How to increase your happiness

Summary

In this animated TED Talk, Brother David Steindl-Rast explores the profound connection between happiness and gratefulness. He posits that happiness is not a result of what we have, but rather a state achieved through gratitude for what we receive. He introduces a simple method—Stop, Look, and Go—to cultivate gratefulness in daily life, emphasizing the importance of being present and appreciative of every moment as a gift. This practice, he suggests, can transform our world by reducing fear and violence, fostering a sense of abundance, and encouraging respect and enjoyment of life's diversity.

Takeaways

• 😄 Gratefulness is a key to happiness, not the other way around. People can be grateful and happy even in the face of misfortune.
• 🎁 Gratefulness arises when we recognize something valuable as a gift that is genuinely given to us.
• 🌟 Living gratefully is a continuous practice, not just a sporadic feeling; it involves being aware of each moment as a gift.
• ⏸ The method to live gratefully includes 'Stop, Look, Go': pausing to be present, observing with all senses, and acting on opportunities.
• 👀 It's important to stop and quiet our minds to truly appreciate the richness of life and the opportunities it presents.
• 👂 Opening our senses allows us to experience the depth and variety of life's offerings, enhancing our capacity for enjoyment.
• 💖 Opening our hearts to opportunities can lead to actions that help others and contribute to collective happiness.
• 🌱 Gratefulness fosters a sense of abundance rather than scarcity, encouraging sharing and reducing fear and violence.
• 🤝 Grateful individuals appreciate and respect differences among people, which can transform societal power structures.
• 🔄 A grateful approach to life can change the world by creating networks of smaller, interconnected groups that value mutual support and respect.
• 🛑 The script emphasizes that while we can't be grateful for negative events or experiences, we can be grateful in every moment for the opportunity to respond and grow.

Q & A

What is the main theme of David Steindl-Rast's TED Talk?

The main theme of the talk is the connection between happiness and gratefulness, and how cultivating gratefulness can lead to a happier life.

Why does Brother David argue that being happy does not necessarily make one grateful?

Brother David suggests that happiness does not automatically lead to gratefulness because he has observed people with everything they need for happiness who are not happy, and vice versa, people with misfortune who are deeply happy because they are grateful.

What does Brother David mean by 'gratefulness'?

Gratefulness, according to Brother David, is the spontaneous feeling that arises when we recognize something valuable has been genuinely given to us.

How can we live a life of gratefulness according to the talk?

We can live a life of gratefulness by being aware that every moment is a gift and by practicing the method of 'Stop. Look. Go.', which involves stopping to be present, looking to appreciate the richness around us, and going to act on the opportunities given.

What is the significance of the 'Stop. Look. Go.' method in the context of the talk?

The 'Stop. Look. Go.' method is significant as it provides a practical approach to living gratefully. It encourages us to pause, observe, and engage with life's opportunities, fostering a sense of gratefulness.

How does Brother David differentiate between being grateful for everything and being grateful in every moment?

He clarifies that we cannot and should not be grateful for negative experiences like violence or loss, but we can be grateful in every moment for the opportunities it presents, even in difficult circumstances.

What is the relationship between gratefulness and fear according to the talk?

Brother David explains that if you are grateful, you are not fearful. Gratefulness fosters a sense of abundance and security, reducing the likelihood of fear-based actions.

How does Brother David link gratefulness to our actions and interactions with others?

He connects gratefulness to actions by stating that when we are grateful, we are more likely to act out of a sense of enough rather than scarcity, leading to sharing and respect for others.

What does Brother David suggest as a way to change the world through gratefulness?

He suggests that a wave of gratefulness can change the world by fostering non-violence, respect, and sharing. He envisions a networking of smaller, interconnected groups that know and interact with each other, creating a grateful world.

What is the role of opportunities in the practice of gratefulness as described in the talk?

Opportunities play a crucial role as they invite us to act when we open our hearts to them. Gratefulness is not just about receiving but also about responding to life's opportunities, including helping others and contributing positively to the world.

How does Brother David address the idea that we should not be grateful for everything?

He acknowledges that there are experiences and situations, such as violence and loss, for which gratitude is not appropriate. Instead, he emphasizes being grateful for the opportunities each moment provides, regardless of the circumstances.

Outlines

00:00

🌟 The Essence of Gratefulness and Happiness

This paragraph delves into the concept of gratefulness as a key to happiness. Brother David Steindl-Rast suggests that happiness is not solely a result of material possessions or milestones, but rather a state of being that can be achieved by being grateful for what we have. He challenges the notion that happiness leads to gratefulness, proposing instead that gratefulness can be the catalyst for happiness. The speaker emphasizes the importance of recognizing the value of what is given to us and the spontaneous rise of happiness that comes with true gratefulness. He also introduces the idea that we can cultivate a life of gratefulness by being mindful of each moment as a gift, and even in the face of adversity, we can find opportunities for growth and response.

