True Friendship vs. Toxic Friendship

Summary

In this video, Taylor Tripode discusses the heart of friendship, focusing on the importance of vulnerability. She explores Aristotle's three types of friendship and emphasizes the value of true friendship that sees flaws but supports growth. Taylor also references scripture to highlight the call to love and serve one another, cautioning against toxic relationships. She encourages viewers to surround themselves with people who inspire holiness.

Takeaways

• 🎬 The movie 'Mean Girls' is used as a backdrop to discuss the nature of friendships, highlighting the negative aspects of toxic relationships.
• 🌍 Katie, a character in the movie, moves from Africa to a new school and experiences the betrayal of her friends who exploit her vulnerabilities.
• 🔥 The 'burn book' in the movie symbolizes the destructive power of secrets and the harm they can cause when exposed.
• 🧩 The concept of friendship is broken down into three types by Aristotle: utility, pleasure, and true friendship, with the latter being the most profound and rare.
• 💔 Toxic friendships are compared to the biblical story of Adam and Eve, where sin disrupts the initial perfect vulnerability and leads to hiding and shame.
• 🌟 True friendship is described as one where you can be your authentic self, with flaws exposed, yet still cherished and supported by the friend.
• 📜 Scripture from Galatians 6 is used to emphasize the importance of love and service in relationships, warning against using freedom as an opportunity for selfishness.
• 💔 C.S. Lewis is quoted to illustrate that love inherently involves vulnerability, which can be a source of both strength and potential harm.
• 🚫 The speaker advises against tolerating toxic relationships, emphasizing the need for boundaries and the importance of mutual respect and support.
• 🙏 The video encourages viewers to seek out friendships that promote holiness and personal growth, suggesting involvement in church and community events as a way to find such relationships.

Q & A

What is the main theme of the video script presented by Taylor Tripode from Ascension Presents?

The main theme of the video script is the heart of friendship, focusing on the concept of vulnerability within relationships and the different types of friendships as described by Aristotle.

What are the three types of friendships that Aristotle recognizes according to the script?

Aristotle recognizes three types of friendships: friendship of utility, friendship of pleasure, and true friendship.

What is the lowest type of friendship according to Aristotle, as mentioned in the script?

The lowest type of friendship according to Aristotle is the friendship of utility, which is based on mutual benefits and circumstances.

What is the difference between a friendship of pleasure and a true friendship as per the script?

A friendship of pleasure is about enjoying someone's company and having a good time together, while a true friendship involves being able to be oneself, being seen with all flaws, and having someone who stays by your side and encourages you to be the best version of yourself.

How does the script relate the concept of vulnerability to the story of Adam and Eve in Genesis?

The script relates vulnerability to the story of Adam and Eve by highlighting their initial state of being naked without shame, representing perfect vulnerability, and how sin introduced a change, leading them to cover themselves and hide from God.

What verse from the Scripture does Taylor Tripode mention in the script, and what is its significance to the topic of friendship?

Taylor Tripode mentions Galatians 6, which emphasizes the importance of freedom, love, and serving one another, and warns against being consumed by toxic relationships.

According to the script, what does C.S. Lewis say about love and vulnerability?

C.S. Lewis is quoted in the script as saying, 'To love at all is to be vulnerable,' implying that vulnerability is an inherent part of loving relationships.

What advice does the script offer for those who may be in a toxic relationship?

The script advises that one is not called to be in toxic relationships and should seek good friends who encourage holiness and the best in each other.

What does the script suggest as a way to find good Catholic friends?

The script suggests attending parish events, bible studies, and other gatherings where one can meet Catholic people who can become good friends.

How does the script conclude its message about friendships?

The script concludes by encouraging viewers to surround themselves with people who will call them to be saints, as everyone is called to be holy, and to find friends who challenge and remind them of their identity and worth.

What additional resource is recommended in the script for those interested in learning more about setting boundaries in relationships?

The script recommends a video by Father Mike Schmitz on boundaries for those who want to learn more about this topic.

Outlines

00:00

🎥 Introduction to 'Mean Girls' and Friendship Dynamics

Taylor Tripode introduces herself and the video series 'Ascension Presents.' She briefly summarizes the movie 'Mean Girls,' focusing on the main character, Katie, who experiences toxic friendships that exploit her vulnerabilities. The video will explore the essence of true friendship, emphasizing vulnerability, and referencing Aristotle's three types of friendship: utility, pleasure, and true friendship. Taylor discusses how true friends see and accept each other's flaws, encouraging each other to become the best versions of themselves.

05:02

📜 Biblical Perspective on Vulnerability and Friendship

Taylor delves into the biblical foundation of friendship, starting with the story of Adam and Eve. She explains how their initial perfect vulnerability was marred by sin, leading to a loss of openness with each other and with God. She connects this to how toxic relationships cause individuals to turn inward and isolate themselves. Taylor highlights Galatians 6, which calls for love and service to one another, and quotes C.S. Lewis on the necessity of vulnerability in love. She emphasizes the importance of recognizing and fostering the good in each other while avoiding toxic relationships.

