You are more attractive than you think
Summary
TLDRIn this motivational video, the speaker, Denmo, addresses men's misconceptions about dating and attraction. He emphasizes that men are often unaware of the level of attraction they hold for women due to limited interaction. Drawing from his experience with socializing and attracting women, Denmo encourages men to take initiative, overcome past negative experiences, and actively engage with women in real-life situations to increase their chances of forming meaningful connections. He also cautions against relying on dating apps, which can distort perceptions of self-worth and attraction, and instead promotes the development of social skills and charisma through practice and real-life interactions.
Takeaways
- π Confidence is key: The speaker emphasizes that men often underestimate their attractiveness to women due to a lack of interaction.
- π Exposure matters: Before you can gauge interest, you need to be known to others, which is why visibility in social settings is crucial.
- π Take initiative: Men are traditionally the pursuers in dating, and women are the gatekeepers, so taking action is essential for men to get noticed.
- π§ Biological differences: The speaker mentions that the part of the male brain associated with sex is larger, which explains the drive to pursue women.
- π€ Rethink self-assumptions: Men often make assumptions about their desirability based on limited personal experiences, which may not reflect reality.
- ποΈββοΈ Build a foundation: Before being yourself, it's important to build a solid foundation of self-improvement in areas like fitness, hobbies, and social skills.
- πΆββοΈ Active approach: Instead of waiting for opportunities, actively seek out situations where you can meet and interact with women.
- π Don't fear rejection: Rejection is a part of the process, and it's important not to let past negative experiences define your future interactions.
- π Incremental progress: Success in dating and socializing comes with practice and learning from each interaction, not just innate talent.
- π± Limit reliance on apps: The speaker criticizes the over-reliance on dating apps, which can lead to faulty conclusions about one's attractiveness.
- π Develop charisma: Charisma, banter, flirting, and seduction are skills that can be developed through practice and experience.
Q & A
What is the main point the speaker is trying to convey about men's awareness of their attractiveness to women?
-The speaker argues that men are often unaware of their attractiveness to women because they haven't interacted with enough women to realize it, similar to how one wouldn't know they enjoy a certain video until they've watched it.
Why does the speaker believe that most men do not know if women are attracted to them?
-The speaker believes that most men do not know if women are attracted to them because they have not put themselves in situations where women can get to know them, hence the women do not know of their existence.
What is the speaker's background that makes him confident in teaching others about attracting women?
-The speaker, Denmo, has interacted with thousands of women in real life over several years through his YouTube channel, which involved pranks, pickup lines, and social experiments, giving him experience in understanding how to attract women and make friends.
What roles do men and women typically have in the dating process according to the speaker?
-According to the speaker, men are the pursuers and women are the gatekeepers in the dating process due to biological differences, with the part of the male brain that thinks about sex being 2.5 times larger than in the female brain.
Why does the speaker say that men should not compare their dating experiences with those of women?
-The speaker advises against comparing men's dating experiences with women's because women do not have to pursue men due to the biological differences that make men the pursuers, thus the dynamics and experiences are inherently different.
What is the speaker's advice for men who feel unattractive due to a lack of female attention?
-The speaker advises men not to feel unattractive due to a lack of female attention, as this is a normal feeling for men and is not a reflection of their worth or attractiveness.
What is the speaker's perspective on the role of personal experiences in shaping men's perceptions of their attractiveness to women?
-The speaker believes that personal experiences, particularly past negative ones, can significantly impact men's perceptions of their attractiveness to women, but these experiences should not be the sole basis for their self-assessment.
What is the speaker's view on the effectiveness of dating apps in helping men meet women?
-The speaker views dating apps as ineffective and potentially harmful to men's self-esteem, as they often lead to frustration and a false belief that women are not attracted to them.
What does the speaker suggest as an alternative to using dating apps for meeting women?
-The speaker suggests that men should go out, socialize, and approach women in real-life settings such as campuses, city streets, coffee shops, and parks, rather than relying on dating apps.
