How to Start to Find Purpose in Your Life

Summary

The speaker explores the struggle of finding fulfillment in work and life, questioning the pursuit of hedonistic pleasure and suggesting that true happiness lies in the cessation of mental fluctuations. Drawing on ancient wisdom from Patanjali, the talk emphasizes the importance of internal peace over external conditions, advocating for mindfulness and detachment from desires to improve job satisfaction and overall well-being.

Takeaways

• 😔 The pursuit of hedonism can lead to feelings of emptiness, guilt, and shame, suggesting that constant pleasure-seeking isn't a sustainable source of happiness.
• 🤔 The speaker struggles with finding meaning in work or study, experiencing a lack of interest and enjoyment in various jobs and degrees, indicating a search for a deeper sense of purpose.
• 🌪 There's a distinction between the axes of pleasure and pain versus peace and suffering, with the speaker suggesting that societal focus on dopamine often confuses these two axes.
• 🧘 Patanjali's concept of 'Yoga' is introduced as a means to achieve peace and contentment by ceasing fluctuations of the mind, which is key to finding happiness.
• 💡 The speaker emphasizes the importance of internal work over external circumstances in finding happiness at work, suggesting that peace comes from within rather than from the job itself.
• 🚫 The speaker discourages the reliance on the mind's desires for job satisfaction, proposing that this often leads to disappointment and a lack of fulfillment.
• 🤯 The script discusses the idea that the mind's constant fluctuations can lead to unhappiness, and that awareness and control over these fluctuations are crucial for peace.
• 🛑 The concept of 'detachment' or 'vairagya' is presented as a method to stop being controlled by the mind's desires, which can lead to improved work performance and personal satisfaction.
• 💪 The speaker encourages the development of self-awareness and the practice of meditation to gain control over the mind and its reactions to work and life situations.
• 🚀 The script suggests that once detachment is achieved, one can make more objective decisions about work and life, leading to better choices and potentially finding more enjoyment in various jobs.
• 🔄 The speaker points out that the nature of the mind is to fluctuate and that finding peace involves learning to manage these fluctuations rather than seeking constant external stimulation.

Q & A

What is the main concern expressed by the speaker regarding their work life?

The speaker is struggling with finding a job or field that they can enjoy for more than a month, feeling that every job they've tried has been tiresome and painful, leading to a sense of emptiness and lack of motivation.

How does the speaker describe their experience with different degrees and jobs over the past five years?

The speaker has studied for multiple different degrees and worked a variety of jobs in search of something they enjoy, but they have not found anything that is remotely fun or interesting, resulting in a deteriorating mental health.

What is the speaker's current situation with their job and their plans for the future?

The speaker is currently in a job that they find to be the worst one so far, having to work a lot of overtime. They are in contact with someone who has offered them a job in a new field, but they have to endure their current job for almost a year before they can start the new one.

What is the speaker's perspective on the idea that a job is not supposed to be fun?

The speaker challenges the idea that a job isn't supposed to be fun, suggesting that assuming jobs are meant to be unfulfilling could lead to a life of suffering and that there might be something significant being overlooked by dismissing the need for enjoyment in work.

What concept does the speaker introduce to explain the nature of happiness, enjoyment, pleasure, and pain?

The speaker introduces the concept of 'Yoga,' which means union or peace, and suggests that happiness and contentment come from the cessation of fluctuations in the mind, as taught by Patanjali.

How does the speaker suggest one can find peace and happiness in their work?

The speaker suggests that peace and happiness in work come from an internal place and can be achieved by developing detachment and mindfulness, which allows one to experience enjoyment without being controlled by the desire for constant fulfillment.

What is the difference between the axis of pleasure and pain and the axis of peace and suffering according to the speaker?

The speaker explains that the axis of pleasure and pain is different from the axis of peace and suffering. The former is related to the pursuit of dopamine and hedonistic experiences, while the latter is about finding peace through the cessation of mental fluctuations, regardless of external circumstances.

How does the speaker define 'fluctuations of the mind' and why are they problematic?

Fluctuations of the mind are defined as the constant changes in thoughts and desires, which can lead to unhappiness and a lack of peace. They are problematic because they often lead to a cycle of seeking temporary satisfaction through fulfilling desires, which is unsustainable and can result in feelings of emptiness and guilt.

What is the role of 'desire' in the speaker's discussion about finding happiness and peace?

Desire plays a significant role in the discussion as the speaker suggests that the pursuit of fulfilling desires can lead to temporary pleasure but not lasting peace. By developing detachment from desires, one can experience more peace and potentially find more enjoyment in various aspects of life, including work.