05:02

🌈 Living Gratefully: A Path to a Fearless and Respectful World

The second paragraph expands on the practice of living gratefully and its profound impact on personal and societal levels. Brother David outlines a simple method to live gratefully: 'Stop. Look. Go.' This method encourages us to pause in our busy lives, observe the richness around us with all our senses, and then act with an open heart, embracing opportunities to help others and contribute positively to the world. The speaker argues that a grateful person is not fearful, does not resort to violence, and is more inclined to share and enjoy the diversity among people. He envisions a world transformed by networks of smaller, interconnected groups that foster a culture of gratefulness, leading to a shift from a power pyramid to a more equitable and respectful society.

Keywords

💡Gratefulness

Gratefulness is a state of being thankful and appreciative for what one has received. In the video, it is presented as a key to happiness, not just a byproduct of it. The speaker emphasizes that gratefulness arises when we recognize something valuable has been given to us, and it is this recognition that brings happiness. For example, the script mentions that 'gratefulness spontaneously rises in my heart, happiness spontaneously rises in my heart.'

💡Happiness

Happiness, in the context of the video, is not merely a state of pleasure or contentment but a deeper sense of fulfillment that comes from being grateful. The speaker challenges the common notion that happiness leads to gratefulness, instead suggesting that it is the other way around. The script illustrates this by contrasting people with everything they need for happiness with those who have misfortune but are still deeply happy due to their gratefulness.

💡Misfortune

Misfortune refers to bad luck or unfortunate events that one may face in life. The video uses the concept of misfortune to highlight the idea that happiness is not solely dependent on external circumstances. It is mentioned in the script that 'we all know people who have lots of misfortune... and they are deeply happy.' This shows that gratefulness can be a source of happiness even in the face of adversity.

💡Opportunity

Opportunity, as discussed in the video, is the potential for something positive to occur or be realized. The speaker encourages the audience to see every moment as an opportunity, a gift that contains value and potential. The script states, 'this moment, with all the opportunity that it contains,' emphasizing the importance of recognizing and utilizing the opportunities life presents.

💡Moment

The term 'moment' in the video signifies the present instant, which is portrayed as a precious and valuable gift. The speaker suggests that being aware of the impermanence and value of each moment can lead to a life of gratefulness. The script uses the phrase 'every moment is a given moment,' indicating that each moment is an opportunity for gratefulness and happiness.

💡Violence

Violence, in the context of the video, represents negative actions or behaviors that one should not be grateful for. The speaker makes a clear distinction that while we can be grateful in every moment, there are certain things, such as violence, that we do not and should not be grateful for. The script states, 'We cannot be grateful for violence, for war, for oppression, for exploitation,' to illustrate the limits of gratefulness.

💡Fear

Fear is presented in the video as an antagonist to gratefulness. The speaker explains that when one is grateful, they are not fearful, which in turn leads to non-violence and sharing. The script says, 'If you're grateful, you're not fearful,' suggesting that fear can be overcome by cultivating a grateful mindset.

💡Scarcity

Scarcity, in the video, is the feeling of not having enough and is contrasted with the concept of gratefulness. The speaker argues that a grateful person acts out of a sense of 'enough,' rather than scarcity, which can lead to sharing and respect for others. The script mentions, 'If you're grateful, you act out of a sense of enough, and not of a sense of scarcity,' to highlight the positive impact of a grateful attitude.

💡Differences

Differences refer to the unique qualities or characteristics that individuals possess. The video suggests that a grateful person not only enjoys their own life but also appreciates the differences among people. The script states, 'If you're grateful, you are enjoying the differences between people,' indicating that gratefulness fosters respect and appreciation for diversity.

💡Networking

Networking, in the context of the video, refers to the formation of interconnected groups or communities that support and interact with each other. The speaker envisions a grateful world as one where smaller groups are networked together, fostering a sense of community and mutual support. The script mentions, 'What we need is a networking of smaller groups,' to describe the structure of a world built on gratefulness.

💡Stop. Look. Go.

This phrase represents a simple method proposed in the video for living gratefully. 'Stop' implies taking a pause in life to be present, 'Look' suggests becoming aware of the richness around us, and 'Go' encourages taking action in response to the opportunities given. The script describes this method as 'a very simple method: Stop. Look. Go.,' illustrating a practical approach to cultivating gratefulness in daily life.

Highlights

The connection between happiness and gratefulness is not as straightforward as being happy leads to gratitude; it's the act of being grateful that can lead to happiness.

Grateful people can be deeply happy despite having misfortunes, showing that happiness is not solely dependent on external circumstances.

