My Honest Advice For Those Who Feel Lost & Confused

Summary

This video emphasizes the importance of self-reliance and personal responsibility. It argues that no one, not friends, family, or the government, will save you from your struggles. The speaker encourages viewers to change their mindset, set goals, and take consistent action to improve their lives. The video highlights the pitfalls of whining, procrastination, and seeking external validation. It urges individuals to expand their minds, engage in meaningful conversations, and focus on solutions rather than problems. The overarching message is to embrace forward movement and self-generated goals to overcome challenges and achieve personal growth.

Takeaways

• 💪 Nobody is coming to save you; it's up to you to change your mindset and take action.
• 🧠 Whining and complaining will only make your situation worse. Focus on solutions instead.
• 📈 Adopt a goal-oriented mindset. Motivation and passion come from pursuing and working towards a goal.
• 🗣 Surround yourself with positive influences and engage in meaningful conversations related to your goals.
• 📚 Continuously expand your mind by reading new books, exposing yourself to new content, and having intentional conversations.
• 🔄 Avoid procrastination and the trap of seeking advice as a way to delay taking action.
• 🔍 Focus on solving problems rather than just discussing them. Take tangible steps towards your goals.
• ⚖ Think and act from the perspective of your ideal self, making decisions that align with your long-term goals.
• 🎯 Play infinite games in life, like entrepreneurship and long-term relationships, that provide ongoing growth and fulfillment.
• 🚀 Regardless of how you feel, take action. Forward movement and investing energy into your goals are crucial to overcoming challenges and improving your situation.

Q & A

What is the main message of the video?

The main message is that no one is coming to save you; you must take personal responsibility for changing your situation and achieving your goals.

Why does the speaker emphasize that whining and complaining are unproductive?

Whining and complaining are unproductive because they narrow the mind, preventing the discovery of potential solutions and maintaining a focus on the problem rather than the solution.

What does the speaker mean by 'ideas beget behavior'?

The speaker means that our actions are a result of the ideas we have; we can only act on what we know or believe to be possible.

What is the concept of 'entropy' as mentioned in the video?

Entropy, in this context, refers to the gradual decline into chaos or disorder if no effort is put into maintaining a system, which can be applied to personal growth, relationships, or even physical order like a bookshelf.

Why does the speaker suggest that seeking advice can sometimes be a form of procrastination?

Seeking advice can be a form of procrastination because some people ask for advice instead of taking action, and then ignore the advice given or continue seeking more without applying any of it.

What is the significance of focusing on goals rather than problems when trying to achieve something?

Focusing on goals helps the mind to engage in pattern recognition, picking up information and ideas that are conducive to achieving those goals, whereas focusing on problems can lead to a self-fulfilling prophecy of failure.

What is the importance of having a 'minimum viable goal' according to the speaker?

A minimum viable goal is important because it provides a starting point to invest energy and effort, which in turn can build motivation and passion for achieving larger objectives.

Why should one avoid sharing their goals or actions prematurely with others, as suggested in the video?

Prematurely sharing goals or actions can lead to a false sense of accomplishment and can become a substitute for actual progress, as people may get validation from stating their intentions rather than achieving them.

What is the concept of 'infinite games' and how does it relate to personal growth?

Infinite games are ongoing pursuits with evolving rules and goals, such as entrepreneurship or long-term relationships. They relate to personal growth by providing continuous challenges and opportunities for development, unlike finite games which end after achieving a specific goal.

How does the speaker define the difference between 'finite' and 'infinite' games in the context of life pursuits?

Finite games have a clear end and a winner/loser outcome, like reaching a rank in a corporate job. Infinite games, on the other hand, have no end and allow for continuous evolution and change, such as building a business or maintaining a long-term relationship.

What is the final piece of advice the speaker gives regarding taking action regardless of feelings?

The speaker advises that one can and should take action regardless of their feelings, as physical movement and effort towards a goal can break the cycle of stagnation and initiate progress, even when emotions are low.