How does the speaker recommend dealing with the internal conflict that arises from the pursuit of enjoyable work?

The speaker recommends developing mindfulness and detachment to deal with internal conflict. By becoming aware of the nature of one's desires and practicing restraint, one can reduce the power of desires to dictate happiness and find more enjoyment in the tasks at hand.

What is the speaker's view on the relationship between external circumstances and internal peace?

The speaker believes that while external circumstances can contribute to one's experience of pleasure or pain, internal peace is primarily achieved through the control of one's mind and the cessation of mental fluctuations. This suggests that internal peace is more about how one reacts to external circumstances rather than the circumstances themselves.

Outlines

00:00

😔 The Struggle with Hedonism and Job Dissatisfaction

The speaker discusses the emptiness and shame associated with a hedonistic lifestyle, compounded by the struggle to find fulfilling work. Despite having a good personal life, they cannot find a job or degree that holds their interest for more than a month. Their mental health is deteriorating, and they are losing motivation to engage in life. The current job, with excessive overtime, is the worst experience yet. They are on the brink of burnout and considering welfare as the only option. The speaker contemplates if they are missing the root of the problem by focusing only on the symptoms.

05:01

🧘 Discovering Happiness through Stillness

The speaker introduces the ancient concept of finding peace and contentment through the cessation of mind fluctuations, a principle taught by Patanjali. They explain that true happiness comes from a still mind, free from the constant thoughts and desires that lead to dissatisfaction. By observing the mind’s activity in unpleasant situations, one can understand the role of mental fluctuations in their unhappiness. The speaker illustrates this with examples of desire and boredom, showing how these mental states disrupt peace.

10:02

🔄 The Cycle of Desire and Temporary Happiness

The speaker elaborates on how fulfilling desires only temporarily calms the mind, leading to a cycle of fleeting happiness and eventual dissatisfaction. They use the example of craving and eating chicken nuggets to demonstrate how desires create mental fluctuations, disrupting peace. The speaker emphasizes that true happiness exists within and can be sustained without constantly fulfilling desires. They suggest that both external factors and internal work contribute to job satisfaction, and achieving a balance between the two is crucial.

15:03

🧠 Detachment and Mental Control for Job Satisfaction

The speaker argues that finding enjoyment in work involves managing internal mental states. They recommend developing detachment from desires and practicing mental control to increase job satisfaction. By ignoring the mind’s cravings and tolerating unpleasant experiences, one can cultivate a more enjoyable work environment. This detachment leads to better work performance and reduces internal conflicts. The speaker highlights the importance of objective decision-making and suggests mindfulness as a practice to achieve this state of mental control.

20:04

🧘‍♂️ Achieving Peace through Awareness and Detachment

The speaker discusses how awareness and detachment from desires can lead to peace and better job performance. They suggest practices such as meditation and restraint to control the mind’s fluctuations. The speaker explains that understanding the nature of excruciatingly painful thoughts at work can help in managing them. They emphasize that peace comes from within, and by not letting the mind’s desires dictate actions, one can find enjoyment in any job.

25:06

🌟 The Importance of Good Enough and Letting Go of Perfection

The speaker concludes by stressing the significance of being content with 'good enough' rather than striving for perfection. They argue that true happiness and peace come from accepting what is available and not being controlled by desires for the perfect outcome. The speaker encourages embracing a mindset of sufficiency and finding joy in what one has, rather than constantly seeking more.

Keywords

💡Hedonism

Hedonism is a philosophy or way of life that advocates the pursuit of pleasure and avoidance of pain as the main intrinsic values. In the video, the speaker suggests that living a life solely based on hedonism can lead to feelings of emptiness, guilt, and shame, as it does not necessarily fulfill deeper human needs for meaning and purpose. The speaker uses the concept of hedonism to contrast with the idea of finding true happiness and contentment through internal peace rather than external pleasures.

💡Mental Health

Mental health refers to a person's emotional, psychological, and social well-being. It affects how one thinks, feels, and acts, and can influence daily life. In the video, the speaker discusses the deterioration of the individual's mental health due to the lack of fulfillment and satisfaction in their work and life, which leads to a state of inactivity and despair. The script implies that addressing mental health is crucial for finding a meaningful and enjoyable path in life.

💡Fluctuations of the Mind

The concept of 'fluctuations of the mind' refers to the constant changes and movements in one's thoughts and emotions. The speaker explains that these fluctuations are a source of unhappiness and discontent because they prevent the mind from achieving a state of peace and contentment. The video emphasizes the importance of understanding and managing these mental fluctuations to find happiness, suggesting that peace comes from the cessation of such fluctuations.

