How to Make FRIENDS in Your 20s (3 Steps to Build Social CONFIDENCE)

Summary

In this video, the speaker shares their journey of overcoming a scarcity mindset about friendships and building a vibrant social life in their late 20s. They reflect on their solitary 27th birthday, feeling disconnected, and contrast it with their 29th birthday, surrounded by friends. The speaker offers practical tips on cultivating friendships, including embracing interests, starting with light conversations, taking initiative, and developing emotional intelligence. Emphasizing the importance of an abundance mindset, they inspire viewers to believe in the ease of making friends, regardless of age, and the value of nurturing meaningful connections.

Takeaways

• 😀 It's never too late to make friends, no matter your age, and building social confidence is possible even in your late 20s.
• 😀 Transitioning from a scarcity mindset to an abundance mindset can drastically change your approach to friendships and help you grow your social circle.
• 😀 Starting with shared interests, whether it's books, hobbies, or activities, makes it easier to connect with others and form meaningful friendships.
• 😀 Take small, light steps when making new friends, like initiating casual conversations or hanging out in low-pressure settings.
• 😀 Don't be afraid of rejection when trying to make friends. It’s a normal part of the process and there are always more people to connect with.
• 😀 Taking the initiative to reach out and plan activities, even when it feels scary, is key to building deeper connections and friendships.
• 😀 It's important to cast a wide net and engage with various communities, whether through social media, networking events, or hobbies.
• 😀 Cultivating emotional intelligence, empathy, vulnerability, and openness helps in connecting on a deeper level with new friends.
• 😀 Making 'bids for connection'—inviting people to spend time together and share experiences—can lead to stronger, more meaningful friendships.
• 😀 Remember that building friendships is a gradual process, and not every friendship will last forever. Be patient and kind to yourself during the journey.

Q & A

What was the turning point in the speaker's social life?

The turning point occurred at the end of the speaker's long-term relationship, where they transitioned from a scarcity mindset to an abundance mindset. This shift allowed them to value friendships more and actively seek out connections.

How did the speaker's perception of making friends change over time?

Initially, the speaker had a scarcity mindset, believing that making friends was difficult and that they would lose friends as they aged. Over time, they adopted an abundance mindset, realizing that there are plenty of people to connect with and that it’s never too late to make new friends.

What is the importance of embracing one's interests in building friendships?

Embracing personal interests makes it easier to engage in conversations and form connections with others who share similar passions. If someone doesn’t have interests yet, they’re encouraged to explore different activities and discover new hobbies to enrich their social life.

What are some examples of activities the speaker used to meet new people?

The speaker engaged in activities like starting a virtual book club, organizing meetups for dog owners, attending professional development groups like Monday Girl, and reconnecting with old friends. They also participated in events like thrift shopping, brunches, and hiking.

How does the speaker suggest starting friendships and easing into deeper connections?

The speaker recommends starting with light conversation and small talk. Over time, as you see the person again or get to know them better, you can suggest casual hangouts like coffee dates or walks. Building friendships gradually and at a comfortable pace is key.

What role does rejection play in the friendship-building process?

Rejection is a natural part of making friends and should not be taken personally. The speaker emphasizes that there are many people out there who would love to connect, and experiencing rejection simply means it's not the right match. An abundance mindset helps to overcome the fear of rejection.

Why is it important to take initiative when building friendships?

Taking initiative is crucial because it shows that you’re interested in developing connections. It can be intimidating, but most people are open to hanging out and appreciate being invited. Overcoming the fear of reaching out is an essential part of forming new relationships.

What does the speaker mean by 'casting a wide net' in the context of making friends?

Casting a wide net means reaching out to multiple people or trying different activities and groups to meet a variety of potential friends. The speaker encourages not being afraid to ask different people to join in activities, as it increases the chances of finding like-minded individuals.

What is emotional intelligence, and why is it important in friendships?

Emotional intelligence refers to the ability to empathize, show vulnerability, and be compassionate. It is vital in friendships because it helps build deeper, more meaningful connections. Cultivating these traits within oneself enhances the quality of friendships and allows for stronger bonds.

What does the speaker mean by making 'bids for connection' in friendships?

Making bids for connection involves taking the initiative to open up and share personal experiences or emotions with others. This vulnerability can foster closer relationships, but it’s important to be open to receiving bids from others as well, creating a space for mutual emotional exchange.