Are you actually autistic or are you really an introvert? (5 Ways To Know the Difference)

Summary

In this insightful video, Paul Micallef from Autism from the Inside explores the nuanced differences between introversion and autism. He poses five reflective questions designed to help viewers discern whether they identify more with being an introvert, autistic, or possibly both. The script delves into preferences for solitude, social anxiety, sensory sensitivities, emotional regulation, and the sense of belonging, aiming to provide clarity on this often confusing spectrum of human behavior.

Takeaways

• 🤔 The script discusses the overlap between traits of introversion and autism, such as preferring solitude and not being very social.
• 📊 It suggests that while many people may identify as introverts, a significantly smaller percentage are autistic, indicating a need to differentiate between the two.
• 🧐 The first question to consider is why one prefers spending time alone—whether it's for personal enjoyment or due to finding social interactions stressful.
• 👥 The second point is about the effort required to maintain relationships, with a focus on whether one finds it difficult to connect deeply with others.
• 👂 The third takeaway discusses the importance of sensory preferences and how atypical sensory experiences can be a sign of autism.
• 💪 The fourth point highlights the challenges many autistic people face with emotional regulation, which can be a result of sensory overload or social stress.
• 🏠 The feeling of home as a safe haven where one can recharge and feel secure, as opposed to the outside world which can be perceived as hostile, is a common theme among autistic individuals.
• 🌐 The script emphasizes the difference in personal identification with the group, where autistic individuals often feel like outsiders and struggle with a sense of belonging.
• 🤝 It contrasts the introverted preference for fewer but close relationships with the autistic experience of wanting deeper connections but finding it challenging to achieve them.
• 🔍 The importance of self-reflection through the proposed questions is underscored to help individuals understand their own tendencies and experiences better.
• 📈 The final takeaway is an invitation for viewers to support the channel and share their experiences, highlighting the community aspect of the content.

Q & A

What is the main purpose of the video by Paul Micallef?

The main purpose of the video is to help viewers differentiate between being autistic and being an introvert by asking themselves five reflective questions.

Why might the traits of introversion and autism seem to overlap initially?

The traits of introversion and autism may seem to overlap because both can involve a preference for solitude, less social interaction, and a tendency to engage in individual activities.

According to Paul, what percentage of the population identifies as an introvert?

Paul suggests that approximately 50% of the population identifies as an introvert.

What percentage of the population is autistic, as mentioned in the video?

Less than 5% of the population is autistic, according to the information provided in the video.

Why is it suggested that being an extreme introvert might indicate autism?

Being an extreme introvert might indicate autism because autism is a neurological difference, and significant deviation from the norm could be a sign of this condition.

What is the first question Paul suggests asking oneself to determine if they are autistic?

The first question is about why one likes spending time alone—is it due to a preference for certain activities or because the outside world is perceived as stressful and dangerous.

How does Paul describe the typical effort required to maintain relationships for an introvert versus an autistic person?

Paul describes that introverts might not have many friends but are satisfied with their existing relationships, whereas autistic individuals might find maintaining relationships challenging and desire deeper connections.

Outlines

00:00

🤔 Differentiating Autism and Introversion

This paragraph introduces the video's purpose, which is to help viewers distinguish between being autistic and being an introvert. It acknowledges the overlap in traits but emphasizes the importance of understanding the nuances. The speaker, Paul Micallef, offers five self-reflective questions designed to explore personal tendencies towards solitude, social interaction, and sensory experiences. The paragraph also touches on the prevalence of introversion versus autism in the population, suggesting that while many may identify as introverts, autism is less common and presents differently.

05:01

🏠 Solitude Preferences and Social Anxiety

The second paragraph delves into the first question about why an individual might prefer spending time alone. It differentiates between enjoying solitary activities for pleasure and seeking solitude due to social anxiety, which is more common among autistic individuals. The paragraph explains that for many autistic people, being alone feels safe, contrasting with the stress and unpredictability of social interactions. It suggests that the desire for isolation stems from a need to avoid the energy-draining experience of fitting into mainstream society.