💡Yoga

Yoga, derived from the Sanskrit word meaning 'union,' is a practice that combines physical postures, breathing techniques, and meditation for health and relaxation. In the context of the video, yoga symbolizes the union of body and mind, and the cessation of mental fluctuations to achieve peace and contentment. The speaker uses the concept of yoga to illustrate the path towards inner peace, which is different from the pursuit of external pleasures.

💡Desire

Desire refers to a strong feeling of wanting to achieve something or obtain something. In the video, the speaker discusses how desires can create fluctuations in the mind, leading to unhappiness when they are not fulfilled. The script suggests that understanding and managing desires is key to achieving a state of peace and contentment, rather than constantly seeking to fulfill them.

💡Detachment

Detachment is the state of being objective and not being emotionally attached to the outcome of events or the fulfillment of desires. The speaker in the video argues that developing detachment can lead to improved work performance and overall life satisfaction. By practicing detachment, one can reduce internal conflict and approach work and life with a clearer, more objective perspective.

💡Internal Conflict

Internal conflict refers to the struggle between opposing feelings, beliefs, or values within an individual. In the video, the speaker talks about how internal conflict can make work and life feel unsatisfying. By developing detachment and managing desires, the speaker suggests that one can reduce internal conflict and find more enjoyment and fulfillment in their work and life.

💡Meditation

Meditation is a practice where an individual uses a technique, such as focusing their mind on a particular object, thought, or activity, to achieve mental clarity and emotional calmness. The video mentions meditation as a tool to cultivate awareness and control over one's thoughts and emotions, which can help in achieving a state of peace and reducing mental fluctuations.

💡Dopamine

Dopamine is a neurotransmitter responsible for the brain's reward system, influencing motivation, pleasure, and reinforcement learning. The speaker in the video discusses how the pursuit of dopamine, often associated with hedonistic activities, can be misleading and not lead to long-term happiness. Instead, the speaker advocates for finding peace and contentment through internal means rather than relying on external stimuli for happiness.

💡Vairagya

Vairagya, a term derived from Sanskrit, refers to dispassion or non-attachment, often used in spiritual contexts to describe the state of being free from desire. In the video, the speaker introduces the concept of vairagya as a means to develop detachment and reduce the influence of fluctuating desires on one's happiness and peace of mind.

💡Awareness

Awareness refers to the state or ability to perceive, to feel, or to be conscious of events or situations. In the context of the video, awareness is presented as a key to understanding and controlling one's thoughts and emotions. By being aware of the nature of one's pain or dissatisfaction, the speaker suggests that individuals can begin to manage their mental fluctuations and move towards a state of peace.

Highlights

The emptiness and guilt associated with living a life of Hedonism.

The speaker's struggle with finding meaning and interest in life, leading to a sense of being a waste of space.

The lack of motivation to engage in social activities or relationships due to a perceived lack of purpose.

The impact of the speaker's mental health deterioration on their daily life and activities.

The speaker's experience with various jobs and degrees in a five-year quest for finding meaningful work.

The concept that happiness and contentment may come from within rather than external circumstances.

The introduction of Patanjali's principle of 'Yoga' or 'Union' as a path to peace and contentment.

The idea that peace is achieved through the cessation of mental fluctuations, not the fulfillment of desires.

The speaker's realization that external solutions like finding the perfect job may not bring lasting happiness.

The distinction between the axes of pleasure and pain versus peace and suffering, and their societal confusion.

The role of technology and dopamine in creating a chase for temporary pleasure rather than sustainable peace.

The importance of internal work and self-awareness in finding happiness, rather than solely relying on external factors.

The practice of detachment as a method for controlling one's mind and increasing enjoyment in all jobs.

The liberating effect of not allowing the mind to dictate actions and the improvement in work performance as a result.

The concept of mindfulness and its adoption in prestigious business schools to enhance performance and peace.

The speaker's personal experience with developing detachment and its positive impact on their ability to tolerate unpleasant experiences.

The advice on how to increase the ability to control one's mind through awareness and meditation.

The final message that happiness is not about getting what you want but being at peace with not getting what you want.