Outlines

00:00

🚫 Personal Responsibility for Change

The paragraph emphasizes the importance of self-reliance in personal growth. It suggests that while external support can be helpful, it is ultimately up to the individual to alter their mindset and take action. The speaker addresses those feeling lost or trapped, offering a framework for self-improvement. They stress that complaining and seeking external validation are unproductive, and instead, encourage viewers to adopt a proactive approach to solving their problems. The concept of entropy is introduced to illustrate the consequences of inaction, likening it to a gradual decline into chaos without effort. The speaker also critiques the habit of seeking advice as a form of procrastination, rather than a genuine pursuit of solutions.

05:01

🧠 Expanding Mindset and Goal Setting

This paragraph discusses the necessity of having an open mind and a clear goal to overcome challenges. It suggests that people often seek dopamine hits from sharing their intentions rather than the satisfaction of achieving them. The speaker warns against the trap of external validation and encourages quiet, focused effort instead. They explain the power of pattern recognition in goal achievement and the importance of maintaining a goal-oriented mindset. The paragraph also touches on the idea that focusing on the problem can lead to a self-fulfilling prophecy of failure, advocating for a shift towards goal-focused thinking to unlock new possibilities and ideas.

10:01

📚 Continuous Learning and Experimentation

The speaker encourages continuous learning and exposure to new ideas and content as a means to achieve goals. They highlight the role of social media algorithms in shaping one's identity and goals, advising viewers to curate their social feeds deliberately. The paragraph introduces the concept of 'infinite games' versus 'finite games,' advocating for the pursuit of long-term, evolving goals over short-term, fixed objectives. The speaker also emphasizes the importance of testing and experimenting with new ideas, as well as making decisions from the perspective of one's ideal self, to foster personal growth and success.

15:02

🏋️‍♂️ Action Despite Feelings

In the final paragraph, the speaker stresses the ability to act regardless of one's emotional state. They argue that taking action is the key to breaking out of negative cycles and moving towards personal goals. The paragraph differentiates between short-term fixes and long-term investments in areas such as relationships and health, advocating for sustainable approaches over quick fixes. The speaker also promotes the idea of playing 'infinite games' in life, such as entrepreneurship and maintaining long-term relationships, as a way to bring meaning and fulfillment. They conclude by encouraging viewers to invest energy into self-generated goals to avoid stagnation and succumbing to entropy.

Keywords

💡Responsibility

Responsibility refers to the state or fact of being accountable or to blame for something. In the video's context, it emphasizes the individual's obligation to take charge of their own life changes and improvements. The script mentions, 'if you don't take responsibility of digging yourself out of that hole, you are not going to get out of that hole,' highlighting the importance of self-reliance in overcoming personal challenges.

💡Mindset

Mindset is a set of attitudes or beliefs that shape an individual's reactions and behaviors. The video underscores the need to adopt a proactive mindset where one acknowledges that they must be the agents of their own transformation. It is exemplified when the speaker says, 'the mindset that you have to adopt from the beginning of this video,' which sets the tone for the self-help narrative.

💡Complaining

Complaining is the act of expressing dissatisfaction or annoyance. The video script criticizes a culture of 'whiners and complainers,' suggesting that this behavior is counterproductive and prevents individuals from finding solutions to their problems. The speaker warns that 'the more you've surrounded yourself with these people, the more you've unconsciously adopted that as your own behavior.'

💡Pattern Recognition

Pattern recognition is the ability to identify regularities or patterns in information. The video explains that focusing on a goal rather than a problem enables pattern recognition to work in favor of achieving that goal. The script states, 'your mind does this magical thing called pattern recognition,' which helps individuals pick up environmental cues that align with their aspirations.

💡Entropy

Entropy, in a general sense, refers to a measure of disorder or chaos. The video uses entropy to illustrate the concept that without input or effort, systems (including one's life or goals) will decline into disarray. The script mentions, 'if energy is not put into a system, it's the fact that everything falls apart,' drawing a parallel between physical and metaphorical entropy.

💡Goal

A goal is the object of a person's ambition or effort. The video repeatedly emphasizes the necessity of having a clear goal to work towards. It is stated that 'the first step to getting out of this rut, or just taking back control of your life, is one, just having a goal,' which is fundamental to the video's message of self-empowerment.