10:01

🤝 Effort in Maintaining Relationships

This paragraph discusses the second question, which is about the effort required to maintain relationships. It contrasts the introverted stereotype of having a few close relationships with the potential struggle autistic individuals face in forming and maintaining connections. The paragraph highlights the difference between not seeking new relationships due to contentment with existing ones and the difficulty autistic people might have in relating to others on a deeper level, often due to sensory or social challenges.

👂 Atypical Sensory Experiences

The focus of the fourth paragraph is on sensory experiences and how they can differ between introverts and autistic individuals. It points out that while everyone has sensory preferences, autistic people often have atypical sensory profiles that make everyday environments challenging. The paragraph suggests that if one's sensory preferences are within the norm, they might not be autistic. It also discusses the impact of sensory issues on the desire to isolate and the importance of a controlled environment for autistic individuals.

😣 Emotional Regulation Challenges

This paragraph explores the fourth question regarding emotional regulation. It notes that autistic individuals often face challenges in managing their emotions, which can be exacerbated by sensory overload. The paragraph describes how strategies like stimming can help with emotional regulation and suggests that if one does not struggle with emotional dysregulation, especially when alone, they may not be autistic. It also touches on the idea of the outside world being 'hostile' and the relief that comes from returning home for autistic individuals.

👽 Feeling of Otherness and Belonging

The final paragraph addresses the fifth and last question, which is about personal identification and the feeling of belonging. It discusses the profound sense of otherness that autistic individuals often experience, contrasting it with the shyness or quietness of introverts. The paragraph emphasizes the repeated experiences of rejection and exclusion that are common in the autistic experience, especially during childhood. It concludes by summarizing the five questions and inviting viewers to share their experiences, reinforcing the video's goal of providing clarity on the distinction between autism and introversion.

Keywords

💡Autism

Autism, or autism spectrum disorder, is a developmental disorder characterized by challenges with social skills, repetitive behaviors, speech and nonverbal communication. In the video, it is the central theme, with the speaker exploring the differences between autism and introversion, and providing questions to help viewers determine if they might be autistic. For example, the script mentions that 'less than 5% of the population are autistic,' highlighting the rarity compared to introversion.

💡Introversion

Introversion refers to a personality trait where individuals prefer spending time alone or in small groups and often find socializing draining. The video discusses introversion in contrast to autism, noting that many people identify as introverts but are not necessarily autistic. The script points out that 'a very large percentage of the population, probably of the order of 50%, to identify as an introvert.'

💡Social Anxiety

Social anxiety is the fear of social situations that involve interaction with other people, which might be experienced by some autistic individuals. The video script explains that 'a lot of autistic people have some version of social anxiety,' such as overthinking social interactions or finding them stressful, which can lead to a preference for solitude.

💡Sensory Profile

A sensory profile refers to an individual's unique responses to sensory stimuli in the environment. The video mentions that many autistic people have 'an atypical sensory profile,' which can make everyday environments like shopping centers overwhelming due to loud noises or bright lights, unlike the sensory preferences of neurotypical individuals.

💡Emotional Regulation

Emotional regulation is the ability to manage and control one's emotions effectively. The script discusses how many autistic individuals face challenges with emotional regulation, which can be exacerbated by sensory issues. For example, the video states that 'emotional dysregulation is also a common side effect of having extreme sensory hyper-reactivity.'

💡Stimming

Stimming, short for self-stimulatory behavior, is a common trait among autistic individuals, where they engage in repetitive physical movements or sounds to self-regulate. The video script describes stimming as 'an incredibly common... trying to regulate our own emotions and focus and attention, through some kind of physical activity.'

💡Burnout

Burnout refers to a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion caused by excessive and prolonged stress. The video script mentions 'autistic burnout' as a common experience for autistic individuals because living life with autism can be likened to 'playing life on hard mode,' where even everyday activities can be energy-draining.

💡Isolation

Isolation is the state of being alone or separated from others. In the context of the video, it is discussed as a preference for some due to the stress of social interactions or because the outside world feels hostile. The script states that 'the reason many autistic people prefer to spend time alone, is because being alone is safe.'