Transcripts

if we live a life of Hedonism we're

going to feel empty we're going to feel

guilty we're going to feel ashamed of

ourselves I'm not doing anything with my

life I'm going to feel like other people

are like good and like I'm like a waste

of space and all this kind of stuff I

have no dreams or aspirations and I

can't find anything that interests me no

experience in posting online stuff but I

will try to be as short and concise as

possible generally most people I know

would say I have a pretty good life I'm

pretty happy with myself and my

personality have a good family and a

good group of friends the only problem

is I simply is simply that I can't find

any job degree or field that I can work

with for more than a month without

hating everything about it being

somewhat easy going I first thought that

the solution would be to try out new

things until I find something I can be

happy doing I've studied for multiple

different degrees and worked a whole lot

of jobs in my search for something over

the past five years but have never found

anything I find even remotely fun or

interesting every single day that I have

spent working slash studying so far have

been nothing but tiresome and

excruciatingly painful in the beginning

I was motivated to find my place in the

world now I'm beginning to doubt that it

even exists as a result my mental health

has been deteriorating to the point

where I spend my time after work and

weekends doing almost nothing but laying

in bed staring at the ceiling I have no

motivation to go out to meet new people

or start a relationship or other things

that I actually want to do I believe I

might be depressed but I don't want to

prescribe any sort of illness to myself

without talking to a doctor or

psychiatrist first good smart without

going into detail that is currently not

an option nor will it be for some time

that's sag and unfortunate my current

job was yet another attempt at finding

something that might catch my interest

however it has turned out to be the

worst one so far as I have to work a

painful amount of overtime to fulfill my

duties I'm currently in contact with

someone who has offered me a job within

a new field but I will have to endure my

current job for almost a year until I

can start working there if it turns out

to be be as bad as everything else I've

tried so far I have absolutely no idea

what to do I can feel that I am quickly

running out of gas and I think my next

job is the last attempt I get before

giving up on everything and start living

on state welfare welfare while lying in

bed 24 7. I have no requirements when it

comes to salary location or status only

that I can find something I can enjoy at

least every now and then what am I

supposed to do keep searching until I

inevitably burn out am I perhaps failing

to deal with the problem at its root

while focusing only on the symptoms any

help is appreciated so sometimes we get

into this situation where we don't like

any work we're looking for our place in

the world right there's a place there's

a there's a U-shaped hole out there

somewhere that only you can fill and we

go looking for it and each thing that we

try is not something that we find happy

like we're not filled with happiness and

joy and so like we're like okay this is

not for me and it becomes excruciatingly

painful because I I don't enjoy it right

it's not fun and then people out there

may say like oh but a job isn't supposed

to be fun right you're supposed to

suffer kind of true and kind of like

really bad right because I mean if

that's true does that mean that I

essentially have to sign up for a life

that's excruciatingly painful and

there's something really Insidious about

that because if we sort of assume that a

job is not supposed to be fun and we

kind of write off peace or enjoyment or

excitement in a job because we say oh

it's like just not a possibility then we

could be writing something off that's

very very significant right so what do

you do in this situation where you've

tried a bunch of things and it's not

just jobs right it's also degrees right

like oh I'm gonna try to figure out what

I want to do with my life so I'm going

to study this that's not fun I'm going

to try something else that's not fun I'm

going to try something else that's not

fun and then what do I do like how do

you move forward because the more that

you pull yourself out of the hole

because let's let's understand like how

you get into the hole for a second right

so as I try something and I don't enjoy

it I try something and I don't enjoy it

I try something and I don't enjoy it

what am I doing to myself am I getting

any kind of positive reinforcement for

going out there and trying no of course

not every time I try it's like an epic

fail excruciatingly painful as this

person puts it then what is my brain

doing it's telling me why are you

wasting your time going out there and

trying something like clearly there's

nothing positive that's reinforcing this

Behavior so then as your brain is

starting to tell you don't bother I.E

lay in bed all day you have to use

willpower to overcome a lack of

reinforcement so you go out there and

once more into the breach and then like

that's not fun and you come back and so

then you without any kind of positive

reinforcement you end up using willpower

over and over and over again then you

end up burning out it becomes easier to

lay in bed so how do you overcome this

situation so this is going to sound kind

of weird but we're actually going to

take an approach that's like really

really like in a sense simple but quite

profound and also quite old we're gonna

dig into what is like the nature of

Happiness enjoyment Pleasure and Pain

like how do these things work and it

turns out that there's actually one

phrase which will sort of explain all of

this stuff and also how to navigate

forward like how to move forward so we

