4th Grade Lesson (CEL)

Summary

In this engaging classroom transcript, the teacher discusses strategies for improving writing quality throughout an entire story, not just the beginning or a single paragraph. The session includes sharing student work, emphasizing the importance of revising, and introducing 'revision reminders' such as rereading, highlighting, reading aloud, and revising at the start of writing time. Students are encouraged to choose a strategy that resonates with them to enhance their writing and discuss their choices with peers, aiming for continuous improvement in their storytelling.

Takeaways

• 📚 The class has been working on writing revisions, focusing on improving the quality of their writing through various techniques.
• 🏅 The teacher highlighted the good work of Emily and Tyson, emphasizing the importance of crafting leads and revising effectively.
• 🔍 The teacher read the students' revisions and was impressed by the improvement, indicating the effectiveness of the revision process.
• 🤔 The class is encouraged to think about maintaining the quality of writing throughout their entire story, not just in specific paragraphs.
• 📝 A list of revision techniques was discussed, including improving word choice, adding descriptive phrases, dialogue, character thoughts, and removing unnecessary details.
• 👂 Reading stories aloud was suggested as a way to catch inconsistencies and improve the narrative flow.
• 🔄 The idea of revising at the beginning of writing time was introduced as a strategy to approach the story with fresh eyes and make improvements.
• 🖍 Highlighting parts of the writing that need revision was mentioned as a way to remember to revisit and improve certain areas later.
• 🔑 The teacher provided 'revision reminders' to help students maintain the quality of their writing, similar to how athletes pace themselves in a race.
• 📋 Students were asked to choose a revision reminder strategy they want to try and explain why they believe it will help improve their writing.
• 📘 The teacher will check in with students individually to discuss how the chosen revision strategy is working and offer further assistance if needed.

Q & A

What was the homework assignment given to the students the night before the transcript's events?

The homework was to take their writing home, read it, and revise a paragraph to improve it.

What did the teacher do with the students' work on the document camera?

The teacher displayed Emily's and Tyson's work on the document camera to highlight good quality writing and discussed how they crafted their leads.

What is the significance of the chills the teacher felt while reading the students' revisions?

The chills indicate the teacher's excitement and satisfaction with the significant improvement in the students' writing after their revisions.

What is the main focus of the lesson in the transcript?

The main focus is on how to maintain the quality of writing throughout the entire story, not just in specific paragraphs or the beginning.

What strategies does the teacher list for improving writing?

The strategies include improving word choice, using descriptive phrases, adding dialogue or character inner thinking, crafting new leads, removing unnecessary details, and adding more action.

Why did the teacher mention Mike and Dylan in the context of revising?

Mike and Dylan were mentioned as examples of students who realized during conferences that some parts of their writing didn't need to be there and could be improved by removing unnecessary details.

What is the analogy used by the teacher to explain the importance of consistent quality in writing?

The teacher compares writing to running a mile, where some students start fast and slow down, while others might finish strong or peter out, emphasizing the need for consistent quality throughout.

What are the 'revision reminders' the teacher introduces to the students?

Revision reminders include rereading writing often, highlighting areas to come back to later, reading the story out loud, and revising at the beginning of independent writing time.

How does the teacher encourage students to choose a revision reminder strategy?

The teacher asks students to think about which strategy they want to try and why, then discuss it with a partner and give a thumbs up when they have made a decision.

What is the assignment for the students after the discussion on revision reminders?

The students are to write on a green sticky note the revision reminder strategy they plan to use over the next few days and keep it in their writer's notebook for future reference.

What does the teacher suggest for students who finish their current writing project?

The teacher suggests that students can either plan a new story or go back and revise their current work further if they feel there is more to improve.

Outlines

00:00

📝 Writing Revisions and Quality Improvement

The speaker begins by greeting the audience and transitioning into a discussion about writing work. They mention a homework assignment where students were to read and revise their writing. The speaker praises the quality of the students' work, highlighting examples from Emily and Tyson. They also introduce the concept of 'revision reminders' as a way to maintain quality throughout the entire story, not just in individual paragraphs. The speaker lists various revision techniques they've covered throughout the year, such as improving word choice, adding dialogue, and removing unnecessary details. The goal is to apply these techniques to enhance the overall narrative.

05:01

🔍 Strategies for Effective Writing Revisions

The speaker continues by sharing personal strategies for writing revisions. They suggest rereading the work as it progresses, using highlights to mark areas that need revisiting, reading the story aloud to catch inconsistencies, and revising at the start of independent writing time to approach the work with fresh eyes. The speaker encourages students to consider which of these strategies might be most beneficial for them and to discuss their choices with a partner, explaining why they believe a particular strategy will help improve their writing.