💡Procrastination

Procrastination is the action of delaying or postponing action. In the script, the speaker criticizes people who seek advice as a form of procrastination, avoiding the直面 of their problems. The video mentions, 'most people ask for advice as a procrastination method to hide from the problems,' indicating a barrier to personal growth.

💡Dopamine

Dopamine is a neurotransmitter associated with rewards and pleasure. The video discusses how dopamine is released not only when achieving a goal but also when telling others about one's pursuits, potentially leading to a false sense of accomplishment. The speaker notes, 'there's a study that shows that dopamine is released in the same manner for telling people you're pursuing a goal, as it is for actually achieving the goal.'

💡Infinite Games

Infinite games are activities with no defined end, where the rules and objectives can evolve over time. The video contrasts finite and infinite games, advocating for the latter as a means of continuous growth and development. The script explains, 'infinite games are ones that you don't stop playing,' suggesting that activities like entrepreneurship and long-term relationships fall into this category.

💡Forward Movement

Forward movement represents any action taken towards progress or a goal. The video concludes with the idea that taking any form of action, regardless of feelings, is essential to overcoming challenges. The speaker declares, 'the solution to most of your problems is just forward movement,' encapsulating the video's call to action.

Highlights

Nobody is coming to save you. You must take responsibility for changing your mind and situation.

Surrounding yourself with whiners and complainers narrows your mind and prevents you from finding solutions.

Whining and complaining do not help your situation; only solving the problem does.

Entropy and impermanence mean that without effort, everything will fall into chaos.

Asking for advice can be a form of procrastination; people often ignore advice or seek it for a dopamine hit.

Focus on the goal, not the problem. Your mind will pick up information that helps you achieve your goals.

Having a goal, even a faint one, is crucial to start building motivation and passion.

Condition yourself to focus on the goal through reading, conversations, and exposing yourself to new content.

Infinite games like entrepreneurship, health, and long-term relationships evolve and provide continuous growth.

Avoid finite games with fixed outcomes; they lead to boredom and lack of growth.

Act regardless of how you feel. Forward movement is key to breaking out of stagnation.

Invest energy into self-generated goals to prevent stagnation and entropy.

Don't seek approval by telling everyone your plans; focus on building and achieving your goals.

View decisions from the perspective of your ideal future self to make better choices.

Unfollow everyone on social media and rigorously curate your feed to support your goals.

Transcripts

Nobody is coming to save you.

Now your friends, now your family, not the government.

They can offer advice and tools, but at the end of the day,

it's up to you to change your mind.

Do your situation

from a new perspective and act regardless of how you feel.

This video is for

those that feel like

they are in a dark place, or feel like they are lost.

I want to come in and hopefully provide a framework,

or at least some clarity to help you dig yourself out.

Because as is the title of this video,

nobody's going to save you.

What that means is that I'm not going to save you either.

In the mindset that you have to adopt

from the beginning of this video

is that if you don't take responsibility of digging yourself

out of that hole, you are not going to get out of that hole.

And by complaining and whining like most people do,

you're only going to dig yourself further in this topic

of nobody coming to save you.

Usually comes into play

when you're actually trying to do something with your life.

You're trying to take back control of your life.

You're trying to start a business.

You're trying to learn a new skill.

You're trying to become financially free.

You're trying to potentially

find someone to get into a relationship with.

You're trying to clear your mind

so that you can have better ideas

so that you can act in a better direction.

Because ideas beget behavior,

and you can't act on something

that you don't know is possible,

or you can just be trying to get fit

or really do

anything to just make your quality of life that much better.

The problem is that we live in a generation of whiners

and complainers.

They are abundant.

You can find them online.

You find them in the comment section.

You find them literally everywhere.

I'm sure you have friends that whine and complain.

I'm sure you have parents that whine and complain.

And the more you've surrounded yourself with these people,

the more you've unconsciously adopted

that as your own behavior.

And then as you whine and complain about your own situation,

you further narrow and close your mind off

to finding a potential solution

to help you reach that next phase of business

health, relationships,

whatever it is that you're pursuing right now.

The one thing that I want you to realize,

just think rationally.

Just think for once in the last week,

because I'm assuming

if you're in this situation, you're watching this video,

you don't feel very good.

You hope that someone's coming to save you, but they aren't.