What is the speaker's final advice to men who are struggling with dating and meeting women?
-The speaker's final advice is for men to take action, leave their house, engage in socializing, and approach women in person, emphasizing that this will lead to success in dating and relationships.
Outlines
π Unrecognized Attraction and Social Interaction
The speaker begins by emphasizing that men are often unaware of the level of attraction they hold for women due to limited social interaction. Using the analogy of his own YouTube channel, he illustrates how people can only appreciate something once they are aware of its existence. He encourages viewers to increase their social interactions to understand their true level of attractiveness. The speaker, Denmo, shares his experience of interacting with thousands of girls through his YouTube channel, where he learned to attract and befriend girls authentically. He also discusses the different roles of men and women in dating dynamics, with men being the pursuers due to biological differences.
π Overcoming Past Negative Experiences
The second paragraph delves into the issue of men struggling with past negative experiences in dating, which can lead to a fear of rejection and avoidance of social interactions with women. Denmo provides an example from his own high school days, explaining the importance of building a foundation of self-confidence and social skills before trying to be oneself in social settings. He points out the common frustration among men who feel unattractive due to a lack of female attention and encourages them not to compare themselves to women, who naturally receive more attention due to biological factors. Denmo also emphasizes the need to take action and create opportunities for social interaction, rather than waiting for them to arise.
π‘ The Reality of Male Pursuit and Socialization
In this paragraph, Denmo addresses the common problem of men not putting themselves in situations where they can meet women, instead waiting for opportunities to come to them. He challenges the viewer to consider how many women they have met and interacted with outside of their usual routine in the past three months, suggesting that a lack of interaction is the core issue. Denmo uses the example of author Tim Ferriss to illustrate the importance of persistence and not letting initial rejections deter one from trying. He offers his course as a potential solution for those who are serious about improving their dating lives and emphasizes the need to get out and practice socializing with women.
π€ The Fallacy of Dating Apps and Real-Life Interaction
The final paragraph discusses the disillusionment that men often experience with dating apps, which can lead to feelings of inadequacy and lowered self-esteem. Denmo criticizes the reliance on dating apps and the false sense of hope they provide, pointing out that they do not accurately reflect a person's real-life attractiveness or social skills. He advises viewers to abandon these apps and instead focus on improving their social skills and charisma through real-life interactions. Denmo suggests that by spending time in public spaces and initiating conversations with women, men can learn what works and what doesn't in social settings, ultimately developing the skills necessary for successful dating.
Mindmap
Keywords
π‘Attraction
π‘Socializing
π‘Gatekeepers
π‘Pursuers
π‘Authenticity
π‘Foundation
π‘Rejection
π‘Impulse Control
π‘Dating Apps
π‘Charisma
π‘Socializer
Highlights
Men often underestimate the level of attraction women feel towards them due to limited interaction.
The speaker's videos serve as an example of how people can discover new interests and connections that were previously unknown to them.
The importance of putting oneself in front of others to allow them to make their own assessments of attraction or interest.
The speaker's experiences interacting with thousands of girls through his YouTube channel and the insights gained about attraction and social dynamics.
The biological and social differences between men and women in dating, with men as pursuers and women as gatekeepers.
The role of the male brain's larger sex-related region in driving men to pursue women, unlike women who do not need to pursue due to men's inherent pursuit.
The frustration of men as they age from lack of female pursuit and the normalcy of this experience.
The impact of media and societal expectations on men's perceptions of their attractiveness and dating success.
The necessity of overcoming past negative experiences with dating and rejection to improve current prospects.
The analogy of building a foundation before being oneself, as in developing social skills and confidence before expecting success in dating.
The misconception that women's lack of pursuit indicates disinterest, when it is actually a result of men's natural pursuit behavior.
The pressure and expectations of fitting in during high school and the impact on perceptions of self-worth and attractiveness.