sort of talk about happiness as

something that's Elusive and difficult

to understand or like hard to find like

what is the meaning of happiness it

turns out that there was this guy named

patanjali who lived maybe about two

thousand to three thousand years ago who

figured it out and he said one thing

which is Yoga

okay that we may be like what what on

Earth does that mean so I'll explain

I'll translate it for you yoga which

means Union in this case we're going to

kind of talk about peace and contentment

so peace happiness and contentment comes

from fluctuation cessation of

fluctuations of the mind so when our

mind stops fluctuating that's when we'll

be at peace so the first thing that I'm

going to ask y'all is like when you're

in an excruciatingly painful work

situation what is your mind doing

chances are it's going to be having lots

of thoughts okay so this is something

that we're going to illustrate using a

diagram so this is something that's like

really simple actually but we we just

never we never discuss it like we don't

actually teach this but even just out of

this one sort of insight from a yogi a

meditator basically we're going to learn

a lot about how to fix this okay so

let's understand this okay so remember

we said yoga

which means Union or peace is attained

by cessation of fluctuations in the mind

so let's understand this principle and

you're like what does this have to do

with finding like happiness in life

let's talk about it okay let's say that

my mind

is still so when I'm enjoying myself I

know it sounds kind of weird but there's

going to actually be like Stillness of

the mind so let's say that like I'm

meditating right so when I'm meditating

and if I'm in a good meditative session

my mind is still when I'm watching a

sunset sitting on the beach and just

like vibing my mind is still when I'm

like let's say I'm go to a party and I'm

dancing and I'm having a good time like

my mind isn't going to be filled with

thoughts now let's look at something

like boredom so if I'm sitting somewhere

and I start to get bored what happens to

my mind my mind starts to fluctuate okay

so as I get bored I think about this

thing I think about this thing I think

about this thing I go over here I start

thinking in all these different

directions and if I dislike my job or if

I dislike what I'm studying what's gonna

happen my mind is going to start

thinking in a bunch of different ways

I'm going to create more fluctuations in

the mind and the more fluctuations I

create in the mind the more unhappy I

become so I have a question for you if

you're in this situation you can do a

simple experiment which is when you go

to a place where you're not not enjoying

yourself notice what your mind is doing

is there a bunch of activity in your

mind because chances are there is how

long do I have to do this oh man I can't

believe I have to do this this sucks I

don't want to be here I want to be

somewhere else I don't like this person

this isn't Fun am I ever gonna find

something how do I find what am I going

to do if this doesn't work out what if I

do how do I find this should I keep

looking should I not keep looking all of

those are fluctuations of the mind it's

all not being at peace so I'll give you

all another example to illustrate this

let's say my mind is peace at peace and

then I smell chicken nuggets I smell

some nuggies suddenly I have a desire

and there's a fluctuation of the mind

I'm no longer at peace because I smell

something and then I start thinking

about nuggies I want the Nuggie I want

to eat the Nuggie I want the Nuggie oh

my God it's so good and then if I eat

the Nuggie what happens in my mind so

experiment number two next time you have

a desire what does it do to your mind it

creates a fluctuation it starts to

create thoughts I want a nugget am I

going to be able to afford it is it

healthy for me is it unhealthy for me oh

my God if I eat it I'm gonna it's not

good for my health it creates guilt I

worry about finances I've got food at

home so many fluctuations of the Mind do

you all see that and with each of these

fluctuations am I happy am I at peace no

now what happens if I eat the Nagi as I

eat the Nagi I experience enjoyment my

mind calms down right oh man that nug is

so good I'm just sitting there I'm

enjoying it so now we've returned to the

Baseline of the mind and we've become

content but only for so long right

because then what happens there's

another fluctuation I'm unhealthy this

thought pops up and then your peace is

destroyed you all see this so

potentially figured it out any

fluctuation of the mind is going to lead

to a lack of peace and so what what

tends to happen in our life is we have

desires we have all these Desires in the

only way that we know how to bring our

mind back to peace is to fulfill our

desires that's why we fulfill our

desires so the problem though is that

even when we fulfill our desires by

eating nuggies this doesn't it's not a

sustainable solution because this will

result if we live a life of Hedonism

we're going to feel empty we're going to

feel guilty we're going to feel ashamed

of ourselves I'm not doing anything with

my life I'm going to feel like other

people are like good and like I'm like a

waste of space and all this kind of

stuff so even fulfilling desires doesn't

fix it forever the other basic problem

with nuggies is like if I eat nuggies

today what's going to happen tomorrow

right so even if I have nuggies for a

little bit and even if I distract myself

through video games or whatever so I

don't feel guilty after eating nuggies

right because that's what we do because

in order to make the bad thoughts go

away I'm going to distract myself

tomorrow will come around and I will

want nuggies again I'm personally

struggling with this because I had

nuggies on Friday and so I've wanted

them all weekend it's been hard Chad you