You haven't

yet made the crucial realization that you have to me,

that whining or complaining, if you just think it

through, is not going to help you at all.

That's not doing anything

for the situation that you're in at all.

The only thing that can solve the problem is solving

the problem.

That means solving not solved, not solve it's future tense.

It means you're doing something.

You're solving. You're moving.

Because if you're not moving, that means you're stagnant.

And if you're stagnant,

that means you're not putting effort or energy into the system

that leads to a potential end result that you want that solves

the problem.

Therefore, that's when entropy comes into play.

And if you don't know what entropy is,

that is the gradual decline into chaos.

If energy is not put into a system, it's

the fact that everything falls apart.

It's the Buddhist principle of impermanence

that everything is changing.

And with entropy it goes even further to say

that everything is in decline

unless effort is put in to maintain the system now.

A practical example of that is just books on a bookshelf.

While books are very durable,

they can end up all over your house.

They can warp.

The spines can warp.

They can get damaged.

Just in general.

When you pass them off to your friend,

they can get lost at a friend's house.

If you don't put effort

into maintaining the order of your bookshelf.

The same comes into play for cleaning your room.

How many of you had to have your mom

clean your room when you were a kid?

Probably a lot of you, unless she told you to,

because she understood that if you did not clean your room,

it would just get dirtier

and dirtier and dirtier until it just became uninhabitable.

But at that point, your identity follows suit,

and it affects your mind so much

that your mind in that environment becomes that environment.

It becomes dirty and sloppy

and can't think in a clear corrected manner.

So I could give you tips like go make your bed every morning,

or organize your bookshelf or clear off your desk,

which I literally just did.

But I'm not going to give you those

because that's not a very big picture.

That's good

for just adopting as a habit,

but it's not going to make that much of a difference.

Now, another problem before we actually dive into solutions

is the fact that most people ask for advice

as a procrastination method to hide from the problems

that they need to solve themselves.

What I mean by that,

and as a person

who has a decent amount of followers on social media,

I see this all the time.

I cannot name how many times people have commented

asking for advice

under a video, under a post, on Twitter or Instagram,

and I've answered them

just for them to go on and completely ignore it

or ask another one, or just say that I'm flat out wrong.

What was the purpose

of asking the question in the first place?

If you're already set on keeping your mind closed

and not opening it

to a potential solution, to me

it seems like people don't want solutions.

They want to feel as if they know what the solution is.

They want

the dopamine hit

that comes from telling people that they're doing things,

or that they're trying to accomplish something,

as opposed to reaping

the dopamine that comes from actually achieving the goal.

This is an actual scientific thing.

I forget the exact study,

but there's a study that shows that dopamine is released

in the same manner for telling people

you're pursuing a goal

as it is for actually achieving the goal.

So a lot of people get addicted to telling people

what they're doing so that other people approve of them

and think highly of them, rather than just staying quiet,

building, solving the problem

and then showing them saying, hey, look, this is what I saw.

So one potential trap

that you should stay out of is to just ignore the desire

to tell every single person what you're doing, because

when again, you think this thing through,

that's not going to lead to anywhere good.

The only good thing it could lead to

is them potentially helping you.

That is on a case by case situation.

So what I'd rather you do is just stay quiet, start building

and then tell people what you're building.

Not I'm building this.

Think highly of me saying I'm building this.

Here's how you can benefit.

Will you come help me now?

The last reason you feel stuck or trapped,

or you feel like you need someone to come save you,

is that you haven't expanded your mind beyond the problem,

so it's impossible to solve

if your mind is only focused on the problem.

That means it's not focused on a solution.

And when you don't know what the solution is,

if you have a goal but you're not clear on how to get there,

your mind does this magical thing called pattern recognition,

where you pick up information in the environment

that helps you achieve the goal.

So if your main focus

is the problem,

you're going to further dig yourself into the problem.

If your focus is the goal and you condition, you

consciously condition yourself

to continue focusing on the goal.

This is like a form of positive thinking,

but not the delusional positive

thinking of like, oh, just think positive all the time.

Because evil exist, negativity exists.

That's a stupid way to go about life,

and it leads to more negativity than just being negative

at times and learning to deal with that.

So back to the point.