10:01

🎯 Implementing Revision Reminders in Writing

In the final paragraph, the speaker assigns the task of choosing and implementing a revision reminder strategy. Students are instructed to write their chosen strategy on a green sticky note and keep it in their writer's notebook for reference during their writing sessions. The speaker also outlines the next steps for students who finish their stories, such as planning a new story or revisiting and revising their current work. The session concludes with a check-in with specific students and an encouragement for all to produce quality writing, applying the chosen revision techniques.

Keywords

💡Writing Work

Writing work refers to the process of creating written content, which is the central focus of the video. The script discusses various strategies for improving the quality of writing, emphasizing the importance of revision and refinement. For example, the speaker mentions the students' homework to revise their writing, indicating that writing work is an ongoing process of improvement.

💡Revision

Revision is the act of reviewing and making changes to a piece of writing to enhance its quality. In the script, the speaker highlights the significance of revising writing to achieve a higher standard, mentioning that students have been engaged in revising their work, which is a key part of the educational process depicted in the video.

💡Crafting Leads

Crafting leads refers to the process of creating compelling introductions to written work. The script mentions Emily and Tyson working on crafting their leads, which is crucial for engaging readers from the start. This concept is part of the broader theme of improving writing quality through attention to detail in all aspects of the writing process.

💡Descriptive Phrases

Descriptive phrases are detailed expressions used to paint a vivid picture in the reader's mind. The script emphasizes the importance of using descriptive phrases to show rather than tell, which helps to immerse the reader in the story. This concept is integral to the theme of enhancing writing by making it more engaging and clear.

💡Dialogue

Dialogue in writing refers to the conversation between characters in a story. The script suggests adding dialogue as a way to improve writing by providing insight into characters' thoughts and feelings. This is exemplified when the speaker talks about adding character inner thinking to make the writing more dynamic.

💡Action

Action in writing pertains to the events and activities that occur within a story. The script mentions adding more action to help the reader visualize what is happening, which is essential for creating a more immersive narrative. This concept is part of the overall message of making writing more engaging and easier to follow.

💡Highlighting

Highlighting is a technique used to mark or emphasize certain parts of the text for later review or attention. In the script, the speaker suggests using highlighting as a strategy to remember parts of the writing that need revision. This method is presented as a practical tool for organizing the revision process.

💡Reading Aloud

Reading aloud is the act of vocalizing written text, which can help writers detect issues or areas for improvement in their work. The script describes reading stories aloud as a strategy that can reveal inconsistencies or clarity issues, such as when the speaker mentions that students often make changes while reading their writing out loud to her.

💡Quality

Quality in the context of writing refers to the standard or level of excellence of the work. The script repeatedly emphasizes the pursuit of high-quality writing, with the speaker discussing various techniques to achieve this, such as revising and improving word choice. Quality is a central theme of the video, as it drives the discussion on how to enhance writing.

💡Independent Writing Time

Independent writing time is a period dedicated to individual writing activities without external instruction. The script suggests revising at the beginning of independent writing time as a strategy, indicating that this uninterrupted time can be effectively used for reflection and improvement of the writing.

💡Green Sticky

The 'green sticky' mentioned in the script refers to a physical note or reminder that students are asked to write on, indicating their chosen revision strategy. This serves as a personal reminder and a tool for teachers to track student choices, tying into the broader theme of self-reflection and goal-setting in the writing process.

Highlights

Introduction to the session on writing work and the importance of revising writing.

Homework involved reading and revising writing from the previous day's work.

Highlighting student work, such as Emily's and Tyson's, as examples of good quality writing.

Discussion on the role of David as a reviser and the importance of crafting leads.

Teacher's excitement about the improvement in students' writing revisions.

The challenge of maintaining the quality of writing throughout the entire story.

Strategies for revising writing, including improving word choice and descriptive phrases.

Adding dialogue and character inner thinking to enhance the story.

The concept of removing unnecessary details from writing.

Incorporating more action to help readers visualize the story.

The idea of 'revision reminders' to maintain quality throughout writing.

Comparison of writing to running a mile and the importance of pacing and consistency.

Suggestions for revision strategies, such as rereading, highlighting, and reading aloud.

The importance of revising at the beginning of independent writing time for a fresh perspective.

Encouragement for students to choose a revision strategy and reflect on its potential impact.

The process of students discussing their chosen revision strategies with peers.

Students sharing their chosen revision strategies and reasons for selecting them.

Teacher's guidance on using the chosen revision strategy over several days and reflecting on its effectiveness.

Assignment to write down the chosen revision reminder on a green sticky note and keep it in the writer's notebook.