guys see this so even fulfilling our

desires is only a temporary solution at

best but here's the key principle to

understand forget about desires for a

second where does the happiness exist

where does the peace exist here here and

here this is what patanjali figured out

so then the question becomes is there a

way to hang out here without fulfilling

our desires the answer is absolutely and

if we understand that then we will be

happy so let's talk about work for a

second in the case of work my first

question to you is to be happy at work

what are the parts of being happy at

work is there an external component if I

find the right job what percentage of

Happiness can I get and is there an

internal component what percentage of

Happiness can I get at work with an

internal through internal work so if I

go looking for the perfect job will I

ever be able to find a job that will

make me 100 happy right so what is the

percentage contribution of internal

versus external like is it 100 and zero

so my happiness involves finding the

perfect job or is it 50 50 right or is

it zero one hundred what is it so let me

put the question to you all another way

so one person is suggesting 2080. can

you if I take a fixed job that does not

change at all is it possible that I can

do something internally that will

increase my enjoyment of the work or

decrease my enjoyment of the work is

that possible so that answer I think is

absolutely yes so here's the other way

that I put it here's a person I've tried

this job this job this job this job they

are all excruciatingly painful let's use

a different analogy I've dated this

person this person this person this

person this person all people suck are

this person's an this

person's an this person's an

this person I've dated so many

people I keep on dating

everyone out there is an where's

the problem are they really all

do all jobs truly suck I'm not saying

that jobs don't suck right we're not

saying well we'll get there eventually

we're not necessarily espousing that my

point is that if you're out there and

you think everything around you is the

problem you can go look for the perfect

job and who knows you may find it but my

point is that if you're looking for an

external solution you've got to be super

careful because it could be at least

partially an internal problem and in

this case like I think that's the

direction that this person should look

so this is what's kind of interesting is

that as we look to our own happiness

within a work situation we'll realize a

couple of different things so there's a

difference between the axis of Pleasure

and Pain and the axis of peace and

suffering and this is the big problem

with society today is that we confuse

these two axes why do we confuse these

two axes because of Technology because

of dopamine so we know that people who

live hedonistic lives if I just spend

all my time chasing dopamine and I move

in this direction do these people live

lives of peace and fulfillment no they

end up over here dopamine puts you right

here because we try to retreat away from

pain now are there cases let's think

about this like are there cases where

you can feel at peace with yourself even

if you're struggling sure

absolutely so for example when I was in

medical school I helped women give birth

and that's this experience that is

excruciatingly painful

and yet

luckily most women that I worked with I

would put childbirth up here I'd ask

them would you do it again if you

couldn't they're like absolutely that's

kind of interesting sometimes they do do

it again sometimes they deliver a second

baby a third baby fourth baby right so

it's actually possible like to have up

here be up here and so then the question

is well well what you know what dictates

whether something is if we're sort of

saying that the axis of peace and

pleasure is different from the axis I

mean sorry pain and pleasure is

different from the axis of peace and

suffering like how do we move along this

axis and that's where we go back to this

cessation of fluctuations of the mind

and I've experienced this myself I mean

not childbirth but like for example when

I'm on call being on call for 30 hours

and working in a hospital is not fun

it's not like binge like playing video

games is fun but the problem is that

when I do a bunch of dopaminergic stuff

I end up up here being on call is in

this direction and then there's other

stuff right like there's like going on

vacation with with my family which is

actually up here right so that's like

fulfilling and it's fun there are even

times where gaming can be up here like

it depends on when you're doing it right

and there are times where there's like

pain there's stuff down here too

absolutely so if you're in this

situation like the first thing to to

really think about is what access are

you chasing because when I hear I don't

enjoy my job I think they're looking for

this so you're moving in this you're

fine trying to find a job that is like

dopaminergic and if you're trying to

find a job that's dopaminergic you can

keep looking out there but I hate to

break it to you but no job is going to

be able to compete with this

no job

will be able to compete with this and so

you're looking to get peace out of

dopaminergic jobs that ain't gonna

happen now you can find a job that you

enjoy you find more pleasurable but it

still won't bring you peace peace is

about cessation of fluctuations of the

mind so then the question becomes okay

how do I stop the fluctuations of my

mind and so that's where I really start

by like going back to this experiment

which is like what is it that you don't

enjoy about your job what is it that is

excruciatingly painful about your job

chances are it's some kind of thought I

find this boring I'm not having fun this

is not what I expected it's not living

up to my expectations right it's like

what's going to be excruciatingly