Gratefulness arises when we recognize something valuable has been genuinely given to us, leading to spontaneous happiness.

Living gratefully is achievable by being aware that every moment is a gift, with opportunities for growth and action.

We should not expect to be grateful for negative experiences like violence or loss, but we can be grateful for the opportunities they present.

The method for living gratefully involves a simple process: Stop, Look, and Go.

Stopping in life allows us to be present and recognize the opportunities around us.

Looking involves opening our senses to appreciate the richness of life's offerings.

Opening our hearts to opportunities can lead to actions that help others and contribute to collective happiness.

Gratitude can transform our actions from fear-based to abundance-based, fostering a sense of enough and willingness to share.

Gratitude encourages us to enjoy and respect the differences between people, promoting respect and understanding.

A world built on gratitude can shift from a power pyramid to a network of interconnected, supportive groups.

The importance of building 'stop signs' into our lives to ensure we pause and appreciate each moment.

The act of stopping, looking, and going can create a wave of gratefulness that has the potential to change our world.

Gratitude is a practice that can be cultivated moment by moment, leading to a more fulfilling and connected life.

The speaker emphasizes the transformative power of gratitude on an individual and societal level.

A grateful approach to life can lead to a more peaceful and harmonious existence, free from violence and fear.

Transcripts

What would make you happy?

Can you imagine a milestone, a win, or even a material possession

that would unlock this feeling?

In this animated version of David Steindl-Rast’s popular TED Talk,

Brother David explains how a simple adjustment in how you move

through the world might just change what you see,

how you feel, and how you act.

Now my topic is gratefulness.

What is the connection between happiness and gratefulness?

Many people would say, well, that’s very easy.

When you are happy, you’re grateful.

But think again.

Is it really the happy people that are grateful?

We all know quite a number of people who have everything

that it would take to be happy,

and they are not happy, because they want something else,

or they want more of the same.

And we all know people who have lots of misfortune,

misfortune that we ourselves would not want to have,

and they are deeply happy.

They radiate happiness.

You are surprised.

Why? Because they are grateful.

Now, we can ask, what really do we mean by gratefulness?

And how does it work?

Something’s given to us that’s valuable to us.

And it’s really given.

These two things have to come together.

It has to be something valuable, and it's a real gift.

And when these two things come together,

then gratefulness spontaneously rises in my heart,

happiness spontaneously rises in my heart.

That’s how gratefulness happens.

Now, the key to all this

is that we cannot only experience this once in a while.

We can be people who live gratefully.

And how can we live gratefully?

By experiencing,

by becoming aware that every moment is a given moment, as we say.

It’s a gift.

You have no way of assuring that there will be another moment given to you,

and yet, that’s the most valuable thing that can ever be given to us,

this moment, with all the opportunity that it contains.

Does that mean that we can be grateful for everything?

Certainly not.

We cannot be grateful for violence, for war, for oppression, for exploitation.

On the personal level,

we cannot be grateful for the loss of a friend, for unfaithfulness,

for bereavement.

But I didn’t say we can be grateful for everything.

I said we can be grateful in every given moment for the opportunity,

and even when we are confronted with something that is terribly difficult,

we can rise to this occasion

and respond to the opportunity that is given to us.

So how can each one of us find a method for living gratefully,

not just once in a while being grateful, but moment by moment to be grateful?

How can we do it?

It’s a very simple method: Stop. Look. Go.

That’s all.

But how often do we stop?

We rush through life; we don’t stop.

We miss the opportunity because we don’t stop.

We have to stop.

We have to get quiet.

And we have to build stop signs into our lives.

And when you stop, then the next thing is to look.

You look. You open your eyes. You open your ears. You open your nose.

You open all your senses for this wonderful richness that is given to us.

There is no end to it, and that is what life is all about,

to enjoy, to enjoy what is given to us.

And then we can also open our hearts, our hearts for the opportunities,

for the opportunities also to help others, to make others happy,

because nothing makes us more happy than when all of us are happy.

And when we open our hearts to the opportunities,

the opportunities invite us to do something,

and that is the third.

Stop, look, and then go, and really do something.

And what we can do is whatever life offers to you in that present moment.

There is a wave of gratefulness

because people are becoming aware how important this is

and how this can change our world,

because if you’re grateful, you’re not fearful.

If you're not fearful, you're not violent.

If you’re grateful, you act out of a sense of enough

and not of a sense of scarcity, and you’re willing to share.

If you're grateful, you are enjoying the differences between people

and you are respectful to everybody.

And that changes this power pyramid under which we live.

What we need is a networking of smaller groups,

smaller and smaller groups who know one another,

who interact with one another,

and that is a grateful world.