🙏 Finding and Nurturing Holy Friendships

Taylor encourages viewers to seek out and surround themselves with good, holy friends who challenge and inspire them toward sainthood. She suggests participating in parish events, Bible studies, and other activities where one can meet like-minded Catholic individuals. Taylor concludes by inviting viewers to share feedback and topic suggestions in the comments, expressing gratitude for their viewership, and wishing them a beautiful day.

Keywords

💡Friendship

Friendship is a bond between individuals that involves mutual affection, support, and trust. In the video, Taylor Tripode discusses the heart of friendship, emphasizing the importance of vulnerability in building deep and meaningful relationships. The concept is tied to the video's theme by illustrating how true friendships are not just about utility or pleasure but about being able to be oneself and being called to be the best version of oneself.

💡Vulnerability

Vulnerability refers to the willingness to expose oneself to the possibility of being hurt or rejected. In the context of the video, vulnerability is highlighted as the core of true friendship. It is the state where one can be open and honest about their flaws and strengths, allowing for deeper connections. The video uses the example of the movie 'Mean Girls' to contrast the toxic use of vulnerability against the positive aspect of being vulnerable in a supportive friendship.

💡Mean Girls

'Mean Girls' is a movie mentioned in the video script, used as an example to illustrate the negative consequences of exploiting vulnerability. The movie's plot involves a group of girls who use a 'burn book' to expose others' secrets, leading to a breakdown of trust and relationships. This serves as a cautionary tale in the video, contrasting with the positive aspects of vulnerability in healthy friendships.

💡Burn Book

In the video, the 'burn book' is a tool used in the movie 'Mean Girls' to expose and ridicule the vulnerabilities of others. It symbolizes the misuse of personal information and the destructive nature of toxic relationships. The video contrasts this with the positive use of vulnerability in genuine friendships, where such openness is used to build trust and support rather than to harm.

💡Aristotle

Aristotle is referenced in the video as a philosopher who recognized three types of friendship: utility, pleasure, and true friendship. His ideas are used to differentiate between superficial relationships and those that are deep and meaningful. The video emphasizes the importance of true friendship, where one can be vulnerable and authentic, aligning with the theme of vulnerability in relationships.

💡Utility

Utility, in the context of the video, refers to the first type of friendship identified by Aristotle. It is a relationship based on mutual benefit or convenience, often temporary and lacking depth. The video contrasts this with true friendship, which involves vulnerability and a deeper emotional connection, illustrating the difference between transactional relationships and those that are built on genuine care and understanding.

💡Pleasure

Pleasure, as discussed in the video, is associated with the second type of friendship according to Aristotle. This type of friendship is based on enjoyment and fun, but it may lack the depth and vulnerability that characterize true friendship. The video emphasizes that while these relationships can be enjoyable, they do not fulfill the same role as true friendships that allow for vulnerability and personal growth.

💡Toxic Relationships

Toxic relationships are those that are harmful, exploitative, or destructive. In the video, Taylor Tripode warns against such relationships, highlighting the importance of surrounding oneself with positive influences. The video contrasts toxic relationships with healthy friendships, where vulnerability is used to support and uplift each other rather than to cause harm.

💡Scripture

Scripture, as mentioned in the video, refers to religious texts, particularly the Bible, which provides guidance on relationships and morality. The video uses a verse from Galatians to emphasize the importance of love and service in relationships, contrasting this with the negative aspects of toxic relationships. The scriptural reference serves to reinforce the video's message about the nature and purpose of true friendship.

💡C.S. Lewis

C.S. Lewis is quoted in the video to emphasize the inherent vulnerability in love. His statement that 'to love at all is to be vulnerable' is used to illustrate the courage and openness required in true friendship. The video connects this idea with the concept of vulnerability, showing how being open to love and friendship involves a willingness to be vulnerable and to accept others in the same way.

💡Holiness

Holiness, in the context of the video, refers to the state of being morally and spiritually perfect, or striving towards perfection. The video encourages viewers to seek friendships that inspire and support them in their pursuit of holiness. This concept is tied to the idea of true friendship, where friends challenge and encourage each other to be the best versions of themselves, aligning with the video's theme of vulnerability and growth.

Highlights

Taylor Tripode introduces herself and the topic of the video on Ascension Presents.

Taylor discusses the movie 'Mean Girls,' highlighting the plot and the concept of the 'burn book.'

She draws a parallel between the movie's portrayal of toxic friendships and real-life experiences of vulnerability and betrayal.

Taylor emphasizes the importance of vulnerability in friendships.

She explains Aristotle's three types of friendships: utility, pleasure, and true friendship.

True friendship is described as a relationship where both individuals can be their true selves and support each other's growth.

Taylor references the creation story in Genesis, noting that God said it was not good for man to be alone, emphasizing the need for companionship.