💡Relationships

Relationships, in the video, refer to the social connections and bonds that individuals have with others. The script explores the effort required to maintain relationships for introverts versus autistic individuals, noting that if someone has never struggled with this, it might indicate they are not autistic. It contrasts those who are content with a few close relationships with those who desire deeper connections but find it challenging to achieve.

💡Outside World

The term 'outside world' in the video represents the social environment beyond an individual's private space, which can be perceived as stressful or hostile for autistic individuals. The script uses this term to illustrate the contrast between the safety of being at home and the challenges of navigating public spaces, such as 'the outside world with all of these crazy, unpredictable people, that's scary, that's stressful.'

Highlights

The video discusses the overlap between introversion and autism traits, such as preferring solitude and low sociability.

Paul Micallef from Autism from the Inside shares five self-reflective questions to differentiate between being autistic and introverted.

Introversion is common, with about 50% of the population identifying as introverts, compared to less than 5% being autistic.

Autism is a neurological difference, and being an extreme introvert could potentially indicate autism.

The first question to ask is why one prefers to spend time alone, whether it's due to enjoyment of solitary activities or because social interactions are stressful.

Autistic individuals may prefer solitude due to social anxiety and the stress of fitting into mainstream society.

The second question explores the effort required to maintain relationships and whether one is satisfied with a few close connections.

Introverts may not seek new friendships, but autistic individuals often desire deeper connections despite social challenges.

The third question addresses sensory preferences and whether one finds most environments comfortable or struggles with sensory overload.

Autistic people often isolate due to sensory sensitivities, finding public spaces overstimulating and uncomfortable.

The fourth question inquires about emotional regulation and whether one feels a constant battle to stay emotionally stable.

Autistic individuals commonly experience emotional dysregulation, especially when dealing with sensory hyper-reactivity.

The final question examines personal identification with peers and whether one has always felt like an outsider.

Autistic individuals often feel a deep sense of difference and struggle with social inclusion, unlike introverts who may simply prefer less interaction.

The video emphasizes the importance of understanding the nuances between introversion and autism for personal identification and support.

Support for the channel is available through Patreon, allowing viewers to contribute to the content they find valuable.

Transcripts

Are you autistic or just an introvert?

At first glance, lots of traits of introversion

and autism seem to overlap,

like tending to prefer your own company,

not being very social,

perhaps a tendency to do your own thing

and spend lots of time alone, away from the world.

So in this video,

I'll share five questions that you can ask yourself

to help you figure out if you're autistic

or an introvert or maybe both.

Hi everyone, Paul Micallef here

from Autism from the Inside.

I make weekly videos sharing the human side of autism,

so make sure you hit subscribe to get the latest content.

So according to the theory,

we're all somewhere on the scale

from extreme introversion to extreme extroversion.

Of course, real life is more complicated than that

and we probably have some traits of both,

but either way,

we can expect a very large percentage of the population,

probably of the order of 50%,

to identify as an introvert.

Conversely, we know that less than 5% of the population

are autistic.

So clearly there are a lot of introverts out there

who are not autistic and that kind of makes sense.

Most of us are somewhere in the middle

in terms of introversion and extroversion,

but what about the extreme end?

Can you be an extreme introvert

without necessarily being autistic?

It's probably worth mentioning

that since autism is a neurological difference,

then if you're an extreme anything

compared to the majority of the population,

then that's already potentially an indication

that you might be autistic,

but we know that introverts are not necessarily autistic

and in fact, there are lots of autistic extroverts as well.

So how can we tell the difference

between extreme introversion and autism?

The first question to ask yourself is,

why do you like spending time alone?

By itself, preferring your own company

is not a sign of autism at all.

It's extremely common.

Lots of people like spending time by themselves.

So if you tend to like activities

that you can do by yourself like reading or gardening

or writing or drawing or any number of other things

that you tend to do by yourself,

none of these are any indication that you might be autistic.

They're more like a preference

for a certain type of activity.

So the question is, why do you like spending time alone?

Is it because there are lots of things you like to do

and they happen to be by yourself

and you happen to find them really relaxing and recharging

or is it because you find people stressful?

A lot of autistic people

have some version of social anxiety,

whether it's overthinking social interactions,

trying to prepare in advance, maybe with scripted replies

or by wanting to know every detail

of what's likely to happen.