Continuation of writing stories with the option to start a new story after finishing one.

Teacher's plan to check in with specific students to discuss their revision process.

Transcripts

good afternoon everyone

oh you're so polite

okay

so this afternoon let's talk a little

bit about the writing work that we're

going to do so you know last night my

homework was to take your writing home

and read it and yesterday your work was

taking a paragraph and revising it and

improving it and you remember how we

started yesterday I put student work up

on the doc camera and it was work that

was really good quality so we had

Emily's up there and we had Tysons up

there and they had worked on Crafting

their leads and David's we didn't get a

chance to share David but we talked

about he's like our our reviser

um and then all of you did that work

last night and can I tell you as I read

your writing revision after revision

after Vision I got chills from

everyone's revisions and how much better

their writing was I know that's what I

was doing yes when I was reading that

work so then I was thinking well what am

I going to teach you today what do we

need to work on if I'm getting such

great quality writing

and then I thought to myself as I read

the rest of your writing going hmm

so something we might need to think

about is how do we have that same

quality of writing in our whole story

thought about that how do you take that

great writing that you did in your

revision yesterday and use that in your

whole story of writing that you're doing

um well there's like two things you

could

um re-read your um story and speak the

paragraphs you don't like you could

um like change them okay or you could

just restart your story okay and we're

going to talk about that today because I

did something about what would I do as a

writer to have good quality for my whole

pieces for my whole story and not just

the beginning or not just one paragraph

so I made this list of all the ways that

we've been revising probably since the

beginning of the year all the times that

you've had to go back and improve your

writing these are things that we thought

about so the first one was working to

improve word choice and descriptive

phrases sound familiar

show what you mean don't just tell

yeah add dialogue or character inner

thinking okay what's going through that

character's mind craft a new lead okay

and that's all that work we did over

there in that poster

taking out unnecessary details we

haven't talked about that one too much

but there's been some of you as I've

conferenced with you we kind of realize

that some of it doesn't need to be there

right Mike we talked about that a little

bit I think Dylan you and I talked a

little bit about the dialogue and

sometimes when we revise we actually

want to take something out

and then the last one here is adding

more action to help your reader picture

what's going on so all of these ways

that we revise help our reader get into

our story

so we're going to we're going to be

these today and think about

well how can I kind of use this in my

whole piece of writing so I'm going to

move this for a moment

so today's work I call them revision

reminders

and when I was thinking about this I was

thinking about when you run the mile to

two times a year and I've been out there

running with students before and this is

what happens this is what I notice

Mrs Meyer says go and everyone starts

running really really really fast

and then you know what happens

yes and some of you at the very end get

that burst of power at the end and you

come on strong and then some of you are

just like literally crawling to the end

when she finally says you're done right

so I think if your writing is like that

a lot of you just get started like the

gun goes and then as you keep writing it

kind of gets a little weaker and then

some of you might go oh I've got a good

ending and you come on strong at the end

and some of you just kind of Peter out

at the end and sometimes maybe even

leave your reader hanging a little bit

so

pardon me is that good I don't what do

you think like living here if that's the

intent yeah you don't want to leave them

in a way that confuses or frustrates

them going you know I don't quite get

what this meant but you can end in a

suspense yeah what if it's like a good

one absolutely so today's work is

thinking about revision reminders so I

went back last night and I thought about

some of the ways that I um think about

revision when I'm writing so that I'm

creating a great quality piece of

writing so the first thing that I think

is I like to reread my writing often

so maybe I write a paragraph and I stop

and I can revise along the way

okay so I write a paragraph I stop I

think about it I add I make some changes

and then I carry on

another idea that I know that I've done

in the past is I highlight places in my

writing that I want to come back to

later

do you know sometimes how I have to get

you to stop writing and you all go

right and you're just in that flow of

the writing and so sometimes

highlighting allows us to do that saying

I know this part isn't quite right but

I'm going to go on so I don't forget

what I want to say but I'm going to come

back to it later and so highlighting is

just that visual reminder that you can

come back to it the third thing and this

is what you started to do a little bit

of yesterday was reading your story out

loud either to yourself or to a partner

and sometimes when we hear our stories

read out loud all of a sudden we can

hear what could be better what doesn't

make sense what needs to be changed I

know lots of you when you read your

writing out loud to me we're always kind

of making changes as we read it you're

like oh yeah I didn't mean to say that

or that word's supposed to be this so I

think that's a great strategy and then

the last one we haven't talked about

this one's kind of new and it says

revise at the beginning of my

independent writing time

because I think today you've had a whole

day not looking at your writing so when

you sit back down it's going to be like

looking at a fresh start