painful I mean I don't know maybe your

job is physically painful so that's a

whole different ballgame but chances are

what people find excruciatingly boring

or painful about their job is like up

here and so that's where you can control

how you react up here you can absolutely

do it so there are tasks that you can

enjoy or not enjoy like you can

cultivate that sort of internal

enjoyment how do you do that with

Detachment so this is what I'd say is

that if you're in this kind of situation

are you looking for a dopaminergic hit

from your job just ask yourself that

question if the answer is yes then like

ask yourself how reasonable is that and

this is also where I sort of recommend

tolerance right so don't give in to your

mind because your mind is like oh this

isn't as fun as gaming like screw this

and so then the question is do you want

your mind to dictate your actions does

your mind need to be satisfied in order

for you to go to work because if you if

it is then you're screwed because then

your mind if your mind is satisfied then

you luck out and if your mind is not

satisfied then you're unlucky and the

nature of the mind is to be fluctuant I

don't know how to say this but if you're

relying on your mind then like the mind

doesn't stay happy from one thing over

and over and over again that's just not

how it works right you can't play one

video game for the rest of your life

maybe people who play chess are the

exception so it does happen I suppose

but even within chess there's a variety

right you're not playing the same person

over and over and over again so you've

got to be super careful and so this is

what's kind of interesting is as you

start ignoring the desires of your mind

you will cultivate Detachment and you

can even practice that by ignoring

desires that your mind has if you want

nuggies no more nuggies for how long for

a year for a decade so between the ages

of 21 and 31 abouts I basically gave up

one of my favorite things and I was like

just not gonna get it just not gonna get

it and every time I wanted it I was like

yeah we're just not going to do that and

my mind would like squirm it'd be like

why not what's the harm why are you

doing this when is it going to end I

just be like yeah we're just not going

to do it today we're not going to do it

today and then eventually the mind like

chilled out and then what I realized is

like I'm no longer like in like I'm not

no longer controlled by this thing and

then I can start tolerating unpleasant

experiences the interesting thing is

that once you start developing

Detachment and you start stop chasing

the fluctuations of the Mind any job

becomes more enjoyable so what I found

is that like something bizarre happened

which is that people are like I hate

this class like I hated histology but I

could still study for it okay I loved

physiology way more but I you know was

it easier to study physiology sure but I

could do both and what I noticed is that

all my colleagues in medical school were

tortured so anxious oh my God like I

didn't know how to prepare for the

surgery what if the surgeon thinks that

I'm an idiot and it's like I'm gonna

prepare as best as I can the surgeon

thinks I'm an idiot he's gonna think I'm

an idiot and then I'm gonna get a bad

grade and so be it the most I can do is

study for the surgery and it's bizarre

it's liberating and the other really

bizarre thing is once you start

developing Detachment or vairagya and

not following like what your mind wants

you to do it actually people may think

but then how on Earth am I going to

succeed at work does that mean that I'm

apathetic on the contrary it actually

means that your work performance

improves right which is exactly why

places like Stanford Business School and

Harvard Business School are teaching

mindfulness which is one of the ways

that you develop Detachment because it

actually leads to improvements in

performance and you may ask but Dr K how

on Earth does not following my desires

at work how does that lead to an

improvement in work performance and I

don't know how to say this but like

imagine what your work would be like if

if you are completely free from your

desires you could like if you could do

whatever like then you can just work for

the sake of working there's no inner

conflict between oh what if like what

people don't like my ideas so I'm not

gonna do them no it's like if people

don't like it they don't like it I'm

gonna go ahead and do it anyway what if

there's no longer a conflict between

doing what you enjoy and financial

compensation because remember a lot of

what what causes us to struggle at work

is internal conflict do I follow my

passion or do I like you know work at an

airline and make like 150k a year as a

programmer what do I do it's this

internal conflict whereas once you're

free of the internal conflict you your

job does what the job is supposed to do

it's like no problem for you it actually

is absolutely liberating to no longer

have internal conflict at work because

of like conflicting desires and so I

know it sounds kind of weird this may

not be the answer that y'all are

expecting but if you're having trouble

enjoying anything at work and I'm not

saying that tolerate bad things just

because you're detached in fact once you

become detached you can recognize oh

this is is actually like not a good work

situation so I'm going to move the cool

thing is that once you're detached

there's no guilt around it it's like

okay this is objectively bad and you

start acting objectively instead of

subjectively because when you're

attached you're very subjective it's all

up in here oh my God and once you start

to detach yourself right you gain

distance from your problem you will

become more objective and then you can

start like making good choices because

your mind is no longer Tangled Up So if

you're struggling to find the right kind