When you feel like you're just a bit different

from other people, it can be hard to find ways to connect.

It can be hard to fit in,

hard to do what everyone else is doing

and above all, really stressful,

taking a lot of energy to try to fit in,

to try to participate in mainstream society.

So a lot of the time,

the reason many autistic people prefer to spend time alone

is because being alone is safe.

You don't need to worry about what other people think,

whereas going out into the world

with all of these crazy, unpredictable people,

that's scary, that's stressful,

that doesn't feel safe or relaxing at all.

In other words, the reason I'm isolating myself

is not just because I enjoy reading or gardening,

but because I find the outside world openly hostile.

So question number one,

why do you like spending time alone?

Is it a preference for a certain type of activities

that you find pleasurable

or is it because you have a general sense

that the outside world is stressful and dangerous?

And so the effort of putting on a mask

so you can go out and try and fit in

is too difficult and too stressful

so you'd prefer to just stay at home

where you can relax and feel safe.

Question number two is,

how much effort do you have to put in

to maintain your relationships?

The introverted stereotype

is someone who doesn't have that many friends,

but he's probably fairly close

with the one or two friends they have.

You probably have a handful of long-term relationships,

maybe in your family, for example,

and you're probably not that interested

in just going out and meeting people

for the sake of meeting people.

So the question here is a little bit similar

to the first one.

What is the reason for not having a large number of friends?

Is it because relationships are really difficult

or is it that you're just not that interested

in making new friends for the sake of new friends

when you're actually already reasonably satisfied

with the relationships you've already got?

If you've never struggled to maintain relationships

or be understood by the people around you,

that's a pretty strong sign you're probably not autistic.

I've met quite a few people who are extremely introverted,

but they don't have a problem going out into the world,

interacting with people on a superficial basis,

like small talk or getting along with colleagues

or having these kinds of acquaintance-level,

nice, polite relationships.

It's just that they're reasonably happy

with the one or two close friends they've already got.

In fact, for some people,

having polite small talk with a stranger

is a lot easier than trying to show up and be vulnerable

and make a real connection with this person.

Whereas it's a common autistic trait to want more friends,

wish you had deeper, more nourishing long-term relationships

and to want to skip all that small talk

and superficial stuff and actually jump straight

to connecting with a real person.

So you can see that the result

might be having not that many friends.

There may even be an aversion to going out

and trying to make new friends

because it's really difficult,

but the underlying reason behind it can be quite different.

So the second question to ask yourself

is are you happy and satisfied with your relationships

even if you don't have that many friends?

The third question to ask yourself to help figure out

if you're autistic or just introverted

is around your sensory profile.

Do you have an atypical sensory profile

or are you more or less happy with most environments

most of the time?

We all have sensory preferences.

Everyone has some things in life that they prefer not to do.

Lots of people don't like wearing a tie

or high heels or makeup, for example,

but it's much less common to dislike shopping centers

because they're too loud or bright or noisy.

Similarly, do you find that most foods are okay?

Or do you really struggle to find anything palatable

even at a nice restaurant?

For a lot of autistic people,

one of the reasons that we often isolate

is because when I can control my own environment,

I can make sure that I'm okay.

As soon as I leave the house,

as soon as I go into a public space,

then suddenly I have to deal with a sensory world,

an environment that was created for your average person.

And it's likely to be too loud or smelly

or overstimulating in some way.

So if your sensory and environment preferences

don't fall too far out of the norm

of what people would expect,

that's a fairly strong sign that you might not be autistic.

Having some degree of sensory sensitivity

or maybe insensitivity that gets in the way

of everyday life,

especially when you're trying to be out in a public space

that was designed for your average person

is an extremely common autistic trait.

I'm not sure I know an autistic person

who doesn't have some degree of significant challenge

with a sensory issue.

So question number three,

do you have atypical sensory preferences?

So question number four,

do you find it difficult to regulate your emotions

or do you feel mostly okay most of the time,

especially when you're by yourself?

Most autistic people will have some degree of challenge

around regulating our own emotions.

Now, if I have strategies that are working for me,

then I may not necessarily perceive it as a challenge.