The importance of taking initiative and creating opportunities for social interaction rather than waiting for them to occur.
The speaker's personal journey from inexperience to success in dating through consistent effort and learning from failures.
The comparison between persistence in dating and success in other areas of life, such as publishing a book, to emphasize the importance of not giving up after initial rejections.
The critique of dating apps as a source of negative self-perception and the encouragement to engage in real-life social interactions instead.
The concept of becoming a 'socializer' to naturally build charisma, banter, and seduction skills through real-life practice.
The call to action for men to leave the house, engage in social activities, and approach women to improve dating outcomes.
Transcripts
all right listen man women are much more
attracted to you than you are aware of
but you don't know this because you
haven't interacted with enough of them
yet take my videos for example right you
enjoy watching them and I know that now
but before you watched my videos and
subscribed to me you didn't even know
that I existed so how could you know if
you like someone if you don't even know
they exist you can't now let's take that
a step further right how could I know if
you liked me or not if you don't know I
exist I can't it's impossible all I can
do is put myself in front of you so that
you can determine that for yourself and
the same thing applies to dating girls
they don't know if they like you or not
and they don't know if you exist and you
can't know if they like you or not if
they don't know that you exist therefore
I can confidently say that you do not
know if girls like you or not you can
only make these assumptions based on
your own personal experiences don't feel
bad because this is an issue that the
majority of men face that's why these
videos are so popular because most men
don't know how to go and meet girls okay
but don't worry I'm going to take care
of you bro just like I've taken care of
thousands of other guys that have the
same situation Isaac put the photos up
on the screen look at all these all
these guys with girls friend groups you
think that you're different than all of
them you're not stop thinking you're so
different than everybody you're not if
they could do it you can do it too if I
can do it you can do it too now before
we get into that my name is denmo and
I've interacted with thousands of girls
in real life for the last several years
I didn't do this intentionally I did it
because I ran a YouTube channel doing
like pranks pickup lines social
experiments so it was basically my
full-time job to socialize with guys and
girls and by doing this I learned how to
attract girls and make friends with guys
in the most authentic way possible and
in today's video I'm going to teach you
how to do the same thing but first of
all you need to realize men and women
are different let me say it again men
and women are different and we have
different roles when it comes to dating
men are the pursuers and women are The
Gatekeepers the part of the brain that
thinks about sex is 2.5 times larger in
the male brain than the female brain and
this is why men are always the ones
pursuing women women do not have to
pursue men because men are already
coming to them that is why women do not
pursue men because they don't have to
why would you do something that you
don't have to exactly right now if the
sex part of the brain was 2.5 times
larger in the female brain than the male
brain then yes women would pursue you
the roles would be reversed and think
about that right why would you have to
do anything at all if women were already
coming to you that'd be amazing right
that's exactly my point you wouldn't
have to do anything and women would just
come to you except that's not how it is
women don't have to do anything and men
just come to them now the reason I'm
telling you this is because most men
especially guys that are single as they
start to get older like they get very
frustrated by the fact that women are
not coming to them you feel like you're
unattractive because you do not get
female attention right but this is
normal as a guy 99% of men do not have
women pursuing them but as a young guy
all you think about are the movies or
the social media celebrities that you
see where women are liking their photos
and leaving comments and you see photos
of guys with girls and you see movies
where they have like this perfect
romantic story being played out and the
girl's absolutely gorgeous and she likes
this guy because of his personality and
stuff again you see that and then you
think wow I don't have that so there
must be something wrong with me okay you
shouldn't be upset about this because
it's just not true and it's also not
personal all right so please don't be
upset that dating is easier for women
this is just out of your control and
it's a waste of time all right now that
that is out of the way let's talk about
one of the main things that makes you
think that you are not attractive to
women and this is going to be your
personal experience with women in the
past key word here is past not right now