of job because no job is enjoyable to

you you've got to start thinking a

little bit about where does enjoyment

come from does it come externally or

internally and you have to work somewhat

on yourself internally to recognize okay

what does it mean when the job is

excruciatingly painful what is my

experience of excruciatingly painful

chances are it's up here and so then the

question is does this control you or do

you control this because as long as this

controls you you're never going to find

a job that you enjoy but once you start

controlling it you will find that the

enjoyment of all jobs will increase and

I'm not saying that don't be calculating

there may be some things that you still

enjoy more than others right because

getting to Enlightenment that state of

100 and zero is very difficult but you

can get to 50 50. and as you get to 50

50 it'll be a lot easier to find jobs

that you enjoy once it becomes easier to

find jobs that you can enjoy then you've

got options instead of like burnout and

laying in bed all day okay so how do you

actually do the control though sometimes

it it seems I can and sometimes I can't

like how do I increase that chance of

being able to every day so this is

excellent question the control is

fundamentally achieved through awareness

so if your job is excruciatingly painful

do you even understand what is

excruciatingly painful about it what is

the actual substance of excruciatingly

painful because I will bet you money

that the experience of excruciatingly

painful is thoughts it's just thoughts

this is a dead end job the job is what

it is it's neither dead end or not dead

end it may not have great professional

prospects but where is the pain coming

from it's from the thought that this is

a dead end job there are some people who

will agree that this is a dead-end job

there are some people will agree that it

will say that this isn't a veteran job

it's still work experience on your

resume if you work in retail and don't

have an opportunity for promotion after

two years you still have two years of

retail experience under your belt you

can go apply for somewhere else there's

an advantage to any job but that's not

the way that your mind sees it so it

starts by awareness what is the nature

of excruciating pain where does that

come from and then what you'll realize

it's wild what you realize is it's

fictitious it's a mirage right it goes

back to what I was saying about like I

still remember on my surgery rotation I

was blown away it's like if I'm gonna do

bad like I can study that's all I can do

is study and either I'll have studied

the right thing or not studied the right

thing there are some things that I can

do so I'll even go and ask the resident

hey I've got this case tomorrow do you

have any recommendations for how I

should prepare resin is like yeah I

would read a b and c I go home and I

read a b and c if the attending asks me

if the surgeon asks me about d e and f

what was I supposed to do I went and

asked the person what I should study

should I have ignored that is that the

right move and just study other random

things that the person told me not to

study because that sounds like the wrong

move and that's when you begin to

realize that like all you can do in life

is what you can do and you can't get

hung up on what other people do now

should you ignore feedback from other

people no we're not saying that you live

a life of selfishness and ignore other

people I'm saying most you can do is

what you can do once you start to

realize that then you will start to

control your mind you can also practice

through meditation you can practice

through even to a certain degree like

the bus yard even deprivation of some

kind right so you can practice

restraining your desires so pick a food

that you enjoy don't eat it for a decade

and then you may think oh

but what what I can't eat it for a

decade what is it like you only like one

food no there's like plenty of other

good stuff to eat you're gonna survive

no but like I'm not gonna be happy well

like you eating the food right now it's

not like you're happy anyway control

your mind and then notice Watch what it

does no nuggies for a necking Watch what

it does how it Rebels but it's like hold

on a second you've been eating nuggies

for 20 years are you happy in life well

no but I want it I want it so then the

question is okay like who's gonna decide

what you do the part of your brain

that's like I want it though don't take

it away from me yeah it's just like of

course you're gonna enjoy it there's no

question that you're gonna enjoy it but

does you does it bring you peace or does

it bring you suffering how do you

control it with practice with awareness

pay attention all of these things why

are you unhappy because I didn't get

what I want so is that going to be the

criteria for happiness and unhappiness

once again let's be critical about it

when you get what you want how long does

the happiness last I want the perfect

wedding I want a dream wedding and I do

not care what any anyone else wants I'm

uninviting my older sister because she

has lost weight and is trying to make me

look bad I want it's my perfect day how

long does the happiness from your

perfect day last the really sad thing is

that oftentimes people who fight really

hard for their Perfect Day get their

perfect day and are unhappy because of

it even Soul Munchies is saying that day

I would argue that not really because I

think when they get their perfect day

there's so much resentment built up they

get their desires but they're not

actually at peace they get what they

wanted but deep down they're fuming and

if they don't get what they want they're

resentful so what's the answer what's

the solution the solution is to be not

okay and be at peace with not getting

what you want I don't need perfect I'm

happy with good enough

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