our best interest in mind

so if we come to a place where our heart

longs for someone we need to stop and we

need to look at them and see if we love

the idea of them rather than who they

actually are

Samson loved the idea of Delilah he

thought she was someone safe someone he

could trust with his secrets and

vulnerabilities but the reality was that

she was the enemy who would attack if

the opportunity presented itself

we as followers of God cannot be misled

by our feelings we have to be honest

with ourselves and ask do I like this

person because I like the idea of being

with someone because I like being liked

or because I'm lonely or because they

make me feel good or maybe just because

they look good

or do I like them for who they actually

are right now

tip number two look for overlapping

paths Amos chapter 3 verses one to three

hear this word that the Lord has spoken

against you o children of Israel against

the whole family which I brought up from

the land of Egypt saying you only have I

known of all the families of the earth

therefore I will punish you for all your

iniquities can't you walk together

unless they're agreed

in the Book of Amos the nation of Israel

was going to be punished by God for

their Disobedience and rebellion and God

then asks

to walk together unless they're agreed

what God was saying is that God wanted

to lead Israel in a certain direction he

wanted to bless them to protect them and

teach them but Israel instead of obeying

God gave themselves over to sexual

immorality they attacked the innocent

compromised their morals and altogether

rejected God God wanted a relationship

with his people but saw that Israel was

going in a different direction all this

to say consider the person you like are

they going down a path that you want to

go down if you're a Christian would they

be someone who would encourage your walk

with God would they pray for you would

they give you Grace despite your

failures some other questions to throw

in your mind

what do you want in life what career do

you want to pursue what are your

passions and what do you want to

accomplish in other words where are you

going now hold that thought and think

would this person support that would

they encourage you and help you

or

would they be a hindrance who takes from

you time finances and your energy all

this to say if you like someone you

should know where you're going in life

and you need to discern if this person

would help and protect you

or if they would hinder or possibly harm

you

tip number three grow in love

Philippians chapter 2 verses 3 to 4 do

nothing from selfish ambition or conceit

but in humility count others more

significant than yourselves Let each of

you look not only to his own interests

but also to the interests of others

In this passage Paul encourages

Believers not to act selfishly but to

look out for other people's interests

and cares

now you need to come to terms with the

fact that you may not end up with the

person that you admire and that's okay

because God will use the people you love

to teach you lessons that will help

prepare you for your future but so long

as this person is in your life

you should try to be their friend

don't be their friend only to have a

shot at being their boyfriend or

girlfriend be their friend because they

have a soul

because they have weaknesses and

insecurities that maybe you could help

and because God may want you to

represent him well in your friendship

with them maybe your friendship will

develop into something more

and maybe not regardless if you like

someone use this as an opportunity to

grow in your love for people because

this person will either be someone that

you marry or be someone that God will

use to teach you what love is and should

be

so if you find yourself admiring this

special someone consider these three

tips

tip number one discern idea versus

reality just because they make your

heart flutter doesn't mean they're good

for you you may be falling for the idea

of them rather than who they actually

are

tip number two look for overlapping

paths ask yourself the hard questions

where do you want to go in life and

would this person help or hinder you and

tip number three grow in love be their

friend and treat them the way Jesus

would want you to regardless if it ends

up in a relationship don't live

selfishly but selflessly and see if you

could serve them in love love can be

messy sometimes so I'd recommend getting

advice from people who've been married a

while in the meantime we hope this helps

and as you figure out the world of love

and romance never forget

Jesus loves you

[Music]