For example, instead of saying,

oh, I have an issue regulating my focus

and attention and energy,

instead, I'll just say,

oh, I just need to have a pen in my hand at all times.

It's just really helpful for me to pay attention

and things like that.

So stimming, for example, is an incredibly common,

even if there are lots and lots of different ways to stim,

trying to regulate our own emotions and focus and attention

through some kind of physical activity is extremely common.

Emotional dysregulation is also a common side effect

of having extreme sensory hyper-reactivity.

If I have to push myself through staying

in a sensory unfriendly environment, like a shopping center,

then I will build up all of this energy and tension

in my body that I then need to regulate at a later time.

This is one of the reasons why a lot of people

describe autism as playing life on hard mode,

because it costs a lot in terms of strategies

and emotional regulation,

just to go to the supermarket and come home.

And again, this is one of the reasons

that a lot of us tend to spend a lot of time at home

and isolate ourselves from the world,

because the environment at home,

the strategies that I can employ at home by myself

are much more comfortable, much more pleasant

than trying to get by in the outside world.

So if you enjoy your time at home by yourself,

you don't often get emotionally unregulated.

You can go out into the world and participate in society

relatively easily, as much as you want

or as much as you need.

And coming home to spend time by yourself

is a nice little treat,

like watching your favorite TV series

or having a really good night's sleep,

then maybe you're not autistic,

because a more common autistic experience

is feeling as though the outside world is quite hostile

and that to stay out in it requires a lot of energy

to push through and coming home isn't just nice,

it's the safe place.

You've finally made it to safety, finally relax,

finally let your guard down

and desperately try and recharge

and build up your energy again

so that you can go out

and face that big dangerous world tomorrow.

This is why autistic burnout is so common,

because if life is on hard mode,

then even the everyday things can take a lot of energy.

Whereas if you're introverted and not autistic,

then chances are, so long as you get enough downtime,

enough time alone to recharge,

then going out and interacting with the world

is probably gonna be fine for you.

So question number four,

does it feel like a constant battle

to stay emotionally regulated

or are you mostly okay most of the time in most situations?

So question number five

is around your own personal identification with the group.

Do you feel like you belong with your peers

or have you always felt like an outsider,

always felt different,

like there's something that means you're not gonna fit in?

It's entirely possible to be a shy, quiet version of normal,

more or less the same as everyone else,

just talking less and not being very outgoing.

Now, sometimes being shy can lead you to be by yourself

and left out of a group,

but the autistic experience is another level entirely.

It's not uncommon for autistic people to ask questions like,

am I an alien?

Am I the same species?

Am I on the wrong planet?

Why do I feel so different to the other kids around me?

Being included at all

often requires a lot of effort to try and fit in.

It's not just a matter of being more outgoing

or reaching out for connection.

We've probably tried both of those things

and ended up with rejection every time.

I'm not left out and end up playing by myself

because I'm quiet and prefer my own company.

I end up alone playing by myself

because I'm left out and excluded from the group.

Very early in my own autism discovery journey,

I remember reading a story by John Elder Robison,

where he was recounting his own childhood

and noted that the psychologist would say things,

looking at the outside,

things like, Johnny doesn't like to play

with the other kids.

And he was looking back on that, revising the story,

saying, Johnny would love to play with the other kids.

All the other kids are really mean to Johnny.

Johnny is gonna play by himself instead.

It's got nothing to do with being quiet

or preferring your own company.

A lot of autistic people end up alone

either through outright rejection and exclusion

or because it's just easier

than trying to navigate a complex social space.

So if you haven't experienced

a high degree of rejection and exclusion,

especially in school where social dynamics

are a lot less kind and considered,

then that's probably more evidence

that you might not be autistic.

Of course, introverts can also experience rejection

and bullying, but this repeated experience

again and again in different situations

tends to be a pretty common hallmark

of the autistic experience.

So there we have it, five questions

that you can ask yourself to help figure out

if you're autistic or introverted or maybe both.

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Otherwise, thanks for watching.

Please leave a comment.

I'd love to hear your experience

of what resonated the most for you in this video.

So I hope this has been helpful for you

and I'll see you again next week.

Bye.

Bye.