but the past and I say this because I
work with so many clients one-on-one in
my socializer school which is a program
that I use to help busy professionals
and entrepreneurs usually guys in like
their late 20s early 30s they're making
a lot of money they run their own
business but they're just lonely they
don't have dating results that they want
they can't get the girl that they want
to I work with a lot of guys like this
in my program and so many of them come
in and they tell me the same story they
went through a brutal breakup where a
girl cheated on them or rejected them in
front of everybody or maybe they had a
bad interaction in public where they
went to ask a girl for her phone number
and she laughed and rejected them
brutally and these guys come in here you
know they put their head down they start
a business they get like a high-paying
job and they crush it but then they end
up in this weird position where they're
terrified to meet new women because in
their head they just think of their bad
experiences of the past so I have to
work with these guys to help solve that
problem and hopefully I can kind of help
you out in this video if you do have
that issue because as much as you might
feel like this is something that's only
happened to you and nobody else your
experience is probably the exact same as
every other young man's okay and let me
give you an example such as school back
in high school I was weird I tried being
myself and it just didn't really work
out okay but that's because I didn't
have a foundation build first people
always tell you to be yourself but what
they don't tell you to do is build a
foundation then be yourself I had no
Foundation I wasn't working out I didn't
have any hobbies or social skills and I
was not frequently interacting with
girls enough to understand how to
properly talk to them but once I learned
all of those things then I could be
myself think about being yourself like
painting your car a certain color first
you need four wheels and an engine that
works once you got your your wheels and
your engine then you can be yourself so
men get confused with this because women
don't have to do anything but they still
get attention from men but like I said
comparing yourself to women is not a
fair comparison all they have to do is
exist and men will pursue them and like
I said before this is because the part
of the brain that pursues sex is 2.5
times larger in men and I'm going to
keep repeating that throughout this
video until you guys understand this
because I want you to stop feeling bad
about how things are more challenging
for you than they are for women but back
to high school the majority of men do
not lose their virginity in high school
anymore and until you lose your
virginity you're going to feel like an
outlier dare I say you're going to feel
like a loser so if you're a virgin
watching this then yes you are going to
assume that girls don't like you but why
because you haven't had sex with a girl
yet it's really that simple and that
seems weird compared to all your friends
and all the stuff you see on social
media but let's take away all that what
if you were born on a military base in
Antarctica with zero girls around and
you were a virgin would that be weird no
that would be totally normal because
you're in the middle of nowhere right
it's just that because you're around so
many other young people and you have
this pressure to fit in with everybody
else that you feel weird and that's
what's happening with guys that aren't
getting dating results the truth is
until you do something you're not
entirely sure you can do it but you have
to do it anyways not knowing if you can
do it and that's what allows you to do
it here's a good example before I drove
a car I did not think I could drive I
was a 16-year-old and I was terrified of
getting on the road and potentially
crashing my parents' car right but then
I drove the car and now I've been
driving for years and I'm fine before I
had a girl attracted to me I did not
think that girls found me attracted do
you understand what I'm getting at here
like until you do something you're not
going to have 100% confirmation that you
can do it but you have to do it anyways
now I didn't lose my virginity until I
was 17 and then I went on a dry spell
for several months after that because I
kind of messed things up I was too much
of a s by the time I was 18 I started to
get more notches under my belt and then
by about 20 I was doing this all the
time but that is because I was
frequently around women therefore I had
many opportunities to put myself in
front of them as an option you see
here's the number one problem most of
you guys do not do that you do not put
yourself in situations around women
instead you wait until someone else puts
you in that situation like getting
invited to a party or getting a job
where there are lots of women around I
want you to think about the last couple
times you went out to a party you went
to a club you hung out with your friends
how many of those activities did you
plan did you set up did you go out and
do yourself I guarantee it's way less
than it should be I'm actually going to
go out on a limb here and suggest that
you don't go to parties unless you get