When you focus on the goal, even if you don't know what it is

and you continue focusing on that goal,

your mind will pick up ideas that help you achieve the goal.

When you're reading a book,

any book, your mind will bias the information

and ideas that you highlight

that will help you achieve the goal.

I'm sure you've already experienced this,

and this goes for conversations too.

When you have more conversations with people

or when you're scrolling on social media,

you will pick up the information

that helps you achieve the goal that is on your mind.

To further hammer home this idea that I'm telling you

is that everyone

that has different goals on their minds

are going to highlight different things in books.

They're going to pick up different things in conversations.

Their perception is going to be framed

to be advantageous toward the end goal that they're pursuing.

And if you're pursuing the problem,

then that's a self-fulfilling prophecy

that you're going to fail.

Now, the first step to getting out of this rut

or just taking back control of your life, is one

just having a goal.

If you don't know what your goal is, I'm

assuming that you have other people

that you aspire to be like.

You have something like, don't

tell me that you don't know what you want to be or what goal

you have.

You're lying to yourself. Just sit back and think.

It doesn't even have to be that accurate at first.

It just has to be a minimum viable goal,

something that you can at least

start to put effort and energy into, because that's

the only time when motivation and passion will start to build.

You don't just become motivated or become passionate.

It comes at the inception of a goal

and investing energy into the goal.

Actually moving toward

the goal is where those things come into play.

So what you need to do

is you need to

just have this faint image

of a goal or vision that you want to actualize.

And now

you need to start stacking ideas

that bias that goal or vision.

So you need to change your mind and expand your mind

by reading new books,

having more conversations, intentional conversations,

not just mindless conversations

with your friends like, oh, did you play that new video game?

Did I don't even know what people talk about nowadays.

That has nothing to do with any of the goals

they're trying to achieve.

Start the conversations

with your friends and your parents

and your partners or whoever.

Have the conversation

framed around the goal

you're trying to achieve,

so that you can gain more clarity on how to achieve it.

And if you even want to achieve that goal.

Because only by starting conversations in that direction,

whether they're actual verbal conversations or conversations

with a book or content

or with your own mind,

is how you're going to open up potentials.

Aside from the goal that you just came up with,

you're going to find new possibilities

and new goals that you can pursue,

and that may make more sense to you.

And if you don't do this process

and if you're focused on the problem,

then you're never going to think of the goal

that leads to the next goal

that makes you aware of the next goal,

that makes you aware of an idea

that leads to this goal that you never thought was possible.

But now you're pursuing and make your life's work.

So read new books, have more conversations,

expose yourself to new content.

One thing about the algorithm is it straight up programs

your identity into whatever your goal is.

As I said, you notice more things.

You notice the things that help you achieve your goals.

So if you don't have a goal,

that means someone assigned your goal.

That means whatever you notice on social media,

whatever is important to you, that's what importance is.

Importance is a signal

that that is useful for survival towards your goal.

So if someone assigned you a goal

and you have no idea what it is, something

that's important to

you will stick out on social media,

that content will continue to show to you.

So if your goal is to unconsciously troll on social media

and just be a subhuman,

then the content that you're exposed to is going to condition

that identity

because you're going to spend more time on that content.

The algorithm is going to show you more,

and you're going to end up in this echo chamber of content

with people that you probably don't want to end up like.

So use this as a time to literally unfollow everyone,

myself included.

Then from a clear conscience and toward the goal that you're

trying to pursue, start to follow people and find more people.

Follow one person, then look in their comments.

Find other people to follow. Follow them.

Look at the people that they follow.

Follow them and be absolutely rigorous on mental learning.

Your feed on social media.

Because social media is such a powerful tool

for learning and building and meeting new people

and actually creating the life that you want to live.

But it can quickly, very quickly destroy your mind.

Now, the next thing you're going to do,

as you're pursuing a goal

and you're stacking ideas that allow you to achieve the goal,

like new tactics

that you're learning for business, or new diet

models that you're learning for health

and you're starting to test

and experiment with these things

that step number two is testing. Experimenting.

Step number three is when you face a difficult situation

or you have to make a decision, view

the situation from the perspective of your ideal self.

What that means is who do you want to be?

