Biological Anthropologist Answers Love Questions From Twitter | Tech Support | WIRED

Summary

In this insightful video, Dr. Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist, delves into the complexities of love. She explains the instant trigger of romantic love, the evolutionary basis of pair bonding, and the brain's response to love and rejection. Fisher also addresses modern dating challenges, the distinction between romantic and platonic attraction, and the physiological underpinnings of love. Her research reveals patterns in attraction and the enduring nature of love as a fundamental human experience.

Takeaways

• 🧠 The human brain can handle about five to nine options before it becomes overwhelmed, which is relevant to decision-making in various contexts, including dating apps.
• 💘 Love at first sight is a real phenomenon, triggered by a person fitting into one's 'love map' and activating the brain's romantic love circuitry.
• 🧬 Love evolved as part of human nature, with pair bonding being a key aspect of our species, setting us apart from most mammals.
• ❤️ The brain's response to love and rejection involves the nucleus accumbens, a region also active in addictions, indicating the intense and addictive nature of love.
• ⏳ Time can heal the pain of love rejection, as the brain has survival mechanisms that have evolved over millions of years.
• 🌐 Online dating is a common way to meet partners, with about 40% of American singles having met their last first date on the internet.
• 🚫 Overwhelm from too many choices on dating apps can be avoided by limiting the number of potential partners to nine and focusing on getting to know one better.
• 🤔 Positive illusions, such as overlooking negative traits and focusing on the positive, can help in forming romantic connections.
• 🔁 Cheating can occur even when one is in love, as different brain systems govern sex drive and romantic love.
• 🧬 Attraction is influenced by a combination of cultural factors and brain systems related to dopamine, serotonin, testosterone, and estrogen, which are associated with different personality traits.
• 💊 Romantic and platonic attraction can be distinguished by the level of obsession and special meaning one assigns to the other person.
• 💖 The brain's ventral tegmental area is responsible for the focus and motivation of romantic love, linking love to basic survival instincts like hunger and thirst.
• 🤝 Soulmates are believed to exist, but one is unlikely to have more than one at a time, reflecting the singular nature of intense romantic love.
• ❤️ The association of love with the heart may have originated from the physiological responses of love, such as a pounding heart, and cultural representations in art.

Q & A

What is the optimal number of options the human brain can handle before becoming overwhelmed?

The human brain is not built to deal with more than about five to nine options. After that, the brain spaces out, making it harder to make decisions.

How does Dr. Helen Fisher explain 'love at first sight'?

Dr. Helen Fisher explains 'love at first sight' as a brain system that can be triggered instantly. It is like the fear or anger systems, and it can happen when someone fits within your 'love map' and triggers the brain circuitry for romantic love.

What is a 'love map' according to Dr. Helen Fisher?

A 'love map' is an unconscious and conscious list of what you're looking for in a partner. It influences who you are attracted to and can trigger romantic love when you meet someone who fits your love map.

What are the three brain systems associated with love and bonding, according to the script?

The three brain systems are the sex drive, romantic love, and feelings of deep attachment. These systems have evolved over millions of years to facilitate pair bonding and reproduction in humans.

What happens in the brain when someone is rejected in love?

When someone is rejected in love, their brain shows heightened activity in the nucleus accumbens, a region associated with addiction. This is why being rejected in love can feel like an addiction and is one of the worst experiences.

Why do people often fail with online dating, according to Dr. Helen Fisher?

People often fail with online dating because they binge on too many options, leading to decision paralysis. They should limit their options to five to nine people and focus on getting to know them better. Additionally, they should look for reasons to say yes instead of focusing on negative traits.

Can someone be in love and still cheat?

Yes, it is possible to be in love and still cheat. The sex drive and romantic love are different brain systems, and humans have the capability to experience romantic love with one person while being physically attracted to others.

What are the four basic brain systems associated with different personality traits?

The four basic brain systems are dopamine, serotonin, testosterone, and estrogen systems. Each system is associated with a different set of personality traits, such as novelty-seeking, traditionalism, analytical thinking, and empathy.

How can someone distinguish between romantic and platonic attraction?

Romantic attraction involves obsession and special meaning attributed to the person, whereas platonic attraction does not involve such intense focus or obsession.

What physiological changes occur when someone is in love?

When someone is in love, there is increased activity in the ventral tegmental area (VTA), which produces dopamine. This leads to focus, motivation, obsession, and craving for the loved one. Other physiological responses can include a pounding heart and weak knees.