invited to them you don't go out to bars
or clubs unless your friends invite them
out you don't set up any opportunities
to go and meet women during the day
unless you're getting lunch with a
friend or you just happen to be in that
area anyways and then you see a woman
and that's your problem you're waiting
around for the opportunity to come to
you and that's because ever since you
were a child this is how things were
done you didn't want to go to school but
you had to and there were people there
anyways you didn't want to get a job but
you had to and there were people there
anyways and that's my point even as an
adult you still think that these things
are supposed to come to you as opposed
to you being the one to go out and get
them and that is why you are where you
are in life now if you're doing good in
life please leave me a comment down
below tell me how good you're doing but
I'm going to go out on limb and suggests
that if you're watching this video it's
because you want to solve this problem
so maybe you're not where you want to be
and that's okay all right anyways back
to my point women do not know that you
exist so if they don't know that you
exist how can they know or how can you
know with certainty that they are not
attracted to you if they don't know that
you exist it's impossible there's no way
that they can know if they are or are
not attracted to you if they don't know
that you exist that's my point and this
is actually a good thing so let's play a
game okay I want you to answer these
questions for me how many women have you
met in the last 3 months how many women
have you talked to for longer than 3
minutes in the last 3 months how many
women have you met outside of your job
or class in the last 3 months comment
Down Below guys don't worry there's no
judgment here if you are single and you
would like to get a girl and the answer
is less than 100 then that is your
problem and before you say wo 100's a
lot is 100 really a lot are you telling
me that that if you spent 2 hours on a
Saturday walking around downtown your
city you couldn't have 20 conversations
with women and if you do that five times
throughout the course of a week or a
month that's easily 100 interactions
with women you can't do that in 3 months
what are you [Β __Β ] do you not know
how to manage time and leave your house
sometimes I get really annoyed when I
make these videos because the answer is
so [Β __Β ] simple I swear to God you
guys need your handheld through [Β __Β ]
everything okay and you know what I'm
not try to get annoyed here but it's
like I'm annoyed because I used to be in
the same situation as you and I hated it
I hated having to be the guy that has to
go on YouTube and look up videos for
advice because I would much rather have
been in the real world with real people
all right so as much as it seems like
I'm getting angry at you I'm getting
angry at you because I'm getting angry
at myself so you should get angry at
yourself too and use this as motivation
because once you solve this problem you
could do [Β __Β ] anything else all right
once you solve your dating problem you
could start a business okay maybe you
could start a business before but as a
young man you have a sex drive so you're
constantly going to be thinking about
women anyways so you may as well sort
this [Β __Β ] out so that it doesn't take
away time from things that are more
important like friends Family Purpose
okay now back to my main thesis you are
not putting yourself in front of enough
women Tim Ferris one of my favorite
authors he wrote a famous book called
The 4-Hour Work week but before he
published it he was rejected by 27
different Publishers and finally one of
them agreed to publish his book but
imagine this imagine if he only
contacted 10 Publishers and then he
decided that because of those 10
Publishers rejecting him every other
publisher would reject him too and then
he just quit right there that book would
not exist and the same thing applies to
you and women just because you were
rejected by 10 women does not mean that
you will be rejected by the next 10
women and so on and so forth it actually
means nothing
it is an opportunity to understand what
you're doing wrong and what you can do
better now I've done hundreds of videos
of me approaching and attracting girls
in real life I made a course breaking
them down step by step to show you how
you can use the same systems as me to go
on multiple dates a week and get a
girlfriend in around 60 days and if
you're interested in learning more about
that and working with me specifically
you can check the link in the
description but my point is before I had
all these successful interactions I
didn't have any okay zero I went from 20
to 30 rejections to one success then two
successes then five then 10 then 20 and
eventually hundreds and thousands and
that's what I did for years and I have
all these videos in my socializer
program so that you can do the same
thing as me and you can get girls
relatively easily my point is if I had
just stopped after the first 20 or 30 I
never would have gotten to this point so
you need to think about that are you
going to be the guy that does something