This is not really saying okay,

I know exactly who I want to become,

so I'm going to think through their lens.

This is more so saying I need to zoom out,

and this is a great way to frame

how far you zoom out into the future.

Ten years from now, 20 years from now,

what is the decision that you wish you would have made

and how did that lead to you

becoming the person you want to be?

So if I'm trying to start a business

and I'm invited to go out with friends,

and I know that that is going to impact the lever moving

task that I have to do

to actually make the business a success.

Do I actually want to go out with friends

or is that just a distraction?

This is how you filter

what I should do from what I shouldn't do.

And it is your job

to consistently make the decisions that you should do

so that that becomes a habit and success compounds.

But this also requires you to actually think for yourself.

Is going out with your friends a good thing to do?

Have you stayed

in so many times that you can afford a night out?

Think for yourself throughout all of this.

The next thing here,

just as a guideline, is to play infinite games.

Infinite games are ones that you don't stop playing.

There is no end finite games or games

that have a winner and a loser.

So that means that there are rules and a goal

for people to finally achieve.

But then the game is over.

After that, infinite games continue playing.

There are finite games within infinite games, but as you play,

the thing with infinite games

is that you can continue changing the rules and the goal

so that it continues going further and further.

It evolves.

So the infinite games that you can play

are things like business or entrepreneurship

or health or relationships.

What I mean by that is business versus employment,

where employment,

you reach a specific rank in the corporate hierarchy, that is,

once you reach that rank,

not everyone can be the CEO of that company.

Everyone can be their own CEO,

especially in today's world with the one person business

and technology

and all of the things that I talk about

an infinite game is entrepreneurship, because you can choose.

You make the choice of what games you want to play.

Employment is where you win the game

and then everything becomes boring.

There's no new challenges, there's no evolution.

You sit there performing the same repetitive tasks

day in, day out, like a specialized robot.

You don't discover the depth of life

and you get trapped there.

What I mean by getting trapped

there is you get trapped on the surface.

Since there is no further goal to pursue in your life,

you are stuck chasing the cheap pleasures.

This comes into play with relationships as well.

Long term relationships are infinite games.

You continue playing them

and you change the rules as you reach

new stages of the relationship.

That's how you bring meaning,

fulfillment and energy and passion into the relationship.

But beyond that, flings here and there.

That's a quick fix.

That's how you bounce around on the surface and never invest

long term energy into one thing that brings out

or allows you to dive deeper and discover more in life.

In terms of health, fad diets are an example.

You have to zoom out and study the big picture principles

that involve diet and nutrition

by studying

various perspectives along the way

and coming up with your own way of doing it.

By following a fad diet,

you're likely to stick with the routine.

Feel very good in that routine for a good amount of time,

but then you're just going to fall off

and you're going to be like, okay,

why don't I feel the same way? Don't I feel as energetic?

Usually it's not the diet

that's giving you energy, it's

the clarity that comes from the routine

that you're adopting from someone else.

That is the fad diet model.

And then once that wears off,

you're going to be like, okay, now I need to go pursue

another one.

Carnivores are switching to repeat.

Atkins diet doesn't even exist anymore.

They just all change.

You can notice these finite games and choose not to play them.

The last thing I want you to understand relating to nobody's

coming to save you

is that you can act regardless of how you feel.

I don't care what thoughts you have on your mind right now.

If you have legs, you can stand up and walk

no matter how you feel,

no matter if you have the most painful

whatever in your stomach.

If you are the most depressed

individual in the world,

there is a way to get up

and get to the other side of the room.

If you feel depressed

or you're crying all the time,

you can still get up and wash the dishes.

I don't care how much you don't want to do them,

you can still do them.

And by doing them,

that's how you break out of the conditioned,

closed mind that you've dug yourself into

or trapped yourself in.

That is the first step

to actually getting out is just forward movement.

The solution to most of your problems is just forward

movement.

It's investing energy into a goal.

Any goal, any self-generated goal, not one.

That's assigned to you.

Because if you aren't investing energy into a goal,

then you're stagnated and you will succumb to entropy

and be dragged back into the situation

that you're currently in.

And the reason you're watching this video, that is it.

Thank you for watching.

Get to a writer.

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