how i went from being insecure to being secure

Summary

In this video, Nela shares her 13-year journey toward self-acceptance and security, highlighting the internal struggles that contributed to her insecurity. She discusses the importance of acknowledging personal flaws, regulating emotions, and detoxing from negative influences like gossip and social media comparison. Nela emphasizes that true self-love is a long, ongoing process, requiring time and introspection. Through personal reflection, journaling, and prayer, she learned to focus on her inner growth rather than external validation. Her story is an encouraging reminder that self-acceptance is a process that takes time and effort.

Takeaways

• 😀 Acknowledge your insecurity: You can't fix something if you don't admit it first. Accept your insecurities and recognize them as the starting point for growth.
• 😀 Know yourself beyond surface details: Self-awareness is about understanding how you regulate emotions, not just your favorite things or people.
• 😀 Time is key: Self-love and personal growth take time. Don't rush the process or set unrealistic deadlines for yourself.
• 😀 Detox from negativity: Gossiping and hate grow negativity within. Letting go of these habits can improve self-acceptance and decrease insecurity.
• 😀 Avoid comparison: Social media often presents a curated version of reality. Comparing your whole life to someone's highlights will always lead to insecurity.
• 😀 Overthinking is fueled by distraction: People tend to overthink when they're not distracted by their usual streams of information (like social media), so it's important to face your emotions head-on.
• 😀 It's okay to feel: Emotions, whether positive or negative, should be acknowledged and processed. Ignoring them can lead to bigger issues later on.
• 😀 Self-reflection helps regulate emotions: Journaling or writing down your feelings is a great way to gain clarity on your emotions and determine if your thoughts are true.
• 😀 Choose your environment wisely: Surround yourself with people who encourage positive growth and avoid those who bring you down or make you feel insecure.
• 😀 Prayer and spirituality can provide strength: Spiritual practices, such as prayer, can offer a powerful tool for emotional support and personal healing.

Q & A

What is the main theme of the speaker's message?

The main theme is the journey of overcoming insecurity and the importance of self-awareness, emotional regulation, and healing from within. The speaker emphasizes that true self-confidence is built over time and requires inner work.

How long did it take for the speaker to become more secure?

It took the speaker about 13 years to become more secure in themselves.

What was one of the key realizations the speaker had during their journey?

One of the key realizations was that the problem of insecurity was not external but internal. The speaker realized that they had to work on themselves internally to feel more secure.

Why does the speaker reject the 'fake it till you make it' mentality?

The speaker rejects the 'fake it till you make it' mentality because they believe that building something on false pretenses will never become real. Instead, they emphasize the importance of genuine confidence and self-improvement.

What is the first step the speaker suggests for overcoming insecurity?

The first step is to acknowledge the problem—recognizing and admitting that insecurity exists and understanding one's own perspective and views of themselves.

Why is knowing oneself important in the process of overcoming insecurity?

Knowing oneself is important because it helps in understanding how to regulate emotions. The speaker emphasizes the need to be aware of feelings such as sadness, anxiety, happiness, and discomfort to effectively manage them and improve self-awareness.

What role does time play in the process of healing from insecurity?

Time plays a crucial role in healing. The speaker stresses that it's okay to take time—whether months or years—to get to know oneself and process past hurt. Healing is not an overnight process.

How does gossip contribute to insecurity?

Gossip fosters negative feelings, including self-hate. When one gossips or judges others, it plants seeds of negativity, which can lead to hating oneself over time. The speaker shares their personal experience of this pattern.

What impact does social media have on our perception of ourselves?

Social media creates a false sense of perfection, as people only showcase the best aspects of their lives. This can lead to unhealthy comparisons, where one compares their own flaws to the curated highlights of others' lives, which can contribute to feelings of insecurity.

How can journaling help in the process of overcoming insecurity?

Journaling helps by providing an outlet for processing and reflecting on one's emotions. It allows the speaker to express their feelings and examine whether those feelings are true or not, facilitating emotional regulation and clarity.

What is the importance of choosing the right friends and partners in building self-security?

Choosing the right friends and partners is vital because they can either support or hinder personal growth. The speaker advises surrounding oneself with people who build you up, make you feel secure, and avoid those who contribute to feelings of insecurity or superiority.