20 or 30 times doesn't get the results
he wants and just stops or are you going
to continue anyways because you do not
let your past failures Define you think
about that are you going to become the
man that you need to become to get the
results that you want or are you just
going to give up and become like 90% of
other young men depressed and
chronically on the internet each day you
wake up and you make a choice and
hopefully after this video you made the
right choice and if you do need direct
help from me and you're a guy that's
making a good amount of money and you
can actually afford to work with
somebody kind of the way that you work
with a personal trainer or a therapist
or a coach if you want to learn from
somebody that's done this and can solve
your problem in literally 2 to 3 months
then you can check the link in the
description and join socializer but if
you can't afford it or you feel like you
don't need my help you already know what
to do you should be leaving your house
each day and doing it on your own all
right you don't need to watch another
video you just need to get out there and
put reps in now let's talk about one
more thing and this is called faulty
information men lack impulse control I
do myself as well I'm a horny [Β __Β ] so I
guarantee that at some point you have
tried a dating app wow I could just
download this app and I could meet hot
women in my area without leaving my
house hell yeah that's the best offer
ever it doesn't get better than that
okay every one of us has fallen for this
trap before dating apps I used to rip
dating apps in the early days when they
actually worked pretty good but they
don't work anymore and the problem with
dating apps is despite the fact they
don't work you think that they will and
you try them anyways so in the past
you've definitely used Tinder Bumble or
hinge maybe you're using one right now
and this is probably how it went you
downloaded it and get some likes and
matches in the first one to two days you
message a couple girls most don't reply
but the ones that do they usually stop
replying pretty quickly after this you
get frustrated so you increase your
range so that you could see more
profiles and swipe more then you run out
of matches and people to swipe on and
you feel awful you feel ugly you feel
unattractive you think that women don't
actually like you and you just lower
your confidence overall based on your
negative experience on this app and most
guys usually get stuck in this cycle for
weeks if not months and years and then
they delete the app and then they
redownload it in a month or two because
they're like oh I want to try again
meanwhile never leave your house never
do what actually works you just go into
the same cycle okay the problem here is
that you think the app is basically
telling you that you're ugly that girls
don't like you and because you do not
succeed on the app that you will not
succeed in real life but this is a lie
you are making judgments comparing one
thing to a completely other different
thing you're making Jud judment based on
faulty data in real life women do like
you they are attracted to you you just
have no way of knowing that because you
don't talk to them and this is why you
need to learn how to become a socializer
socializers know how to meet and talk to
girls socializers can make friends
easily socializers know how to build
friend groups Social Circles socializers
know how to make people enjoy spending
time with them do you know how to do any
of that no so you need to stop watching
YouTube videos and put yourself in
environments with women if you can't
think of any environments just walk
around your college campus if you're a
student or go downtown visit beaches
city streets coffee shops Parks go into
the City and just explore especially on
weekends not 8:00 on a Thursday night
okay do it Saturday and Sunday during
the daytime when everybody else is also
out and about walk around and start
conversations with women once you do
that about 10 times you will start to
notice a couple things hm girls are more
receptive when I approach them like this
huh girls are more interested when I'm
smiling and laughing instead of being
serious imagine that right and then you
do this another 10 times until you get
to around 50 or so approaches and by
this point you know what not to do and
now it's just a matter of what to do and
what to do is charisma but how do you
develop Charisma how do you develop
banter flirting seduction Etc well I can
help you with that on my website so
click the link if you're ready for that
but in the meantime you just got to go
out there and actually do approaches
stop watching YouTube videos and just
leave your house man delete your dating
apps delete social media spend two to
three hours per week cold approaching
women and after a month or two you will
get a girlfriend and you can't disagree
with me until you actually try it
yourself so if this is the last video
that you have to watch for the next two
months so be it get out there and go
socialize don't let me down bro don't
let the boys in the comments down too we
all want to see this happen for you so
go do it peace oh pissed
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