Why "Better" Is The Solution To Perfectionism | Sarah Pospos | TEDxSUNYCortland

Summary

In this deeply reflective talk, the speaker explores the impact of perfectionism on personal growth and productivity. As a psychiatrist and a former athlete, she shares her struggle with procrastination, stemming from a desire to be perfect in every aspect of life—whether learning Spanish or balancing motherhood and work. The speaker highlights the dangers of perfectionism, including anxiety, burnout, and inaction. She challenges the audience to embrace imperfection, take small steps towards their goals, and realize that progress is more important than perfection. The talk encourages immediate action and the understanding that 'good enough' is truly great.

Takeaways

• 😀 Perfectionism often leads to procrastination, especially when we fear not meeting high standards, resulting in a cycle of inaction.
• 😀 Trying to be perfect can prevent progress, as it may lead us to overanalyze and overplan instead of taking meaningful action.
• 😀 Perfectionists are more likely to procrastinate, with a study showing that 40% of procrastinators also exhibit perfectionistic tendencies.
• 😀 The societal pressure to present a 'perfect' life on social media adds to feelings of inadequacy and anxiety.
• 😀 The pursuit of perfection can cause burnout, depression, and anxiety, and is often linked to unrealistic expectations in both personal and professional lives.
• 😀 Rather than focusing on being the best, it's essential to recognize that taking imperfect action is better than doing nothing at all.
• 😀 The 'optimal' moment often never arrives, and waiting for the 'perfect' conditions can stop us from making progress towards our goals.
• 😀 The speaker reflects on their own struggles with perfectionism, especially in balancing their professional and personal life after becoming a parent.
• 😀 Embracing 'good enough' can lead to progress, as perfection can hinder the willingness to start or complete tasks.
• 😀 The speaker's solution to combat perfectionism involves breaking tasks into manageable steps and taking small, consistent actions—like reading a chapter of a book in Spanish each day.
• 😀 The key to overcoming perfectionism is to focus on progress, not perfection, by taking action now, rather than waiting for the ideal moment.

Q & A

Why did the speaker start learning Spanish?

The speaker began learning Spanish after meeting their husband, Gerardo, whose family speaks mostly Spanish.

What has been the speaker's experience with learning Spanish?

Despite starting Spanish lessons 10 years ago, the speaker's Spanish proficiency remains basic, limited to simple phrases like 'Hola, como estas.'

What role does perfectionism play in the speaker's struggles?

The speaker's perfectionism prevents them from taking action, as they want to be the best at Spanish right away, leading to procrastination and inaction.

What is the connection between perfectionism and procrastination?

Perfectionism can lead to procrastination because individuals fear they won't meet their high standards, and thus delay starting tasks altogether.

What is the impact of perfectionism on mental health?

Perfectionism is linked to higher risks of burnout, depression, and anxiety, and is also associated with higher rates of procrastination.

How does the speaker address the issue of perfectionism in their life?

The speaker recognizes that perfectionism is holding them back and concludes that striving for perfection can hinder progress. They start taking small steps, like reading short stories in Spanish, rather than waiting for the perfect circumstances.

What is the significance of the speaker's experience with motherhood?

Motherhood, particularly the birth of their first child, made the speaker realize that their drive for perfection was unsustainable. It led them to focus on progress rather than perfection.

What research does the speaker cite about perfectionism?

The speaker refers to a study showing that perfectionism has increased significantly over the years, with a 33% rise in perfectionism among college students from 1989 to 2016.

What is the speaker's message regarding perfectionism and action?

The speaker encourages people to stop waiting for the perfect moment and start taking action, as doing something, even imperfectly, is better than doing nothing at all.

What strategy did the speaker use to integrate exercise into their life?

The speaker began incorporating small forms of exercise into their routine, such as walking with their baby and dog, using a stepper under their desk, and rearranging things around the house.