She discusses how sin introduced shame and hiding, damaging vulnerability and relationships.

Taylor shares a verse from Galatians 6 about using freedom to serve one another through love.

C.S. Lewis is quoted saying, 'To love at all is to be vulnerable.'

The video stresses the importance of seeing and calling out the good in each other.

Taylor warns against toxic relationships and emphasizes the importance of healthy, reciprocal friendships.

She advises viewers to find friends who challenge them to be better and to seek out community in places like parishes and Bible studies.

The video encourages viewers to engage with the content by commenting with feedback and suggestions for future topics.

Taylor concludes with a positive message, encouraging viewers to surround themselves with holy, supportive friends and to participate in community events.

Transcripts

because a friend's friend forever

if the lord's the lord of them

do you guys know that one no okay

hi my name is taylor tripode and this is

ascension presents

mean girls let me just tell you a little

bit about this movie

so there's this girl in the movie katie

who comes to this new scroll

school from africa and she's trying to

be herself

and she finds these horrible girlfriends

that take all of the most vulnerable

secrets of everyone in the school and

they put them

in this burn book and by the end of the

movie

every one of those secrets comes out and

everyone is just

so upset at each other they're like

you're toxic you're the worst person

feeling like oh man i've had some of

those friendships and we've all been in

places where

we've been vulnerable and people have

taken advantage of us but we've also

been in positions where we've had

amazing friendships that probably have

lasted years

and i think that what i want to talk

about today is the heart of friendship

which is vulnerability i think that the

most beautiful part of a friendship is

that it teaches us

how to open our hearts to be intimate

and to be vulnerable and i love how

aristotle

he recognizes that there's three types

of friendship the lowest type of

friendship

is really just friendship of utility

which basically

just ends up being a friendship of

circumstance so like it just makes sense

at that time for both of your benefits

to be friends

then you look at a friendship of

pleasure friendship of pleasure is just

like someone that you enjoy spending

time

with they're a good time and a good hang

but then you've got

that true friendship that he talks about

which is probably one of the

the rarest forms but the most beautiful

when you find it

and he talks about how a true friend is

someone that you can really be yourself

with

someone that sees all of the flaws in

you but chooses

to stay by your side to get to know you

but to also call you on to be the best

version of yourself

so we look at the beginning of scripture

and we see in genesis how god

does not want us to be alone and he

creates adam by himself and he says it's

not good for man to be alone i'm going

to create someone for him and so he

creates eve and there's this beautiful

perfect vulnerability without shame you

know they're naked without shame

and then we see how something toxic

enters the scene you know sin

enters the world enters that

relationship

and then that dynamic changes so in the

adam and eve's vulnerability

they decided to cover themselves from

each other

but also you look how they hide from god

himself because they're afraid to be

vulnerable in general and a lot of times

in toxic relationships when we're

turning inward

you know we separate ourselves from each

other and from community but also from

god

there's this beautiful verse from

scripture that i would love to read to

you guys and i think it's perfect for

this topic

it's from galatians 6 it says for you

were called to freedom

brethren only do not use your freedom as

an opportunity for the flesh

but through love be servants of one

another for the whole law is fulfilled

in one word

you should love your neighbor as

yourself it's just so beautiful to see

how

we were called to this love and i think

it's c.s lewis that says to love at all

is to be vulnerable

like in this vulnerability we have an

opportunity to

serve one another to see yes the flaws

but also to see the good

in each other and to call that good out

in another person to say like i see the

good in you i see your flaws

but i want you to become the person that

you were created to be

but then it's so interesting that this

verse continues on and it says

but if you bite and devour one another

take heed that you are not consumed by

one another

so we also were not called to be in

these toxic relationships and to exist

in that place of despair and those

places of of vulnerability where people

take advantage of us and and use that

against us so if you are in a toxic

relationship

any type of relationship romantic

relationship

friendship you are not called to be

friends with everyone

you don't have to give what you don't

have um you should be

receiving and giving just as much as the

other person

in that relationship we were not made to

be in friendships that

are toxic to us like the lord wants to

us to find

good friends that call us on to holiness

that call the best

out in each of us if you'd like to hear

more about this topic i know father mike

schmitz has an amazing

video on boundaries that could just be

helpful for anybody who's watching this

that would like to learn more

but overall just to summarize everything

go

and surround yourself with people that

will call you on to be a saint

because we're all called to be holy and

the lord wants to

give you those people in your life that

are going to challenge you

that are going to call you on and are

going to remind you of your identity and

your worth

and so go to your you know parish and

and find different events that are

coming up that

have amazing good catholic holy people

that were going to be there

go to a bible study go to places that

you can find

catholic people that would be that would

make really good friends and i'm sure

that down the line your future self will

thank you just make sure you comment

below with any

feedback any suggestions for future

topics and i would love to hear from you

guys

thank you so much for watching this and

from all of us at ascension presents my

name is taylor

have a beautiful day

you