and that's some for you some of you

might be the best time to revise because

you've forgotten a little bit you can

look at it with new eyes and say how can

I make part of my story a little bit

better or improve the quality from what

it was yesterday

so this is what I want you to think

about fourth grade I want you to think

about which one of these strategies

these revision reminders would you like

to try so that your pieces of writing

continue to improve I just want you

actually just think in your mind here

for a minute but I also want you to

think about why you want to choose

certain ones

or why you want to choose number two and

not number four

so just give me a thumbs up when you

think you have one of these that you

think would help improve the quality of

your writing

and it's okay to sit and think a little

bit you this should be a decision

some of you might say I could do two of

these

some of you might be saying I'm not sure

yet

okay so I'm seeing enough thumbs what I

want you to do make sure look around you

have someone that you're going to turn

when I'm finished talking turn and talk

to about

one

which of these do you think you want to

try over the next few days

as a revision reminder and be able to

explain to your partner why you want to

do this one why this one you think is

going to work for you to improve your

writing okay so turn to talk and I'm

going to come and listen to hear what

you have to say

[Music]

[Music]

because three I can understand what I

kind of want

um I already said I wanted to because

I would probably want two and three

years

because they like it but they can

actually give me some suggestions

okay

fourth grade can I get you to turn back

around and I'd love to hear a couple of

ideas that you thought that you talked

about with your partner that you're

going to take back to your writing today

David can you share what you said tick

number three

um read my writing out loud to myself or

to a partner hear what needs to be

changed

um like someone could be like I and so

it could be he so the reader might think

like is like the person in the story

like is he riding the story or somebody

else's so is it first person or third

person telling the story great when you

think of a partner did you think in mind

anyone in here who might make a good

partner to share the story who might be

able to give you good feedback on your

story

yeah and you don't have to say any names

but that's something you want to think

about is we I was just talking to Jaren

about that you don't want to just read

the story to someone who's just gonna

say great story

you want to share it with someone who's

going to say you know what you might

want to think about this part or this

part of my your story didn't quite make

sense great could I hear from someone

who chose a different

uh revision reminder today

I I chose number two

um because I get lost in my stories a

lot and I don't know and I keep on

forgetting what I want to change in it

okay so you think the highlighting will

be the reminder yeah okay so you just

have to remember to actually highlight

yeah okay

how often do you think you might stop

and highlight

um

a lot a lot so you're probably gonna

need a highlighter today yeah right do

you know where the highlighters are yeah

they're great good let's hear one more

um idea for a revision reminder today

Tyson what were you thinking fourth

because

um I I kind of miss out a lot of stuff

in my paragraphs and I want them like so

I can have a fresh start and like get my

thoughts in quickly and so they can get

an added on to what is that to that

paragraph

so you think you could do that today

when you sit down as revise with fresh

eyes today okay nice work I heard some

really good thinking about what you

really want to try as a writer what's

going to work for you if one of these

doesn't work for you when you try it is

it okay to try a different one yeah yes

and I want you to be thinking that this

is many days worth of trying I'm not

expecting that I'm gonna see all this

revision today but when I conference

with you tomorrow or Monday or next

Tuesday I might want to have this

conversation with you is how did this go

is there something that I can help you

with

so your work today is you're going to go

back to your desk and on your desk is a

green sticky and all I want you to write

on the sticky is what was the revision

reminder that you're going to try to use

over the next few days and you're going

to keep it in your writer's notebook and

it also just lets me know that you chose

one and it gives us something to talk

about at our conference and then just

keep that alongside you

you're going to continue your stories

today if you happen to finish a story

who thinks they know what their next

step is going to be Dylan

um to plan a new story you could or you

could go back and

revise but if you felt like you've

revised all that you can on your own

absolutely you can start a new story you

have your character what other story can

you imagine him in Mike I have a

question can we have more than two yes

but I would I would start with one and

do a good job of one and then you can

say now I want to try another one Maddie

with the highlighting if you want to do

the Highland can we do what you did like

right there and highlights like

underline and they go back and like

um do like other parts yes I would look

at your writing go Ooh La La look at all

that revision that went on today

absolutely

um so before I set you free to go forth

and right I want you to turn a talk with

a partner share what do you need to do

when you sit down at your desk today

what's your plan

[Music]

hey when you're ready to go forth you're

turning toward me

thumbs up if you know what you need to

do great so in about a minute I should

see pencils going across papers or eyes

rereading their writing if you're having

conversation it's about

the work okay today I would like to

check in with Jaren

Rachel who's not here Rebecca Jason and

Emily B

so those people if you can gather your

writing I want you to come join me here

at the carpet the rest of you go forth

produce quality writing